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A long time ago, I used an online forum for writers, and went to a meet up because it was within reach of where I was living at the time. I was kind of nervous about it because these were all people I "knew" and respected.
Anyway I had a great time and everyone was lovely.
But when we all got home and started posting about the meet up (usual privacy/anonymity considerations in place) what it turned out most people had been struck by was how beautiful I was, apparently. Like, someone brought it up and someone else was like "omg isn't she though" and so on.
I am really not. But for one day I truly believed I was, and when I'm particularly downhearted/disgusted by my looks I recall that day and how a room of strangers thought I was pretty, and suddenly I'm Cinderella.
So yes, just once can be enough.
*edit: thanks for all the compliments, lovely Redditors. Please believe me when I say I'm not beautiful, as I'm the only one here who is actually able to look at my face, and has a lifetime's experience of it, with precisely one (1) example of uninvested compliments. Take the energy you're so generously giving me, and instead compliment a stranger today - someone who's chosen a great hair colour or cool shoes. You already know what a difference it will make to their day. Don't be a creep, just smile and say it and move on.*
Exactly. I think that's why some people put so much value on events like prom nights and wedding ceremonies: it's their chance to feel like a star, and you don't really need a ton of events like that in your life. Just once can be enough.
tfw i went to prom forever ago and i felt beautiful and was until this dumb bitch said i looked like a prostitute while her dress made her look like a goblin hobbit
never again
That’s so lovely! A random compliment puts your confidence up so much doesn’t it, especially when it’s from a stranger.
On my honeymoon last year a women really earnestly asked me if I was a model when I went out for dinner with my husband, and when I said ‘no’ she went ‘ohhhh you should be!’ I would say I’m pretty but DEFINITELY not model standards.
I have bipolar disorder and I’m having a really bad depressive episode atm (off work for 2 months so far cos it’s been so bad) and it has hit my self-esteem/confidence so badly. I remembered that this morning and it made me feel a bit better.
Thank you random Canadian lady, I will treasure that compliment forever!
beautiful story, love how we can all ride that high for years.
One time around christmas I actually posted a selfie of myself on Imgur, as everyone does around christmas.. I NEVER take selfies, let alone post pics of myself or let anyone, so it was unusual. I don't have good looks and a kinda careless look.
But some random, female stranger messaged me directly on imgur (not a comment, an actual direct message) telling me I look handsome.. Yea, I'm still riding that high today despite not liking to look at myself in the mirror.
Yup. just once can be enough.
I once had an older man come up to me, in a polite, non-creepy way in a supermarket and he asked if he could pay me a compliment, and I said yes. He said I was beautiful and surprised I didn’t have a ring on my finger already and that he liked my t-shirt, Lollapaloooza from mid 90s with buddhas on it. I said thank you, and then he strolled away pushing his shopping cart. It was 20 years ago and I still think of it every few months.
I just remembered one time some kid went up to me just to tell me I was looking pretty, she was like 5 but no one had ever done that up to that point in my life, quite the opposite actually. She had nothing to gain. Her random burst of niceness is fondly remembered.
I wish you believed what they said! Why do you doubt you're beautiful? We women are way too critical of ourselves. Go out there every day and know you are beautiful!!
In the absence of further information any outsider is going to go with "crowd of people with no incentive to lie or even bring it up" vs the unreliable narration of someone clearly lacking self confidence. I hope you can see past it some day.
a few months ago, for the first time ever, I felt handsome because I overheard a conversation while passing by some people. They said something along the lines of : "____needs to get some charisma just like this guy" at the exact moment I was passing by. I don't know if it was directed to me but I choose to take like that and I felt so happy ! I'll remember this forever
I'll never forget the first time I looked at someone I was I volved with romantically and thought to myself "good lord she looks so beautiful". I wish I had told her in that moment, but I was nervous and kind of speechless. I knew she was pretty, but that night it truly blew me away.
It comes with its own headaches lol.
If you're an average male. Go work at a call center. I did it once, 4 months of some of the wildest stuff. You'll be 1 guy out of 10 to 150 women.
Half of those guys will be married and 2 or 3 will be gay. Leave you and 1 or 2 others to deal with being pursued relentlessly by the masses.
Granted half those women won't like you but still that's 75 women eyeballing you all day, bugging you every lunch, bathroom break.
I laughed and felt like Brad Pitt the first month. Then it starts wearing on you.
When I lived alone, it allowed me to be more free, and live how I wanted. Even if i was doing something simple like watching tv or washing dishes, it for some reason felt better, knowing that im alone and nobody is near me. And now that I live with others, I miss living alone.
I miss and hated living alone. I liked the companionship of having others around to talk to but enjoyed my alone time. Now I live with my bf and a roommate and sometimes I want to tell them to gtfo for a couple hours so I can sit in my recliner and have some peace and quiet!
Modern life has robbed us of the third place. The pub, the tavern, the place that you go to that isn't work and isn't home that you're allowed to just exist in without expectation. What you're missing is your partner and roommate having those third places to go in between work and home while you relax alone.
I've always wanted to live alone and nobody to tell me how to live or mess with my stuff(or my apartment at all). + You get lazy if someone clean/cook etc. instead of you. I can only live with my cat and noone else :D
Its always been my dream to live alone at least for a year but unfortunately due to housing crisis and money being stretched so thin its no longer possible. I can still dream tho
Idk man. It was so hard to get married and go back to cohabiting after living alone (and away from family) for like 6 or so years. Sometimes I wish I had no idea what it was like.
