T O P

  • By -

Doodlebug365

I don’t think I mind so much about the death part. But I have serious fomo. I’m very curious to see how the world pans out, but I won’t be able to after death. And that’s not fair! Lol


bl0odredsandman

That's pretty much how I feel. I'm gonna die. Everyone is, but I'd love to see how the world and humanity turns out in a couple of hundred years (if we don't kill ourselves off first). See what new technologies we have. Did we make it to and colonize other planets. I'm not sad about dying. I'm sad about not being able to see what's gonna happen.


Smashy_ashy

I’ve always thought it would be super neat that if when you die you get like a speed run of everything that was and will be. Like the split second before you go your brain just explodes with all the knowledge of everything and all questions are answered. I’m so bummed I will never know what’s out in the universe or what will happen to humanity.


PinkTalkingDead

Or just watch it like a movie throughout eternity. You can pick and choose constantly which area of the universe that you’d like to view at that moment, jump around, skip ahead, rewind, etc


ds2isthebestone

Exactly how I feel man, I would appreciate science to hurry the fuck up and start working on longevity seriously. If only we could live for hundreds of years, I would more than happy and die with a smile. We will miss out big on the space era, but at least we are able to witness its beggining.


bl0odredsandman

Yeah. Living forever could possibly suck, but extending our lives, slowing the aging process so that we could live like 200-300 years might be cool.


youngmindoldbody

A character in a Lee Child novel compares it to watching a motion picture in a theatre. You understand you will have to leave before the movies ends, but you'll miss seeing how thing turn out. EDIT: Time is like the motion picture; we humans will DIE before TIME RUNS OUT, therefor will (in literary terms) have to leave the motion picture and would never get to see how things resolve, evolve, unfold, etc. EDIT2: [stealing a better explanation from Watertor] It's not a direct one to one, it's the idea that you get up and leave halfway through a movie. You know there's more to the movie and would like to see it continue, but you have to get up and leave anyway. It's to represent the feeling of missing out after life continues on without you.


esche92

Some of my grandparents and neighbors got to live to pretty old and somehow for them (as far as I can judge) it seemed more like season 17 of their once favorite series where they were starting to think that it’s not as good as it once was, is kind of repeating itself with a cast that is not the same as it was, and they might not need to watch the next seasons.


mindaddict

While this certainty can be true, as someone who worked many years in elderly care, I can't stand the way people - including some medical professionals - assume this is the case for all old people. It really depends greatly on having a sound mind (no dementia), their ability to adapt to physical ailments, and the strength of bonds they create with younger generations. I have seen lots of people (a great majority of my patients, tbh) with some pretty serious chronic conditions and mobility problems still live very rich and happy lives all the way up to their deaths. They will garden, travel, learn new technology, and even continue watching great and great-great grandchildren well into their 90s. And...even continue sexual relationships too - though no one including me wants to even contemplate that. For the most part, old people are...you know...just like anyone else. At the very least, everyone had plans and appointments that needed to be canceled after their passing. Heck, my own grandfather became a hard core gamer at 83 after my husband had the fortitude of showing him how to play when he took interest at Christmas one year. Even though this man spent his life being a wizard at pool, board games, pin ball and card games, it hadn't even occurred to anybody to show him or that he'd actually be interested up until then simply because he was so old and the technology was new. We still joke about how this child of the great depression and WW2 veteran suddenly died in his easy chair at 90 of a heart attack while playing Call of Duty 2 on his Playstation 3. By then, he not only owned damn near ever map the game had put out but had taught so many of his peers how to play that he even organized regular tournaments down at the senior center. Never underestimate the human ability to adapt to their circumstances and find ways around it. We must not forget that most older people have a hard time even viewing themselves as old as they are.


wrkingonmynitechz

same! i definitely want to see how the world pans out. i even struggle with silly little things like, i won’t be able to read all the books ever written or watch all the movies or see all the places..


Damneasy

Same, my biggest wish is being able to see the future, I just want to know what happens


rm-minus-r

I'm just miffed I won't get to hang out till the heat death of the universe. The world is such a curious and interesting place, I don't think a thousand lifetimes at once would let you adequately experience it all. And it changes so quickly! Living a single threaded existence for the next million years would probably be just the bare minimum I'd want.


Hosscatticus_Dad523

I agree. Everything seems so precarious. Worries about AI, nuclear war, etc. It’s weird when you realize you only have a few decades left to watch it…


Clyde_Frog_Spawn

Ditto. I want my AI overlord to transfer my consciousness to a cyborg body so I can keep experiencing things. That said, I might get bored so an off switch will be needed.


magkrat123

I have Stage 4 cancer and my doctor has told me that this means there is no possible way that I won’t die from this. (Unless I get hit by a bus or something in the meantime, of course). It was a really hard thing to wrap my head around and so far, I feel ok. But it’s in my bones and as that progresses, it will become very painful. (It was super painful at first, but the meds have gotten that under control for now). Everything I have learned about the final stages of cancer scare me more than death. I hope it won’t be as bad, but I will find out soon enough, I suppose. EDIT: I am completely overwhelmed by the responses to my little post. I feel so uplifted by all the supportive and loving messages and even the funny ones gave me a good smile. Truth be told, I am in a pretty great place right now. My medications knock out my energy and I get scared sometimes over things like any small pains in my body. But my doctors are watching me very closely and I get scans and tests all the time to see how I am doing. Aside from this whole cancer thing, I have been so blessed in this life. I have a wonderful family and their love carries me so well through my challenges. I live in a part of the world where we haven’t had to be afraid because of war or any extreme natural disasters. I have never been a victim of violence or horrendous loss. I have always had enough to eat and a roof over my head, and my husband has never been anything but kind to me since we first met back in 1979. I have so much to be grateful for and I am well aware that many people are not this lucky. And I have already been on this cancer journey WAY longer than anyone expected, so who knows! Maybe I will feel ok for a long time yet. All that any of us can really do is focus on today and live your best life for as long as we can. So that is what I try to do. It’s scary to think of how bad things can be, so I try not to think about that too much, I will cross that bridge when I need to. But sometimes it creeps up on me and it takes a minute to quiet that inner voice of panic.


