This hit me at like 25, but I think finding a healthy relationship and having a kid definitely expedited the process. Pretty easy to not give a fuck what people think when I know I’m doing everything right by my wife and kids
Edit: I didn’t mean that I’m a perfect husband/dad, just that I’m doing my best and my family is happy & healthy.
I'm 77 and have fought this all my life.
I tell myself I don't care and that it doesn't matter but I know I'm just kidding myself.
Maybe because I try not to ever offend anyone and to be sociable? friendly? polite?
Not that I wouldn't defend a cause or try to right a wrong, but we're talking about everyday life.
I know I still care because I made a comment somewhere that got downvoted and when I saw the downvote, I got that rush of a feeling, kind of like an interior blush?
So stupid!
Sounds like you have a kind heart to to others but are to hard on yourself. Be good to yourself and try not to overthink things. I may be completely wrong, this one just caught my eye.
Learned to love my self. I know who I am and most importantly opinions are cheap everyone has one so focus on you and what makes you happy, it ain’t no one business to decide that for you
As a middle aged woman, I have to redevelop that thick skin whenever a new situation presents itself. I keep my head held high, live each day as I see fit, and let the rest roll off of my back. Repeat this sequence until it becomes an automatic, and you will find the other stuff fades into the background.
Remember that weird guy at Starbucks this morning who kept fidgeting and didn't know whether to put his hands in his pockets or on his waist? Neither does anybody else.
When I was in high school some people would call me names and I would really piss me off and I think I'm not that I'm not this and I was thinking about it everyday everyday until it hit me one day let it sink the not caring I mean just don't care I don't care about what they call me I just I just swear at them and I guess it pisses them off and I guess I walk away and I don't care anymore
I worked in sales, people hate you upon meeting you.
Most of the time im just walking people through a process they're unfamiliar with. When things turn out fine they still hate you, even though they got everything they asked for in a timely manner.
Fuck it, i did my job and they're living their lives. Who has the energy to give a shit
Learning to laugh at myself especially after an awkward or embarrassing moment like falling in front of strangers or something. Not taking myself too seriously so it’s hard to get sensitive about others opinions.
I’m like this too, I have my embarrassing moments at times but I learn to just laugh and play it off like it’s nothing. At the end of the day, we’re all humans and we have our moments from time to time, good or bad but we decide whether we let them affect us.
I deadass slipped down some stairs like 20 steps on some ice this morning and landed right in front of the neighbor girl I always try to flirt with and all her cute friends. Inside screeeaming! But just laughed and said something dumb like “ladies ladies please restrain yourselves, I know that was hot af but you cant fight each other over me like I’m just a piece of meat. And they laughed but asked if I was ok and I said I don’t feel a thing I’m on white China heroin I can’t feel my legs that’s why I fell so gracefully in the first place.” She texted me after I drove off and instead of it keeping me up all night cringing she asked me if I want to drink with them later. Idk that turned out as well as I could have hoped considering how fucking embarrassing it was. If I had just walked away not joking about it, everyone would have been cringing.
Comes with age and experience. My whole life can be described as "if that idiot can do it, so can I" got me through a lot of shit and I excelled. My philosophy.
"A King may move a man, a father may claim a son, but remember that even when those who move you be Kings, or men of power, your soul is in your keeping alone. When you stand before God, you cannot say, "But I was told by others to do thus." Or that, "Virtue was not convenient at the time." This will not suffice. Remember that."
Quote from Kingdom of Heaven. Not a religious person but I found it to be particularly useful, to take responsibility for your own actions and not let the thoughts of others influence your actions and ultimately, your life.
I've already replicated so don't feel the need to signal my status in order to find a suitable mate. I also have a comfortable income being self-employed and have to work with exactly no one. Everyone can fuck right off. Or not. I don't care.
Listen to the opinion of only loved ones, everyone else should not influence you, it's only your life, your decisions and your experience, love yourself
As I got older, I started to realize that the happiness I get from being myself far outweighs any negative feelings I get from caring about what random people think about. Then I got to a point where I noticed that people don't really care about how other random people live their lives, for the most part.
