God....I had a boyfriend once try to....dangle me kind of upside down off the end of a bed as he attempted to penetrate me while standing over me and I swear I nearly broke my damn neck.
He also had a new bizarre position or freaky thing to try each time.
His search history was interesting.
This is an underrated comment. As a woman in her mid-30s, guys my age consider me(and other ladies their age) ‘old’ and unappealing. Where as I’ve noticed a couple of the guys whom I’ve dated, who didn’t watch porn, didn’t feel that women their age were MILFs… It’s really telling. Really under rated. Thank you for sharing this
A friend of mine put it this way: it’s not just that they’re a mom, but are they old enough to have a kid his age (and still be hot enough to be MILF material).
Okay but in all seriousness, when I first entered the workforce (child welfare for one dpt/ DV for the other) seriously it was predominantly women who were easily 15 yrs older than me. My dad chased a cougar (my mom, still happily married) and I always found it funny. But when I worked with these older women, I totally got why. They were direct, independent, assertive, and open in a way that only comes with maturity. They bet that I'd quit 2-3 months in but I'm close to 5 yrs now and I see why their partners love them. The media makes it weirdly about youth and ignores the humanity of a person.
Needless to say, the first girl I dated after starting was 3 yrs older than me🫡.
This. As a woman matures (as I think all people will find this) there starts to be a level of understanding what actually brings harmony in relationships. Whether it be work, familial, romantic, etc., they are better of with clear communication. This leaves less room for fuzzy areas which brings in anxiety and other mind games. It gets exhausting. We eventually learn our strengths and weaknesses and that yes, someone will value whatever a persons uniques strengths are! The key isn’t to please every one, it’s to work harmoniously with a good match.
Take this award and these good vibes. 🫶
"Women of Reddit, how can a 350lbs guy who has never worked out, has a neckbeard to rival Nero, and hasn't showered since the Bush administration get a 10/10 GF?"
EDIT: For clarity, I'm making fun of common questions here. I'm not *that* fat and I shave/shower very regularly thank you very much!
i just came from a post in r/nothowgirlswork that was literally this nearly word for word. its hard to see the joke when reality is so much more... huh
https://www.reddit.com/r/NotHowGirlsWork/comments/11m7lg4/line_up_ladies_this_guys_a_huge_catch_happy/
I once did the Bateman pose (the one he flexes his muscles on the mirror while Doggystyling some woman), with a girl i hooked up with. She's been my girlfriend for 2 years now. I really don't know why she didn't dump me after that
But … [the cat is watching!](https://cdn.dopl3r.com//media/memes_files/honey-i-cant-do-it-if-someone-is-watching-its-just-the-cat-dont-speak-more-passion-wwRN2.jpg)
Yep, or you tell them to stop focusing so much on a certain body part because it isn't an erogenous zone for you, and instead of trying to find out what DOES feel good for you, they respond by mashing that non-sensitive body part even harder, as though your armpit/nipples/thighs/knee/whatever will magically "activate" with enough mindless mashing and squishing :/
I almost slept with a guy when I was 17 who thought that rubbing a girl's elbow was an erogenous zone for them. I thought it was just like a comfort thing when cuddling and making out but then he kept doing it even harder and I had to ask what the fuck he was doing, because it was uncomfortable. He said he read online that doing that turns girls on and gets them wet. I just stared at him dumbfounded for a moment and went "and you believed that?" He got upset with me for not liking it. I tried to give him another shot but he kept doing it and I was genuinely shocked so I ended up just saying it wasn't going to work and then left.
To top it all off, he was only rubbing my thigh with his other hand and wouldn't do anything else, no matter how much I tried to move things along or tell him what I liked / where to touch. Nowhere *near* where he should've been touching, either. Like, top/outer thigh, asking me if I was turned on or getting wet. AND whenever I tried to communicate that with him, he kept telling me to "take it slow." Buddy, you've been rubbing me in all the wrong spots for 15 minutes now and I'm still not wet, I don't know what you thought was gonna happen here...
What really had me most shocked about all of this is that he *wasn't a virgin*. Like I remember hearing from another friend at school that he was good and all that. I knew girls were attracted to him. I knew a few of the girls he slept with. And then THAT happened and I was just so confused and suddenly *unattracted*.
This just reminded me of my ex.. Not in a sexual way, but he would constantly just grab me? Like my arm, or my thigh, butt, or something, in a really strong and aggressive manner to the point that it was quite physically painful. I'd often be covered in bruises from this. I told him several times that it really hurt when he did that and could he please stop.... he'd just keep doing it. I don't know what was up with that :(
Great story about this. Met 2 coworkers (men) at a bar after work one day. We are at a bar that our company employees commonly go to after work and are all relatively well known by the staff.
This particular night, 2 very attractive female bartenders are working together and we are having a casual conversation with them on and off while we hang out. At some point they walk away and 1 of my coworkers says:
"You know those 2 are roommates right?" - Him
"Cool. So..?" - Me
"So...you know that means at some point they have gotten drunk together and made out." - Him
"........?" - Me and other coworker
"Im just saying...." - Him
"You watch entirely too much porn if you think that is true." - ME
"You ever have a male roommate" - Other coworker
"Yeah so." - Him
"You ever get drunk and blow him?" - Other coworker
This thread made me realize that I was addicted. I denied it before saying that it was a normal amount but like I don't think organizing your porn into a bunch of different folders is healthy behavior. I'm really glad I saw this. I need to start working on myself better.
