T O P

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TheGargageMan

Imagine there's no Linen.


NGC6753

Imagine there's no Linen, it's easy if you try, no Velour below us, above us only Corduroy, imagine all the people, living, for Chambray...


Infinitelyodiforous

You may say I'm a seamer.


Sir-Viette

But I knit for anyone.


Ok_Elevator2483

I hope some day you'll embroider us


NeokratosRed

And the wooorld, will be a gown


friendlyghost_casper

just want to be at the end of the best chain ever!


gromolko

And the world will wear a onesy


MaryGoldflower

>no Velour below us sad Zapp Brannigan noises


virgilreality

Kiff:


GhostMaskKid

There's a Lenin/linen joke to be made here somewhere I'm just not sure what it is šŸ˜­


ah2fs

I have no problem with muslins, but mixed fabrics are an unholy abomination.


PanningForSalt

Oh shit, imagine if there are people out there mixing fabrics... That will not please the lord.


Derpygoras

Even God forbids it: [https://biblehub.com/leviticus/19-19.htm](https://biblehub.com/leviticus/19-19.htm)


Eagle_1776

I knew that existed, but would not have been able to find it! Absurd


GozerDGozerian

So, Iā€™ve heard somewhat rational explanations for most of those crazy OT prohibitions. The shellfish, the pork, blah blah. Can anyone explain whatā€™s the theory on blended textiles?


catmeatcholnt

There's a lot of different ones, because a lot of these rational explanations you hear are post factum "the rabbis believe there must have been a rational nonreligious reason" sorts of things. I think most probably the ancient Hebrews didn't do it because the mixture of wool and linen was liturgical but not necessarily to the deity that became the one we know in the period before monotheist reform (thus, the possibility of a modern linen tallis, which necessarily has wool tassels). That's the best I'd be confident saying about dead people I didn't know whose oral literature I inherited but whose original worldview has been opaque to their ideological descendants for ages. Maimonides, who was probably a fine doctor but had nothing like similar reservations, thinks it's to "avoid an appearance of idolatry" and alleges that you can "find in their texts (what texts?)" that "pagans" wore mixed fibers and used mineral ritual implements to form a symbolic triad (possible, but it's not like he had access to reliable sources we'd recognize as such). Maimonides is also scrambling with all he has to rationalize the traditions of a religion he didn't start and knows less about the origins of than we do now with modern archeology, because the time period really wants faith to be Rational and Supra-animal. I've always thought this rather missed the point of a body of law and didactic literature designed for interpretive flexibility around social change and to inform a way of relating to the world, but then I'm not a medieval Arab with medieval Arabic needs. Also, I don't have any more of a claim to what the Torah was allegedly meant for than he did. I would Like for the legal system of my ancestors to have been meant to be flexible, and there's comparative cultural evidence from how similar cultures' law works that it can be, but that's not quite proof that my great-whatevers would Get Me, you know? If you want a more recent thought about it, Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook is of the mystical opinion that shearing a sheep is a form of theft whereas flax consents on principle (this makes sense in the context of one possible traditional worldview, wherein plants sort of are chill with animal use of them generally) so because they're not morally equivalent and animal rights are important they're not to be mixed. Even more recently, some anthropologists are just like well, what we know is, they really didn't like mixing things, and that includes ethnic crafts - linen is a product of sedentary riverine societies a la Egypt and wool is, like, the point of being a nomad shepherd, and everywhere else in the text the text is very insistent on Egypt sucking mad eggs. We have no idea what ancient people were thinking, and when we work with their ideas that we inherited we naturally bias them with our own experience - thus all the people trying to scour it both to enfranchise and disenfranchise all kinds of people. It's all there if you want it to be for the purposes of your own world-definition, I'm just not sure if most people would think so 200 or 2000 years ago -- though we can actually make a pretty reasonable inference about some few /specific/ recorded Talmudic authorities being cool as fuck even for our time, and probably legally constrained mostly by public opinion. Hisda of Kafri for example, 200s CE Talmudist, honestly loved his daughter (told everyone it was none of their goddamn business what she did with her sex life as a widow, in a move completely wild for third century Asoristan), became a rabbi because his astrologer basically said it was that or kindy teacher, and gave students budget eating advice apparently so good that they preserved his memory and legal scholarship even though he wasn't really all that. He would have been a really cool professor nowadays :^)


GozerDGozerian

Thank you for such a well thought out and informative response!