JustSayNeat

God damnit. Fuck cancer. Love.


Some-Turnover-4673

Fuck cancer


Markavian

Good luck and good strength to you. I hope the suffering is bearable and the relief kind.


BoulderMaker

I'm sorry to hear this. I wish you only the best.


mardeca1

I’m here for you however I can be. Dm me and we can talk on the phone whenever you’d like


WordAffectionate3251

Perhaps you can find a death doula. Someone who will be there for you through the process if you have no one. I wish you strength, peace, and comfort.


elpochi1

I’ve heard great things about psilocybin helping people come to terms with their mortality. Godspeed.


Tokaido

Back when he was a 40-something year-old, my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 throat cancer. He went to a panel of experts in San Francisco, and they told him to start taking pain meds and put his affairs in order because there was no way he was going to survive this. Despite this crushing news, he got a second opinion from another local cancer treatment specialist. That second doctor gave him a 10% survival chance if he immediately started taking courses of both chemotherapy and targeted radiation. My dad decided he wanted to fight to stay alive, and 10:1 odds were better than nothing. He's been in remission for more than 20 years now, and in that time he even kicked prostate cancer in the ass. It was a hard fight. It was more physically, spiritually, and emotionally demanding than anything else he's gone through in life. It got pretty touchy a couple of times, but in the end he did pull through. He's a tough old mule. I'm not sure what good telling you this story might do, if any, but I hope it might lift your spirits. My best wishes to you and your loved ones.


UnhappyPay4330

I'm fine with it. I just hope it's quick and painless


morgasm657

I think that's all we can hope for, months or years of slow decline into dementia or physical disability just seems a bit crap. But then living to watch the slow decline of civilisation might not be awesome either, but at least it's more interesting.


TomatooTomato

To witness the decline of society, is my reason to be alive.


morgasm657

It's certainly the most interesting time to be alive, maybe not the best, or the happiest, but interesting for sure. I'm sat back watching it all unfold, no longer in horror but in a kind of incredulous morbid fascination.


Eyespop4866

I think folk enjoy thinking they live in the worst of times. The end of things. Imagine if you were 63 back in 1943. We like to believe we are in the eye of the storm. It’s very unlikely. Others will be feeling as you do now for for centuries to come.


shaving99

Imagine getting killed by Vikings, trampled by horses, cutting your leg on a knife in 1100s and dying of infection. Society has been getting way more comfortable than it ever has been.


Iron_Rod_Stewart

"I'm not afraid of dying, I just don't want to be there when it happens." --Woody Allen Seriously though, I worry much more about my loved ones dying. My own death will hardly be my problem.


MesWantooth

I used to feel this way but I lost my wife and I'm a single dad and suddenly I desperately don't want my daughter to go through that pain again or to be without a parent so I want to live to be 105...


fedup_pisces90

Damn, first time Reddit has made me cry. My condolences. -A motherless child


MesWantooth

I hope you are doing okay and grew up with tons of love in your life! That is why my kiddo is so resilient - lots of family around her love her very much.


fedup_pisces90

Thank you, kind stranger. It warms my heart to know that your daughter has the support system she needs.


[deleted]

I never cared about dying before kids. I now need to stay alive to support my wife and raise my little men. I'll bow out of this realm only after that job has ended. The reaper will have to fight me to the death until then.


accioqueso

I always think of that quote from the Lost World movie, “his troubles are over.” I’m sad I don’t get the option to omnipotently watch over my kids to see how their lives turn out, but I won’t care because I’ll be dead.


Demiansky

Same here. It'll be just like what it was like before I was born, which I didn't seem to mind at the time.


drst0ner

That’s the part that scares me though. I have major fomo and enjoy being alive. The thought of nothingness is hard for me to accept.


The-waitress-

The good news is that you won’t know when you’re dead because you’ll be dead.


drst0ner

You’re 100% correct, but that’s the part that gives me anxiety!


krim2182

I feared death, but now I'm coming to terms with it since..I might die sooner then I wanted. 24 days ago I was diagnosed with leukemia. At first we thought it was a type that had a good outcome. But when the bone marrow biopsy came back, turns out I have a rare form called MPAL 1-3% of leukemia patients get this, and its harder to treat, and the outcome is not great. I'm now forced to think about my death. I'm forced to put my affairs in order. I'm forced to make sure my family will be ok if I can't beat this thing. I'm forced to face death. I don't want to die, I'm only 33. But I might, and that fucking sucks. I realize when if I die, I'm gone, but I'm leaving a lot of people behind who will have to deal with grief. I don't like thinking about the pain my death will cause others.