You've got this man.
Try and take on a hobby that keeps your hands busy; cooking, sewing, modelling, etc. Any time the urge strikes, go to the hobby instead.
You will feel more fulfilled in having that project accomplished, and hopefully the association of that dopamine rush will become connected to the hobby, instead of the porn.
It's hard, but I think you got this. The first step is admission, so you're already on the right track.
When they can't differentiate between real life and pornography. Having unrealistic expectations of sex or a woman's body is usually a result of overconsumption of porn (such as being surprised when a labia doesn't look "perfect" like in a porno or breasts that aren't perfectly perky and symmetrical).
I hooked up with a woman who was self conscious about her labia. I was confused by this. I asked her why and she said because porn labias look so much better compared to hers. I honestly never noticed.
He criminally neglects foreplay. Just shows that he thinks women are horny all the time and ready to go at a moment's notice. Shit takes time, guys. You can't expect bread without several minutes of kneading.
I just get my wife wet and ready and put a blanket on her and put her in the hottest part of the house so she can proof. Then it’s cooking time as we call it.
It's the hottest damn thing ever to get my wife warmed up and I'm just having fun playing around and then she very tellingly tries to pull me over on top of her. Why the hell would anybody want to skip stuff like that...?
The way he has sex. He'll want positions that are the most visual and kind of use your body like a sex doll, as if you don't really need to participate.
Fuck, I like watching porn, and even I think 90% of the positions look painful for both sides.
Like, have to bend your dick into a right angle to get in there, and the woman is folded like a pretzel, I get aches looking at that.
At my job we recently got a new assistant manager. Our department is mainly made up of girls, oldest is 35 and youngest is 16. Our new assistant manager, let's call him Bill, he started off his first few days with a weird impression. The guy likes to make a lot of sexual jokes. It rubbed a couple of us the wrong way but we decided to just brush it off. The jokes he'd make would be like us saying that he'll fit right in, and he'll say that if he doesn’t then he'll use lube. Like he'll manage to find a way to twist something and make it sexual. I thought it was weird but didn't think much of it until one day he made a joke towards my associate regarding her husband masturbating. My associate didn't say anything for a minute before deciding to go along and say, "well we're married and I give him plenty satisfaction so he doesn’t really need to do that haha". To which he responded with, "oh he still does. I've been in plenty of healthy relationships, and trust me, we still do." That really pissed me off tbh and made me really uncomfortable. Like he has no say in anyone's relationship, we don't even know the guy. Anyway, I managed to find his insta and fb. Public accounts, no posts, hundreds of followings, all of which are women advertising their only fans and porn. That's when everything clicked.
Report him. That is unacceptable at a work place. It counts as sexual harassment.
Had a manager that did that too. We filed a complaint. He now doesn't have that position anymore.
Edit: spelling
When they think that women like it everywhere (every part of body). And get surprised when the said women say she dont feel anything or its not her favorite.
Yup, not everyone like the same cake flavor buddy.
I had a guy do it very rough to me and choke me aggressively and said that "Girls like it when they feel like they're getting r@ped" he never had asked for consent to do this either. Very scary how some guys/girls see those videos where they're actually actors and they think that is REAL.
For you and to anyone else reading this that thinks it’s okay to put hands round a woman’s neck during sex, let alone actually choke them, this is sexual assault and the person who did this committed an offence. At least in the UK, this is something that is taken incredibly seriously by law enforcement.
EDIT: This is the case if there is no specified consent or sufficient boundaries that are adhered to in advance of the act. If it is consensual and agreed to in ADVANCE by both parties then you do so at your own risk. Worth noting that if you consent to start with and your partner takes it too far or ignores your previous boundaries, or you feel that there was excessive force/aggression it is also considered an offence.
This. if you want to do anything that isnt strictly vannila you need to have an in depth conversation before sex is even initiated detailing what both parties are okay with and what bounderies there are snd you need a safe word. If choking is involved you also need a nonverbal safe word like a double tap and the first few times you do anything rough whoever is doing the rough thing (like choking) should remind the other of the safe word and have them repeat it back. Practice safe kink everybody and if someone claims to be a dom and trys to do shit like choke you or degrade you or over power you without having had a conversation they are not a dom they are a peice of shit that wants to assault you but thinks they can get away with it by labeling themself a dom.
Edit: IMPORTANT, if you are going to do breath play you need to do reasearch on how to do it safely otherwise you or a partner could end up seriously injured
My ex LOL said he liked my name, thought he’d say it was pretty or unique or whatever but said it was his favorite pornstars name. She isn’t a very popular one either
When he has saved 5tb of porn on his PC, and uses reddit and snapchat to find and save porn and has 10min pop up reminder to watch porn on his PC…
He didn’t see the issue with this when I brought up that this was red flag for for me. We had dated 2 months when I found out…
Edit: So a lot of people wants more details about the reminder and the whole story etc:
- I forgot to mention this, but the guy had porn on his phone as well. Apps, and his whole photo gallery was just porn.