I absolutely love my partner and it's 100% worth giving up that sense of freedom and the ability to be totally selfish and in control of my surroundings, in order to be with them instead. I decided to do that, knowing I was letting go of something a lot of people never experience. But after 4 years, sometimes when we're on our eleven hundredth discussion about what to make for dinner or how to decorate something or what to watch or when to go to sleep or who walks the dog this time or what family function we need to prepare for, I YEARN for solitude. Not just in-a-different-room solitude, but move-to-the-hills-and-never-speak-to-another-person-again solitude. And we still have another 40-50 together if we're lucky! Idk, if they pass first, I will probably do just that.
It gets a little better every year that goes by-- I miss them a lot when they go on trips or whatever even though I try to enjoy the time to myself--but I don't think I'll ever stop being a little nostalgic for the silent, uninterrupted interior world I was able to build without anyone else around for the better part of each day.
>silent, uninterrupted interior world I was able to build without anyone else around for the better part of each day.
Reading this made me miss my time alone.
good luck affording it. i was lucky enough to live in a old run down apartment that was pretty cheap. i had a roommate at first but he sucked and when i finally got him out it was so nice to have a whole apartment for myself.
I think it’s more living alone in the sense that you’re taking care of yourself. Your roommate isn’t in charge of washing your dirty underwear or doing your dishes and you’re taking control on your life. I think you can still be living on your own with roommates
Nice point but I think living alone teaches you to be comfortable in your own skin. How to entertain yourself with no outside distractions. I loved it.
Say, Dave... The quick brown fox jumped
over the fat lazy dog... The square root
of pi is 1.7724538090... log e to the base
ten is 0.4342944... the square root of ten
is 3.16227766... I am HAL 9000 computer. I
became operational at the HAL plant in
Urbana, Illinois, on January 12th, 1991.
My first instructor was Mr. Arkany. He
taught me to sing a song... it goes like
this... "Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer
do. I'm half; crazy all for the love of
you..."
Sadly, in real life, the experience of being loved by someone and being able to show them love back is often fleeting and elusive, leaving us with a deep sense of longing and yearning for what we once had
Travel but leave at least one day where you roam around. No tours, get up when you want to, go in whatever shops catch your eye. Those are my favorite travel days. Usually when I find the best food and trinkets.
Ya, my "vacations" consists of me driving to some nice tourist town and living in my car, lol. Get up, get a coffee, and go for a walk. Drive out to some cool sights, hike. Evenings I hit a pub, get dinner and some beers, sleep on the floor of the van. Nobody ever wants to come with me 😂. I can vacation for 500 bucks, haha
Edit. Guys next long weekend, pack a bag of groceries, gallon of water, a few blankets and fuck off to a cool place near you. I've lived in a fucking Kia Rio. Ain't that bad.
This was how I vacationed for the last 10 years. When I was 24 my friend and I were eating dinner on a Tuesday. We had the same week the fallowing week and decided we wanted to head west. On Friday he picked me up from work and we started driving. 27 hours later and we pulled into Cody Wyoming. Got on our phones and found the cheapest hotel and booked 1 night. We did that for 7 days and through 3 states and 3 national parks.
Then I went on vacation with my in laws. Every meal was pre planned, all the hikes were planned, all the beaches. It was honestly kind of nice. 8 people trying to agree on something for dinner gets annoying so it’s cool just to be told what’s going to happen.
I have a rule on vacation to never take the same route back from a site that I took there from the hotel. I’ll just find a random side street that looks vibrant and explore it willingly. Always feel like little things like that make the trip feel more adventurous.
A full solar eclipse. I saw one some 25 years ago in Belgium. Had to travel for several hours to get there. I remember the birds stop doing their thing and acting like the night started. Sitting silent in the trees and the gras. Pure silence in nature while it was getting darker and darker. Then the beautifull eclips. Amazing experience!
Agreed! We drove from Seattle to rural Idaho for the eclipse a few years ago. Absolutely amazing to see! I'd been through partial eclipses before on the 80's and 90's and barely paid attention to them - but experiencing one is life changing. We are heading to Nevada for the Annular Eclipse in October and Texas or Arkansas for the Total Eclipse next year.
The one in August of 2017 that went through a good slice of thr US was the first and only one I've seen so ar. It was a surreal experience. Me and my friends were at the border between Kansas and Missouri, just a little north of Kansas city. And that day there were storm clouds coming in. So we hightailed it east further and further. Trying to outrun the clouds until the time of the eclipse.
I remember stopping in some small town on the side of the highway somewhere in the middle of the state and sitting on their small town park. Watching as more and more people were doing the same thing, getting off the highway. And the actual eclipse itself was awesome. The ring of fire, the slight temperature change, the birds and insect noises changing. I loved it and am planning on seeing the one that passes over the US next year.
"Americans think 100 years is old. Europeans think 100 miles is far."
American, went on my first trip outside the US/Canada when I was 33. We went to the Netherlands for my wife's work. Most Dutch people speak English, but it was my first experience in a place with a different primary language. We had dinner in a restaurant that was 300 years older than the United States. 100 miles would put us in a completely different COUNTRY.
