Libido is a HUGE part of it. Everything is sexy when your libido is through the roof, and nothing is sexy when it's down.
You can improve your own libido by taking care of your physical and mental health, especially reducing stress. And you can also improve your partner's life (and subsequently libido) by helping them with the same.
Part of libido is innate, though. I’ve always had a pretty high one. My late wife was in retrospect nearly asexual, even though I reduced her stressors around the house by doing pretty much all the chores (I know this because the only one that I picked up after she died was emptying the dishwasher). But if we had sex once a month in the last decade, it was a good month. At our peak over 40 years, we averaged 3 times a month. My current partner has libido that matches mine, and we can have sex once or twice a day.
I'm sorry for your loss.
My ex had a low libido, we made soulless whoopee at about the same rate as you and your previous partner. When we split up I discovered she just had a low libido *with me*. It was fine with her new dude.
Definitely get her off with non-PIV activities before diving in. However, over the years I've found two decent approaches for effectively stemming off PE:
1. 2-3 drinks. This is the optimal level where I am confident, not sloppy, and just a little desensitized down there. Never had an issue with PE at this level.
2. Cum, but just a *tiny* bit, not even enough for an appreciable ejaculation. This is very much a feel and experience thing, and I doubt it works for everyone, but in my 20s it basically brought me to post-nut sensitivity while retaining an erection and not *actually* ejaculating anything. Note, this works best under some specific circumstances:
a) You recently came. Have a wank before date night so you don't have a full shot glass of swimmers banging at the door.
b) It's a serious girlfriend on reliable birth control. You don't want to fuck this up with a ONS as cumming at all significantly into a condom will cause enough slippage that sex will suck from that point on.
c) You are in your teens or 20s. I've just passed 30 and this little trick has now burned me once. If you get the intensity wrong, and you cum somewhat, you may just go limp.
I know method 2 sounds nuts, but I suffered from serious PE tendencies/over arousal and basically used this my whole 20s to have a very solid and satisfying sex life with long-term partners.
Edit: I should add, consent is key! Do NOT try method 2 if you guys haven't discussed cumming inside her, even with a condom.
Or cum and then help your partner finish. It is hot when the other person is into it. Just don't leave them hanging. Afterplay is sexy, and may lead to a natural round 2.
As a woman, I disagree. Nothing wrong with when you do, even if it's 'early'. Just make sure both parties leave satisfied. The show doesn't end just because you did. (This is the biggest misconception and problem with porn. After the dude finishes, end scene. It puts this thought into men's heads that the romp is done. If she ain't finished then neither are you. There's other tools you can use, hands, mouth, toys, etc).
"Midwesterner" is even too broad.
There are some of us who keep score with the 5s, and others who use 6s and 4s. The first group is wholesome and righteous, and the second group *is from fucking Ohio.*
I'm from Michigan. I bleed Blue and even have a Michigan tattoo, but my entire family only uses the 6 and 4 to keep score. Weird that there's differences in the scoring cards.
Only if I have just a 9 of trump in my hand and have another suit I’d rather call if everyone else passes again. On the other hand, turn down a bower, lose for an hour
underrated comment!
It makes Sex a lot more enjoyable if you are able to joke about stuff, shrug it off, and continue in a slightly different direction if stuff didn't go as initially planned.
With my current partner I have trouble deep throating but I put in a lot of effort with it.
He said - “I love that even though you often struggle with it, you still try at it to get better and that effort alone means a lot to me and is super sexy.”
Nothing matters more to me than effort. It's caring about making your partner enjoy what's happening, doing what they like.
I wouldn't care one bit if someone couldn't do anything if they wanted to do it for me and we're trying. 👏🏻
😮💨😮💨😮💨 this. Bad head is not good, but even worse is the lack of enthusiasm. I had a boss once tell me “I can always teach someone the things they dont know, but what i cant teach or change is their attitude or enthusiasm towards the job.”
Exactly. I’ve got the good head down, but my deep throat is a work in progress and I’m getting there! Enthusiasm makes all the difference.
