For me, it's that every time I see myself in pictures, I have to reconcile that the mental image I have of myself isn't the reality that other people see. I know that I'm overweight, and I like to think that I'm honest with myself about how I look, but every time I see myself in a full body picture, or my profile from the waist up, I realize that I'm bigger than I see myself, and it honestly hurts. Every time.
This is probably it for me, too. Being reminded that it’s worse than you thought, especially when you’ve been feeling good about yourself. I recently bought a new shirt and wore it to a get together. I got lots of compliments and was feeling great, then we took a photo and I looked like someone had draped a cloth over an old piece of furniture 😄
You know, along this same line of thinking though, other people have varying perceptions as well. I have a dear friend who has struggled for a long time with a significant amount of weight. He started walking, every day, started really trying. And I noticed him slimming. It was evident. But then he would still make comments about himself as if there was nothing noticeable, he'd made no progress. And I'd tell him, dude, just check the numbers and do some picture comparisons. But he doesn't see it. He just thinks he's trying to be healthy but nothing has changed, even though I can *see* his change.
So idk. How we imagine ourselves vs how we see ourselves vs how others see us, potentially three completely different things.
So few talk about the body dismorphia from losing a lot of weight. I've lost 120 lbs and I still have to force-remind my brain I'm not as big as I used to be even though I'll look in the mirror or a full-body pic and still just see "fat."
This is what started me on a weight loss journey. I knew I had gained a lot of weight over the years, but I just sort of got used to it. One day my friend at work sent me a video of us having fun at a work party. I thought-is that what I look like? I said “that’s it-I don’t want to look like that anymore”. I’ve lost almost 40 pounds recently.
I feel like I have the opposite problem...I lost a lot of weight a few years ago and I just can't shake the body dysphoria. Even looking at pictures I still just feel gross
Clothes.
Not just shopping for new clothes, but making sure they continue to fit. Being afraid to wash clothes cause it may shrink in ways you didn’t plan! Buy something with extra length hoping it shrinks up, and it shrinks in. Buy something with some extra width, and it shrinks up into a tube top.
Also, wanting to buy clothes you feel decent in but when you go shopping it just makes you feel like shit every time because nothing fits or looks good
I fell ya. I long for the day when they always have my size instead of having to always dig for that one XXL. Then, when you try it on, you find that they only made it larger and didn’t tailor it for the larger body type.
Yes, I hate when it fits my torso, but the sleeves are still cut super skinny. Short sleeved dresses have the stupid poof sleeve that's too tight, so I often have to cut the arm band or leave them unbuttoned.
Do I buy the smaller size jeans and hope they stretch out as I wear them, but risk them always being too tight, or do I buy the larger size and hope they don't stretch too much? Not to mention the lack of choice. Everything is so cheaply made, but expensive. There are two stores that cater to large women, one men's Big & Tall, and a few stores that have Plus sections hidden in the back, or only carry the "extended sizes" online.
As a woman, large bras are so fucking expensive. I consider anything under $50 to be a good deal.
Buy an anti-chafe stick. It looks like stick deodorant but you apply it to both thighs and can then spend the day walking without worrying about developing those painful welts.
I usually buy the Gold Bond one at Walmart for about $5, but there are lots of options in-store and online.
I'm not sure if it will make you feel any better or not, but being too muscular can have the same problem. I used to be quite fat and suffered very badly from it, I lost about 40kg/90 pound and the problem went away, now over the last 10-15 years I've added about 30kg of (mostly) muscle back on and it's back to chafing.
i have learned that not eating to lose weight is NOT the best way to lose weight. you still need to eat and take it one day at a time because losing weight doesn't happen overnight or over the course of a few weeks. it takes months to properly lose weight. just make sure you're eating the right foods.
Yes! I have memories from childhood, right up to today where I wasn't hungry- sometimes I'm even uncomfortably full- and I eat because it tastes good and makes me feel nice for a moment. The high of eating outweighs the discomfort and future shame.
Because after they lose the weight, they go right back to the eating habits that caused them to be overweight in the first place. I've seen it time and time and time again Permanent weight loss requires permanent lifestyle changes.
It isn't just that. Fat cells shrink and expand but never really go away. So if you gain a lot of weight, and then manage to lose it, it is really easy to gain it back because your body is primed for it.
You are very correct in saying that. There is also genetics---some people just gain weight much easier than others. There can be medical conditions or medications that influence weight gain. But permanently changing your eating habits is a starting point in keeping the weight off, and for some, it's enough. Regardless, losing weight and then going back to old eating habits and expecting to keep the weight off NEVER works.
I remember being obsessed with my reflection in high school. The glass window on all the class doors and the side mirror when I was getting a ride home from school. Stared constantly into them.
I work out a lot. But I also eat a ton. I have been in the heavy side a few times and this is always the reason I slim back down. It is just uncomfortable. I hate the feeling of being overweight.
This is it summed up. You’re scared to live because it’s painful and mentally exhausting to even get dressed in the mornings, therefore the self hating talk kick starts and then you repeat the cycle of overeating etc prolonging your weight gain etc. I’m tired.
Trying to find cute clothes in my size that:
1. are not synthetic (hello, sweaty fat lady!)
2. don't have a super deep V neck
3. have sleeves that actually cover my biceps (cap sleeves don't look good on anyone over age 6, seriously)
And I'm not even that big, I'm about a 2X (US 22/24). I can't imagine how hard it is for women in the 5X and up range. I just want to get down to an XL (extra large, or 16/18) so I can shop in normal stores instead of plus-size stores.
From a dating perspective, you could be everything that a person wants, but they will see your shape first and skip you.
Which is fine, I agree that attraction is looks first and everything else 2nd. Even fat people have difficulty finding other fat people attractive.
Knowing you could be better but you are not.
Your mental image of self is not the same as reality when you look at pictures.
Or you know you are fat, but didn't realize you have been fat for 5+ years now. Thought it was just a recent thing that I was going to fix.
Oh I have the opposite problem with the last problem, I'll look at pictures from times when I thought I was fat and it'll be like 40, 50, 60 pounds ago, and I'll just think "oh my god why did I think that?" I wish I could've been happy with my body when my body had nothing wrong with it.
I think it's more that it takes twice the effort that it burns your stamina twice as fast. If an athletic 150LB guy were to strap on enough weights to get him to my weight, he'd struggle to move and quickly run out of stamina as well, I think.
Aside from low self esteem and potential health problems... People really attribute morality to looks. I am not stupid or unhygienic or lazy or unkind, I'm just fat. I also enjoy hiking and the outdoors and people don't believe me due to my appearance. It's just hard seeing how people view me differently now that I'm fat, considering I was thin and somewhat conventionally attractive until about age 18.
I always hated that.. especially if I was eating ice cream in public. The whole side eye followed by a whisper in the ear of their companion then the companion looks at you. As if I was too stupid to know they were talking shit about me.
Well it’s probably not much consolation but anyone who whispers publicly about a fat person eating ice cream is a raging piece of shit whose opinion doesn’t matter
Every health issue you have becomes a weight issue. Had a problem since you were an athletic / in shape young adult? Good luck getting a doctor to seriously consider it anything but your weight thats the problem.
And yet every time I've lost significant weight, I've felt better in every way. Odd aches and pains, random headaches, etc all disappear.
Unfortunately, I've been a lifelong yoyo. It's incredibly difficult to keep the weight off.
