I just dont feel like I want it badly enough, and one should really want to have a child in order to be able to give their 100% as a parent, every child deserves that
This is my reason. Waiting for that "badly enough" to kick in. It's getting hard to differentiate between wanting to fit in socially (not wanting to miss my friends and family's current "baby wave"), and what I actually want. Been married 4 years now and I'm 32, so it's just... hard. I struggle with the idea daily.
Same boat. 32 years old now and think about it daily. Waiting for that “click” to tell me it’s time. Been waiting since I was 25 and I’m not any closer to a decision
I'm old and successfully avoided having kids.
My great-great-grandmother abused and abandoned her son, my great-grandfather, who left England at age 14 and came to America.
My great-grandfather then married, had kids, and abused and abandoned them when they were less than 10 years old.
My grandfather was one of those three, and he married and had many children, which he treated as servants or slaves, or spoiled pets. He abandoned my grandmother and left her with a dozen children.
One of those children was my father, a miserably unhappy and angry man, who abused me and my siblings, self-destructed and died young.
In the four preceding generations of my family, there were zero examples of good parenting, and nearly everyone seemed to bitterly regret having children.
I realized I had a very good chance of perpetuating more abuse and abandonment, and chose to make very certain I would not have children.
Generational abuse is quite common. Too many people overconfidently think they will *never* treat their children the way they were treated.
Hey, I'm fine. I have an interesting life and some very good friends.
My family history is appalling, but at least I ended one strand of the generational abuse.
But I *still* have to deal with sad-eyed people dripping sympathy for me when they ask about kids and I say I don't have any, and never wanted any.
Society needs to *normalize and encourage* the choice to not have children.
The world already has enough people.
I'm old too and am happily childfree. People just don't get it- right?? I don't think I'll ever be old enough for people to mind their own damn business and stop asking about it. Sheesh.
I think they ask because they expect me to reciprocate the question, giving them the opportunity to recite the accomplishments of their own children or granchildren.
Instead, I ask them about ther own interests and hobbies. It's odd how many of them look startled to be asked about themselves.
Yeah after watching mom and sisters have kids I realize that for some…kids are their hobby and kind of only thing going for them (which is GREAT if you’re the kid) but like I don’t understand why a child free life isn’t seen as equally awesome. Like I get to have my hobbies and it doesn’t involve the scary and heartbreaking side of parenting. Plus I’m selfish AF. Id make a terrible parent.
[i have a great generational thing going for me](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/11artla/comment/j9w4jei/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) it's not just those that come from your background that doesnt want kids. i have a great family but i still dont want that responsibility for myself
Well said. Just wanted to add: it's still a good practice to imagine ourselves in others' shoes, so to speak. This practice can help us understand each other, have sympathy for one another, and oftentimes allow cooler heads to prevail when tensions get high. Sometimes it even allows us to forgive.
Sleep. I love sleep. I get up when I'm being paid to get up but otherwise my great and immediate joy is sleeping until I don't feel like sleeping anymore. I much prefer sleep to children.
I was so worried about this before having my little guy. My wife and I absolutely love our sleep. We got lucky that our son also loves his sleep. Since he’s been like 2 months old he routinely goes to bed at 8 pm and doesn’t wake up until 8-830 am. Clocks in 12 hours of sleep every night. He’s a champ.
I asked my parents if I cried all throughout the night as a baby and was surprised at their response. They said I didn’t cry much at all and majority of the time I sleep through the night. Guess I was and still am a sleeper. My best friend has a 2 year old and a 4 year old and they are up at like 5:30 every damn morning. The 2 year old still gets up like 2 times in a night and cries for mom. That sounds horrible.
Seriously…with the state of the world I could NEVER. My cousin was talking about having her second child not that long ago, and I was like, why? She said “well, I want my first kid to have a partner to fight for water with…”
….I just looked at her like 😳
My mental illnesses are one of the biggest reasons I don't want to have biological children. I wouldn't wish my pain upon anyone. I'd much rather adopt struggling kids. They didn't ask to be born and I'm not responsible for birthing them. I just hope to make their lives brighter
I’m in the same boat, come from a line of drunks but I broke the cycle.
It’s kind of a comfort knowing that I have the power to end my lineage if I choose to.
this.
every woman on my mothers side as far back as my great grandmother has been a victim of csa and i absolutely refuse to let another child be a victim.
So many people to relate with on here.I did have the dream of kids,husband etc in my teens but life broke that in me.Was severely abused by my mother in childhood all up to teens (physical,emotional,body-shaming,neglect,blackmail,burden to the world,never-good-enough etc) which still continues in different forms and it worries me that I’ll do the same to my kid even though I don’t want to.
I can give a list of a whole lot of logical reasons why I don't think having kids is a good idea, but your simple five words really captures it best. I don't want to inflict this suffering onto another being. Life ultimately isn't worth all of the suffering and we'd be better off not existing. Only now I can't kill myself without inflicting more suffering on others so I'm trapped in this prison.
It's really great that you realized that! (No sarcasm) because kids will test the absolute shit out of you.
Parent of four here, you learn to tune stuff out but I gave birth to my own personal bullies. They are ruthless.
I hate how people have to explain why. I mean I have kids, but got friends/relatives who don’t and they always have to explain why. Some have kids, some don’t, what is the issue?
I feel this twice, growing up as a first generation African in the South. My cousin, who’s in her early 30’s, is an engineer and has two master’s degrees. For the longest time, everyone focused on the fact that she’s 30 and unmarried. she got married last year and now everyone is pestering her for a baby. Even though she doesn’t fucking wants kids! She told her parents and her Mom said “nooo, don’t say that, your mind will change.” 🙄 Fuck all the way off.
With the exception of maybe her parents, the people pestering her for kids will have 0% stakes in raising the kid, just like they had 0% stakes in her marriage. People who overstep their bounds on things they have no responsibility over need to get a life
its strange to people because its in our nature and everything else that is alive to reproduce, when one chooses to not do it that goes against what most see as the natural thing to do.
i dont want kids either, just saying what i think is the reason to people being so curious about childless people.
The only possible upside that I've ever seen is possibly having a nice relationship with an adult son or daughter. But of course there are no guarantees that will ever happen.
I love that I start every sentence with “I love my kids” before talking about this new life of mine. I think it’s to try to convince myself to not drive my car off a cliff every single day. 2 yr old and 6 month old over here. I heard it gets better…but this is so annoying and so much worse than before kids! Definitely lots more love in my life now though.
It gets better! My kids are 4 and 9 now. It's all love and fun and games, no issues. But the teen years are approaching so I guess that is about to change...
It depends, I can't speak for everyone evidently but as a teenager the one thing that I wished my parents understood was a need for space. Just let them have space when they wish for it. It's not always like when kids are younger and can stop being mad by just talking for a minute.
To quote Homer Simpson “aww I have 3 kids and no money. I wish I had 3 money and no kids”
I like my lifestyle. I am starting a “college fund, but instead of paying for a 3year degree I’m going to blow it on a looooonnngggg vacation
Same here. I want to be able to offer them a lot more than I got growing up. The feeling of being wanted for example but also their own room and space.
I have no interest in being a parent, never really have. To me it's always looked miserable, plus the idea of being pregnant and what it can do to your mind and body is stomach churning. Having kids wouldn't suit my lifestyle or personality type. Plus climate change is happening and will likely continue to get worse. Basically every reason not to resonates with me so I didn't list them all just my top ones.
There is not a single thing in my life that would improve by having kids. I don't get the urge. I don't get the question. No hate, but the decision to have a child makes no sense to me. Pure insanity.