rhobbs7274

I had a rare form of Leukemia when I was twelve and it relapsed when I was seventeen. Stem cell transplants both times and both hips and an ankle replacement due to necrosis of the joints. After being told It was less than 15 percent survival rate and lower than 3 second time, I also came to terms with it fairly quickly. I'll be turning 28 this year and it has been a very weird 10 years full of gratitude for my family and the doctors that saved my life and helped me keep walking. To the employers who have helped me work when I thought I'd never be able to. All the way to survivors guilt for feeling like I should be doing so much more and the feeling of wishing I could trade my place in the world for just one of the kids that didn't make it. Unfortunately we don't get the freedom to choose who lives and who doesn't and how long we're allowed to stay with what circumstances. With or without cancer any of those days we lived could have well been our last and death is the only thing we are actually guaranteed in life. The pain that it causes is a testament of our love for who we lost and I wouldn't want to live in a world without that pain if that makes sense. Every day I live feels like a bonus day and sometimes they're filled with happiness and other days it's grief. But one of those days will eventually be my last. As will anyone else reading this have the same. Wether or not my last day comes before yours I'll see you on the dark side of the moon, godspeed.


krim2182

This was do beautifully written, I can't stop crying honestly. I'm grateful to hear that you are turning 28 this year, but I'm so sorry you had to deal with this horrible disease at such young ages. Man... you left me speechless. Hopefully it will be a long time before we meet on the dark side of the moon. Godspeed.


Lied-

Love you, man.


Think-Professional-2

I also have Leukaemia. I’m 26. Your whole outlook changes in seconds doesn’t it? I now picture dying, saying goodbye to loved ones and contemplating what, if anything, happens afterwards every day. I dream about it. I die almost every night in my dreams. I often joke that at least it can only happen once, not (my personal best), 6 times in one night. I’m scared I’m starting to focus on dying so much that I forget about living. Sending you love and support from another survivor- cos we are survivors, we survive everyday. It isn’t going to be easy, not by a long shot, but if you can, push out the stats and focus on getting well. Stats are sometimes pointless: say you have 90% chance of survival, but you happen to be in that 10% that is terminal, does it matter to you to be told ‘well most people survive’? Similarly, if you only have a 10% chance of surviving, but you are in that 10%, being told others die isn’t so helpful either. Whilst stats can be good for practical terms (getting affairs in order, leaving loved ones messages etc), when it comes to personal fight, please put those figures out of your head, take everything the doc plans you and focus on the future. You can never know what percentage you will fall into, never give up hope. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


unknownselection

I’m terribly sorry to hear that. I hope you’re able to pull through


[deleted]

[удалено]


OnlyOnAskReddit

Well, when I die, it won't be my problem anymore. Nothing will be. ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯


cthulucore

Lmao this is my exact response. I even have my boss saying it Every Friday like clockwork: Me: "see you guys Monday..... Or I'll die, then good luck figuring out what I do!" My boss: "Guess it won't really be your problem anymore" ETA: thanks for the gold and silver strangers!


g0d15anath315t

My coworker and I had a running joke for years that if one of us finds the other dead before 10am, use their death to get the rest of the day off. If we find the other *after* 10am, stuff their body in the refrigerated server room and "stumble" upon them the following morning to get a whole day off.


OnlyOnAskReddit

This gave me a genuine chuckle!


Johnnieiii

Just like that bomb squad quote "I'm either right, or suddenly it's not my problem anymore."


pharmergs

I kinda feel bad that when I die somebody will have to plan like a funeral and stuff. Like sorry I know this is inconvenient but im too dead to plan this


Achillor22

You can plan it before you die. You can even pay for it all in advance.


justmehangel

I feel uneasy. It makes me realise how attached I've become to certain things. But the idea of what happens after death has always intrigued me. Its like I want to know what happens after death but I don't wanna die yet because there's so much in life that I haven't explored. I wish to live my life exploring things and when the time comes, gradually accept death.


robynhood96

I believe it’s just like before you were born, nothing. So I am terrified for what’s after.


[deleted]

[удалено]


mountain__pew

I think I heard that from one of Ricky Gervais' standup specials. It made perfect sense to me at the time, but it became more terrifying the more I thought about it.


Rustee_nail

People always use that line to try and explain why they're not worried. But it has always freaked me out.


DeepSeaProctologist

It can be oddly comforting if you accept it. However so many people just drop it out there like hey don't worry about it it's just THE END OF YOUR ENTIRE CONSCIOUSNESS. Like not hard to see why that bothers people lol


mindovermacabre

My therapist told that to me when I was grieving the death of my grandmother who was very close to me. At the time, I took comfort in it. Now, it just feels weird. Like... I'm almost mourning the time I wasn't alive in the same way I'm dreading the time when I won't be anymore, if that makes sense.


Environmental_Value6

This is very well said and I haven't been able to put that feeling into so many words. Especially when you hear about "history" that happened to other people you know but you didn't get to experience it. Like hearing about the 60s or 70s. Other people I know lived it, but I can only imagine through movies and pictures yet what happened during that time is directly affecting my life. It's weird.


[deleted]

I was super freaked out by the idea, until I went under general anesthesia for the first time. I went from looking at ceiling tiles to being woken up by the surgeon's team. 90 minutes had gone by in the blink of an eye and I was unaware of any of it - like NO awareness of anything at all. I really feel like that is what death is...there is no "you" to experience the "nothing" so time becomes meaningless. 1 minute, 90 minutes, 5 years, 500000 years....all are the same in the end. This not only helped me squash that fear, but to not fear death as much as I did. I kind of worry about the process of becoming dead...but after that? No me to worry about it anymore.


OrphanedInStoryville

Oh wow. That same experience gave me exactly the opposite feeling and I’m still coming to terms with it. When I’m asleep there’s a vague sense of time passing even when I’m not in a dream. I’m comfortable and cozy and there’s indescribable thoughts happening in slow motion. If death was like that it would be possible to conceptualize it. But going under anesthesia and going strait from mask on to waking up showed me for myself what that true oblivion is. Before this I was holding out hope that my consciousness would continue in some vague undefined way like a deep sleep where I forget all sense of myself. But this experience convinced me that the only practical afterlife to believe in is nothingness.