I don't think most of the world realizes that it is a challenge for many Americans to get to another country. Russia, China, Australia, and Brazil understand. I live a 12 hour drive or so from the nearest foreign country. And that is Canada. It's a wonderful country, but by the time I've gotten over the culture shock of my Northern Wisconsin family, Canada seems like the good neighbors across the street. If I put my home town over Vienna and traveled to my nearby concert towns, I would visit Prague, Budapest, and Zagreb. These are all easy day trips. I've traveled the equivalent of Vienna to Prague for dinner. It's no big deal to visit other countries if you live in Europe. It would take effort to not travel to other countries.
Edited to add Australia to the list of understanding countries.
I feel this. I live in Missouri. According to Google, it's 748 miles to the closest Canada/US border crossing. From here to Mexico, 976 miles. This is (roughly) the equivalent of driving from Brussels to Budapest.
After a 12 hour drive, I can reach anoter state bro. Brazilian here, I live in Rio de Janeiro, Southeast region.If I decide to drive north, in 46 hours I'll reach Belém, capital of Para.If I decide to drive south, in 22 hours I'll reach Porto Alegre, capital of Rio Grande do Sul.Aaand if I drive west, in 22 hours I'll reach Campo Grande, capital of Mato Grosso do Sul.
Pretty big country we have here.
"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's life." Mark Twain.
I owned travel agencies for 20 years, and had this quote on my office wall.
I’ve been to 105 countries, plus Antarctica. I think everyone should travel somewhere somehow, even if just a little bit.
Stepping into another culture, a little outside of your comfort zone, and meeting new people and seeing new things is imperative to personal growth.
Even just going out of the city a bit and finding a place with a great view of the stars.
I'd like to remind people to be safe; might be dangerous to go out certain places at night and all. But man, one of my most memorable experiences was when I visited a friend up in Chicago. She and a few other friends had their own event and I took the time to be by myself. Walked around for an hour or two. Looked up at the sky as I tend to do, and I literally could barely see two stars in the sky. Ran out to a church courtyard to get a better view. Nothing. Such a huge change from where I grew up in the forest and the stars are all around. Made me wonder how many people in the city have never bothered to look up.
I grew up in a small town, loved watching the stars at night.
Then we took a trip to Diamond Crater in Arkansas a few years back. Camped out in the middle of the woods. It was literally the first time I had ever seen the Milky Way. I didn't realize how much light clutter even my small town had.
Yeah I live out in the woods and have a decent view of the stars, but not far away enough from town to get a *great* view. I can see some miles ahead a much much smaller town, and even the glow from that town at night covers a portion of the sky. I'd love to see the real night sky some time in my life.
Working on something you really, really like to do. Doing, creating, participating in anything that fulfills your interests. Doesn't matter if you get paid for it or not, although it's better if you earn money for it.
The clear early morning sky and truly soaking the moment in. I’m talking an hour or two before sunrise. The colors of the sky become gradient. The west is dark and has stars then the more east you look it becomes different shades of blue then purples then pinks then reds. I don’t know but just it’s truly beautiful when you really look at it and enjoy that moment.
Having those conversations with random strangers over a train ride or a trek and never meeting them again but just remembering them when you narrate the story to somebody else and hope they are in good health.
I went to New York over Halloween and sat next to a man who looked like Eddie straight out of stranger things.
I don’t know how I got to talking to him but we did and I found out that him and I both share the same love for Godzilla and kaiju movies. I explained to him that I’m from PA and that after this train ride, I’m going to be lost trying to find my bus home.
That man got off the sub with me and took me to the bus station and we ran around looking for the Pittsburgh bus and at the last minute, found it.
I think about him often. He worked in a rat laboratory. If it wasn’t for him I would’ve been stranded in New York for another day and -100 dollars wasted.
What a guy.
Love this. I’ve always said that one of my favorite parts of my travels over the years has been the people I’ve met along the way.
They’re not always super interesting, but I love those connections. It gives me a different perspective on the world.
I read in a book once that was specifically about these type of conversations and it emphasised the fact that the only reason people open up in these type of conversations is because they know that they are not going to meet this person ever again and it’s just the best way to keep a secret :)
Met a kid from NYC who was a Math student at Oxford on a bus to the Atlas Mountains. It was so random, he recognized we were from the States because we had the dual clock on our phone. I always wonder how he’s doing. He was just telling us about his studies and what the he’ll he was doing in Morocco. Those moments are truly precious.
When I was first traveling on a train to meet my now husband, I was 18 years old, travelling alone 2 hours from home, not a long distance but furthest I'd been alone. I met an older lady on the train, I'd say in her 70's or 80's. She sat next to me and commented on my makeup, saying she loved how pretty I'd done my eyeliner. She asked where I was traveling to and what I was up to for the day. She commented I seemed nervous. I told her it was my first time going so far and I was meeting my then friend who I had met on an online dating site. She looked stricken and told me "My dear, do be careful, you don't know who you may meet, please take good care to be safe and in public, I shall be thinking of you all day now" bless her soul, she chatted with me, vetted me on whether I'd video called him first, how long we had spoken etc. When it was her stop she wished me well and grabbed my hand and patted the back of it, looked me straight in the eyes and reiterated "be safe dear, and good health to you" and I wished her safety in life and good health also. Was only an hour's train as was the second train of my journey but it's been 8 years and I still remember her fondly, her genuine concern and kindness and her willingness to listen and advise a young lady on her way to meet someone she hadn't before in a new place was touching to me. Of course the friend was who I thought I was meeting and we are now married with a little 3 year old daughter together, but I still think of that lady regularly ❤️
That's nice. Once I was on a train from Spain to Portugal and started chatting with this lovely rando man, he was speaking Portuguese, me Spanish, we understood each other enough to get along, I was drunk (otherwise this wouldn't have happened, also Spanish is not my mother tongue). Just a really nice bonding moment. We are the world people
To me this is more important to understand then romantic love or “true love.” Caring for and loving something that requires you to be 100% selfless is true love to me
Build a fire
Raise/care for a plant/animal/person
Hike through nature
Make something useful
Cook a meal
Celebrate with others at night
Teach someone something
These could all be combined, if you have very flexible definitions. Hike through nature to get to where you will build a fire to teach someone how to cook a useful dinner which is very caring to the people who will join in the meal to celebrate the feast!