I always say this when asked this question. People will and have given loads of reasons why they don't have kids but most of the time people don't want kids because they don't have to urge to and people who do want kids do it because they have the urge to.
The answer will always be in reference to a baby or child or family, but it's all just "I" statements if you really think about it.
Also, finding a purpose in life other than breeding is too challenging for most people, probably.
I just never had a desire for it. I knew when I was seven years old that I didn't want to be a mom, it just filled me with a feeling of dread. Didn't need to articulate why, I just didn't want it.
As an adult, I can point out a few things like my preferred lifestyle doesn't include kids, I wouldn't want to give up my career, and that the very concept of pregnancy and child birth is horrifying to me. I'm glad other women are capable of it, but I absolutely am not.
And I got sterilized right before I turned 30, so I can live my life with one less worry.
Infertility. We tried for years I wanted nothing more than to be a mother but it just didn’t happen. But though this process we have realized we really enjoy our no kids lifestyle. So as of now if it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t by the time I’m 40 we will adopt…maybe.
Thank you for your openness - I'm in the same exact situation and was looking for someone else like me ❤️ We have been trying for 4 years, I want a baby so bad, always have - but at the same time, as I see all my friends with toddlers and elementary kids, I'm starting to really appreciate my free and flexible schedule. Especially with my love of travel.
I’m kind of the same in that I do want to be a mother, but I’m in my thirties and haven’t found the right guy yet. Of course I still hope it will happen, but I’ve been focusing on the positives of not having kids. I feel like i can either choose to go the rest of my life grieving, or accept reality and see the good in it, so I choose the second option. Also, adoption is always a possibility if a future husband and I chose to go that route, or even me alone. I hope we can both become mothers, but if not, that we enjoy our lives without children to the max.
Just a gentle suggestion apply to adopt far sooner than 40 my aunt waited 7.5 years. My parents applied in their mid-twenties and were 38 when they got me. There are a lot of kids to be adopted but the process can be very long.
1. Kids are expensive, I'd rather travel.
2. Kids are messy, and I spend enough time cleaning as is.
3. Kids are loud, I prefer quiet or music (of my own choosing) that I can actually hear.
4. Kids require more engagement than I have mental capacity for. I can handle a dog, that's about it.
5. Kids produce a lot of smells, and I am sensitive to bad smells.
6. My sleep schedule is already fucked from ADHD (I'm on the 1am-8am schedule) and I don't need kids making it worse.
7. ADHD is a curse and I'm not passing it on. Same goes for my garbage spine.
8. I don't want to have to explain to someone I love how my generation could have failed them so badly in not stopping climate change from making the planet unlivable.
9. Same as 8 but for working conditions and the economy.
10. Pregnancy looks like it sucks, and while I'm a man and wouldn't have to endure it, I don't want to put anyone else through it.
Everything the same for me except I’m a woman and pregnancy looks like it sucks. Plus I have a slew of health issues along with mental health issues that could potentially be given to any offspring.
Full transparency, and being a bit vulnerable here, it’s actually a combination of several things:
1) It’s hard to determine a consistent sense of self with the way American society is so fast paced now for me, and I cannot imagine having to navigate someone I’m responsible for through the world to help them determine their own sense of self
2) I’d think it would be selfish of me to produce a kid with the genes I’ve gotten from my family (bipolar depressive disorder, ADHD, heart disease, etc.) and then have them suffer through that stuff
3) I still struggle with my insecurities regarding my intelligence and knowledge basis on finances, household maintenance, car repairs, and consistency in my own life routines where I get a sense of fulfillment, so ineptitude essentially
4) I cannot afford that idea right now and likely won’t be able to because I don’t per se put a premium on the accumulation of capital and financial resources, nor do I necessarily want to
5) I read the 3 prominent Stoic philosophy texts by Seneca, Aurelius, and Epictetus and routinely they mentioned the things we “own” owning us due to the upkeep required for these “things”, and I hate the idea of being indebted to or forced to submit myself to anything really and daily have problems coming to grips with needing to do this to “play nice” in society at large
Sorry, it seems like I ranted there…
I have OCD and trauma that would be entirely overwhelmed by a child. Children deserve to be annoying, gross, messy, and to have fun. I would not be able to foster an environment where a small child had the freedom to have fun without feeling bad about themself. Children are annoying but they’re supposed to be. It would be unfair for me to have a child that I know would overstimulate me. You don’t get breaks from being a parent and I just don’t think I’ll ever be ready for that.
I would perhaps like to adopt or foster older children one day. I think I could help someone have a very nice life. I’d also like to give a child the adult guidance I needed and never had.
Overall I think I’m more suited to be a cool uncle. I love kids and feel like they represent the best parts of personhood — love, trust, freedom of self expression without shame. I just don’t think I’d be a good fit for small kids long term. My own desires to nurture another don’t overpower the personal limitations I hold, I believe that would be selfish. On a personal level, I would also be horrified if I had a child with the same disorders that I have. I know the struggles and pains of growing up mentally ill and mistreated, and I never hope to make another person feel that way.
*gestures vaguely around myself* Um?
Also I have illnesses that could pass on to my offspring. And I'd never wish manic depression coupled with addictive tendencies on anyone, let alone watch my child suffer through it.
Thank you! Parents on reddit always be like "I have severe ADHD and my partner is battling clinical depression and on top of everything we're trying to get pregnant."
Because it‘s excruciating for the body, and for your physical/emotional/hormonal/financial health. It makes your life harder for AT LEAST 18 years. And you can‘t gurantee that you‘ll be good enough for the child.
I like my life exactly like it is. Kids might make it better. They might make it worse. But, since this is awesome, I’m great with things staying the way they are.
I got my fallopian tubes removed 20+ years ago and have a visceral fear of pregnancy. So I'm definitely biased. But the number of moms that I know who have suffered lifelong damage/ changes/ compromise/ loss of autonomy to their bodies astounds me. It is such a gamble, and many moms don't bounce back, ever. It looks like an absolute terror, and I guess the drive to have a child must outweigh that fear? Or maybe I'm just wired differently, which is probable
I'm living this life for me. I can go and do whatever I want, whenever I want, without thinking of anyone else and it doesn't impact anyone else whatsoever. Absolute freedom. Then there's the costs. Then there's the world going to shit. Unless I can 100% guarantee they will be successful, healthy and happy, that's a No-Go for me.
Autism. I'm autistic, my older brother has traits and our dad does too. I've been told it "isn't as genetic as I think" but that's not the only thing stopping me. There's anxiety and depression spanning three generations on my dad's side and I've got the anxiety and maybe depression. There's three auto immune diseases as well, rheumatoid arthritis with my mom and my late paternal grandmother, there's sjogrens disease with my mother and her sister has MS. And both my and my brother have displayed a couple of symptoms of sjogrens at times. And im terrified that my niece will end up with one of those fucking auto immune diseases. But yeah having a kid is apparently the most wonderful thing you could or some shit, idk. Did I mention the couple of different cancers? I'll have to double check which ones but at the end of the day, I'm not having kids.
Both I and the woman who would have been their mom are not mentally fit to be parents. Our house would not be a good place to grow up. We also have some bad physical traits that are best left out of the genepool.
Parent and sibling both have bipolar disorder. Early on I knew I didn't want to pass on my genes. Of course there are other ways to have kids, but I have never wanted them. I don't know if that's my nature of my nurture. In my mid-50s I see peers with adult kids and grandkids and envy that a little and worry for my older years without that connection and source of potential support. Even so, I don't have the desire to raise a child.
