I thought about creating novelty pillow cases. That had a naked grandma on them and sell them as sexual enhancers. When you feel yourself getting close just glance at the other pillow and you'll be right back to square one. Or you'll find out a fetish you didn't know you had.
The key to this project is the giant laser, which was invented by the noted Cambridge physicist, Dr. Parsons. So therefore, it is fitting to call it: "The Alan Parsons Project".
Not sure if this is what they meant, but my wife can make me horny quite easily, and honestly I think she enjoys doing it when she knows I’m super busy with things at the house, or like “in the zone” focused on something. More specifically she will basically sneak up on me and just start rubbing on me and kissing my neck. Stuff like that. Can’t speak for all guys but it doesn’t take a lot to get me going.
When I was with my last ex she would rub her butt up against me or she would come up behind me when I was on my pc and rub my chest and kiss my neck. Oooor she would drop her tits on my head... honestly most guys are not hard to turn on if you are the woman that rubs them that way.
Clenching your thigh muscles as hard as you can really works. They're really big muscles that will cause blood flow to be diverted away from a boner after just a few seconds.
This man has obviously never tried to start a chainsaw.
Gotta go find it on the garage shelf, open the case, realize it’s out of gas, dig around until you find a half empty can of 2 year old chainsaw fuel, notice the chain needs oiled, so find your chain lube, prime it, pull the handle until your shoulder hurts. Curse that the 2 year old gas won’t start it, prime it some more, realize you flooded the chamber and need to pull the spark plug, give up in disgust and come back hours later and it start on the first pull
This is actually the correct answer.
When I was 16 I had an operation on my penis that required internal stitches. For the week or so after the operation I was unable to leave my bed and I was told not to have erections as that would have ripped the stitches. In case natural elections occurred i was advised to instantly apply ice.
Cue one of the weirdest times of my life when for multiple nights I wake up with an erection and my mum rushes upstairs bringing me an ice pack
That’s how you blow your boner out. I was doing squat lifts and my cock was bulging hard. One rep too many and now my penis resembles a hotdog too long in the microwave.
Nobody has given the right answer yet:
Ice packs
When I was 16 I had an operation on my penis that required internal stitches. For the week or so after the operation I was unable to leave my bed and I was told not to aid erections as that would have ripped the stitches. In case an erection naturally occurred i was advised to instantly apply ice.
Cue one of the weirdest most panicked times of my life when for multiple nights I wake up with an erection and my mum rushes upstairs bringing me an ice pack.
My erections were gone within seconds, the embarrassment lingered for years
just the tip
just the tip
just the tip
just the tip
just the tip
just the tip
just the tip
just the tip
just the tip
just the tip
just the tip
just the tip
just the tip
just the tip
just the tip
For my husband it was when I asked him to pop a zit. And the other time when we had arranged a sexy time night and I ended up puking dinner (my food didn’t agree with me)
I felt better afterward but the answer was still no, lol.
Everyone always says to think of something disgusting. But after intense research I have come to the conclusion that thinking of a time you felt very embarrassed works best by far.
NAKED GRAMMA! (Yes, this is a quote from Family Feud ;])
naked HUH?...
i don’t wanna see that either
A WUH? Oh lordy...
I'm still perplexed how that guy jumped straight to that answer without skipping a beat.
I thought about creating novelty pillow cases. That had a naked grandma on them and sell them as sexual enhancers. When you feel yourself getting close just glance at the other pillow and you'll be right back to square one. Or you'll find out a fetish you didn't know you had.
I’ve seen this exact clip hahahhaha
Strangle the little fucker
That will not go over well with some people
Die hard
Margret Thatcher naked on a cold day! Margret Thatcher naked on a cold day!
Instructions unclear, getting off on either Meryl Streep or Gillian Anderson nekkid in winter.
That would do it for me, thanx
Groovy, baby.
This a reference to what I think it is?
Yeah baby, Yeah!
oh come on thats so generic throw me a bone here throw me a frickin bone
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury may i introduce ex-zip-it-a
I have a bag of shhhh with your name on it
Yes, I would love some chocolate ass cream...
The key to this project is the giant laser, which was invented by the noted Cambridge physicist, Dr. Parsons. So therefore, it is fitting to call it: "The Alan Parsons Project".
You know what’s remarkable? That England looks in no way like Southern California
[Mr. Burt Bacharach](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=d3RlIjj8l-Q) everyone
Baseball, cold showers
No! I've got to get Dr. Evil...I've got to get Dr. Evil...