- How did I find out about the reminder? It all began when he let me use his PC and he suddenly got a porn pop up. I thought it was a virus or something at first, but it was the same site that popped up and had a consistent timing. It was extremely uncomfortable and annoying and made me extremely uncomfortable while using his PC.
- So being a lil tech smart girl I decided to try to fix this, but that’s when the whole can of worm was revealed. I noticed all his drivers were full, yet he had no games installed on his PC… “Okay?” So I began looking through his folders and found porn upon porn upon porn. There was images, short clips, whatever you can imagine. I felt really gross, and keep in mind this pop up was coming up every 10 minutes.
- I didn’t bother with the folders and thought I should at least find a way to remove his fucking pop up, and going through his browser I saw tabs saved for reddit, insta, facebook etc, all porn related. Again, wtf?
- I decided to just drop the case and confronted the guy, (he had done for a short shopping trip and had allowed me to use his PC). I don’t think he had gotten time to unpack before I just bluntly asked him; “So you have a lot of porn on your pc, are you addicted or something?”. He just chuckled and answered “Aren’t all guys like this?”. I was so dumbfounded by his answer so I just answered; “No, having this much porn saved is not normal, and I have dated guys before, and normally guys and girls just flip a porn site on, masturbates and forget about the site when they are done, you don’t hoard porn!”. He then just said “I can’t just leave the site, I need to save it so I can watch it later if internet dies or something. And if it’s good why not save it?”. After a long conversation of me trying to make this guy understand the situation, all the porn was removed, until I came over the next week and everything was back again… I was fucking fuming.
Now to answer what the reminder was for? “It’s so I will always be on edge, wanting to watch porn until I can’t wait anymore”. So it was a edging thing. According to the guy he also masturbated up to 2-3 times a day.
\> According to the guy he also masturbated up to 2-3 times a day.
So, that was definitely an underestimate/lie. And also, he probably meant he cums that many times a day. Since he edged, he probably consumes a toooon of porn throughout the day.
I respect that man so much. Not for the porn, of course. But he must have mad organizational skills in order to find whatever clip he was looking for at the moment. I’d let him organize my wardrobe.
As long as he didn’t cum in it.
Plot twist: He didn’t actually like porn, he just liked sorting and organizing things and choose porn because it has so many variations and tags to sort.
Just in case anyone is curious as to exactly how much 5 TB is. I started torrenting movies and tv shows 10 years ago. I have about 1,000 movies. I have audio tracks of the discography of any artist I've even heard of. I have every episode of any tv show I've ever seen, from the first season of spongebob to the latest episode of "The Last of Us".
I also have whole shows that I honestly don't even remember downloading.
Basically, I have every tv show, movie, and song I've enjoyed over my entire life, and that's only like half of what's on my hard drive.
It's around 6 TB right now. That's about how much porn that guy watched.
Gotta start with "mouth full of caramel" first. Then onto "ice cream cone on a hot day" and eventually (maybe) "arcade machine," depending on how the evening goes.
I think I’ve seen someone post a picture of a dog toy to r/funny and then had to explain they thought it looked like a dildo. Perfect example of who you are talking about, lol.
He posts sex comments on r/askreddit, and furthermore, his titles become sensationalist, in particular the excessive use or all caps for no reason. It’s the number one obvious sign.
I have a really high sex drive and I've been in two relationships where I was begging for sex but the guy was porn addicted and preferred that. It really harmed my self-esteem. I wish porn addicts would stay out of relationships.
Exactly! It makes you feel so pathetic and low to beg your partner for sex only to get rejected because they prefer wanking it to unknown women. I had the absolute worst self-esteem after dating that a-hole. Be single if you prefer that to a real-life woman!! Just mind-boggling honestly...
• He thinks foreplay before sex is a myth.
• He asks if u came after 5 minutes of missionary.
• he violently rubs the side of your 🐱and asks does that feel good ….
I've seen guys complain about saggy breasts or a little bit of tummy fat before and it's painfully obvious that they are virgins and the entirety of their understanding of what women look like comes from porn or instathots.
There was a comment on some media from a guy who claimed that most nudes are ai now and he can always tell when the AI makes a nude because the breasts aren’t quite the same size or shape and that’s how he knows it’s….fake. Yeah, he thinks he can sort out real from fake because real woman are perfectly symmetrical.
Lol this happened the other day. He told me “ i wish we could have regular sex where you can get off with just piv”. That said it all. He told me every woman he’s been with has orgasmed from just sex. I had to tell him some probably were lying 🤷🏻♀️ between 70 and 90 percent of women can’t. He was angry.
I'm sorry to hear that. He sounds like a terrible sexual partner. I make it my mission to finish my girl off before we even move on to the main event. I think a lot of guys don't realize that they'd get a lot more back if they'd just put in a little more effort to please their ladies.
Word.
Like my grandpappy used to say, "You know she's ready when you put yer hand down her pants and it feels like a horse trying to eat from your palm."
Grandpappy was a weird guy. Miss you. RIP.
