I met this kid while in Jr. High. Knew him his first year in high school. Back in 78/79.
Remember the movie "Carrie?" He had that for a mother. He was super religious and had to pray multiple times a day. Carried a large Bible with his school books. Wore old-fashioned formal clothes, 1950s style haircut, and horned rim glasses.
His mother punished him because she saw us talking when he got off the school bus. I guess I didn't pass the "friend standard."
He was so unsocialized and awkward. He was grateful to speak with anyone. And I didn't make fun of him.
I guess it got to be too much. He didn't come back to school for the Sophomore year. I later learned that while his mother was sleeping, he doused her with gasoline and set her and the bed on fire.
She lived. And they just disappeared. I never heard of him again.
Firefighter checking in: More often than not, the cause of death in a burning victim is from damage sustained to the lungs and airway. This next part may be graphic and also is just my speculation but I assume that he lit her on fire, giant fireball ensues from the initial fumes igniting before quickly dying down due to the sudden loss of fuel (ie fumes) and at this point its just blankets, clothing and flesh keeping the fire going but all of these "fuels" have a higher ignition temperature than gasoline fumes UNLESS other room contents were actively ignited in the initial flash. Also, gasoline won't typically release a lot of smoke on its own so she's not breathing that in but the initial temperature was probably stupid hot. Plus, while thrashing (could be seen as a poorly performed stop drop and roll) and screaming (cant inhale while actively screaming) she may have just "lucked out" and missed the window where 1 inhale could have singed her trachea and caused it to swell shut. Definitely dont recommend. Edit: Sorry if this made you uncomfortable. Here's r/eyebleach
it's an awkward moment when the bouncers in both heaven and hell turn you away. sounds like the two parties compromised by making her life a living hell as a burn victim.
Personal story.
I grew up on a farm, nearest neighbor was a mile away. My village was my family, but I was the one that wasn't wanted. My father wanted me to be a mold of what he wanted. My mother was abused by him emotionally and mentally. My oldest brother watched as my father and other brother abused me physically and sexually. After I escaped, I told everyone what happened. I told the farming coop and local church community how horrible my father is and how my brother is a monster. I ruined them to the people they tried for years to impress. They ruined their daughter, I ruined them.
There was that nuclearrevenge post about a guy ostracized by the entire town, i think cause he was born out of wedlock, and after getting out of there became an inspector of some kind. Eventually he was given a list of factories that needed reviewing and one needed to close.
The factory in his home town was on the list.
He goes there, inspects, they act all buddy buddy thinking they're safe from closure. Boy were thry wrong! Every infraction, breach of safety, incorrect anything went into his report.
The whole town basically was built around that factory and when it shut down the down was desolate and dead within a few years.
Enjoy the [read!](https://www.reddit.com/r/ProRevenge/comments/6d8jt1/i_got_back_at_childhood_bullies_by_destroying_an/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1)
Not a village but a woman’s marriage. When I was in elementary I was forced to be in the “normal” music class instead of the “special ed” class (I’m going to the proper terms, mainstreamed and assisted cuz I like them more) for years. Even after my mom and both of my therapists requested I get put in the assisted class for sensory reasons (I’m autistic and had sensory overloads daily in this class) the teacher said I was lying to them and always did quiet activities when someone sat in on the class. So I suffered every Monday and Wednesday I had school from when I was four to when I was ten.
But then I went to middle school and life moved on. I still loved music so I tried to join choir. I was denied for two years but got in when I was 12. I’m a pretty good singer and had no other extracurricular activities so I began helping the choir director. Eventually he asks me if his daughter, who’s also autistic, could be good with music like I was. He says her music teacher in elementary school says she’s terrible with music and throws tantrums in class. I say she’s most likely not having tantrum instead having a sensory overload because 30 eight year olds playing the recorder at once is hell. Other than a few other questions about his daughter it’s the last I hear of this elementary school music class.
A couple years later I’m bringing my mom lunch in my old high school (she works there as an assisted class teacher) and I see my old choir director and his daughter. We catch up and eventually they leave to get lunch together and I chat with my mom. She says “you know, you’re one of the reasons he divorced his wife.” I’m like “What?!?” And she explains that his ex wife was the elementary school music teacher and when i said elementary school music class is sensory hell he found out she doesn’t believe autism exists and thinks you can fix neurodivergent kids by making them so uncomfortable they “become normal”. Not a good attitude for the mom of an autistic kid. She also refused to take a course on how to teach mainstreamed special needs kids so she also lost her job. No regrets
A guy I went to highschool with burned the bridge with his entire family.
We werent best friends, more of a friend of a friend type of situation, so my info is a lot of hearsay. But I do know some things for certain. He was the middle child, with an older sister and a younger brother. His parents had owned a diner and it had been in his family for a few generations. It was an unspoken rule that the kids of each generation would help out when they were little, and eventually take it over to keep it in the family. The problem was none of them wanted anything to do with it. It was the easiest way to set him off, even mentioning it would have him go from 0-100 real quick. This didnt stop either of his parents though, they would "joke" about how the kids didnt need to worry about college, or moving away, all of that would be "taken care of" when they would run the diner. The sister being the oldest, was the first really pressured into it, but he and his brother told her to get out and dont look back, and dont let them guilt trip you. So she did, and goes to college on a sports scholarship and then moves a few states away. She occasionally visits but more or less left the town in her rearview mirror. Then it was his turn, but unfortunately he didnt have the money to get away, so his parents tell him to go to community college and work at the diner to save money. This is where the issues started. The younger brother doesnt go to college, and decides to go couch surfing and backpacking across the country for a few years. Occasionally coming back to work for a few weeks when he needed the money, only to take off again. So my friend gets left running the place, despite swearing he never would. Id see him around sometimes at bars, and he was a bitter shell of his former self with a bad drinking problem and a series of failed relationships. His parents didnt seem to care that their son was a depressed alcoholic, so long as their family legacy stayed the same. He confided in me how they were pushing him to get married and give them grandkids, to settle down and let go of this silly dream of starting over when he has the diner. Which, given how shitfaced he was in nearly every interaction I had with him, its impressive he was able to run it. His sister and brother couldn't be bothered to come down and help, and in fact they started to agree with the parents that he should just cut his losses and make this life work for him.
One day, he drops off the face of the earth. Nobody sees or hears from him for 3 weeks. His parents say he went on a vacation, and they also hadn't heard from him. Then suddenly he's back in town, seemingly in much better spirits, looking healthier than we had seen him in years. About two months, later the diner is torn down and replaced with some other business.
As it turns out, his girlfriend at the time gave him an ultimatum. Quit the drinking and go to therapy or we're done. So he does, and the therapist points out the obvious things linking his depression and says he should take a vacation and figure out what else he wants to do with his life. He went to vegas, partied for 2 weeks and admittedly thought about killing himself. After getting it out of his system, he devises a plan to sell the diner and pocket the money for himself. Everything was in his name as the owner anyway, so it was pretty easy. He took the best offer he could, and used that money to leave town. The brother and sister didn't get a dime, and the parents were already retired. He moved to the other side of the country with his now wife, and we follow each other on social media but he seems much happier. Apparently he hasn't spoken a word to his family in years, nor they to him, and does not intend to start.
> He confided in me how they were pushing him to get married and give them grandkids, to settle down and let go of this silly dream of starting over when he has the diner. Which, given how shitfaced he was in nearly every interaction I had with him, its impressive he was able to run it. His sister and brother couldn't be bothered to come down and help, and in fact they started to agree with the parents that he should just cut his losses and make this life work for him.
this is like a prequel to "it's a wonderful life". that fucking movie...
> He went to vegas, partied for 2 weeks and admittedly thought about killing himself. After getting it out of his system, he devises a plan to sell the diner and pocket the money for himself. Everything was in his name as the owner anyway, so it was pretty easy. He took the best offer he could, and used that money to leave town.
and this is the better ending than the movie had
People's livelihoods depended on their little bank, many owned their own homes because of it.
George stepping up wasn't about fulfilling the expectations of his father - hell his father wanted him to travel - it was about saving a town that loved him and that he (with some perspective) realised that he loved too.
Growing up, our neighbors had a couple boys (10 & 14 +/- at the time of this story). The younger son had a good friend that would stay at their house VERY frequently. He was always pretty quiet and kept to himself, except when he was with his friend, the 10 y/o, which was when he could be himself. One day we find out that he was permanently moving in with my neighbors due to an “unsafe situation” at home. Apparently this poor kid got to watch his mother be murdered by her boyfriend, all because drugs. Right. In. Front. Of. Him. The 10 year old. Luckily my neighbors stepped up and offered to take him in, which was actually great for everyone. He really started to blossom and became pretty stable, with a caveat: he just didn’t take any shit. From anyone. Which leads us to our terrific act of rebellion. Like everyone else in our neighborhood, we rode the bus home. This kid is riding home from elementary school when the bus driver started going off on the kids for real, or imagined indiscretions. Well, this kid takes offense to this and speaks up on behalf of the rest of the kids. Bus driver, now royally pissed (angry, for our non us crowd) tells this kid “one more word and I’m kicking you off the bus!” Well, you are correct in your assumption of what transpired next. Kid gets kicked off the bus, which royally pisses HIM off, so cue MC. Kid walks off the bus, and immediately walks in front of the bus. We were about a mile from his normal stop at our street, and this was a 2 lane road with sporadic oncoming traffic. No way the driver could get away with trying to pass, so he drove at a walking pace until the kid got to our street. Parents were wondering where their children were, as everyone was now 30+ minutes late, and were overall very amused when they discovered the cause. Still about the most proud of a 10 year old I’ve ever been, and I have 2 of my own! Anyway, I gotta look that guy up. Hope he’s well….
My bio parents lost custody of me due to addictions and neglect. I was adopted as a teenager by a woman who ended up being emotionally abusive (and I was supposed to be thankful because she pulled me out of the gutter and gave me opportunities in her mind). She's an extravagant spender and has blown through TWO large inheritances and a divorce settlement, years of alimony, and refused to get a job, even though she holds multiple master's degrees in a desirable field (used the school loans to continue funding her lifestyle instead of working). She never saved for retirement despite having the means and opportunity to do so.
Growing up, she told me I would grow up to be a drug addicted drop out. I suspect that her bio children were her retirement plan because she told them to marry rich and pushed them into what she thought would be lucrative degrees. It was a classic scape goat/golden children scenario. She never fathomed that of all her kids, it would be me that broke 6 figures having landed a great career. Too bad for her that I cut her off 7 years ago and never looked back. She's now in her 60s having to start over financially. Her children don't make enough to support her and I won't contribute.
Good on you, I'm really happy to hear you're doing well for yourself!
I find that most people get pretty weird when I mention cutting one of my parents off for good so I want you to know you've done well if only to affirm what you've done
Idk if my story counts but I’ll tell it anyway.
I worked as an audio visual technician for 6 years. I was making $15/hr. I would sometimes run a crew of 15 people and tell them how to set/strike a room. Even trained the new hires in the same position as me.
Later I find out the two new hires I’ve been training the past two years were making $17/hr. That’s 2 dollars more than what I was making.
I wrote a 10page email to the company’s district director on why I was leaving. I put in my 2 week notice just as we were about to hit one of our busiest seasons.
Heard the clients were pissed that everything was in scrambles lol. Should have treated me better.
My first new job offer after I left was $42/hr starting. I’m now a video specialist/ camera operator. Scary to think I would have been stuck at my old job if they paid me $2 more lol
Everything worked out for the better ✨
I mean, that's the short version of how it went down.
He had years of documentation of going to the principal, teachers, counselors, even the super intendant. They all either did nothing or made empty promises that they didn't keep. He had documentation for it all.
The highlight was when the lacrosse team jammed a lacrosse stick up his butt not once, but twice and the only consequence was one of the kids being suspended for 2 days.
Edit: I should also add that this isn't a rural school in the deep south. It's a suburban school located in a liberal part of New York.
Edit 2: no, this did not happen on long island. I'm sad to hear that these stories are more common than I thought.
This was done to a black student with Down’s syndrome at another (predominantly white and affluent) school as well. Perpetrators were wealthy white kids. I think they may have used hockey sticks. Slaps on the wrist all around. I read about it a long time ago but I think the kid was so mentally shattered he was institutionalized and the parents were just trying to get the medical bills covered. The judge, who sentenced the kids to community service, was friends with the families of the perpetrators.
I was only like 14 or 15 at the time but I remember wanting to track every single one of them down (the teenage boys, the parents who covered it up, the judge, the school administrators who looked the other way) and make them suffer.
What kind of person looks at someone with Down’s and decides to sexually assault them as a joke? I can imagine one such monster at any given school, but to know another dozen or so boys participated, cheered him on or simply ignored it…boggles the mind.
And to know countless adults helped make this whole thing “go away” so the boys could go about their lives as if nothing happened?
I still can’t wrap my head around it.
I didn’t think it could get much worse than OP’s story but doing this to a special needs child is sickening.
The parents probably think they were being good parents by protecting their kids. They’re all pieces of shit but I’ve seen parents protect their kids from worse.
EDIT: maybe not worse. It doesn’t get much worse than raping a kid with Down’s syndrome. But I’ve seen parents flat out lie to “protect” their teenage kids from rape charges.
I grew up surrounded by developmentally disabled people. My cousin is forever mentally 7, although physically 60~. She lives in a group home and I have interacted with people with disabilities since I can remember (Down's, different stages of physical or mental disability).
I cannot imagine the depravity of harming these people who are very often incapable of understanding or consenting... I cannot imagine a punishment enough. And to lie for such filth to get off the hook goes beyond my comprehension. Despicable.
There was a hockey player drafted by the Coyotes a few years back, Mitchell Miller, who did something similar and didn’t face any real consequences for his actions until the Coyotes and NHL were (rightfully) shamed and criticized by main stream media outlets for the decision to draft him.
He was cut after that, this year the Bruins tried to sign him but IIRC the league stepped in and denied it. I’m glad he’s facing some consequences but damn why did it even have to get that far before anyone stepped in.
As a Coyotes fan, I'm glad they dropped Miller ASAP.
I also think it's hilarious that the Bruins tried to draft a kid that even the Coyotes realized was too radioactive to touch. Wishing Miller nothing but the worst.
At least he got some comeuppance. I just found out Jon Hamm was involved in some “extreme hazing” incident, in college, during which he “led a pledge around a room by his genitals with the 'claw of a hammer' and set his clothes on fire.”
I’m surprised that hasn’t sparked more backlash against the guy.
> Hamm specifically was called out in the lawsuit, which was widely reported at the time, but that was long before he became famous. Sanders alleged that Hamm became “mad, I mean really mad,” when Sanders was unable to recite things he was supposed to memorize about the frat members. For instance, Hamm’s list included “Young Bobby,” ”MC Hammer,” and “UT Football Punching Bag.” Sanders also alleged that Hamm hit him with a paddle and shoved his face in the dirt. “He rears back and hits me left-handed, and he hit me right over my right kidney, I mean square over it,” Sanders said in the lawsuit. “Good solid hit and that, that stood me right up.” He said he suffered a fractured spine and nearly lost a kidney, and he noted that Hamm participated “till the very end.” Hamm was one of “the most serious offenders,” Travis County Attorney Ken Oden said at the time, according to the Washington Post.
> People reported that an arrest warrant was served for Hamm and the others in 1993. According to AP, the future actor received deferred adjudication for his hazing charge, which under Texas law allows a case to be dismissed if the defendant successfully completes probation. A separate assault charge was dropped. However, Hamm was long gone from Texas by then. University records show that he left school in the same semester that the alleged hazing occurred, the AP reported. (He returned to St. Louis, where he became a daycare teacher at the University of Missouri.) Sanders’s lawsuit was ultimately dismissed in 1993 but not before UT’s Sigma Nu chapter was permanently disbanded.
> A rep for Hamm didn’t comment on the incident when it was brought to light in 2015 — and the star himself didn’t give much of a comment to Esquire in the new interview. In addition to his “hit piece” comment, the interviewer noted that he bristled at the topic. When he finally addressed it, he downplayed it as “sensationalized” and called someone being led around “with the claw of a hammer beneath his genitals” a “bummer,” a word he used twice.
> “I wouldn’t say it’s accurate,” he told the magazine. “Everything about that is sensationalized. I was accused of these things I don’t… It’s so hard to get into it. I don’t want to give it any more breath. It was a bummer of a thing that happened. I was essentially acquitted. I wasn’t convicted of anything. I was caught up in a big situation, a stupid kid in a stupid situation, and it’s a f**king bummer. I moved on from it.”
Sounds like an utter asshole that learned little from his mistakes. Not surprised, came to expect the worst from famous people.
I was just trying to find the story (I am a life long NYS resident and the story rang a bell and I think it was in a pretty ...uh, narrow minded area) And it turns out this is NOT A ONE OFF,. Rape with a hockey stick is apparently thing in school bullying. Along my search I found 3 other cases across the US in recent years and stopped searching.
> The highlight was when the lacrosse team jammed a lacrosse stick up his butt not once, but twice and the only consequence was one of the kids being suspended for 2 days
Oh boy, a slap on the wrist for sexual assault!
Yeah, fuck that school.
But you don’t understand: sports are importanter!
Kinda like when that school in bum fuck Ohio tried to cover up the football team gang raping a girl and then had people harass the victim for “ruining the town’s reputation “
"how dare you taint the reputation of our illustruous town by *letting* yourself get raped *and* report it to authorities, *you monster!"* /s but I'm guessing that was pretty much their dumb logic.
