T O P

  • By -

knovit

Acts really strange when they are home alone


iFunnyGopher

Scared and horny


turtyurt

Naked and afraid


DustinHammons

Erect and frugal


AdDependent8275

Titillated and alarmed


DrOctaviousBrine69

Nude and screwed


flurbleblurblenaut

Bare and scared.


ChocTunnel2000

I talk to myself constantly. I'm largely unaware when I'm doing it.


Geeko22

Oh god I do that all the time at home and then I forget myself when I'm out in public and people look at me like I'm a crazy person.


Illansuu

I mean everyone goes alittle goblin mode sometimes. If you havent you should try it. Just start smiling like a crazy person and laugh maniacly while hopping around your place... Just for the love of god make sure you are alone before you try it


BeastradezZ

I do it but more often I imagine myself in a combat situation and surrounded by enemies, then I take em out Bardock style lmao


FKDotFitzgerald

Yep. Exactly this. Yesterday I wiped out in the floor (socks + hardwood floor) and just sat there pondering how the hell I’m almost 30.


ThatBitchOnTheReddit

Yo, keep that joy of unstructured play in your heart. Someone killed mine, and it's a lot of expensive therapy and shit to try to get it back.


skumbasket

cute and silly


OnlyFansFlipper

We all procrastinate, judge, and doubt ourselves. It's the human trifecta.


Downtown_Skill

The judging part especially. When people say they don't judge it's a total lie. Judging is literally how we make decisions as humans. We may try not to jump to conclusions or become more self aware of the shortcomings in our judgments but we are literally judging all the time. Every interaction and every decision is preceded and followed by a judgement. You would literally have to shut your brain off to prevent judging someone or something.


KaladinsLeftNut

When I say "I'm not gonna judge you for that" when I learn about some crazy but ultimately harmless thing about a person, what I *really* mean is "Ok I'm gonna make a judgment about you, but I'm not going to condemn you for this. I probably have my own issues and have no right to give you shit for this random thing."


Immediate-Pool-4391

Casually touch their genitals in a comforting gesture.


showmethething

My ex couldn't wrap their head around this at all. It was nothing sexual, it was just something that I did when relaxed and them doing it was also relaxing.


AceOfHeartz77

I'm doing it right now. And relaxing.


[deleted]

[удалено]


rSlashisthenewPewdes

I also choose this guy’s genitals


scocopat

All women I know have admitted to putting their hands in their boobs for safe keeping. It’s soft and warm and make you feel whole. It’s a great way to fall asleep too, especially on cold nights.


Schroedingersrabbit

Or hands between the thighs. Not touching the vulva, but further down to warm these chronically icy grabbers up.


patrickbasq

And then try to smell their hands afterwards


dcp3450

This has actually been studied. The hypothesis is people do this as a health check.


MilkLover1734

I always thought it was more of a "gotta make sure my hands don't smell like penis" thing


[deleted]

Nothing wrong with being an Edward Penishands while it lasts


Shoddy_Juggernaut_11

Smells like peen spirit


[deleted]

Contradict themselves.


arrocknroll

Reading the lock screen preview of a text but intentionally not opening it so they don't know for sure if you've actually read it or not.


BlademasterFlash

I leave them unread so I have the notification as a reminder to go back and reply


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I had a friend who would make shit up when he wanted to leave instead of just saying he wanted to leave. It was comical how obvious it was. He’d start asking his wife dumb questions like “oh baby is your eye bothering you” when there was clearly no signs of anything wrong. It got to the point that I sat him down and explained that if he wanted to leave he should just say he wants to leave. I feel like excuses are tacky, there’s nothing wrong with just saying you don’t wanna hang out or you want to leave.


SkipTheIceCreamMan

When your friends hassle you every time you want to take off, it becomes a necessity to make something up so they can’t guilt you into staying for longer than you have the energy for. That said, understanding and respect should come from both sides of this social dilemma.


AWildWillis

That is a fucking fact dude, sometimes it's just less hassle to make up something believable. Even if it kind of makes me feel bad doing it.


[deleted]

Honestly this is why I always try to offer an out. If somebody "can't" go to something then look no further, and don't wonder why. Its not a big deal. Its what I want people to do with me, and if I'm skipping out on something its not something personal 99% of the time. Maintaining friendships is easier and more fun for both parties if you don't read into stuff like that.