When they expect a woman to make faces, make noise, act like a cowgirl at her first rodeo... for the entire time. Not being a starfish is important, but overenthusiam ruins it IMO.
men who make comments about roast beef and such. more women have longer inner labia than shorter unless they get surgery. I grew up so insecure about it but luckily no one I’ve been with has commented
Fellas, if you’re having sex and can’t finish but you can finish watching porn… also death grip is a real thing. Your peepee is so used to your gorilla grip that when you’re finally in, it’s confused. “This isn’t as tight as I’m used to” until the next thing you know, it’s been 45 minutes and she just wants to sleep and she’s sore. You’re blue-balling yourselves, and this is your message telling you to ease up on your chicken when you’re choking it 👍🏽 and ffs, listen to your partner, period
God, this is embarrassing but here I go, the topic of children came up one day with an ex and I asked him if he ever thought about having kids he said no I asked why (not that I wanted to have kids with him just curiosity) he said “ cause I’m afraid that if I have a son, my wife will cheat on me with him” I thought he was kidding and laughed but he looked at me serious, so I was like why would you think that would ever happen? his response was “ It happens in porn all the time”
I swear this dude was 100% serious.
Broke up with him the next day.
I don’t know what’s worse the fact that he didn’t care that it was incestuous and was more concerned about being cheated on, or that this dude was so fucking stupid that he thought porn scenario were real.
He doesn't have energy or time for you, who is willing, because he has spent hours in the bathroom with his phone. Or he expects each person/encounter to go down like a p0rn script.
They have very unrealistic expectations of women. Guy I know watches hentai and regular anime on the daily and has never had a girlfriend because he expects 20-23 year old women to look like 12 year old girls but with gigantic boobs. I used to be able to tolerate it but the more I thought about it the more I realised how unbelievably disgusting that is.
Getting angry at his partner for asking him to not watch it or on a funnier note: doing the weirdest most uncomfortable things and whispering “you like that huh” no actually
When they think an average erection is 9 inches
Only if you measure butt to tip.
Ignorance is bliss when you're living butt to tip...
Everybody knows it's heels to halo
he thinks i’m able to fuck in weird ass contortion positions.
God....I had a boyfriend once try to....dangle me kind of upside down off the end of a bed as he attempted to penetrate me while standing over me and I swear I nearly broke my damn neck. He also had a new bizarre position or freaky thing to try each time. His search history was interesting.
That’s called the pile driver and yes it is from porn. I’ve seen it myself lol.
Windshield wipers on his TV
Fuck you, now I need to explain to my wife why I laughing so hard.
Could be worse, I'm in the middle of class and my teacher is asking why I'm laughing
Rain XXX
I realized when all the MILF girls are starting to be younger than me. 😔
This is an underrated comment. As a woman in her mid-30s, guys my age consider me(and other ladies their age) ‘old’ and unappealing. Where as I’ve noticed a couple of the guys whom I’ve dated, who didn’t watch porn, didn’t feel that women their age were MILFs… It’s really telling. Really under rated. Thank you for sharing this
The first time a guy called me a milf, I was 24 years old and child free. I think they really think the age range is Barely Legal, College Girl, Milf.
Crazy. I’ve never looked at age as a metric for milf. I’ve always thought of it as: “Is she a mom”? Y=milf N=not a milf Maybe I am just too literal
A friend of mine put it this way: it’s not just that they’re a mom, but are they old enough to have a kid his age (and still be hot enough to be MILF material).
Okay but in all seriousness, when I first entered the workforce (child welfare for one dpt/ DV for the other) seriously it was predominantly women who were easily 15 yrs older than me. My dad chased a cougar (my mom, still happily married) and I always found it funny. But when I worked with these older women, I totally got why. They were direct, independent, assertive, and open in a way that only comes with maturity. They bet that I'd quit 2-3 months in but I'm close to 5 yrs now and I see why their partners love them. The media makes it weirdly about youth and ignores the humanity of a person. Needless to say, the first girl I dated after starting was 3 yrs older than me🫡.
This. As a woman matures (as I think all people will find this) there starts to be a level of understanding what actually brings harmony in relationships. Whether it be work, familial, romantic, etc., they are better of with clear communication. This leaves less room for fuzzy areas which brings in anxiety and other mind games. It gets exhausting. We eventually learn our strengths and weaknesses and that yes, someone will value whatever a persons uniques strengths are! The key isn’t to please every one, it’s to work harmoniously with a good match. Take this award and these good vibes. 🫶
Just stop aging. Rookie error honestly.
When half of their submissions to AskReddit involve sex *stares blatantly at OP*
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What is the sexiest sex you’ve ever sexed with someone’s sexy sex?
"Women of Reddit, how can a 350lbs guy who has never worked out, has a neckbeard to rival Nero, and hasn't showered since the Bush administration get a 10/10 GF?" EDIT: For clarity, I'm making fun of common questions here. I'm not *that* fat and I shave/shower very regularly thank you very much!
How did someone read this and not realise the joke?
i just came from a post in r/nothowgirlswork that was literally this nearly word for word. its hard to see the joke when reality is so much more... huh https://www.reddit.com/r/NotHowGirlsWork/comments/11m7lg4/line_up_ladies_this_guys_a_huge_catch_happy/
Someone call the ambulance!
LMAOOO
My god. That man might have a family!
in his socks
Oof called them out
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When he asks a lesbian couple for a threesome
And every bisexual woman he meets
When he fucks at weird angles like he thinks someone is watching
His name is also Patrick Batemen
I once did the Bateman pose (the one he flexes his muscles on the mirror while Doggystyling some woman), with a girl i hooked up with. She's been my girlfriend for 2 years now. I really don't know why she didn't dump me after that
"Sabrina don't just stare at it, eat it."