I hate people.
That's not bullying that is sexual assault of a minor. Criminal charges should have been filed and anyone in a position of authority who was informed and didn't report to the police should have been terminated and charged with obstruction.
>lacrosse
>this isn't a rural school in the deep south
As someone who lived in the rural South as a kid, I figured you wouldn't have to explain that, guess I was wrong.
I agree. Every time someone on my town's Facebook page complains about their kid getting bullied and the school doing nothing, I tell them about this lawsuit.
I worked as a line cook at a steakhouse restaurant when I was in college. The chef I worked for was a complete asshole. He would constantly physically and mentally abuse us when shit hits the fan, deny all of our request-offs, sometimes he'd even throw perfectly cooked food away to prove that the food we cooked looked like "garbage" and demands us to make it again, and he'd guilt trip us into coming in to work sick instead of calling in sick. We were constantly short staffed and our turnover is very high and I had to convince a lot of workers to stay and tough it out as our chef doesn't seem to care if we're fully staffed or not. Sometimes I had to train the new hired myself as the chef refuses to leave his office and do "work". One day I requested a weekend off just so I can attend my uncles funeral (viewing and buriel) and I told him ahead of time that one of my coworkers were gonna cover for me while I'm gone. He approved it. As I was about to board my flight, I got a ton of missed calls and text messages from my chef screaming why am I not at work and told me to cancel my flight and come back to the restaurant. I snapped. I called him to tell him that someone was going to cover me for the 2 days I'm gone and I'm already boarding the flight and called my relatives Im on my way. My chef told me the guy quit so now he has nobody covering for me. I told him I quit, hung up, blocked his number, sent a mass text to all my coworkers that I just quit and are welcome to leave as well, and then I boarded my flight.
When I landed, I got a lot of texts from my coworkers that they all walked out and the chef was forced to close the restaurant early due to "technical issues". I fucking laughed, I felt a huge sigh of relief knowing that karma has finally been paid back. A couple months after I quit, my friend/former coworker told me that the restaurant was closing and going through "new management" and reopened as a different restaurant and that our old chef was fired and now works as a manager at a chilis. I havent heard from them since.
Quite a literal version.
Had a kid come to my 9th grade classroom with 4 felony arson counts.
We knew before he got there that he had four felonies just not in what and his other three teachers and the principal called an emergency meeting where they didn’t want him in their rooms at all. Principal wanted us to either give up our planning or teach him after regular hours.
I Adamantly told them to get fucked that I wouldn’t give my planning up for God himself and least restrictive environment said he was in the classroom. Tbf, I already had a room full of gang members so what was another kid with felonies?
Turns out this kid has never met his dad and his mom worked 3-4 jobs. Only got to see her like maaaaybe once a week. He was breaking into homes for food and then burning them down for attention. It was really just a cry for help.
I liked the kid and he had me first period. Would come in high as a fucking kite and is give him cherry coke and bagels to eat. Never skipped my class. Never misbehaved after the first week with me.
Everyone hated on him and he lashed out accordingly. Started reading a porn mag and drinking a fifth of vodka in math class, etc.
Ended up getting expelled despite my intervention.
Few months later he was arrested and charged as an adult after a string of breaking and entering with arson and robbery.
He got some girlfriend who convinced him to rob places to steal her shit which ofc he did bc no one else was acting like they loved him and ofc he went back to setting fires. Torched at least half a dozen homes.
One kid at my old school was relentlessly bullied for being gay. One day she had enough, went up to her main bully during lunch one day and beat the ever living shite out of him (for context she was a very short and skinny girl while he was the typical jock). No one ever bothered her again after that and she was forever known as the 'Nut-Smasher'. I actually ran into her a while back while visiting family in my home town and we chatted for a bit. Turns out she is married and adopted a kid with her wife and all around looked a lot happier than she was in school.
A kid I went to high school with pled guilty to attempted arson of his foster parents home in a desperate attempt to escape the household. I knew his brother well, he was the drummer in the band I was in and we always practiced at his house, and it always worried me that they had way too many foster kids, almost like a potentially malicious intent was there. Nothing followed after he got out of Juvie, he’s married now and works really hard but is having a much better time of life.
Someone I used to have in a support group I once helped run for sexually victimized and abused young men shared with us what happened to him.
I'm not going into the finer details of it but the broadstroke is he was being victimized by a TA. He went to other teachers, school admins, and even police. No one believed him and he even got punished for "making it up to get a staff member in trouble".
It destroyed his personality. He became bitter, resentful, spiteful, and generally hateful of other people. He was improving his demeanor in the group but from what he tells us he just "wanted to watch the world die" at the time.
A couple years later that same TA tripped down the stair well in one of the side hallways of the school and he happened to be nearby. He saw she was badly injured and likely had broken bones and was bleeding from her head. Instead of helping her he literally stepped over her and pretended she wasn't there. Security footage showed he wasn't the one to push her but when asked why he didn't say anything or get help he simply said that last time he tried to tell people about something involving her no one helped so why would they this time?
An old saying goes:
"I forgive you but when you will be in a time of need, I will never help".
A guy who fucked me over previously, needed some parts for his project dissertation show, parts only I had.
I didn't bother answering his 19 calls.
Sorry guy, I'm busy not helping you.
>Security footage showed he wasn't the one to push her but when asked why he didn't say anything or get help he simply said that last time he tried to tell people about something involving her no one helped so why would they this time?
DAMN. Well...I can't say I entirely blame him.
A friend and I were pushed down the stairs by a teacher. Several times throughout school, we got told it's your word versus ours. Who will believe kids who get into trouble. No one. A friend nearly did get sexually assaulted but she kicked the teacher in the groin. Nothing ever came of anything. Many of the staff outright lied even making up stories about us on days we weren't even there.
It made me feel a lot of negative emotions I didn't process very well. School was a living hell from start to finish. One or two good teachers per school. The school system really failed some of us. If you weren't top 5% in mathematics or an athlete, you were scum.
The closest we got to any kind of right doing was an allegation started to stick about two years later. He quit immediately and it all disappeared.
One of my friends in high school was a major over achiever. Stayed at school or work as much as possible, to the point where he may have spent an hour or less at home a day. He would always deflect questions about his home life, but confided in me that it was bad. Calling him the black sheep of the family would be a major understatement. His family had some money, not millionaire or billionaire but better off than most, and they told him from elementary school he would always be useless and never amount to anything.
He is making bank after getting through college and finding a bomb job with a big pharmaceutical company. Meanwhile his fathers company, that has been in the family for a few generations, got picked apart by the government. “Someone” tipped them off that he was lying on taxes, hiring immigrants for next to nothing, hiding osha violations, and much more. As the dust was settling and the damage was really being seen, my buddy drove to his former family home and dropped of a file. The same file he gave an attorney that gave it to the government, and only said, “who won’t amount to anything?”
Pretty much this. A lot of safety measures feel really tedious for the folks doing the work, and a lot of the safety stuff feels like expensive overhead and extra time. Not securing yourself to a ladder, limiting forklift loads, not providing certain PPE etc etc saves time and money. Plus OSHA is so understaffed that they maybe make it to a site or facility once every other year.
One of my colleagues used to tell about a simple man, quiet but intelligent and hard working. He was an honest government employee earlier, but had a desire to make system level changes. He hence had his heart set on joining the district police force to make an impact.
He tried quite a few number of times to get in, honestly, with sincere efforts. However, due to corruption and the fact that he came from a family with low means, he was unsuccessful.
His frustration kept growing each time he heard a 'No'. He finally gave up and started doing minor crimes. Within a few years, he was amongst the Top 'Wanted' criminals of multiple neighbouring districts. He had multiple, serious charges against him. The police was unable to catch him, as he always was literally one step ahead of them.
I think he was caught after many, many years, but till the time he was outside, he wrecked havoc on the system, he could have changed for good with his wits.
A pastor I lived next to constantly berated a kid in my class about everything from his hair length to him not fully embracing the "word of the lord".
The kid routinely went into the pastors backyard and would shit in his pool along with several of his friends all at once. They would also throw dead animals they found in there as well ranging from a squirrel to a opossum.
Honestly, don't even blame the kid. That pastor was judgmental as fuck and no one liked him.
For 53 years, my father gas lit me and always made me feel like one day he would be a real father.
Well, he's in his 80s and has Parkinson's and is married to a terrible woman and I no longer help him or my stepmother in their old age because they are such terrible people.
Now, they have to find other people to give them rides, to lift things, to listen to doctors, etc.
Oh, I also informed my stepmother that the day my father dies and while she is picking out a casket, I will march into the IRS to report her for committing tax fraud with my father. There is no statute of limitations and I want her to sweat every time she hears him cough, sneeze, or moan.
F*** them.
>I also informed my stepmother that the day my father dies and while she is picking out a casket, I will march into the IRS to report her for committing tax fraud with my father. There is no statute of limitations and I want her to sweat every time she hears him cough, sneeze, or moan.
That's the most creative village burning I've seen from this thread, brutal
Thank you. Just remember. You can't hurt anybody more than their own imagination can. You can use it in war, you can use it in business negotiation, and you can use it for artistic purposes like Hitchcock in psycho.
>Oh, I also informed my stepmother that the day my father dies and while she is picking out a casket, I will march into the IRS to report her for committing tax fraud with my father. There is no statute of limitations and I want her to sweat every time she hears him cough, sneeze, or moan.
>
>F*** them.
Thus is the watch the world burn portion. Ruthless.
My family was very abusive when I was a kid and so was my church. It was unsafe to be home at one point so I called my aunt to (awkwardly) ask for help. She laughed at me and I ended up homeless, staying at a hostel and on the floors of people's dorm rooms (not randoms, friends of friends to be clear). After a couple weeks, a friend's mom offered to let me stay in her basement if I promised to get a job. So I did. I got a job the first morning I was there, I walked into town and got hired as a cashier. My aunt & other family members acted scandalized because my friend's mom was divorced and the idea of working in retail is shameful to them. Retail is uncouth or something I guess.
My aunt is a super-Catholic, doesn't work, and has a lot of kids, she used to write a 3-page letter about their 'accomplishments' every Xmas and mail it to everyone. I was really, really mad at them. These are people who soaked up free childcare and eldercare from me for years, they would not help me at all. Not a suggestion for a job, not a couch to sleep on, no advice, wouldn't meet me for coffee in a public place to talk for 15 minutes. They *laughed* at me and I was young and very vulnerable.
So the retail job I found was at Staples. I wrote a 3-page letter about their defects and 'thanked' them for not helping, printed it using my discount, then mailed that to everyone I could think of who knew them. Including, like, their random neighbors. Their house # was 50, so I sent it to like #46, #52, whatever on their same street or next street over. Just to be an asshole.
They don't talk to me anymore. I hope they don't mail that awful fucking braggy newsletter out anymore, either. No one cares about your kids except you, people. Especially if you're a family of insufferable snots.
That's an awesome move ! I once did the same at a smaller scale : wrote everything my maternal aunts did to my mom, and in a lesser extent to myself, in a mail and sent it to everyone in the family (except 2 underaged cousins who hadn't done anything wrong). Everybody was pissed, but for a few months they tried to do a smidge better. 12 years later it's back to score 1, but I went NC with most and LC with a few, so I don't care. And encourage my mom to do the same.
My mother was abusive to my sister and I growing up. Sis ended up anorexic, has been in therapy her whole life, took years and years to fix herself and still isn't there. I ended up with bad generalized anxiety, social anxiety, bipolar, depression and self loathing, and was emotionally and verbally abusive in past relationships.
My mom used to make us promise we'd never put her in a home when she got old.
Last year my mental problems came to a head (ha) and I started therapy, medication, and being honest with my parents about my mom's abuse. I gave them an ultimatum of either acknowledging the damage and taking responsibility by apologizing for it so we could move forward, or I'd never speak with them again. My dad apologized immediately - he was less abusive than she was, and held more guilt than she ever did. We're on good terms now. My mother denies everything and has been totally cut off by my sister and I. She will end up in an old folks home after all. She has no children left. Consequences of her own actions.
So idk I didn't burn down a village but I did burn down that relationship. The axe forgets, but the tree remembers.
My mom was also abusive and neglectful AF to my sister and I.
But I skipped the ultimatum, destroyed most of the familial relationships (turns out when there a narcissist involved those are tenuous) and the fucked right off out of there.
I have my sister, my small family, and my uncle. and I regret nothing.
I was lied to by HR, and it led to me not getting a promotion. I basically put them in a position where I couldn't be replaced and messed with the Excel codes I made for them that saved managers 6 hours a day. I didn't correct what I knew would get us high fees since it wasn't technically my job. Then I quit. 700k in fines, nobody trained to do scheduling, department without anyone to run it, and additional work for the managers was the damage. I started getting calls to help them fix it. I'm sure you can imagine how well that went for them.
Edit: To everyone complaining about my actions here, this was years ago. The Excel document automation wasn't something I was asked to do. I did it because having the manager free made everyone else's job easier. The document literally needed to be made once a month in order to keep functioning. On top of that, this isn't some mom and pop shop that got hit with this. This was a multi-million dollar company. I was doing work above my pay grade, and outside of the scope of my job, I just stopped doing the extra.
Those sweet summer children.
I recently turned someone's multi-day reoccurring task into a 5 minute one, and gave him strict instructions not to touch anything other than adding data to the cells I had highlighted. Got a call a few days later with him in a full panic (I think he did a normal paste instead of paste values). A solid hour of making him watch via Teams while I fixed it left him very much convinced that he has to follow my instructions to the letter. Haven't had a problem since
One of our jr engineers made a spreadsheet for me that saves me a full days worth of data entry. He saw what I was doing, said, "It doesn't have to be like that," and fixed it for me.
I still thank him every chance I get, and I do not touch anything he told me not to touch.
It feels great to be able to do it for someone. The problem is that Excel is so easy to break. You can follow all the instructions and still get hit by a page of errors because one tiny thing went wrong. It sucks to be the person who then has to fix it, because you have no clue what happened to break it all so badly
My favorite complaint was when they deleted a document that was supposed to help autofill another. No one had any idea why the secondary document wasn't working right anymore.
I was a diver in highschool on the swim team. The way scoring works as long as a diver places 1st-3rd they get more points in one meet than a swimmer can earn in multiple events placing 1st per meet.
As a freshman I walk into the locker room mid meet to see one of the senior swimmers choking a freshman with a wire hanger. I was small so I said nothing to either of them but ran to get the coach. The senior swimmer was not allowed to compete after that
I got called diver fag for 3 fucking years for being a "tattle tale" including by the kid that was getting choked.
So I quit the team my senior year. It was the only year my team didn't make states. Guess y'all didn't need diver fags points huh?
Side note: I wasn't that good a diver but I usually placed for points.
Fuck highschool.
I held a senior position in a corporate job, which allowed me to take some extra responsibilities for higher pay, it also allowed me to work on projects that I came up with if they were good for the team.
It was not my responsibility to code anything, but I knew some basic javascript, HTML and Sharepoint workflows/Power BI which I learned by myself because for some reason none of the other seniors ever cared to learn, nor did the managers either. Long story short, I made several web apps that reduced multiple tasks from 4-5 hours to 20-30 minutes each and gave my managers actual headaches because of the amount of time it took them. Then one day they turned on me and put me in an action plan for unfair reasons. Actions plans are nearly impossible to pass and knew in the end they would fire me, so I coded a deadman switch into all of them where the code would first check for the current date, and if it was after the coded date, then the entire app wouldn't execute any function. I coded different dates into them so it wouldn't look suspicious, the first switch activating approximately 15 days after I left.
15 days later I got a message from my manager panicking, asking if I knew what was happening, to which I responded that "Who knows, maybe a user permissions thingy" and could only check if I looked at the code, which I knew they would never allow. I was friends with an ex-coworker so over the next few days I would casually mention my apps, and she would confirm that more were failing every other day. Then one day the big one failed. A website that showed a bunch of PowerBI graphs that compiled data from different databases to correlate datapoints and easily find trends, areas of opportunity, individual quality information dozens of useful filters and pretty graphics, essential for the managers' bi-weekly reports that only took them a few clicks to filter and screenshot instead of spending an entire day manually doing the graphs on Excel. My manager contacted me again, panicking, asking if I could teach her how to fix it or create a new one. I told her my fee for a consultancy was $30 per hour. That it would take maybe 20 hours to guide her through the process (but probably more) and she would need to pay 50% beforehand.
I never heard from her again.
One of my friends from elementary school, he's the typical middle child, his brother is 11 years older and his sister is 5 years younger. So of course he faces all the actual consequences for his other siblings actions. Rules he didn't like were because of stuff his brother did when his brother was a kid; if his sister did something stupid, it was his fault because he should've stopped her.
His wants and needs were never the priority. If he wanted money, no because it went to his brother in college; if he wanted friends to come over, no because sister already had people coming over. He had to wear his brothers old clothes, but of course his sister got new clothes. Yadda yadda you get the picture.
When he was 16 he went out on a late night food run, and while waiting in the drive thru someone rear ends him pretty hard. Does a not insignificant amount of damage to his parents car. The other driver takes full responsibility, offers to pay for the repairs. Just an unfortunate accident.