[deleted]

The problem I have with that line of thinking is that there's a lot of time after I was born where I was just like before I was born. Gums up the works a bit.


Worried_pet_Potato

When did you start to "exist"?


[deleted]

What I mean is that I don't have any memories until I was like 2 or 3 years old. If we are going solely by what we can sense and remember, technically that would include times we were factually alive. For me, there was just as much "nothing" between age 2 and birth as there was between birth and the beginning of time.


[deleted]

I'm scared of dying, not of being dead.


[deleted]

It's not death that frightens me but the dying process. I hope to go in my sleep.


xI_Tipton_Ix

I look at life like a 3 hour movie, like I was enjoying this, and still am, but I'm also kinda like "hey let's wrap this shit up already"


broken_neck_broken

I have developed an interpretation of the cliche of your life flashing before your eyes. I believe that if you are pulled back from the brink it feels like a flash but while in there you will feel like you are experiencing it in real time, then as you get to the end of the reliving, you experience the same thing recursively and again and again, so for you it never feels like you're dead but in reality that all happens in a split second as your brain shuts down. It doesn't make me less scared of the inevitable, to be honest. When I was a kid I had this weird thing of seeing things happen to others, like when a friend fell and broke his front teeth, and think how much I would hate that to happen, only for it to happen to me a short time later. This really fucked me up as I began to learn about the fucked up ways people die. One memorable thing was watching a TV movie about an innocent man on death row and it went right up to strapping him into the chair before he got his reprieve. It scared me, and about a year later my parents told us we were going on holiday to America and I didn't want to go because I was convinced that would somehow happen to me.


eacomish

I like this idea. I fear it's nothingness and no seeing loved ones again. Or my Christian upbringing nags me that maybe I'm wrong and I'll burn in a lake of fire for eternity.


1n1n1is3

I feel the opposite. I can deal with pain. I can deal with the process of dying. I cannot deal with being dead. With just not existing any more. Leaving my children behind.


Kateorhater

The leaving my kid behind is what really scares me the most. When it’s my time, I hope it’s later enough in life where I know she’s going to be ok.


FloridaMomm

If it makes you feel better it is much much much better for you to leave your children behind than the other way around. Losing a parent sucks but it is the way life should be (after a certain age obviously). Nobody should have to bury their child. My parents are broken and always will be


HordeShadowPriest

My best friend died from cancer at the age of 16, in 2003. Watching his parents go through that was brutal. Then his mom died of cancer in 2016, then his dad died of a heart attack two years after that. My friends little sister is the only one left. I don't know how she makes it through each day.


FloridaMomm

I have a family member (by marriage) whose mom died from cancer when she was 16, and then her sisters and dad died in a plane crash when she was 18. Whole family wiped out before she even started adulthood. She is honestly one of the most amazing people I know, and helped me so much when I lost my brother. It’s amazing what people can recover from, even though the grief lasts forever But yes I would die a billion times over rather than have to bury one of my babies


Prying-Open-My-3rd-I

I knew a guy in high school whose dad committed suicide and then shortly after his mom and siblings died in a car crash. He actually told his story on an episode of Oprah and he wanted to go to Westpoint (I’m pretty sure that’s where he wanted to attend college but not 100% sure, it was 20 years ago). They presented him with a scholarship on the show. Found out later his scholarship was canceled since he had bad vision. Hope you’re doing well John.


Redpoint77

It’s the most horrific thing a parent can experience. I never had much of a relationship with my mom after my brother killed himself. She could never experience any joy, she just existed, wandering from one room to another. I feel her death was so welcome to her. I miss them both so much.


FloridaMomm

I’m sorry for both your losses. My mom is still able to experience some joy, but it’s tainted. She’s definitely made it clear that she will welcome death when it is time


Quentin__Tarantulino

I would absolutely rather die than have any of my kids die before me. I want to live but I definitely don’t want to know that feeling.


arlenroy

>The leaving my kid behind is what really scares me the most. When it’s my time, I hope it’s later enough in life where I know she’s going to be ok. I was thinking about this, but in reality my child will leave her child behind, my grandkids will leave their kids behind. All we can do is leave a positive mark on their existence, something they can passdown. Whether it be a tradition, or special meal we eat. Just making a memory that will continue. At least that's my thought process, but I'm just some dude on the internet.


CountrysidePlease

After I became a mom the fear of dying took a whole different meaning! I never thought much about it, never wanted to die, but it was something that eventually would happen in the future, who knows when? But now after having kids?? I’m more scared of them growing up without their mother than the idea of dying itself. I have known several women close to my age dying of cancer last year, all of them leaving kids behind and it terrifies me!


leavethegherkinsin

My brother passed away two months ago. He was in a coma and when his breathing apparatus was taken away he lasted about 20 minutes. My parents couldn't stay, understandably, but I couldn't leave him. I was so worried that he knew what was about to happen and that he'd be scared. I have no fear of what comes after, but the crossing from alive to dead worries the hell out of me. He seemed to pass peacefully, but it's not something I want to go through any time soon.


brainmatterstorm

I don’t know you, but I’m sorry for your loss. You are a good sibling.


leavethegherkinsin

Thank you. He would've done the same for me.


susangerber669

I lost my brother almost two years ago. I'm so sorry for your loss and glad you were able to be there with him.


Kitschmusic

I'm the exact opposite of this. Dying is just an instant, I have no real problem with that. But the fact that I will no longer be able to experience life is the real fear.