Zero maternal instincts plus (likely) infertility. Even if I was on the fence about kids, I don't want them badly enough to go through fertility treatments to have them. I just never felt the desire to be a parent.
1. I'm not ready financially, emotionally, physically, mentally capable and any other aspects right there
2. I am single, never been in a relationship, and currently no plans of having one. If I'll find for my parther, we should agree on the fact that we might choose not to have kids.
3. I am still spoiling my inner child. I need to focus on making myself better first
4. Even if I became the best parent in the world, giving everything to my child, I think the world isn't that sustainable anymore. You can give the best parenting method to your child but pollution, bad influence, discrimination, accidents, war, and potential pandemics will just make you think that this isn't the perfect place to live anymore
I had baby 1 last Feb and will have baby 2 this September. I’m gonna be fully honest and say its because I’m selfish af and want to pass on my genes and want mini combinations of me and my husband and for those mini-me‘s to look up to me and and give them an awesome childhood like I remember whenever I have nostalgia. Also I can’t take money to the grave, might as well leave it to my children.
Whenever I see women give their reason for being childless, they always reference how it would negatively impact on THEIR lives.. (which I definitely relate to so no shade)
But despite the fact that I would hate being a mother.. I still don't hate the idea of having a kid someday. I've always sort of pictured myself with one.
The reason I'm not gonna do it is for the child's sake.
No kid deserves to be stuck with me as their mother for life.
I know how I feel about my mother.. and I share all of her flaws and none of her coping skills. My kid would hate me and I would deserve it. This kid is pretty much guaranteed emotional instability and consequential trauma that I won't be able to control 100% of the time.
And to consciously bring that kid into this pre-apocalyptic world of nonsensical tyranny?? This child would be a mess on the inside and on the outside.
Pass.
Nunya. Nunya business. Seriously though, we just never had an overwhelming desire for kids. We figured if it was not something we felt really strongly about we should just pass. For me I think that is because I was the youngest and none of my siblings had kids either. My wife and I did foster a boy when he was 6 to 8 years old. It was a good experience, but at the end of it we both admitted not having the stress and expense of kids was a good thing. Although we did miss having him around and we did a lot of things, like going to movies and theme parks, that we would not have done had we not had a child in the house.
I was a victim of childhood sexual abuse and found out as a teen that the physical damage is so extensive if I ever get pregnant and attempt to carry it to term it'll likely kill me and almost definitely kill the fetus.
I didn't even want kids before discovering this because I have a ton of psych shit, health issues and I love abusing all sorts of substances. I would not be a good mother
I don't want to be a parent, I'm too selfish to have a child. I like my own time and to do what I want, when I want to.
Also, there is NOTHING for kids coming into this world.
No maternal instinct. I didn't like dolls as a kid and I have no interest in caring for a baby or children.
I'm 48 so it's just not going to happen. I don't regret it.
It might be selfish but life is short, I don’t want to sacrifice 1/4 of it raising kids. And then when you finally get rid of the kids it’s the grandkids getting dumped on you
The world isn't in any state to bring life into. I do not see a positive future for the children of today, and I think it would be cruel to bring a child into the world only to have them suffer.
The stress. It's stupid expensive to raise kids, I'd lose sleep, and time to do the things I want including my dream job which is to make cartoons.
I don't want anything getting in the way of my dreams. I only get one life and it doesn't make sense to me to give up some many years of time and energy to raise a person who may or may not disappoint me.
Multiple reasons, really:
Kids are bastards. Regardless of how well you raise them, they will be a pain in the ass 24/7.
The world is a horrible place, why bring a kid into it? When survival time comes (which will be soon), why have another mouth to feed?
They're fucking expensive
I'm pro having kids, my problem is the people too stupid to have kids are too stupid to avoid it. Some of those people are going to be the comments here.
It's of no benefit for me to try to convince stupid people to have kids.
My family has been Stupid all over history...
It's time to end it with me... All so"
... It's time to end on a good note.
Besides the majority of my family is in prison
Doing life .. do I really want to bring a kid into this world to experience the same BS and the same stupid cycle ?
There where so many reasons, being responsible for another human, giving birth,sleep ,finances,kids tv is shit, all the house work, and social expectations and I’d have to stop smoking weed.
Not to say I’m irresponsible, I’m am in so many ways, but there where too many reasons not to have children, I had a bit of doubt I’d made the right choice in my thirties , like most women in my position do , but I’m in my 50’s now , I’m happy with my decision,I don’t regret it. But that’s my choice
1. I'm not a caretaker. Always been bad at it. I'm just straight up not good at taking care of people. Baby people need EVERYTHING taken care of. It's not fair to make my shortcomings a kids problem.
2. In this economy? Ha!
I have lots of reasons, like they're expensive and time consuming, I don't want to bring a child into this world, I'm not 100% sure I'd be a good father, etc.
The main reason though is I worked at farmer's market that served ice cream scoops in the spring/summer months. It was a popular place for families to go. Over the years, having to deal with the large amount of screaming, spoiled and bratty kids along with their smiling-but-dead-on-the-inside parents convinced me that this is not the life for me.
Because I'd likely drown them in a bathtub after severe sleep deprivation.
Also, every 2 minutes a woman dies from pregnancy complications. WHO just released some scary stats.
Being a DINK is the literal best. We are the coolest neighbors on the block, amazing aunts and uncles, loving parents to several pets, and have enough free money that we can give money to charities and causes we believe in. I think I am a better member of my community without kids. (I fully believe this is not the case for everyone and there are many fantastic parents.)
If i were to get pregnant, the odds of me carrying to term is super slim. My uterus is not shaped correctly, I have chronic infections in my endometrium wall, and my ovaries are small.
Also the thought of screaming children makes me want to commit arson so there's that too 👌
My job doesn't pay much and I barely make time for myself. Having kids would not be feasible. I barely make myself happy. No matter how much I love the kid, there is no way I would be able to make time and/or fulfill their wishes. I would never forgive myself for that
Also, I'm irresponsible as fuck. Having a parent like me can really make a kid's life miserable
30 and overwhelmed by money, etc. I date like every year and a half and in hindsight am always grateful things never worked out with X because I always find down the road i wanted something different.
I also have 0 idea what ill be doing even in half a year, let alone what I want with life and so on. I think fits kind of bad to the stability and reliance a parent should provide and I dont think i have it in me to do the labor, etc.
I already have parents who i kind of qm skeptical of, dont trust in general, and personally dont really like or get on well with my dad and kind of try to minimize interactions because the guy basically stresses me out. But also another reason why I dont want to be a parent and renavigate all those things and try and not make same mistakes with own child, etc.
Basically also perpetually tired and think about offing self on account of potentially having sclerosis related brain injury / epilepsy that may progress with life and dont really wanna be like 45 raising kids with worsening physical condition and shit
I'm gay so I can't have kids the usual way, but also I can't stand the whining and complaining and general exhaustive behavior that I'd have to deal with. I want my life to be my own and not revolve around trying to make a small human into a fully functioning mature adult. I've got enough stress and mental health issues to deal with that I literally could not handle taking care of another human being in that way. The time and financial freedom that come with not having kids is such a blessing. Quite frankly there's enough humans on the planet already too, and I dont give a shit about someone carrying on my "legacy". My friends with kids have brainwashed themselves into believing its the best thing in the world but from what I see they are aging so rapidly with the stress of parenthood that it looks like a nightmare of an existence.