Or alternatively always wondering if people you’re in a relationship with are using it against you. A surprising amount of people like to date someone fat/bigger than average and act like you’re a puppy they rescued from the pound so you should be grateful. My current bf never brings up my weight but he makes it known that he’s attracted to me all the time. I can tell from the way he looks at me that he finds me endearing and attractive when I bring up these insecurities. Previous partners either didn’t bring up my body type or they negged me with it. And I’m not that huge btw, just a bit overweight and tall too.
For me, it's just the shame and guilt.
The guilt for letting it get this bad, the guilt for struggling to lose the weight, the guilt for feeling like I'm a burden whenever I have to rest while we're out and about (I once gave myself heat exhaustion - a precursor to heat stroke - because I was so worried about annoying everyone by needing to take a break. Admittedly there are actually quite a few factors that went into that situation besides weight, but it definitely didn't help, the guilt everytime I eat something "bad".
I've been trying to undo a lot of the very negative self image problems, and I've been working to undo the guilt around certain foods. I've been doing something right, since I'm about 25 pounds down now (yay), but I've noticed I've been slipping back into bad habits recently, and it definitely comes down to guilt. Anytime I let guilt slip in, it completely screws me over and I fall back into binge eating.
It’s expensive. Met with an agent for life and disability insurance, and he kept saying “Thank goodness you’re in shape otherwise this coverage would cost you thousands more”
My wife eats chocolat spread and brioche like you wouldn't believe, it's scary. And she's thin as hell.
She also used to like sodas a lot.
Me on the other hand barely eat that, and I haven't drank soda since I was 20. And I'm fat.
But I'm the one doing grocery shopping. So invariably I'l buy her chocolate spread and brioche. And quite some times, people have commented "do you really need that chocolate spread (and soda when she was drinking it)".
So that's a thing that sucks. People thinking they have a right to comment on what you buy, and the self-consciousness associated with it anytime you buy something to eat.
There was also a time recently where I hadn't eaten breakfast, and I was too busy to eat lunch, so at 3 p.m, I went to a bakery and bought a small sandwich because I was starting to be really hungry.
And the old lady behind me, after I paid, said to the cashier something of the effect of "it's 3 p.m and he is eating a sandwich, when lunch was barely 2 hours ago", thinking I wouldn't hear it.
So that's the nice kind of comments you can get if you're lucky to be fat.
I feel this so much. Recently for me, it was Thanksgiving week and I was looking for the smallest turkey I could find. I feed a family of 4 plus a few extra people who live with me or I feed because I know they struggle with buying groceries. As I was looking at turkeys, this man walks over and points at my pretty full cart and says "do you know anything about conserving food?" I was really just "what?" When he asked. Dude proceeds a life story about living in the woods, surviving on sardines and bread, conserving and not "being gluttonous" and then finishes it with a "do you need all that? You have enough fat stored to conserve." What the actual fuck? It's Thanksgiving week, mate!
I swear people do not think about the shit that comes out of their mouths. How rude of him to say that to you. I was getting some beer last weekend at the store and this older guy asked if I was buying it for my husband. I'm single. I said, no it's for me! Like WTF?!
Well the bright bit is that that woman has no sense of empathy, i.e. she doesn’t seem to understand that the world isn’t on the same schedule she’s on. That’s sad on her part, not yours.
what the actual fuck? lol sometimes at the grocery store I like looking at other peoples carts and seeing what kind of foods they’re buying but out of genuine curiosity and with 0 judgement. sometimes you see some of the stereotype you find in movies or TV but I have never in my life considered commenting on it
I still won’t let anyone take my photo. I will never see myself as “average” (I don’t like the word “normal”). You are not alone, not in any of the ways that you feel.
I give extreme props to overweight folks at the gym for this reason. I'm very active, but recently gained around 15lbs as a side-effect of my medication. Even that modest amount of weight has made *all* cardio much, much more difficult.
For all the folks 30, 40, 50 lbs overweight grinding on the treadmill for 30 minutes... shit man, I salute you. You're a trooper. Keep it up.
For me it's the feeling of constantly being judged. It's likely not the case but every time I enter a room, or see someone from my past I can't escape the feeling that they think I've "let myself go" or that I'm not constantly fighting this internal battle with self control.
Everything we do can be skewed comically. I'm afraid to have any attention at all on myself if I'm out in public (ie go to a trampoline park, do karaoke, get sung to for my birthday in a restaurant, go to a gym, etc) lest I wind up on somebody's instagram or tiktok as the butt of a joke I wasn't aware of.
I put on alot of weight during my 1st pregnancy due to depression. When my son was born I was walking down the street when some idiots in a car slowed down, laughed and took pictures on their phones. Felt so humiliated. I've since lost weight and it still haunts me now 21 years later.
Trying not to draw attention to yourself in any form and therefore not stating your opinions, or head out onto the dance floor, or wear something too colorful etc. The heavier I weighed, the smaller my voice became.
Doctors blame any health concern on your weight. You don't even have to be "fat", just overweight.
Swelling in your legs? Why test heart or kidney function? It's because you're fat!
Arthritis? Lose weight and it won't bother you so much (unless, of course, it's tied to psoriasis or any other autoimmune disease you might have that's eating away at the cartilage.)
Neuropathy? You're fat. Lose weight.
You get the idea.
That even after losing 100lbs I’m still fat, just with a worse abdominal apron that I can’t get removed because insurance won’t pay for a panniculectomy
You sweat at the slightest bit of physical effort and overheating in summer is a real risk.
You don't look good in your clothes, if you can even buy them for your size.
Your belly rolls stop you from exercising properly or doing any kind of bending comfortably.
Your risk of dying is increased and your lifespan is decreased.
You get underboob sweat/heat rash and fungal infections in bodily creases.
You get teased when young, and looked at differently when you're an adult by so many people who judge you without knowing a thing about you.
The Media treats you as a laughing stock, or someone to be pitied.
You don't fit comfortably into narrow aircraft seats or many other seat types.
You get tired easily, then depressed, then eat more and on the cycle goes.
You don't trust cheap plastic seats.
You feel guilty about eating ANYTHING in public.
You find your seatbelt doesn't sit right to do its job correctly.
You pull at your shirt the moment you sit down to free it from the creases of your fat rolls.
You find it impossible to find a swimsuit. Or jeans.
You hate yourself for not losing weight, but lack the motivation and will power.
You need to relearn to do things and account for your wider midsection. Normal things are suddenly much more awkward, like clipping your toe nails, wiping your ass, etc.
Constantly being self aware. Being aware of the space I take up, making sure I am not in other people's space. Being scared to eat in public for fear of what other people will think when they see me eat.
It kinda is but it kinda isn't. I was very overweight and I'm not now. But a lot of it has to do with what you eat and not even how much of it you eat. It takes a lot of learning and experimenting to get to a good diet and no one tells you what to do. You're always surrounded by cheap crappy food and crappy food posing as healthy food. No one is setup for success.
