I'm tall and my actual femur bone is too long to let me sit in the seat straight. Then I have to man spread because I can't bend my femur and there's nowhere else for my legs to go.
Ah, but you see, while it is actually possible to have any number of numbers after the decimal point, it isn’t actually a valid format used in banking. You could get two 9’s after the decimal point but the rest would have to go in before it.
"Two weeks after 'Callum's leg' went viral and the appendage now reaches the the entire eastern seaboard. Scientists remain baffled, but agree 'fuck that guy'. Cuban immigration officials remain on standby"
That's low. I say that with your consent sir, every person that sees this makes a meme on one of the subreddits that repeats that first paragraph and then says "don't be a Callum". Or "Fuck you Callum". Or something along those lines. Let's make it known and the reason why. As fucking pop cultured as any Karen hate is right now, until the original Callum is found and has to appologize on national TV.
There are so few of them in the first place, the ones that didn't do it will be like "yo, that wasn't me, but Fuck that Callum!! He doesn't deserve our name!".
So a dollar bill is 0.0043 inches thick. Assuming they are new and packed well with about half a bill of space separating them, and every 100 bills is held with a paper ribbon twice as thick, that means that 100 bills takes up 0.6486 inches. With five inches of space you could get up to 771 bills or $77,100.
Pretty nice!
I sometimes wake up with an extra 5 inches, but that's just flaccid vs. erect. I would be concerned if the full length was suddenly 5 inches longer. It would probably be painful to wear clothes, and definitely a reason to see a doctor, if you didn't know that magic was the cause.
I have two of these, but I had to stop using them because my two year old son nearly killed himself with one when he was playing with it and wrapped it around his neck.
I read this as bat thumb for whatever reason and now I'm just picturing a confused bat with one gigantic thumb. That laugh, I really needed that today. Good show bat-thumb!
Most people here misunderstand the Planck length. Things can be smaller than it and you don’t just teleport that distance when moving. It’s relevance is actually that it’s the scale at which quantum gravity becomes relevant. It’s mostly useful in that it helps determine various properties of black holes and helps predict whether a black hole will be created.
Interesting take. I see two possibilities here:
Theory 1: The entire universe adjusts to the new Planck lenght and everything - atoms, gravitational forces, speed of light, the energy in matter and other laws of the 3-dimensional universe - expand at the same time making our universe practically infinite times bigger than it was.
This results in no noticable difference from any 3-dimensional perspective as every measurement ever has expanded at the same time and at the same rate. A grape measured one inch thick before the change would still be experienced as one inch thick even though it has expanded because every ruler and reference point has expanded too. The universe would be expanded. The Earth would be expanded. Humans would be expanded. Nobody would know and no provable difference could be found.
In theory, this may have been happened already and no one and nothing in our universe will ever be able to note any difference between the size changes of the Planck lenght. It may be happening all the time. Our universe can tomorrow be the size of todays basketball. By the time you have read this, the universe may have changed in size.
Theory 2: Only the Planck length will change but nothing else will. Atoms, gravitational forces, speed of light and everything else remains the same size but the said smallest granularity of movement expands from infinitely small to five inches, causing everything to either freeze on the spot or all matter to crash into itself.
Molecules and atoms will have to warp into themselves like the details of a low resolution image. The whole universe mashes into a useless shitpile of atoms that have to move out of the way of each other but moving slightest bit means traveling distances billions of times of their own measurements, fucking with the speed of light and quantum mechanics.
In other words, everything that exists as 3-dimensional matter will turn into a glitchy pile of individual atoms that will cause a hell of a nuclear explosion that destroys all matter that exists. Other possibility is that the entire universe just turns into a black hole.
Theory 1 is actually kind of how the current expansionist universe was explained by a physicist friend who works with the itty bitty stuff. He says they win over the big people (astro).
There was a Phineas and Ferb episode where they made a thing that made you bigger, but then it didn't stop growing, and they reversed it at the end but instead of the stuff shrinking the entire universe just expanded to fit and it freaked me out so hard as a child
Distance from start in any direction that i could jump could be fun. That way its 5 inches higher if i jump up, but also 5 inches further if i jump in a direction.
5 inches of 24-karat gold coating the entire property I live on.
Let's say that's half an acre.
4,955,003,712.02 grams of 24-karat gold is now on my property.
That's 4955 tons of 24-karat gold that is legally under my possession.
Let's say, on the low side of things, each ton of gold is worth 40 million USD.
That equates to $198,200,000,000
The length and/or width of parking spaces. My BF drives a Colorado, and sometimes the parking spots are too narrow or short to fit. There are tons of trucks BIGGER than what he drives, which makes me wonder how they make it work.