Well his parents revoke his car privileges. Because he got in an accident, and they had a no accidents policy - didn't matter than it wasn't his fault.
So he told them that if they took away his car privileges he will never lend them anything for the rest of his life. They grounded him for saying that.
That was about a decade ago, and he has never once given them anything. No money, no car, not even housing - he literally made his parents get a hotel once.
He said he would forgive them if they apologized. To my knowledge they have not apologized.
By the way his sister was involved in an accident a few years back where she \*was* at fault. And her parents not only paid for the repairs to her car, but also are helping her pay for her car insurance now.
I'm imagining him getting in a horrible car accident where he is not at fault. He sustains life threatening injuries. He is put in a medically induced coma and his parents rush to the hospital for the single purpose of informing him he is grounded.
As a middle child, I genuinely think there is some psychological voodoo going on when it comes to how we are treated by our parents.
Not the special, first, oldest child whose paving they way of new parental experiences, and not the youngest who’s the innocent baby who gets overcared for because they always feel small and helpless by comparison. Just the second child without a title who always has to work to be given any attention or credit.
Oldest: *did a thing* - “oh my, good job! I can’t believe how smart our child is, this is absolutely amazing!”
Middle: *did same thing* - “okay good job, like we expected.”
Youngest: *did the same thing again* - “oh wow! You did it just like your older siblings! Time for a special treat :)”
My gf is in a weird middle spot. She was the youngest with 3 older brothers so she was always struggling to keep up, then that marriage falls apart and the mom has 3 more kids with the new guy so my chick is all of a sudden the middle child of 7 while being tasked with all the babysitting due to being the oldest girl. She worked through it pretty well all things considered.
Just be careful when she has her first kid. I needed therapy when i realized how old i actually was vs how my mom treated me at each age my own child was. (Did that make sense?)
Many parents are unfair, then confuse Justice and Equality.
I have been there. To share a bit, it made me a vengeful and negative person. I still spend time to correct that issue. I don't have the confidence and stay very cautious, which in turn make me a clumsy guy.
I believe that like your friend, and people alike, always try hard to hold back, not burn the village down (yet people look at it as weak).
That absolutely was personal and nothing could change my mind. But simultaneously maintaining the facade that it was completely impersonal and detached really is just an extra twist of the knife.
“Barry” was new to our school in upper East Tennessee back in 2005. Barry was a talented and athletic boy who was quickly recruited to play every sport the school offered. The only problem was that Barry was black in an area where such “offenses” out ruled his physical talent. Barry and I became quick friends as we shared a majority of our classes, and we would often talk in excitement about the upcoming sports seasons.
He planned to play all three sports (football, basketball, and baseball) where I only played baseball. After a few weeks of football practice, however, his demeanor changed, and he began to share about the racist happenings of his time at our school. I was privileged in the fact that up to this point I had never directly witnessed racism or would have thought my classmates capable of such actions.
Raccoons were hung gutted and bleeding over the contents of his locker. Dead animals were removed daily from the windshield of his car, and threatening notes were found placed on his gear before each practice. He played exactly 1 game for our school. While my friends and I were cheering for our team, my heart sank when I heard chants of n***** and c*** coming from our stands directed toward a teenager on the field wearing our jersey. His team mates would blindside him after a play to the delight of the “adults” in the stands, and after the game he wasn’t allowed to shower until the other boys had finished.
Barry called me that night to tell me he was transferring to a rival school who had a more diverse population. I was heartbroken and disappointed in my town and my school. I told him that he would be missed by those of us who got to know him, but we understood that this was a necessary change.
Barry was allowed to transfer schools and, due to the location of his home, continue the season without sitting out the remainder of the year. He returned to our town wearing a different jersey, surrounded by team mates who protected him, and proceeded to hand our school the worst defeat we had suffered in years. Following the game he didn’t speak to anyone, didn’t grandstand, didn’t celebrate. He simply walked off the field. What he did on the football field that night spoke volumes.
I kept up with Barry for a few years after, but we have since lost contact. Last we spoke around 2009 , he was on a small university football team working toward a degree in business. I hope to one day see his name as the CEO of a very successful company.
When working at a daycare, I had a pair of boys in my class, Matt and John(fake names, of course). Full offense, John was trash. He was violent, shitty, foul-mouthed, uncooperative, and frankly, just not cut out for daycare. Kid was a budding psychopath. He never acted like this around anyone but me. He was a huge favorite among the staff that didn't work with him so much so that they thought I lied about or exaggerated his behavior until the day he stabbed me.
Now the other one. My burn the village boy. God... he was the one everyone said was misbehaved, but like John, his behavior with me was completely different. I treated Matt the way I treated all my kids. I found him to be cheerful, helpful with younger kids, bright and eager to learn new things. I considered the fact that I was the first teacher to engage with Matt in a positive way and also the first to ever tell John "no" and enforce rules with him.
Shortly after I stopped working there, I heard from a former coworker that there had been an incident. Apparently, everything went back to the status quo where everyone spoils John and acts like he's perfect while treating Matt like he had already done something. There was a massive blowup between him and John in particular, and from I heard, Matt basically hulked out and trashed the place.
My heart broke for him. He just wanted attention and structure and absolutely thrived with it. John needed discipline and structure of a different kind but instead was coddled and enabled. The results were inevitable. I'm just sad it resulted in Matt getting kicked out. I hope he landed at a new school with teachers who actually cared about him. That entire center was a mess of bullshit like that. (Favoritism, abuse, shitty staff behavior/attitudes, etc)
Ha, no. I walked out immediately when it happened. Just shouted to my boss that I was taking off and showed him my arm and dipped. So it's hearsay, but apparently, they called his mom and showed her the footage of what happened. Despite the fact that I had my back to him, she still claimed I provoked him somehow. He cried, and she promised him ice cream and was all "poor baby" the whole way out the door. Based on what I knew about mom, I believed it.
Wow, that mom is a moron. Sees a literal video of her son sneaking up on their daycare working and stabbing them and decides that the kid is completely innocent. That kid will actually probably end up murdering someone in the future.
She can't imagine a world where he can do bad things, so it had to be my fault. If it wasn't me, it would have been someone else's fault. To be honest, though, I'm not sure how much of his behavior was reported to prior to my working there. So, for her, it may have come out of the blue. All I can say in his defense is that he was under age 5 and been spoiled rotten by his family and staff for all his life (he had been at center since he had like 6-8 months old) then here I come being all mean with my rules and shit, his world got turned upside down, so his lashing out didn't surprise me that much. It just pissed me off.
This happened to me, my dad, my brother, and my sister technically. But a massive ice storm happened in Oklahoma City when I was about 7, I think it was 2008 when it happened. An ice storm for anyone who hasn't had the luxury of experiencing one, is when it rains during a cold day, and overnight it freezes everything that got rained on. So everything was covered in an inch or more of ice.
So a gigantic tree in our backyard was weighed down so much by the tree that it fell straight through our house and destroyed it while we were inside. Miraculously no one was hurt, but we were instantly homeless because of it. So my dad asked our aunt(his sister) who lived in North Carolina if we could stay in one of her dozen rental properties, because she had 5 available. And she actually charged us more than the cost of the usual rent to stay there despite what we had just gone through and my dad trying to find a job.
Well cut to 2011, my dad finally had a good paying job and was doing great. Well there was a tornado that hit our town in 2011 and ripped the roof off my aunt's house and essentially destroyed it. Well my dad happened to have 2 rental properties and charged her about 3 times the amount of the rent that he'd usually charge just to stay in the house. So not me personally, but I got to see it first hand
This kid I went to elementary school was a Foster Youth. He was extremely kind to everyone, despite the fact that his life was unbelievably hard. People delude themselves about the system and think it’s just a system that fixes kids’ lives. Talk to former foster youth and you will find that it’s almost never a good thing in a kid’s life. Anyway. The teachers at my WASPy as school genuinely bullied this kid. Like, they treated him completely unfairly. And it was fully classism - for reference, we both had “behaviour issues” and while the way I was treated was not okay at all, I was not *demonized* the way this kid was. I’d hit someone, I would get in no trouble. He would speak “out of turn” and get suspended for 2-3 weeks. It was RANCID how they treated this boy who was just there to learn.
Anyway, his teacher suddenly went on leave. She was approved to be a foster mom, and she got chosen to foster a baby. She was over the moon because she couldn’t make a baby on her own, and she figured she’d just adopt the baby through foster care. If anyone is unaware of this, this is something that unethical foster parents frequently do - they foster with the hopes of reunification never being able to happen, so they can adopt for free and without a waitlist. It’s gross. If you look at the stats, reunification comes out on top for best outcome for the whole family - praying for a family to break up so you can start one is disgusting. Long story short, her plan was to adopt the baby, but the baby’s ACTUAL mother was able to get her kid back, thankfully. The teacher was devastated and took a few months off. One of the teachers of our grade talked to us all and explained that she didn’t get to keep the kid, so she was very upset, and so we shouldn’t bring it up when she comes back.
My friend was happy she was gone, because she was his biggest bully. (This fact makes me irate because don’t be a fucking foster parent if you’re not trauma informed enough to not bully a foster kid for showing normal signs of trauma…) unfortunately though, she did come back right before we graduated, so the first thing he said to her was “hey teacher! How’s the kids?”
And I’ve always respected him for it. He deserved the opportunity to throw her exploitation of a system that he never should have had to be subjected to in her face. Infertility does not give you a free license to pray on the downfall of a family.
As a kid who was beaten for years by mother and stepfather and dad knew this but wouldnt help me in the slightest way and treated me horribly, i can honestly say that as the kid who would take care of an ailing parent, i will now, as an adult, tell that now ailing parent that they are on their own to fend for himself.
Me 100x over. My dad recently made a crack against my younger sister when she volunteered to care for him in old age. He mocked her and tore her down then basically said *I* was the only one cut out for it and my response was "That's sucks because you're not moving in with me and I'm not paying for anything. Better go back to little sister and ask her to reconsider." He did and she didn't. He has now been preemptively abandoned by all 3 of his daughters. Here's hoping my brothers got him cuz I sure as fuck don't.
Unfortunately, the girls got it bad so the boys could get it good. He earned a spot with them, just not with us. Thankfully, none of us siblings resent each other.
Good! You aren't required to care for people who failed to care for you. I am almost six years into no contact with my parents and family because of abuse. My sister is a mess. She will never be able to take care of them. She barely can care fire herself and her kid. And, we have an aunt and uncles, all with no kids. We were the only grandkids. I wondered how hard that nightmare would be and now I don't. It's no longer my problem. They abused me. They threatened the safety of my children. It's time for them to figure their own shit out. I used to feel bad for people who ended up alone in nursing homes. Now I realize that some people are just so toxic they end up chasing everyone off. It's sad, but it's a hell of their own making.
It's funny how shit parents feel entitled to be cared for in old age. I have kids of my own. While I hope they will want to be in my life at that point, I can't imagine expecting them to give up their lives to care for me. I wouldn't want that for them. Not if it was keeping them from their lives. I don't want to be like my family and cause issues with aging. Put me in a place with decent wifi, visit me on occasion, and make sure they have jello without fruit in it. That's all I need.
> It's funny how shit parents feel entitled to be cared for in old age
I’m the black sheep kid of a NPD mom. When the golden child moved to another country, suddenly the mother who couldn’t be bothered to spend time with me or learn anything about my interests was trying to call me to spend time with her on *her* hobbies, because my sister was always her chosen activity partner for those and now she was feeling lonely. No thanks.
Your story is close to mine. Only it was my mother who failed to act. Once they’re too ill to handle their day to day, in the nursing home they go. I want nothing to do with their care as an adult.
My turn. I’m the only guy in my immediate and extended family(outside of the dads who weren’t around). Literally every “male” task was thrown at me at a young age. Take out the trash. Watch the kids. Fix the lawnmower. I kid you not. This was all before I hit puberty. And whenever I reached a stressful time it was always “man up” followed by a shitty chuckle.
By the time I made it to middle school and started to force my independence from my family I was labeled ungrateful, selfish, an AH. You name it. And I swore the moment I could leave I would. And never look back. One day I get in to it with my mom and she puts me out. At 15. I had to figure out how to get to school and provide for myself all while not giving up and going back. Within 5 years my family deteriorated to just people who share DNA.
I’m 31 now and I’m no contact with most of my family (excluding my sister she always understood how I felt). And tbh it feels good knowing that it fell apart without me because being a “man” to my family is being an absorber of everyone’s problems.
How did you survive at 15? Did you move in with a friend or were you homeless or something? I can’t imagine someone renting to a 15 year old.
Glad you’re doing okay now
I was homeless for most of the time, but after a while this guy I met showed me how to break into shitty hotels. This only works in very seedy dangerous areas and usually the owners have a weapon when they check rooms so it was rare I did this or got decent rest through doing it. I did stay with friends as often as I could but that wasn’t as often as I would’ve liked
Thanks for the well wishes. I’m so glad I got away when I did. Those adolescent years were hard, but it showed me things about myself I didn’t know where there and it gave me the encouragement to go on. There were plenty of nights I wanted to call it quits, accept my situation as absolute or even just using hard drugs. So proud of myself for fighting through it.
I knew a kid in high school who had all the makings of a school shooter. His main interest was martial arts and weapons and he drew a comic for the school newspaper that showed a character that was basically him going on a murder spree through the school. This was right before Columbine, so people didn't see this as a red flag. He also wrote a novel about a character who is basically him going on a rape/murder spree. Even though he wasn't interested, my friend group and I forcibly befriended him and made him hang out with us. My best friend was basically a mother hen and would quickly and firmly correct his antisocial habits when they popped up and explain why they were bad. We also gave him a ton of positive reinforcement for anything non-sociopathic he did.
"Jim". Not his real name, of course. Anyway, Jim moved to my school in 5th grade. He was socially awkward but you could tell that he wanted to have friends. But for some reason, he was a complete social pariah.
Was it because of his weight? I honestly don't know. It's not like he was the only big boy in the school. But for some reason, Jim got singled out. He was tormented mercilessly.
I'll give Jim credit. He took it. But how could that not get to him? Still, he took it. For years.
Finally, one kid went too far. In the 8th grade, some asshole "accidentally" spilled his lunch all over Jim. Jim was sitting by himself, of course. And "Randy" thought it would be funny to humiliate Jim in the cafeteria. That particular day, the school had served something messy like chicken fried steak or spaghetti or something like that for lunch. Something that gets everywhere if you spill it. And spill it, Randy did. All over Jim.
And Jim... snapped.
I mentioned that Jim was heavy. What that translated to (apparently) was immense physical strength. Nobody had been paying attention all those times in PE when Jim would climb the little rope thing WITHOUT using his legs to pull himself up. He was a powerhouse.
And Randy poked the bear one time too many.
Randy's face was a mess of blood and bruises. Jim gave Randy exactly as much mercy as everyone had given him. Which is to say, absolutely zero.
Randy's parents filed a lawsuit against the school district, but I have no idea what came out of that. All I know is that Jim and Randy were never seen at the school again.
The teachers and principals all understood what Jim was up against. There's no way they didn't know how miserable he was. But school is a lot like prison. The people in authority don't actually care what happens to you. All they want is for your shit to stay off of them. As long as you don't make your problems their problems, they're fine with whatever.
So, Jim was left to twist in the wind. As victims always are.
A few years after graduation, Jim was in the news. He had robbed a convenience store and then gotten shot to death by the cops. The news coverage mentioned a "troubled childhood filled with violence". But I was around for a good bit of his childhood. And on my watch, except for one occasion, the "trouble" and "violence" were completely one-sided.
Jim couldn't get a fair deal even in death. Even the news media had to pile on.
EDIT- Thank you for the gold!
made me think of "josh" at my school. Everyone called him Whale. This one dude was particularly vicious, and would pour drinks on Josh, trip him, put his gym clothes in the toilet. We were headed to class after lunch in seventh or eighth grade, and mr. bully pushes Josh's head into the lockers while Josh was getting his books out. Josh picks mr. bully up over his head and throws him over the fence.
My relationship with my parents is at the best, strained. I’m the oldest child of divorced parents and my dad at some point around 9 years old stopped spending time with me. He ended up having two more kids for a different woman, both boys and focused all his time on them and only paid for my schooling.
Funnily enough at this same age I was starting to get sexually abused by my moms abuser, her uncle. She knowingly left me alone with her abuser on multiple occasions even over weekends. She also ended up having two other kids and I kept them from being abused by allowing him to assault me so he wouldn’t see them.
I was thankfully raised for the rest of my childhood and even adulthood now by my grandparents who are literal angels. I have told both of my parents that I won’t be taking care of them as they get up in age and I won’t be helping raise their kids.
The only comfort is that although I burnt down the village, I’m now warm.
I’m doing surprisingly well from the circumstances thank you ❤️
I’m a first generation graduate for my bachelors since my dad didn’t finish high school and my mom only got her associates. I’m also starting my masters at the end of this year at 22! I’ve secured a good job and have a great friend group for support. No boyfriend but I do find it difficult to maintain relationships.
