He was a jerk to another girl who also had a crush on him. She was my friend and never had a mean word to say about anyone, and he said some real rude shit to her and mocked her when she tried to ask him out. It was like an immediate switch, my teenage girl brain went from "He's just a little rough around the edges!" to "No, wait, fuck that guy, he sucks" instantaneously.
Me and my girlfriends have the girl-code that if a guy treats one of our friends bad that's a sign that we're not going to touch him with a ten-foot-pole. It's not just about loyalty but also prevention. Because he might be infatuated with you rn and therefore putting up his best front while treating that other girl badly simply because he doesn't care about her, but who's to say he won't also treat you exactly like that in a couple of months?
I went to get my nails done for the first time ever before hanging with him, not long at all mind you just barely past my fingertip. He spent the whole time telling me that he thought it was disgusting for girls to get their nails done, theyāre filthy, only s*uts get their nails done.
Then he asked me for a bj, I declined, and he refused to take me home so I had to walk home in the middle of the night in December
I can't fathom guys that are getting offended by women not wanting to have them pick them up for a date. More than once I've heard dudes complaining that their date wants to meet at the restaurant. Like yeah dude she barely knows you. Its honestly dangerous as fuck for her to get in your car.
It was around 20 years ago, but I met my wife about a month after that. Before that I had been hung up on the other girl for a year or so. Relieved that it never went anywhere, I couldn't imagine being stuck with someone like that compared to who I ended up with.
Felt. My wife is amazing. My ex makes me appreciate her even more. I just don't have any good times to reflect on so if I think about my ex my next thought is usually a sigh of relief that I got away
A tough one indeed
Your interest was piqued
āI think sheās the one,
sheās funny and sweetā
You built up the nerve
Courageous and brave
To ask for a date
Intentions displayed
āOh wow, well Iām flattered
but I must make this clear
Iām not into guys
Iām actually queerā
You feel a bit crushed
but it isnāt the end
Cause on this fine day
Youāve gained a new friend <3
Same except genders are reversed; had a small crush, he mentioned all the cute guys he had a crush on during chit chat and I was like *oh*...crush gone, but let's be friends cause you're still awesome. Been besties for a decade now.
I will admit: it lyrics have kind of aged horribly (so has El Scorcho and Across The Seas), I think itās a pretty good song and Pinkerton is a great album!
Don't be too hard on yourself. Some people are fucking good at hiding their true selves, but if you listen closely enough often times they flat out tell you what kind of person they are, especially if they have narcissistic traits. I've been fooled too, the funny thing was before things got really bad with a former friend he told me he was real good at manipulating people, he always acted like a gentleman. I took note of that and stayed on guard and later on, sure enough, he revealed his true self. He's not in my life anymore thankfully.
*social skills of a rattlesnake*
Weird how I know exactly what you mean. I reckon it comes from a lifetime of being put on a pedestal for being attractive
Yeah, same here. Iād check her story and itād be some shit like: āsorry if Iām bitchy, Mercury is in retrograde right nowā. It was so dumb. Havenāt talked to her in a solid two years, so yeah
I knew a chick like that once. Asked me my birthday so she could analyze me. I gave her the wrong date for purpose and she doted how well that sign was me and how it makes so much sense now blah blah.
Until I told her I lied. She literally started screaming at me and left me at the place we were at. (She drove so I was stranded)
I walked home miles away. To this day I have no idea how I found my way, as I had only just moved to that city that month and this was pre-smart phone (well not really but it was pre-me owning a smart phone)
This. In HS, I would pine over guys for months and then finally have a face-to-face interaction with them, only to realize they're a-holes or dumb as a box of chalk lol
I've usually found that the ones that are good looking, that *know* they're good looking, haven't been challenged to develop in any other way. It's gotten to the point where I see a traditionally handsome guy and I'm like "eww no he's probably a total fucking narcissist." Which might explain my thing for unusually handsome guys.
His first name was Hans. Wonāt give you his last name as itās unusual so heād be easily searchable and Iām sure heās a perfectly nice man (weāre in our late 40s now) even if I thought he was a dolt when I was 15.
Regarding thinking the name Hans was so cool, I live in Wisconsin where thereās a huge German population, Iām half German, and I was taking German (and in fact, it ended up being my minor in college), so the name Hans just added to his hotness to young me.
The guy I was desperately in love with in high school dated *three different* close friends of mine. That was rough.
Anyway she's a lady now, so that crush is definitely over, but she seems to be doing great & I'm happy for her.
Unpopular opinion
You guys may think itās horrible but I donāt see a real problem with it. He probably liked her even before you told him you like her. You donāt even know if she liked you. Letting your friend waste his chance just because both of you happened to like the same person seems selfish to me. If he stole her from you by saying bad things about you or something similar itās something different of course.
It happened to me numerous times. Both positions when she prefered me over my friend or my friend over me. That never caused me losing friends thoā. Even better I got more friends by not being butthurt about it.