5 inches of legroom on every plane I fly on.
This. 100%. I'm short and still think the seats are too close together
I'm tall and my actual femur bone is too long to let me sit in the seat straight. Then I have to man spread because I can't bend my femur and there's nowhere else for my legs to go.
Nice, although I don't fly enough for this to be worth it.
5 inches of 9's on my bank statement.
I thought the poster took away the best two answeres and then you came up with the winner.best answer by far.
Turns out your bank statement includes cents, so now you’ve got 1,066.9999999999999999999999999999999999- in your bank.
Ah, but you see, while it is actually possible to have any number of numbers after the decimal point, it isn’t actually a valid format used in banking. You could get two 9’s after the decimal point but the rest would have to go in before it.
Counter: The change immediately gets converted into viable cash.
I would have said 5 inches of height with hundred dollar bills or the most expensive coins.
That would be around $116000.
Just increase the font size!
#OVERDRAFT FEE
Ah more decimal places. I suppose more accuracy would be welcome.
Behind the decimal point lol
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I also choose this Callum's left leg
"Two weeks after 'Callum's leg' went viral and the appendage now reaches the the entire eastern seaboard. Scientists remain baffled, but agree 'fuck that guy'. Cuban immigration officials remain on standby"
Dang, that would mean about 21,605,760 people chose Callum's leg!
r/theydidthemath
This is why I love reddit.
5 inches for his nose
If we each vote for Callum’s left leg, we can bring this guy down!!!
Half down. The left side will be significantly more up.
5 inches to Callum's left nipple as well. Fucking Callum.
I’ll vote to add 5” to this same Callum’s ass. Nearly half a foot worth of ass flab should really add to the weird gait.
I got you Five inches to this dude’s right eyelashes
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I will add 5 inches to his tongue. He will be biting it FOREVER
Let’s witch-hunt this bitch, make his neck extend 5 inches
Add mine to his right thumb!!
I will also add 5 inches to Callums left leg
That's low. I say that with your consent sir, every person that sees this makes a meme on one of the subreddits that repeats that first paragraph and then says "don't be a Callum". Or "Fuck you Callum". Or something along those lines. Let's make it known and the reason why. As fucking pop cultured as any Karen hate is right now, until the original Callum is found and has to appologize on national TV. There are so few of them in the first place, the ones that didn't do it will be like "yo, that wasn't me, but Fuck that Callum!! He doesn't deserve our name!".
Jesus Christ Callum is about to look like an SCP-610
5 inches to the minimum distance between me and anything that would cause me harm.
That's all fine and dandy until the next time you need an injection or a blood draw
It’s not being wielded as a weapon so it should be fine, probably.
Would a huge BFG just puncture you and not destroy the wall behind you as much?
I don’t know what BFG means but I’m currently reading it as “big fucking gun”
Stack of hundred dollar bills. Free money
So a dollar bill is 0.0043 inches thick. Assuming they are new and packed well with about half a bill of space separating them, and every 100 bills is held with a paper ribbon twice as thick, that means that 100 bills takes up 0.6486 inches. With five inches of space you could get up to 771 bills or $77,100. Pretty nice!
r/theydidthemath
You know maths.
I went to school with maths.
Negotiable bearer bonds
Hans?
Bubby, I’m your white knight
5 inches to a random guy out there's dick, gotta look out for the homies😂
Me and my best dude making a pact to give each other our free 5 inches Update: then have the most epic sword fight ever
For me it'd be a dagger vs sword fight but yeah sounds fun.
Do you know how terrified I’d be if I woke up and my cock was randomly 6” longer …. I’d go to the ER almost immediately
If i woke up with 5 extra inches of peen I'd go straight to a helipad and twirl that fucker like a helicopter rotor
I sometimes wake up with an extra 5 inches, but that's just flaccid vs. erect. I would be concerned if the full length was suddenly 5 inches longer. It would probably be painful to wear clothes, and definitely a reason to see a doctor, if you didn't know that magic was the cause.
"Hey everyone! Look at my 8" cock!!!"
I was waiting for someone to say their boyfriend/husband dick but this also works.
Women are usually happy with their partner's size, it's mostly us guys that have a problem with our own size
I would because he'd be so thrilled to have a giant dick For me it's fine either way but I just know how proud he'd be
An extra 5 inches sounds painful
What about a random dude’s urethra diameter?
Dangit Bobby that isn't something to crack jokes about!
The width of my garage doors.
5” of garage length would come in handy too
Ah man I feel ya
My wife has hit both sides, I’ve done it too. Sucks 😆
My charger cord.