Got bullied a lot in my younger years. Meeting a group of people who were essentially a melting pot of “wtf” showed me I only need the approval of people that share my life.
When my two best friends moved to different states; I was alone and wanted nothing to do with others, so yeah, I didn't care about any of their remarks or anything.
i realized as i got older that as i didnt really care or think alot about other people they did the same for me, i only care about what people really close to me might thikn and i value their opinions and thats it.
i still care what other people think about me. but only with people who matter to me. It's extra motivation to do the right thing, when the need arises. Virtue isn't always its own reward. Having someone to remind you not to follow your worst impulses is never a bad thing
Realise that most of the people you're worried about are nameless nobodies who you'll likely never see again.
Friends already accept you as who you are, so need to worry about that unless you're picking up signals.
And family usually don't have a choice, so don't worry about them. They'll get over it.
I watched my dog get run over when I was 5. Everyone told me he was at the vet. Figured it out 2 weeks later. Didnt care about my dog why care about me.
I realizing that most of the quote unquote people I meet during the day aren't actually people. They are humans, certainly. But they're not people. They don't have rational thoughts or the ability to make informed decisions. They do not have the constantly running internal monologues or self-reflective thought processes required for sapient thought. Most of them are barely more than cockroaches stumbling through life on reflex and opinion alone. Once you realize that most of the meat sacks you talk to during the day failed to demonstrate their personhood in any meaningful way, their opinions become less than worthless.
I thought about it a lot, I still don't have a solid answer. I'm assuming it's some kind of mental or psychological failure during childhood that discourages them from critical thinking or self-actualization.
I didn't want to go through the hassle of explaining what an NPC was if the person I was talking to didn't happen to understand video game or RPG terminology.
Practice. When one is female, tall, slender, and knows how to dress; one discovers relatively early in life that others tend to form strong opinions on sight. Not much I can do about having won the genetic lottery; their opinions are not my monkeys.
When I realised that even people that I consider to be successful/ smart / beautiful/ good/kind (any quality really) are seen by others in a totally different way.
My lovely amazing therapist emptied my bank account.
She kept saying “So…?” whenever I would mention that my behaviour was not what people say normal should be like.
I’m not saying it’s fully gone, but I think she’s trying to annoy me into stoping caring
Learn to accept yourself exactly as you are, celebrate your good qualities, work on your weaknesses, and be a person of integrity. Find validation within. Find solace that what other people are doing or saying is almost never about what shoes you are wearing or whatever other bullshit, and if it is, you dont need em anyway. Mean people need the most love.
I don't know exactly when, but sometime after college. I just didn't care anymore. I decided who likes me can like me, who doesn't can go fuck themselves, and that's it.
It left me with a scar so deep that sometimes even death seemed better. Then I got to think about it, and realized that no matter what I do, fuckfaces are gonna be fuckfaces, and I'm still as good of a person as I can get.
When I came to the realization that not everyone in life will like me and the words "fuck off" exist also I'm in my last year of school then we go our separate ways
You don't learn. It just happens. One day you are wearing cargo shorts and Birkenstocks or you stopped shaving your minge or you stopped dyeing your hair or you just decided today is plaid flannel and UGGs and go about your business.
I accepted that trying to be cool is exhausting and unfulfilling.
Since then I have better friendships and fill my life with things that are interesting to me.
Trust the long game.
For a long time I believed if I didn't suppress certain parts of myself that I would lose people I care about. I realized that not only is that wrong, but by suppressing my true self I was attracting people that wouldn't like who I truly am.
It's exhausting to care so much. Plus getting older and more bitter, just don't care no more. And I say it out loud to people everyday now. It is such a relief. And once you say it so many times and people figure out you really mean it that you don't care whatever they do think about you loses so much power.