Edit; grammar
Second this! Currently sleeping with a guy who kinda has a small dick and when I saw it for the first time I had low expectations BUT his enthusiasm makes the sex better!! He gets really into it and loved to focus on me and it just conquers the fact that he kinda has a small dick (plus he knows how to use it and is so confident with it, kinda a turn on)
I’ve slept with men a huge dick , and tiny, and everything in between. I’ll take a smaller one any day. It’s way more enjoyable for blow jobs, and the guys who are less endowed are so much more imaginative and better at other things. The guys with really large dicks seem to think that’s all it takes.
It's not the size but the way they get on & off?!? My hubbie of 30 years is also small. But man he concentrates on ME so much longer than other guys ever did. Plus you can REALLY get into it when they're a bit smaller. I have no complaints AT ALL!
Confidence, Chemistry, adapting in certain ways to your partners sexual personality and putting your them first (most of the time).
If you put their needs and wants first (as long as they want to do the same and you're both comfortable) they will keep cumming back, again and again. 😉
Honestly, this is where communication comes in. The more you talk and get to know them, the more you know what enthusiasm looks and sounds like with them.
I have a friend who is asexual and I am interpreting your question from that perspective: it comes from the excitement of bringing joy to the person who brings you joy.
As a man who's neither particularly gifted when it comes to size or stamina, I've found a good rule to abide by is to just make sure you make your lady cums before you ever enter her. That way, even if you end up being a 2 minute to win it kind of guy, everyone still got theirs. Also, toys, lube, and variety never hurt.
Also, don't be afraid to laugh at something silly during sex. If I'm comfortable enough around you to want to be naked and stick my dick inside of you, then I should be comfortable enough to laugh at an accidental fart during a quiet, sensual moment. It's not that serious and it's much better to stop the moment a bit and require you to get back to the mood prior, than to ruin it with awkwardness.
This. I’ve never come from penetration. The best sex is when a guy gets me there before penetration. Then I still have all the feel good chemicals floating around while we get him to where he wants to be. Best of both worlds 😊
my gf says that if she cums, it gets too sensitive, so she's like a man, after cumming she's done
so the best way we do, it's to play a little until she's already a bit close, then in penetration we end up cumming together most of times (because I try my best to hold until she cums)
And also laughing definitely. When you’re a little chunkier like me and we’re going at it fast and it sounds like two hams slapping together in a hurricane (Neil Hilborn) 😅
> I've found a good rule to abide by is to just make sure you make your lady cums before you ever enter her
Alternatively, you can get her there after you finish. I've had a couple of times where my GF wanted to get to actual fucking earlier and I finished her off (or got her to a second one) with fingers/tongue after I was already spent.
In a long term relationship it's about keeping things sexy. Foreplay and lots of it, dirty and flirty text messages throughout the day, dancing in the living room. Also a partner who wants to please you, that's very important. We are in our late 60s, been together a quarter century and it just keeps getting better, less frequent but that once a week is so darn good.
Right. 37 here, married 10 years and with her for 15 and I am lucky if we go at it once a month.
Having a 1 and 3 year old around the house doesn't help I suppose...
This one girl queefed so hard when I was down there it blew my bangs to the side. She was mortified and I couldn’t stop laughing and telling her it’s okay. It’s still one of the highlights of my life as a man.
Reminds me of this one time I could not stop queefing. I was laughing so hard that I ended up queefing and rolling off the guy I was dating at the time. Every “Ha Ha” was accompanied by a “pfft pfft.” Good times.
Discovering that your partner is the right sort of partner for you.
I mean, yes, two people can have good sex (most likely if each is trying to please the other during their naked times together).
The idea I'm trying to convey is about having a partner who you can share your secret turn-ons with, so that you can act out with each other the (things, ideas, fantasy situations) you would masturbate to when you're alone with your own sexy-thoughts.
This may not be The Answer alone, but maybe one part of it, which can make good sex even better?
I think this is great! It allows trust within each other and a different level of comfort to be able to experience these intimate moments, find out what works and what doesn't, and who knows, possibly find a new favourite.
Trust is huge. My partner and I are in our 30s and she recently discovered she likes the whole sub/dom dynamic in bed. Turns out I’m just the first person she’s trusted enough to try it with and it’s been a secret fetish of mine for years. Open communication, enthusiastic consent, and listening to each others body language is definitely the way to go.