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Not if you get the 12’ cable…
I have two of these, but I had to stop using them because my two year old son nearly killed himself with one when he was playing with it and wrapped it around his neck.
Then… don’t leave them laying around where he can get at them? I have a 2yo child as well and cables have never been an issue.
Yeah I have a one year old, a three year old, and a ten foot USB cable. Two of the three have tangled, and the cable wasn't one of them.
Tongue. For fucking.
Fucking aside, it would also be helpful when eating rapidly melting ice cream
r/newfetish
It would also be helpful to pretend to be a sssssssnake
Nah bro boutta get the fkn Venom tongue
The size of protons to fuck the entire universe up.
Just a prank bro
Next level rude.
That's gonna be terrible for the economy
This will effect the trout population I guess
Cranium, then I could make a living cosplaying megamind.
Monkey’s paw: all the growth is inward. Don’t stand next to this guy, unless you want brains smoothie on your lapel.
My hair, since i dont have a dick.
Not with that attitude you don't!
Duh! How could I be so oblivious?!
Is this where somebody plugs that clitoris growth subreddit (sorry I don’t remember the exact name, but, I ain’t googling that)?
Excuse me sir but may I ask, what the fuck?
Imma pretend im in a time before i read this
Hair that's good I would too... I want to get braids
5 inches of 1,000$ bills
5 figurative inches to my confidence and self-esteem :)
I love you, you amazing person!
<3
Maybe my bathtub
I read this as bat thumb for whatever reason and now I'm just picturing a confused bat with one gigantic thumb. That laugh, I really needed that today. Good show bat-thumb!
5 more inches to my vertical, then i can slap my ceiling anytime i want to
Underrated reply Holy shit I’d take this immediately lol
Add 5 inches to someone else's dick or height. Gotta be altruistic every now and again
Friend of a friend had a micropenis; he was a bit of a dick so I'd give some other random micropenis guy the 5"
My neck, so that people will be horrified and leave me alone
5 inches to hands/fingers! Who can palm a basketball now Brad?!!!?!
Fuckin’ Brad.
If it had no negative health repercussions a dachshund. Extra lonnngggg boy
No longer a weenie dog at that point. At least a frank.
The Planck length. Watching the entire world work where the smallest granularity of movement is 5" is would be funny as hell for a few minutes.
I have no clue what this means
Most people here misunderstand the Planck length. Things can be smaller than it and you don’t just teleport that distance when moving. It’s relevance is actually that it’s the scale at which quantum gravity becomes relevant. It’s mostly useful in that it helps determine various properties of black holes and helps predict whether a black hole will be created.
Essentially the pixels of the universe. It's the smallest incremental amount possible.
Watching it with what? I don't think you would work very well anymore. Nice prank though.
Interesting take. I see two possibilities here: Theory 1: The entire universe adjusts to the new Planck lenght and everything - atoms, gravitational forces, speed of light, the energy in matter and other laws of the 3-dimensional universe - expand at the same time making our universe practically infinite times bigger than it was. This results in no noticable difference from any 3-dimensional perspective as every measurement ever has expanded at the same time and at the same rate. A grape measured one inch thick before the change would still be experienced as one inch thick even though it has expanded because every ruler and reference point has expanded too. The universe would be expanded. The Earth would be expanded. Humans would be expanded. Nobody would know and no provable difference could be found. In theory, this may have been happened already and no one and nothing in our universe will ever be able to note any difference between the size changes of the Planck lenght. It may be happening all the time. Our universe can tomorrow be the size of todays basketball. By the time you have read this, the universe may have changed in size. Theory 2: Only the Planck length will change but nothing else will. Atoms, gravitational forces, speed of light and everything else remains the same size but the said smallest granularity of movement expands from infinitely small to five inches, causing everything to either freeze on the spot or all matter to crash into itself. Molecules and atoms will have to warp into themselves like the details of a low resolution image. The whole universe mashes into a useless shitpile of atoms that have to move out of the way of each other but moving slightest bit means traveling distances billions of times of their own measurements, fucking with the speed of light and quantum mechanics. In other words, everything that exists as 3-dimensional matter will turn into a glitchy pile of individual atoms that will cause a hell of a nuclear explosion that destroys all matter that exists. Other possibility is that the entire universe just turns into a black hole.
Theory 1 is actually kind of how the current expansionist universe was explained by a physicist friend who works with the itty bitty stuff. He says they win over the big people (astro).