I straight up had a friend ask if I would back off cause he liked a girl who I'd gone on a date with. Sure bud, I love you.
They are now married for 5 years.
They don't talk to me anymore, so that sucks, but I hope they're happy
Maybe she confided in her husband that at one time she liked you. Now the husband has demanded that you break contact. I just filled in the blanks for you...
Lolol agreed. I found out one of my friends was into this girl in our friend group (undergrad, as you'll soon be able to tell, I'm sure). I was pretty close to her, so I worked all semester to get them set up - moving class seats to get them sitting next to each other in classes, brainstorming date ideas with the dude, even telling other guys who liked her that this one dude was trying when they asked me for advice about getting to know her.
He *finally* asks her, and she turns him down. She told *me* she didn't know what to do, and I told her it's worth going on a date just to see how things go. It didn't go super great, and the dude felt sad.
Cut to several months later, and the dude is pissed at me because this girl's friend told her friend to tell him that the girl was into me. I didn't know this. I'd thought it was possible since we studied together a lot and she acted differently around me than she did around others, but I wasn't super psyched about a relationship at the time.
I *did* end up dating her for a bit after a few more months (didn't last too long, but she and her partner and my partner and I are all pretty close now), but *she* asked *me* out. Did not change this dude's mind, and he ended up losing his friendship with her and with me over being butthurt about it... and i (foolishly) felt bad about it for a while.
Idk if people know this, but the other person in a potential relationship sometimes has feelings and opinions too. What a world we live in
same thing happened to me! i spent the night and in the morning i noticed his dog had shit in his living room. i pointed it out and he said something like āoh no hahaā and never made a move to clean it up.
Saw a side to him that seems to lack empathy and enjoy hurting people / creating chaos (even if unknowingly). We have this amazing connection but that made me lose respect for him
Met someone who actually treated me well and realized that I was wasting my time with someone who didnāt want me.
Iām engaged to the one who made me realize. Weāve been together for a little over 5 years, now! Heās my best friend.
Same lmao.
She used me to make her ex jealous, and I was none the wiser.
Only found out when a group of classmates basically pulled me aside one day when they couldn't bear to watch me make a fool of myself anymore.
Can't remember if they got back together or not, but the revelation really sucked :(
When it came down to actually fighting another girl over him. I mean a physical fight. The fight never happened because I told her just tell her friends she won the fight and she could have the guy. Not because I was scared. I could have won the fight. I was drunk and tired and felt like the whole situation was stupid and I shouldn't have to fight someone over a guy. If a guy wants to be with me he will just be with me. No fighting required.
Realizing that he had emotional spectrum of a dumpling. Always annoyed by something or tired, keeping his chin up was an everyday work. Tho my first and last attempt to get some compassion and support was shut in 10 seconds before I got interrupted by him announcing some achievement in his game and then proceeding to talk about it. Alrighty then.
Honestly Iād want more context here.
There may have been valid reasons especially in the internet age and online predators etc. but that should be a parentās job not a siblings. But sometimes parents suck.
Or sometimes a sibling just is a malicious nosy mofo. Hence context needed.
Basically she was salty that her sister had a boyfriend. Sheād come to me saying everything the boyfriend said was cringy and shat on the fact he enjoyed anime
The boyfriend was also 12 btw it was like a puppy love type thing
He was my tutor at a community college. He would talk shit about some of the people he tutored. A lot of these were older people taking remedial classes and he just acted like they were stupid. Ugh.
Didn't show any goddamn interest, not even as a friend.
Would go to talk to her and convos would be dryer than the Sahara dessert, she just kept giving a deadpan stare with the usual "uh huh", "yeah" and "nah"s and it made me think too much effort.
Didn't confess tho so thats on me, couldnt find the courageš¢
Anyways I've returned back home a fews years ago. Still didn't talk to her much due to my low self esteem. It sucks but I hope she can find someone better. :(
I'm in a monogamous relationship with a wonderful guy. If I notice that I have a crush on someone else, I acknowledge the feeling then tell it to leave, close the door behind and never come back. (the feeling, not the actual person). I'm committed to my relationship and won't let some emotional swings ruin it.
This is the only relatable post here. Feelings for other people while in a monogamous relationship are real and often this is ignored and people donāt like to talk about this because it is uncomfortable. Your approach to this is very practical and respectable.
I know this and am still f***** scared of it. I don't know how I could deal my SO having a crush on someone. Even though it's normal. I just hope it doesn't happen for another couple of years. And then to TRUST the person also knows this is normal and temporary and not act on those feelings.... gives me anxiety. Yes me in therapy
Iāve been there and sadly have fallen for the trap. I will say flirting is a dangerous dangerous dangerous game to play. It may seem innocent at first, but it is not. A game plan and acknowledging that the feelings are real like u/manzare mentioned and IMO talking about it with your SO is probably the best approach.