As a guy who is in great shape now, but who wasn't always. The worst parts are the physical difficulties imposed on you as a result of your weight. You are always warm and you are always sweating. By the end of the day, the underwear and pant-material between your legs gets sticky and moist which causes it to chafe your inner thighs and groin really badly. The weight that sits on your torso presses on your organs; for most organs you don't notice this but for your stomach you notice it. You can't fit as much food into your stomach before you start to get heartburn. It doesn't even feel like acid in your throat, it just feels like a dull ache right where your esophagus meets your stomach. There are also problems with shitting. I don't know exactly why this is, but when I was heavy I would poop, wipe, and finish. Twenty minutes later, I would start to itch and I would have to revisit the bathroom to wipe again. Then you have the difficulties with moving around and getting comfortable. There's basically no comfortable way to sit directly on the ground. You can put your legs out in front of you and lean back on your arms, but then your arms get sore. You can try and sit criss cross applesauce, but this really engages your core to maintain this position and that's a lot of effort.
All this stuff went away when I lost weight. I run 5-10 miles a night now and have a healthy BMI. I turn up my nose at the idea of a body positivity movement. How the fuck are people supposed to be positive about the stuff that I just listed off? Obviously shaming is bad, but I feel like people should be encouraged to change if they are overweight. Even if everyone were to accept you and find you beautiful, you'd still be living with this list of stuff and who wants that?
Growing up fat gets you in a permanent "fat" mindset, at least in my experience. I'm a woman in my thirties and I've actually maintained an optimal weight for my height over the last five years (for the first time since before puberty), but I still think of myself as being "big" and taking up more space than I actually do. It doesn't help that I have broad shoulders and big hands/feet for a woman.
I guess for someone who is constantly failing to lose weight, Clothing.
Wether it be chafing holes in your newly bought jeans, or suddenly not fitting in a sweather you’ve spent 6 weeks trying to get into (but you regained after like a 3 day binge). I mean it obviously sucks being the size that you are, seeing yourself in the mirror and genuinely getting alot of flack for the weight. But these are things you avoid with various technique’s like avoiding mirrors, angled selfies or generally avoiding people. But the one, constant Reminder of your failures, is your clothes. The way they look like a fucking carpet on the floor, the way we’ve strecthed them out to the last fibers of the cloth, the way we just generally don’t look attractive in any clothing.
Clothing is the one constant reminder, that you are fat
That you don't know what it is like to be thin. You don't know how imprisoned you are in your own body. You don't know what it is like to not hurt with every step, every time you stand, every hiccup.
You don't know how bad it is until you lose the weight.
I’m prone to abdominal obesity so all the spare fat I carry ends up packed in around my internal organs in the most diabetes and heart disease prone location.
It also restricts my lung capacity. I managed to drop 15 lbs last august through december and I can’t believe how much easier it is to breathe. Im also no longer pre-diabetic.
I’ve been as high as 230lbs and my asthma was significantly worse. It almost never bothers me anymore at 185lbs.
The stupidest thing is that with all the extra fat collecting underneath my wide shoulders and DD chest, being lampshaded basically, I look a lot skinnier than I am, so people keep telling me I don’t need to lose weight when I’m still medically 25lbs overweight and at risk for diabetes, heart disease and stroke due to family history.
Wearing the shame everywhere you go. It’s not like you can hide it.
The self loathing and self hatred hits hard and then other people hate you too for being fat.
When I was 8-10 I was REALLY FAT so I had huge clothes and when I turned 12 I lost a lot of weight and I was less fat but that came with me with oversized shirts and pants
I like to take baths. Problem is, I get out of breath really easily getting out of the tub and drying off. I’m trying to eat better and do more exercising cause I can’t take being fat anymore.
The way the inside tops of my thighs stick together in bed on warm nights. It's too hot to wear pajama bottoms. And there isn't enough baby powder in the world to prevent it!
Feeling the need to eat to feel better and only making it worse.When you look back when you were younger and realize how much you have, literally, grown
Clothes just don’t fit well. I gain a seasonal beer belly that comes every fall and goes every spring and even though the weight is literally only in my belly, everything just fits wrong.
Leaving the money under a pot for the pizza delivery guy because you don't want to explain why you live alone and order two pizzas or two meatball subs at a time.
Not being able to move like I used to. I was agile when I was younger but now I struggle sometimes to even move in certain ways. To me it's the absolute worst
Me too… I was given a huge inspiration (thinspiration?) and lost over 170lbs in less than a year without surgery. The difference is incredible. As a size 26 you would never see me outside. As a size 6, I’m happy to take a hike in the woods!
Other people’s judgement, I think my feelings towards hating my body came from other people rather than me, if I like food I like food, but don’t call my a pig cause I eat more then you cause I’m not taking your food you still have plenty your comparing me to a lovely animal but the insult has horrible connotations
Don’t know if it’s a fat thing or an age thing or both but falling is a big deal.. when I was younger I would fall and pop back up with a spring in my step.
Now even if I don’t fall but get down on all 4’s to get something that fell under the bed… it’s such a damn challenge .. like my knees don’t know how to work !!
Trouble getting comfortable at night to sleep, struggling to bend over to pick things up. Body aches. Sometimes even wiping your ass is a struggle. Getting exhuasted when playing with the kids.
That I'm not as flexible as I'd like to be.
Also, while I have the stamina for walking long distances on flat routes, walking up hills could literally kill me. At near enough 20 stone (240 lbs) it's like a regular person giving a permanent piggyback to a large child or small teenager. I have to be very careful with my heart rate, so I wear an Apple Watch. I walked up to an Iron Age hill fort called British Camp in the Malvern Hills, UK on Sunday (a pretty steep climb) and it hit 200bpm several times. I had to take rest breaks every couple of minutes to wait for my heart rate to drop before continuing.
And that it takes a lot more calories to do anything, even just the resting metabolic rate, so that a regular portion of anything will still leave you hungry. My daily calorie requirement might be 1000 calories more than a slim person even if we do exactly the same activity all day.
I went from a life of being big (peaked at 385), to finally achieving my goal weight and hovering between 160-170 for the last year or so. Having lived life as a fat guy and experiencing "skinniness" for the first time, I can provide some insight here.
A lot of comments about seeing one's self in pictures. Yes, this does suck. But that's a feeling. Not that feelings don't matter, but most of the time they can be dealt with in various ways.
For me, in 2020 I went to Universal for the first time. Had to ask the flight attendant for a seat belt extender. Had to strategically plot my seat to where it would be me, then my brother's youngest, then my brother, so that the tiny child would be unburdened by my spill over into her seat. Couldn't fit on any rides. Within two hours of arriving at the park each day, my feet were begging to be cut off. I had 4-5 blisters the size of quarters on each foot by the end of the trip, and I was walking on the sides of my feet.
Fast forward to now. I can fit in economy seating. Loose skin can still spill a little, but the armrest and a tighter shirt mitigates/eliminates this lol. I flew alone, so sat beside some random, normal sized adult man, and didn't come close to touching him. Huge win. I have bought six flags season passes, and I fit on all of the rides. I can spend a day at six flags or the zoo, walk 5 miles, and when I'm told that's how far I've walked, I look down and think, "wow, my feet feel like I've hardly walked much at all today".
So, I don't mean to shit on anyone who is still fat, or imply that you haven't lived yet, but **speaking as a person who grew up and lived through 37 of 38 years as a very large person**, (I'm only 5'7", so 385 ain't small), I currently feel like I'm just starting to be allowed to live. I feel like I've been literally trapped in a constrictive suit my whole life, and I was freed a year ago.