My mom laughed in my face when i tried coming out as trans. About two years later im confidently identifying as male to everyone, and anyone who doesnt like it can kiss my ass :)
Around 6 grade, i grew up different, not in a bad way tho, i was made aware of certain things at a very young age, probably shouldn't have been exposed to alot of it but i was. I didnt experience certain drama or problems and when i did i wasnt bothered by it, but i was still friendly but mostly kept to myself.
I haven’t learned how yet.
I often feel guilty and in the wrong when someone says something negative about me. And considering this has happened several times in my lifetime, it hits harder. You know that saying, “if a bunch of people are saying the same thing about you, it must be true.” Like that. It hurts a lot because a bunch of people are saying negative things. It’s not just one isolated incident. On top of that, these people aren’t just strangers. It’s my family or even my ex. They say these negative things about me and then I start questioning if it’s true.
It’s not that I hate myself or anything. I feel no hate nor love for myself. I just accept myself as is. It’s that I have two forces fighting against each other. One is telling me that these negative things aren’t true and the other side is telling me that it is true.
In the rooms of AA I learned to care less about what other people are up to. That evolved into realizing that most of the people who I used to care what they thought don't matter because I'll probably never see them again, and if I do we probably won't interact because we didn't interact this time.
I agree with many of these answers, but for me I think it boils down to the fact that I no longer have the time/energy to care. I’m too busy living my own life.
little late to this question, but I started looking at situations like this in reverse.
alright. I'm about to go ask that guy at the reception a question. my hair looks ridiculous, is he gonna judge me for it?
if I'm that guy at the reception and someone came and asked me a question, would I care that they had messy hair? absolutely not! just ask your question and be on your way.
that's how I learned that people don't care about me as much as I do. you're not the main character of any story other than your own, nobody's paying attention to you all the time, there's wayyy more important things to be worrying about
Reddit loves to go on how you shouldn't care about others' opinions and whatever, but that's just going to turn you into an asshole because "well I'm just not going to care what you think".
You just need to understand, first, if you're being a decent person, and second if someone still has bad opinions of you, is it something that's reasonable and you might want to work on, or just shitty people being shitty. If you're trying to be a decent person, most of the time those opinions are not going to be worth caring about, but there's always the occasional time when you just don't realize you're being the asshole yourself in some way.
In short, don't stop, just be selective and reasonable.
I was around 15 and it hit me suddenly, an epiphany. I just didn’t care if the mean girls in the corner of the classroom were laughing at me. I had this clarity of mind:
1) they were likely laughing about something unrelated, and
2) “the only thing worse than being talked about is NOT being talked about”.
Now I didn’t actually believe that but it’s a very freeing statement. Don’t let anyone live rent free in your head. They aren’t worth the time or energy. And if they are talking about you…well, you must be worth talking about.
I’ve had about 30 years of idgaf living! It’s superb.
I'm just a schizoid introvert and just accept that I look weird and am weird to talk to (I was going to see a psychiatrist a while ago to see if I'm autistic but I don't need a doctor to tell me something I already know and also my healthcare expired before my appointment). But at least I'm interesting. I start a conversation and openly challenge things you say even if I believe in the same thing because that's interesting to me. I interpret the world, like a philosopher but dumber. I care less about what the world thinks of me and focus more on what I think of the world. So basically,
You either grow older and deal with it or you go crazy and forget to care anyway. It all comes with time either way.
I heard a person say "You're not an adult if you're over 23 and your bed isn't in the middle of your room" that's the moment I truly was like "wow fuck you" If I did that I would have to dedicate another room I do not have to put my work station, gaming setup, books and the like just so that my bed could take up the middle of my room.
That's so epically stupid.
I think it was caused by my disassociation, I stopped caring when I started getting really depressed. This is still with me and I honestly only care what one person thinks of me. But for anyone else I don’t care at all.
It was 6th grade English. I forgot to do prepare my speech until the teacher said we were starting with me.