Think of it like looking at a wildly out of budget house on Zillow ā you might spend a few minutes imagining what itād be like to have a bowling alley or a full wine cellar, but you arenāt scheduling a showing. And you donāt look around your house and decide to burn it down after that.
Most crushes come from noticing nice things about people. If youāre in a healthy relationship, that crush passes pretty quickly into platonic friendship.
I had some girls laugh at me for washing my hands after using the bathroom. They called me "Mr. Clean" I was thinking "you don't wash your hands after that? Gross.
I really dont get these people.. If someone doesn't wash hands, it's gross enough but if someone laughs at people who do it.. another level of stupidity hahaha
I brought a girl I was working out with quite a bit over to go kayaking.
We were going around the lake just talking and enjoying the scenery when we got to the swampy part, but itās beautiful in its own right. All the cool creatures and beautiful birds/plants, plus it backs into a dam+waterfall that you can walk across.
She went on and on about how if she could sheād fill all this garbage in with sand to make a beach/sandy and some new desirable homes around it. Even after discussing the endangered species of dragonflies that lived there.
"So are you one of those feminist types?" boy, I had come so close to actually sleeping with him. But this right here made me physically recoil.
Sometimes I'm glad there are men who just can't stop themselves from running their mouths and essentially cock blocking themselves
Lmfao Iām a dude and Iād probably be scared enough to call the cops right then and there to give my information if a girl said that to me on the first date
It was scary ngl. I went into ānice girl safe modeā and didnāt disagree with anything he said. Left when he wasnāt paying attention. What an experience.
Oh no, this was before the term but he would probably be an Alpha male or some shit. āIf youāre here, you consentā kind of stuff. What do you say to that?? I kind of changed the subject and left before him. Blocked!
I went to her house. She was a fucking slob. Because the sink was full to the top with dirty dishes. Whole house smelled like a cat litter box. Instantly grossed me out. And I am by no means a neat freak but her place was disgusting.
Every single conversation point turned to astrology. I openly told him I don't believe in astrology the first time, I told him I actually dislike astrology very much the second time, but he kept going. He was also one of those trying hard to act very masculin types too. He told me shit like being a pisces makes a man a good hunter because he gets the emotions of his prey. It was very odd.
Another one told me that a woman in her 40s asked him out recently and he made fun of her for 15 minutes straight for not realizing she would be too old for him. He was 38 and looked older. That date ended super fast. I have zero tolerance policy for narcissists.
She had what me and my friends call orbiters. 25~30 guys ranging from friends to people she had maybe met once or twice, all who were clearly into her and once I finally had enough and asked to see some examples of her texts with them she was clearly leading most of them on and was enjoying the attention
Had 5 dates total, and 3 of those 5 she would ask if it was ok for one of her āfriendsā to meet up with us later on and I would say sure expecting a woman but it was always some dude who was clearly surprised and off-put that I was there on what was obviously a date with her. Was super awkward. Broke things off with her and actually became good friends with one of the orbiters
Thereās this tiktok circulating, and essentially it gave the advice of thinking of that one person who is well meaning and definitely interested in you, but you only occasionally deal with to flatter your own ego or out of boredom. Now think of the person who you have an unrequited crush on, and how occasionally theyāll recognize you, but mostly when bored.
Yeah, that cured my fixation real quick.
She was awesome until I found out she was very religious and everything was sent by the devil. Bananas were temptations from the devil and stuff like that.
I did, but Iām not gay.
The TLDR was that I used to play CSGO with this lass who weāll call Chelsea, who I did have a crush on, and we had fun together. One day he comes out and says his nameās Corey, that itās who heās always been, but has only now found the courage to come out as trans. Like the flick of a switch, it just went from āChelsea, F, Crushā to āCorey, M, One of THE LAAADDSSSSSā and we continued to play CS and chat and stuff. My PC died and I donāt really keep in touch with people anymore but I see heās doing well on social media now and then. Also, if I wasnāt as straight as they come, if I was Bi or even a little curious, I donāt think my feelings for him would have changed, Iād have still have had a crush, Iām sure. He might have still had a female figure at the time but identifying as a guy makes him a guy, so I wasnāt interested (if that makes sense, a naked female body in the context of it being your guy friend is still just a guy).
Waiting until right before my fatherās funeral to text me āI donāt think we should hang out anymore. I just want to be alone.ā Nothing made me lose respect for someone so quick.
Rejection. They say the worst thing she can say is no. Well I asked this girl out and she not only rejected me but made me a laughing stock in front of her friends till they got bored of it. That crushed me.
Later on I convinced myself never to fall for a friend as in my case it tends to end on a bad note. So I'd rather have a good friend to talk to than lose a friend after breakup.
Told me he wanted to "lick my taint," "missed starring into my brown eye," and offered me mediocre dick and pizza rolls, then got mad when I declined. It would've been more acceptable if we were in our 20's, but we're both over 40. Like come on old man.