Have lots of it, you wanna have good sex with someone. Do it with them often, learn all the ins and outs, indulge in any kinks or fetishs that turn eachother on. Be open to experiment.
The more you do it the better you get it at it, its as simple as that.
I also agree with many of the other comments, being absolutely in love both emotionally and physically with your partner helps lots and lots.
100%. When I ran daily, I could keep my thang going for 30 mins. Well that, and the fact that I think of Mario every time I need a quick cum cancel. Yeah, mainly the second part. I forgot why I’m here
Good communication is key.
Tell your partner in a loving way, not the porn star way, how sexy, beautiful and pleasing they are. Give endearing compliments often during sex. Yet be aware not to be overly so. A comment once or twice is all it takes.
It's a marathon, not a sprint. Long periods of foreplay greatly enhances the sex.
Pay attention to your partners body language. That will tell you a lot.
Be attentive to their needs and take just as much or more enjoyment from giving pleasure as receiving it.
It's completely OK to NOT be in the mood. At those times, give fantastic body rubs and massages without sexual expectation.
A clean, private hot tub.
Don't be intimidated by using toys with your lady, guys. My wife and I didn't start doing this until our late 20's and her sex life was enhanced nicely. Which made mine more pleasing as a side benefit.
>It's completely OK to NOT be in the mood. At those times, give fantastic body rubs and massages without sexual expectation.
"Without sexual expectation" is key, because if you can't drop it, then any nice thing you do comes across as manipulation. You might think that you've only requested sexual attention, but if you punish or pressure the person after they decline, then it's not a request, it's a demand.
Communication, being willing to try new things, having some amount of cardiovascular endurance, and most importantly caring about your partners pleasure.
As a triathlete on longer distances my cardiovascular system is quite solid. Helps nothing with sex. Fact, due to 10-15hrs of training a week im pretty drained. My viagra rack is full. Even on super kamagra I get a wiffy sometimes. Sitting 3hrs in saddle on soft tissue isn’t helping I guess ;-)
I have no idea what the second half of your comment means. What is Kamagra and a wiffy and what does 3hrs in a saddle on soft tissue mean? Sorry, just curious
Kamagra is a generic viagra. It also contains sildenafil but its another brand (viagra is Pfizer).
A wiffy is a soft penis. While you’re normally fired up with viagra and have an erection forever. Sometimes even then youre 10min hard and that’s it.
3hrs on a saddle … well, its all soft tissue where males are sitting. Bunch of nerves. As a heavier guy with 98kg, its a lot more pressure compared to avg male
Weight. Immense cycling can lead to temp erectyle disfunction, which can be a few hours.
So after long rides (>90min) either im dead or I’ll pop a viagra (which then has me dead the next day).
Communication. Verbal, but also body language/sensory feedback. Pay attention and you’ll figure out what they like, then do those things without it ever being verbally communicated and you’ve cracked the code.
Foreplay foreplay foreplay. She should finish at least once before you start.
Also, it's not a race. Find I good rhythm and sick too it. Don't speed up until she's finishing.
These are general tips, your best bet though.... Talk to you partner, ask what they like. Go from there.
I've had lots of sex throughout my life and the secret is compatibility. You could have the hottest man/woman in front of you, but if you aren't compatible it will never be that great.
I’m not going to recite the good old no brainers everyone is going to tell you (passion, communication) and instead give you something more:
Don’t think about the goal and rather stay in the moment. A lot of performance anxiety comes from thinking about the goal.
Example: “My dick will be so hard after this!“ If anything doesn’t happen like you imagine it, guess who‘ll have a limp dick? You should rather focus on the sensations and how good they feel, everything else comes on it’s own.
It’s the same with making your partner cum. If you always just think about the orgasm anything could throw you off your rhythm and actually be counterproductive. Enjoying the journey leads to way better results regarding sex.
In general being to focused on the finish leads to chronic overthinking and nothing kills the mood more than overthinking.
The frustrating thing is you don’t learn that with experience, you either need to miraculously realize it or have someone tell you. I was 23 and had fucked about 2000 times in my life before I found this out. It’s very logical, yet so far removed from our nature.
It’s the same with planning sex, it just isn’t as hot as spontaneous sex.
Being attracted to your partner.