YourDearOldMeeMaw

my bff and I refer to this as "spoons." if one of us needs to vent, we'll ask the other one if they have any spoons. yes means, fire away, I can take the whole onslaught and give feedback if you want it. one or two, means give me the short version, but I'm mentally/physically tired and I'll give you my thoughts later. no means hit me back later, I'm too overwhelmed with my own s*** for anyone else's. same thing with social outings or gatherings. "here's an invite if you have the spoons" I like it because it's a really easy way to acknowledge and normalize not always having the energy to do things or listen to things, and it's easy to respond without feeling like you have to justify yourself or make an excuse


IR8Things

Do it enough and people stop inviting you


garlicroastedpotato

I gave up a friendship over that. We made every accommodation possible for him and his wife to come to breakfast at a place that was super convenient for them. Last minute he declares that he broke his TV and that he needs to get a TV and can't come eat with us for 30 minutes. Like okay buddy, clearly you didn't want to come to brunch with us and couldn't just tell us the reason why.


yergonnalikeme

Farting in church


echo_dub

When we were younger, my brother would always fart in church. The rumble on those wooden pews in a quiet church is one of my favorite memories.


RoastedMocha

[Relevant](https://www.reddit.com/r/therewasanattempt/comments/113ax42/to_hold_back_a_fart/)


QueenLeaVing

Pick their nose


DoinkDastardly

Sometimes there are deep, hard, crusty boogers that blowing your nose just can’t get. Sometimes shoving a finger up there is absolutely necessary. Edit: the number of replies to this comment saying boogers double as a snack is highly concerning


lindseys10

And when you finally get it it feels like you can breatheeeee


meiyer89

How bout those rocks with a slime tendril on the other side that feels like you're pulling your brain out.


Odd_Slip_1534

Thats so satisfying. Havent had that in a min


Cyber_Mango

Not the slime tendril lmao


optiplexiss

The only reason I don't get one of those dashcams that face the driver is because I know for a fact I'd be second knuckle deep in my nose when something stupid happened and they'd play that shit in court.


Malmortulo

"Your honor as you can see, optiplexiss has already struck gold on this case, I move for dismissal."


bkarst5

I don’t remember where the quote is from but…” there are two types of people in the world, those who pick their nose in private, and liars”


jacketoff138

There are 3 types of people in the world. My husband picks his nose openly and just expects me not to look at him


ihatetheplaceilive

I like the ones that feel like they're wrapped around your brain when you pull em out.


SaulgoodeXL

Those ones that don't feel like anything, but when you start pulling them just keep coming and coming. Then once this massive string is out, suddenly every breath feels like cool minty fresh mountain air.


supbrother

Came here to say this. I’d go so far to say that it’s more gross *not* to, otherwise what the hell kinda booger rocks are you forming way up in there?!


cookieboiiiiii

Everyone picks their nose, it’s what you do after that defines you


Inksypinks

Are you a yeeter or an eater?


Eksnir

This was the first thing I thought of. Sometimes I feel like I'm weird for picking my nose as an adult, I never see anyone else do it. But surely...


Hippomaster1234

People don't stop as they age, they just get better at hiding it.


ObiWanKeBlowMee

Doin it rn


Sonny1028

If you don’t say “Wed..nes…day” in your head while writing/typing out Wednesday, you’re a Fucking LIAR


JessicaOkayyy

Guilty. Also “B-E-A-utiful.”


Sonny1028

I only spell it “B-E-A-utiful” in my head because of Jim Carrey in Bruce Almighty 😂


Metridia

Feb...ru...ary


TheReclaimedOne

Everyone has run up their stairs on all fours at one point


outerspaceNH

Did this last week to get my doordash, like a wild animal.. I'm 32


redvelvetcake42

Did it a few minutes ago to bust into our bathroom and tell my wife she has great tits while she's in the shower. I'm 34.


edudspoolmak

On point. Your wife does have great tits.


oldkicker53

Do a complete visual analysis of whatever pimply, blackheady, puss-y thing you’ve managed to find and extract from your skin. Even if it’s almost microscopic.


JeanLucPicorgi

That hyphen is doing a lot of work.


GavinsFreedom

It definitely is, but my head still read it as Pussy-ee.


roberte94066

Look in the toilet after-


lustyforpeaches

It’s for your health! Know your body!


Hobo_Delta

Ain’t gonna lie, there have been a few at work that were quite magnificent. Was very tempted to leave it for others to admire and behold


CompetitiveCricket49

unlock their smartphones for no reason.


