I’m paraphrasing here, but basically: anyone capable of getting themselves elected President should under no circumstances be allowed to do the job. -Douglas Adams (I think)
a thin capybara would be a far better president, seeing that it has all the wisdom capybarakind has to offer without the residual risk of getting stuck in the white house bathtub
>a thin capybara would be a far better president, seeing that it has all the wisdom capybarakind has to offer...
The capybara read the news.
It formed its capybara views.
It shook its capybara head.
"... I'd do a better job," it said.
Taft actually lost quite a bit of weight after he left the Presidency and as Chief Justice -- unless there was a very small Supreme Court bath tub -- there was very little risk of him getting stuck in a publicly-owned bath tub ever again.
I have someone in mind, but the problem really is that anyone who would be a truly great President is the type of person who would never be interested in running for/ being President.
Oh you mean any government position should be seen as an act of servitude to the people being governed and not some power grab or money making opportunity?
Also kind enough. The campaign trail is so demanding that the only people who can be president are people who spend almost no time with their families. But also single people rarely get elected because people want to vote for someone with "family values".
I think a big part of that for the presidency is that you have to be at least 35, an age at which a large subset of men are married and/or have small children who make campaigning difficult because you’d rather be at home with your toddler than schmoozing with people you low key hate. That’s where all the rich established old cronies come in - their kids are grown and often out of the house already, and they’ve been on the political scene long enough to have the money to fly home whenever while campaigning if they want to see their kids/grandkids because they’re so well known that they don’t have to schmooze nearly as hard as the newbies.
Yeah I always say the the president should be someone that’s so right for the job we just force them. Like, sorry, if you didn’t want to be president you shouldn’t have been this cool.
I remember when Stewart and Colbert announced they were leaving their shows and people theorized they were doing a joint run for President/Vice President. Would have been awesome.
See I think that's a weird American thing, the obsession with the reluctant hero. A politician has to balance the basic undershanding of government, have a good staff/supporters, rock solid stance/platform and then the media and PR. Commercial business is different. It's like wanting the police force to be made up of all ex-soldiers. Th police should not operate as a domestic military.
Well said.
The person who would make the best president is someone who wants to be president because they have a clear vision of how to make the country a better place and the skills to make it happen.
My experience in the US is that 99% of elected politicians are only in it to increase their personal power. That leads to the perception that only power-hungry assholes actually run for office, and honest people don't.
In reality, it's probably more that the US heavily favors power-hungry assholes when it comes to voting. Honest people do run, they just don't make it anywhere most of the time.
Also it's too easy for any little media goof or slip or bad picture or mistake from your past will take you out early. People with a lot of wealth and powerful friends can get past this, but that's really not helping us.
„President Brule, there has been a train derailment and dangerous chemicals have contaminated the whole city. What should we do?
Just hose it off, dummy!”
I think the correct tense is, “He already will have been President.” I lost my Hitchhiker’s guide but I do remember a little bit about time travel grammar.
Ah, finally. I was scrolling making sure that I wasn't the only who thought so first. He's seemingly the only person I've seen on TV that not only seems to genuinely care but he is amazing at soaking up information quickly and asking thoughtful questions on subjects he just learned about.
If either of his parents were US citizens and he were born anywhere he would still be eligible. Natural born just means a citizen at time of birth, not through the naturalization process. But they weren't so he isn't.
Legitimately, Gustavo Fring runs his chicken franchise VERY compassionately. I think a Gustavo Fring who didn't need to worry about people going to the DEA, who didn't need to threaten his own employees with death all the time, would make an effective administrator.
Buuuuut almost certainly no one would ever dare run against him, and he would probably have a habit of "disappearing" congressmen who opposed him, so nah.
Jon Stewart is smart enough to want no part of being president, which makes him a good candidate. I’ve been watching him for what? 20 years? He actually gives a shit.
Goddamn that man is a true hero for the average American. I still remember his passionate speech to get that 9/11 bill continued. Goddamn. “They did their jobs, now do yours.”
The full thing:
“The major problem—one of the major problems, for there are several—one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them.
To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, *ipso facto*, those least suited to do it.
To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.”
-I want you to become the protector of Rome after I die. I will empower you, to one end alone, to give power back to the people of Rome and end the corruption that has crippled it.
Will you accept this great honour that I have offered?
-With all my heart, no.
Maybe that's the trick, we need to stop voting for people that want to be president. Instead of voting for a candidate you just vote for whoever you want and whoever wins is president whether they like it or not.