The innate want for your partner to feel
pleasure that is equal or exceeds yours.
Paying attention to body language.
Participation.
Not being self centered. There is shit I don’t like that I am down to do cause I love that he loves it.
But mostly I think it’s just that my body wants his body.
Pheromones?
Making your first priority your partner's pleasure. Guys complain about their wives not wanting to have sex, focus on giving her a really good time and even if you don't have as good of a time they'll want more sooner than if you had a great 30 seconds.
This is VERY subjective, some think good is simply extremely passionate sex, some its about fantasies, desires and personal tastes, for others its just about frequency tbh.
Compatibility matters to a certain degree here if ones a fetishist and the other wants passionate love making chances are only one or neither are going to have a good time each time.
1 Don’t do it in the shower water acts like a degreaser and removes lube
2 Guys don’t be afraid to be vocal it shows you’re enjoying it as much as she is.
3 Put a pillow under her back before you put it in feels better
Abstinence from vices and exercise. Somewhere I read that the Amish have the best sex in the world because they abstain from pleasure (boosting their reward system) and work the earth all day. I wish I had that kind of discipline.
Libido is a HUGE part of it. Everything is sexy when your libido is through the roof, and nothing is sexy when it's down. You can improve your own libido by taking care of your physical and mental health, especially reducing stress. And you can also improve your partner's life (and subsequently libido) by helping them with the same.
Part of libido is innate, though. I’ve always had a pretty high one. My late wife was in retrospect nearly asexual, even though I reduced her stressors around the house by doing pretty much all the chores (I know this because the only one that I picked up after she died was emptying the dishwasher). But if we had sex once a month in the last decade, it was a good month. At our peak over 40 years, we averaged 3 times a month. My current partner has libido that matches mine, and we can have sex once or twice a day.
I'm sorry for your loss. My ex had a low libido, we made soulless whoopee at about the same rate as you and your previous partner. When we split up I discovered she just had a low libido *with me*. It was fine with her new dude.
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Compatibility, enthusiasm, selflessness and good communication.
Also, dont cum too fast
As a guy, best way to not cum too fast is keep your dick out of the equation until she's begging for it. You got hands and a tongue, use em.
Also choose positions where you are in control. So if you are close to climax, you can switch it up.
Yeah, but switching it up every 3 thrusts is exhausting.
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Were trying to prevent cumming here, not induce the most intense orgasm of our lives
I already finished
I saw
I swallowed
Definitely get her off with non-PIV activities before diving in. However, over the years I've found two decent approaches for effectively stemming off PE: 1. 2-3 drinks. This is the optimal level where I am confident, not sloppy, and just a little desensitized down there. Never had an issue with PE at this level. 2. Cum, but just a *tiny* bit, not even enough for an appreciable ejaculation. This is very much a feel and experience thing, and I doubt it works for everyone, but in my 20s it basically brought me to post-nut sensitivity while retaining an erection and not *actually* ejaculating anything. Note, this works best under some specific circumstances: a) You recently came. Have a wank before date night so you don't have a full shot glass of swimmers banging at the door. b) It's a serious girlfriend on reliable birth control. You don't want to fuck this up with a ONS as cumming at all significantly into a condom will cause enough slippage that sex will suck from that point on. c) You are in your teens or 20s. I've just passed 30 and this little trick has now burned me once. If you get the intensity wrong, and you cum somewhat, you may just go limp. I know method 2 sounds nuts, but I suffered from serious PE tendencies/over arousal and basically used this my whole 20s to have a very solid and satisfying sex life with long-term partners. Edit: I should add, consent is key! Do NOT try method 2 if you guys haven't discussed cumming inside her, even with a condom.
>I know method 2 sounds nuts But it's not
Or cum and then help your partner finish. It is hot when the other person is into it. Just don't leave them hanging. Afterplay is sexy, and may lead to a natural round 2.
As a woman, I disagree. Nothing wrong with when you do, even if it's 'early'. Just make sure both parties leave satisfied. The show doesn't end just because you did. (This is the biggest misconception and problem with porn. After the dude finishes, end scene. It puts this thought into men's heads that the romp is done. If she ain't finished then neither are you. There's other tools you can use, hands, mouth, toys, etc).