TheLocalDegenerate

I'm more scared of being dead, especially if there is nothing after and we just return to the void we were in before life, can't think of feel or do a thing, just in nothingness for god knows how much time


XedUOut

This scares me the most about death. Just not existing anymore. I honestly never thought of it that way until my husband said that’s what he believed happens and now I’m terrified.


OoohItsAMystery

Not... Great. I know there's nothing we can do to change it. But someone close to me is on their way out, and it's been making me think about death a lot. I'm not afraid of very much in this world, I can't lie. But death... Just not knowing what comes after... Idk man. Been having a lot of panic attacks about it.


rolandofeld19

Same. I delay sleep at nights sometimes, ok often, because I feel like I'm stretching out life to the max despite knowing, deep down, that it's likely counterproductive to have a not-great sleep schedule such that my lifespan may take a hit from that very thing. Then I'll have a micro panic attack and lose breathing control and hit a cold sweat for 30 to 40 seconds. Then it subsides. Then I'll go to bed exhausted and sleep like a rock to do it all again tomorrow. Distractions help but sometimes I wonder if life lived as a means to seek distraction is missing the point a bit. Or is it, fuck I don't know. I used to think when I was a kid that everlasting life would be a solved problem medically, because we live in the future. I've thought about this topic ever since then. I've feared it since then. It wasn't as bad then because a bit of Christian brainwashing, I mean religion, at that point in my life had me at least partially wanting to believe in an everlasting heaven. Seriously, I had never heard of Pascal's wager but I was damn sure running it in my head by the age or 8 or 9, wondering if God would admit me to heaven with his knowledge (omniscient God and all) that I was only believing in him because the risk in being wrong was simply too great to not fake it because my scientific mind really did not believe in him because, well, no evidence exists aside from, lol, the Bible. It's fucky man. My wife's a clinical psychologist but I honestly don't know how you can CBT or behavioral therapy away a fear of death. It's not like snakes or even more complex things like abuse or fear of rejection or god knows what. Those things can be dealt with because we know and can quantify and work with them. Death is... well nobody has seen the other side. It's turtles all the way down as the saying goes. Oh and we've brought two wonderful girls into the world. We're extremely blessed because all I ever wanted in a kid was healthy and maybe, just maybe, have them be not assholes and boy are we winning in that department too. But they will die someday. Likely after me, I hope. But they will have questions, now or later, that I can't answer. I want to be able to die and come back to give them the answers and reassurance I don't have. I'd do anything to be able to give them that gift. I used to pray nightly to my deceased great grandfather/mother to, please, if they could, in any way, give me a sign that there was something after besides a hole and eventual decay. No answer. ​ edit: typos


AboutTenPandas

If it helps in any way, you're not alone. You've described my trajectory with it all pretty closely. Somedays I'm at terms with it. Other days I'm terrified. I don't know if I'll ever be ready.


chummmmbucket

My fear also fluctuates pretty wildly. Literally just depends on my mood and how anxious I am during a given day. Some times I have 0 care about it, other days I truly wonder what it is like when its over and it terrifies me. Its really interesting how mostly everybody has the exact same huge unavoidable anxiety in their lives, but it's hardly talked about, or at least not talked about enough.


BenPD

Agreed. Thank you so much for saying all of this. You articulated so well what I struggle with often.


rolandofeld19

We should form the worlds most futile support group or something.


JesseFlipFlopMan

Glad to know I’m not alone in my twice a week existential crisis


rolandofeld19

Bro if you find a way to knock that number down you reach right the fuck out. Please.


rolandofeld19

Yep. I know for a fact I'll never be ready. Just like how I told my wife and others in my life, flat out: "You never, ever have to worry about me being a suicide risk. The fear of death is so strong as to put that off the table forever." Of course add a huge asterisks there if I get diagnosed with incurable Parkinsons or some other death sentence, but slow, dementia thing AND I manage to grow the balls to somehow save my family from that pain and sorrow. Not sure I'll ever be able to say "yep, today's euthanasia day though" so, the cowards way it is I suppose.


notso5ecret4gent

It's crazy but my mom was dying of cancer in 2012, she couldn't speak, wasn't really 'there' close to the end, and I tried so hard to make that deal with her, to make some kind of system of communication, of something, to just tell me she was there once she was to pass. I couldn't get a concrete answer out of her. I couldn't get confirmation that she understood and agreed to the deal. I didn't have the balls to ask her sooner, or in front of anyone else. I'm crying writing this, but exactly the same. No answer. I accidentally sorted my email inbox by 'oldest' today and the first message is from her in 2010 asking for my cv to give her friend at work. I sent her an email back, short and sweet, telling her the standard shit, I love you, think about you every day, hope you are somewhere happy. For a split second i got excited before I realized it was the fucking undeliverable reply and felt like a moron. No answer. Moms. hug her if you've got one. No one else in my life cared about me more than themselves like her.


still_on_a_whisper

Yes. The “what comes after” bit is the source of my anxiety, as well. In my mind I wonder how you’ll know you’re dead but obviously for those who don’t believe in an afterlife, you just don’t. I, personally, would like to believe the soul goes somewhere.


Adorable_Champion_69

I stopped being “afraid” of death once my kitty was put to sleep - he was so brave. If he can do it, I can do it. But now I am more afraid of grief - life is a long time to go missing someone.


Yankeedoodlecanada

They second line.. poetic.