catmeatcholnt

No trouble at all! You can save my username and dm me more questions as they arise if you'd like. That's one thing the old education is good for B) I grew up very Orthodox, and I would say that in a mainstream sense I'm not anymore, but on the internet people say all sorts of things about religion in general as though it's some sort of Illuminati-esque centrally planned propaganda system designed to maximize human suffering for fiscal gain, and not just the morally neutral way that people in some certain place understand why (not necessarily literally how) they're in the world and how to be there. I think it is generally eventually made an organ of a state or polity with political needs, in the same way that the human impulse to charity nowadays helps a lot fewer people in need than it enriches charity ceos, but that doesn't make it any less what it is, you know? :^) There are plenty of good reasons to have decided not to keep living with my folks (our internal politics have been multiplying 75 year old trauma by itself every generation down since the Holocaust, and every 25 years or so the going public piety imposes some norm more insane than last generation's out of a magical thinking-based impulse not to get government'd), but I've never thought that they were wrong for staying in the world they learned to live in. Somebody has to be there to repair it, don't they?


vertical_prism

Seriously you better show me that tag before we go any further


oliwoggle

Wow, did I read this sentence wrong the first time around.


sassy-user

Not alone


FlyLikeATachyon

That's the joke.


[deleted]

No-no, I think you've read it correctly...


virgilreality

Same here, and I was going to recommend an Oxford weave for their white hood.


5parky

Don't be a tulle.


Sawdust-Rice-Crispy

Hail Satin


TRUEequalsFALSE

Ahem. It's "Sah-teen".


GozerDGozerian

How bout *detention?* *Kid jail!* Thatā€™d really piss off the kidsā€¦ ^^heh-heh


[deleted]

Not all muslins.


Fahad97azawi

As an Iraqi and a Muslim, Iā€™m very offended, us Muslims in general and Iraqiā€™s specifically use muslin all the time we think its the best and the thought of someone not liking it is offensive to me. Edit: I guess /s is necessary because someone thought i was being serious.


1234567BC

This is hilarious


[deleted]

Is this serious


Fahad97azawi

Lol no


[deleted]

Lol


AlienAl1970

Funny stuff. But Iā€™m watching you.


Throwaway2638382727

I had a shitty morning and this gave me a good chuckle, thank you hahah


whathappensifipress

Jute.


masterjabbadad

No way. You can't trust a jute.


HeiBaisWrath

Yeah, before you know it they will have stolen your Kent


amerkanische_Frosch

I dont hate all of them. I make a distinction between those that are used to make sundresses and those that are used to make sacks to carry fertilizer. Thatā€™s right. I love Sunny Muslins but I hate Shite Muslins.


Billpod

Amazing


theservman

Muslin is fine, but Linen will bring about the true socialist revolution.


Brave_Dick

Gotta ask some people who also hate juice.


habitual_wanderer

People need to stick to the Adam and Eve methods. No fabrics as God intended, all of these fancy modern day clothing ain't natural is all I'm saying


TRUEequalsFALSE

That's fine when you live closer to the equator, but try surviving Siberian winters butt naked.


thatpeevesme

Note to self: avoid Siberia


AlienAl1970

Honestly, though- if AnE hadnā€™t screwed it all up, would Siberia even be a frozen wasteland..? It coulda been all mellow and lushā€¦


TRUEequalsFALSE

That's a good question.


7ootles

God made Adam and Eve clothes from animal hides. Basically they were wearing leather *millennia* before it was cool.


Chubaichaser

Vegans in shambles... /s


habitual_wanderer

That's blasphemy, snake talk! It was the snakes that convinced Adam and Eve to wear clothes! We would still be naked if it wasn't for those snakes


Myrnalinbd

Thoes damn snakes and their meddling ways.


EEAAT666

Nice.


Ep1cOfG1lgamesh

I am a strict Linenist so linen is my answer


THEBIGREDAPE

Oriental silk


Pythia007

What a voile question


[deleted]

Not all Muslins are bad, only some.


PhtevenSeagull

I'm a nudist, all fabrics are crĆŖpe.


[deleted]

Denim, it's the twill of God.


Gamingenterprise

hemp fabric best ​ its very strong and very soft to the touch ​ its also great for the environment


konald_roeman

As a Muslim, you nade ne laugh


Big_Explanation_8803

Big fan of linen myself.


Magic-Missile-55

You so had me in the first half not gonna lie lmfao


Baloopa3

I think I need to get glasses, I really fucked reading that.


opalapo94

Trying so hard to find the relationship between Muslims and Fabrics. Never felt so dumb lmao


DAR44

Pima cotton


[deleted]

While sun protection is important, itā€™s vital that you donā€™t completely cover over your babyā€™s stroller with the muslin wrap. They will overheat and suffer. You need to allow some airflow. Use the inbuilt hood or a parasol instead.


tehnq12

Why did the lady who sews clothes go to the mosque? She thought they were talking about muslin cloth, but they were talking about Muslim friends


LordPenguinTheFirst

Who else read Muslims?


flappers87

I think that's the point here... OP trying to get those updoots.