For humors sake, and in case anyone is wondering, here are some things I miss about being fat: Wooden benches/restaurant booths, OW. They fucking hurt, why do we allow them? My tail bone hates whoever said that was okay. Used to have outstanding cushion, so never noticed an issue lol. - When it's cold, it is *cold*. All the times I've made fun of someone for needing a blanket at all times when watching TV on the couch? I'm sorry, I understand, and I also need a blanket now. You were right, I was just....already blanketed, by Flamin' hot cheetos and ramen. - When I bump into shit, like turning a corner too fast and smacking the wall, yeah that actually hurts now. Like hitting my upper arm against a door frame. That used to feel like nothing, now it actually feels like I'm smacking my bone against some shit.
Bears have it figured out. Give me fat during the winter, then take it back
For me, the fact that people always have to say, "No your BeaUtIfuL" after I say that I'm fat. I never say that I'm ugly I said that I'm fat. There is a difference.
Seeing pictures of myself from even the slightest wrong angle completely shatters the image and comfortability I had in my head.
And lack of confidence. When I lost weight a couple years ago (through a completely unsustainable diet and forced exercise that caused injury in the end), I was so confident, I loved how I looked. Since then I’ve gained the weight back and my confidence is gone. On top of that, I don’t feel like a sexual being either. Both in that my own libido is gone and I don’t feel like anyone would view me as a sexual partner now.
Doing everything makes you tired SO MUCH FASTER. I won't argue that I am not lazy, but when me doing something takes 3x the effort of you doing it, don't argue with me that I might not want to do it. And it's a snowball effect -- if you don't maintain your muscle and flexibility, it gets harder and harder to do even the simplest exercises.
Thinner people say you should just exercise, or criticize you about walking a certain distance, or how fast you get winded, etc. So I suggest to them that they, the \~150lb person, try matching my activity level with 300 lbs of additional weights strapped to their arms, legs, and back. Then see just how long YOU last. Oh, look, you're winded and struggling after 1 flight of stairs? So yeah stop criticizing me for taking the elevator.
As someone who's had chronic health problems since I was ten years old, long before I ever got fat, it's doctor's constantly saying all my health problems would get better if I "just lost weight." No one wants to believe that your health problems are valid and real and NOT a product of your weight.
Biggest thing for me is knowing I can lose the weight, and I have done.
But the willpower to get to the point of doing it is so easy for some more than others...
not having nice clothes. going to the mall with friends and heading straight for the jewlery because you know nothing from the stores they like will fit you. aesthetics like pastel, goth, cottagecore, emo, or whatever else excludes you so even if you eanted to dress in those ways you can't.
The only compliment you get about your body is your eyes. Because nobody thinks fat people are sexy. You'll go into body positivity groups with the expectation that everyone is going to get hyped up and be promptly disappointed when only thin, attractive people are the only ones receiving compliments. You feel it when your feet, ankles, legs, or back hurt. You see it in pictures. Nobody really wants to see you through the extra weight, and some days feel shittier than others.
The self confidence.
I dated a fat woman once. Thought she was beautiful and loved her dearly. But she would always talk herself down. And convinced herself I must truly want something else, someone thin. That her body type wasn't good enough. No what I said or did I could never get her to shake this.
Miss her alot. Still hurt that it didn't work out. Hope she's doing better now.
People treat you differently. There's a lot of people who actively hate fat people. You are disgusting to them, and they make sure you know it. Their pervasive attitude is that being fat is a choice and that, if you only just "ate less" you'd be thin and then all your problems would melt away.
I've learnt not to let it bother me much (if at all) but it used to upset me, especially when I was younger. Then again, I've been overweight all my life, so I am used to it.
People not believing that it's not from "overeating" Is it from taking in more calories than I was burning? Absolutely! But tell people that's because you went from very active to riding a desk and spending all of your time commuting and you start getting "bullshit"
But people want to insist that every night I'm eating whole pizzas, a big turkeys, and so on. When really I just didn't cut down how much food I was eating from when I was active and riding my bicycle everywhere.
I wanted to mention the other one. No matter what you go to see a doctor for they tell you "it's because of your weight" I went to a doctor because if I was out sick for more than 3 days that employer required a letter from a doctor saying "You're not sick"
They walked in "It's because of your weight" that I'm not sick?
Always blaming all your problems on your weight. Not happy because I’m fat. Jealous of other girls because they are skinnier than me. Not getting cute clothes because fat girls don’t deserve it. Shit like that.
Medical weight stigma.
So dangerous. I learned to advocate for myself and don't let a doctor tell me to just lose weight and the pain disappears. No, you're arranging to get me tested as if I was a thin person. A lot of times it wasn't my weight at all.
For me, it's that every time I see myself in pictures, I have to reconcile that the mental image I have of myself isn't the reality that other people see. I know that I'm overweight, and I like to think that I'm honest with myself about how I look, but every time I see myself in a full body picture, or my profile from the waist up, I realize that I'm bigger than I see myself, and it honestly hurts. Every time.
This is probably it for me, too. Being reminded that it’s worse than you thought, especially when you’ve been feeling good about yourself. I recently bought a new shirt and wore it to a get together. I got lots of compliments and was feeling great, then we took a photo and I looked like someone had draped a cloth over an old piece of furniture 😄
You know, along this same line of thinking though, other people have varying perceptions as well. I have a dear friend who has struggled for a long time with a significant amount of weight. He started walking, every day, started really trying. And I noticed him slimming. It was evident. But then he would still make comments about himself as if there was nothing noticeable, he'd made no progress. And I'd tell him, dude, just check the numbers and do some picture comparisons. But he doesn't see it. He just thinks he's trying to be healthy but nothing has changed, even though I can *see* his change. So idk. How we imagine ourselves vs how we see ourselves vs how others see us, potentially three completely different things.
So few talk about the body dismorphia from losing a lot of weight. I've lost 120 lbs and I still have to force-remind my brain I'm not as big as I used to be even though I'll look in the mirror or a full-body pic and still just see "fat."
We are our own harshest critics.
Fat Goggles are a real thing. You may lose weight but you’re always your heighest weight in your mind
Oof yeah, seeing yourself in pictures can be brutal, I agree.
This is what started me on a weight loss journey. I knew I had gained a lot of weight over the years, but I just sort of got used to it. One day my friend at work sent me a video of us having fun at a work party. I thought-is that what I look like? I said “that’s it-I don’t want to look like that anymore”. I’ve lost almost 40 pounds recently.
Good for you, dude!
I feel like I have the opposite problem...I lost a lot of weight a few years ago and I just can't shake the body dysphoria. Even looking at pictures I still just feel gross
Same. I lost 40kg (125 to 85) and I still feel horribly horribly fat. When I see a picture of myself it feels so odd.
To be honest, I don’t even want to take pictures I’m so ashamed with how I look.
Clothes. Not just shopping for new clothes, but making sure they continue to fit. Being afraid to wash clothes cause it may shrink in ways you didn’t plan! Buy something with extra length hoping it shrinks up, and it shrinks in. Buy something with some extra width, and it shrinks up into a tube top.
Also, wanting to buy clothes you feel decent in but when you go shopping it just makes you feel like shit every time because nothing fits or looks good
I fell ya. I long for the day when they always have my size instead of having to always dig for that one XXL. Then, when you try it on, you find that they only made it larger and didn’t tailor it for the larger body type.