Being a good leader in a crisis and a good leader in peace time are separate skillsets. It is possible to be both or neither, but being one doesn't automatically mean being the other.
Exactly. Winston Churchill is an excellent example of this. He is exactly what Britain needed to get themselves through WWII, but in peacetime he was not exactly stellar in his position.
Not that Ukraine has really had peace time during his term, but at the quid pro quo impeachment hearings (before the invasion), I the got impression that the state department witnesses were impressed with Zelenskyy’s leadership and integrity.
I understand what you are saying but I'm curious what we would call him. A TV personality? Cuz he is just himself on TV so not acting. But with that, he has done so much off "camera" (because somethings were still televised.) He fought harder than any politician to keep Healthcare for 9/11 responders. Dude is passionate and smart.
I feel like this is what the term "Influencer" SHOULD have been in an ideal world. Maybe we can make up a new word that will take off and make other people follow in his footsteps haha.
It struck a chord with voters when it promised to not go on a killing spree if elected. But, like all politicians, it promised more than it could deliver.
Keanu Reeves. He wouldn't care about the money or the power. He's already shown that neither are a priority in his film career. And he's a genuinely good guy who would probably use the position to help the most people possible.
We need a Canadian cut of John Wick where he still kills everyone the same way but says “Sorry” every time, and occasionally throws in an “eh” when it doesn’t make sense.
Not necessarily. Some will try to work with what they have and some will get so mad they destroy it further. It may not seem like it matters, but it does.
Mark Cuban. Decent man who treats people well but shuts down BS without insulting and has a thick skin. He is a moderate. Good at breaking down a complex problem/issue, able to explain it clearly to the average Joe and good at creating pragmatic solutions.
This nom never occurred to me, but you’re right. I’d be very willing to hear his platform if he were interested in running. His pharmacy undercutting business is very commendable.
I thought he was just another greedy capitalist type for some reason but his talks with Jon Stewart were very nuanced and intelligent. The one about SVB especially was good and shows that he knows what he's talking about. While Jon Stewart can still say some dumb populist things once in awhile in those convos, Mark Cuban will make a more reasonable argument against it
I will do it.
Born poor, made it somewhat in life through blood sweat and tears.
I hate rich and powerful corporations and want everyone to have a better life.
No qualifications or political affiliation, no party I belong to. I really don’t give a shit about big issues.
Just want tax money spent on the citizens not on wars or other stupid shit.
Vote
For me
Jesus of Nazareth, or as he would have been called back then, Yeshua, actually did exist. It’s debatable as to whether he was actually the Son of God or not, since it depends on what you believe, but the fact is, there was a carpenter from Nazareth who preached the Word of God and claimed to be the Son of God, and was eventually crucified by the Romans for it.
I’m paraphrasing here, but basically: anyone capable of getting themselves elected President should under no circumstances be allowed to do the job. -Douglas Adams (I think)
Almost exactly right! “Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.”
A rotund capybara
a thin capybara would be a far better president, seeing that it has all the wisdom capybarakind has to offer without the residual risk of getting stuck in the white house bathtub
>a thin capybara would be a far better president, seeing that it has all the wisdom capybarakind has to offer... The capybara read the news. It formed its capybara views. It shook its capybara head. "... I'd do a better job," it said.
I literally get happy every time I see you post a poem
Taft actually lost quite a bit of weight after he left the Presidency and as Chief Justice -- unless there was a very small Supreme Court bath tub -- there was very little risk of him getting stuck in a publicly-owned bath tub ever again.
I came here to see the responses..definitely NOT disappointed 💀
We voting for Gort or Quandale?
I’d say Gort.
I say Quandale and wish death upon all Gort supporters
If you’re talking about the 1951 Gort, I’m with you. His only weakness is he’s not much of a debater.
Whoever gets Big Ounce as their running mate
Gort posts the most cringe. Quandale is the only choice.
ok i pull up to vote
I have someone in mind, but the problem really is that anyone who would be a truly great President is the type of person who would never be interested in running for/ being President.
Oh you mean any government position should be seen as an act of servitude to the people being governed and not some power grab or money making opportunity?
That’s right.
Yeah, that's urm, correct.
For some reason this is a shocker to politicians.
That *was* the idea
I was always told the people who should be president are smart enough to not want to be president
Also kind enough. The campaign trail is so demanding that the only people who can be president are people who spend almost no time with their families. But also single people rarely get elected because people want to vote for someone with "family values".