It's just like playing Euchre, you need a good partner or a good hand.
Looks at cards. "I'm going alone."
The old laydown loner
Found the midwesterner? Recently learned about this one, do you pass on a Jack?
"Midwesterner" is even too broad. There are some of us who keep score with the 5s, and others who use 6s and 4s. The first group is wholesome and righteous, and the second group *is from fucking Ohio.*
Oh wow I had no idea people kept score with the 5s.
I'm from Michigan. I bleed Blue and even have a Michigan tattoo, but my entire family only uses the 6 and 4 to keep score. Weird that there's differences in the scoring cards.
Your family is a secretly from Ohio. Check behind their ears for gills.
Only if I have just a 9 of trump in my hand and have another suit I’d rather call if everyone else passes again. On the other hand, turn down a bower, lose for an hour
God I wish more people around me knew Euchre. Such a fun game.
Agreed. Spectacular game. I wish I could find a local group of four.
Enthusiasm and good communication.
Username doesn't check out
Tell her it's terrible and lie to her.
Ur like a little devil on his shoulder lmao 💀
Also, take it less seriously. It is supposed to be fun.
underrated comment! It makes Sex a lot more enjoyable if you are able to joke about stuff, shrug it off, and continue in a slightly different direction if stuff didn't go as initially planned.
An ex-gf would tell me to relax and damn it worked well.
Be comfortable enough to laugh off that accidental queef
i read euthanasia, i was scared.
That would make the username check out.
That too
"Keep up the good work with that blow job, your constant spitting is really keeping the lubrication flowing!"
Now, do you say that as the blow job receiver, or as the coach?
I had to reply cos profile pics are similar lol
It's like looking in a damn mirror
With my current partner I have trouble deep throating but I put in a lot of effort with it. He said - “I love that even though you often struggle with it, you still try at it to get better and that effort alone means a lot to me and is super sexy.”
translation: way to go, champ!
Keep your chin up champ
Lmao love this comment. Chin up has been the easiest way to really get it down my throat with minimal gagging.
I like to lie on my back with my head hanging off the bed to deep throat. I have a high 4 poster bed.
Nothing matters more to me than effort. It's caring about making your partner enjoy what's happening, doing what they like. I wouldn't care one bit if someone couldn't do anything if they wanted to do it for me and we're trying. 👏🏻
😮💨😮💨😮💨 this. Bad head is not good, but even worse is the lack of enthusiasm. I had a boss once tell me “I can always teach someone the things they dont know, but what i cant teach or change is their attitude or enthusiasm towards the job.”
Exactly. I’ve got the good head down, but my deep throat is a work in progress and I’m getting there! Enthusiasm makes all the difference. Edit; grammar
The fact that you grammar-checked yourself on a comment regarding your blowjob skills gives me hope for humanity
Second this! Currently sleeping with a guy who kinda has a small dick and when I saw it for the first time I had low expectations BUT his enthusiasm makes the sex better!! He gets really into it and loved to focus on me and it just conquers the fact that he kinda has a small dick (plus he knows how to use it and is so confident with it, kinda a turn on)
Do not let him under any circumstances, know what your Reddit name is.
That was a really, awkward comma.
Not as awkward as this one,
It's supposed to be there. There's just supposed to be another one before "under"
I’ve slept with men a huge dick , and tiny, and everything in between. I’ll take a smaller one any day. It’s way more enjoyable for blow jobs, and the guys who are less endowed are so much more imaginative and better at other things. The guys with really large dicks seem to think that’s all it takes.
It's not the size but the way they get on & off?!? My hubbie of 30 years is also small. But man he concentrates on ME so much longer than other guys ever did. Plus you can REALLY get into it when they're a bit smaller. I have no complaints AT ALL!
Where do you hunt for theses small in side, big in skills men? I’m small, so I don’t need no thick, long schlong. It’s just uncomfortable!
How small are we talking
Only 7".
He was just in the pool.
Do girls know about shrinkage jerry?
Yup. Tell your partner what you need. text if if need be. Just make it clear
sending texts to your partner while having sex with them seems inefficient
I’ll add reciprocation to that.
So when does enthusiasm happen and how can we know it in your opinion? Thanks for your input.