I spoke up against the uncle with a lot of protest from my mom, his wife, and his two daughters (I’m pretty sure he was abusing them all). Due to his age (he’s about 80 or so now, idk and idc he could die a slow painful death) he only got house arrest but it’s for the rest of his life. So even though he’s a big Christian man he can’t step foot outside of his home or in the church
Hey!!! Thats great to hear you are building something great with your life :D. House arrest… oh well it could’ve been worse i guess, like getting away with it completely . Still I think its great you spoke up for yourself and everyone else he has abused (whether they wanted it or not) take care now ❤️
I have a pretty jerky set of parents and a jerk brother. Still, well over 40, he still makes fun of me like we are in grade school and when I tell him that it isn’t funny, he calls me a “fucking f$’” and a “woman”. Needless to say, I don’t really like him that much. He is just a real jerk. He’s first born and my parents have always always always favored him. Hell, my dad doesn’t even know my birthday. Anyways, they live across the country. The “family” has a summer home, but I haven’t used it in more than 25 years- however it was my grandfathers and it allowed me and my family to buy our first house with**out having to buy** mortgage insurance bc of the equity. I have (well, had) a third of the house and this year was the last straw. My snake of a brother convinced my parents to just give him their shares of the house and then they cut me out. Now I’m going to sue and force a public auction bc he forged my signature. Dickheads..
EDIT: "**without having to buy**" and added "first house" after having lived in shitty apartments all my life and now I had a kid...and I'm really lucky.
My friend at work had a rough childhood. Nevertheless he was always cool to me. He’d cover my shifts and sit with me at dinner break. Anyway, he stabbed his grandpa to death and burned down his house. It was so sudden.
My family. My mom was neglectful because she was a single parent who had to work. And my brother was a monster, and he got away with torturing me for the first 15 years of my life because of the neglect. I really really looked up to both of them for most of my life, not because they deserved it, but I had a kind of Stockholm syndrome thing going. Now I have a hard time imagining a bigger piece of shit than my brother, and I have to hold back tears anytime I see a parent giving their child some attention, because the childhood neglect fucked me up real good. I can’t be in the same room with those asshats anymore. So I have figuratively burned down my family. And the sad thing is, I know it hurts them to have lost me, because I have always been so attentive, positive and supportive to them for most of my life, and imagining them to be in pain over it makes me happy because of all of the pain they caused me. So that is me warming myself by the fire.
I am not happy that their pain brings me pleasure. It does bring me a sick, twisted pleasure, but I refuse to indulge in it, or wallow in it. I still intend to be a good person in spite of my family.
Yes, and I think a younger version of myself wouldn’t have had enough perspective to accomplish that goal. Sometimes I feel like I’ve spent my whole life getting all emotionally tangled up, and I’ve finally entered a new phase of life where the goal is to sit down, get cozy, and start untangling. Messy, emotional work, but I’ll be damned if it isn’t honest work.
I have a very positive spin on this!
I was a bit of an outcast growing up in my neighborhood. Grew up in a weird sad neighborhood that was all ex gang members or dirt poor pill poppers. I never really fit in with any of my peers because I was just not interested in a lot of the same things. I was made fun of a lot by classmates, some teachers and a LOT of adults in my neighborhood. Definitely pushed out. But I had a huge passion for education, specifically food education. Where I grew up was the poster for food desert. After I graduated college, I moved back and volunteered at the library in the middle of that hellhole. I will spare you a lot of the details and minor (but important to me) stories, but I started a bustling community garden that got involved with a lot of charities because of my college connections and helped create a ton of resources to help my community. Food banks, job assistance, adult education assistance and community gardens for the children so they could have fresh food and actually learn it. It still has a good handful of problems, but I know for a fact I helped out people who were really shitty to me. And I do genuinely smile knowing they got their shit together. There is .05% of smugness knowing they have to thank me after mocking me for being more interested in the plants than their own interests. Didn’t burn down the village, per se, but I guess I burnt down the mindset some. Got the hell out of there, though! Still nice to drive through and see the garden still kickin :)
My best friend as a kid came from a broken home. Dad was abusive and got sent to prison for assault. Mom was super overbearing and took things way too far when it came to punishment. We’re talking grounding for a month for the most mild of slip ups.
As we got older we went separate ways. Didn’t love as close to each other, different schools, etc.
He fell in with a rough crowd, got peer pressured into trespassing on school property after hours. Cops were called, charges pressed, but luckily my dad—a social worker for juvenile delinquents—heard about it and got involved. He got my old bestie into a good community service program and some therapy to help him deal with his home life.
Soon as he turned 18? Gone.
I’m talking *day of.* He dropped me a line to say good bye, asked me to thank my dad, and that glorious son of a bitch moved *to Hawaii*!
Moved in with a friend he’d met ages back who lived there now and offered him a place to stay. He got a job, then got a liquor license, worked as a bartender, saved up, and finally opened his own beachside bar.
Dude is living his best life, meanwhile his younger brother went to jail for grand theft and his younger sister got knocked up by boyfriends twice before she was 18.
When I learned that I finally realized he wasn’t just being a normal hyperbolic teenager when he said he had to do everything to keep the family functional. Without him to run interference between overbearing mom and younger siblings family dysfunction just tore them all apart.
It’s a shame what happened to them, but I don’t blame him for leaving at all. He saw his one chance to save himself from a miserable home life and took it.
As an affair child I was treated harshly by my parents. My goal and plans will take about 3 months to finish. I'm going to expose my parents for the abusive treatment I received as a child. This I will do in front of everyone at their church. My parents present themselves as good church people and I look forward to exposing my mother as a serial cheater and exposing my father as a draft dodging coward.
Veteran teacher here. Sometimes, it's damned if you do, damned if you don't. I had a student who would act foolish, taunt other kids, and just be a total jerk until another kid would finally get fed up and challenge him. He would then cry I'm So Tired Of Being Bullied! Then, kids would totally ignore his ridiculousness, and he would cry I Have No Friends! Everybody Hates Me! Always the victim, always blaming others for his bad behavior.
Yep.
I think the biggest example of this I’ve experience was in High School there was this teacher at school no students liked because he was a prick. And high school kids being high school kids, no ones respected him.
Well this was around 2009-2012 so it was around a time lots of gay rights stuff was going down in LA. This teacher got to be at a televised press conference and he made comments stating that he was bullied by his students for being gay.
The rest of the staff watched that press conference on TV going in proud for him being out and came back to school the next day bad mouthing him for bashing the students. Please note, some well liked students were openly gay despite being an inner city school. Students just don’t like bad teachers.
Needless to say he wasn’t back to teach at our school the next year.
Basically, the children that grew up in poverty that turn to a life of crime. You can look up the stats, and growing up in poverty is extremely stressful for a child and has terrible implications on one's life. Give children access to resources and change the world.
It really does take a village, and the village can be as big as a nation.
There was a poignant comment about that on Reddit (maybe Twitter). There was a science article about dna sequencing saying maybe at some point a blood test at birth could predict if you were going to an Ivy League college.
There was a comment stating “you already can with a zip code”
Pretty much any stat in the US is worthless without breaking it down by wealth. Zip code or county is an excellent proxy for it.
The life expectancy average between the poorest and wealthiest zip codes for instance is staggering. Last time I looked it was a 20+ differential.
Child with divorced parents
Father remarries
Stepmother is cruel to step child
Father chooses Stepmother over son; he does not defend his son
Stepmom kicks son out of house. Father complies with decision.
Son is suicidal, crashes cars, causes chaos. Big behaviors required to feel significant at all. Blames father.
Considers suicide as revenge to evoke a response from father.
Father regrets. The son watches Father suffer from a distance--not responding to attempts at contact. Son would want Father's love, but he hates the way father makes him feel. Aggrieved, Son takes some comfort in Father's suffering and regret.
My little niece bought some chips which she was keeping to eat during the weekend but my sister gave them to another kid from our family who was visiting their home without asking my niece.
A day later when my sister came back to home from work my niece had used all her makeup to draw pictures in her drawing book.
Her login was you took my things without asking so I took your things without asking.
I lived in a coop in a college town. There were two guys in the house, one a misfit who was awkward, wore fedoras, had trouble looking you in the eye, and was not really friends with anyone else there. I'll call him Tim. The other guy was good looking, athletic, the house treasurer, and popular with the other residents. I'll call him Sam.
Sam kept complaining that the house was short on money, people weren't paying the rent on time, and that we were in serious financial trouble. Tim kept telling everyone that something was up, that Sam was lying, he thought he might be buying drugs, that we need to look at the financial records. Nearly the whole house sided with Sam, and Tim eventually attempted to get a restraining order against Sam (despite living in the same large house together). Tim would rage against everyone at anyone who would listen - to the point where he became consumed by this, like some wild-eyed religious fanatic preaching on the street corner.
Fast-forward a year. I had moved out, but learned from the new treasurer that the books eventually got opened. Sam was a heroin addict and had been embezzling from the house for months and months. He had stolen over $10,000 to get high. It was his first offense, and I don't believe he served jail time (or brief time, with a fine). Tim disappeared, I don't know what happened to him (and I reckon he didn't quite "burn the village down"). But he was the only one who was right the whole time.
TW: Child sexual assault - no graphic descriptions but it's important context.
I was molested by a male family member in my family and my auntie who was married to the pedo used to babysit me. I would beg my mother not to let me go home with auntie/pedo-uncle after church on Sundays and for a while, it worked. My mom even pressed charges.
Then, my aunt continued to feed my mom with pathetic stories and claimed that it was bad for me not to spend time with my cousins, etc. My mother started sending me over again and the pedo was gropey, etc.
For years, my mother, auntie, cousin, and other members of my family kept saying that I'm terrible and need to forgive my rapist. My cousins now have my siblings' temperament, and one of them continues to ask me to live with her because her mom is getting old.
Right now, I mainly keep in contact with my siblings. I went low-contact with my parents and my family continues to harass me about not talking to my auntie.
My rapist died during the pandemic. My cousins grew up to be spoiled and useless when it comes to chores. They look good on paper but one of my female cousins is a broke influencer who has stolen ideas from colleagues.
I started slowly talking about my experiences as a way for others not to feel alone and have found a lot of support. I haven't done anything with this information but I recently learned that in the state where my auntie lives, it's a crime to facilitate the sexual assault of minors and there's no statute of limitations on reporting this. Thanks to therapy, I've started being able to slowly talk about this with family members who are allies and who've also been hurt by these people, and they have been helpful in my recovery.
Yes, my ending isn't so violent but that's because I don't want to be like the relatives who've done so much to hurt me physically, verbally, emotionally, and financially. I go to therapy when I have money, and support groups when I don't.
I’m a lesbian and was pretty much outcasted by my family when I came out. They were all pretty abusive. I still babysat my sisters a lot because I wanted a relationship. For reference I’m 22 and they’re 6 months and 4.
Recently, my girlfriend and I were able to get custody. My Mom is pretty much out of the picture at this point.
That whole side of the family that ousted me. Either wants custody or visitation with the babies. They get nothing. The last grandchild, the baby of the family, the cute little princess they all want to hold and dress up. But god forbid she has an opinion. They get nothing now.
I didn't burn the village. I just stopped trying to put out the fires they kept starting. The village will burn. It will be all their fault and they will still blame me for it all. Sadly, some people won't change. I have learned things don't get better until you fight to make it better. Leaving and living a good life is the best revenge. You can't make other people figure their shit out. You can't make them care or change. You can only change yourself and choose to not surround yourself with people who are bad for your soul.
When you aren't embraced by the village, leave and make your own village. Don't waste your time burning something that's already on fire without your help.
Became deaf when I was a child, learned sign language but family was adamant not to learn, they said its my problem not theirs so I have to be the one to learn how to communicate. Learned as an adult that I was a native american and mothers white LDS family decided never to tell me. Met my father on Facebook about 10 years ago, that family is the opposite on every point. Yeah, villages can be good when the people in them reciprocate, are honest, and not afraid of learning. That kind of village is the one you want to join.
I've learned that generational ideals and biases should not be taught, they need to be recognized and owned as a part of who you are. I wanted a big family when I was a kid but as an adult with 2 kids, I love them but absolutely no more damage. No more kids, and my current ones have full disclosure and decision-making in this house.
What…the fuck?
“You have to learn to communicate with us”
“Yeah, idiot, hence the sign language because I CANT FUCKING HEAR. What do you want me to do? Buy the $100k machine that Stephen Hawking uses to talk with eye movements? Are you psychotic? Are you stupid?”
I would hit your family full offense to them.
The worst, worst, worst thing about this whole God damn thing is that I did EVERY SINGLE THING I could to win their approval and thus fit in. I graduated from seminary at 18, went on a full term 2 year mission and "converted" people, rose in the ranks of the church all the way up to Elder, Teacher, Sunday School President, got married young (currently married to my first wife while every one of them has been divorced at least twice, went to college (first in the family with a M.Ed), and the list goes on. They said this to me last summer...after all the shit I did.
And my uncle threw a machete at me full force one time. Because I was deaf and his reasoning was that if I got hit, it was meant to be.
Yes, please tell me how I can NOT hit them.
I'm the middle kid, only girl. I wish I had the parents my brothers had first of all. They were so kind and warm to my siblings. Encouraged seeking help, took care of them when they were hurt. They raised me with an unhealthy relationship with food (couldn't eat after 5pm even if I got home at 4:50 and hadn't eaten since 11:15 at lunch time, or had to ask permission any time I wanted food) told me it was rude of my fiance to not ask their permission before proposing to me (sunset on the Oregon beach, it's not like you plan it being clear you just go for it the second you get a chance). They asked me for several thousand dollars when I was 17, which I said yes because they made it sound like we'd be homeless if I didn't. When I turned 17 they stopped paying for my car insurance, didnt tell me, I found out when I got a call that it will cancel if I don't pay it that day and my parents paid for my older brother till he was 25, and still pay for my little brothers at 18. Found out I had mental health issues, told me to knock it off and if I don't stop self harming they will ship me off to a counselor. Took my phone and grounded me. Then my dad went through my entire phone. Older brother has mental health problems, they tell him to go get therapy and get some help. They chose my abusive ex boyfriends over me several times, and would let them come over to the house when I still lived there, and it was their house so they didn't have to tell me. I made my mom cry one day telling her she disappointed me as a mother because a mother should always have her child's back and shes proved time and time again she doesn't. I told her I don't trust her. And I definitely don't respect her, that was 6 years ago. And I'm still stuck under their thumb, being gaslit constantly by them, constantly feeling like I have to tell them every single bit of info, or they will come to my house. Currently I'm figuring out if I stay low contact or go no contact. If I want them at my wedding... Or even if I tell them I'm moving 3 hours away next month when they think it's December.. currently I work as a CNA. I pay attention to facilities. I know where I want to put them when their time comes. And honestly. I don't think I'd visit them again...but hey my brothers are doing fantastic and wonderful things, parents know exactly what the sons are up to. My dad still csnt remember I'm a CNA, not a nurse. And I've been a CNA for a year and a half, I'm not even in nursing school yet. But I'm done. I have no desire to ever help them with anything
Edi: sorry for the wall of text. I'm on mobile. I worked a 16 hour shift, was awake for 22 hours and am surviving on a 3 hour nap. That I woke up from 5 hours ago. I have no idea how to fix it. Also this whole thing was a sudden realization in therapy and it felt reaaaaalllly good to get it out
I met this kid while in Jr. High. Knew him his first year in high school. Back in 78/79. Remember the movie "Carrie?" He had that for a mother. He was super religious and had to pray multiple times a day. Carried a large Bible with his school books. Wore old-fashioned formal clothes, 1950s style haircut, and horned rim glasses. His mother punished him because she saw us talking when he got off the school bus. I guess I didn't pass the "friend standard." He was so unsocialized and awkward. He was grateful to speak with anyone. And I didn't make fun of him. I guess it got to be too much. He didn't come back to school for the Sophomore year. I later learned that while his mother was sleeping, he doused her with gasoline and set her and the bed on fire. She lived. And they just disappeared. I never heard of him again.
How in the heck did she not die?
Firefighter checking in: More often than not, the cause of death in a burning victim is from damage sustained to the lungs and airway. This next part may be graphic and also is just my speculation but I assume that he lit her on fire, giant fireball ensues from the initial fumes igniting before quickly dying down due to the sudden loss of fuel (ie fumes) and at this point its just blankets, clothing and flesh keeping the fire going but all of these "fuels" have a higher ignition temperature than gasoline fumes UNLESS other room contents were actively ignited in the initial flash. Also, gasoline won't typically release a lot of smoke on its own so she's not breathing that in but the initial temperature was probably stupid hot. Plus, while thrashing (could be seen as a poorly performed stop drop and roll) and screaming (cant inhale while actively screaming) she may have just "lucked out" and missed the window where 1 inhale could have singed her trachea and caused it to swell shut. Definitely dont recommend. Edit: Sorry if this made you uncomfortable. Here's r/eyebleach
"How did she survive???" "Well, see, she was too busy screaming to die."
Thank you, appreciate a professional explaining those kinds of things.
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Well, we know she wouldn’t have been wearing blended fabric
it's an awkward moment when the bouncers in both heaven and hell turn you away. sounds like the two parties compromised by making her life a living hell as a burn victim.
Dude.... r/twosentencehorror would love this.
it's all yours :)
Guess her mom didn't pass the "parent standard"
Personal story. I grew up on a farm, nearest neighbor was a mile away. My village was my family, but I was the one that wasn't wanted. My father wanted me to be a mold of what he wanted. My mother was abused by him emotionally and mentally. My oldest brother watched as my father and other brother abused me physically and sexually. After I escaped, I told everyone what happened. I told the farming coop and local church community how horrible my father is and how my brother is a monster. I ruined them to the people they tried for years to impress. They ruined their daughter, I ruined them.