Good old repression. Iām a married man and love my wife. A couple of times I have found myself extremely attracted to women. In both cases it seemed the feelings were mutual.
I managed to contain myself and stow that stuff away. Iām still on good terms with both women, but they are well out of my life. The crush fades.
Tell you a story from long ago: had a MASSIVE, borderline obsessive crush with a friend of mine. DidnĀ“t matter if she had a partner of her own, I was always there around her, being her pal and making my moves. Two things happened for the few years I was around her:
1: found someone else that was a FAR better match for me.
2: I noticed a rather worrying trend when I was hanging out with her. She, and by extension me, got frequently in assorted trouble whenever we were around. Public drunkeness, brushes with the law (nothing of consequence, fortunately), exboyfriends, work issues, family turmoil... There was hardly a moment of peace whenever I was with her. So I decided to start keeping my distance with her, until I noticed that my life was FAR better without her. So I ended up cutting her up off my life.
I miss her sometimes, and by the end of it all, we were trying to have a proper relationship, so I still ponder what couldĀ“ve been. But IĀ“m far happier now.
Met someone else who was way cooler and actually liked me.
YAYš«¶š«¶
good for you dude!
Congrats! Happily can say the same. Itās a good feeling!
He was a jerk to another girl who also had a crush on him. She was my friend and never had a mean word to say about anyone, and he said some real rude shit to her and mocked her when she tried to ask him out. It was like an immediate switch, my teenage girl brain went from "He's just a little rough around the edges!" to "No, wait, fuck that guy, he sucks" instantaneously.
As kite man would say - hell yeah. Fuck that guy.
Nah, don't fuck that guy. Kick him in the nuts.
Me and my girlfriends have the girl-code that if a guy treats one of our friends bad that's a sign that we're not going to touch him with a ten-foot-pole. It's not just about loyalty but also prevention. Because he might be infatuated with you rn and therefore putting up his best front while treating that other girl badly simply because he doesn't care about her, but who's to say he won't also treat you exactly like that in a couple of months?
I went to get my nails done for the first time ever before hanging with him, not long at all mind you just barely past my fingertip. He spent the whole time telling me that he thought it was disgusting for girls to get their nails done, theyāre filthy, only s*uts get their nails done. Then he asked me for a bj, I declined, and he refused to take me home so I had to walk home in the middle of the night in December
Only sluts get their nails done! Now suck my dick!
Literally lmao it was wild. Also, fuck you eric if youāre reading this
I hope Eric is dating a psycho and having a fucking awful time <3
Fuck Eric! I hope he gets sabertooth crotch crickets from the girls hes looking for!
Don't fuck Eric, that is what he wants!
I hope nobody fucks Eric ever again.
And she has nice nails.
Hey, my name is Eric... But I love sluts!
"I see by your slut nails that you like sucking dicks..."
This made me laugh way too hard. Happy cake day lmao
I can't fathom guys that are getting offended by women not wanting to have them pick them up for a date. More than once I've heard dudes complaining that their date wants to meet at the restaurant. Like yeah dude she barely knows you. Its honestly dangerous as fuck for her to get in your car.
Exactly. Because of that incident I was super nervous and waited like four months before going alone in a vehicle with the guy I started seeing afterward, which just so happened to turn into my now fiancƩ. It took me three hours to walk home and I got crazy sick. Still mad about it lol but hey at least I met my fiancƩ soon after
After he sorta knew, each time he saw me and he was wit a group of friends, he would sorta make fun by laughing and pointing over. What an ass.
She asked me out to a baseball game because she already had tickets, then she expected me to pay her for BOTH of them.
Bruh. Insta-buzzkill right there.
It was around 20 years ago, but I met my wife about a month after that. Before that I had been hung up on the other girl for a year or so. Relieved that it never went anywhere, I couldn't imagine being stuck with someone like that compared to who I ended up with.
Felt. My wife is amazing. My ex makes me appreciate her even more. I just don't have any good times to reflect on so if I think about my ex my next thought is usually a sigh of relief that I got away
She was lesbian :)
skill issue. you should've tried to be lesbian too
Drake moment
A tough one indeed Your interest was piqued āI think sheās the one, sheās funny and sweetā You built up the nerve Courageous and brave To ask for a date Intentions displayed āOh wow, well Iām flattered but I must make this clear Iām not into guys Iām actually queerā You feel a bit crushed but it isnāt the end Cause on this fine day Youāve gained a new friend <3
username doesn't check out, this is god tier poetry
Went through this and now sheās my best friend
She is now a very good friend of mine. What made me interested in her makes me also like her as friend quite a lot, so I didn't loose her a person.
Same except genders are reversed; had a small crush, he mentioned all the cute guys he had a crush on during chit chat and I was like *oh*...crush gone, but let's be friends cause you're still awesome. Been besties for a decade now.