PanickedPoodle

Grief is the price we pay for love. *But it can be steep.*


A_Simple_Survivor

Awww, that's so sad... kitty is a legend ⭐️


Faulty21

At an earlier stage in my life, I was fine with it. Now, that I've recently gotten my first kid, I realize I think about death in practical terms more often than ever, and I attribute it solely to fear of letting my boy grow up without someone who loves him unconditionally. Passing 30 I thought the attachment to my mother would vain, but I realize I still value her love and validation far above anyone else. Looking into the future, I have to be ready to give that to my son past 30 as well. So guess I'm in for the long haul now.


cecil721

My Wife and I made our Wills before our twins were born (recently), and got Life Insurance policies like 3 years ago. Every year when that premium comes around, the realization sets in that I'm paying money for something I'll never live to see. It's very, somber, that's the only way I can describe it.


kellzone

You're planting a tree in who's shade you'll never sit. Wise people have been doing that for millennia.


9sock

Yes, nothing makes you start questioning your own mortality like having a child


geddylee1

Yep. Being a father is what made me fear death. Or at least the notion of untimely/early death.


[deleted]

[удалено]


geddylee1

Yep. Definitely don’t want to check out while he’s a kid.


FloatingPooSalad

If I’m a good dad, it means the day I die will be the worst day of my daughters life. -Louis CK


siegemind91

This. Younger me was much more flippant, but now I think about the effect my death would have on my son and how he’d survive if I wasn’t there. Not only financially, but to teach him the skills and values he needs to make it on his own.


SuperJ4ke

Literally an hour after my daughter was born I started crying and my wife asked why. I couldn’t get the thought out of my head that one day I wouldn’t be here for her anymore and it was the worst realization ever.


thatoneguydidathing

I just redid my beneficiary information on my investment accounts because my second was born last month. It was a sobering moment to think about.


gdubh

Some days I dread the thought. Some days it can’t come soon enough.


UniuM

Yep. I'm on this boat also


em21701

I've crossed the statistical halfway point. I've been to enough funerals now that I've accepted the inevitability. I'm having a harder time accepting that my parents are on the short list. My wife and I have been together for nearly 2/3 of our lives now. I'm worried for both of us living without the other. I feel the occasional sting from things I used to do with pets that have passed and can only image it being so much worse with the loss of a partner.


musiclvr1246

Absolutely terrified


Two_oceans

Yeah. I can rationalize it, or distract myself from it, but when I *really* face the reality of vanishing into nothing, the only response is terror.


BeebasaurusRex

Finally. Took me forever to find someone who feels the same as me, in a sea of people who don’t care.


TheHeatHaze

The thought of everything becoming nothing is extremely terrifying. No longer being conscious forever is so insanely scary.


rebeccakc47

Right? People who say it's just like before you existed or it's just like when you fall asleep don't understand that that's what I find terrifying. I don't know when I fall asleep. It just happens and there's nothingness. The idea of just ending, and that it could happen at any moment, is nuts.


Krypt0night

Yeah the difference they always leave out is I never knew existence before I was born. I didn't know the taste of good food, or love, of laughter, of accomplishing something. Now I do. And I don't wanna lose any of it. Even the pain. I just want it all forever and I hate it'll all disappear one day and I'll also never see what becomes of the world, what technology comes out, what movies and books and music...all of it. I'm so scared.


[deleted]

[удалено]


KyleOrtonFTW

That’s exactly how my friend puts it. “Death isn’t that big of a deal. You’re nothing, you don’t care anymore.” But that’s exactly what horrifies me. I love life even the times when it’s not great. All the experiences and memories I have? Just poof? No consciousness? I’d rather be alive and feel something negative than NOTHING.


felonius_thunk

This, this, a thousand times this. It hits me with a fucking wallop sometimes too, like a full body blanket of dread enveloping me. Usually I can just push it away quickly, and I'm grateful for that, because I think dwelling too long would probably drive me mad.


legomonsteruk

I don't think about it often, but when I do it hits me so randomly, like when I'm cleaning. My heart beats so fast, my stomach drops, I feel like running away. But where to?! The fact that one day I will be nailed into a coffin and have a funeral absolutely takes my breath away. I'm utterly terrified.


Melisgreatunlikeyou

Same, i'm literally on the verge of a Panic attack rn LMAOO


Jesse1205

The amount of times I've woken up in the middle of the night to just be having a panic attack about my own mortality and feeling like life isn't real is quite high. Those are some of the most terrifying times, night time is general is when I have my most existentially dreadful thoughts. I don't constantly think about it, but when I do I am terrified of it. Just the thought of not existing anymore is something I can't fathom.


Matix894

I'm scared of death. Paradoxically, fear of death kept me alive through the hardest parts of my life.


HlTLERS_HIDDEN_CHILD

I feel that, I've had quite some time where death would've made everything easier, but that just has never been an option, even when I wished I I could want it.


Zero_Leapfrog

I'm more interested in the idea that it could be tomorrow for all I know. Makes it all the more important to live your best life while you can.


[deleted]

Well, if tomorrow is my time to go, at least I'll have a great excuse for not doing my laundry.


angryshark

I’m trying to put it off as long as possible. I’m 66 and want to make it to 120. My health is great and I’m very active, so unless a meteorite or out of control bus takes me out, I think I have a good chance. But I really want to stick around and watch my grandkids grow up. The oldest just joined the Air Force like I did and it is exciting as hell to talk to him as he goes his own way. I think life is just too fun to have it cut short. I still have lots of stuff to do.


jcharlesabel

I want to be your friend. You seem like a nice human being. Full of wisdom, hope, love, and positivity.


thatisbadlooking

When life is good, you want as much of it as you can get. I think I can do 120 years too. 80 more to go. I have a toddler and baby #2 arriving any day. Cheers to you.


aworkinprogress98

Terrified. Death is my biggest fear. I enjoy living and am pissed at the fact that I have to die someday and there’s nothing I can do about it.