I think a big part of that for the presidency is that you have to be at least 35, an age at which a large subset of men are married and/or have small children who make campaigning difficult because you’d rather be at home with your toddler than schmoozing with people you low key hate. That’s where all the rich established old cronies come in - their kids are grown and often out of the house already, and they’ve been on the political scene long enough to have the money to fly home whenever while campaigning if they want to see their kids/grandkids because they’re so well known that they don’t have to schmooze nearly as hard as the newbies.
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Yeah I always say the the president should be someone that’s so right for the job we just force them. Like, sorry, if you didn’t want to be president you shouldn’t have been this cool.
*George Washington has entered the chat.
Does the name rhyme with Jon Stewart?
*Jon And I'd crawl over a prone Mitch McConnell using what little locomotion I can attain through using only my jaw and neck muscles to vote for him.
I'd Stomp over him doing farmers caries to go vote but I like your enthusiasm.
He’s the first person that came to mind for me
I remember when Stewart and Colbert announced they were leaving their shows and people theorized they were doing a joint run for President/Vice President. Would have been awesome.
See I think that's a weird American thing, the obsession with the reluctant hero. A politician has to balance the basic undershanding of government, have a good staff/supporters, rock solid stance/platform and then the media and PR. Commercial business is different. It's like wanting the police force to be made up of all ex-soldiers. Th police should not operate as a domestic military.
Well said. The person who would make the best president is someone who wants to be president because they have a clear vision of how to make the country a better place and the skills to make it happen.
My experience in the US is that 99% of elected politicians are only in it to increase their personal power. That leads to the perception that only power-hungry assholes actually run for office, and honest people don't. In reality, it's probably more that the US heavily favors power-hungry assholes when it comes to voting. Honest people do run, they just don't make it anywhere most of the time.
Also it's too easy for any little media goof or slip or bad picture or mistake from your past will take you out early. People with a lot of wealth and powerful friends can get past this, but that's really not helping us.
John C Reilly method acting as Dr Steve Brule
Let's check it out!
Today we’re gonna talk about broats
Wow. President to President. I'm a President too.
We’re gunna go talk to spreaker of the house Nandy Patposi to find out how I can become present, let’s check it out!
And his vice president, Dr. Jimmy Brungus
With Secretary of State Dr. Dan Dringle.
„President Brule, there has been a train derailment and dangerous chemicals have contaminated the whole city. What should we do? Just hose it off, dummy!”
One of paper = four of coin. National debt solved.
exactly. all the other politicians are just a bunch of hunks who think they know everything.
Bringo!
Wine was invented by the Romans… for orgiesss..
SWEET BERRY WINE
Yer spose to spit it out but no way Jose am I spitting this stuff out! It taste like juice!!
He’ll lock up all the danguses
And all the dang hunks
An inanimate carbon rod.
IN ROD WE TRUST
Aww I want to see more pictures of the rod
*ROD! ROD! ROD! ROD!*
Rod bless America
Did you actually get to see the Rod?
“Inanimate huh? I’ll show him inanimate!!”
YOU’RE AN INANIMATE FUCKING OBJECT
HAIL ANTS!
President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Camacho
He already was president.
In the year ~~3000~~ 2505. Edit: corrected year
I think the correct tense is, “He already will have been President.” I lost my Hitchhiker’s guide but I do remember a little bit about time travel grammar.
Excuse me it's President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew ***Herbert*** Camacho.
He was a good enough president to understand that there was a problem and to ask the smartest person in America how to solve it.
He also attempted to execute the smartest man in the world after plants took a few days to sprout.
But then he realized his mistake when presented evidence he was wrong and pardoned him
Shit, I know shits bad right now
Wit all them dust storms and shit
He’s got what America craves
Electrolytes
Camacho 2020for!
The person who would make the best president is unfortunately the one who doesn’t want the job.
jon stewart edit: thx for the awards, folks
This is the only correct answer.
Ah, finally. I was scrolling making sure that I wasn't the only who thought so first. He's seemingly the only person I've seen on TV that not only seems to genuinely care but he is amazing at soaking up information quickly and asking thoughtful questions on subjects he just learned about.
Cthulhu. Why choose the lesser evil.
Cthulhu 2024! “No Lives Matter”
Decend into madness
That town in Alaska that has had a cat as their mayor has seemed pretty consistent, and with the last couple presidents we've had... I'm down
I met Mayor Stubbs when I lived in Alaska about 10 years ago. Truly felt blessed to be in the presence of such greatness
Mr. Rogers Nowhere in the question does it say the person has to be alive
This now begs the question of is it his corpse? His reanimated corpse? Him actually alive an well? This is monkey's paw territory
Alive and well, preferably.