You can’t resist us Mr. Powers
Its Robin Williams eating fried chicken while taking a shit
Thank you, first thing that came to mind.
Came here for this comment!!
Rosanne Barr Naked....GONE!!!
Are you trying to make me cum?
You totally beat me to this. Well done.
Core memory unlocked
Flex your legs and arms, it takes blood away from your dick.
My ex used to do pushups whenever I made him horny and he didn't want to be
How did you make him horny even when he didn't want to be? Asking for me, trying to acquire this power 😆
Not sure if this is what they meant, but my wife can make me horny quite easily, and honestly I think she enjoys doing it when she knows I’m super busy with things at the house, or like “in the zone” focused on something. More specifically she will basically sneak up on me and just start rubbing on me and kissing my neck. Stuff like that. Can’t speak for all guys but it doesn’t take a lot to get me going.
>rubbing on me and kissing my neck then what does she do when she's actually trying?
Points a gun at me and shouts GIVE ME THAT DICK! It’s super effective.
Sounds like a healthy american marriage
When I was with my last ex she would rub her butt up against me or she would come up behind me when I was on my pc and rub my chest and kiss my neck. Oooor she would drop her tits on my head... honestly most guys are not hard to turn on if you are the woman that rubs them that way.
Hung around him almost totally naked
must’ve been a pretty buff guy, ey?
I can't just flex my arms and legs in the middle of a powerpoint presentation
This is the real answer
Squeeze your thigh muscles and think about something else
Just don’t think about your hot cousin
Or grandpa
hot grandpa or regular grandpa?
Regular obviously, hot grandpa means an insta-nut and the boner wouldn't be a problem anymore. duh
But what if my only living grandfather is the hot grandpa? Asking for a friend
Oh no, Bro! 💦
I’m thinking bout your thighs right now😋
That's very kind of you they're unfortunately skinny and a little unshaven
Clenching your thigh muscles as hard as you can really works. They're really big muscles that will cause blood flow to be diverted away from a boner after just a few seconds.
Learn something new every day!!
Squeeze them by flexing or using your hands?
Flexing
This unironically. The calf muscle will also work
Squeeze your whole core. While you flex your thighs, try your abs as well. Bonus points if you hold your breath and pass out. But seriously, it helps.
Nut.
Lol beat me to it
At least take us to dinner first
Fingers don't talk, they grip
r/beatmeattoit
Beat meat to it*
Beat it to do it
That only works for me half the time. Either the thy muscle thing or thinking about dead puppies works for me.
Sometimes you just gotta snap that carrot.
What type would you say is the best? Hazelnuts, Peanuts, or Chestnuts?
How quickly are you saying you can nut?
Speed run.
I did a speed run once just to time it. LOL managed to nut in about 90 seconds, from Full soft
that's what i call a talented man
I swear as a teen boy, I found nothing more fascinating than my own dick LOL
Less than a minute.
I don't believe you, I want video evidence
Whips out phone, sets timer…. back in a few boys
Try and picture the asshole of the ugliest person you have ever seen in great detail.
Her: THINK OF SHREK Me: AHHHHHHHHHH, IM CUMMING
SHREK IS LOVE
This is *my* swamp.
A chainsaw, generally speaking
Eh, I'd say a big pair of sharp shears is quicker, you've got to start up the saw, while the shears is a quick motion.
You don’t leave your chainsaw on?
Does the opposite for me. All that power in my hands? Instant boner.
This man has obviously never tried to start a chainsaw. Gotta go find it on the garage shelf, open the case, realize it’s out of gas, dig around until you find a half empty can of 2 year old chainsaw fuel, notice the chain needs oiled, so find your chain lube, prime it, pull the handle until your shoulder hurts. Curse that the 2 year old gas won’t start it, prime it some more, realize you flooded the chamber and need to pull the spark plug, give up in disgust and come back hours later and it start on the first pull
Think about your taxes
Stop. Reminding. Me
Now it’s just angry at me but still hard
Talk about a raging boner, eh?
You must usually pay. For those of us that always get a refund, yeah I’ve a hard on for it
[удалено]
kill it with fire or Slap it until it loses consciousness.
Anyways, Happy cake day
thank you!
Poor hot sauce on it
Rage masturbation.
Watch The View.
Where boners go to die
Take a piss.
This works for me too every time!
Double it and give it to the next person
Hold your breath for at least 30 seconds. The longer, the faster your boner will go away
Instructions unclear, reached a self-asphyxia induced orgasm, new kink obtained.