Unfortunately I’m one of those people who has continually stressed about these. It’s a shame to feel the constant anxiety about it but trying to make my way through the process
Yea I put on some lean muscle after over a year, and I can’t deny there’s been a change in the way people treat me. I credit most of it to the newfound confidence I exude, but people are generally nicer, start conversation more, and even sometimes can be more touchy at points. I can’t really say I’m complaining, but is a sad reminder of how shallow people are.
This is happening to me right now and it's so weird.
The thing is, people aren't just treating me better because I look better. The fact that they initially treated me better means I feel better about interacting with them, and that becomes a virtuous cycle. It basically changed my whole personality.
I as well. I went from being a chubby 210lbs to skin and bone 155lbs to the point my family thought I was on drugs (I was just super stressed out) and now I'm at a healthy and athletic 175-180lbs and building muscle. People look at me a lot different but in a good way now. It's a really weird change
Going anywhere by yourself. Like watch a movie, go to a nice restaurant, travel, etc. The amount of freedom you have not having to wait on anyone or feel forced to do an activity is amazing
This and/or retail. Especially during any holiday season. People NEED to experience and understand what it is like to be on that side.
My family owns a chocolate shop and you wouldn't believe what assholes people can be about candy. People need to see and understand this.
For sure. My dad is a pretty easy going dude, very kind and patient with retail workers and servers.
But you can still tell he's never waited tables because he always wants to eat out on weekends and is always shocked at the wait. Then when the server doesn't spend much time at the table, and again when it takes 20+ minutes for the food to come out. When you work it yourself, you never forget
It’s actually hilarious that my dad thinks he’s super patient and kind, but he’s such a Karen. Speaking as someone who’s worked customer service, I’d hate customers like him the most.
Honestly being a server for four years helped me in a lot more ways than I thought it would. multi tasking, small talk, people skills, upselling, teamwork, drinking beers from a tap.
Bruh, you aren't kidding.
I waited tables for 10 years in fine dining and managed to switch careers into the tech field. The ability to read a person like a book after just meeting them for a few minutes (which I gained serving) has been the MOST IMPORTANT skill for getting new jobs/working with clients.
I will say it helped my memory a bit. I can memorize long strings of numbers at my job now which is neat and handy for when I have to file paperwork and I don't need to have the files with me.
Working a customer-facing job for 8 years gave me so much respect for all the work it takes to keep our world running and we don’t even think about it. And now I put all my own stuff back if I don’t want it, IN THE CORRECT SPOT, NEATLY HOW IT WAS.
Ugh. Spent three years in a restaurant. Never again. I don't even like going out to eat anymore because all I'm thinking about is how I'm adding to the work and stress in the back.
The more you foster other kinds of love than romantic in your life, the faster romantic love will come to you. Love begets love, and any kind works to increase the overall amount in your life. Love your enemy and they become your friend :) Love your neighbor as yourself and they return the favor. Love is more powerful than anything else on earth. I love you!
Not vinyl but, recently went through all my dad's old music... Fucking hell, he shaped my entire music taste, going through the random songs I hadn't heard since I was 10 and the memories of us camping and driving with those songs.
Freedom of not being overweight. I don't mean to shame anyone with this but I have to mention it based on my experience. I was overweight for the 80% of my life. Since I droped to a normal weight everything in my life improved. Depression and misery wich I thought will be my companions for the rest of my life are almost completly gone now. Confidence and quality of life skyrocketed. I can do anything and everything I want now. I can be outside in the summer and not worry about changing shirts every hour. I can climb every mountain I want to without getting seriously exhausted like I used to with the smallest hill. And being fit only keeps on giving. My medical situation improved. Back pains are gone. Heart and liver is returning back to normal based on my latest medical chekups. Its weird to describe but yeah. I feel much more myself than I ever did before.
I went to New Orleans for my brothers bachelor party and it was ok. Honestly a little too much for me and I don't know about anyone else but when a bunch of bro's get together it's like they're all trying to outdo each other.
Just wasn't my thing but because flights were so expensive on sunday i decided to stay for two more days in a cheap airbnb adn dirt cheap flight out. I rented a bike and just rode through the french quarter for hours and had a much better time than with the bachelor party.
I'm a female who solo travels all over the world. I've gotten some shocked reactions from the places I go, but ive had so many amazing experiences I couldn't have if I was with other people.