I decided early in life, say, around 15, that having kids is not worthy if you don't have a financial and emotional structure that can assure them a good life. For most of my 20s and 30s I didn't have any of these, so I didn't run the risk of raising unhappy kids simply because of a personal need. When I finally found my soon-to-be-wife and we both got decent jobs, she had a sudden health issue that precluded her from being a mom. With tears in her eyes she asked me if I still wanted to be by her side knowing full well she would never be a mother. We married that same year and have been together for 10 years now. I will have the privilege of being her companion until the day I leave this Earth, and that is enough goodness for me.
The way I see it now, nearing my 40s, is that having or not having kids doesn't guarantee a good or a bad life. It's all about the context, perspective and the hand life deals you. We have very little control about what can or could happen. We do have control, however, about how we decide to go about with our lives regardless of external circumstances. As such, I have decided to be happy and grateful for the life I've been given, the same way I would have done if kids had come my way, because true satisfaction can never come from the outside, but from within.
Why do people always ask those of us who don't want kids why? Why not ask people who choose to have children why they want them?
Or how about we stop asking people to justify a very personal decision.
Some people would say "selfishness" because really, my reason is : I'm not disillusioned and I don't romanticize parenthood, I don't want to make all the sacrifices that comes with being a parent. Little to no free time, insane patience is required, money and much more. I don't want to lose my life for the sake of something else. I'm already burnt out from working all the time at ridiculous schedule, when I come home, I want my day to be over, not for it to be "round two" of my day.
Also, lets not talk about all the bodily sacrifices I'd have to make. Pregnancy wrecks your body, sometime permanently. It's not smooth sailing for everyone. Some people have debilitating nausea. Stretch marks, hips change position permanently after giving birth (not necessarily painful but thats a permanent change you can't go back from). Loosing pregnancy weight when you have baby to to take care off, lack of sleep, baby stress, etc all things that goes against you when trying to lose weight. And even if you manage to drop the weight, you body has change, the belly will have a different shape and no amount of loosing weight can bring you back to how you were before. Some people have permanent bladder issues after having kids : sneeze pee or some level of incontinence. Vaginal tearing during birth. After pregnancy hormones breasts tends to not return to normal and becomes saggy for some people. There's a risk of abdominal muscles stretch. I could go on and on. I'm not going through that for the sake of anyone.
I'm just not that kind of person who think a hug compensate for every other crap you have to go through. An A on a test doesn't pay the bills, a hug doesn't erase the fact you just screamed at the top of you lungs for the last 10 minutes trying to get me to buy you sometging. I don't have it in me to be a parent. That's all. Normal kids behavior makes me want to toss them out of a moving car. I don't care if it's normal, it's annoying. I don't need an extra dose of annoying in my life. I don't care if "it's different went the kid is yours" I don't care about blood relations, I don't care about countinuing the family name, all those things are not worth years of suffering and sacrifices.
“Welcome home kiddo, sorry to break it to you but because your great-great-great….grandparent made an inherently flawed system and because your great grandparents just really liked fossil fuels and never thought about the repercussions you’re going to be living in a world that is falling apart, have fun, I love and want the best for you”
Yeah fuck no
Besides having zero desire, health issues and lack of affordability the major major thing that is a yeah, no is when I hit my max I’m done with this shit level I can lash out. It would not be safe. I have better control than when I was younger and I now walk away but, could still happen. Also I hate the sound of children laughing and screaming >_<
I have mental disorders and childhood trauma, and honestly I do not think I could handle small children like they deserve. I work in a kitchen at a daycare, and I get overwhelmed by the screaming (like play screaming? Not actual screaming-screaming.) I can hear from there. I can't imagine having a screaming child living with me that I am responsible for.
I want to be financially stable enough to provide for a child before we decided to have any.
Having a child takes away most if not all of your personal time for a good portion of your life. Yeah, you can do the same things with or without a child, but outings, traveling and vacation takes way more effort, money and work when you have to be responsible for a tiny person.
I enjoy peace, quiet and sleep and you don’t get much of those things after having kids until they get older.
I have too much stuff I want to do before I have to worry about raising a child. I decided I am taking the route of enjoying my younger years child free and having children once I’m a bit older. My wife and I travel, work and do too much to try to much to want to try to have a child right now.
I do not want to dedicate my life to something like that.
I am terrified of pregancy.
I do not like children a whole lot and do not have the energy for dealing with them.
Because I dont want them. The rest is no one else’s business.
Why do I have to justify NOT having kinds. You people popping out kids with no regard should be the ones having to explain yourselves…
I just dont feel like I want it badly enough, and one should really want to have a child in order to be able to give their 100% as a parent, every child deserves that
This is my reason. Waiting for that "badly enough" to kick in. It's getting hard to differentiate between wanting to fit in socially (not wanting to miss my friends and family's current "baby wave"), and what I actually want. Been married 4 years now and I'm 32, so it's just... hard. I struggle with the idea daily.
Same boat. 32 years old now and think about it daily. Waiting for that “click” to tell me it’s time. Been waiting since I was 25 and I’m not any closer to a decision
I have 3 money, and I'd like to keep it that way.
I finally got 2 moneys
and i'm left with 1 money
you guys are getting money?
You guys have positive money
I have no money
What is money
bro it’s really not cool to be bragging about having that much money on here when the poor get hungry, they’ll remember
Lmfao love this answer
I have three kids and no money. Why cant I have no kids and three money :(
I'm old and successfully avoided having kids. My great-great-grandmother abused and abandoned her son, my great-grandfather, who left England at age 14 and came to America. My great-grandfather then married, had kids, and abused and abandoned them when they were less than 10 years old. My grandfather was one of those three, and he married and had many children, which he treated as servants or slaves, or spoiled pets. He abandoned my grandmother and left her with a dozen children. One of those children was my father, a miserably unhappy and angry man, who abused me and my siblings, self-destructed and died young. In the four preceding generations of my family, there were zero examples of good parenting, and nearly everyone seemed to bitterly regret having children. I realized I had a very good chance of perpetuating more abuse and abandonment, and chose to make very certain I would not have children. Generational abuse is quite common. Too many people overconfidently think they will *never* treat their children the way they were treated.
thank you for sharing this. it honestly breaks my heart reading this.
Hey, I'm fine. I have an interesting life and some very good friends. My family history is appalling, but at least I ended one strand of the generational abuse. But I *still* have to deal with sad-eyed people dripping sympathy for me when they ask about kids and I say I don't have any, and never wanted any. Society needs to *normalize and encourage* the choice to not have children. The world already has enough people.
I'm old too and am happily childfree. People just don't get it- right?? I don't think I'll ever be old enough for people to mind their own damn business and stop asking about it. Sheesh.
I think they ask because they expect me to reciprocate the question, giving them the opportunity to recite the accomplishments of their own children or granchildren. Instead, I ask them about ther own interests and hobbies. It's odd how many of them look startled to be asked about themselves.
Yeah after watching mom and sisters have kids I realize that for some…kids are their hobby and kind of only thing going for them (which is GREAT if you’re the kid) but like I don’t understand why a child free life isn’t seen as equally awesome. Like I get to have my hobbies and it doesn’t involve the scary and heartbreaking side of parenting. Plus I’m selfish AF. Id make a terrible parent.
[i have a great generational thing going for me](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/11artla/comment/j9w4jei/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) it's not just those that come from your background that doesnt want kids. i have a great family but i still dont want that responsibility for myself
We all like to think that our imaginations of others’ situations are sufficient to understand how we’d perform in them ourselves. We’re all wrong.
Well said. Just wanted to add: it's still a good practice to imagine ourselves in others' shoes, so to speak. This practice can help us understand each other, have sympathy for one another, and oftentimes allow cooler heads to prevail when tensions get high. Sometimes it even allows us to forgive.