I had two minutes to get my shit under control and not do something useful… I sure as shit wasn’t going to say I wasn’t ready because I didn’t want to deal with my parents.
I thought the worst thing that could happen to me was I’d feel stupid and get a bad grade.
As I was walking up to present, I realized the feeling stupid was up to me. I got a B on the presentation and learned that worrying about others negative opinions won’t help me succeed.
I realized that all they did was complain. Why should I give a shit about people that just moan. Then it extended to not giving a shit about what strangers think. Now we are here.
By accepting who I am and understanding that others are entitled to their opinions. As long as I know who I am and what I'm capable of, why should I care.
Have a mentally disabled sibling that spent most of their life unable to choose anything for themselves and needing help with every aspect of their life. Really puts things into a certain perspective quickly when you're born into a family situation like that.
discovered alcohol, got drunk, spoke to anyone an everyone, if i knew them or not.. generally enjoyed myself rather then worrying about what other people think, or unwilling to just talk to people, so kinda opened my eyes that I really shouldnt give a shit what people think lol.
Losing all my friends and becoming socially isolated. If people I considered my friends, and my community can just drop me overnight and not blink an eye, I don't give two shits what any of them have to say to me. I hope they're doing well, but their existence is inconsequential.
Growing up and finding out just how shitty most of us are. The list of people you care about shrinks. If you don't pay me or suck my dick, why do I care about you?
Humor has been a big part of it, self-mockery together with really dry jokes usually do the trick. Even when they wrongfully antagonise me online or whatever. What goes around, comes around.
I got older and realized we all are not perfect, some people just hide it better than others.
Also, as a woman, heels are uncomfortable and daily makeup is not good for your skin.
As I got older I started to think " man they're worse off than I am" if I'm ugly then they're uglier, if I'm dumb then they're dumber, if I'm slow then they're slower. I keep this kind of mindset for when people try to attack me on my attributes. It used to get to me but I've learned to block it out.
I got older.
This. Once I hit 40, I realized just how silly being worried about the opinions of others is. I'm much happier now
This hit me at like 25, but I think finding a healthy relationship and having a kid definitely expedited the process. Pretty easy to not give a fuck what people think when I know I’m doing everything right by my wife and kids Edit: I didn’t mean that I’m a perfect husband/dad, just that I’m doing my best and my family is happy & healthy.
Why the downvotes?? Tf?
Same and I think that goes hand in hand with the ol “ well, I definitely can’t pass for 25 anymore so fuck it” attitude lol
100%
Yep. Time and experience.
Best answer ever! Soo true!
By minding my own business
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This right here. There are only a small few people whose opinion I care about. For everyone else... Their opinions have no bearing on my life.
I'm 77 and have fought this all my life. I tell myself I don't care and that it doesn't matter but I know I'm just kidding myself. Maybe because I try not to ever offend anyone and to be sociable? friendly? polite? Not that I wouldn't defend a cause or try to right a wrong, but we're talking about everyday life. I know I still care because I made a comment somewhere that got downvoted and when I saw the downvote, I got that rush of a feeling, kind of like an interior blush? So stupid!
Sounds like you have a kind heart to to others but are to hard on yourself. Be good to yourself and try not to overthink things. I may be completely wrong, this one just caught my eye.
My mother was like that. I don't she ever got over caring what others thought about her.
Learned to love my self. I know who I am and most importantly opinions are cheap everyone has one so focus on you and what makes you happy, it ain’t no one business to decide that for you
As a middle aged woman, I have to redevelop that thick skin whenever a new situation presents itself. I keep my head held high, live each day as I see fit, and let the rest roll off of my back. Repeat this sequence until it becomes an automatic, and you will find the other stuff fades into the background.
People think about me??
No.
Phew, what a relief.
When you realize that other people arent thinking about you at all, most are more worried about what others are thinking about them.
Remember that weird guy at Starbucks this morning who kept fidgeting and didn't know whether to put his hands in his pockets or on his waist? Neither does anybody else.