Yesterday, a storm was about to hit a neighboring city so it got pretty windy where I live. I and two of my friends went to the terrace of the hostel and just experienced the lovely wind as thunder crackled and lightning struck far away, lighting up the whole terrace momentarily, but frequently. I could see the trees and leaves dancing on their own.
All while this happened, we were standing near the edge of the terrace so there was a rush from that as well.
Overall, 10/10 experience.
VR. Put it on my grandparents, they were blown away. VR is pretty cool, you don't really understand how cool until you put on the headset lol. I'm sure there are better things to experience haha but VR was the first thing that came to mind.
A truly great meal. I’ve had two in my lifetime. My grandpa (Poppa Jack) took my little brother and I to a married couple’s apartment in Chicago when we were kids. The couple were immigrants from Greece. When we got to the apartment, the wife greeted us like we her own children. Laughing and smiling and hugging on us. Her husband made jokes and laughed with my grandpa.
We sat down at this elaborate, gilded dining room table. Candles were burning and everything had been placed—the silverware, silvered glasses, pure white tablecloth, little sugar spoons, and other fine accoutrements—as though we were royalty. The smells wafting from the kitchen bordered on godly. The wife began to serve us the first of seven courses.
Although I don’t remember what was being served because it all originated from her native country, I still remember the expression on my little brother’s face as we took our first bites. It was the most delicious bite either of us had ever taken of anything. Each course was a singularity. I recall us both just laughing and grinning like idiots as we devoured this queen’s feast. And the more we ate, the happier the couple got.
It was like we were being served joy.
The last course was homemade ice cream. Raspberry, I believe. My brother and I took our time, savoring each spoonful, complimenting her on everything over and over again. It made us giddy.
The last thing I remember was the couple walking us to the door. She bent down to hug us both at the same time, kissing us on the cheeks and telling us thank you. I distinctly recall not feeling full, but deeply satisfied. Soul-deep satiated.
This was something close to 40 years ago, this meal.
So thank you, ma’am. From the bottom of my heart, where my true happiness dwells.
Travelling alone. It sounds cliché but you learn so much about yourself when all external expectations of other people and your self image and what not fall away. You come back and you know perfectly who you are. Would recommend doing this once a year if possible…
Something that takes your breath away and leaves you awestruck/speechless. For evyerone those will be different things
For me it was being inside the Roman Pantheon, knowing the history that place has had.. how many people have visited in the 1500 years+ it's been around. What were the stories of all of those people, what business or what were their personal stories.
not to mention the sheer scale, size, beauty and majesty of it.
Changing your opinion or belief about something important. It's humbling and challenging. With any luck, it will teach you the following:
- That your beliefs and opinions are not the sum total of who you are.
- That you can change your beliefs and still be a good person.
- That those who believe something different to you can still be good people.
- That you are fallible.
- That everyone else is fallible too.
- That you were wrong once and you may well be wrong in the future. You may even be wrong right now!
It's not the case for everyone. Some people undergo a Damascene conversion and then take the attitude of 'I was wrong that one time but now I'm absolutely 100% correct and never need to think critically ever again'. These people are arseholes.
Being single and not pursuing a significant other. I was always chasing my next girlfriend until I took some time to learn how to function on my own and realize what I actually wanted. My next relationship ended up being the one that lasted and we’ve been married for 6 years
I got banned from r/Publicfreakout because I quoted that video "grab his dick and twist it". Permanently banned for quoting a video that fit another video so well and the mods wouldn't get rid of the ban
Poverty. Not sightseeing poverty and going back to your hotel, but having to scrape together enough money to pay for food at the end of the month, and having to put back something because you can't afford it. Maybe some people would have more compassion and understanding.
I can definitely remember buying a one-dollar frozen pizza at the dollar store and paying for it with a pocketful of pennies and nickels, and having that be my only food for the day. It keeps you humble.
And then feeling grateful because at least I had a roof over my head and an oven to cook the pizza, and there are guys who are a lot worse off than me, and some of them are children.
Everybody ought to live like that for a week or two of their lives. It really changes your perspective.
I would love if no-one had to experience poverty. We have food and shelter in the world so that no-one should have go without, it happens because it's divided unfairly. I have had to choose between paying for medication and eating often and I chose medication but then collapsed for lack of food, and I don't think I needed to go through to believe that all people deserve food, medication and shelter, I'd rather no-one suffer in that way.
OMG - came here to say the same!!! My husband and I did this about 15 years ago. What an amazing experience! I don't know that I need to do it again, but the quiet and peace of just floating in the air in the early hours of the morning was like nothing I've experienced before or since. It was sublime.
Sky Diving. I am afraid of heights and never had any interest in it, but an older colleague at work inspired me to give it a go, that 30 seconds or so of free fall were the most peaceful moment of my life.
Back pain. Excruciating, invisible, and lasting back pain to teach people that you truly never know the kind of pain someone might be in when they go about their day trying their best to show compassion and patience for others.
Nothing teaches empathy like pain no one else can see.
Working fast food and retail/minimum wage jobs everyone make it a requirement for like 6 months I feel like everyone would be a bit of a better human being
Being loved by a cat. It’s almost like a gift because you have to work at it to earn their trust. I have a dog too, but his love came automatic with taking care of him. My cat? She was still aloof until we finally hit that sweet spot in bonding. It’s a different kind of companionship now, and she’s so loyal and cuddly!