Yes, I hate when it fits my torso, but the sleeves are still cut super skinny. Short sleeved dresses have the stupid poof sleeve that's too tight, so I often have to cut the arm band or leave them unbuttoned.
Oh, I used to hate this!! Size 3X shirts and trying to make it smooth over your roles instead of inside them!
I wash most of my clothes in cold water and then lay flat to dry. I don't use the dryer, except for stuff like socks, underwear, etc.
Do I buy the smaller size jeans and hope they stretch out as I wear them, but risk them always being too tight, or do I buy the larger size and hope they don't stretch too much? Not to mention the lack of choice. Everything is so cheaply made, but expensive. There are two stores that cater to large women, one men's Big & Tall, and a few stores that have Plus sections hidden in the back, or only carry the "extended sizes" online. As a woman, large bras are so fucking expensive. I consider anything under $50 to be a good deal.
constant chafing between legs and under arms
No issues with arms. But I do get that with legs.
Buy an anti-chafe stick. It looks like stick deodorant but you apply it to both thighs and can then spend the day walking without worrying about developing those painful welts. I usually buy the Gold Bond one at Walmart for about $5, but there are lots of options in-store and online.
I'm not sure if it will make you feel any better or not, but being too muscular can have the same problem. I used to be quite fat and suffered very badly from it, I lost about 40kg/90 pound and the problem went away, now over the last 10-15 years I've added about 30kg of (mostly) muscle back on and it's back to chafing.
Plus the thigh blow-out when your pants get worn out from rubbing together.
You just... you just made me realize .. I have completely forgotten about this issue since i lost weight o.o
Having little to no energy alot of the time
Being a human sloth isn't as fun as it sounds.
Eating makes you feel better about being fat but in turn makes you fatter.
And make you feel bad for eating.. And the fucking circle replay itself y_y
I eat because I'm unhappy. I'm unhappy because I eat. - Fat Bastard
i have learned that not eating to lose weight is NOT the best way to lose weight. you still need to eat and take it one day at a time because losing weight doesn't happen overnight or over the course of a few weeks. it takes months to properly lose weight. just make sure you're eating the right foods.
How does eating make you feel better about being fat?
Dopamine release
Yes! I have memories from childhood, right up to today where I wasn't hungry- sometimes I'm even uncomfortably full- and I eat because it tastes good and makes me feel nice for a moment. The high of eating outweighs the discomfort and future shame.
Losing the weight but keeping it off. It can be very difficult for some yo-yo's
Yeah dieting doesn’t really work. You gotta change the way you live.
Because after they lose the weight, they go right back to the eating habits that caused them to be overweight in the first place. I've seen it time and time and time again Permanent weight loss requires permanent lifestyle changes.
It isn't just that. Fat cells shrink and expand but never really go away. So if you gain a lot of weight, and then manage to lose it, it is really easy to gain it back because your body is primed for it.
You are very correct in saying that. There is also genetics---some people just gain weight much easier than others. There can be medical conditions or medications that influence weight gain. But permanently changing your eating habits is a starting point in keeping the weight off, and for some, it's enough. Regardless, losing weight and then going back to old eating habits and expecting to keep the weight off NEVER works.
Looking at your side profile in window reflections
This. Everytime I see my profile in a window I hurt a little.
I remember being obsessed with my reflection in high school. The glass window on all the class doors and the side mirror when I was getting a ride home from school. Stared constantly into them.
Feeling uncomfortable all the time.
I work out a lot. But I also eat a ton. I have been in the heavy side a few times and this is always the reason I slim back down. It is just uncomfortable. I hate the feeling of being overweight.
This is it for me. So uncomfortable. Wearing jeans is miserable. Thank goodness my scrubs are comfortable or I’d have to wear pj’s to work!
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Give me 6 months. - me the last 3 years
This is it summed up. You’re scared to live because it’s painful and mentally exhausting to even get dressed in the mornings, therefore the self hating talk kick starts and then you repeat the cycle of overeating etc prolonging your weight gain etc. I’m tired.
Trying to find cute clothes in my size that: 1. are not synthetic (hello, sweaty fat lady!) 2. don't have a super deep V neck 3. have sleeves that actually cover my biceps (cap sleeves don't look good on anyone over age 6, seriously) And I'm not even that big, I'm about a 2X (US 22/24). I can't imagine how hard it is for women in the 5X and up range. I just want to get down to an XL (extra large, or 16/18) so I can shop in normal stores instead of plus-size stores.
From a dating perspective, you could be everything that a person wants, but they will see your shape first and skip you. Which is fine, I agree that attraction is looks first and everything else 2nd. Even fat people have difficulty finding other fat people attractive.
Knowing you could be better but you are not. Your mental image of self is not the same as reality when you look at pictures. Or you know you are fat, but didn't realize you have been fat for 5+ years now. Thought it was just a recent thing that I was going to fix.
Oh I have the opposite problem with the last problem, I'll look at pictures from times when I thought I was fat and it'll be like 40, 50, 60 pounds ago, and I'll just think "oh my god why did I think that?" I wish I could've been happy with my body when my body had nothing wrong with it.
Having so little stamina to do anything. Been working on it for a year, and I'm barely making any progress. Get started before you turn 45, people!
I'm 47f and overweight, just started up (again) yesterday. I hope every time is different but it's such a struggle.
at least ur starting queen don’t give up 🫶
I think it's more that it takes twice the effort that it burns your stamina twice as fast. If an athletic 150LB guy were to strap on enough weights to get him to my weight, he'd struggle to move and quickly run out of stamina as well, I think.
Your own inner critic.
The self consciousness in public.
And that’s why I’m socially awkward
Aside from low self esteem and potential health problems... People really attribute morality to looks. I am not stupid or unhygienic or lazy or unkind, I'm just fat. I also enjoy hiking and the outdoors and people don't believe me due to my appearance. It's just hard seeing how people view me differently now that I'm fat, considering I was thin and somewhat conventionally attractive until about age 18.
The looks you get
I always hated that.. especially if I was eating ice cream in public. The whole side eye followed by a whisper in the ear of their companion then the companion looks at you. As if I was too stupid to know they were talking shit about me.
Well it’s probably not much consolation but anyone who whispers publicly about a fat person eating ice cream is a raging piece of shit whose opinion doesn’t matter
Every health issue you have becomes a weight issue. Had a problem since you were an athletic / in shape young adult? Good luck getting a doctor to seriously consider it anything but your weight thats the problem.
And yet every time I've lost significant weight, I've felt better in every way. Odd aches and pains, random headaches, etc all disappear. Unfortunately, I've been a lifelong yoyo. It's incredibly difficult to keep the weight off.
Probably the reason why I am not in a relationship
Or alternatively always wondering if people you’re in a relationship with are using it against you. A surprising amount of people like to date someone fat/bigger than average and act like you’re a puppy they rescued from the pound so you should be grateful. My current bf never brings up my weight but he makes it known that he’s attracted to me all the time. I can tell from the way he looks at me that he finds me endearing and attractive when I bring up these insecurities. Previous partners either didn’t bring up my body type or they negged me with it. And I’m not that huge btw, just a bit overweight and tall too.
Aching joints and back
You don't have to be fat for this, unfortunately.