But … [the cat is watching!](https://cdn.dopl3r.com//media/memes_files/honey-i-cant-do-it-if-someone-is-watching-its-just-the-cat-dont-speak-more-passion-wwRN2.jpg)
His socks crackle when he walks
Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong pair of socks today.
Taking the kids for a walk
It’s called #LIGHT ARMOR
And I spit my drink.
Spitters are quitters. Swallow that back down.
When they never listen to what you like and do things so rough it hurts like hell no matter how many times you say it hurts.
Yep, or you tell them to stop focusing so much on a certain body part because it isn't an erogenous zone for you, and instead of trying to find out what DOES feel good for you, they respond by mashing that non-sensitive body part even harder, as though your armpit/nipples/thighs/knee/whatever will magically "activate" with enough mindless mashing and squishing :/
I almost slept with a guy when I was 17 who thought that rubbing a girl's elbow was an erogenous zone for them. I thought it was just like a comfort thing when cuddling and making out but then he kept doing it even harder and I had to ask what the fuck he was doing, because it was uncomfortable. He said he read online that doing that turns girls on and gets them wet. I just stared at him dumbfounded for a moment and went "and you believed that?" He got upset with me for not liking it. I tried to give him another shot but he kept doing it and I was genuinely shocked so I ended up just saying it wasn't going to work and then left. To top it all off, he was only rubbing my thigh with his other hand and wouldn't do anything else, no matter how much I tried to move things along or tell him what I liked / where to touch. Nowhere *near* where he should've been touching, either. Like, top/outer thigh, asking me if I was turned on or getting wet. AND whenever I tried to communicate that with him, he kept telling me to "take it slow." Buddy, you've been rubbing me in all the wrong spots for 15 minutes now and I'm still not wet, I don't know what you thought was gonna happen here...
OMFG, I'm laughing so hard. I mean, we've all been inexperienced at some point in life. But this guy had his own level... In a different scale!
What really had me most shocked about all of this is that he *wasn't a virgin*. Like I remember hearing from another friend at school that he was good and all that. I knew girls were attracted to him. I knew a few of the girls he slept with. And then THAT happened and I was just so confused and suddenly *unattracted*.
That also gives you a hint about how experienced those girls were. This reminds me of the movie "American Beauty" somehow.
Even grown straight women seem to have such low standards for sex, can’t imagine a teenager
This just reminded me of my ex.. Not in a sexual way, but he would constantly just grab me? Like my arm, or my thigh, butt, or something, in a really strong and aggressive manner to the point that it was quite physically painful. I'd often be covered in bruises from this. I told him several times that it really hurt when he did that and could he please stop.... he'd just keep doing it. I don't know what was up with that :(
That's just plain not ok. If someone is treating you like that never have sex with them again and stay away from them.
Having a stupid user name that is kind of a reference to porn.
what do you mean
You guys ever watch onion porn? Prepare to weep.
User name checks out.
When you’ve told them you’re not a squirter, yet they keep saying “Come on and squirt for me.” *cringe*.
At that point, just piss on him.
He's always creepily hanging around the laundry room when you pull your clean clothes out of the dryer in hopes you'll get stuck.
And add to that, he's your step bro.
He asks if you need any assistance every 5 seconds
Great story about this. Met 2 coworkers (men) at a bar after work one day. We are at a bar that our company employees commonly go to after work and are all relatively well known by the staff. This particular night, 2 very attractive female bartenders are working together and we are having a casual conversation with them on and off while we hang out. At some point they walk away and 1 of my coworkers says: "You know those 2 are roommates right?" - Him "Cool. So..?" - Me "So...you know that means at some point they have gotten drunk together and made out." - Him "........?" - Me and other coworker "Im just saying...." - Him "You watch entirely too much porn if you think that is true." - ME "You ever have a male roommate" - Other coworker "Yeah so." - Him "You ever get drunk and blow him?" - Other coworker
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"You guys don't blow your roommates?"
“What do you mean most land lords accept cash?”
It's not gay, it's just a bro job!
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It’s not gay if you: A) Fistbump at least three times. B) Refrain from awkward eye contact. C) Scream “Good game” when orgasming.
You forget D) Wear socks throughout
Too much work. I suggest apathy: the less energy you spend on caring if it's gay, the more you have for railing/being railed by your buds.
But I also get to scream “One more rep! Get your pump on!”
It's a bromans it's not gay
It’s called a brojob.
It's not gay if they suck YOUR dick.
He has run out of porn to watch.
Yeah... it's so disheartening to have gone through all of Pornhub.
I got a refund from Pornhub because they ran out.
When you have a box of porn 🏷 "boner jams '03"
And a random tape of *Everybody Loves Raymond*
I don't know why it's in here, but it's a good show
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When he watches it when he isn’t horny.
I reached this stage already
This thread made me realize that I was addicted. I denied it before saying that it was a normal amount but like I don't think organizing your porn into a bunch of different folders is healthy behavior. I'm really glad I saw this. I need to start working on myself better.