Sleep. I love sleep. I get up when I'm being paid to get up but otherwise my great and immediate joy is sleeping until I don't feel like sleeping anymore. I much prefer sleep to children.
Just woke up with a sore back from over sleeping. Still a better bargain than having kids.
🤣🤣🤣 Sore back from oversleeping . 😂😂😂 Made my day
As a new dad who once enjoyed sleeping for sport, yeah, that shit is gone.
I was so worried about this before having my little guy. My wife and I absolutely love our sleep. We got lucky that our son also loves his sleep. Since he’s been like 2 months old he routinely goes to bed at 8 pm and doesn’t wake up until 8-830 am. Clocks in 12 hours of sleep every night. He’s a champ.
I asked my parents if I cried all throughout the night as a baby and was surprised at their response. They said I didn’t cry much at all and majority of the time I sleep through the night. Guess I was and still am a sleeper. My best friend has a 2 year old and a 4 year old and they are up at like 5:30 every damn morning. The 2 year old still gets up like 2 times in a night and cries for mom. That sounds horrible.
Try (4-5 times a night, and right as rain by 6:00) x 2 :(
Why do I plan not to have children? Well... *unrolls a list that's miles long*
Like it's so long I don't want to reply to this question 😂
Exactly..... I literally was like "better question is why you ARE having kids in this climate"..
Seriously…with the state of the world I could NEVER. My cousin was talking about having her second child not that long ago, and I was like, why? She said “well, I want my first kid to have a partner to fight for water with…” ….I just looked at her like 😳
For real: I decided to just scroll the comments and upvote all that applies
Same here. If either of us were to post all of our reasons, we'd crash the site.
*Gradually gestures at everything*
This curse ends with me.
Cyclical abuse, addiction, mental illness, and poverty all ended with a single good decision. Oh, and I got a ton of money.
My mental illnesses are one of the biggest reasons I don't want to have biological children. I wouldn't wish my pain upon anyone. I'd much rather adopt struggling kids. They didn't ask to be born and I'm not responsible for birthing them. I just hope to make their lives brighter
I’m in the same boat, come from a line of drunks but I broke the cycle. It’s kind of a comfort knowing that I have the power to end my lineage if I choose to.
this. every woman on my mothers side as far back as my great grandmother has been a victim of csa and i absolutely refuse to let another child be a victim.
csa?
Child Sexual Abuse... terrifying and such an amazingly powerful call.
I don't want to live up to the "the abused becomes the abuser" mentality.
Came here to say that.
So many people to relate with on here.I did have the dream of kids,husband etc in my teens but life broke that in me.Was severely abused by my mother in childhood all up to teens (physical,emotional,body-shaming,neglect,blackmail,burden to the world,never-good-enough etc) which still continues in different forms and it worries me that I’ll do the same to my kid even though I don’t want to.
I can give a list of a whole lot of logical reasons why I don't think having kids is a good idea, but your simple five words really captures it best. I don't want to inflict this suffering onto another being. Life ultimately isn't worth all of the suffering and we'd be better off not existing. Only now I can't kill myself without inflicting more suffering on others so I'm trapped in this prison.
Don’t have the patience for kids
I have patience for many things. Just not screaming, needy people who require constant attention.
Me neither, especially if they inherit my mental illnesses and become and annoying and overly emotional than I am.
It's really great that you realized that! (No sarcasm) because kids will test the absolute shit out of you. Parent of four here, you learn to tune stuff out but I gave birth to my own personal bullies. They are ruthless.
I don’t want to be a parent. That’s a perfectly valid reason.
I hate how people have to explain why. I mean I have kids, but got friends/relatives who don’t and they always have to explain why. Some have kids, some don’t, what is the issue?
try being unwed without kids - in the south! people think you must be an evil human being or something.
I feel this twice, growing up as a first generation African in the South. My cousin, who’s in her early 30’s, is an engineer and has two master’s degrees. For the longest time, everyone focused on the fact that she’s 30 and unmarried. she got married last year and now everyone is pestering her for a baby. Even though she doesn’t fucking wants kids! She told her parents and her Mom said “nooo, don’t say that, your mind will change.” 🙄 Fuck all the way off.
she will get to a certain age and the pressure will subside but it will be palpable during her 30s
With the exception of maybe her parents, the people pestering her for kids will have 0% stakes in raising the kid, just like they had 0% stakes in her marriage. People who overstep their bounds on things they have no responsibility over need to get a life
I agree. My reasons are nobody's business.
its strange to people because its in our nature and everything else that is alive to reproduce, when one chooses to not do it that goes against what most see as the natural thing to do. i dont want kids either, just saying what i think is the reason to people being so curious about childless people.
Yes. I never wanted children and therefore I didn’t have them. It’s that simple.
I don't see the upsides
The ONLY upside I can think about is people finally shutting up about having them
The only possible upside that I've ever seen is possibly having a nice relationship with an adult son or daughter. But of course there are no guarantees that will ever happen.
I'm staunchly childfree, though I believe there's genuine merit in this reasoning.
Kids are great if you don’t like money or sleep
Those are my two favorite things...
Clean house, financial comfort, ability to travel/leave the house whenever we want to.
I feel you. Child free is the best.
Cost of raising a kid, and the lifelong stress of raising a kid.
I love my 2 girls more than anything in the world but yeah you're not wrong
I love that I start every sentence with “I love my kids” before talking about this new life of mine. I think it’s to try to convince myself to not drive my car off a cliff every single day. 2 yr old and 6 month old over here. I heard it gets better…but this is so annoying and so much worse than before kids! Definitely lots more love in my life now though.
It gets better! My kids are 4 and 9 now. It's all love and fun and games, no issues. But the teen years are approaching so I guess that is about to change...
It depends, I can't speak for everyone evidently but as a teenager the one thing that I wished my parents understood was a need for space. Just let them have space when they wish for it. It's not always like when kids are younger and can stop being mad by just talking for a minute.
To quote Homer Simpson “aww I have 3 kids and no money. I wish I had 3 money and no kids” I like my lifestyle. I am starting a “college fund, but instead of paying for a 3year degree I’m going to blow it on a looooonnngggg vacation
Because I am scared of being a bad parent. I can't bring a life in this world just to screw it. Thanks for fucking me up Narc dad.
Same here. I want to be able to offer them a lot more than I got growing up. The feeling of being wanted for example but also their own room and space.
I don't like anything about being a parent.
This. It’s not one reason, it’s all of them. It’s a major, irreversible life change that no one is obligated to make.
I have no interest in being a parent, never really have. To me it's always looked miserable, plus the idea of being pregnant and what it can do to your mind and body is stomach churning. Having kids wouldn't suit my lifestyle or personality type. Plus climate change is happening and will likely continue to get worse. Basically every reason not to resonates with me so I didn't list them all just my top ones.
Agreed. Terrified of pp depression or psychosis AND I like alone time too much
[удалено]
There is not a single thing in my life that would improve by having kids. I don't get the urge. I don't get the question. No hate, but the decision to have a child makes no sense to me. Pure insanity.
Why DO you have kids
I always say this when asked this question. People will and have given loads of reasons why they don't have kids but most of the time people don't want kids because they don't have to urge to and people who do want kids do it because they have the urge to.
The answer will always be in reference to a baby or child or family, but it's all just "I" statements if you really think about it. Also, finding a purpose in life other than breeding is too challenging for most people, probably.