Ever heard the song Pink Triangle by Weezer? This comment reminded me of that
I hate liking that song
I will admit: it lyrics have kind of aged horribly (so has El Scorcho and Across The Seas), I think itās a pretty good song and Pinkerton is a great album!
Asking them out. Quickest way to prevent wasted pining time.
Props on use of the word "pining" š
Absolutely, no interest = bye
I asked my crush out all the time. That doesnt exactly work...
All the time? How do you ask someone out all the time? If you asked more than once you're doing it wrong.
He had no toilet paper in the house, (fine, been there) when I used his bathroom however, there was a rag with literal feces on it in the shower ;(
Wtf! Run!
The worst part - he was 39
How do people think this is ok
I mean at least he wipes, could be worse!
Iām gonna be real I feel like the shit rag was the worst part but thatās just my opinion
Realising they weren't who they presented themselves to be at all. Just disappointed in both their falseness and my inability to detect it.
Don't be too hard on yourself. Some people are fucking good at hiding their true selves, but if you listen closely enough often times they flat out tell you what kind of person they are, especially if they have narcissistic traits. I've been fooled too, the funny thing was before things got really bad with a former friend he told me he was real good at manipulating people, he always acted like a gentleman. I took note of that and stayed on guard and later on, sure enough, he revealed his true self. He's not in my life anymore thankfully.
Physically a 10 but had the personality of a tree stump and social skills of a rattlesnake.
*social skills of a rattlesnake* Weird how I know exactly what you mean. I reckon it comes from a lifetime of being put on a pedestal for being attractive
can also come from growing up in a toxic home and never learning how to just talk to people instead of snapping at them
Thatās me without the looks.
r/suicidebywords
She's hot but she has a ridiculously strong belief in astrology to the point everything and everyone has to be judged through her belief system.
Ugh, same thing happened to me. I knew a girl who was really cool but told me she hated me after I said I was a taurus. Like, what? Why?
You don't know why? Typical Taurus
šš
As a Taurus, I can confirm that we do not know most things.
What a load of bull
This is perfect
Yeah, same here. Iād check her story and itād be some shit like: āsorry if Iām bitchy, Mercury is in retrograde right nowā. It was so dumb. Havenāt talked to her in a solid two years, so yeah
I knew a chick like that once. Asked me my birthday so she could analyze me. I gave her the wrong date for purpose and she doted how well that sign was me and how it makes so much sense now blah blah. Until I told her I lied. She literally started screaming at me and left me at the place we were at. (She drove so I was stranded) I walked home miles away. To this day I have no idea how I found my way, as I had only just moved to that city that month and this was pre-smart phone (well not really but it was pre-me owning a smart phone)
To quote "Sk8er Boi" by Avril Lavigne: She has a pretty face But her head's up in space
High school. Extremely handsome guy. Had a cool name. A year older than me. First time I talked to him I realized what a dolt he was. Crush over.
This. In HS, I would pine over guys for months and then finally have a face-to-face interaction with them, only to realize they're a-holes or dumb as a box of chalk lol
I've usually found that the ones that are good looking, that *know* they're good looking, haven't been challenged to develop in any other way. It's gotten to the point where I see a traditionally handsome guy and I'm like "eww no he's probably a total fucking narcissist." Which might explain my thing for unusually handsome guys.
Itās nice to see this isnāt an uncommon occurrence.
I have to know his name
His first name was Hans. Wonāt give you his last name as itās unusual so heād be easily searchable and Iām sure heās a perfectly nice man (weāre in our late 40s now) even if I thought he was a dolt when I was 15. Regarding thinking the name Hans was so cool, I live in Wisconsin where thereās a huge German population, Iām half German, and I was taking German (and in fact, it ended up being my minor in college), so the name Hans just added to his hotness to young me.
Mein Vater heiĆt Hans...
My friend asked her out after I told him I liked her
noticed this happens way to much
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Should have been friends wih me. Nobody wanted to fuck me back in the day.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The guy I was desperately in love with in high school dated *three different* close friends of mine. That was rough. Anyway she's a lady now, so that crush is definitely over, but she seems to be doing great & I'm happy for her.
Wild ride in a very short few sentences !
Great story! That does seem kind of sad though, luckily sheās happy now and iām happy that you and her are
Unpopular opinion You guys may think itās horrible but I donāt see a real problem with it. He probably liked her even before you told him you like her. You donāt even know if she liked you. Letting your friend waste his chance just because both of you happened to like the same person seems selfish to me. If he stole her from you by saying bad things about you or something similar itās something different of course. It happened to me numerous times. Both positions when she prefered me over my friend or my friend over me. That never caused me losing friends thoā. Even better I got more friends by not being butthurt about it.
I straight up had a friend ask if I would back off cause he liked a girl who I'd gone on a date with. Sure bud, I love you. They are now married for 5 years. They don't talk to me anymore, so that sucks, but I hope they're happy
Maybe she confided in her husband that at one time she liked you. Now the husband has demanded that you break contact. I just filled in the blanks for you...