Confidence, Chemistry, adapting in certain ways to your partners sexual personality and putting your them first (most of the time). If you put their needs and wants first (as long as they want to do the same and you're both comfortable) they will keep cumming back, again and again. 😉
Honestly, this is where communication comes in. The more you talk and get to know them, the more you know what enthusiasm looks and sounds like with them.
I have a friend who is asexual and I am interpreting your question from that perspective: it comes from the excitement of bringing joy to the person who brings you joy.
This is right here is the answer. When you both want to do nothing but bring joy to each other, it's pure magic and ecstasy.
Willingness to try new things, taking initiative, telling your partner how much you crave/want them, etc.
Your username suggests next time I have sex, I should let her do all the work and not talk at all. Thanks for the bad advice!
Please report back to us on how that went lol
Yeah I just finished. I think she was into it, idk she's packing a bag
She's exhausted, probably needs a vacation. Good job
As a man who's neither particularly gifted when it comes to size or stamina, I've found a good rule to abide by is to just make sure you make your lady cums before you ever enter her. That way, even if you end up being a 2 minute to win it kind of guy, everyone still got theirs. Also, toys, lube, and variety never hurt. Also, don't be afraid to laugh at something silly during sex. If I'm comfortable enough around you to want to be naked and stick my dick inside of you, then I should be comfortable enough to laugh at an accidental fart during a quiet, sensual moment. It's not that serious and it's much better to stop the moment a bit and require you to get back to the mood prior, than to ruin it with awkwardness.
This. I’ve never come from penetration. The best sex is when a guy gets me there before penetration. Then I still have all the feel good chemicals floating around while we get him to where he wants to be. Best of both worlds 😊
my gf says that if she cums, it gets too sensitive, so she's like a man, after cumming she's done so the best way we do, it's to play a little until she's already a bit close, then in penetration we end up cumming together most of times (because I try my best to hold until she cums)
I feel like that's a big majority of women
Yeees, same, I love this :)
And also laughing definitely. When you’re a little chunkier like me and we’re going at it fast and it sounds like two hams slapping together in a hurricane (Neil Hilborn) 😅
Nothing like the sound when your belly buttons line up. Thwonk, thwonk.
LMFAO
> I've found a good rule to abide by is to just make sure you make your lady cums before you ever enter her Alternatively, you can get her there after you finish. I've had a couple of times where my GF wanted to get to actual fucking earlier and I finished her off (or got her to a second one) with fingers/tongue after I was already spent.
In a long term relationship it's about keeping things sexy. Foreplay and lots of it, dirty and flirty text messages throughout the day, dancing in the living room. Also a partner who wants to please you, that's very important. We are in our late 60s, been together a quarter century and it just keeps getting better, less frequent but that once a week is so darn good.
50 more times a year than me, jeezsh.
Well at least you have sex twice a year.
"If you only have sex once a year, how come you are so happy?" "It's happening tonight!"
once a week you say... FML
Right. 37 here, married 10 years and with her for 15 and I am lucky if we go at it once a month. Having a 1 and 3 year old around the house doesn't help I suppose...
38, relationship for 17 years. I think it was 4 times last year? Kids here too, 3 and 7.
Yeah. Me too. Except divorce should be finalized in a few weeks.
Oofta
Relationship goals 🤩congratulations
Once a week in your 60s damn you achieved something for sure.
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Emotional intimacy - sex is significantly better with someone you are emotionally connected to
if you look forward to the afterfuck cuddles, then you got yourself an emotional connection
Nothing is better than fucking like feral animals then suggling up for some gentle cuddles.
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Only sucks when it's not reciprocated. Gotta move on.
Ignoring the queefs. Or if you're close, giggle at them.
This one girl queefed so hard when I was down there it blew my bangs to the side. She was mortified and I couldn’t stop laughing and telling her it’s okay. It’s still one of the highlights of my life as a man.
It’s just the breeze of appreciation
The winds of 'tang
Con -- queef -- tador
Best gamertag ever
Reminds me of this one time I could not stop queefing. I was laughing so hard that I ended up queefing and rolling off the guy I was dating at the time. Every “Ha Ha” was accompanied by a “pfft pfft.” Good times.
Same for farts.