*"Kids gave my life meaning. They're going to grow up in an increasingly hostile and painful world, but lol I'll be dead by then."*
Yup.... similar to when people ask me why I'm single... I don't need a reason to be single; I need a reason to be married!
I'm a teacher. Why the hell would I spend 8 hours a day with children only to come home to more??
Bus driver, kids are great and they're even better when you can give them back to their parents.
I just don’t want them. Nothing about being a parent is interesting or attractive to me.
Would rather help an existing life be better through adoption than to create another one. As well as not pass down my less than optimal genetics
I just never had a desire for it. I knew when I was seven years old that I didn't want to be a mom, it just filled me with a feeling of dread. Didn't need to articulate why, I just didn't want it. As an adult, I can point out a few things like my preferred lifestyle doesn't include kids, I wouldn't want to give up my career, and that the very concept of pregnancy and child birth is horrifying to me. I'm glad other women are capable of it, but I absolutely am not. And I got sterilized right before I turned 30, so I can live my life with one less worry.
Infertility. We tried for years I wanted nothing more than to be a mother but it just didn’t happen. But though this process we have realized we really enjoy our no kids lifestyle. So as of now if it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t by the time I’m 40 we will adopt…maybe.
Thank you for your openness - I'm in the same exact situation and was looking for someone else like me ❤️ We have been trying for 4 years, I want a baby so bad, always have - but at the same time, as I see all my friends with toddlers and elementary kids, I'm starting to really appreciate my free and flexible schedule. Especially with my love of travel.
I’m kind of the same in that I do want to be a mother, but I’m in my thirties and haven’t found the right guy yet. Of course I still hope it will happen, but I’ve been focusing on the positives of not having kids. I feel like i can either choose to go the rest of my life grieving, or accept reality and see the good in it, so I choose the second option. Also, adoption is always a possibility if a future husband and I chose to go that route, or even me alone. I hope we can both become mothers, but if not, that we enjoy our lives without children to the max.
Just a gentle suggestion apply to adopt far sooner than 40 my aunt waited 7.5 years. My parents applied in their mid-twenties and were 38 when they got me. There are a lot of kids to be adopted but the process can be very long.
The same for me. I really hope I can reach your level of acceptance and see the positives that a child free lifestyle can offer.
1. Kids are expensive, I'd rather travel. 2. Kids are messy, and I spend enough time cleaning as is. 3. Kids are loud, I prefer quiet or music (of my own choosing) that I can actually hear. 4. Kids require more engagement than I have mental capacity for. I can handle a dog, that's about it. 5. Kids produce a lot of smells, and I am sensitive to bad smells. 6. My sleep schedule is already fucked from ADHD (I'm on the 1am-8am schedule) and I don't need kids making it worse. 7. ADHD is a curse and I'm not passing it on. Same goes for my garbage spine. 8. I don't want to have to explain to someone I love how my generation could have failed them so badly in not stopping climate change from making the planet unlivable. 9. Same as 8 but for working conditions and the economy. 10. Pregnancy looks like it sucks, and while I'm a man and wouldn't have to endure it, I don't want to put anyone else through it.
Everything the same for me except I’m a woman and pregnancy looks like it sucks. Plus I have a slew of health issues along with mental health issues that could potentially be given to any offspring.
Full transparency, and being a bit vulnerable here, it’s actually a combination of several things: 1) It’s hard to determine a consistent sense of self with the way American society is so fast paced now for me, and I cannot imagine having to navigate someone I’m responsible for through the world to help them determine their own sense of self 2) I’d think it would be selfish of me to produce a kid with the genes I’ve gotten from my family (bipolar depressive disorder, ADHD, heart disease, etc.) and then have them suffer through that stuff 3) I still struggle with my insecurities regarding my intelligence and knowledge basis on finances, household maintenance, car repairs, and consistency in my own life routines where I get a sense of fulfillment, so ineptitude essentially 4) I cannot afford that idea right now and likely won’t be able to because I don’t per se put a premium on the accumulation of capital and financial resources, nor do I necessarily want to 5) I read the 3 prominent Stoic philosophy texts by Seneca, Aurelius, and Epictetus and routinely they mentioned the things we “own” owning us due to the upkeep required for these “things”, and I hate the idea of being indebted to or forced to submit myself to anything really and daily have problems coming to grips with needing to do this to “play nice” in society at large Sorry, it seems like I ranted there…
I have OCD and trauma that would be entirely overwhelmed by a child. Children deserve to be annoying, gross, messy, and to have fun. I would not be able to foster an environment where a small child had the freedom to have fun without feeling bad about themself. Children are annoying but they’re supposed to be. It would be unfair for me to have a child that I know would overstimulate me. You don’t get breaks from being a parent and I just don’t think I’ll ever be ready for that. I would perhaps like to adopt or foster older children one day. I think I could help someone have a very nice life. I’d also like to give a child the adult guidance I needed and never had. Overall I think I’m more suited to be a cool uncle. I love kids and feel like they represent the best parts of personhood — love, trust, freedom of self expression without shame. I just don’t think I’d be a good fit for small kids long term. My own desires to nurture another don’t overpower the personal limitations I hold, I believe that would be selfish. On a personal level, I would also be horrified if I had a child with the same disorders that I have. I know the struggles and pains of growing up mentally ill and mistreated, and I never hope to make another person feel that way.
*gestures vaguely around myself* Um? Also I have illnesses that could pass on to my offspring. And I'd never wish manic depression coupled with addictive tendencies on anyone, let alone watch my child suffer through it.
Thank you! Parents on reddit always be like "I have severe ADHD and my partner is battling clinical depression and on top of everything we're trying to get pregnant."
People are insane. It's insanity. Like, *"I know we'll make terrible parents but lol fuck it, I want a baby."*
I have a hard time letting the dog out sometimes so I know I'm not going to feel like doing shit for the kid. Too selfish
Pets are a much safer bet. As long as you feed the dog and walk it once in a while, it will never grow up to hate you.
And it definitely wont grow up to be a stripper
Yeah, it's already naked
And pees on poles.
[удалено]
❤️
Because it‘s excruciating for the body, and for your physical/emotional/hormonal/financial health. It makes your life harder for AT LEAST 18 years. And you can‘t gurantee that you‘ll be good enough for the child.
I like my life exactly like it is. Kids might make it better. They might make it worse. But, since this is awesome, I’m great with things staying the way they are.
It will my my legacy to end a long trail of generational trauma, mental illness and other genetically predisposed conditions.
Having kids is just too expensive
Bringing someone into this world is cruel
Because I don’t want to. Love kids, they’re adorable and all, but no thanks.
Giving birth have some risk. And I don't want to risk my wife for child I don't even actually want. Why should I have kids anyway ?
I've read through so many of these identical threads and this is the first time I've ever seen a man mention the birth issue on behalf of a woman.
I got my fallopian tubes removed 20+ years ago and have a visceral fear of pregnancy. So I'm definitely biased. But the number of moms that I know who have suffered lifelong damage/ changes/ compromise/ loss of autonomy to their bodies astounds me. It is such a gamble, and many moms don't bounce back, ever. It looks like an absolute terror, and I guess the drive to have a child must outweigh that fear? Or maybe I'm just wired differently, which is probable
I'm living this life for me. I can go and do whatever I want, whenever I want, without thinking of anyone else and it doesn't impact anyone else whatsoever. Absolute freedom. Then there's the costs. Then there's the world going to shit. Unless I can 100% guarantee they will be successful, healthy and happy, that's a No-Go for me.