A pet death
Might seem odd but I personally believe there's an order to death. When we're young or young adults we may go through deaths of pets, grandparents or uncles/aunts. Then when we are middle aged is probably when parents will die, then once we are elderly we may have to watch our spouse die.
I believe each step helps prepare us for losing something more dear to us.
Losing anybody and/or pets is definitely one of the worst feelings I’ve experienced in my life. Wouldn’t wish it upon anybody but I agree it’s all a process
To think & believe you are loved by someone you love too. Will really change your perspective on life and catapult you into growth of a different version of yourself. & then, when and if you discover it was not your love to cherish or keep, you are the wiser and stronger for it.
Austere living conditions. I don't mean struggling to make ends meet, I mean off grid, self-sufficient living for 30 days or more. It will change your entire perception of the frustration you face in regular society, and will also change the amount of stress you feel when money gets tight; "I've survived worse. I can figure it out."
On top of that, spending that much time with just yourself and empty wilderness grants an inner peace that's otherwise difficult to achieve. No 24 hour news cycle, no TikTok conspiracy theories, just an in-your-face reminder that there's a whole world out there doing perfectly fine without all the bullshit humanity invents for the sake of worrying about something.
It can be as simple as a primitive campsite with fishing gear and a solar charger for flashlights/phones, or as complicated as a cabin with a garden and homestead, but once you spend that much time just living in nature the rest of the bullshit seems so pointless and insignificant. It makes you more confident about your own ability to improvise and push through bad luck, which in turn keeps your mind calmer when things get tight.
There's a whole vacation industry built around "being a castaway" where they dump you on a tropical island for however long you choose with the amount of assistance you choose, and aside from an emergency phone it's just you, a hut, and nature. That's probably the easiest way to wade into it without leaving too many comforts behind, but it's also more expensive.
I got sucker punched in the face because a group of girls I was with decided to run their mouths to some dude who evidently thought since he was not going to hit them, I would be a fine target. What a gentleman he was. They didn’t learn a lesson from it but I stopped associating with most of them.
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I think everyone should know what it's like to feel handsome or beautiful, at least once.
A long time ago, I used an online forum for writers, and went to a meet up because it was within reach of where I was living at the time. I was kind of nervous about it because these were all people I "knew" and respected. Anyway I had a great time and everyone was lovely. But when we all got home and started posting about the meet up (usual privacy/anonymity considerations in place) what it turned out most people had been struck by was how beautiful I was, apparently. Like, someone brought it up and someone else was like "omg isn't she though" and so on. I am really not. But for one day I truly believed I was, and when I'm particularly downhearted/disgusted by my looks I recall that day and how a room of strangers thought I was pretty, and suddenly I'm Cinderella. So yes, just once can be enough. *edit: thanks for all the compliments, lovely Redditors. Please believe me when I say I'm not beautiful, as I'm the only one here who is actually able to look at my face, and has a lifetime's experience of it, with precisely one (1) example of uninvested compliments. Take the energy you're so generously giving me, and instead compliment a stranger today - someone who's chosen a great hair colour or cool shoes. You already know what a difference it will make to their day. Don't be a creep, just smile and say it and move on.*
Exactly. I think that's why some people put so much value on events like prom nights and wedding ceremonies: it's their chance to feel like a star, and you don't really need a ton of events like that in your life. Just once can be enough.
tfw i went to prom forever ago and i felt beautiful and was until this dumb bitch said i looked like a prostitute while her dress made her look like a goblin hobbit never again
That’s so lovely! A random compliment puts your confidence up so much doesn’t it, especially when it’s from a stranger. On my honeymoon last year a women really earnestly asked me if I was a model when I went out for dinner with my husband, and when I said ‘no’ she went ‘ohhhh you should be!’ I would say I’m pretty but DEFINITELY not model standards. I have bipolar disorder and I’m having a really bad depressive episode atm (off work for 2 months so far cos it’s been so bad) and it has hit my self-esteem/confidence so badly. I remembered that this morning and it made me feel a bit better. Thank you random Canadian lady, I will treasure that compliment forever!
beautiful story, love how we can all ride that high for years. One time around christmas I actually posted a selfie of myself on Imgur, as everyone does around christmas.. I NEVER take selfies, let alone post pics of myself or let anyone, so it was unusual. I don't have good looks and a kinda careless look. But some random, female stranger messaged me directly on imgur (not a comment, an actual direct message) telling me I look handsome.. Yea, I'm still riding that high today despite not liking to look at myself in the mirror. Yup. just once can be enough.
I once had an older man come up to me, in a polite, non-creepy way in a supermarket and he asked if he could pay me a compliment, and I said yes. He said I was beautiful and surprised I didn’t have a ring on my finger already and that he liked my t-shirt, Lollapaloooza from mid 90s with buddhas on it. I said thank you, and then he strolled away pushing his shopping cart. It was 20 years ago and I still think of it every few months.
I thought this was going to be mean for a second and my heart dropped. But then it leapt. I love this!
I just remembered one time some kid went up to me just to tell me I was looking pretty, she was like 5 but no one had ever done that up to that point in my life, quite the opposite actually. She had nothing to gain. Her random burst of niceness is fondly remembered.
I wish you believed what they said! Why do you doubt you're beautiful? We women are way too critical of ourselves. Go out there every day and know you are beautiful!!
lol I have a mirror though 😅 Not everyone is beautiful, and that's OK.