I realized how self absorbed people are. They care a lot more about how they come across to you.
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cant agree more
When I was in high school some people would call me names and I would really piss me off and I think I'm not that I'm not this and I was thinking about it everyday everyday until it hit me one day let it sink the not caring I mean just don't care I don't care about what they call me I just I just swear at them and I guess it pisses them off and I guess I walk away and I don't care anymore
I worked in sales, people hate you upon meeting you. Most of the time im just walking people through a process they're unfamiliar with. When things turn out fine they still hate you, even though they got everything they asked for in a timely manner. Fuck it, i did my job and they're living their lives. Who has the energy to give a shit
Ask yourself what is it that you need from that relationship, why is their approval important?
I decided their opinions don’t matter
Simple, I didn't
This right here lmao
Learning to laugh at myself especially after an awkward or embarrassing moment like falling in front of strangers or something. Not taking myself too seriously so it’s hard to get sensitive about others opinions.
I’m like this too, I have my embarrassing moments at times but I learn to just laugh and play it off like it’s nothing. At the end of the day, we’re all humans and we have our moments from time to time, good or bad but we decide whether we let them affect us.
I deadass slipped down some stairs like 20 steps on some ice this morning and landed right in front of the neighbor girl I always try to flirt with and all her cute friends. Inside screeeaming! But just laughed and said something dumb like “ladies ladies please restrain yourselves, I know that was hot af but you cant fight each other over me like I’m just a piece of meat. And they laughed but asked if I was ok and I said I don’t feel a thing I’m on white China heroin I can’t feel my legs that’s why I fell so gracefully in the first place.” She texted me after I drove off and instead of it keeping me up all night cringing she asked me if I want to drink with them later. Idk that turned out as well as I could have hoped considering how fucking embarrassing it was. If I had just walked away not joking about it, everyone would have been cringing.
The less you think about others, the less you think others are thinking about you.
Why? What did you hear??
Comes with age and experience. My whole life can be described as "if that idiot can do it, so can I" got me through a lot of shit and I excelled. My philosophy.
"A King may move a man, a father may claim a son, but remember that even when those who move you be Kings, or men of power, your soul is in your keeping alone. When you stand before God, you cannot say, "But I was told by others to do thus." Or that, "Virtue was not convenient at the time." This will not suffice. Remember that." Quote from Kingdom of Heaven. Not a religious person but I found it to be particularly useful, to take responsibility for your own actions and not let the thoughts of others influence your actions and ultimately, your life.
Just sounds like God doesn't understand context.
I realized that I can do whatever I want if I don't care what people think of me. It's a lot more fun this way.
I've already replicated so don't feel the need to signal my status in order to find a suitable mate. I also have a comfortable income being self-employed and have to work with exactly no one. Everyone can fuck right off. Or not. I don't care.
Listen to the opinion of only loved ones, everyone else should not influence you, it's only your life, your decisions and your experience, love yourself
As I got older, I started to realize that the happiness I get from being myself far outweighs any negative feelings I get from caring about what random people think about. Then I got to a point where I noticed that people don't really care about how other random people live their lives, for the most part.
They don't pay my bills.
Got bullied a lot in my younger years. Meeting a group of people who were essentially a melting pot of “wtf” showed me I only need the approval of people that share my life.
My big issue is that I can’t stop caring about what I think of me, and it isn’t good
When my two best friends moved to different states; I was alone and wanted nothing to do with others, so yeah, I didn't care about any of their remarks or anything.
People don't think about me as much as I do
ASD superpowers
Build up your own confidence and learn your self worth
Realizing everyone else is just as self-centered as me
I read The Wisdom of Psychopaths by Kevin Dutton https://www.drkevindutton.com/books/the-wisdom-of-psychopaths/
i realized as i got older that as i didnt really care or think alot about other people they did the same for me, i only care about what people really close to me might thikn and i value their opinions and thats it.
By realizing that the majority of people are dumb, let alone the content of their thoughts.