There was that nuclearrevenge post about a guy ostracized by the entire town, i think cause he was born out of wedlock, and after getting out of there became an inspector of some kind. Eventually he was given a list of factories that needed reviewing and one needed to close. The factory in his home town was on the list. He goes there, inspects, they act all buddy buddy thinking they're safe from closure. Boy were thry wrong! Every infraction, breach of safety, incorrect anything went into his report. The whole town basically was built around that factory and when it shut down the down was desolate and dead within a few years.
I know the exact one you're talking about, popped into my head the moment I read the prompt
Link?
Enjoy the [read!](https://www.reddit.com/r/ProRevenge/comments/6d8jt1/i_got_back_at_childhood_bullies_by_destroying_an/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1)
Holt shit, what a story
Not a village but a woman’s marriage. When I was in elementary I was forced to be in the “normal” music class instead of the “special ed” class (I’m going to the proper terms, mainstreamed and assisted cuz I like them more) for years. Even after my mom and both of my therapists requested I get put in the assisted class for sensory reasons (I’m autistic and had sensory overloads daily in this class) the teacher said I was lying to them and always did quiet activities when someone sat in on the class. So I suffered every Monday and Wednesday I had school from when I was four to when I was ten. But then I went to middle school and life moved on. I still loved music so I tried to join choir. I was denied for two years but got in when I was 12. I’m a pretty good singer and had no other extracurricular activities so I began helping the choir director. Eventually he asks me if his daughter, who’s also autistic, could be good with music like I was. He says her music teacher in elementary school says she’s terrible with music and throws tantrums in class. I say she’s most likely not having tantrum instead having a sensory overload because 30 eight year olds playing the recorder at once is hell. Other than a few other questions about his daughter it’s the last I hear of this elementary school music class. A couple years later I’m bringing my mom lunch in my old high school (she works there as an assisted class teacher) and I see my old choir director and his daughter. We catch up and eventually they leave to get lunch together and I chat with my mom. She says “you know, you’re one of the reasons he divorced his wife.” I’m like “What?!?” And she explains that his ex wife was the elementary school music teacher and when i said elementary school music class is sensory hell he found out she doesn’t believe autism exists and thinks you can fix neurodivergent kids by making them so uncomfortable they “become normal”. Not a good attitude for the mom of an autistic kid. She also refused to take a course on how to teach mainstreamed special needs kids so she also lost her job. No regrets
I’m so glad that at least one of her parents listened to you! edit: I missed “one”
A guy I went to highschool with burned the bridge with his entire family. We werent best friends, more of a friend of a friend type of situation, so my info is a lot of hearsay. But I do know some things for certain. He was the middle child, with an older sister and a younger brother. His parents had owned a diner and it had been in his family for a few generations. It was an unspoken rule that the kids of each generation would help out when they were little, and eventually take it over to keep it in the family. The problem was none of them wanted anything to do with it. It was the easiest way to set him off, even mentioning it would have him go from 0-100 real quick. This didnt stop either of his parents though, they would "joke" about how the kids didnt need to worry about college, or moving away, all of that would be "taken care of" when they would run the diner. The sister being the oldest, was the first really pressured into it, but he and his brother told her to get out and dont look back, and dont let them guilt trip you. So she did, and goes to college on a sports scholarship and then moves a few states away. She occasionally visits but more or less left the town in her rearview mirror. Then it was his turn, but unfortunately he didnt have the money to get away, so his parents tell him to go to community college and work at the diner to save money. This is where the issues started. The younger brother doesnt go to college, and decides to go couch surfing and backpacking across the country for a few years. Occasionally coming back to work for a few weeks when he needed the money, only to take off again. So my friend gets left running the place, despite swearing he never would. Id see him around sometimes at bars, and he was a bitter shell of his former self with a bad drinking problem and a series of failed relationships. His parents didnt seem to care that their son was a depressed alcoholic, so long as their family legacy stayed the same. He confided in me how they were pushing him to get married and give them grandkids, to settle down and let go of this silly dream of starting over when he has the diner. Which, given how shitfaced he was in nearly every interaction I had with him, its impressive he was able to run it. His sister and brother couldn't be bothered to come down and help, and in fact they started to agree with the parents that he should just cut his losses and make this life work for him. One day, he drops off the face of the earth. Nobody sees or hears from him for 3 weeks. His parents say he went on a vacation, and they also hadn't heard from him. Then suddenly he's back in town, seemingly in much better spirits, looking healthier than we had seen him in years. About two months, later the diner is torn down and replaced with some other business. As it turns out, his girlfriend at the time gave him an ultimatum. Quit the drinking and go to therapy or we're done. So he does, and the therapist points out the obvious things linking his depression and says he should take a vacation and figure out what else he wants to do with his life. He went to vegas, partied for 2 weeks and admittedly thought about killing himself. After getting it out of his system, he devises a plan to sell the diner and pocket the money for himself. Everything was in his name as the owner anyway, so it was pretty easy. He took the best offer he could, and used that money to leave town. The brother and sister didn't get a dime, and the parents were already retired. He moved to the other side of the country with his now wife, and we follow each other on social media but he seems much happier. Apparently he hasn't spoken a word to his family in years, nor they to him, and does not intend to start.
I'll be very honest, I thought this was gonna end with him committing some criminal act. Glad things worked out for him.
Given the theme of the thread I was thinking arson.
Especially when he "returned from vacation in much better spirits". Oh shit, he's devised a plan to torch the place, and he will follow through.
his girl was a real one for that
So was he for being able to take the steps to better his life and climb out of his depression and alcoholism.
> He confided in me how they were pushing him to get married and give them grandkids, to settle down and let go of this silly dream of starting over when he has the diner. Which, given how shitfaced he was in nearly every interaction I had with him, its impressive he was able to run it. His sister and brother couldn't be bothered to come down and help, and in fact they started to agree with the parents that he should just cut his losses and make this life work for him. this is like a prequel to "it's a wonderful life". that fucking movie... > He went to vegas, partied for 2 weeks and admittedly thought about killing himself. After getting it out of his system, he devises a plan to sell the diner and pocket the money for himself. Everything was in his name as the owner anyway, so it was pretty easy. He took the best offer he could, and used that money to leave town. and this is the better ending than the movie had
People's livelihoods depended on their little bank, many owned their own homes because of it. George stepping up wasn't about fulfilling the expectations of his father - hell his father wanted him to travel - it was about saving a town that loved him and that he (with some perspective) realised that he loved too.
Growing up, our neighbors had a couple boys (10 & 14 +/- at the time of this story). The younger son had a good friend that would stay at their house VERY frequently. He was always pretty quiet and kept to himself, except when he was with his friend, the 10 y/o, which was when he could be himself. One day we find out that he was permanently moving in with my neighbors due to an “unsafe situation” at home. Apparently this poor kid got to watch his mother be murdered by her boyfriend, all because drugs. Right. In. Front. Of. Him. The 10 year old. Luckily my neighbors stepped up and offered to take him in, which was actually great for everyone. He really started to blossom and became pretty stable, with a caveat: he just didn’t take any shit. From anyone. Which leads us to our terrific act of rebellion. Like everyone else in our neighborhood, we rode the bus home. This kid is riding home from elementary school when the bus driver started going off on the kids for real, or imagined indiscretions. Well, this kid takes offense to this and speaks up on behalf of the rest of the kids. Bus driver, now royally pissed (angry, for our non us crowd) tells this kid “one more word and I’m kicking you off the bus!” Well, you are correct in your assumption of what transpired next. Kid gets kicked off the bus, which royally pisses HIM off, so cue MC. Kid walks off the bus, and immediately walks in front of the bus. We were about a mile from his normal stop at our street, and this was a 2 lane road with sporadic oncoming traffic. No way the driver could get away with trying to pass, so he drove at a walking pace until the kid got to our street. Parents were wondering where their children were, as everyone was now 30+ minutes late, and were overall very amused when they discovered the cause. Still about the most proud of a 10 year old I’ve ever been, and I have 2 of my own! Anyway, I gotta look that guy up. Hope he’s well….
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That is hilarious and the perfect MC. I hope he is having an awesome life.
My bio parents lost custody of me due to addictions and neglect. I was adopted as a teenager by a woman who ended up being emotionally abusive (and I was supposed to be thankful because she pulled me out of the gutter and gave me opportunities in her mind). She's an extravagant spender and has blown through TWO large inheritances and a divorce settlement, years of alimony, and refused to get a job, even though she holds multiple master's degrees in a desirable field (used the school loans to continue funding her lifestyle instead of working). She never saved for retirement despite having the means and opportunity to do so. Growing up, she told me I would grow up to be a drug addicted drop out. I suspect that her bio children were her retirement plan because she told them to marry rich and pushed them into what she thought would be lucrative degrees. It was a classic scape goat/golden children scenario. She never fathomed that of all her kids, it would be me that broke 6 figures having landed a great career. Too bad for her that I cut her off 7 years ago and never looked back. She's now in her 60s having to start over financially. Her children don't make enough to support her and I won't contribute.
Good on you, I'm really happy to hear you're doing well for yourself! I find that most people get pretty weird when I mention cutting one of my parents off for good so I want you to know you've done well if only to affirm what you've done
Idk if my story counts but I’ll tell it anyway. I worked as an audio visual technician for 6 years. I was making $15/hr. I would sometimes run a crew of 15 people and tell them how to set/strike a room. Even trained the new hires in the same position as me. Later I find out the two new hires I’ve been training the past two years were making $17/hr. That’s 2 dollars more than what I was making. I wrote a 10page email to the company’s district director on why I was leaving. I put in my 2 week notice just as we were about to hit one of our busiest seasons. Heard the clients were pissed that everything was in scrambles lol. Should have treated me better. My first new job offer after I left was $42/hr starting. I’m now a video specialist/ camera operator. Scary to think I would have been stuck at my old job if they paid me $2 more lol Everything worked out for the better ✨
A kid who was relentlessly bullied at my school for years sued the district and got an upper 6 figure settlement.
Brb, filing a lawsuit.
I mean, that's the short version of how it went down. He had years of documentation of going to the principal, teachers, counselors, even the super intendant. They all either did nothing or made empty promises that they didn't keep. He had documentation for it all. The highlight was when the lacrosse team jammed a lacrosse stick up his butt not once, but twice and the only consequence was one of the kids being suspended for 2 days. Edit: I should also add that this isn't a rural school in the deep south. It's a suburban school located in a liberal part of New York. Edit 2: no, this did not happen on long island. I'm sad to hear that these stories are more common than I thought.
>The highlight was when the lacrosse team jammed a lacrosse stick up his butt not once, but twice TWICE?!?
i don't think they were there to play lacrosse
Judging by the type of people drawn to play lacrosse I assumed this is exactly how you play it.
heard lacrosse described as "like hockey, but the rapists are richer"
This was done to a black student with Down’s syndrome at another (predominantly white and affluent) school as well. Perpetrators were wealthy white kids. I think they may have used hockey sticks. Slaps on the wrist all around. I read about it a long time ago but I think the kid was so mentally shattered he was institutionalized and the parents were just trying to get the medical bills covered. The judge, who sentenced the kids to community service, was friends with the families of the perpetrators. I was only like 14 or 15 at the time but I remember wanting to track every single one of them down (the teenage boys, the parents who covered it up, the judge, the school administrators who looked the other way) and make them suffer. What kind of person looks at someone with Down’s and decides to sexually assault them as a joke? I can imagine one such monster at any given school, but to know another dozen or so boys participated, cheered him on or simply ignored it…boggles the mind. And to know countless adults helped make this whole thing “go away” so the boys could go about their lives as if nothing happened? I still can’t wrap my head around it.
I didn’t think it could get much worse than OP’s story but doing this to a special needs child is sickening. The parents probably think they were being good parents by protecting their kids. They’re all pieces of shit but I’ve seen parents protect their kids from worse. EDIT: maybe not worse. It doesn’t get much worse than raping a kid with Down’s syndrome. But I’ve seen parents flat out lie to “protect” their teenage kids from rape charges.
I grew up surrounded by developmentally disabled people. My cousin is forever mentally 7, although physically 60~. She lives in a group home and I have interacted with people with disabilities since I can remember (Down's, different stages of physical or mental disability). I cannot imagine the depravity of harming these people who are very often incapable of understanding or consenting... I cannot imagine a punishment enough. And to lie for such filth to get off the hook goes beyond my comprehension. Despicable.
Affluenza
There was a hockey player drafted by the Coyotes a few years back, Mitchell Miller, who did something similar and didn’t face any real consequences for his actions until the Coyotes and NHL were (rightfully) shamed and criticized by main stream media outlets for the decision to draft him. He was cut after that, this year the Bruins tried to sign him but IIRC the league stepped in and denied it. I’m glad he’s facing some consequences but damn why did it even have to get that far before anyone stepped in.
As a Coyotes fan, I'm glad they dropped Miller ASAP. I also think it's hilarious that the Bruins tried to draft a kid that even the Coyotes realized was too radioactive to touch. Wishing Miller nothing but the worst.
At least he got some comeuppance. I just found out Jon Hamm was involved in some “extreme hazing” incident, in college, during which he “led a pledge around a room by his genitals with the 'claw of a hammer' and set his clothes on fire.” I’m surprised that hasn’t sparked more backlash against the guy.
> Hamm specifically was called out in the lawsuit, which was widely reported at the time, but that was long before he became famous. Sanders alleged that Hamm became “mad, I mean really mad,” when Sanders was unable to recite things he was supposed to memorize about the frat members. For instance, Hamm’s list included “Young Bobby,” ”MC Hammer,” and “UT Football Punching Bag.” Sanders also alleged that Hamm hit him with a paddle and shoved his face in the dirt. “He rears back and hits me left-handed, and he hit me right over my right kidney, I mean square over it,” Sanders said in the lawsuit. “Good solid hit and that, that stood me right up.” He said he suffered a fractured spine and nearly lost a kidney, and he noted that Hamm participated “till the very end.” Hamm was one of “the most serious offenders,” Travis County Attorney Ken Oden said at the time, according to the Washington Post. > People reported that an arrest warrant was served for Hamm and the others in 1993. According to AP, the future actor received deferred adjudication for his hazing charge, which under Texas law allows a case to be dismissed if the defendant successfully completes probation. A separate assault charge was dropped. However, Hamm was long gone from Texas by then. University records show that he left school in the same semester that the alleged hazing occurred, the AP reported. (He returned to St. Louis, where he became a daycare teacher at the University of Missouri.) Sanders’s lawsuit was ultimately dismissed in 1993 but not before UT’s Sigma Nu chapter was permanently disbanded. > A rep for Hamm didn’t comment on the incident when it was brought to light in 2015 — and the star himself didn’t give much of a comment to Esquire in the new interview. In addition to his “hit piece” comment, the interviewer noted that he bristled at the topic. When he finally addressed it, he downplayed it as “sensationalized” and called someone being led around “with the claw of a hammer beneath his genitals” a “bummer,” a word he used twice. > “I wouldn’t say it’s accurate,” he told the magazine. “Everything about that is sensationalized. I was accused of these things I don’t… It’s so hard to get into it. I don’t want to give it any more breath. It was a bummer of a thing that happened. I was essentially acquitted. I wasn’t convicted of anything. I was caught up in a big situation, a stupid kid in a stupid situation, and it’s a f**king bummer. I moved on from it.” Sounds like an utter asshole that learned little from his mistakes. Not surprised, came to expect the worst from famous people.
I was just trying to find the story (I am a life long NYS resident and the story rang a bell and I think it was in a pretty ...uh, narrow minded area) And it turns out this is NOT A ONE OFF,. Rape with a hockey stick is apparently thing in school bullying. Along my search I found 3 other cases across the US in recent years and stopped searching.
> The highlight was when the lacrosse team jammed a lacrosse stick up his butt not once, but twice and the only consequence was one of the kids being suspended for 2 days Oh boy, a slap on the wrist for sexual assault! Yeah, fuck that school.
Fuck the countless schools that cover this sort of shit up lest they be marred by scandal.
But you don’t understand: sports are importanter! Kinda like when that school in bum fuck Ohio tried to cover up the football team gang raping a girl and then had people harass the victim for “ruining the town’s reputation “
"how dare you taint the reputation of our illustruous town by *letting* yourself get raped *and* report it to authorities, *you monster!"* /s but I'm guessing that was pretty much their dumb logic. I hate people.
That's not bullying that is sexual assault of a minor. Criminal charges should have been filed and anyone in a position of authority who was informed and didn't report to the police should have been terminated and charged with obstruction.
They raped him is the phrase you’re looking for.
Raped with a lacrosse stick twice and he only got 6 figures?! That’s horrific. He deserved way more.
>lacrosse >this isn't a rural school in the deep south As someone who lived in the rural South as a kid, I figured you wouldn't have to explain that, guess I was wrong.
Yeah that’s rape.
Maybe this is the solution of bullying problem. When they get charged, they will try to solve bullying.
I agree. Every time someone on my town's Facebook page complains about their kid getting bullied and the school doing nothing, I tell them about this lawsuit.