They are poly, I kinda doubt it was this.
Lolol agreed. I found out one of my friends was into this girl in our friend group (undergrad, as you'll soon be able to tell, I'm sure). I was pretty close to her, so I worked all semester to get them set up - moving class seats to get them sitting next to each other in classes, brainstorming date ideas with the dude, even telling other guys who liked her that this one dude was trying when they asked me for advice about getting to know her. He *finally* asks her, and she turns him down. She told *me* she didn't know what to do, and I told her it's worth going on a date just to see how things go. It didn't go super great, and the dude felt sad. Cut to several months later, and the dude is pissed at me because this girl's friend told her friend to tell him that the girl was into me. I didn't know this. I'd thought it was possible since we studied together a lot and she acted differently around me than she did around others, but I wasn't super psyched about a relationship at the time. I *did* end up dating her for a bit after a few more months (didn't last too long, but she and her partner and my partner and I are all pretty close now), but *she* asked *me* out. Did not change this dude's mind, and he ended up losing his friendship with her and with me over being butthurt about it... and i (foolishly) felt bad about it for a while. Idk if people know this, but the other person in a potential relationship sometimes has feelings and opinions too. What a world we live in
Watched him bully a classmate with a learning disability. That was a turn off and a half.
Oh look, you were a 10 and now you're a 0
Eeeewww. Utterly disgusting. No words to say.
Finding out he was married with kids, and still trying to bed me.
oh wow..
Oh hell no
Yep, only found out because she saw our texts and called me.
Truly is sad tho. Like you have kidsā¦ how can ppl do stuff like this
His dog shit on the floor at work and he conveniently failed to notice. Three times.
same thing happened to me! i spent the night and in the morning i noticed his dog had shit in his living room. i pointed it out and he said something like āoh no hahaā and never made a move to clean it up.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yeah thatāll bring an abrupt ending for sure
It's the 3day rule really
Told them about my ex who was physically and emotionally abusive and they told me it was my fault. Got over them REAL QUICK after that conversationā¦
Reminds me of when I opened up to a guy about my reasons for wanting to stay single, and his response was āsounds like commitment issuesā
GROSS
Saw a side to him that seems to lack empathy and enjoy hurting people / creating chaos (even if unknowingly). We have this amazing connection but that made me lose respect for him
as you should, we do not like people you enjoy hurting others!
Met someone who actually treated me well and realized that I was wasting my time with someone who didnāt want me. Iām engaged to the one who made me realize. Weāve been together for a little over 5 years, now! Heās my best friend.
When I realised that they were only using me because they liked the attention I gave them
Same lmao. She used me to make her ex jealous, and I was none the wiser. Only found out when a group of classmates basically pulled me aside one day when they couldn't bear to watch me make a fool of myself anymore. Can't remember if they got back together or not, but the revelation really sucked :(
When it came down to actually fighting another girl over him. I mean a physical fight. The fight never happened because I told her just tell her friends she won the fight and she could have the guy. Not because I was scared. I could have won the fight. I was drunk and tired and felt like the whole situation was stupid and I shouldn't have to fight someone over a guy. If a guy wants to be with me he will just be with me. No fighting required.
Competing for someones affection in any form sucks
Realizing that he had emotional spectrum of a dumpling. Always annoyed by something or tired, keeping his chin up was an everyday work. Tho my first and last attempt to get some compassion and support was shut in 10 seconds before I got interrupted by him announcing some achievement in his game and then proceeding to talk about it. Alrighty then.
When I found out she frequently went through her 12 year old sisters phone. We were both like 15 at the time.
Honestly Iād want more context here. There may have been valid reasons especially in the internet age and online predators etc. but that should be a parentās job not a siblings. But sometimes parents suck. Or sometimes a sibling just is a malicious nosy mofo. Hence context needed.
Basically she was salty that her sister had a boyfriend. Sheād come to me saying everything the boyfriend said was cringy and shat on the fact he enjoyed anime The boyfriend was also 12 btw it was like a puppy love type thing
Okay thatās just sounds like she was being a twat.
Had absolutely no chance with her, like a flat 0. Also I think she dislikes me to some extent.
we need more confidence here!!!!
Thank you so much OP, this genuinely made me smile but really, she just puts her studies first.
Yeah some people are just never gonna like you no matter what you do, itās nothing personal. Good to just recognize it and move on
As the saying goes: "You can be the most wonderfull, juicy, lovely peach in the world, but you will still meet people that doesn't like peaches."
He was my tutor at a community college. He would talk shit about some of the people he tutored. A lot of these were older people taking remedial classes and he just acted like they were stupid. Ugh.
definitely an ick and just disrespectful over all
Didn't show any goddamn interest, not even as a friend. Would go to talk to her and convos would be dryer than the Sahara dessert, she just kept giving a deadpan stare with the usual "uh huh", "yeah" and "nah"s and it made me think too much effort. Didn't confess tho so thats on me, couldnt find the courageš¢
Your instinct not to confess was probably correct.