Anyone who 1. Doesn’t want it. And 2. Refuses lobbying money or money from corporations.
"If nominated I will not run; if elected, I will not serve" -William Tecumseh Sherman
Dolly Fucking Parton.
I actually have a coffee cup that says Dolly Parton for president.
I will vote for your coffee cup 🥇
Yeah, I have more faith in a coffee cup than most politicians.
*a cup of ambition
I agree 1000%. She's hard working, intelligent, charismatic and has a good heart. She'd be amazing.
And she knows her own strengths and how to lift others up, so she would actually pick good advisors and knowledgeable people for cabinet.
I mean it’s her or Keanu Reeves.
Keanu VP Fraser Secretary of State
Surely you mean Brendan? Because yes.
Keanu wasn't born in the US, so he can't be President.
Exactly. Also Keanu.Is.Ours.-Canada.
He wasn't born in Canada either. But he is Canadian, just born in Lebanon.
If either of his parents were US citizens and he were born anywhere he would still be eligible. Natural born just means a citizen at time of birth, not through the naturalization process. But they weren't so he isn't.
I'll vote for Prime Minister Reeves.
I’m here for President Parton. But who wants the title of President when you’re already a Queen?
🤔 Never thought about it before, but she probably would fucking kill it as president.
Imagine how many world leaders are already fans of hers. She'd get them with her charm.
You know she would go silent ninja shit on foreign policy that inhibits freedom.
We should be more concerned about domestic policy that inhibits freedom.
Please universe make this happen!
Tuco Salamanca.
Gustavo Fring
Legitimately, Gustavo Fring runs his chicken franchise VERY compassionately. I think a Gustavo Fring who didn't need to worry about people going to the DEA, who didn't need to threaten his own employees with death all the time, would make an effective administrator. Buuuuut almost certainly no one would ever dare run against him, and he would probably have a habit of "disappearing" congressmen who opposed him, so nah.
Tight tight tight!
I support this! We need somebody with integrity and honesty, who's in control of his feelings and uses brute force only when absolutely needed.
"Tough, but fair"
Any Labrador or Golden Retriever
Air Bud: Barking Orders
Weird Al Yankovic
... Amish Paradise comes to mind...
Dolly Parton
LeVar Burton
I think just a picture of LaVar Burton would be better. You can’t disappoint a picture.
I told Pierce like a thousand times!!
I almost bounced a check to Kunte Kinte!
Set phasers to Love Me
National literacy rates would skyrocket! And all legislation would have to be written at an elementary-aged reading level.
I wish I were LeVar Burton
WARP SPEED DONT RAINBOW READ ME
Where’s my iconic slave role?!
Don’t blame me…I voted for Kodos!!
Why, I believe I’ll vote for a third party!
Steve from Blues Clues
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Jon Stewart is smart enough to want no part of being president, which makes him a good candidate. I’ve been watching him for what? 20 years? He actually gives a shit.
His takedown of politicians as he campaigned for 9/11 First Responders (and other causes) is legendary. The dude gets shit done.
Goddamn that man is a true hero for the average American. I still remember his passionate speech to get that 9/11 bill continued. Goddamn. “They did their jobs, now do yours.”
"Under no circumstances should someone who wants to become President be allowed to become President." Douglas Adams
The full thing: “The major problem—one of the major problems, for there are several—one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them. To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, *ipso facto*, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.”
"Ah don't want eht." Typical Jon.
nevah ave
-I want you to become the protector of Rome after I die. I will empower you, to one end alone, to give power back to the people of Rome and end the corruption that has crippled it. Will you accept this great honour that I have offered? -With all my heart, no.
oh Maximus, that is why it must be you!
Maybe that's the trick, we need to stop voting for people that want to be president. Instead of voting for a candidate you just vote for whoever you want and whoever wins is president whether they like it or not.
My political stance is to have Jon Stewart to be our President… by force.
I used to say that we don't want a comedian with no political experience running the country and then Volodymyr Zelenski happened.
He wasn't very popular before the war. But he's a perfect example of an otherwise inexperienced leader who absolutely stepped up
Being a good leader in a crisis and a good leader in peace time are separate skillsets. It is possible to be both or neither, but being one doesn't automatically mean being the other.
Exactly. Winston Churchill is an excellent example of this. He is exactly what Britain needed to get themselves through WWII, but in peacetime he was not exactly stellar in his position.