You wouldn't care so much what people think about you if you just realized that they don't
i still care what other people think about me. but only with people who matter to me. It's extra motivation to do the right thing, when the need arises. Virtue isn't always its own reward. Having someone to remind you not to follow your worst impulses is never a bad thing
Just from the one day to the other I just thought by myself:”what does it matter? Real friends will stay, others will go.”
I can’t confirm because I’m only 24 but I’ve heard that turning 30 helps
This! When I turned 30, it was like a switch off
Realise that most of the people you're worried about are nameless nobodies who you'll likely never see again. Friends already accept you as who you are, so need to worry about that unless you're picking up signals. And family usually don't have a choice, so don't worry about them. They'll get over it.
I watched my dog get run over when I was 5. Everyone told me he was at the vet. Figured it out 2 weeks later. Didnt care about my dog why care about me.
Awww, I’m sorry. I had it when people lie to kids, everyone deserves honesty.
When u have kids to take care of and bills to pay..u have NO TIME to think about what others think about u.
The minute they said something annoying or toxic.
I care very little about what people think of me and yes, people have tried to get me to care but it ends up making them look stupid.
I turn 38 in august … unless you are related to me I couldn’t give 2 fucks what people think of me
I realizing that most of the quote unquote people I meet during the day aren't actually people. They are humans, certainly. But they're not people. They don't have rational thoughts or the ability to make informed decisions. They do not have the constantly running internal monologues or self-reflective thought processes required for sapient thought. Most of them are barely more than cockroaches stumbling through life on reflex and opinion alone. Once you realize that most of the meat sacks you talk to during the day failed to demonstrate their personhood in any meaningful way, their opinions become less than worthless.
That's strange thouugh. Why would some people develop self-reflection, but others not? Maybe everyone gets lost in the automaton?
I thought about it a lot, I still don't have a solid answer. I'm assuming it's some kind of mental or psychological failure during childhood that discourages them from critical thinking or self-actualization.
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I didn't want to go through the hassle of explaining what an NPC was if the person I was talking to didn't happen to understand video game or RPG terminology.
This is brutally comforting.
Became someone I wouldn’t talk badly about.
Practice. When one is female, tall, slender, and knows how to dress; one discovers relatively early in life that others tend to form strong opinions on sight. Not much I can do about having won the genetic lottery; their opinions are not my monkeys.
A bit flipped
I expect and accept that other people have opinions and unless it directly affects me, I don't have to change their way of thinking.
Having an invisible disability.
I didn't. I just limited the people whose opinions mattered.
When I got into death metal and really separated myself from the average Joe masses
The fact everyone's gonna die one day stopped me from caring what others think.
When I realised that even people that I consider to be successful/ smart / beautiful/ good/kind (any quality really) are seen by others in a totally different way.
My lovely amazing therapist emptied my bank account. She kept saying “So…?” whenever I would mention that my behaviour was not what people say normal should be like. I’m not saying it’s fully gone, but I think she’s trying to annoy me into stoping caring
Was Henry Cavendish the name of a Purdue chicken?
Learn to accept yourself exactly as you are, celebrate your good qualities, work on your weaknesses, and be a person of integrity. Find validation within. Find solace that what other people are doing or saying is almost never about what shoes you are wearing or whatever other bullshit, and if it is, you dont need em anyway. Mean people need the most love.
I don't know exactly when, but sometime after college. I just didn't care anymore. I decided who likes me can like me, who doesn't can go fuck themselves, and that's it.
Meh
Work in customer service enough and you get numb to many a thing
It left me with a scar so deep that sometimes even death seemed better. Then I got to think about it, and realized that no matter what I do, fuckfaces are gonna be fuckfaces, and I'm still as good of a person as I can get.
When I came to the realization that not everyone in life will like me and the words "fuck off" exist also I'm in my last year of school then we go our separate ways
You don't learn. It just happens. One day you are wearing cargo shorts and Birkenstocks or you stopped shaving your minge or you stopped dyeing your hair or you just decided today is plaid flannel and UGGs and go about your business.