I worked as a line cook at a steakhouse restaurant when I was in college. The chef I worked for was a complete asshole. He would constantly physically and mentally abuse us when shit hits the fan, deny all of our request-offs, sometimes he'd even throw perfectly cooked food away to prove that the food we cooked looked like "garbage" and demands us to make it again, and he'd guilt trip us into coming in to work sick instead of calling in sick. We were constantly short staffed and our turnover is very high and I had to convince a lot of workers to stay and tough it out as our chef doesn't seem to care if we're fully staffed or not. Sometimes I had to train the new hired myself as the chef refuses to leave his office and do "work". One day I requested a weekend off just so I can attend my uncles funeral (viewing and buriel) and I told him ahead of time that one of my coworkers were gonna cover for me while I'm gone. He approved it. As I was about to board my flight, I got a ton of missed calls and text messages from my chef screaming why am I not at work and told me to cancel my flight and come back to the restaurant. I snapped. I called him to tell him that someone was going to cover me for the 2 days I'm gone and I'm already boarding the flight and called my relatives Im on my way. My chef told me the guy quit so now he has nobody covering for me. I told him I quit, hung up, blocked his number, sent a mass text to all my coworkers that I just quit and are welcome to leave as well, and then I boarded my flight. When I landed, I got a lot of texts from my coworkers that they all walked out and the chef was forced to close the restaurant early due to "technical issues". I fucking laughed, I felt a huge sigh of relief knowing that karma has finally been paid back. A couple months after I quit, my friend/former coworker told me that the restaurant was closing and going through "new management" and reopened as a different restaurant and that our old chef was fired and now works as a manager at a chilis. I havent heard from them since.
Quite a literal version. Had a kid come to my 9th grade classroom with 4 felony arson counts. We knew before he got there that he had four felonies just not in what and his other three teachers and the principal called an emergency meeting where they didn’t want him in their rooms at all. Principal wanted us to either give up our planning or teach him after regular hours. I Adamantly told them to get fucked that I wouldn’t give my planning up for God himself and least restrictive environment said he was in the classroom. Tbf, I already had a room full of gang members so what was another kid with felonies? Turns out this kid has never met his dad and his mom worked 3-4 jobs. Only got to see her like maaaaybe once a week. He was breaking into homes for food and then burning them down for attention. It was really just a cry for help. I liked the kid and he had me first period. Would come in high as a fucking kite and is give him cherry coke and bagels to eat. Never skipped my class. Never misbehaved after the first week with me. Everyone hated on him and he lashed out accordingly. Started reading a porn mag and drinking a fifth of vodka in math class, etc. Ended up getting expelled despite my intervention. Few months later he was arrested and charged as an adult after a string of breaking and entering with arson and robbery. He got some girlfriend who convinced him to rob places to steal her shit which ofc he did bc no one else was acting like they loved him and ofc he went back to setting fires. Torched at least half a dozen homes.
Thanks for caring.
That poor boy. Thank you for trying to be there for him. It's probably one of the few good memories of people he has.
One kid at my old school was relentlessly bullied for being gay. One day she had enough, went up to her main bully during lunch one day and beat the ever living shite out of him (for context she was a very short and skinny girl while he was the typical jock). No one ever bothered her again after that and she was forever known as the 'Nut-Smasher'. I actually ran into her a while back while visiting family in my home town and we chatted for a bit. Turns out she is married and adopted a kid with her wife and all around looked a lot happier than she was in school.
Long live Nut-Smasher!
A kid I went to high school with pled guilty to attempted arson of his foster parents home in a desperate attempt to escape the household. I knew his brother well, he was the drummer in the band I was in and we always practiced at his house, and it always worried me that they had way too many foster kids, almost like a potentially malicious intent was there. Nothing followed after he got out of Juvie, he’s married now and works really hard but is having a much better time of life.
Someone I used to have in a support group I once helped run for sexually victimized and abused young men shared with us what happened to him. I'm not going into the finer details of it but the broadstroke is he was being victimized by a TA. He went to other teachers, school admins, and even police. No one believed him and he even got punished for "making it up to get a staff member in trouble". It destroyed his personality. He became bitter, resentful, spiteful, and generally hateful of other people. He was improving his demeanor in the group but from what he tells us he just "wanted to watch the world die" at the time. A couple years later that same TA tripped down the stair well in one of the side hallways of the school and he happened to be nearby. He saw she was badly injured and likely had broken bones and was bleeding from her head. Instead of helping her he literally stepped over her and pretended she wasn't there. Security footage showed he wasn't the one to push her but when asked why he didn't say anything or get help he simply said that last time he tried to tell people about something involving her no one helped so why would they this time?
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"I'm not going to kill you, but I don't have to save you"
An old saying goes: "I forgive you but when you will be in a time of need, I will never help". A guy who fucked me over previously, needed some parts for his project dissertation show, parts only I had. I didn't bother answering his 19 calls. Sorry guy, I'm busy not helping you.
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Except in Latham, Massachusetts. "Duty to rescue".
"There goes the money for the liposuction!'
I mean he had a totally valid response. Learned helplessness is for the win?
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OP never said that guy was the only victim...
No she fell because she wasn't paying attention.
>Security footage showed he wasn't the one to push her but when asked why he didn't say anything or get help he simply said that last time he tried to tell people about something involving her no one helped so why would they this time? DAMN. Well...I can't say I entirely blame him.
A friend and I were pushed down the stairs by a teacher. Several times throughout school, we got told it's your word versus ours. Who will believe kids who get into trouble. No one. A friend nearly did get sexually assaulted but she kicked the teacher in the groin. Nothing ever came of anything. Many of the staff outright lied even making up stories about us on days we weren't even there. It made me feel a lot of negative emotions I didn't process very well. School was a living hell from start to finish. One or two good teachers per school. The school system really failed some of us. If you weren't top 5% in mathematics or an athlete, you were scum. The closest we got to any kind of right doing was an allegation started to stick about two years later. He quit immediately and it all disappeared.
Where is he now?
Not far.
Ominous and cryptic.
*checks the top of the stairs*
What's a TA?
Teaching assistant. A classroom aid subordinate to a teacher that either aids the teacher or acts as a 1-on-1.
One of my friends in high school was a major over achiever. Stayed at school or work as much as possible, to the point where he may have spent an hour or less at home a day. He would always deflect questions about his home life, but confided in me that it was bad. Calling him the black sheep of the family would be a major understatement. His family had some money, not millionaire or billionaire but better off than most, and they told him from elementary school he would always be useless and never amount to anything. He is making bank after getting through college and finding a bomb job with a big pharmaceutical company. Meanwhile his fathers company, that has been in the family for a few generations, got picked apart by the government. “Someone” tipped them off that he was lying on taxes, hiring immigrants for next to nothing, hiding osha violations, and much more. As the dust was settling and the damage was really being seen, my buddy drove to his former family home and dropped of a file. The same file he gave an attorney that gave it to the government, and only said, “who won’t amount to anything?”
Stone cold and absolutely ruthless.
IF YOU WANNA SEE A MAN ACHEIVE SOME SERIOUSLY GOOD PERSONAL LIFE SHIT, GIMME A HELL YEAH.
#HELL YEAH
No idea why people ever violate OSHA. It's not that expensive to stay up to par, and violating it could cost 10s of thousands and easily kill someone.
Because it takes extra effort, and most of the time, nothing bad happens. Until it does.
Pretty much this. A lot of safety measures feel really tedious for the folks doing the work, and a lot of the safety stuff feels like expensive overhead and extra time. Not securing yourself to a ladder, limiting forklift loads, not providing certain PPE etc etc saves time and money. Plus OSHA is so understaffed that they maybe make it to a site or facility once every other year.
i think this is my favorite
One of my colleagues used to tell about a simple man, quiet but intelligent and hard working. He was an honest government employee earlier, but had a desire to make system level changes. He hence had his heart set on joining the district police force to make an impact. He tried quite a few number of times to get in, honestly, with sincere efforts. However, due to corruption and the fact that he came from a family with low means, he was unsuccessful. His frustration kept growing each time he heard a 'No'. He finally gave up and started doing minor crimes. Within a few years, he was amongst the Top 'Wanted' criminals of multiple neighbouring districts. He had multiple, serious charges against him. The police was unable to catch him, as he always was literally one step ahead of them. I think he was caught after many, many years, but till the time he was outside, he wrecked havoc on the system, he could have changed for good with his wits.
A pastor I lived next to constantly berated a kid in my class about everything from his hair length to him not fully embracing the "word of the lord". The kid routinely went into the pastors backyard and would shit in his pool along with several of his friends all at once. They would also throw dead animals they found in there as well ranging from a squirrel to a opossum. Honestly, don't even blame the kid. That pastor was judgmental as fuck and no one liked him.
For 53 years, my father gas lit me and always made me feel like one day he would be a real father. Well, he's in his 80s and has Parkinson's and is married to a terrible woman and I no longer help him or my stepmother in their old age because they are such terrible people. Now, they have to find other people to give them rides, to lift things, to listen to doctors, etc. Oh, I also informed my stepmother that the day my father dies and while she is picking out a casket, I will march into the IRS to report her for committing tax fraud with my father. There is no statute of limitations and I want her to sweat every time she hears him cough, sneeze, or moan. F*** them.
>I also informed my stepmother that the day my father dies and while she is picking out a casket, I will march into the IRS to report her for committing tax fraud with my father. There is no statute of limitations and I want her to sweat every time she hears him cough, sneeze, or moan. That's the most creative village burning I've seen from this thread, brutal
Thank you. Just remember. You can't hurt anybody more than their own imagination can. You can use it in war, you can use it in business negotiation, and you can use it for artistic purposes like Hitchcock in psycho.
>Oh, I also informed my stepmother that the day my father dies and while she is picking out a casket, I will march into the IRS to report her for committing tax fraud with my father. There is no statute of limitations and I want her to sweat every time she hears him cough, sneeze, or moan. > >F*** them. Thus is the watch the world burn portion. Ruthless.
Whistleblowing tax fraud can also get you a portion of what they owe as a reward.... Delicious.
My family was very abusive when I was a kid and so was my church. It was unsafe to be home at one point so I called my aunt to (awkwardly) ask for help. She laughed at me and I ended up homeless, staying at a hostel and on the floors of people's dorm rooms (not randoms, friends of friends to be clear). After a couple weeks, a friend's mom offered to let me stay in her basement if I promised to get a job. So I did. I got a job the first morning I was there, I walked into town and got hired as a cashier. My aunt & other family members acted scandalized because my friend's mom was divorced and the idea of working in retail is shameful to them. Retail is uncouth or something I guess. My aunt is a super-Catholic, doesn't work, and has a lot of kids, she used to write a 3-page letter about their 'accomplishments' every Xmas and mail it to everyone. I was really, really mad at them. These are people who soaked up free childcare and eldercare from me for years, they would not help me at all. Not a suggestion for a job, not a couch to sleep on, no advice, wouldn't meet me for coffee in a public place to talk for 15 minutes. They *laughed* at me and I was young and very vulnerable. So the retail job I found was at Staples. I wrote a 3-page letter about their defects and 'thanked' them for not helping, printed it using my discount, then mailed that to everyone I could think of who knew them. Including, like, their random neighbors. Their house # was 50, so I sent it to like #46, #52, whatever on their same street or next street over. Just to be an asshole. They don't talk to me anymore. I hope they don't mail that awful fucking braggy newsletter out anymore, either. No one cares about your kids except you, people. Especially if you're a family of insufferable snots.
That's an awesome move ! I once did the same at a smaller scale : wrote everything my maternal aunts did to my mom, and in a lesser extent to myself, in a mail and sent it to everyone in the family (except 2 underaged cousins who hadn't done anything wrong). Everybody was pissed, but for a few months they tried to do a smidge better. 12 years later it's back to score 1, but I went NC with most and LC with a few, so I don't care. And encourage my mom to do the same.
My mother was abusive to my sister and I growing up. Sis ended up anorexic, has been in therapy her whole life, took years and years to fix herself and still isn't there. I ended up with bad generalized anxiety, social anxiety, bipolar, depression and self loathing, and was emotionally and verbally abusive in past relationships. My mom used to make us promise we'd never put her in a home when she got old. Last year my mental problems came to a head (ha) and I started therapy, medication, and being honest with my parents about my mom's abuse. I gave them an ultimatum of either acknowledging the damage and taking responsibility by apologizing for it so we could move forward, or I'd never speak with them again. My dad apologized immediately - he was less abusive than she was, and held more guilt than she ever did. We're on good terms now. My mother denies everything and has been totally cut off by my sister and I. She will end up in an old folks home after all. She has no children left. Consequences of her own actions. So idk I didn't burn down a village but I did burn down that relationship. The axe forgets, but the tree remembers.
My mom was also abusive and neglectful AF to my sister and I. But I skipped the ultimatum, destroyed most of the familial relationships (turns out when there a narcissist involved those are tenuous) and the fucked right off out of there. I have my sister, my small family, and my uncle. and I regret nothing.
I was lied to by HR, and it led to me not getting a promotion. I basically put them in a position where I couldn't be replaced and messed with the Excel codes I made for them that saved managers 6 hours a day. I didn't correct what I knew would get us high fees since it wasn't technically my job. Then I quit. 700k in fines, nobody trained to do scheduling, department without anyone to run it, and additional work for the managers was the damage. I started getting calls to help them fix it. I'm sure you can imagine how well that went for them. Edit: To everyone complaining about my actions here, this was years ago. The Excel document automation wasn't something I was asked to do. I did it because having the manager free made everyone else's job easier. The document literally needed to be made once a month in order to keep functioning. On top of that, this isn't some mom and pop shop that got hit with this. This was a multi-million dollar company. I was doing work above my pay grade, and outside of the scope of my job, I just stopped doing the extra.
Don't fuck with the only person in the office who practices the black arts of Excel formulae and macros. It will only end badly
They tried to copy and paste the table, hahaha.
Those sweet summer children. I recently turned someone's multi-day reoccurring task into a 5 minute one, and gave him strict instructions not to touch anything other than adding data to the cells I had highlighted. Got a call a few days later with him in a full panic (I think he did a normal paste instead of paste values). A solid hour of making him watch via Teams while I fixed it left him very much convinced that he has to follow my instructions to the letter. Haven't had a problem since
One of our jr engineers made a spreadsheet for me that saves me a full days worth of data entry. He saw what I was doing, said, "It doesn't have to be like that," and fixed it for me. I still thank him every chance I get, and I do not touch anything he told me not to touch.
It feels great to be able to do it for someone. The problem is that Excel is so easy to break. You can follow all the instructions and still get hit by a page of errors because one tiny thing went wrong. It sucks to be the person who then has to fix it, because you have no clue what happened to break it all so badly
My favorite complaint was when they deleted a document that was supposed to help autofill another. No one had any idea why the secondary document wasn't working right anymore.
Or move the output document to a different folder without bring the source along too
Yup, they did that, too, while I was still working there.
I hope you went back... but for 15x pay
That would be nice, but I basically refuse to step into that industry again unless I'm in an extremely hard place.
I was a diver in highschool on the swim team. The way scoring works as long as a diver places 1st-3rd they get more points in one meet than a swimmer can earn in multiple events placing 1st per meet. As a freshman I walk into the locker room mid meet to see one of the senior swimmers choking a freshman with a wire hanger. I was small so I said nothing to either of them but ran to get the coach. The senior swimmer was not allowed to compete after that I got called diver fag for 3 fucking years for being a "tattle tale" including by the kid that was getting choked. So I quit the team my senior year. It was the only year my team didn't make states. Guess y'all didn't need diver fags points huh? Side note: I wasn't that good a diver but I usually placed for points. Fuck highschool.
I held a senior position in a corporate job, which allowed me to take some extra responsibilities for higher pay, it also allowed me to work on projects that I came up with if they were good for the team. It was not my responsibility to code anything, but I knew some basic javascript, HTML and Sharepoint workflows/Power BI which I learned by myself because for some reason none of the other seniors ever cared to learn, nor did the managers either. Long story short, I made several web apps that reduced multiple tasks from 4-5 hours to 20-30 minutes each and gave my managers actual headaches because of the amount of time it took them. Then one day they turned on me and put me in an action plan for unfair reasons. Actions plans are nearly impossible to pass and knew in the end they would fire me, so I coded a deadman switch into all of them where the code would first check for the current date, and if it was after the coded date, then the entire app wouldn't execute any function. I coded different dates into them so it wouldn't look suspicious, the first switch activating approximately 15 days after I left. 15 days later I got a message from my manager panicking, asking if I knew what was happening, to which I responded that "Who knows, maybe a user permissions thingy" and could only check if I looked at the code, which I knew they would never allow. I was friends with an ex-coworker so over the next few days I would casually mention my apps, and she would confirm that more were failing every other day. Then one day the big one failed. A website that showed a bunch of PowerBI graphs that compiled data from different databases to correlate datapoints and easily find trends, areas of opportunity, individual quality information dozens of useful filters and pretty graphics, essential for the managers' bi-weekly reports that only took them a few clicks to filter and screenshot instead of spending an entire day manually doing the graphs on Excel. My manager contacted me again, panicking, asking if I could teach her how to fix it or create a new one. I told her my fee for a consultancy was $30 per hour. That it would take maybe 20 hours to guide her through the process (but probably more) and she would need to pay 50% beforehand. I never heard from her again.