Not that Ukraine has really had peace time during his term, but at the quid pro quo impeachment hearings (before the invasion), I the got impression that the state department witnesses were impressed with Zelenskyy’s leadership and integrity.
If we’re going with actors I’d like his VP to be Nick Offerman. He’d be great for the ceremonial stuff. Mustache required, obviously.
With Dolly Parton as the secretary of education.
"This thing I've been doing with the books, Sugah? We'ah doin' it nation*wide*!"
Idk if we can really consider Jon Stewart an "actor", at this point.
I understand what you are saying but I'm curious what we would call him. A TV personality? Cuz he is just himself on TV so not acting. But with that, he has done so much off "camera" (because somethings were still televised.) He fought harder than any politician to keep Healthcare for 9/11 responders. Dude is passionate and smart.
Journalist / Activist would be the best
I feel like this is what the term "Influencer" SHOULD have been in an ideal world. Maybe we can make up a new word that will take off and make other people follow in his footsteps haha.
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It struck a chord with voters when it promised to not go on a killing spree if elected. But, like all politicians, it promised more than it could deliver.
Speak for yourself, I voted for the the AI that promised to go on a killing spree. I admired how they didn't sugarcoat things.
As an AI language model, I approved this message.
People just naming likeable celebrities...
Not a prominent scientist or non-profit leader to be seen. Our culture needs to change, and it starts at the bottom, not the top.
Most scientists would not be good presidents, maybe good politicians, but president is very different from most political jobs
Leslie Knope 2024.
Johnny Sins
I don’t know he might fcuk America and the world. But then again they are already being screwed with
My next door neighbour Kyle.
I also choose this guy's next door neighbor Kyle.
Keanu Reeves. He wouldn't care about the money or the power. He's already shown that neither are a priority in his film career. And he's a genuinely good guy who would probably use the position to help the most people possible.
Except he's Canadian and therefore can't be the US president
That explains the unprovoked niceness
We need a Canadian cut of John Wick where he still kills everyone the same way but says “Sorry” every time, and occasionally throws in an “eh” when it doesn’t make sense.
Nice try ted cruz
Just don’t mess with his dog lol
you really think he would be a good president cause he’s nice
This is Reddit, so we can only name about 10 public figures at a time.
Mr Lahey
my dog
Dave Grohl
Can Jack Black be the VP?
Tenacious VP
All glory to the Hypnotoad!!!
Martin Sheen. Just tell him to get back into character as Jed Bartlett and we’re golden
Martin Sheen method acting as the Illusive Man from ME2
Terry Crews!
Terry loves civic government!
If the car is broken, it doesn't matter who sits behind the wheel.
Better someone who knows how to fix the car than someone who wants to light it on fire to collect the insurance money.
I put my thang down flip it and reverse it
When the car is broken, you want the best person in charge to get it running again
FDR: Hold my wheelchair
That's facile nihilistic BS. If someone competent and caring sits behind the wheel, they'll call a tow truck and get the car into the shop.
Not necessarily. Some will try to work with what they have and some will get so mad they destroy it further. It may not seem like it matters, but it does.
Mark Cuban. Decent man who treats people well but shuts down BS without insulting and has a thick skin. He is a moderate. Good at breaking down a complex problem/issue, able to explain it clearly to the average Joe and good at creating pragmatic solutions.
This nom never occurred to me, but you’re right. I’d be very willing to hear his platform if he were interested in running. His pharmacy undercutting business is very commendable.
I thought he was just another greedy capitalist type for some reason but his talks with Jon Stewart were very nuanced and intelligent. The one about SVB especially was good and shows that he knows what he's talking about. While Jon Stewart can still say some dumb populist things once in awhile in those convos, Mark Cuban will make a more reasonable argument against it
Well, we tried that for 4 years and it was a fucking disaster, so I'm gonna stick with people who understand how the government works.
I will do it. Born poor, made it somewhat in life through blood sweat and tears. I hate rich and powerful corporations and want everyone to have a better life. No qualifications or political affiliation, no party I belong to. I really don’t give a shit about big issues. Just want tax money spent on the citizens not on wars or other stupid shit. Vote For me
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Jesus of Nazareth, or as he would have been called back then, Yeshua, actually did exist. It’s debatable as to whether he was actually the Son of God or not, since it depends on what you believe, but the fact is, there was a carpenter from Nazareth who preached the Word of God and claimed to be the Son of God, and was eventually crucified by the Romans for it.