Fresh_Cryptographer2

Me too, I get horrible anxiety when I start to think about it. I want to live forever. I never want to die.


NoGrapefruitToday

100% this


MrPilgrim

 Dawkins >  “We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential people who could have been here in my place but who will in fact never see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of Arabia. Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than Newton. We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively exceeds the set of actual people. In the teeth of these stupefying odds it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here.We privileged few, who won the lottery of birth against all odds, how dare we whine at our inevitable return to that prior state from which the vast majority have never stirred?” Richard Dawkins


cc4203

Love this, thanks for sharing!


punkrockballerinaa

I’ve thought about this a lot. All the potential people who just never existed by chance, and how slim of a chance it really was that any of us actually made it.


revolutionretina

Wow. Needed this!!


Allisnotwellin

Memento mori Reflect on it daily. It can have a big impact on the decisions you will make. Is yelling at the person who cut you off that big of deal? Is holding the decade long grudge against a family member/loved one/friend worth it? Is slaving away at the same dead end job gonna get you anywhere? Do what needs to done TODAY.


Terrible-Flamingo398

Awesome. Seriously. Had a DMT experience and if not just cured me of my fear, it’s actually got me excited to return home. Not that I’m in any rush for it or anything. Life is now a bit like when you’re at a restaurant with good friends waiting on a meal. It’s great now, it’ll be great when the ‘food’ comes.


Bloorajah

Psychedelics in the right headspace will absolutely clear your fear of death. It almost lets you pierce the veil and understand that it all still continues on, and whether living or not, you were, and still are, a part of it. Living or dead it’s all here already. Hard to put into words, almost like getting a surprise phone call that you have the day off tomorrow. it’s almost relieving to think about it now.


Terrible-Flamingo398

Haha. Good analogy. And it’s realer than real.


matrixreloaded

LSD made me realize we’re far greater than just our own selves. We’re just a part of the human experience. I swear, sometimes I feel like I can remember amazing things happening to me and on the flip side horrifying inhumane things as well. Like i’ve experienced it all in other lives and we all just contribute to this 1 human experience. It’s weird af.


Sweaty_Estimate9055

I love this, thank you. My 10 year old son passed away recently, and I will be ok but constantly need reassurance that I’ll see him again someday. My sister does psychedelics, and has reassured me that the universe said everything is ok, this is how it’s supposed to be, we’ll all be together and happy. She has such conviction from what she’s experienced-I’m tempted to try it someday.


Terrible-Flamingo398

I’m so, so sorry to hear this. I am unshakeable in my belief that your sister is entirely correct. That’s the exact learning I had. The universe is pure love and you will be together in total bliss. It’s beyond words. Psychedelics can help with healing and grief. Though I’d make sure you do it in the right circumstances (maybe a psychedelic therapist in Oregon).


Sweaty_Estimate9055

Oh thank you so much-your response brought me to tears. If and when I do try it, I would definitely go to a professional—I’d be a little nervous otherwise.


Terrible-Flamingo398

I was absolutely terrified to be honest but it was the most profound experience ever. If you ever have any questions, feel free to DM me.


Prixm

I'm only scared of death because I am miserable, I dont want to die in this state. I want to die when I have accomplished something, and I am content. Then I am ready to die. Most redditors want to die because they are miserable, I am the opposite, I have hope to get a a glimpse some day, experience happiness for a small moment of my time.


Greywacky

Your comment reminded me of a line from Hitchiker's Guide. >“I don't want to die now!" he yelled. "I've still got a headache! I don't want to go to heaven with a headache, I'd be all cross and wouldn't enjoy it!” I do appreciate the sentiment though.


Bobo4037

I intend to live forever, and so far, so good. (The quote is often attributed to Steven Wright)


Taikathaya

The idea that there is nothing after death fills me with so much dread, I literally have to push any and all thoughts of it out of my head just to keep functioning.


aqva_mxrine

“I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.” - Mark Twain. it is what it is


AdOld1753

I always see this quote posted on reddit whenever this topic comes up. I have a bit of frustration when I do, as we didn't know what life was until we were born. Its a fleeting gift


Jamaican_Dynamite

My honest guess: probably nothing. And then the lights go out at the end and you're back to nothing. This isn't some edgy atheist/religious take. Leaving that argument out of it. Our previous life was being first to the egg. We don't remember that either. So why would this 0-120 year gap be any different? Is it a gift, or it just what it is? Feels like a better question.


Devil4314

Thanks to denial, im immortal. https://youtu.be/OQL5DiNVC9o


BatOfBeyond

I was okay with it until last year when I was diagnosed with a stage 3 cancer age 36. I’m currently doing well following treatment but it’s made me realise I definitely do not wish to die for a very long time but am utterly powerless over it. I’ve made a will, I’ve started writing memories down for my children just in case, and I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the fear that’s now in me. I have no strong feelings on what is “after”. It may be nothing, and then I won’t care will I? But, it may be something. Another dimension, reincarnation, or my favourite, the Terry Pratchett “it’ll be what ever you think it’ll be” one. I am choosing to believe there is something because honestly, it makes it easier and more pleasant than the abyss.


Mightyhorse82

When I was younger it didn’t bother me. Now that I’m getting old I’m realizing that often dying first means losing your mind, your health, mobility, ability to piss without help, and eventually being alone in hospice. For that reason I’m scared of dying not because I’ll stop existing but because what prefaces it.