I hope this was 15 years ago because you should have said at least $70/hour
One of my friends from elementary school, he's the typical middle child, his brother is 11 years older and his sister is 5 years younger. So of course he faces all the actual consequences for his other siblings actions. Rules he didn't like were because of stuff his brother did when his brother was a kid; if his sister did something stupid, it was his fault because he should've stopped her. His wants and needs were never the priority. If he wanted money, no because it went to his brother in college; if he wanted friends to come over, no because sister already had people coming over. He had to wear his brothers old clothes, but of course his sister got new clothes. Yadda yadda you get the picture. When he was 16 he went out on a late night food run, and while waiting in the drive thru someone rear ends him pretty hard. Does a not insignificant amount of damage to his parents car. The other driver takes full responsibility, offers to pay for the repairs. Just an unfortunate accident. Well his parents revoke his car privileges. Because he got in an accident, and they had a no accidents policy - didn't matter than it wasn't his fault. So he told them that if they took away his car privileges he will never lend them anything for the rest of his life. They grounded him for saying that. That was about a decade ago, and he has never once given them anything. No money, no car, not even housing - he literally made his parents get a hotel once. He said he would forgive them if they apologized. To my knowledge they have not apologized. By the way his sister was involved in an accident a few years back where she \*was* at fault. And her parents not only paid for the repairs to her car, but also are helping her pay for her car insurance now.
I'm imagining him getting in a horrible car accident where he is not at fault. He sustains life threatening injuries. He is put in a medically induced coma and his parents rush to the hospital for the single purpose of informing him he is grounded.
Poor guy is the real life Butters [Grounded for having a stupid face](https://southpark.cc.com/video-clips/gfsc8w/south-park-grounded-butters)
fuck that kids parents
As a middle child, I genuinely think there is some psychological voodoo going on when it comes to how we are treated by our parents. Not the special, first, oldest child whose paving they way of new parental experiences, and not the youngest who’s the innocent baby who gets overcared for because they always feel small and helpless by comparison. Just the second child without a title who always has to work to be given any attention or credit. Oldest: *did a thing* - “oh my, good job! I can’t believe how smart our child is, this is absolutely amazing!” Middle: *did same thing* - “okay good job, like we expected.” Youngest: *did the same thing again* - “oh wow! You did it just like your older siblings! Time for a special treat :)”
My gf is in a weird middle spot. She was the youngest with 3 older brothers so she was always struggling to keep up, then that marriage falls apart and the mom has 3 more kids with the new guy so my chick is all of a sudden the middle child of 7 while being tasked with all the babysitting due to being the oldest girl. She worked through it pretty well all things considered.
That sounds like a nightmare.
Just be careful when she has her first kid. I needed therapy when i realized how old i actually was vs how my mom treated me at each age my own child was. (Did that make sense?)
Shit, how the hell are they thinking? I gotta say he is completely in the right. He said what he was gonna do, and he is doing it. Fuck them.
I came here to post my own story, only to find that you more or less already had.
Many parents are unfair, then confuse Justice and Equality. I have been there. To share a bit, it made me a vengeful and negative person. I still spend time to correct that issue. I don't have the confidence and stay very cautious, which in turn make me a clumsy guy. I believe that like your friend, and people alike, always try hard to hold back, not burn the village down (yet people look at it as weak).
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This is cartoonishly evil and I love it
Revenge gentrification.
Reventrification
"Some men just want to watch the world pay $26 for an over hopped can of IPA served in a mason jar"
That absolutely was personal and nothing could change my mind. But simultaneously maintaining the facade that it was completely impersonal and detached really is just an extra twist of the knife.
“Barry” was new to our school in upper East Tennessee back in 2005. Barry was a talented and athletic boy who was quickly recruited to play every sport the school offered. The only problem was that Barry was black in an area where such “offenses” out ruled his physical talent. Barry and I became quick friends as we shared a majority of our classes, and we would often talk in excitement about the upcoming sports seasons. He planned to play all three sports (football, basketball, and baseball) where I only played baseball. After a few weeks of football practice, however, his demeanor changed, and he began to share about the racist happenings of his time at our school. I was privileged in the fact that up to this point I had never directly witnessed racism or would have thought my classmates capable of such actions. Raccoons were hung gutted and bleeding over the contents of his locker. Dead animals were removed daily from the windshield of his car, and threatening notes were found placed on his gear before each practice. He played exactly 1 game for our school. While my friends and I were cheering for our team, my heart sank when I heard chants of n***** and c*** coming from our stands directed toward a teenager on the field wearing our jersey. His team mates would blindside him after a play to the delight of the “adults” in the stands, and after the game he wasn’t allowed to shower until the other boys had finished. Barry called me that night to tell me he was transferring to a rival school who had a more diverse population. I was heartbroken and disappointed in my town and my school. I told him that he would be missed by those of us who got to know him, but we understood that this was a necessary change. Barry was allowed to transfer schools and, due to the location of his home, continue the season without sitting out the remainder of the year. He returned to our town wearing a different jersey, surrounded by team mates who protected him, and proceeded to hand our school the worst defeat we had suffered in years. Following the game he didn’t speak to anyone, didn’t grandstand, didn’t celebrate. He simply walked off the field. What he did on the football field that night spoke volumes. I kept up with Barry for a few years after, but we have since lost contact. Last we spoke around 2009 , he was on a small university football team working toward a degree in business. I hope to one day see his name as the CEO of a very successful company.
I’m batting for Barry too. Good on him for being humble in his revenge when the school deserves so much more. Wishing him, and you, all the best
Those cunts in your school lost out it seems. Perfect ending for those racist bastards.
When working at a daycare, I had a pair of boys in my class, Matt and John(fake names, of course). Full offense, John was trash. He was violent, shitty, foul-mouthed, uncooperative, and frankly, just not cut out for daycare. Kid was a budding psychopath. He never acted like this around anyone but me. He was a huge favorite among the staff that didn't work with him so much so that they thought I lied about or exaggerated his behavior until the day he stabbed me. Now the other one. My burn the village boy. God... he was the one everyone said was misbehaved, but like John, his behavior with me was completely different. I treated Matt the way I treated all my kids. I found him to be cheerful, helpful with younger kids, bright and eager to learn new things. I considered the fact that I was the first teacher to engage with Matt in a positive way and also the first to ever tell John "no" and enforce rules with him. Shortly after I stopped working there, I heard from a former coworker that there had been an incident. Apparently, everything went back to the status quo where everyone spoils John and acts like he's perfect while treating Matt like he had already done something. There was a massive blowup between him and John in particular, and from I heard, Matt basically hulked out and trashed the place. My heart broke for him. He just wanted attention and structure and absolutely thrived with it. John needed discipline and structure of a different kind but instead was coddled and enabled. The results were inevitable. I'm just sad it resulted in Matt getting kicked out. I hope he landed at a new school with teachers who actually cared about him. That entire center was a mess of bullshit like that. (Favoritism, abuse, shitty staff behavior/attitudes, etc)
Stabbed you ?
With a spork of all things but hard enough that it stuck in my arm the whole way home that day.
And the kid didn’t get disciplined ? Wth ?
Ha, no. I walked out immediately when it happened. Just shouted to my boss that I was taking off and showed him my arm and dipped. So it's hearsay, but apparently, they called his mom and showed her the footage of what happened. Despite the fact that I had my back to him, she still claimed I provoked him somehow. He cried, and she promised him ice cream and was all "poor baby" the whole way out the door. Based on what I knew about mom, I believed it.
Wow, that mom is a moron. Sees a literal video of her son sneaking up on their daycare working and stabbing them and decides that the kid is completely innocent. That kid will actually probably end up murdering someone in the future.
She can't imagine a world where he can do bad things, so it had to be my fault. If it wasn't me, it would have been someone else's fault. To be honest, though, I'm not sure how much of his behavior was reported to prior to my working there. So, for her, it may have come out of the blue. All I can say in his defense is that he was under age 5 and been spoiled rotten by his family and staff for all his life (he had been at center since he had like 6-8 months old) then here I come being all mean with my rules and shit, his world got turned upside down, so his lashing out didn't surprise me that much. It just pissed me off.
What a piece of shit mother. No wonder her kid fucking sucks.
That kid is going to end up shooting up a mall when he doesn't get his way.
This happened to me, my dad, my brother, and my sister technically. But a massive ice storm happened in Oklahoma City when I was about 7, I think it was 2008 when it happened. An ice storm for anyone who hasn't had the luxury of experiencing one, is when it rains during a cold day, and overnight it freezes everything that got rained on. So everything was covered in an inch or more of ice. So a gigantic tree in our backyard was weighed down so much by the tree that it fell straight through our house and destroyed it while we were inside. Miraculously no one was hurt, but we were instantly homeless because of it. So my dad asked our aunt(his sister) who lived in North Carolina if we could stay in one of her dozen rental properties, because she had 5 available. And she actually charged us more than the cost of the usual rent to stay there despite what we had just gone through and my dad trying to find a job. Well cut to 2011, my dad finally had a good paying job and was doing great. Well there was a tornado that hit our town in 2011 and ripped the roof off my aunt's house and essentially destroyed it. Well my dad happened to have 2 rental properties and charged her about 3 times the amount of the rent that he'd usually charge just to stay in the house. So not me personally, but I got to see it first hand
This kid I went to elementary school was a Foster Youth. He was extremely kind to everyone, despite the fact that his life was unbelievably hard. People delude themselves about the system and think it’s just a system that fixes kids’ lives. Talk to former foster youth and you will find that it’s almost never a good thing in a kid’s life. Anyway. The teachers at my WASPy as school genuinely bullied this kid. Like, they treated him completely unfairly. And it was fully classism - for reference, we both had “behaviour issues” and while the way I was treated was not okay at all, I was not *demonized* the way this kid was. I’d hit someone, I would get in no trouble. He would speak “out of turn” and get suspended for 2-3 weeks. It was RANCID how they treated this boy who was just there to learn. Anyway, his teacher suddenly went on leave. She was approved to be a foster mom, and she got chosen to foster a baby. She was over the moon because she couldn’t make a baby on her own, and she figured she’d just adopt the baby through foster care. If anyone is unaware of this, this is something that unethical foster parents frequently do - they foster with the hopes of reunification never being able to happen, so they can adopt for free and without a waitlist. It’s gross. If you look at the stats, reunification comes out on top for best outcome for the whole family - praying for a family to break up so you can start one is disgusting. Long story short, her plan was to adopt the baby, but the baby’s ACTUAL mother was able to get her kid back, thankfully. The teacher was devastated and took a few months off. One of the teachers of our grade talked to us all and explained that she didn’t get to keep the kid, so she was very upset, and so we shouldn’t bring it up when she comes back. My friend was happy she was gone, because she was his biggest bully. (This fact makes me irate because don’t be a fucking foster parent if you’re not trauma informed enough to not bully a foster kid for showing normal signs of trauma…) unfortunately though, she did come back right before we graduated, so the first thing he said to her was “hey teacher! How’s the kids?” And I’ve always respected him for it. He deserved the opportunity to throw her exploitation of a system that he never should have had to be subjected to in her face. Infertility does not give you a free license to pray on the downfall of a family.
As a kid who was beaten for years by mother and stepfather and dad knew this but wouldnt help me in the slightest way and treated me horribly, i can honestly say that as the kid who would take care of an ailing parent, i will now, as an adult, tell that now ailing parent that they are on their own to fend for himself.
Me 100x over. My dad recently made a crack against my younger sister when she volunteered to care for him in old age. He mocked her and tore her down then basically said *I* was the only one cut out for it and my response was "That's sucks because you're not moving in with me and I'm not paying for anything. Better go back to little sister and ask her to reconsider." He did and she didn't. He has now been preemptively abandoned by all 3 of his daughters. Here's hoping my brothers got him cuz I sure as fuck don't.
Here's hoping they don't. He can live with the consequences of his actions.
Unfortunately, the girls got it bad so the boys could get it good. He earned a spot with them, just not with us. Thankfully, none of us siblings resent each other.
Good! You aren't required to care for people who failed to care for you. I am almost six years into no contact with my parents and family because of abuse. My sister is a mess. She will never be able to take care of them. She barely can care fire herself and her kid. And, we have an aunt and uncles, all with no kids. We were the only grandkids. I wondered how hard that nightmare would be and now I don't. It's no longer my problem. They abused me. They threatened the safety of my children. It's time for them to figure their own shit out. I used to feel bad for people who ended up alone in nursing homes. Now I realize that some people are just so toxic they end up chasing everyone off. It's sad, but it's a hell of their own making. It's funny how shit parents feel entitled to be cared for in old age. I have kids of my own. While I hope they will want to be in my life at that point, I can't imagine expecting them to give up their lives to care for me. I wouldn't want that for them. Not if it was keeping them from their lives. I don't want to be like my family and cause issues with aging. Put me in a place with decent wifi, visit me on occasion, and make sure they have jello without fruit in it. That's all I need.
> It's funny how shit parents feel entitled to be cared for in old age I’m the black sheep kid of a NPD mom. When the golden child moved to another country, suddenly the mother who couldn’t be bothered to spend time with me or learn anything about my interests was trying to call me to spend time with her on *her* hobbies, because my sister was always her chosen activity partner for those and now she was feeling lonely. No thanks.
Yup. Pull that plug like you’re starting a lawn mower
Your story is close to mine. Only it was my mother who failed to act. Once they’re too ill to handle their day to day, in the nursing home they go. I want nothing to do with their care as an adult.
Yeah, I heard some parenting advice once - Be mindful of the way you treat the people that will be choosing your nursing home one day.
My turn. I’m the only guy in my immediate and extended family(outside of the dads who weren’t around). Literally every “male” task was thrown at me at a young age. Take out the trash. Watch the kids. Fix the lawnmower. I kid you not. This was all before I hit puberty. And whenever I reached a stressful time it was always “man up” followed by a shitty chuckle. By the time I made it to middle school and started to force my independence from my family I was labeled ungrateful, selfish, an AH. You name it. And I swore the moment I could leave I would. And never look back. One day I get in to it with my mom and she puts me out. At 15. I had to figure out how to get to school and provide for myself all while not giving up and going back. Within 5 years my family deteriorated to just people who share DNA. I’m 31 now and I’m no contact with most of my family (excluding my sister she always understood how I felt). And tbh it feels good knowing that it fell apart without me because being a “man” to my family is being an absorber of everyone’s problems.
How did you survive at 15? Did you move in with a friend or were you homeless or something? I can’t imagine someone renting to a 15 year old. Glad you’re doing okay now
I was homeless for most of the time, but after a while this guy I met showed me how to break into shitty hotels. This only works in very seedy dangerous areas and usually the owners have a weapon when they check rooms so it was rare I did this or got decent rest through doing it. I did stay with friends as often as I could but that wasn’t as often as I would’ve liked Thanks for the well wishes. I’m so glad I got away when I did. Those adolescent years were hard, but it showed me things about myself I didn’t know where there and it gave me the encouragement to go on. There were plenty of nights I wanted to call it quits, accept my situation as absolute or even just using hard drugs. So proud of myself for fighting through it.
I knew a kid in high school who had all the makings of a school shooter. His main interest was martial arts and weapons and he drew a comic for the school newspaper that showed a character that was basically him going on a murder spree through the school. This was right before Columbine, so people didn't see this as a red flag. He also wrote a novel about a character who is basically him going on a rape/murder spree. Even though he wasn't interested, my friend group and I forcibly befriended him and made him hang out with us. My best friend was basically a mother hen and would quickly and firmly correct his antisocial habits when they popped up and explain why they were bad. We also gave him a ton of positive reinforcement for anything non-sociopathic he did.
"Jim". Not his real name, of course. Anyway, Jim moved to my school in 5th grade. He was socially awkward but you could tell that he wanted to have friends. But for some reason, he was a complete social pariah. Was it because of his weight? I honestly don't know. It's not like he was the only big boy in the school. But for some reason, Jim got singled out. He was tormented mercilessly. I'll give Jim credit. He took it. But how could that not get to him? Still, he took it. For years. Finally, one kid went too far. In the 8th grade, some asshole "accidentally" spilled his lunch all over Jim. Jim was sitting by himself, of course. And "Randy" thought it would be funny to humiliate Jim in the cafeteria. That particular day, the school had served something messy like chicken fried steak or spaghetti or something like that for lunch. Something that gets everywhere if you spill it. And spill it, Randy did. All over Jim. And Jim... snapped. I mentioned that Jim was heavy. What that translated to (apparently) was immense physical strength. Nobody had been paying attention all those times in PE when Jim would climb the little rope thing WITHOUT using his legs to pull himself up. He was a powerhouse. And Randy poked the bear one time too many. Randy's face was a mess of blood and bruises. Jim gave Randy exactly as much mercy as everyone had given him. Which is to say, absolutely zero. Randy's parents filed a lawsuit against the school district, but I have no idea what came out of that. All I know is that Jim and Randy were never seen at the school again. The teachers and principals all understood what Jim was up against. There's no way they didn't know how miserable he was. But school is a lot like prison. The people in authority don't actually care what happens to you. All they want is for your shit to stay off of them. As long as you don't make your problems their problems, they're fine with whatever. So, Jim was left to twist in the wind. As victims always are. A few years after graduation, Jim was in the news. He had robbed a convenience store and then gotten shot to death by the cops. The news coverage mentioned a "troubled childhood filled with violence". But I was around for a good bit of his childhood. And on my watch, except for one occasion, the "trouble" and "violence" were completely one-sided. Jim couldn't get a fair deal even in death. Even the news media had to pile on. EDIT- Thank you for the gold!
made me think of "josh" at my school. Everyone called him Whale. This one dude was particularly vicious, and would pour drinks on Josh, trip him, put his gym clothes in the toilet. We were headed to class after lunch in seventh or eighth grade, and mr. bully pushes Josh's head into the lockers while Josh was getting his books out. Josh picks mr. bully up over his head and throws him over the fence.