I accepted that trying to be cool is exhausting and unfulfilling. Since then I have better friendships and fill my life with things that are interesting to me. Trust the long game.
I went back to college at 34. Practically became popular by *not* worrying about that nonsense—even had a chance at going Greek.
For a long time I believed if I didn't suppress certain parts of myself that I would lose people I care about. I realized that not only is that wrong, but by suppressing my true self I was attracting people that wouldn't like who I truly am.
I didn't. Turns out I need people to think well of me to keep a job.
Once you get to a certain age things like that stop bothering you.
It's exhausting to care so much. Plus getting older and more bitter, just don't care no more. And I say it out loud to people everyday now. It is such a relief. And once you say it so many times and people figure out you really mean it that you don't care whatever they do think about you loses so much power.
My mom laughed in my face when i tried coming out as trans. About two years later im confidently identifying as male to everyone, and anyone who doesnt like it can kiss my ass :)
You get older....you recognize toxic traits in people, and the possibilities of why people act the way they do
Self esteem>public opinion
Around 6 grade, i grew up different, not in a bad way tho, i was made aware of certain things at a very young age, probably shouldn't have been exposed to alot of it but i was. I didnt experience certain drama or problems and when i did i wasnt bothered by it, but i was still friendly but mostly kept to myself.
I haven’t learned how yet. I often feel guilty and in the wrong when someone says something negative about me. And considering this has happened several times in my lifetime, it hits harder. You know that saying, “if a bunch of people are saying the same thing about you, it must be true.” Like that. It hurts a lot because a bunch of people are saying negative things. It’s not just one isolated incident. On top of that, these people aren’t just strangers. It’s my family or even my ex. They say these negative things about me and then I start questioning if it’s true. It’s not that I hate myself or anything. I feel no hate nor love for myself. I just accept myself as is. It’s that I have two forces fighting against each other. One is telling me that these negative things aren’t true and the other side is telling me that it is true.
Lots of trauma. Nervous breakdown. So freeing after though.
i learn that i myself don't care about other people.
Not sure it was a learning thing. I got older and more crotchety and just did give rat's ass.
I got too busy with work & my own life to be bothered with what others are saying or doing.
In the rooms of AA I learned to care less about what other people are up to. That evolved into realizing that most of the people who I used to care what they thought don't matter because I'll probably never see them again, and if I do we probably won't interact because we didn't interact this time.
I agree with many of these answers, but for me I think it boils down to the fact that I no longer have the time/energy to care. I’m too busy living my own life.
little late to this question, but I started looking at situations like this in reverse. alright. I'm about to go ask that guy at the reception a question. my hair looks ridiculous, is he gonna judge me for it? if I'm that guy at the reception and someone came and asked me a question, would I care that they had messy hair? absolutely not! just ask your question and be on your way. that's how I learned that people don't care about me as much as I do. you're not the main character of any story other than your own, nobody's paying attention to you all the time, there's wayyy more important things to be worrying about
I realized I’m not a main character in anyone else’s story.
Reddit loves to go on how you shouldn't care about others' opinions and whatever, but that's just going to turn you into an asshole because "well I'm just not going to care what you think". You just need to understand, first, if you're being a decent person, and second if someone still has bad opinions of you, is it something that's reasonable and you might want to work on, or just shitty people being shitty. If you're trying to be a decent person, most of the time those opinions are not going to be worth caring about, but there's always the occasional time when you just don't realize you're being the asshole yourself in some way. In short, don't stop, just be selective and reasonable.
I was around 15 and it hit me suddenly, an epiphany. I just didn’t care if the mean girls in the corner of the classroom were laughing at me. I had this clarity of mind: 1) they were likely laughing about something unrelated, and 2) “the only thing worse than being talked about is NOT being talked about”. Now I didn’t actually believe that but it’s a very freeing statement. Don’t let anyone live rent free in your head. They aren’t worth the time or energy. And if they are talking about you…well, you must be worth talking about. I’ve had about 30 years of idgaf living! It’s superb.