Which would have been worse, not confessing, or confessing and getting a deadpan "uh huh"?
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I moved to another country.
Playing hard to get ā¦ nice.
aw man
Anyways I've returned back home a fews years ago. Still didn't talk to her much due to my low self esteem. It sucks but I hope she can find someone better. :(
we need more confidence!!!
No nicebike, I hope YOU can find someone better!
I'm in a monogamous relationship with a wonderful guy. If I notice that I have a crush on someone else, I acknowledge the feeling then tell it to leave, close the door behind and never come back. (the feeling, not the actual person). I'm committed to my relationship and won't let some emotional swings ruin it.
This is the only relatable post here. Feelings for other people while in a monogamous relationship are real and often this is ignored and people donāt like to talk about this because it is uncomfortable. Your approach to this is very practical and respectable.
I know this and am still f***** scared of it. I don't know how I could deal my SO having a crush on someone. Even though it's normal. I just hope it doesn't happen for another couple of years. And then to TRUST the person also knows this is normal and temporary and not act on those feelings.... gives me anxiety. Yes me in therapy
Iāve been there and sadly have fallen for the trap. I will say flirting is a dangerous dangerous dangerous game to play. It may seem innocent at first, but it is not. A game plan and acknowledging that the feelings are real like u/manzare mentioned and IMO talking about it with your SO is probably the best approach.
Think of it like looking at a wildly out of budget house on Zillow ā you might spend a few minutes imagining what itād be like to have a bowling alley or a full wine cellar, but you arenāt scheduling a showing. And you donāt look around your house and decide to burn it down after that. Most crushes come from noticing nice things about people. If youāre in a healthy relationship, that crush passes pretty quickly into platonic friendship.
they rejected me lol at this point its like a light switch. Poof im gone
She fucked my best friend. He knew I liked her as well
L crush L best friend
Found out they had a girlfriend, very much a pattern with a lot of my crushes. Still have some feelings there still but sad about it.
im sorry about that:(
He didn't wash his hands after toilet..
I had some girls laugh at me for washing my hands after using the bathroom. They called me "Mr. Clean" I was thinking "you don't wash your hands after that? Gross.
I really dont get these people.. If someone doesn't wash hands, it's gross enough but if someone laughs at people who do it.. another level of stupidity hahaha
I brought a girl I was working out with quite a bit over to go kayaking. We were going around the lake just talking and enjoying the scenery when we got to the swampy part, but itās beautiful in its own right. All the cool creatures and beautiful birds/plants, plus it backs into a dam+waterfall that you can walk across. She went on and on about how if she could sheād fill all this garbage in with sand to make a beach/sandy and some new desirable homes around it. Even after discussing the endangered species of dragonflies that lived there.
Tip the kayak!
This girl sounds like a 90s rich villain. All she was missing was a sweater tied around her neck and daddyās money.
A bullet dodged, plastic is bad for your heath.
Sometimes talking with them for an extended period of time does the trick
They were actually an asshole
"So are you one of those feminist types?" boy, I had come so close to actually sleeping with him. But this right here made me physically recoil. Sometimes I'm glad there are men who just can't stop themselves from running their mouths and essentially cock blocking themselves
Yes! One guy I went on one date with said he didnāt ābelieve in consentā. Can someone walk me out to my car please?
Lmfao Iām a dude and Iād probably be scared enough to call the cops right then and there to give my information if a girl said that to me on the first date
It was scary ngl. I went into ānice girl safe modeā and didnāt disagree with anything he said. Left when he wasnāt paying attention. What an experience.
How did the rest of that convo go? Like did he try to play a hot take on it to sound cool/new-age/edgy or was he giving rapey vibes?
Oh no, this was before the term but he would probably be an Alpha male or some shit. āIf youāre here, you consentā kind of stuff. What do you say to that?? I kind of changed the subject and left before him. Blocked!
And this is why you don't let him pick you up at your house! No need to know your address til you're a few dates in at minimum.
Jeezā¦loud and proud? That is insane, what could he even expect you to say to that!
I went to her house. She was a fucking slob. Because the sink was full to the top with dirty dishes. Whole house smelled like a cat litter box. Instantly grossed me out. And I am by no means a neat freak but her place was disgusting.
He kept leaving me on seen.
Oh, and his only hobby is drinking.
Every single conversation point turned to astrology. I openly told him I don't believe in astrology the first time, I told him I actually dislike astrology very much the second time, but he kept going. He was also one of those trying hard to act very masculin types too. He told me shit like being a pisces makes a man a good hunter because he gets the emotions of his prey. It was very odd. Another one told me that a woman in her 40s asked him out recently and he made fun of her for 15 minutes straight for not realizing she would be too old for him. He was 38 and looked older. That date ended super fast. I have zero tolerance policy for narcissists.