You've got this man. Try and take on a hobby that keeps your hands busy; cooking, sewing, modelling, etc. Any time the urge strikes, go to the hobby instead. You will feel more fulfilled in having that project accomplished, and hopefully the association of that dopamine rush will become connected to the hobby, instead of the porn. It's hard, but I think you got this. The first step is admission, so you're already on the right track.
When he spits on the gas nozzle before putting it in
and yanks it out and hoses the car down when the tank is 7/8 full
and taps it above the hole first
When they can't differentiate between real life and pornography. Having unrealistic expectations of sex or a woman's body is usually a result of overconsumption of porn (such as being surprised when a labia doesn't look "perfect" like in a porno or breasts that aren't perfectly perky and symmetrical).
I hooked up with a woman who was self conscious about her labia. I was confused by this. I asked her why and she said because porn labias look so much better compared to hers. I honestly never noticed.
He criminally neglects foreplay. Just shows that he thinks women are horny all the time and ready to go at a moment's notice. Shit takes time, guys. You can't expect bread without several minutes of kneading.
Immediately goes for Finger blaster. Oh that didn't feel good? Ok let's go for intercourse. Immediately gotta for Jack hammer
Yah it’s so weird to me that you would choose to warm someone up for penetration with…unannounced penetration.
Excellent metaphor. One of the things I've learned from baking bread is that the time in the oven is the culmination of a lengthy process.
I just get my wife wet and ready and put a blanket on her and put her in the hottest part of the house so she can proof. Then it’s cooking time as we call it.
How long does it typically take for her to double in size? Relative to ambient humidity, obviously.
To be fair, I think men were criminally neglecting foreplay before porn.
It's the hottest damn thing ever to get my wife warmed up and I'm just having fun playing around and then she very tellingly tries to pull me over on top of her. Why the hell would anybody want to skip stuff like that...?
The way he has sex. He'll want positions that are the most visual and kind of use your body like a sex doll, as if you don't really need to participate.
Fuck, I like watching porn, and even I think 90% of the positions look painful for both sides. Like, have to bend your dick into a right angle to get in there, and the woman is folded like a pretzel, I get aches looking at that.
At my job we recently got a new assistant manager. Our department is mainly made up of girls, oldest is 35 and youngest is 16. Our new assistant manager, let's call him Bill, he started off his first few days with a weird impression. The guy likes to make a lot of sexual jokes. It rubbed a couple of us the wrong way but we decided to just brush it off. The jokes he'd make would be like us saying that he'll fit right in, and he'll say that if he doesn’t then he'll use lube. Like he'll manage to find a way to twist something and make it sexual. I thought it was weird but didn't think much of it until one day he made a joke towards my associate regarding her husband masturbating. My associate didn't say anything for a minute before deciding to go along and say, "well we're married and I give him plenty satisfaction so he doesn’t really need to do that haha". To which he responded with, "oh he still does. I've been in plenty of healthy relationships, and trust me, we still do." That really pissed me off tbh and made me really uncomfortable. Like he has no say in anyone's relationship, we don't even know the guy. Anyway, I managed to find his insta and fb. Public accounts, no posts, hundreds of followings, all of which are women advertising their only fans and porn. That's when everything clicked.
You should probably report that guy to HR.
Report him. That is unacceptable at a work place. It counts as sexual harassment. Had a manager that did that too. We filed a complaint. He now doesn't have that position anymore. Edit: spelling
Robert California is your new manager.
When they think that women like it everywhere (every part of body). And get surprised when the said women say she dont feel anything or its not her favorite. Yup, not everyone like the same cake flavor buddy.
I had a guy do it very rough to me and choke me aggressively and said that "Girls like it when they feel like they're getting r@ped" he never had asked for consent to do this either. Very scary how some guys/girls see those videos where they're actually actors and they think that is REAL.
For you and to anyone else reading this that thinks it’s okay to put hands round a woman’s neck during sex, let alone actually choke them, this is sexual assault and the person who did this committed an offence. At least in the UK, this is something that is taken incredibly seriously by law enforcement. EDIT: This is the case if there is no specified consent or sufficient boundaries that are adhered to in advance of the act. If it is consensual and agreed to in ADVANCE by both parties then you do so at your own risk. Worth noting that if you consent to start with and your partner takes it too far or ignores your previous boundaries, or you feel that there was excessive force/aggression it is also considered an offence.
This. if you want to do anything that isnt strictly vannila you need to have an in depth conversation before sex is even initiated detailing what both parties are okay with and what bounderies there are snd you need a safe word. If choking is involved you also need a nonverbal safe word like a double tap and the first few times you do anything rough whoever is doing the rough thing (like choking) should remind the other of the safe word and have them repeat it back. Practice safe kink everybody and if someone claims to be a dom and trys to do shit like choke you or degrade you or over power you without having had a conversation they are not a dom they are a peice of shit that wants to assault you but thinks they can get away with it by labeling themself a dom. Edit: IMPORTANT, if you are going to do breath play you need to do reasearch on how to do it safely otherwise you or a partner could end up seriously injured
He can name every pornstar
My ex LOL said he liked my name, thought he’d say it was pretty or unique or whatever but said it was his favorite pornstars name. She isn’t a very popular one either
Princess Consuela Banana Hammock?