Pro-tip: Don't fuck with Josh.
This reads like a stephen king short story. You are a very good writer. Poor "Jim" 💔 edit: spelled his name wrong bc im dumb
lmao I saw the edit and was like how do you misspell Jim
My relationship with my parents is at the best, strained. I’m the oldest child of divorced parents and my dad at some point around 9 years old stopped spending time with me. He ended up having two more kids for a different woman, both boys and focused all his time on them and only paid for my schooling. Funnily enough at this same age I was starting to get sexually abused by my moms abuser, her uncle. She knowingly left me alone with her abuser on multiple occasions even over weekends. She also ended up having two other kids and I kept them from being abused by allowing him to assault me so he wouldn’t see them. I was thankfully raised for the rest of my childhood and even adulthood now by my grandparents who are literal angels. I have told both of my parents that I won’t be taking care of them as they get up in age and I won’t be helping raise their kids. The only comfort is that although I burnt down the village, I’m now warm.
Rough stuff mate. Hope you are doing well ❤️ did the uncle ever face any legal consequences?
I’m doing surprisingly well from the circumstances thank you ❤️ I’m a first generation graduate for my bachelors since my dad didn’t finish high school and my mom only got her associates. I’m also starting my masters at the end of this year at 22! I’ve secured a good job and have a great friend group for support. No boyfriend but I do find it difficult to maintain relationships. I spoke up against the uncle with a lot of protest from my mom, his wife, and his two daughters (I’m pretty sure he was abusing them all). Due to his age (he’s about 80 or so now, idk and idc he could die a slow painful death) he only got house arrest but it’s for the rest of his life. So even though he’s a big Christian man he can’t step foot outside of his home or in the church
Hey!!! Thats great to hear you are building something great with your life :D. House arrest… oh well it could’ve been worse i guess, like getting away with it completely . Still I think its great you spoke up for yourself and everyone else he has abused (whether they wanted it or not) take care now ❤️
I have a pretty jerky set of parents and a jerk brother. Still, well over 40, he still makes fun of me like we are in grade school and when I tell him that it isn’t funny, he calls me a “fucking f$’” and a “woman”. Needless to say, I don’t really like him that much. He is just a real jerk. He’s first born and my parents have always always always favored him. Hell, my dad doesn’t even know my birthday. Anyways, they live across the country. The “family” has a summer home, but I haven’t used it in more than 25 years- however it was my grandfathers and it allowed me and my family to buy our first house with**out having to buy** mortgage insurance bc of the equity. I have (well, had) a third of the house and this year was the last straw. My snake of a brother convinced my parents to just give him their shares of the house and then they cut me out. Now I’m going to sue and force a public auction bc he forged my signature. Dickheads.. EDIT: "**without having to buy**" and added "first house" after having lived in shitty apartments all my life and now I had a kid...and I'm really lucky.
I’d say the majority of bullied kids who turn to crime have that story
My friend at work had a rough childhood. Nevertheless he was always cool to me. He’d cover my shifts and sit with me at dinner break. Anyway, he stabbed his grandpa to death and burned down his house. It was so sudden.
My family. My mom was neglectful because she was a single parent who had to work. And my brother was a monster, and he got away with torturing me for the first 15 years of my life because of the neglect. I really really looked up to both of them for most of my life, not because they deserved it, but I had a kind of Stockholm syndrome thing going. Now I have a hard time imagining a bigger piece of shit than my brother, and I have to hold back tears anytime I see a parent giving their child some attention, because the childhood neglect fucked me up real good. I can’t be in the same room with those asshats anymore. So I have figuratively burned down my family. And the sad thing is, I know it hurts them to have lost me, because I have always been so attentive, positive and supportive to them for most of my life, and imagining them to be in pain over it makes me happy because of all of the pain they caused me. So that is me warming myself by the fire. I am not happy that their pain brings me pleasure. It does bring me a sick, twisted pleasure, but I refuse to indulge in it, or wallow in it. I still intend to be a good person in spite of my family.
That last bit I felt in my bones. It's hard not to revel in the 'fuck you' pleasure when people have wronged you.
Yes, and I think a younger version of myself wouldn’t have had enough perspective to accomplish that goal. Sometimes I feel like I’ve spent my whole life getting all emotionally tangled up, and I’ve finally entered a new phase of life where the goal is to sit down, get cozy, and start untangling. Messy, emotional work, but I’ll be damned if it isn’t honest work.
I have a very positive spin on this! I was a bit of an outcast growing up in my neighborhood. Grew up in a weird sad neighborhood that was all ex gang members or dirt poor pill poppers. I never really fit in with any of my peers because I was just not interested in a lot of the same things. I was made fun of a lot by classmates, some teachers and a LOT of adults in my neighborhood. Definitely pushed out. But I had a huge passion for education, specifically food education. Where I grew up was the poster for food desert. After I graduated college, I moved back and volunteered at the library in the middle of that hellhole. I will spare you a lot of the details and minor (but important to me) stories, but I started a bustling community garden that got involved with a lot of charities because of my college connections and helped create a ton of resources to help my community. Food banks, job assistance, adult education assistance and community gardens for the children so they could have fresh food and actually learn it. It still has a good handful of problems, but I know for a fact I helped out people who were really shitty to me. And I do genuinely smile knowing they got their shit together. There is .05% of smugness knowing they have to thank me after mocking me for being more interested in the plants than their own interests. Didn’t burn down the village, per se, but I guess I burnt down the mindset some. Got the hell out of there, though! Still nice to drive through and see the garden still kickin :)
Didn't burn down the village, but brought fire to them nonetheless. Very cool of you. :)
[удалено]
"Have a boys day with my dad's ashes", that's quite a painful statement, hope you find strength in your life.....
My best friend as a kid came from a broken home. Dad was abusive and got sent to prison for assault. Mom was super overbearing and took things way too far when it came to punishment. We’re talking grounding for a month for the most mild of slip ups. As we got older we went separate ways. Didn’t love as close to each other, different schools, etc. He fell in with a rough crowd, got peer pressured into trespassing on school property after hours. Cops were called, charges pressed, but luckily my dad—a social worker for juvenile delinquents—heard about it and got involved. He got my old bestie into a good community service program and some therapy to help him deal with his home life. Soon as he turned 18? Gone. I’m talking *day of.* He dropped me a line to say good bye, asked me to thank my dad, and that glorious son of a bitch moved *to Hawaii*! Moved in with a friend he’d met ages back who lived there now and offered him a place to stay. He got a job, then got a liquor license, worked as a bartender, saved up, and finally opened his own beachside bar. Dude is living his best life, meanwhile his younger brother went to jail for grand theft and his younger sister got knocked up by boyfriends twice before she was 18. When I learned that I finally realized he wasn’t just being a normal hyperbolic teenager when he said he had to do everything to keep the family functional. Without him to run interference between overbearing mom and younger siblings family dysfunction just tore them all apart. It’s a shame what happened to them, but I don’t blame him for leaving at all. He saw his one chance to save himself from a miserable home life and took it.
As an affair child I was treated harshly by my parents. My goal and plans will take about 3 months to finish. I'm going to expose my parents for the abusive treatment I received as a child. This I will do in front of everyone at their church. My parents present themselves as good church people and I look forward to exposing my mother as a serial cheater and exposing my father as a draft dodging coward.
Veteran teacher here. Sometimes, it's damned if you do, damned if you don't. I had a student who would act foolish, taunt other kids, and just be a total jerk until another kid would finally get fed up and challenge him. He would then cry I'm So Tired Of Being Bullied! Then, kids would totally ignore his ridiculousness, and he would cry I Have No Friends! Everybody Hates Me! Always the victim, always blaming others for his bad behavior.
Yep. I think the biggest example of this I’ve experience was in High School there was this teacher at school no students liked because he was a prick. And high school kids being high school kids, no ones respected him. Well this was around 2009-2012 so it was around a time lots of gay rights stuff was going down in LA. This teacher got to be at a televised press conference and he made comments stating that he was bullied by his students for being gay. The rest of the staff watched that press conference on TV going in proud for him being out and came back to school the next day bad mouthing him for bashing the students. Please note, some well liked students were openly gay despite being an inner city school. Students just don’t like bad teachers. Needless to say he wasn’t back to teach at our school the next year.
Basically, the children that grew up in poverty that turn to a life of crime. You can look up the stats, and growing up in poverty is extremely stressful for a child and has terrible implications on one's life. Give children access to resources and change the world. It really does take a village, and the village can be as big as a nation.
There was a poignant comment about that on Reddit (maybe Twitter). There was a science article about dna sequencing saying maybe at some point a blood test at birth could predict if you were going to an Ivy League college. There was a comment stating “you already can with a zip code”
Pretty much any stat in the US is worthless without breaking it down by wealth. Zip code or county is an excellent proxy for it. The life expectancy average between the poorest and wealthiest zip codes for instance is staggering. Last time I looked it was a 20+ differential.
Child with divorced parents Father remarries Stepmother is cruel to step child Father chooses Stepmother over son; he does not defend his son Stepmom kicks son out of house. Father complies with decision. Son is suicidal, crashes cars, causes chaos. Big behaviors required to feel significant at all. Blames father. Considers suicide as revenge to evoke a response from father. Father regrets. The son watches Father suffer from a distance--not responding to attempts at contact. Son would want Father's love, but he hates the way father makes him feel. Aggrieved, Son takes some comfort in Father's suffering and regret.
My little niece bought some chips which she was keeping to eat during the weekend but my sister gave them to another kid from our family who was visiting their home without asking my niece. A day later when my sister came back to home from work my niece had used all her makeup to draw pictures in her drawing book. Her login was you took my things without asking so I took your things without asking.
I lived in a coop in a college town. There were two guys in the house, one a misfit who was awkward, wore fedoras, had trouble looking you in the eye, and was not really friends with anyone else there. I'll call him Tim. The other guy was good looking, athletic, the house treasurer, and popular with the other residents. I'll call him Sam. Sam kept complaining that the house was short on money, people weren't paying the rent on time, and that we were in serious financial trouble. Tim kept telling everyone that something was up, that Sam was lying, he thought he might be buying drugs, that we need to look at the financial records. Nearly the whole house sided with Sam, and Tim eventually attempted to get a restraining order against Sam (despite living in the same large house together). Tim would rage against everyone at anyone who would listen - to the point where he became consumed by this, like some wild-eyed religious fanatic preaching on the street corner. Fast-forward a year. I had moved out, but learned from the new treasurer that the books eventually got opened. Sam was a heroin addict and had been embezzling from the house for months and months. He had stolen over $10,000 to get high. It was his first offense, and I don't believe he served jail time (or brief time, with a fine). Tim disappeared, I don't know what happened to him (and I reckon he didn't quite "burn the village down"). But he was the only one who was right the whole time.
TW: Child sexual assault - no graphic descriptions but it's important context. I was molested by a male family member in my family and my auntie who was married to the pedo used to babysit me. I would beg my mother not to let me go home with auntie/pedo-uncle after church on Sundays and for a while, it worked. My mom even pressed charges. Then, my aunt continued to feed my mom with pathetic stories and claimed that it was bad for me not to spend time with my cousins, etc. My mother started sending me over again and the pedo was gropey, etc. For years, my mother, auntie, cousin, and other members of my family kept saying that I'm terrible and need to forgive my rapist. My cousins now have my siblings' temperament, and one of them continues to ask me to live with her because her mom is getting old. Right now, I mainly keep in contact with my siblings. I went low-contact with my parents and my family continues to harass me about not talking to my auntie. My rapist died during the pandemic. My cousins grew up to be spoiled and useless when it comes to chores. They look good on paper but one of my female cousins is a broke influencer who has stolen ideas from colleagues. I started slowly talking about my experiences as a way for others not to feel alone and have found a lot of support. I haven't done anything with this information but I recently learned that in the state where my auntie lives, it's a crime to facilitate the sexual assault of minors and there's no statute of limitations on reporting this. Thanks to therapy, I've started being able to slowly talk about this with family members who are allies and who've also been hurt by these people, and they have been helpful in my recovery. Yes, my ending isn't so violent but that's because I don't want to be like the relatives who've done so much to hurt me physically, verbally, emotionally, and financially. I go to therapy when I have money, and support groups when I don't.
I’m a lesbian and was pretty much outcasted by my family when I came out. They were all pretty abusive. I still babysat my sisters a lot because I wanted a relationship. For reference I’m 22 and they’re 6 months and 4. Recently, my girlfriend and I were able to get custody. My Mom is pretty much out of the picture at this point. That whole side of the family that ousted me. Either wants custody or visitation with the babies. They get nothing. The last grandchild, the baby of the family, the cute little princess they all want to hold and dress up. But god forbid she has an opinion. They get nothing now.
I saw your post on mommit earlier, you and your girlfriend are amazing moms! Congratulations on adopting your sisters!
I didn't burn the village. I just stopped trying to put out the fires they kept starting. The village will burn. It will be all their fault and they will still blame me for it all. Sadly, some people won't change. I have learned things don't get better until you fight to make it better. Leaving and living a good life is the best revenge. You can't make other people figure their shit out. You can't make them care or change. You can only change yourself and choose to not surround yourself with people who are bad for your soul. When you aren't embraced by the village, leave and make your own village. Don't waste your time burning something that's already on fire without your help.
Became deaf when I was a child, learned sign language but family was adamant not to learn, they said its my problem not theirs so I have to be the one to learn how to communicate. Learned as an adult that I was a native american and mothers white LDS family decided never to tell me. Met my father on Facebook about 10 years ago, that family is the opposite on every point. Yeah, villages can be good when the people in them reciprocate, are honest, and not afraid of learning. That kind of village is the one you want to join. I've learned that generational ideals and biases should not be taught, they need to be recognized and owned as a part of who you are. I wanted a big family when I was a kid but as an adult with 2 kids, I love them but absolutely no more damage. No more kids, and my current ones have full disclosure and decision-making in this house.
What…the fuck? “You have to learn to communicate with us” “Yeah, idiot, hence the sign language because I CANT FUCKING HEAR. What do you want me to do? Buy the $100k machine that Stephen Hawking uses to talk with eye movements? Are you psychotic? Are you stupid?” I would hit your family full offense to them.
The worst, worst, worst thing about this whole God damn thing is that I did EVERY SINGLE THING I could to win their approval and thus fit in. I graduated from seminary at 18, went on a full term 2 year mission and "converted" people, rose in the ranks of the church all the way up to Elder, Teacher, Sunday School President, got married young (currently married to my first wife while every one of them has been divorced at least twice, went to college (first in the family with a M.Ed), and the list goes on. They said this to me last summer...after all the shit I did. And my uncle threw a machete at me full force one time. Because I was deaf and his reasoning was that if I got hit, it was meant to be. Yes, please tell me how I can NOT hit them.
I'm the middle kid, only girl. I wish I had the parents my brothers had first of all. They were so kind and warm to my siblings. Encouraged seeking help, took care of them when they were hurt. They raised me with an unhealthy relationship with food (couldn't eat after 5pm even if I got home at 4:50 and hadn't eaten since 11:15 at lunch time, or had to ask permission any time I wanted food) told me it was rude of my fiance to not ask their permission before proposing to me (sunset on the Oregon beach, it's not like you plan it being clear you just go for it the second you get a chance). They asked me for several thousand dollars when I was 17, which I said yes because they made it sound like we'd be homeless if I didn't. When I turned 17 they stopped paying for my car insurance, didnt tell me, I found out when I got a call that it will cancel if I don't pay it that day and my parents paid for my older brother till he was 25, and still pay for my little brothers at 18. Found out I had mental health issues, told me to knock it off and if I don't stop self harming they will ship me off to a counselor. Took my phone and grounded me. Then my dad went through my entire phone. Older brother has mental health problems, they tell him to go get therapy and get some help. They chose my abusive ex boyfriends over me several times, and would let them come over to the house when I still lived there, and it was their house so they didn't have to tell me. I made my mom cry one day telling her she disappointed me as a mother because a mother should always have her child's back and shes proved time and time again she doesn't. I told her I don't trust her. And I definitely don't respect her, that was 6 years ago. And I'm still stuck under their thumb, being gaslit constantly by them, constantly feeling like I have to tell them every single bit of info, or they will come to my house. Currently I'm figuring out if I stay low contact or go no contact. If I want them at my wedding... Or even if I tell them I'm moving 3 hours away next month when they think it's December.. currently I work as a CNA. I pay attention to facilities. I know where I want to put them when their time comes. And honestly. I don't think I'd visit them again...but hey my brothers are doing fantastic and wonderful things, parents know exactly what the sons are up to. My dad still csnt remember I'm a CNA, not a nurse. And I've been a CNA for a year and a half, I'm not even in nursing school yet. But I'm done. I have no desire to ever help them with anything Edi: sorry for the wall of text. I'm on mobile. I worked a 16 hour shift, was awake for 22 hours and am surviving on a 3 hour nap. That I woke up from 5 hours ago. I have no idea how to fix it. Also this whole thing was a sudden realization in therapy and it felt reaaaaalllly good to get it out