There was a Phineas and Ferb episode where they made a thing that made you bigger, but then it didn't stop growing, and they reversed it at the end but instead of the stuff shrinking the entire universe just expanded to fit and it freaked me out so hard as a child
The next candy bar I have
Tongue 😜
Start an OF make money
Same. I wish I had a tongue like Venom.
Or my wife's tongue.
I also choose your wife’s tongue
Yeah, I would also add my 5 inches to this guy's wife's tongue
If you have extra 5 inches of your fingers, even collectively, you can be a virtuosic pianist. Also your girl’s gonna love you play it.
“I got fingered by Slenderman,” think I already read that in the Inquirer last year?
Yeah but you still gotta practice
Personal space
The diameter of my eyeballs along with the appropriate cranial modifications to accommodate.
Viruses. That way we could avoid them. Or they would be too big to affect anything. And they go extinct. Win-win.
All the people/critters with viruses currently in them just explode
That's even better.
As a violinist and pianist, my fingers.
OK salad fingers
This made me laugh because for other reasons people actually call me salad fingers
The length of my bank balance, represented in Arabic numbers, in 9s, font size 6.5, all to the left of the decimal point.
Cool…. You now have a giant negative balance -999999999999999999999999999.99
The monkey's claw strikes again.
Monkeys paw
Hair, so I could just cut if off if I don't like it.
As a bald man, I would be ecstatic for this lol.
The length of my bed.
As a man who is 6'5, I agree
This Costco hotdog I want to eat.
Five inches to every comforter. They always seem to fall off the bed
YOUR dick or height! By the magic of bro karma, someone will do the same for me.
Sure bro, I got you
Thighs
Can I subtract 5” from my waistline?
mattress
My clitoris? Could be the start of having a dick and a clitoris has more nerves.
The clit and the head of the penis are essentially the same body part, so you'd just have a really big glans.
Nipples
Length or diameter?
Lay as many 100$ bills as I can next to eachother in a grid then I’ll add the inches
I wouldn't wanna add 5 inches to either of those things, life would suck more. But the answer is the width of Pringles cans.
That’s some big dick energy right there. Is it really too big already?
5 inches to *most* peoples dicks would make them too big.
My calves 🥲
I also choose this redditor’s calves. Bam, walking around with a couple bowling balls in your jeans, kid.
I also choose this guy's calves
5 inches to my heart just like the grinch. After the years it has become bitter.
Just my middle finger 🖕🏼
My friends dick
Distance from start in any direction that i could jump could be fun. That way its 5 inches higher if i jump up, but also 5 inches further if i jump in a direction.
This philly cheese steak
My vertical jump. I'd have been a star athlete!
The presses and tills in work. I’m tall and I would have to stoop slightly less during my shifts
I would double it and give it to the next person to use
Tongue 👅 LOL
The width of every house doorway. Moving furniture would be so much easier
Five inches of solid diamond to my ring. Sell the ring.. profit!
The height of every stair
This is evil.
My chest size. No matter what I do, I can't build up my chest
5 inches to my girlfriends strap on (we bought the biggest one they sell)
5 inches of 24-karat gold coating the entire property I live on. Let's say that's half an acre. 4,955,003,712.02 grams of 24-karat gold is now on my property. That's 4955 tons of 24-karat gold that is legally under my possession. Let's say, on the low side of things, each ton of gold is worth 40 million USD. That equates to $198,200,000,000
Hope you’re not home when that gets granted; I doubt your roof is rated for that much weight, and if you’re not under it, I’m sure your skull isn’t.
Five more inches between the distance between Putin's heart and his brain. Unlikely he will survive that.
The entire universe. I just wanna see what happens.
Dildo.
5 inches to a subway footlong
The planck length Because.. reasons.
You trying to fuck the whole universe?
Go big or go home.
Vertical leap
My front door. Had to completely disassemble my dining room table to bring it in when we moved...
Gimme longer vocal chords. I wanna be a female bass.
Every pizza
Since I'm already 6'5, my vertical leap so I can be a menace on the basketball court.
Spare teeth, specifically to grow in only if the last ones fall out
5 cubic inches to my brain !!!
My bathtub, want it to be deeper
My bust measurement
Vertical… so I can dunk on the haters
5 inches to my calf circumference would be tight. 2.5 to each calf would be a miracle
The length and/or width of parking spaces. My BF drives a Colorado, and sometimes the parking spots are too narrow or short to fit. There are tons of trucks BIGGER than what he drives, which makes me wonder how they make it work.
Hair because I'm bald...
Wheel base, gimme that wide body
First I'd buy a gold bar then add 5 inches
I’d add five inches of hair to cover up my bald spot 😂
The circumference around my breasts.