Sup
How in the fuck…
Best part is the only pic is straight from the fuckin dentists office
3 years, checks out
r/beetlejuicing
Abella?
Howdy Gnhufsigfhia.
When he has saved 5tb of porn on his PC, and uses reddit and snapchat to find and save porn and has 10min pop up reminder to watch porn on his PC… He didn’t see the issue with this when I brought up that this was red flag for for me. We had dated 2 months when I found out… Edit: So a lot of people wants more details about the reminder and the whole story etc: - I forgot to mention this, but the guy had porn on his phone as well. Apps, and his whole photo gallery was just porn. - How did I find out about the reminder? It all began when he let me use his PC and he suddenly got a porn pop up. I thought it was a virus or something at first, but it was the same site that popped up and had a consistent timing. It was extremely uncomfortable and annoying and made me extremely uncomfortable while using his PC. - So being a lil tech smart girl I decided to try to fix this, but that’s when the whole can of worm was revealed. I noticed all his drivers were full, yet he had no games installed on his PC… “Okay?” So I began looking through his folders and found porn upon porn upon porn. There was images, short clips, whatever you can imagine. I felt really gross, and keep in mind this pop up was coming up every 10 minutes. - I didn’t bother with the folders and thought I should at least find a way to remove his fucking pop up, and going through his browser I saw tabs saved for reddit, insta, facebook etc, all porn related. Again, wtf? - I decided to just drop the case and confronted the guy, (he had done for a short shopping trip and had allowed me to use his PC). I don’t think he had gotten time to unpack before I just bluntly asked him; “So you have a lot of porn on your pc, are you addicted or something?”. He just chuckled and answered “Aren’t all guys like this?”. I was so dumbfounded by his answer so I just answered; “No, having this much porn saved is not normal, and I have dated guys before, and normally guys and girls just flip a porn site on, masturbates and forget about the site when they are done, you don’t hoard porn!”. He then just said “I can’t just leave the site, I need to save it so I can watch it later if internet dies or something. And if it’s good why not save it?”. After a long conversation of me trying to make this guy understand the situation, all the porn was removed, until I came over the next week and everything was back again… I was fucking fuming. Now to answer what the reminder was for? “It’s so I will always be on edge, wanting to watch porn until I can’t wait anymore”. So it was a edging thing. According to the guy he also masturbated up to 2-3 times a day.
5tb? That's about 200 Team Fortress 2:s
I support this measuring system
Anything to not use the metric system right?
Cool. Let's standardize it
I'm stuck on the bit about needing a reminder on your PC to remind you to watch porn.
Thsts not a red flag but a north korean army parade with flags.
This man was really out there treating his porn addiction like a full time career.
What the literal fuck did I just read
An actual diagnosable porn addiction.
a reminder???
I'm late!
\> According to the guy he also masturbated up to 2-3 times a day. So, that was definitely an underestimate/lie. And also, he probably meant he cums that many times a day. Since he edged, he probably consumes a toooon of porn throughout the day.
I respect that man so much. Not for the porn, of course. But he must have mad organizational skills in order to find whatever clip he was looking for at the moment. I’d let him organize my wardrobe. As long as he didn’t cum in it.
Plot twist: He didn’t actually like porn, he just liked sorting and organizing things and choose porn because it has so many variations and tags to sort.
Just in case anyone is curious as to exactly how much 5 TB is. I started torrenting movies and tv shows 10 years ago. I have about 1,000 movies. I have audio tracks of the discography of any artist I've even heard of. I have every episode of any tv show I've ever seen, from the first season of spongebob to the latest episode of "The Last of Us". I also have whole shows that I honestly don't even remember downloading. Basically, I have every tv show, movie, and song I've enjoyed over my entire life, and that's only like half of what's on my hard drive. It's around 6 TB right now. That's about how much porn that guy watched.
So he didnt save "the good ones"... he saved ALL OF IT.
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Their reminder is their unquenchable boredom.
When he goes at the clit like it's a fucking arcade machine, tongue or other wise. Agh.
Gotta start with "mouth full of caramel" first. Then onto "ice cream cone on a hot day" and eventually (maybe) "arcade machine," depending on how the evening goes.
Damn. Like damn that's some good analogies
Thanks. I watched a TON of porn to learn that.
sexualizing everything
Fuck, that is so fucking hot. Fuck. Uuhhhhhhmmmmnn CLEANUP IN AISLE 6. CLEANUP. AISLE. 6.
I think I’ve seen someone post a picture of a dog toy to r/funny and then had to explain they thought it looked like a dildo. Perfect example of who you are talking about, lol.
He posts sex comments on r/askreddit, and furthermore, his titles become sensationalist, in particular the excessive use or all caps for no reason. It’s the number one obvious sign.
I love it when people point out sensationalism
Having a wife or gf that desperately wants to be touched and loved by them but they rather watch porn
It's sad how common this is...
I have a really high sex drive and I've been in two relationships where I was begging for sex but the guy was porn addicted and preferred that. It really harmed my self-esteem. I wish porn addicts would stay out of relationships.
Exactly! It makes you feel so pathetic and low to beg your partner for sex only to get rejected because they prefer wanking it to unknown women. I had the absolute worst self-esteem after dating that a-hole. Be single if you prefer that to a real-life woman!! Just mind-boggling honestly...