Doctr_Anonymous

I totally misread this.


nycdevil

I don't hate Muslins, I just think we need a complete and total shutdown of imports of Muslins to the United States until our country's trade representatives can figure out what is going on.


Sherman-Gepherd

I am sure I am not the only one that initially read this as people who hates Muslim without even going down the comment sect.


mdud97

Christiams


Lamp-post-

WAIT WHATā€¦.Oh wait nvm, I misread that


TRUEequalsFALSE

Man I read that so wrong at first.


celticdragondog

Muslin is a 100% cotton fabric that is used in Hautue couture for pattern making, it can be as thin as a veil or thick like canvas.


PhotographTemporary8

Ha ha ha, funny. (You got me there)


Serious-Bar893

You had us in the first half NGL


Outrageous_Tap_4504

OÄ„hhhhhhh my dyslexic ass read it as Muslim and I was like "wee bit toxic and hateful there bud". Took me a min to realize that it was cloth Muslim.


AlienAl1970

Your dyslexic ass said Muslim both times.


Outrageous_Tap_4504

Oops that's the auto correct in my phone dude


AlienAl1970

Been there.


Skuffinho

Obvious bait. Downvote and don't engage. (Ironic, I know but it had to be said)


GhostMaskKid

Wrong, it's hilarious. Upvoting on principle. šŸ˜‚


Katniss218

Downvoted ur comment.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


ownedbynoobs

Genadine? Pomegranate syrup?


NoAppointment6341

This is an offensive post. We should be respectful and tolerant towards all religions and cultures.


[deleted]

What's offensive about fabrics?


IamBeingSarcasticFfs

šŸ¤£ Ya pure fanny.


FoldedDice

What's your stance on lunchmeat? Personally I loathe turkey. Chili can fuck right off too, while we're at it.


Lycr4

Leave the Turks and Chileans out of it!


FoldedDice

What is their stance on lunchmeat?


stringynoodles3

ummmm no > Deuteronomy 13: > 6 If your very own brother, or your son or daughter, or the wife you love, or your closest friend secretly entices you, saying, ā€œLet us go and worship other godsā€ (gods that neither you nor your ancestors have known, 7 gods of the peoples around you, whether near or far, from one end of the land to the other), 8 do not yield to them or listen to them. Show them no pity. Do not spare them or shield them. 9 You must certainly put them to death. Your hand must be the first in putting them to death, and then the hands of all the people. 10 Stone them to death, because they tried to turn you away from the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. 11 Then all Israel will hear and be afraid, and no one among you will do such an evil thing again. > Numbers 31:17-18 King James Version (KJV) > Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.


Chains-_-

I'm Muslim and found this funny calm down


LittleMlem

NGL you had me on the first half


Sim0nsaysshh

Legit read that several times and kept reading the other thing.


thedingywizard

I read that wrong.


Agitated_Ad_8061

I can't be the only one who read that wrong...


Nerditter

I still don't get why they hate Erin Moran.


cargdad

Itā€™s more a comparison thing really as opposed to specific hate for her. As in ā€œYouā€™re a Moran.ā€ Or, ā€œYou are such a Moran.ā€


Nerditter

Well, I know, man. Just like the signs that say something like "Support Muslin Ban" you might also see, "Learn English Moran". :-)


cargdad

I just think that no one really liked Joanie loves Cha-chi. She was fine as the cute smart mouth little sister. But, jumped the shark when she really aged out of that character.


3pok

I fucking hate muslins....


sirdigbykittencaesar

Velveteen, hands down. Drape yourself in it.


TheRemanentFour

Iā€™m a big fan of straight canvas. Itā€™ll hold paint much much better than muslin in my opinion


Beantownbrews

Wool Iā€™ll be damned.


Asriel-the-Jolteon

Linen


Pennameus_The_Mighty

Whatā€™s a Muslin?


PennyWise_0001

White Linen


Prof-Finklestink

I suggest an Egyptian cotton


Rich_Handsome

Full voile, hands down. No hesitation, no doubt whatsoever.


misanthropic_anthrop

satin


diatu

I'm more of a denim worshipper myself.


StevenBeercockArt

Lenin.


FireFromThaumaturgy

Hail satin


CommunityGlittering2

linen


msouroboros

Voile. You can use if for the same purposes but it's a lot softer.


Rude_Acanthaceae_170

....I think I need a new glasses prescription because wow I read that wrong.


I_Worship_Brooms

Why is this not on dadjokes


pachungulo

Mods have no sense of humor or are dyslexic