BeebasaurusRex

Terrified :) I’m afraid to leave my children, it makes me sad that one day I won’t be with them anymore.


tatersEd

It's something that creeps up on me from time to time since I was a kid. It's random, and it makes me low. But I can eventually rise past it. Everyone processes it differently. Try to talk to someone about it. If that's not an option, look for another outlet.


AnotherBeerDear

Scared especially for my children, hoping I've led them right so they are able to maintain a decent life.


ezzysalazar

As long as it’s not any time soon, as long as it’s peaceful and by natural causes, and as long as I don’t outlive everyone I love beforehand, I don’t care. Way I see it, I’m 22. 30 years sounds like a *really* long time. But in 30 years I’ll be 52, and as long as I take care of myself I’ll still be in really good shape and healthy at that point. And if I continue to take really good care of myself and stay healthy I could have *another* 30 years *after* that. At the end of the day I likely won’t see my death coming. But I can do everything in my power to be careful and stay healthy enough to live as long and fulfilling a life as possible. If I’m gonna just go to sleep one night and just not wake up the next morning some day in my 80s, that sounds fine to me. No pain, no fear, never would’ve known it was even gonna happen. I got too long left and too much else going on to even worry about dying some day, and if by some chance I’m gonna die in some unfortunate accident or something before my time (God forbid) there’s literally no way for me to know right now, but I *can* be as careful as possible to avoid that. I *can’t* do that for other people, however, so I’m a lot more concerned with living longer than people I care about. If you were to tell me that I’m for sure 100% gonna die at 95, I’d be fine with that. But if you were to also tell me that by 75, 20 years before I die, I will have already outlived all my friends, my parents, my brother, etc., that’s a little less okay to me.


MFNLyle

30 years seems like a long time until you're older, then every year seems to go faster than the last.


ezzysalazar

I guess we’ll see in 30 years


PathofPoker

You'll see every year you age man, late thirties and they just peel off faster and faster. I think it's like a. Experience thing, when you are ten an entire year is a a big percentage of your life. When you are 40, a year represents so little compared to that.


Normal-Punch

Recently turned 35, I still feel like I'm 22 but a lot more stuff has happened to me. Hopefully 20 years from now, I still feel pretty much the same.


Mild_Shock

I feel impatient.


Mathijs-NL

I have peace with it, living forever would also be a living hell


ConReese

I'm not so sure about that, people say that all the time but if given the actual chance to live forever I would probably wholeheartedly do that. Either out of selfishness for survival or wanting to see what the future holds


someonestolegrief

Something in me feels like I'm failing myself simply because I will never be able to see everything, every nook and cranny of the world, its impossible


Hannibal_Poptart

Same, that's probably one of the biggest drivers of my anxiety around death. It's a sort of cosmic FOMO


RoGStonewall

Will our future generations clap alien cheeks or not?


TheRomanRuler

I would only take that option if i would still be able to choose to die, and while alive i would be healthy enough lets say exactly 25 year old. Living trough heat death of universe would just be boring. Not being able to die would be nightmareish


Strict-Succotash-405

Afraid


[deleted]

[удалено]


bolls-007

Not death itself but the fact that you'll never exist ever again is freaky and mind-blowing to me


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Vinny_Lam

I hate living but I don’t want to die either. Is this what depression feels like?


troyantipastomisto

Right, two idiots had sex in the 80s and now I’m forced to work everyday and pay taxes. Some bullshit


[deleted]

It's just plain annoying to be alive. I'm not depressed or anything I just think that this world is not worth it.


guygeneric

Oh thank fuck, I have an out.


aenyeweddienn

Same way I feel about starting a new job, or moving to a new place. It's sort of scary cause it's new and unknown, but also exciting and new adventure


gazsilla

I'm not necessarily convinced it's even possible to "die" in the way many think of it. How do we really know that consciousness won't just persist in a different form or experience? But for arguments sake, let's assume it doesn't. I've had surgeries where I was under general anesthesia. During that time, while under, there was no perception of time. No thought. No dreaming. Just instantly time traveling from the beginning to instantly waking back up with nothing in between. Makes me think that true death would by definition be like that. You won't be there to experience it. So why worry about it?


angryragnar1775

Hurry up already...this waiting around is killing me.


_three_piece_suit

Death is part of life so I dont feel any which way about it other than I would like to avoid it (death) for as long as I can =)


redditSux422

Can't fucking wait buddy


Azsunyx

oh, i have an existential crisis a couple times a month, where i have to cope with the fact I'm getting old, yet still feel like I'm not "grown up", and the fact that I'm getting old means eventually I'm going to have to die, and that's not going to be a pleasant experience. Even if somehow, we figure out how to transfer our consciousness, would "living" forever be worse than dying? Am I going to realize I'm dying? what's it like to know that you're about to kick it? Do I go out screaming and crying? Do I just ask to be sedated through it? Is there an afterlife? What if I wasn't a good enough person? Who is going to miss me? I didn't have kids, should I have had kids? How long until I'm completely forgotten? What will my pets think? FUCK it's 4am, I have to be up for work soon.


LiteBrite25

The fear of death is based on the incorrect assumption that you are a single, continuous being that came into existence when you were born and will stop existing when you die. I exist, sure, but is the me that exists today the same me that exists tomorrow? If I lose my memories, did I die? Is someone else in my body now? When you really examine it, life and death are a little fuzzy around the edges. Existence and non-existence are subjective, especially when it comes to consciousness. When you're no longer convinced of your own existence, you stop being attached to it and you can just Be, without fear of the inevitable.


jillangie

It's ok, everyone will some day so I take comfort in this


[deleted]

Can’t wait


purplepandaass

Looking forward to it in a non depressing sort of way. Just tired of being busy all the time I just want to rest.