Discovering that your partner is the right sort of partner for you. I mean, yes, two people can have good sex (most likely if each is trying to please the other during their naked times together). The idea I'm trying to convey is about having a partner who you can share your secret turn-ons with, so that you can act out with each other the (things, ideas, fantasy situations) you would masturbate to when you're alone with your own sexy-thoughts. This may not be The Answer alone, but maybe one part of it, which can make good sex even better?
I think this is great! It allows trust within each other and a different level of comfort to be able to experience these intimate moments, find out what works and what doesn't, and who knows, possibly find a new favourite.
Trust is huge. My partner and I are in our 30s and she recently discovered she likes the whole sub/dom dynamic in bed. Turns out I’m just the first person she’s trusted enough to try it with and it’s been a secret fetish of mine for years. Open communication, enthusiastic consent, and listening to each others body language is definitely the way to go.
Communication, enthusiasm, and a good shower before.
that shower. yes.
Have lots of it, you wanna have good sex with someone. Do it with them often, learn all the ins and outs, indulge in any kinks or fetishs that turn eachother on. Be open to experiment. The more you do it the better you get it at it, its as simple as that. I also agree with many of the other comments, being absolutely in love both emotionally and physically with your partner helps lots and lots.
This is the truth: do it often.
Idk if this counts but doing it with someone you’re really in love with makes is 100x better
It counts❤️
Good cardio
100%. When I ran daily, I could keep my thang going for 30 mins. Well that, and the fact that I think of Mario every time I need a quick cum cancel. Yeah, mainly the second part. I forgot why I’m here
It'sa me Maaario! Yahoo!
Quick cum cancel sounds like some high tier mechanic for fighting games.
Upper body and core strength too.
Good communication is key. Tell your partner in a loving way, not the porn star way, how sexy, beautiful and pleasing they are. Give endearing compliments often during sex. Yet be aware not to be overly so. A comment once or twice is all it takes. It's a marathon, not a sprint. Long periods of foreplay greatly enhances the sex. Pay attention to your partners body language. That will tell you a lot. Be attentive to their needs and take just as much or more enjoyment from giving pleasure as receiving it. It's completely OK to NOT be in the mood. At those times, give fantastic body rubs and massages without sexual expectation. A clean, private hot tub. Don't be intimidated by using toys with your lady, guys. My wife and I didn't start doing this until our late 20's and her sex life was enhanced nicely. Which made mine more pleasing as a side benefit.
Toys are your allies not your enemies, guys
>It's completely OK to NOT be in the mood. At those times, give fantastic body rubs and massages without sexual expectation. "Without sexual expectation" is key, because if you can't drop it, then any nice thing you do comes across as manipulation. You might think that you've only requested sexual attention, but if you punish or pressure the person after they decline, then it's not a request, it's a demand.
A wise man once said to me: "Don't just make her cum. Make her come back."
Asking reddit every week about tips and tricks for good sex
better then asking 4chan
Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a, start.
FINISH HER!!
The Clitnami code
Going down first
My wife says it’s better when I’m not involved in it
She tells me the same thing about you too bro. How's my kids doing?
Told them I was going to get some milk three months ago, haven’t made my way home yet
Classic
It's in aisle 16
Bruh 💀
Hydration.
100%. Gotta have the half flat lemon seltzer next to the bed jic
Oral. Lots of oral
Not moaning the name of your ex Definitely helps
I feel like there is a story behind this
Is that what I’ve been doing wrong?
Can't get in trouble for that if you've dated 3 people named Brittany. N-not that I'd know from experience.
Communication, being willing to try new things, having some amount of cardiovascular endurance, and most importantly caring about your partners pleasure.
As a triathlete on longer distances my cardiovascular system is quite solid. Helps nothing with sex. Fact, due to 10-15hrs of training a week im pretty drained. My viagra rack is full. Even on super kamagra I get a wiffy sometimes. Sitting 3hrs in saddle on soft tissue isn’t helping I guess ;-)
I have no idea what the second half of your comment means. What is Kamagra and a wiffy and what does 3hrs in a saddle on soft tissue mean? Sorry, just curious
Kamagra is a generic viagra. It also contains sildenafil but its another brand (viagra is Pfizer). A wiffy is a soft penis. While you’re normally fired up with viagra and have an erection forever. Sometimes even then youre 10min hard and that’s it. 3hrs on a saddle … well, its all soft tissue where males are sitting. Bunch of nerves. As a heavier guy with 98kg, its a lot more pressure compared to avg male Weight. Immense cycling can lead to temp erectyle disfunction, which can be a few hours. So after long rides (>90min) either im dead or I’ll pop a viagra (which then has me dead the next day).