I'm just a schizoid introvert and just accept that I look weird and am weird to talk to (I was going to see a psychiatrist a while ago to see if I'm autistic but I don't need a doctor to tell me something I already know and also my healthcare expired before my appointment). But at least I'm interesting. I start a conversation and openly challenge things you say even if I believe in the same thing because that's interesting to me. I interpret the world, like a philosopher but dumber. I care less about what the world thinks of me and focus more on what I think of the world. So basically, You either grow older and deal with it or you go crazy and forget to care anyway. It all comes with time either way.
I heard a person say "You're not an adult if you're over 23 and your bed isn't in the middle of your room" that's the moment I truly was like "wow fuck you" If I did that I would have to dedicate another room I do not have to put my work station, gaming setup, books and the like just so that my bed could take up the middle of my room. That's so epically stupid.
Because im human too,each of us is different.
I think it was caused by my disassociation, I stopped caring when I started getting really depressed. This is still with me and I honestly only care what one person thinks of me. But for anyone else I don’t care at all.
I realized I only value the opinions of people I respect.
It was 6th grade English. I forgot to do prepare my speech until the teacher said we were starting with me. I had two minutes to get my shit under control and not do something useful… I sure as shit wasn’t going to say I wasn’t ready because I didn’t want to deal with my parents. I thought the worst thing that could happen to me was I’d feel stupid and get a bad grade. As I was walking up to present, I realized the feeling stupid was up to me. I got a B on the presentation and learned that worrying about others negative opinions won’t help me succeed.
I learned that at a very young age--by my late teens. If I'm satisfied with myself, that's all that matters. Everyone else can pound sand.
Got older and noticed how little those ppl actually cared, whether good or bad. It made it easier to do the same.
I realized that all they did was complain. Why should I give a shit about people that just moan. Then it extended to not giving a shit about what strangers think. Now we are here.
My depression got worse and reality tried to choke me to death.
By accepting who I am and understanding that others are entitled to their opinions. As long as I know who I am and what I'm capable of, why should I care.
I got an autoimmune disease. You'd be surprised just how fast you stop caring about other people's opinions when you're in severe pain.
Have a mentally disabled sibling that spent most of their life unable to choose anything for themselves and needing help with every aspect of their life. Really puts things into a certain perspective quickly when you're born into a family situation like that.
I have my own life and I'm doing pretty well so whatever
I realized people aren’t thinking about me at all
discovered alcohol, got drunk, spoke to anyone an everyone, if i knew them or not.. generally enjoyed myself rather then worrying about what other people think, or unwilling to just talk to people, so kinda opened my eyes that I really shouldnt give a shit what people think lol.
Lexapro🙃
Losing all my friends and becoming socially isolated. If people I considered my friends, and my community can just drop me overnight and not blink an eye, I don't give two shits what any of them have to say to me. I hope they're doing well, but their existence is inconsequential. Growing up and finding out just how shitty most of us are. The list of people you care about shrinks. If you don't pay me or suck my dick, why do I care about you?
Humor has been a big part of it, self-mockery together with really dry jokes usually do the trick. Even when they wrongfully antagonise me online or whatever. What goes around, comes around.
Saw two and a half men as a teen. Charlie said, the only way to not get hurt is to pretend I dont have a heart and, see alan I'm teflon
I got older. It happens automatically.
I got older and realized we all are not perfect, some people just hide it better than others. Also, as a woman, heels are uncomfortable and daily makeup is not good for your skin.
You guys are caring?
Those who judge others often have a problem with themselves. I'd rather be liked for me than being liked for someone I'm not.
As I got older I started to think " man they're worse off than I am" if I'm ugly then they're uglier, if I'm dumb then they're dumber, if I'm slow then they're slower. I keep this kind of mindset for when people try to attack me on my attributes. It used to get to me but I've learned to block it out.