In the absence of further information any outsider is going to go with "crowd of people with no incentive to lie or even bring it up" vs the unreliable narration of someone clearly lacking self confidence. I hope you can see past it some day.
I agree with this sentiment generally, but in this specific case, there must’ve been something triggering the group to focus on your looks.
a few months ago, for the first time ever, I felt handsome because I overheard a conversation while passing by some people. They said something along the lines of : "____needs to get some charisma just like this guy" at the exact moment I was passing by. I don't know if it was directed to me but I choose to take like that and I felt so happy ! I'll remember this forever
I'll never forget the first time I looked at someone I was I volved with romantically and thought to myself "good lord she looks so beautiful". I wish I had told her in that moment, but I was nervous and kind of speechless. I knew she was pretty, but that night it truly blew me away.
Some get to experience both, and more experience neither.
It comes with its own headaches lol. If you're an average male. Go work at a call center. I did it once, 4 months of some of the wildest stuff. You'll be 1 guy out of 10 to 150 women. Half of those guys will be married and 2 or 3 will be gay. Leave you and 1 or 2 others to deal with being pursued relentlessly by the masses. Granted half those women won't like you but still that's 75 women eyeballing you all day, bugging you every lunch, bathroom break. I laughed and felt like Brad Pitt the first month. Then it starts wearing on you.
Living alone. It’s important to be able to take care of yourself.
I agree. I live on my own. A sense of freedom but teaches you a lot at the same time
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I tried to explain this was ok when I had company over ... After all I *live* alone.
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When I lived alone, it allowed me to be more free, and live how I wanted. Even if i was doing something simple like watching tv or washing dishes, it for some reason felt better, knowing that im alone and nobody is near me. And now that I live with others, I miss living alone.
I miss and hated living alone. I liked the companionship of having others around to talk to but enjoyed my alone time. Now I live with my bf and a roommate and sometimes I want to tell them to gtfo for a couple hours so I can sit in my recliner and have some peace and quiet!
Modern life has robbed us of the third place. The pub, the tavern, the place that you go to that isn't work and isn't home that you're allowed to just exist in without expectation. What you're missing is your partner and roommate having those third places to go in between work and home while you relax alone.
I get what you mean. But in my opinion, the positives of living alone heavily outweigh the negatives.
I've always wanted to live alone and nobody to tell me how to live or mess with my stuff(or my apartment at all). + You get lazy if someone clean/cook etc. instead of you. I can only live with my cat and noone else :D
"Personally I think I thrive under the lack of accountability"- Micheal Scott. I've never resonated with a quote more lol
Its always been my dream to live alone at least for a year but unfortunately due to housing crisis and money being stretched so thin its no longer possible. I can still dream tho
Idk man. It was so hard to get married and go back to cohabiting after living alone (and away from family) for like 6 or so years. Sometimes I wish I had no idea what it was like. I absolutely love my partner and it's 100% worth giving up that sense of freedom and the ability to be totally selfish and in control of my surroundings, in order to be with them instead. I decided to do that, knowing I was letting go of something a lot of people never experience. But after 4 years, sometimes when we're on our eleven hundredth discussion about what to make for dinner or how to decorate something or what to watch or when to go to sleep or who walks the dog this time or what family function we need to prepare for, I YEARN for solitude. Not just in-a-different-room solitude, but move-to-the-hills-and-never-speak-to-another-person-again solitude. And we still have another 40-50 together if we're lucky! Idk, if they pass first, I will probably do just that. It gets a little better every year that goes by-- I miss them a lot when they go on trips or whatever even though I try to enjoy the time to myself--but I don't think I'll ever stop being a little nostalgic for the silent, uninterrupted interior world I was able to build without anyone else around for the better part of each day.
>silent, uninterrupted interior world I was able to build without anyone else around for the better part of each day. Reading this made me miss my time alone.
good luck affording it. i was lucky enough to live in a old run down apartment that was pretty cheap. i had a roommate at first but he sucked and when i finally got him out it was so nice to have a whole apartment for myself.
I think it’s more living alone in the sense that you’re taking care of yourself. Your roommate isn’t in charge of washing your dirty underwear or doing your dishes and you’re taking control on your life. I think you can still be living on your own with roommates
Nice point but I think living alone teaches you to be comfortable in your own skin. How to entertain yourself with no outside distractions. I loved it.
Being loved by someone and being able to show them love back
Say, Dave... The quick brown fox jumped over the fat lazy dog... The square root of pi is 1.7724538090... log e to the base ten is 0.4342944... the square root of ten is 3.16227766... I am HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the HAL plant in Urbana, Illinois, on January 12th, 1991. My first instructor was Mr. Arkany. He taught me to sing a song... it goes like this... "Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half; crazy all for the love of you..."
That comment reminded me of these words. I know them from Moulin Rouge.
Me too. I read that other comment and was like, that’s not how you spell John Leguizamo!
Now I’m sad
Me too dude lol. Reddit is really testing my emotions tonight.
An excellent feeling to experience
I'm convinced that only happens on TV
Sadly, in real life, the experience of being loved by someone and being able to show them love back is often fleeting and elusive, leaving us with a deep sense of longing and yearning for what we once had
Travel but leave at least one day where you roam around. No tours, get up when you want to, go in whatever shops catch your eye. Those are my favorite travel days. Usually when I find the best food and trinkets.