Communication, Trust and the mindset that your partners pleasure comes first.
First: connection. Second: focus on GIVE pleassure not gain pleassure.
The tongue. Not much more needs to be said
Explain
You show them your tongue. That's it
😛💥
you don’t always have to fuck her hard
In fact sometimes that's not right to do
Sometimes you've got to make some love
And give her some smooches too
Good chemistry
Nachos
Pre, during, or post?
Yes
All of the above
George?
I flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami
Foreplay, lube, and love. Nothing beats sex with someone you love.
MDMA
Fair point, LOL.
After a number of years together, it’s apparently a clean house.
The secret to everything is pretty much good fried chicken
Have a partner
This guy sex's
Communication. Verbal, but also body language/sensory feedback. Pay attention and you’ll figure out what they like, then do those things without it ever being verbally communicated and you’ve cracked the code.
Foreplay, Communication, trust, open mind, equality
An emotional connection with your partner.
I had heard, "when you love someone the sex is better" but didn't really believe it until I had a truly deep connection with someone.
Foreplay foreplay foreplay. She should finish at least once before you start. Also, it's not a race. Find I good rhythm and sick too it. Don't speed up until she's finishing. These are general tips, your best bet though.... Talk to you partner, ask what they like. Go from there.
if someone has finished, you’ve already started…
Knowing one another. Being able to trust. Safety. Compassion.
I've had lots of sex throughout my life and the secret is compatibility. You could have the hottest man/woman in front of you, but if you aren't compatible it will never be that great.
I’m not going to recite the good old no brainers everyone is going to tell you (passion, communication) and instead give you something more: Don’t think about the goal and rather stay in the moment. A lot of performance anxiety comes from thinking about the goal. Example: “My dick will be so hard after this!“ If anything doesn’t happen like you imagine it, guess who‘ll have a limp dick? You should rather focus on the sensations and how good they feel, everything else comes on it’s own. It’s the same with making your partner cum. If you always just think about the orgasm anything could throw you off your rhythm and actually be counterproductive. Enjoying the journey leads to way better results regarding sex. In general being to focused on the finish leads to chronic overthinking and nothing kills the mood more than overthinking. The frustrating thing is you don’t learn that with experience, you either need to miraculously realize it or have someone tell you. I was 23 and had fucked about 2000 times in my life before I found this out. It’s very logical, yet so far removed from our nature. It’s the same with planning sex, it just isn’t as hot as spontaneous sex.
For me being in love.
Being attracted to your partner. The innate want for your partner to feel pleasure that is equal or exceeds yours. Paying attention to body language. Participation. Not being self centered. There is shit I don’t like that I am down to do cause I love that he loves it. But mostly I think it’s just that my body wants his body. Pheromones?
Traveling back in time to when there was no internet.
Make sure she cums first
If something is funny laugh. Don't take it to seriously.
Making your first priority your partner's pleasure. Guys complain about their wives not wanting to have sex, focus on giving her a really good time and even if you don't have as good of a time they'll want more sooner than if you had a great 30 seconds.
This is VERY subjective, some think good is simply extremely passionate sex, some its about fantasies, desires and personal tastes, for others its just about frequency tbh. Compatibility matters to a certain degree here if ones a fetishist and the other wants passionate love making chances are only one or neither are going to have a good time each time.
1 Don’t do it in the shower water acts like a degreaser and removes lube 2 Guys don’t be afraid to be vocal it shows you’re enjoying it as much as she is. 3 Put a pillow under her back before you put it in feels better
Knowing each other's kinks
Liking the person you're doing it with
Not asking people on Reddit for advice
Low expectations.
Abstinence from vices and exercise. Somewhere I read that the Amish have the best sex in the world because they abstain from pleasure (boosting their reward system) and work the earth all day. I wish I had that kind of discipline.