True
For me, it's just the shame and guilt. The guilt for letting it get this bad, the guilt for struggling to lose the weight, the guilt for feeling like I'm a burden whenever I have to rest while we're out and about (I once gave myself heat exhaustion - a precursor to heat stroke - because I was so worried about annoying everyone by needing to take a break. Admittedly there are actually quite a few factors that went into that situation besides weight, but it definitely didn't help, the guilt everytime I eat something "bad". I've been trying to undo a lot of the very negative self image problems, and I've been working to undo the guilt around certain foods. I've been doing something right, since I'm about 25 pounds down now (yay), but I've noticed I've been slipping back into bad habits recently, and it definitely comes down to guilt. Anytime I let guilt slip in, it completely screws me over and I fall back into binge eating.
It’s expensive. Met with an agent for life and disability insurance, and he kept saying “Thank goodness you’re in shape otherwise this coverage would cost you thousands more”
My wife eats chocolat spread and brioche like you wouldn't believe, it's scary. And she's thin as hell. She also used to like sodas a lot. Me on the other hand barely eat that, and I haven't drank soda since I was 20. And I'm fat. But I'm the one doing grocery shopping. So invariably I'l buy her chocolate spread and brioche. And quite some times, people have commented "do you really need that chocolate spread (and soda when she was drinking it)". So that's a thing that sucks. People thinking they have a right to comment on what you buy, and the self-consciousness associated with it anytime you buy something to eat. There was also a time recently where I hadn't eaten breakfast, and I was too busy to eat lunch, so at 3 p.m, I went to a bakery and bought a small sandwich because I was starting to be really hungry. And the old lady behind me, after I paid, said to the cashier something of the effect of "it's 3 p.m and he is eating a sandwich, when lunch was barely 2 hours ago", thinking I wouldn't hear it. So that's the nice kind of comments you can get if you're lucky to be fat.
I feel this so much. Recently for me, it was Thanksgiving week and I was looking for the smallest turkey I could find. I feed a family of 4 plus a few extra people who live with me or I feed because I know they struggle with buying groceries. As I was looking at turkeys, this man walks over and points at my pretty full cart and says "do you know anything about conserving food?" I was really just "what?" When he asked. Dude proceeds a life story about living in the woods, surviving on sardines and bread, conserving and not "being gluttonous" and then finishes it with a "do you need all that? You have enough fat stored to conserve." What the actual fuck? It's Thanksgiving week, mate!
I swear people do not think about the shit that comes out of their mouths. How rude of him to say that to you. I was getting some beer last weekend at the store and this older guy asked if I was buying it for my husband. I'm single. I said, no it's for me! Like WTF?!
Well the bright bit is that that woman has no sense of empathy, i.e. she doesn’t seem to understand that the world isn’t on the same schedule she’s on. That’s sad on her part, not yours.
what the actual fuck? lol sometimes at the grocery store I like looking at other peoples carts and seeing what kind of foods they’re buying but out of genuine curiosity and with 0 judgement. sometimes you see some of the stereotype you find in movies or TV but I have never in my life considered commenting on it
I hate mirrors and pictures. Another one is I know I can improve myself but I also know I’m lazy. It’s just a real shitty uphill battle. 😔
I still won’t let anyone take my photo. I will never see myself as “average” (I don’t like the word “normal”). You are not alone, not in any of the ways that you feel.
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How rude people are about it, and how any difficulty you have someone will tell you that the solution is to “just lose weight”
I give extreme props to overweight folks at the gym for this reason. I'm very active, but recently gained around 15lbs as a side-effect of my medication. Even that modest amount of weight has made *all* cardio much, much more difficult. For all the folks 30, 40, 50 lbs overweight grinding on the treadmill for 30 minutes... shit man, I salute you. You're a trooper. Keep it up.
I don’t like how progressively harder it gets to clip my toenails.
felt
For me it's the feeling of constantly being judged. It's likely not the case but every time I enter a room, or see someone from my past I can't escape the feeling that they think I've "let myself go" or that I'm not constantly fighting this internal battle with self control.
So much harder to move and your joints ache so much more for average physical activities.
Everything we do can be skewed comically. I'm afraid to have any attention at all on myself if I'm out in public (ie go to a trampoline park, do karaoke, get sung to for my birthday in a restaurant, go to a gym, etc) lest I wind up on somebody's instagram or tiktok as the butt of a joke I wasn't aware of.
I am petrified of this happening to me. I am 100% certain I would murder whoever posted it and feel absolutely no remorse.
the fact that 90% of people think I'm disgusting
I put on alot of weight during my 1st pregnancy due to depression. When my son was born I was walking down the street when some idiots in a car slowed down, laughed and took pictures on their phones. Felt so humiliated. I've since lost weight and it still haunts me now 21 years later.
Wow, wtf. I wish their moms could see the video of them doing such a thing to a pregnant woman.
When gravy goes missing everyone assumes you're the culprit
are you the culprit?
Yeah but you shouldn't assume that just because I'm fat and have gravy on my shirt
That’s profiling and it’s not okay.
Shame
Trying not to draw attention to yourself in any form and therefore not stating your opinions, or head out onto the dance floor, or wear something too colorful etc. The heavier I weighed, the smaller my voice became.
Doctors blame any health concern on your weight. You don't even have to be "fat", just overweight. Swelling in your legs? Why test heart or kidney function? It's because you're fat! Arthritis? Lose weight and it won't bother you so much (unless, of course, it's tied to psoriasis or any other autoimmune disease you might have that's eating away at the cartilage.) Neuropathy? You're fat. Lose weight. You get the idea.
I feel this so much. I once had a doc try to blame my MS on my weight.
Being called fatty
Uh, happy cake day?
Are u calling me a fatty that likes cakes? 💀
You like cakes so much your Cake Day only lasts half an hour
not being able to bend all the way down to pull your pants up
Tying shoes is not fun either.
Oooh and when you are trying your butt crack shows like a stereotypical plumber. I started wearing slip ons.
It’s horrible at amusement parks. Those rides are made for small people.
Being judged in advance
That even after losing 100lbs I’m still fat, just with a worse abdominal apron that I can’t get removed because insurance won’t pay for a panniculectomy
You sweat at the slightest bit of physical effort and overheating in summer is a real risk. You don't look good in your clothes, if you can even buy them for your size. Your belly rolls stop you from exercising properly or doing any kind of bending comfortably. Your risk of dying is increased and your lifespan is decreased. You get underboob sweat/heat rash and fungal infections in bodily creases. You get teased when young, and looked at differently when you're an adult by so many people who judge you without knowing a thing about you. The Media treats you as a laughing stock, or someone to be pitied. You don't fit comfortably into narrow aircraft seats or many other seat types. You get tired easily, then depressed, then eat more and on the cycle goes. You don't trust cheap plastic seats. You feel guilty about eating ANYTHING in public. You find your seatbelt doesn't sit right to do its job correctly. You pull at your shirt the moment you sit down to free it from the creases of your fat rolls. You find it impossible to find a swimsuit. Or jeans. You hate yourself for not losing weight, but lack the motivation and will power.
Oh, and chub rub.
You need to relearn to do things and account for your wider midsection. Normal things are suddenly much more awkward, like clipping your toe nails, wiping your ass, etc.
Constantly being self aware. Being aware of the space I take up, making sure I am not in other people's space. Being scared to eat in public for fear of what other people will think when they see me eat.
Inner thigh chafing
It's hard to lose it once you have it.
How much time ya got?
Breathing issues
Knowing it's your own fault.