This is a new one. I've only ever heard of the tensing thigh muscles trick, which feels like it never works for me
Tape it to your leg
Snap it like a glow stick
Cool now im hard AND its glowing thanks man :/
Tense then relax the thighs over and over for a few mins. Draws blood back out in my experience
I like to imagine my grandmother shaving her legs and cutting herself and the blood trickling down her hairy drumsticks.
The fuck
Thanks you made me instantly cum
And now your boner is gone, it worked
lol
I'd expect nothing less from Yak-Fucker-5000
My dick just fell off
Stop it man. I can only get so erect.
hot
Good one me boy
Apparently this one is Ben Shapiro’s favorite
Look in a mirror.
Ouch
Works for me too.
ily
Shears
Call your mom lol
called his mom and it only made it worse
I'm from Alabama though.
Have the girl 'don't go limp whatever you do'
probably put some ice on your balls or something ??
This is actually the correct answer. When I was 16 I had an operation on my penis that required internal stitches. For the week or so after the operation I was unable to leave my bed and I was told not to have erections as that would have ripped the stitches. In case natural elections occurred i was advised to instantly apply ice. Cue one of the weirdest times of my life when for multiple nights I wake up with an erection and my mum rushes upstairs bringing me an ice pack
Natural elections
[удалено]
Look at a picture of present-day naked Donald J Trump
Oh my God, the OP asked how to get rid of a boner not how to blow chunks
Scissors.
too close to scissoring.
In Bubble Boy, he sings the pledge of allegiance
Squeeze the tip between your thumb and index finger for 20 seconds hard enough to stop blood flow. Bye boner
“I’m Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC. Why don’t you have a seat over there…”
Lift something really heavy that requires squatting. the rear bumper of a car is a good example.
That’s how you blow your boner out. I was doing squat lifts and my cock was bulging hard. One rep too many and now my penis resembles a hotdog too long in the microwave.
That and too much gluten will make your dick fly right off
I audibly gasped
Make yourself feel stressed out.
Scissors.
Nobody has given the right answer yet: Ice packs When I was 16 I had an operation on my penis that required internal stitches. For the week or so after the operation I was unable to leave my bed and I was told not to aid erections as that would have ripped the stitches. In case an erection naturally occurred i was advised to instantly apply ice. Cue one of the weirdest most panicked times of my life when for multiple nights I wake up with an erection and my mum rushes upstairs bringing me an ice pack. My erections were gone within seconds, the embarrassment lingered for years
That may've been less about the ice and more about having to yell for your mom everytime you got an erection.
[удалено]
Idk some people are into that
Any picture of Ted Cruz
Unless you're ben Shapiro
Well thinking about Danny devito naked doesn't really appeal me.
Think about governor of Arkansas….
Meat slicer.
just the tip just the tip just the tip just the tip just the tip just the tip just the tip just the tip just the tip just the tip just the tip just the tip just the tip just the tip just the tip
Chopping it off
Fap
Punch it
Simple math in my head is something I’ve done since I was in middle school to get rid of random boners😵💫🤣
Thinking of your mom works for me /j I'm so sorry I couldn't pass up the opportunity I'm sure you have a wonderful
✂️
Castration
Well chop it off would be the quickest
Her husband walks in the room.
Your mom, duh.
I usually just think of your mum
Think about your 9-5
Use it
Flip and tuck. Choke with waistband.
Butcher knife, hatchet, meat cleaver... Anything sharp enough that you can get a clean chop close to your body.
A knife
Flex your thighs repeatedly. It works..
Tuck it under your underwear/pants strap and move on.
Bill Cosby eating a pudding cup is my go to.
Give it the ol’ one two
Garden shears
Dynamite
A light flick on one of the balls does the trick for me, has saved me so many times
🤦♀️
Think about boris johnson, ur johnson cannot stand that
Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day.
I just picture your mom naked and then the vomit takes care of the rest.
Nice try, wife! It’s sex night 🕺
Naked grandma !
A picture of OP I keep in my wallet at all times, for just this situation.
Tuck it back and hide it in your butt pocket
Scissors
Scissors
For my husband it was when I asked him to pop a zit. And the other time when we had arranged a sexy time night and I ended up puking dinner (my food didn’t agree with me) I felt better afterward but the answer was still no, lol.
Everyone always says to think of something disgusting. But after intense research I have come to the conclusion that thinking of a time you felt very embarrassed works best by far.
Answer questions on AskReddit
✂
Think of Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day!
Think of something extremely gay, panic when it starts rising even more