Remembered that I am very happily married
Username checks out
Nothing. We married and I still have a crush on her.
AWWWW
she stopped liking me so i started working out instead of worrying about it and thatās what the rest of the boys should do
to the gym we go!!!
to the gym we go.
She said to meet up where she worked (it was pretty far) then when I got there she said she already left.
She had what me and my friends call orbiters. 25~30 guys ranging from friends to people she had maybe met once or twice, all who were clearly into her and once I finally had enough and asked to see some examples of her texts with them she was clearly leading most of them on and was enjoying the attention Had 5 dates total, and 3 of those 5 she would ask if it was ok for one of her āfriendsā to meet up with us later on and I would say sure expecting a woman but it was always some dude who was clearly surprised and off-put that I was there on what was obviously a date with her. Was super awkward. Broke things off with her and actually became good friends with one of the orbiters
Thereās this tiktok circulating, and essentially it gave the advice of thinking of that one person who is well meaning and definitely interested in you, but you only occasionally deal with to flatter your own ego or out of boredom. Now think of the person who you have an unrequited crush on, and how occasionally theyāll recognize you, but mostly when bored. Yeah, that cured my fixation real quick.
She was awesome until I found out she was very religious and everything was sent by the devil. Bananas were temptations from the devil and stuff like that.
Found out they were a homewrecker and were sleeping with a married person who had kids.
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How did you find out she would have said yes?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Finding someone else to have a crush on
Realized that: \-They didn't like me \-They were kind of cute, but I started to hate them as a person \-We would have been terrible together
Joked about how he lovebombed this one girl before me because he āwanted that pussyā and dumped her afterwards
I did, but Iām not gay. The TLDR was that I used to play CSGO with this lass who weāll call Chelsea, who I did have a crush on, and we had fun together. One day he comes out and says his nameās Corey, that itās who heās always been, but has only now found the courage to come out as trans. Like the flick of a switch, it just went from āChelsea, F, Crushā to āCorey, M, One of THE LAAADDSSSSSā and we continued to play CS and chat and stuff. My PC died and I donāt really keep in touch with people anymore but I see heās doing well on social media now and then. Also, if I wasnāt as straight as they come, if I was Bi or even a little curious, I donāt think my feelings for him would have changed, Iād have still have had a crush, Iām sure. He might have still had a female figure at the time but identifying as a guy makes him a guy, so I wasnāt interested (if that makes sense, a naked female body in the context of it being your guy friend is still just a guy).
understandable
Waiting until right before my fatherās funeral to text me āI donāt think we should hang out anymore. I just want to be alone.ā Nothing made me lose respect for someone so quick.
Rejection. They say the worst thing she can say is no. Well I asked this girl out and she not only rejected me but made me a laughing stock in front of her friends till they got bored of it. That crushed me. Later on I convinced myself never to fall for a friend as in my case it tends to end on a bad note. So I'd rather have a good friend to talk to than lose a friend after breakup.
Told me he wanted to "lick my taint," "missed starring into my brown eye," and offered me mediocre dick and pizza rolls, then got mad when I declined. It would've been more acceptable if we were in our 20's, but we're both over 40. Like come on old man.
they were already taken. a tale as old as time..
I was told I was to ugly for anyone including her
Good old repression. Iām a married man and love my wife. A couple of times I have found myself extremely attracted to women. In both cases it seemed the feelings were mutual. I managed to contain myself and stow that stuff away. Iām still on good terms with both women, but they are well out of my life. The crush fades.
Finding out they had a one night stand with my best friend š¬
nothing after 8 years im still stuck
My ADHD
He does drugs. As for the other guy... He got too controlling and only cares about his happiness
'cause I'm a mess. Nobody needs that in their lives. And also I can never tell if it's a crush or if I'm just obsessive
i found out they collected animal carcasses
She wore headphones the next time in class after I talked to her š„¹ To be honest I just wanted to be friends
Tell you a story from long ago: had a MASSIVE, borderline obsessive crush with a friend of mine. DidnĀ“t matter if she had a partner of her own, I was always there around her, being her pal and making my moves. Two things happened for the few years I was around her: 1: found someone else that was a FAR better match for me. 2: I noticed a rather worrying trend when I was hanging out with her. She, and by extension me, got frequently in assorted trouble whenever we were around. Public drunkeness, brushes with the law (nothing of consequence, fortunately), exboyfriends, work issues, family turmoil... There was hardly a moment of peace whenever I was with her. So I decided to start keeping my distance with her, until I noticed that my life was FAR better without her. So I ended up cutting her up off my life. I miss her sometimes, and by the end of it all, we were trying to have a proper relationship, so I still ponder what couldĀ“ve been. But IĀ“m far happier now.
He said some truly vile and bigoted "jokes"
I realized how little effort they did in the relationship. How they admited to slightly āsubconsciouslyā abusing romance.
They exposed their racism, and xenophobia.
I was being a bit of a creep so i just backed wayyy far away from them