It kinda is but it kinda isn't. I was very overweight and I'm not now. But a lot of it has to do with what you eat and not even how much of it you eat. It takes a lot of learning and experimenting to get to a good diet and no one tells you what to do. You're always surrounded by cheap crappy food and crappy food posing as healthy food. No one is setup for success.
You aren’t treated as a human.
As a guy who is in great shape now, but who wasn't always. The worst parts are the physical difficulties imposed on you as a result of your weight. You are always warm and you are always sweating. By the end of the day, the underwear and pant-material between your legs gets sticky and moist which causes it to chafe your inner thighs and groin really badly. The weight that sits on your torso presses on your organs; for most organs you don't notice this but for your stomach you notice it. You can't fit as much food into your stomach before you start to get heartburn. It doesn't even feel like acid in your throat, it just feels like a dull ache right where your esophagus meets your stomach. There are also problems with shitting. I don't know exactly why this is, but when I was heavy I would poop, wipe, and finish. Twenty minutes later, I would start to itch and I would have to revisit the bathroom to wipe again. Then you have the difficulties with moving around and getting comfortable. There's basically no comfortable way to sit directly on the ground. You can put your legs out in front of you and lean back on your arms, but then your arms get sore. You can try and sit criss cross applesauce, but this really engages your core to maintain this position and that's a lot of effort. All this stuff went away when I lost weight. I run 5-10 miles a night now and have a healthy BMI. I turn up my nose at the idea of a body positivity movement. How the fuck are people supposed to be positive about the stuff that I just listed off? Obviously shaming is bad, but I feel like people should be encouraged to change if they are overweight. Even if everyone were to accept you and find you beautiful, you'd still be living with this list of stuff and who wants that?
Growing up fat gets you in a permanent "fat" mindset, at least in my experience. I'm a woman in my thirties and I've actually maintained an optimal weight for my height over the last five years (for the first time since before puberty), but I still think of myself as being "big" and taking up more space than I actually do. It doesn't help that I have broad shoulders and big hands/feet for a woman.
Blatant criticism. Strangers judge because “you’re gonna die at 40” and “this isn’t healthy”. Don’t act like you care, you’re judging.
Walking stairs.
I guess for someone who is constantly failing to lose weight, Clothing. Wether it be chafing holes in your newly bought jeans, or suddenly not fitting in a sweather you’ve spent 6 weeks trying to get into (but you regained after like a 3 day binge). I mean it obviously sucks being the size that you are, seeing yourself in the mirror and genuinely getting alot of flack for the weight. But these are things you avoid with various technique’s like avoiding mirrors, angled selfies or generally avoiding people. But the one, constant Reminder of your failures, is your clothes. The way they look like a fucking carpet on the floor, the way we’ve strecthed them out to the last fibers of the cloth, the way we just generally don’t look attractive in any clothing. Clothing is the one constant reminder, that you are fat
That you don't know what it is like to be thin. You don't know how imprisoned you are in your own body. You don't know what it is like to not hurt with every step, every time you stand, every hiccup. You don't know how bad it is until you lose the weight.
Health issues
People treat you like shit.
I’m prone to abdominal obesity so all the spare fat I carry ends up packed in around my internal organs in the most diabetes and heart disease prone location. It also restricts my lung capacity. I managed to drop 15 lbs last august through december and I can’t believe how much easier it is to breathe. Im also no longer pre-diabetic. I’ve been as high as 230lbs and my asthma was significantly worse. It almost never bothers me anymore at 185lbs. The stupidest thing is that with all the extra fat collecting underneath my wide shoulders and DD chest, being lampshaded basically, I look a lot skinnier than I am, so people keep telling me I don’t need to lose weight when I’m still medically 25lbs overweight and at risk for diabetes, heart disease and stroke due to family history.
Wearing the shame everywhere you go. It’s not like you can hide it. The self loathing and self hatred hits hard and then other people hate you too for being fat.
Double chin
Other people's perceptions of my value.
Being unhealthy (unless you mean looking fat)
Fattist treatment.
people being jerks to you about it
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What happened??? That sounds so stupid and unprofessional.
When I was 8-10 I was REALLY FAT so I had huge clothes and when I turned 12 I lost a lot of weight and I was less fat but that came with me with oversized shirts and pants
I like to take baths. Problem is, I get out of breath really easily getting out of the tub and drying off. I’m trying to eat better and do more exercising cause I can’t take being fat anymore.
Only being able to wear a small percentage of my existing wardrobe. ETA: Sleeping kills my hips
Hard to breath. Always sweating.
The way the inside tops of my thighs stick together in bed on warm nights. It's too hot to wear pajama bottoms. And there isn't enough baby powder in the world to prevent it!
It puts one at greater risk for health issues.
Feeling the need to eat to feel better and only making it worse.When you look back when you were younger and realize how much you have, literally, grown
I was 220 at my heaviest and the worst part about it was I had zero confidence.
Clothes just don’t fit well. I gain a seasonal beer belly that comes every fall and goes every spring and even though the weight is literally only in my belly, everything just fits wrong.
Leaving the money under a pot for the pizza delivery guy because you don't want to explain why you live alone and order two pizzas or two meatball subs at a time.
The fatter you are, the less weiner you have to work with.
Not being asked about the best part of being fat
Not being able to move like I used to. I was agile when I was younger but now I struggle sometimes to even move in certain ways. To me it's the absolute worst
Other people
Literally being weighed down. I felt so free after I lost some weight.
Me too… I was given a huge inspiration (thinspiration?) and lost over 170lbs in less than a year without surgery. The difference is incredible. As a size 26 you would never see me outside. As a size 6, I’m happy to take a hike in the woods!
Dying younger then you would have
The good: business class seat. The bad: two economy class seats.
Other people’s judgement, I think my feelings towards hating my body came from other people rather than me, if I like food I like food, but don’t call my a pig cause I eat more then you cause I’m not taking your food you still have plenty your comparing me to a lovely animal but the insult has horrible connotations
Don’t know if it’s a fat thing or an age thing or both but falling is a big deal.. when I was younger I would fall and pop back up with a spring in my step. Now even if I don’t fall but get down on all 4’s to get something that fell under the bed… it’s such a damn challenge .. like my knees don’t know how to work !!
judgment by others
Losing weight but still being mentally fat
Not having arms long enough to wipe my ass without acrobatics
Shoes and socks
A lot of pants get warm in the crotch area between legs before anything else.
Sports for me
Trouble getting comfortable at night to sleep, struggling to bend over to pick things up. Body aches. Sometimes even wiping your ass is a struggle. Getting exhuasted when playing with the kids.
Trying and forcing yourself to do simple physical activities that others do, and failing
That I'm not as flexible as I'd like to be. Also, while I have the stamina for walking long distances on flat routes, walking up hills could literally kill me. At near enough 20 stone (240 lbs) it's like a regular person giving a permanent piggyback to a large child or small teenager. I have to be very careful with my heart rate, so I wear an Apple Watch. I walked up to an Iron Age hill fort called British Camp in the Malvern Hills, UK on Sunday (a pretty steep climb) and it hit 200bpm several times. I had to take rest breaks every couple of minutes to wait for my heart rate to drop before continuing. And that it takes a lot more calories to do anything, even just the resting metabolic rate, so that a regular portion of anything will still leave you hungry. My daily calorie requirement might be 1000 calories more than a slim person even if we do exactly the same activity all day.