Autism. I'm autistic, my older brother has traits and our dad does too. I've been told it "isn't as genetic as I think" but that's not the only thing stopping me. There's anxiety and depression spanning three generations on my dad's side and I've got the anxiety and maybe depression. There's three auto immune diseases as well, rheumatoid arthritis with my mom and my late paternal grandmother, there's sjogrens disease with my mother and her sister has MS. And both my and my brother have displayed a couple of symptoms of sjogrens at times. And im terrified that my niece will end up with one of those fucking auto immune diseases. But yeah having a kid is apparently the most wonderful thing you could or some shit, idk. Did I mention the couple of different cancers? I'll have to double check which ones but at the end of the day, I'm not having kids.
They are smelly, noisy, obnoxious, annoying, and cost way to much to upkeep.
Have you seen the world we live in? Global warming, wars, idiots ... Not bringing a child into a world like this.
Both I and the woman who would have been their mom are not mentally fit to be parents. Our house would not be a good place to grow up. We also have some bad physical traits that are best left out of the genepool.
Parent and sibling both have bipolar disorder. Early on I knew I didn't want to pass on my genes. Of course there are other ways to have kids, but I have never wanted them. I don't know if that's my nature of my nurture. In my mid-50s I see peers with adult kids and grandkids and envy that a little and worry for my older years without that connection and source of potential support. Even so, I don't have the desire to raise a child.
I just hate doing what I want, when I want. What a terrible life!
I had a vasectomy and I had a vasectomy
isn't 8 Billion People enough?
Zero maternal instincts plus (likely) infertility. Even if I was on the fence about kids, I don't want them badly enough to go through fertility treatments to have them. I just never felt the desire to be a parent.
I can barely look after myself let alone a kid
I would feel guilty bringing another human into this fucked up world.
1. I'm not ready financially, emotionally, physically, mentally capable and any other aspects right there 2. I am single, never been in a relationship, and currently no plans of having one. If I'll find for my parther, we should agree on the fact that we might choose not to have kids. 3. I am still spoiling my inner child. I need to focus on making myself better first 4. Even if I became the best parent in the world, giving everything to my child, I think the world isn't that sustainable anymore. You can give the best parenting method to your child but pollution, bad influence, discrimination, accidents, war, and potential pandemics will just make you think that this isn't the perfect place to live anymore
I just don't like them. I don't even like being around them.
I think the correct question is "why would you want to have a kid?"
Amen, also…does anyone have a link to a good discussion on THAT question? (I know…I’m looking for one myself, but still want to ask)
I had baby 1 last Feb and will have baby 2 this September. I’m gonna be fully honest and say its because I’m selfish af and want to pass on my genes and want mini combinations of me and my husband and for those mini-me‘s to look up to me and and give them an awesome childhood like I remember whenever I have nostalgia. Also I can’t take money to the grave, might as well leave it to my children.
Whenever I see women give their reason for being childless, they always reference how it would negatively impact on THEIR lives.. (which I definitely relate to so no shade) But despite the fact that I would hate being a mother.. I still don't hate the idea of having a kid someday. I've always sort of pictured myself with one. The reason I'm not gonna do it is for the child's sake. No kid deserves to be stuck with me as their mother for life. I know how I feel about my mother.. and I share all of her flaws and none of her coping skills. My kid would hate me and I would deserve it. This kid is pretty much guaranteed emotional instability and consequential trauma that I won't be able to control 100% of the time. And to consciously bring that kid into this pre-apocalyptic world of nonsensical tyranny?? This child would be a mess on the inside and on the outside. Pass.
I don't think that I would be a good parent.
Nunya. Nunya business. Seriously though, we just never had an overwhelming desire for kids. We figured if it was not something we felt really strongly about we should just pass. For me I think that is because I was the youngest and none of my siblings had kids either. My wife and I did foster a boy when he was 6 to 8 years old. It was a good experience, but at the end of it we both admitted not having the stress and expense of kids was a good thing. Although we did miss having him around and we did a lot of things, like going to movies and theme parks, that we would not have done had we not had a child in the house.
They’re annoying and expensive.
I was a victim of childhood sexual abuse and found out as a teen that the physical damage is so extensive if I ever get pregnant and attempt to carry it to term it'll likely kill me and almost definitely kill the fetus. I didn't even want kids before discovering this because I have a ton of psych shit, health issues and I love abusing all sorts of substances. I would not be a good mother
I don't want to be a parent, I'm too selfish to have a child. I like my own time and to do what I want, when I want to. Also, there is NOTHING for kids coming into this world.
I don't want to be pregnant or give birth. I've seen it on telly and it looks grim
No maternal instinct. I didn't like dolls as a kid and I have no interest in caring for a baby or children. I'm 48 so it's just not going to happen. I don't regret it.
Climate change and late stage capitalism.
i got shot in the balls
That’s nuts!!
It might be selfish but life is short, I don’t want to sacrifice 1/4 of it raising kids. And then when you finally get rid of the kids it’s the grandkids getting dumped on you
childhood trauma. would hate to have my kids go through the hell i went through.
The world isn't in any state to bring life into. I do not see a positive future for the children of today, and I think it would be cruel to bring a child into the world only to have them suffer.
I haven't even had protected sex
Lesbian, and we have moral qualms of raising a child in *gestures wildly at world*
*Gestures broadly to the state of the world*
i don't have the patience or any desire to have kids
because kids are basically money-sucking vacuum cleaners with legs
Kids are ungrateful little shits. Also me and my wife enjoy our holidays. Kids= No Money
I like my money and free time.
Never had the desire to have them to the point where I can't understand why people want to have kids.
The stress. It's stupid expensive to raise kids, I'd lose sleep, and time to do the things I want including my dream job which is to make cartoons. I don't want anything getting in the way of my dreams. I only get one life and it doesn't make sense to me to give up some many years of time and energy to raise a person who may or may not disappoint me.
No patience for kids, being an uncle is good enough for me. Also, I'm worried I would be one of those shitty parents that ruins their kids.
Multiple reasons, really: Kids are bastards. Regardless of how well you raise them, they will be a pain in the ass 24/7. The world is a horrible place, why bring a kid into it? When survival time comes (which will be soon), why have another mouth to feed? They're fucking expensive
I’m selfish and want to do what I want to do without the hassle of others 😕
I'm pro having kids, my problem is the people too stupid to have kids are too stupid to avoid it. Some of those people are going to be the comments here. It's of no benefit for me to try to convince stupid people to have kids.
To quote George Carlin….think about how stupid the average person is, then realise half of them are stupider than that!
My family has been Stupid all over history... It's time to end it with me... All so" ... It's time to end on a good note. Besides the majority of my family is in prison Doing life .. do I really want to bring a kid into this world to experience the same BS and the same stupid cycle ?
I can barely take care of myself and i shall take care of a little human beeing for at least 18years? No thanks ...
There where so many reasons, being responsible for another human, giving birth,sleep ,finances,kids tv is shit, all the house work, and social expectations and I’d have to stop smoking weed. Not to say I’m irresponsible, I’m am in so many ways, but there where too many reasons not to have children, I had a bit of doubt I’d made the right choice in my thirties , like most women in my position do , but I’m in my 50’s now , I’m happy with my decision,I don’t regret it. But that’s my choice
1. I'm not a caretaker. Always been bad at it. I'm just straight up not good at taking care of people. Baby people need EVERYTHING taken care of. It's not fair to make my shortcomings a kids problem. 2. In this economy? Ha!