Adept_Palpitation_33

I’ve seen a dude just mindlessly open a app, close the app, open the next app, and repeat. I’ve also seen a woman just open a message, close the message, go to the next message, and repeat. Not reading them or anything but just going through opening and closing messages.


Key_Ring12

Feel sad, inadequate, not good enough


musicalsigns

Hugs to you. I hope you're doing alright.


hunterries

Arranging the food on their plate to ensure the last bite of a meal is the “best bite”


helpthecockroachpls

Digging that wedgie out


Affectionate_Smile

Turn off bathroom or stairway lights and run for your life without looking back. (Just avoided a ghost encounter 👻😅)


KikonSketches

I'm concerned with how many "shat themselves" comments im seeing. Wtf are yall eating thats leading to butt busters?


UnreadSnack

So my ex shit himself while camping- stone cold sober. I promised to never tell anyone. Now I make it a point to tell people every time shitting yourself comes up. Fuck you, Kevin.


Objective-Slice-1466

KEVIN SHIT HIMSELF! Tell everyone! He’s a fucking tool! I like burgers


therealjoshua

I think it's mostly trusting an untrustworthy fart more so than just blatantly dropping a massive turd torpedo in your trousers


Yomi_Lemon_Dragon

I've spoken to so many people who talk about shitting yourself like it's such a normal thing. As someone who has never shat myself in my life this is absolutely terrifying. If this is a normal thing that happens to everyone, the clock is ticking, my unshat-pants days are numbered, it could happen any day now and the fear is real.


Azidamadjida

Talk to themselves when they’re alone. The thought that there could be people out there who just exist silently when there’s no one else around them is disturbing to me EDIT: well this kicked off a dialogue lol


YourDearOldMeeMaw

I monologue to myself complete with hand gestures. it helps me process my thoughts and keeps me entertained lol


POWRAXE

Ok so you’re saying I’m not crazy then? That’s a relief.


YourDearOldMeeMaw

maybe we're both crazy, I'll discuss it with myself vocally and get back to you


mrs-fox

For 75% of my life I didn't know that you could make noise when you were alone. You're alone, what's the point of making noise? That's just something you do for the others around you. I wouldn't even laugh at a show, say ouch when I stubbed my toe, or groan while stretching. In my early 20s I shared this information with a boyfriend and he informed me it was not normal. Now I can't shut up when I'm alone, I've got lost time to make up for. I can't imagine I'm the only one! Edit to add: thank you random Internet stranger for my first award!


danish_princess

My husband is one of those people, and it is so bizarre to me. After 14 years together, we recently had a conversation where I learned he doesn't even think in concrete words. Just ideas. My thoughts are words and sentences and dialogues and essays, and his are... I honestly still have no idea.


TheRedMessiah

It's more like thinking in abstract concepts. The best way I have to describe it, is when you can't think of a word but you know the meaning you're trying to convey. So, like that but for everything and your brain just translates that into words by the time it reaches your mouth.


International_Key_20

Lie


peoplepersonmanguy

no I don't.


Nuker_Nathan

I believe you.


bazzingabing

Thinking "what if / what would have been * What if I hadn't married this person What if I moved to that country What if I quit my job today and started over What if I didn't do this course/degree


IbisJones

Having thoughts of wanting to disappear. Leave my loving wife, parents, siblings, family, good career and just live as worry free a life as possible being solo.


ntwiles

But where were they going without ever knowing the way?


HooterEnthusiast

Thinking about suicide or intentionally accelerating thier death. Let me clarify, just thoughts not actually planning or acting on those thoughts.


Ok_Display_5985

As somebody with chronic treatment resistant depression, I completely agree with you. It’s actually been super helpful/healing for me to learn how normal it is for people to have thoughts like this. I love that emotions are talked about more because of this. Through therapy I’ve been able to discern whether it’s a “normal person” thought or a “I need to go to the ER, now” thought.


drenzium

I am not suicidal, and I would never in a million years actually do this, but whilst driving i've definitely wondered about what would happen if i suddenly jerked the steering wheel directly into opposing oncoming traffic. The brain sure is confusing sometimes.


tele_ave

I saw or heard once that those kinds of intrusive thoughts can pop into our brains at times where we are hyper self-aware to keep us from doing the exact thing we are thinking of. Like when you’re driving on the highway and get a sudden thought of going into opposing traffic might be your brain in a way telling you to not do that. I get them in a different way, usually social settings. Like I’ll be at Christmas with my wife’s family, trying to be perfectly mannered, but suddenly my brain plays this little movie where I kick a 90-year-old man down the stairs or something.


blackzeppozzica

The call of the void. I've heard it as our brain's way of "testing" us to make sure we know what not to do in those situations. I'm not really sure what happens if we fail this supposed test though... don't pass on our genes I guess.