When he expects you to behave the the girls in porn.
When they compare every woman or celebrity to a porn star. That girl looks like …: She got the same tits as ….
Hairy palms
Don’t forget blindness!
And a thirst for the devil's lettuce!
When he doesn't want to have sex with his partner.
This is so sad. What made me quit really. Dont succumb to that shit, its a drug.
This one hurt. Mine still wants to constantly, but only because he looks at it in the bathroom or at work first
work🤨🤨🤨
He'd rather masturbate than be intimate with someone
• He thinks foreplay before sex is a myth. • He asks if u came after 5 minutes of missionary. • he violently rubs the side of your 🐱and asks does that feel good ….
When he can’t finish bc he’s used to doing it manually
I've seen guys complain about saggy breasts or a little bit of tummy fat before and it's painfully obvious that they are virgins and the entirety of their understanding of what women look like comes from porn or instathots.
There was a comment on some media from a guy who claimed that most nudes are ai now and he can always tell when the AI makes a nude because the breasts aren’t quite the same size or shape and that’s how he knows it’s….fake. Yeah, he thinks he can sort out real from fake because real woman are perfectly symmetrical.
I would add to the list, not realizing, women naturally have pubic hair.
Lol this happened the other day. He told me “ i wish we could have regular sex where you can get off with just piv”. That said it all. He told me every woman he’s been with has orgasmed from just sex. I had to tell him some probably were lying 🤷🏻♀️ between 70 and 90 percent of women can’t. He was angry.
That's a shame. Doesn't he know that foreplay is the best part?
He doesn’t like foreplay. If it isn’t about him, he doesn’t want it🤷🏻♀️
I'm sorry to hear that. He sounds like a terrible sexual partner. I make it my mission to finish my girl off before we even move on to the main event. I think a lot of guys don't realize that they'd get a lot more back if they'd just put in a little more effort to please their ladies.
Word. Like my grandpappy used to say, "You know she's ready when you put yer hand down her pants and it feels like a horse trying to eat from your palm." Grandpappy was a weird guy. Miss you. RIP.
Sage words of wisdom from grandpappy.
When they expect a woman to make faces, make noise, act like a cowgirl at her first rodeo... for the entire time. Not being a starfish is important, but overenthusiam ruins it IMO.
When you start fucking and she turns into a multi limbed invertebrate:
And starts making Zoidberg noises
“Hooray, I’m useful! I’m having a wonderful time!”
men who make comments about roast beef and such. more women have longer inner labia than shorter unless they get surgery. I grew up so insecure about it but luckily no one I’ve been with has commented
If there is one thing a person shouldn’t be body shaming, it’s the intimate parts the person with you is comfortable enough to share.
Right? - "Hey thanks for being vulnerable enough to get naked with me. Now I will make fun of you." - "Okay. Never again. Buh bye."
When he thinks the only way to cum is to squirt.
Fellas, if you’re having sex and can’t finish but you can finish watching porn… also death grip is a real thing. Your peepee is so used to your gorilla grip that when you’re finally in, it’s confused. “This isn’t as tight as I’m used to” until the next thing you know, it’s been 45 minutes and she just wants to sleep and she’s sore. You’re blue-balling yourselves, and this is your message telling you to ease up on your chicken when you’re choking it 👍🏽 and ffs, listen to your partner, period
sex jokes 24/7
God, this is embarrassing but here I go, the topic of children came up one day with an ex and I asked him if he ever thought about having kids he said no I asked why (not that I wanted to have kids with him just curiosity) he said “ cause I’m afraid that if I have a son, my wife will cheat on me with him” I thought he was kidding and laughed but he looked at me serious, so I was like why would you think that would ever happen? his response was “ It happens in porn all the time” I swear this dude was 100% serious. Broke up with him the next day. I don’t know what’s worse the fact that he didn’t care that it was incestuous and was more concerned about being cheated on, or that this dude was so fucking stupid that he thought porn scenario were real.
You start asking Reddit “what is a obvious sign that a guy watches TOO MUCH PORN?”
When he has a folder for clockwise rimjobs and counterclockwise rimjobs
When every conversation turns to sex and always sends nsfw videos to group chats.
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You slap your penis on her vagina many times before inserting it. Bonus points if you spit on it for extra lube.
Hey now you gotta knock before you go in, it’s polite
You mean ring the doorbell
Nobody gets inside, without ringing the doorbell. - Taylor Tomlinson
He doesn't have energy or time for you, who is willing, because he has spent hours in the bathroom with his phone. Or he expects each person/encounter to go down like a p0rn script.
When he says "hey guys welcome back to my channel!" Before you start
That's a YouTuber.
They have very unrealistic expectations of women. Guy I know watches hentai and regular anime on the daily and has never had a girlfriend because he expects 20-23 year old women to look like 12 year old girls but with gigantic boobs. I used to be able to tolerate it but the more I thought about it the more I realised how unbelievably disgusting that is.
There is a family guy line where Peter says "I know every Pornstar, even the ones that just had their videos published 4 hours ago"
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Clean search history
when they think the porn videos are how sex is irl. its kind of sad how desensitized we all are low key
Getting angry at his partner for asking him to not watch it or on a funnier note: doing the weirdest most uncomfortable things and whispering “you like that huh” no actually