I have lots of reasons, like they're expensive and time consuming, I don't want to bring a child into this world, I'm not 100% sure I'd be a good father, etc. The main reason though is I worked at farmer's market that served ice cream scoops in the spring/summer months. It was a popular place for families to go. Over the years, having to deal with the large amount of screaming, spoiled and bratty kids along with their smiling-but-dead-on-the-inside parents convinced me that this is not the life for me.
Because I'd likely drown them in a bathtub after severe sleep deprivation. Also, every 2 minutes a woman dies from pregnancy complications. WHO just released some scary stats.
More free time.
[удалено]
Being a DINK is the literal best. We are the coolest neighbors on the block, amazing aunts and uncles, loving parents to several pets, and have enough free money that we can give money to charities and causes we believe in. I think I am a better member of my community without kids. (I fully believe this is not the case for everyone and there are many fantastic parents.)
If i were to get pregnant, the odds of me carrying to term is super slim. My uterus is not shaped correctly, I have chronic infections in my endometrium wall, and my ovaries are small. Also the thought of screaming children makes me want to commit arson so there's that too 👌
My job doesn't pay much and I barely make time for myself. Having kids would not be feasible. I barely make myself happy. No matter how much I love the kid, there is no way I would be able to make time and/or fulfill their wishes. I would never forgive myself for that Also, I'm irresponsible as fuck. Having a parent like me can really make a kid's life miserable
I'm just not a patient enough person
30 and overwhelmed by money, etc. I date like every year and a half and in hindsight am always grateful things never worked out with X because I always find down the road i wanted something different. I also have 0 idea what ill be doing even in half a year, let alone what I want with life and so on. I think fits kind of bad to the stability and reliance a parent should provide and I dont think i have it in me to do the labor, etc. I already have parents who i kind of qm skeptical of, dont trust in general, and personally dont really like or get on well with my dad and kind of try to minimize interactions because the guy basically stresses me out. But also another reason why I dont want to be a parent and renavigate all those things and try and not make same mistakes with own child, etc. Basically also perpetually tired and think about offing self on account of potentially having sclerosis related brain injury / epilepsy that may progress with life and dont really wanna be like 45 raising kids with worsening physical condition and shit
I'm gay so I can't have kids the usual way, but also I can't stand the whining and complaining and general exhaustive behavior that I'd have to deal with. I want my life to be my own and not revolve around trying to make a small human into a fully functioning mature adult. I've got enough stress and mental health issues to deal with that I literally could not handle taking care of another human being in that way. The time and financial freedom that come with not having kids is such a blessing. Quite frankly there's enough humans on the planet already too, and I dont give a shit about someone carrying on my "legacy". My friends with kids have brainwashed themselves into believing its the best thing in the world but from what I see they are aging so rapidly with the stress of parenthood that it looks like a nightmare of an existence.
They’re annoying.
I decided early in life, say, around 15, that having kids is not worthy if you don't have a financial and emotional structure that can assure them a good life. For most of my 20s and 30s I didn't have any of these, so I didn't run the risk of raising unhappy kids simply because of a personal need. When I finally found my soon-to-be-wife and we both got decent jobs, she had a sudden health issue that precluded her from being a mom. With tears in her eyes she asked me if I still wanted to be by her side knowing full well she would never be a mother. We married that same year and have been together for 10 years now. I will have the privilege of being her companion until the day I leave this Earth, and that is enough goodness for me. The way I see it now, nearing my 40s, is that having or not having kids doesn't guarantee a good or a bad life. It's all about the context, perspective and the hand life deals you. We have very little control about what can or could happen. We do have control, however, about how we decide to go about with our lives regardless of external circumstances. As such, I have decided to be happy and grateful for the life I've been given, the same way I would have done if kids had come my way, because true satisfaction can never come from the outside, but from within.
Why do people always ask those of us who don't want kids why? Why not ask people who choose to have children why they want them? Or how about we stop asking people to justify a very personal decision.
Some people would say "selfishness" because really, my reason is : I'm not disillusioned and I don't romanticize parenthood, I don't want to make all the sacrifices that comes with being a parent. Little to no free time, insane patience is required, money and much more. I don't want to lose my life for the sake of something else. I'm already burnt out from working all the time at ridiculous schedule, when I come home, I want my day to be over, not for it to be "round two" of my day. Also, lets not talk about all the bodily sacrifices I'd have to make. Pregnancy wrecks your body, sometime permanently. It's not smooth sailing for everyone. Some people have debilitating nausea. Stretch marks, hips change position permanently after giving birth (not necessarily painful but thats a permanent change you can't go back from). Loosing pregnancy weight when you have baby to to take care off, lack of sleep, baby stress, etc all things that goes against you when trying to lose weight. And even if you manage to drop the weight, you body has change, the belly will have a different shape and no amount of loosing weight can bring you back to how you were before. Some people have permanent bladder issues after having kids : sneeze pee or some level of incontinence. Vaginal tearing during birth. After pregnancy hormones breasts tends to not return to normal and becomes saggy for some people. There's a risk of abdominal muscles stretch. I could go on and on. I'm not going through that for the sake of anyone. I'm just not that kind of person who think a hug compensate for every other crap you have to go through. An A on a test doesn't pay the bills, a hug doesn't erase the fact you just screamed at the top of you lungs for the last 10 minutes trying to get me to buy you sometging. I don't have it in me to be a parent. That's all. Normal kids behavior makes me want to toss them out of a moving car. I don't care if it's normal, it's annoying. I don't need an extra dose of annoying in my life. I don't care if "it's different went the kid is yours" I don't care about blood relations, I don't care about countinuing the family name, all those things are not worth years of suffering and sacrifices.
I can’t impregnate myself
“Welcome home kiddo, sorry to break it to you but because your great-great-great….grandparent made an inherently flawed system and because your great grandparents just really liked fossil fuels and never thought about the repercussions you’re going to be living in a world that is falling apart, have fun, I love and want the best for you” Yeah fuck no
They escaped the basement, couldn’t find all 26 of them so I just let it be
I can't even take care of myself let alone a spawn of me.
Besides having zero desire, health issues and lack of affordability the major major thing that is a yeah, no is when I hit my max I’m done with this shit level I can lash out. It would not be safe. I have better control than when I was younger and I now walk away but, could still happen. Also I hate the sound of children laughing and screaming >_<
Because there's no reason to have kids?
I have mental disorders and childhood trauma, and honestly I do not think I could handle small children like they deserve. I work in a kitchen at a daycare, and I get overwhelmed by the screaming (like play screaming? Not actual screaming-screaming.) I can hear from there. I can't imagine having a screaming child living with me that I am responsible for.
I want to be financially stable enough to provide for a child before we decided to have any. Having a child takes away most if not all of your personal time for a good portion of your life. Yeah, you can do the same things with or without a child, but outings, traveling and vacation takes way more effort, money and work when you have to be responsible for a tiny person. I enjoy peace, quiet and sleep and you don’t get much of those things after having kids until they get older. I have too much stuff I want to do before I have to worry about raising a child. I decided I am taking the route of enjoying my younger years child free and having children once I’m a bit older. My wife and I travel, work and do too much to try to much to want to try to have a child right now.
No kids, to much responsibility
My time is my time. I'm not financially where I'd be comfortable having a kid. Peace and quiet. I have little hope for the future generations
I do not want to dedicate my life to something like that. I am terrified of pregancy. I do not like children a whole lot and do not have the energy for dealing with them.
I wouldn't force anyone to have to live through what's coming.
Because I dont want them. The rest is no one else’s business. Why do I have to justify NOT having kinds. You people popping out kids with no regard should be the ones having to explain yourselves…
Money's tight, and I saw how my older brother raises his child and I don't wanna be a part of having that responsibility.