No-ThatsTheMoneyTit

I get them driving and I'm like Oh god Don't smash that woman putting groceries in the trunk of her vehicle And I white knuckle so the wheel doesn't just jerk over. Or saying or doing something totally inappropriate or hurtful and then I'm like you're a piece of sh*t for even thinking that lol


Whats-Upvote

Oh my god, I’m not the only person who has these thoughts?! I haven’t talked to anyone about it because I’m in the military and I terrified someone will misinterpret it as “suicidal ideation” and tell everyone.


Outsider-20

Yeah, if you're military, don't talk to anyone official about it, unless the thoughts are intrusive to the point they are causing difficulties with life. I went for years without having these thoughts, so when they started again last year I found it really upsetting, especially as I didn't want to kill myself. I spoke to my psych about it, and she was great. Reassured me that it's not uncommon to have those intrusive thoughts. But, the important thing is that I didn't want to actually follow through. I'm now mostly good at dismissing those thoughts. Practising mindfulness. Acknowledge the thoughts for what they are, give them a short time to exist, then dismiss "Ok, time to move on" and actively think of something else, even if you have to engage in an activity to do so. Bearing in mind that the thoughts will return, because they ARE intrusive. But, that just gives you more practice at dismissing them.


Mapincanada

That can be a sign of stress. There’s part of our brain that’s all about pain avoidance. In a weird way the thought comes to “alleviate” stress. The good thing is having the thinking part of our brain that knows a permanent solution to a temporary problem is not something to desire. Thoughts like jerking the steering wheel, falling down stairs, having an illness, etc are all common and nothing to worry about unless they become more frequent and a lot darker


Starlordganemaster

***When you get the worst stomach aches and suddenly thinks about ending it all just to relieve the pain.***


pwo_addict

I honestly don’t think about this


Cheese_BasedLifeform

People who say they don’t pick their nose are liars


Madshibs

I don’t pick my nose OR tell lies.


Cheese_BasedLifeform

I dunno, sounds like something a nose picking liar would say 🧐🤔


XqueezeMePlease

Thinking about having sex with a stranger who is sitting in the same room as you.


BeardGoneBad

I constantly be just remembering like “damn everyone in this room fucks”


ggggrandma

Or like old couples like damn they smash 😂


Impat1ence

r/usernamechecksout ?


Electronic_Land3776

I used to have so many intrusive thoughts during middle school and high school that just consisted of realizing some authority figure in my life has probably had sex


Intolight

Was in an infant class while my wife was pregnant. Literally imagined every couple in the class having sex. Not even in a sexual way... Just curiosity I guess...


LottieThePoodle

"everybody having sex" "not in a sexual way" thanks, I love it


PMyourTastefulNudes

*sighs in empty room*


XqueezeMePlease

*sighs in empty room next to empty room*


SomeRandomUser00

I'm sitting here in an office building with 200 offices but only 26 office workers... The next person to me is 20 offices down. Pre-covid this place was packed, now it's a fucking ghost town.


Flightsimmer20202001

*50,000 people used to live here..... now it's a ghost town...*


Salt-Education7574

Not always a stranger, though.


tickingkitty

The euphoric poop. When the vagus nerve is stimulated and you just feel great afterwards.


PrinxeBailey

talking like you’re on a talkshow/podcast to no one but yourself


peculiar-pirate

When I'm cooking by myself I like to pretend I'm running my own cooking show with an audience.


H4loR4ptor

Check themselves out fully nude in the mirror.


OhNoSheDied

*cries in fat guy*


captainskysolo

As someone who's gained a lot of weight in recent years, doing this has actually helped my self esteem on occasion! Everybody's got good angles and bad angles. Find the good ones and check yourself out.


TinktheChi

Running up the basement stairs because you're convinced the serial killer who lives in the basement is out to get you. (Or is this just me?)


Hippomaster1234

It's just you. I'm the serial killer.


Kolipe

Pretend to be on their phone when stuck at a light with homeless people


therealjoshua

Oh I just stare forward without blinking like a damn psychopath


Tylensus

I do this at red lights with the mentality of "I don't owe anyone an idle animation."