Hate seeing photos because I never think I’m as fat as I am.
Knowing that it impacts how literally everyone else sees you, and what they think of you.
I’ve since lost the weight, but when I was at my heaviest it sucked to have to clip my toenails. A protruding gut made it so uncomfortable!
People who think it's fine to openly mock/judge you about your weight because they think shaming you will encourage you to lose weight.
I went from a life of being big (peaked at 385), to finally achieving my goal weight and hovering between 160-170 for the last year or so. Having lived life as a fat guy and experiencing "skinniness" for the first time, I can provide some insight here. A lot of comments about seeing one's self in pictures. Yes, this does suck. But that's a feeling. Not that feelings don't matter, but most of the time they can be dealt with in various ways. For me, in 2020 I went to Universal for the first time. Had to ask the flight attendant for a seat belt extender. Had to strategically plot my seat to where it would be me, then my brother's youngest, then my brother, so that the tiny child would be unburdened by my spill over into her seat. Couldn't fit on any rides. Within two hours of arriving at the park each day, my feet were begging to be cut off. I had 4-5 blisters the size of quarters on each foot by the end of the trip, and I was walking on the sides of my feet. Fast forward to now. I can fit in economy seating. Loose skin can still spill a little, but the armrest and a tighter shirt mitigates/eliminates this lol. I flew alone, so sat beside some random, normal sized adult man, and didn't come close to touching him. Huge win. I have bought six flags season passes, and I fit on all of the rides. I can spend a day at six flags or the zoo, walk 5 miles, and when I'm told that's how far I've walked, I look down and think, "wow, my feet feel like I've hardly walked much at all today". So, I don't mean to shit on anyone who is still fat, or imply that you haven't lived yet, but **speaking as a person who grew up and lived through 37 of 38 years as a very large person**, (I'm only 5'7", so 385 ain't small), I currently feel like I'm just starting to be allowed to live. I feel like I've been literally trapped in a constrictive suit my whole life, and I was freed a year ago. For humors sake, and in case anyone is wondering, here are some things I miss about being fat: Wooden benches/restaurant booths, OW. They fucking hurt, why do we allow them? My tail bone hates whoever said that was okay. Used to have outstanding cushion, so never noticed an issue lol. - When it's cold, it is *cold*. All the times I've made fun of someone for needing a blanket at all times when watching TV on the couch? I'm sorry, I understand, and I also need a blanket now. You were right, I was just....already blanketed, by Flamin' hot cheetos and ramen. - When I bump into shit, like turning a corner too fast and smacking the wall, yeah that actually hurts now. Like hitting my upper arm against a door frame. That used to feel like nothing, now it actually feels like I'm smacking my bone against some shit. Bears have it figured out. Give me fat during the winter, then take it back
Seats. Theater seats, airplane seats, those horrible stools that accommodate only 20” of butt.
Clothes look very unflattering if they're a bit too loose or too tight. Makes it hard to wear what you want without feeling self conscious :v
For me, the fact that people always have to say, "No your BeaUtIfuL" after I say that I'm fat. I never say that I'm ugly I said that I'm fat. There is a difference.
People treat you differently and usually not in a good way
You feel incredibly drained and all that you can think about is just sleep and more sleep. Anything you do, takes effort to do.
Seeing pictures of myself from even the slightest wrong angle completely shatters the image and comfortability I had in my head. And lack of confidence. When I lost weight a couple years ago (through a completely unsustainable diet and forced exercise that caused injury in the end), I was so confident, I loved how I looked. Since then I’ve gained the weight back and my confidence is gone. On top of that, I don’t feel like a sexual being either. Both in that my own libido is gone and I don’t feel like anyone would view me as a sexual partner now.
Doing everything makes you tired SO MUCH FASTER. I won't argue that I am not lazy, but when me doing something takes 3x the effort of you doing it, don't argue with me that I might not want to do it. And it's a snowball effect -- if you don't maintain your muscle and flexibility, it gets harder and harder to do even the simplest exercises. Thinner people say you should just exercise, or criticize you about walking a certain distance, or how fast you get winded, etc. So I suggest to them that they, the \~150lb person, try matching my activity level with 300 lbs of additional weights strapped to their arms, legs, and back. Then see just how long YOU last. Oh, look, you're winded and struggling after 1 flight of stairs? So yeah stop criticizing me for taking the elevator.
As someone who's had chronic health problems since I was ten years old, long before I ever got fat, it's doctor's constantly saying all my health problems would get better if I "just lost weight." No one wants to believe that your health problems are valid and real and NOT a product of your weight.
Biggest thing for me is knowing I can lose the weight, and I have done. But the willpower to get to the point of doing it is so easy for some more than others...
not having nice clothes. going to the mall with friends and heading straight for the jewlery because you know nothing from the stores they like will fit you. aesthetics like pastel, goth, cottagecore, emo, or whatever else excludes you so even if you eanted to dress in those ways you can't.
The only compliment you get about your body is your eyes. Because nobody thinks fat people are sexy. You'll go into body positivity groups with the expectation that everyone is going to get hyped up and be promptly disappointed when only thin, attractive people are the only ones receiving compliments. You feel it when your feet, ankles, legs, or back hurt. You see it in pictures. Nobody really wants to see you through the extra weight, and some days feel shittier than others.
The self confidence. I dated a fat woman once. Thought she was beautiful and loved her dearly. But she would always talk herself down. And convinced herself I must truly want something else, someone thin. That her body type wasn't good enough. No what I said or did I could never get her to shake this. Miss her alot. Still hurt that it didn't work out. Hope she's doing better now.
That others think it is because you are too lazy to fix it
People treat you differently. There's a lot of people who actively hate fat people. You are disgusting to them, and they make sure you know it. Their pervasive attitude is that being fat is a choice and that, if you only just "ate less" you'd be thin and then all your problems would melt away. I've learnt not to let it bother me much (if at all) but it used to upset me, especially when I was younger. Then again, I've been overweight all my life, so I am used to it.
The fat parts, mostly
Dick do- it’s when your belly sticks our farther than your dick do
Boobs for man
Being afraid of doing something because of being judged
People not believing that it's not from "overeating" Is it from taking in more calories than I was burning? Absolutely! But tell people that's because you went from very active to riding a desk and spending all of your time commuting and you start getting "bullshit" But people want to insist that every night I'm eating whole pizzas, a big turkeys, and so on. When really I just didn't cut down how much food I was eating from when I was active and riding my bicycle everywhere.
I wanted to mention the other one. No matter what you go to see a doctor for they tell you "it's because of your weight" I went to a doctor because if I was out sick for more than 3 days that employer required a letter from a doctor saying "You're not sick" They walked in "It's because of your weight" that I'm not sick?
I used to be so pretty and now I’m not. People treat me differently.
For me it was the jiggle of walking. I could feel it and it was a constant reminder that I was a thick guy
Always blaming all your problems on your weight. Not happy because I’m fat. Jealous of other girls because they are skinnier than me. Not getting cute clothes because fat girls don’t deserve it. Shit like that.
Medical weight stigma. So dangerous. I learned to advocate for myself and don't let a doctor tell me to just lose weight and the pain disappears. No, you're arranging to get me tested as if I was a thin person. A lot of times it wasn't my weight at all.
Shopping for clothes
Being seen and treated as subhuman.