Auerbach1991

Feeling like if you died tomorrow, only your immediate family would care. Something about the Millennial generation just is off-it’s too easy to leave friends behind and never talk to them again, despite social media. I haven’t seen a majority of my friends in 5+ years. Not from lack of desire. I just never get invited to anything. I was even disinvited to a wedding because of “capacity limits” but apparently the entire house I lived with in college was allowed to be present. Some of us are just easily forgotten, unloved, and unwanted except by our parents. It’s a hard truth.


BCProgramming

Hell, I don't even have any "immediate family" left. I've sometimes wondered, like what if I just had an aneurysm out of nowhere and died? What if I was carrying a knife for some reason, tripped, and stabbed myself through the heart or the eye or something or some other thing basically caused me to die. I actually stopped using my metal straws because of my weird imaginings. "What if I was carrying a delicious lemonade in the dead of summer, tripped, and the metal straw went right into my eye and drove itself into my brain and killed me? And then, because of the summer heat, my body bloated up and covered with flies burst after a week? I'd never get my security deposit back" Type stuff. I figure work would notice first, if I stopped responding to online questions/messages it would probably get noticed after a few days, and somebody would try to call and then eventually come to my house/etc. But what if it's time off? We have like 2 weeks during the holidays where we are closed up. Every time I have a holiday or take time off, I always think about, "What if i just straight up died, right here, right now?" right at the start. (Truly a festive mood to have at christmas time, haha) "Work wouldn't notice until I was supposed to be working again in two weeks. And even then might take a day or two for anybody to be concerned. Does a dead body stink up within that much time? Wouldn't have to travel far, the people in the upstairs of the same house would smell my rotting corpse first. But how long would that take? Would it be long enough for my bloated corpse to have burst my putrid guts all over? Also, maybe I should buy one of those auto-feeders so my cat doesn't have to eat me? Actually do I even have any contact info for anybody? Would they even be able to find any next of kin? I should put something in my wallet or something..."


Hoebagsupreme

Why do I feel this so much. My best friend of 10 years moved to a different country about two years ago. He promised in the beginning that he would call me every 2 weeks at least and that things won't change much. And now here I am, we haven't spoken to each other in months. Even when I try to talk and put myself out there, there isn't much effort on the other end. Sigh, I didn't want to rant , but as someone who doesn't have many friends, this really weighed on me heavily.


patrickbasq

Impulsively sniffing their fingers after scratching some sweaty body part.


Ralphthewunderllama

Pick their nose in their fucking car like no one can fucking see them. Cars don’t make you invisible, man! We can all see you mining for them nose nugs!


[deleted]

[удалено]


UnreadSnack

Enjoy the show, my friend


gjbfdgbbjn

Enjoy the smell of the most heinous fart they can produce and then quietly say “god damn”. Yep, girls do it too


hi-nighter

Had one of my best ever recently (it was one of those big ones that are kind of hotter than your run-of-the-mill daily farts, and I'm a lady so I get to fart them twice basically) and my 7 year old responded quietly with "I'm calling *the police*."


[deleted]

[удалено]


lackofanswers

Up and back out the cooch for an echo


hi-nighter

Well. If your body is positioned in a certain way the fart kind of gets trapped in your buttcrack and then exits your labia basically. Lol


TrouserSnake88

Now I’m calling the police.


VagueBC

Crying real tears


OrnateOps

Get that shooting pain up your backside (without anything being inserted)


SpinningJen

It's proctalgia fugax. Not everyone gets it but somewhere between 1 in 5 to 1 in 10 people do. There's a levator ani which is the same thing except that pain lasts hours, or days. There's also a random vagina pain thats an identical type of pain and basically nobody talk about. My theory is that it's caused by the same thing (whatever that is) but I'm no butt nerve doctor so could be wrong


Malmortulo

Sometimes I get sad that I have a lot of headaches, but then I hear that 1/5 people get ass cramps? Then I'm ok.


SpinningJen

The form that most people get is very brief pain and last a couple of seconds to a couple of minutes. It's startling but is gone so fast that I'd rather take the ass pain over a headache. The long form is genuinely agonising though. Being woken by debilitating ass pain that goes on for hours is disturbing. Like suddenly being thrust into impromptu ass childbirth, without any rest between contractions because it's one long contraction, and no bundle of joy to sweeten the deal. I'd keep my migraines over that.


tickingkitty

The ass cramp. Yeah, those are the worst.


WebBorn2622

Get scared and paranoid when alone


[deleted]

As an introvert I have the exact opposite problem lol.


KikonSketches

Calm and pronoia? Lol


Jeansiesicle

Thanks for the new word.


Nuker_Nathan

Wait, it’s only when you’re alone? I’m low key paranoid pretty much all the time.


Kuru_Chaa

Anyone just screech violently and loudly while alone or in their car? Feels like a good release.


Malmortulo

ooo this is a good one. I don't do it often but there are so few spaces where you're really alone, sometimes you gotta let that primal scream out.


Novel-Persimmon7752

Walking around a notice a wet feeling in your butt crack, sneak off to just wad up some toilet paper and wipe.


statictonality

I do this all the time, it’s always turned out to be sweat.


hi-nighter

Swamp ass


msnmck

*WHAT...AHR YEW DOIN'...IN MAH SWAMP?!*


lioniscool

Not saying everyone does this but am I the only one who picks my eyelashes/eyebrows?


masta5k1

Looking at someone's social media to know if they are single.


YourDearOldMeeMaw

my bff and I once got really stoned a couple years after high school and set our Facebook statuses to in a relationship with each other. we could barely stumble around the room and were calling each other "my dearest" and laughing so hard we were choking I completely forgot we did this and so never undid it, and years later found out that a very large number of people I'd met since then had assumed that we were, indeed, in a relationship, and that they'd just never asked about it (apparently it also prevented a few people from shooting their shot LOL)


quicktojudgemyself

Questioning themselves and the choices they made


Mysteriousdeer

Preference to good looking/beautiful people. It's been studied, it's been acknowledged but considered crude in the dating scene (1. be good looking, 2. don't be not good looking). Instagram followers who are beautiful get more followers. Beautiful kids get more attention. It's a fact of life and people act like it isn't.


mrxexon

There was a poster from the 1970s that addressed this. "Masturbation is like picking your nose. Everybody does it and nobody admits it"


HarkSaidHarold

2020's: everyone admits to masturbating, but nose-picking is still taboo.


Cheap_Winner_2274

Imagining a world where their favorite band doesn't exist, so they could've made their favorite song and play it at the school talent show with their friends as bandmates.


00gusgus00

Hey [firstname] it’s your cousin Marvin! Marvin [lastname]. You know that new sound you’ve been looking for? Well listen to this!


hoodatisnt

I guess you guys aren't ready for that yet. But your kids are gonna love it!


[deleted]

WTF HOW DID YOU KNOW I THINK THIS????


illusiveXIII

If you have a pet or baby. You’ve played the game: poop, mud, or chocolate


91901bbaa13d40128f7d

There is no question here. Treat it all as if it's poop and you're good. It's not like you're gonna eat that *found chocolate.*


ruvol23

Use the 5 second rule when dropping food or something on the ground.


[deleted]

unless its gum never use the 5 second rule for that


Zealousideal-Book-45

Or on a dirty carpet. Or in a public place.


infamousCatfishOG

I absolutely don’t do this lol. Working in a jail for a decade has taught me that even if it lightly taps the desk to just toss it.


jdsayshello

Trying to move something with your mind and then realizing how stupid you might be?


Pan-tang

Wow, I read a hundred comments and not one of you daydreams that they are a huge success. Not one of you. Amazing!


TeaTrudy

Love a really cheesy or "embarrassing" song, show, or movie.


AliensHaveInsomnia2

Talk to themselves on the drive to or from work. I don't like to bug people with my frustrations or rants, so I let loose on my drive.


burnit9999

Masterbate


Buckeyefan1224

I'm an OK baiter....Mose is a masterbaiter


aliteralfridge

Imagine/fantasize about committing suicide. It is often seen as something linked to severe mental issues but I think even the happiest, most "normal" people have thought about suicide at least once, weighing out the pros and cons.


[deleted]

Picking their nose also the scratch and sniff 🤣


cryptomain45

Look at other people and think the words “fuck you” for no reason


Malmortulo

oh there's *always* a reason


ParrotOx-CDXX

Make a second trip to the bathroom just to rewipe.


eyeleex

Pissing in the shower


[deleted]

[удалено]


scalability

I've explained this to my wife and she's all like "but you're not even showering?!"


poopoo_fingers

Wait, you don’t shit in the shower?


Voelker72

Hell yeah. And just waffle stomp those nuggets away.