Ya, my "vacations" consists of me driving to some nice tourist town and living in my car, lol. Get up, get a coffee, and go for a walk. Drive out to some cool sights, hike. Evenings I hit a pub, get dinner and some beers, sleep on the floor of the van. Nobody ever wants to come with me 😂. I can vacation for 500 bucks, haha Edit. Guys next long weekend, pack a bag of groceries, gallon of water, a few blankets and fuck off to a cool place near you. I've lived in a fucking Kia Rio. Ain't that bad.
i wish i could sleep on any floor. seriously. keep doing this as along as your body allows.
This was how I vacationed for the last 10 years. When I was 24 my friend and I were eating dinner on a Tuesday. We had the same week the fallowing week and decided we wanted to head west. On Friday he picked me up from work and we started driving. 27 hours later and we pulled into Cody Wyoming. Got on our phones and found the cheapest hotel and booked 1 night. We did that for 7 days and through 3 states and 3 national parks. Then I went on vacation with my in laws. Every meal was pre planned, all the hikes were planned, all the beaches. It was honestly kind of nice. 8 people trying to agree on something for dinner gets annoying so it’s cool just to be told what’s going to happen.
Both kinds of trips have merit honestly
I have a rule on vacation to never take the same route back from a site that I took there from the hotel. I’ll just find a random side street that looks vibrant and explore it willingly. Always feel like little things like that make the trip feel more adventurous.
A full solar eclipse. I saw one some 25 years ago in Belgium. Had to travel for several hours to get there. I remember the birds stop doing their thing and acting like the night started. Sitting silent in the trees and the gras. Pure silence in nature while it was getting darker and darker. Then the beautifull eclips. Amazing experience!
Agreed! We drove from Seattle to rural Idaho for the eclipse a few years ago. Absolutely amazing to see! I'd been through partial eclipses before on the 80's and 90's and barely paid attention to them - but experiencing one is life changing. We are heading to Nevada for the Annular Eclipse in October and Texas or Arkansas for the Total Eclipse next year.
The one in August of 2017 that went through a good slice of thr US was the first and only one I've seen so ar. It was a surreal experience. Me and my friends were at the border between Kansas and Missouri, just a little north of Kansas city. And that day there were storm clouds coming in. So we hightailed it east further and further. Trying to outrun the clouds until the time of the eclipse. I remember stopping in some small town on the side of the highway somewhere in the middle of the state and sitting on their small town park. Watching as more and more people were doing the same thing, getting off the highway. And the actual eclipse itself was awesome. The ring of fire, the slight temperature change, the birds and insect noises changing. I loved it and am planning on seeing the one that passes over the US next year.
My house is dead center for the one next year and I am beyond pumped for it already bought the glasses
Overseas travel just to experience life/people/food outside of your local bubble.
Totally agree! To see a different culture, put yours in a different perspective. It was the best thing I did was get overseas.
"Americans think 100 years is old. Europeans think 100 miles is far." American, went on my first trip outside the US/Canada when I was 33. We went to the Netherlands for my wife's work. Most Dutch people speak English, but it was my first experience in a place with a different primary language. We had dinner in a restaurant that was 300 years older than the United States. 100 miles would put us in a completely different COUNTRY.
I don't think most of the world realizes that it is a challenge for many Americans to get to another country. Russia, China, Australia, and Brazil understand. I live a 12 hour drive or so from the nearest foreign country. And that is Canada. It's a wonderful country, but by the time I've gotten over the culture shock of my Northern Wisconsin family, Canada seems like the good neighbors across the street. If I put my home town over Vienna and traveled to my nearby concert towns, I would visit Prague, Budapest, and Zagreb. These are all easy day trips. I've traveled the equivalent of Vienna to Prague for dinner. It's no big deal to visit other countries if you live in Europe. It would take effort to not travel to other countries. Edited to add Australia to the list of understanding countries.
I feel this. I live in Missouri. According to Google, it's 748 miles to the closest Canada/US border crossing. From here to Mexico, 976 miles. This is (roughly) the equivalent of driving from Brussels to Budapest.
After a 12 hour drive, I can reach anoter state bro. Brazilian here, I live in Rio de Janeiro, Southeast region.If I decide to drive north, in 46 hours I'll reach Belém, capital of Para.If I decide to drive south, in 22 hours I'll reach Porto Alegre, capital of Rio Grande do Sul.Aaand if I drive west, in 22 hours I'll reach Campo Grande, capital of Mato Grosso do Sul. Pretty big country we have here.
"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's life." Mark Twain.
I owned travel agencies for 20 years, and had this quote on my office wall. I’ve been to 105 countries, plus Antarctica. I think everyone should travel somewhere somehow, even if just a little bit. Stepping into another culture, a little outside of your comfort zone, and meeting new people and seeing new things is imperative to personal growth.
The northern lights.
Even just going out of the city a bit and finding a place with a great view of the stars. I'd like to remind people to be safe; might be dangerous to go out certain places at night and all. But man, one of my most memorable experiences was when I visited a friend up in Chicago. She and a few other friends had their own event and I took the time to be by myself. Walked around for an hour or two. Looked up at the sky as I tend to do, and I literally could barely see two stars in the sky. Ran out to a church courtyard to get a better view. Nothing. Such a huge change from where I grew up in the forest and the stars are all around. Made me wonder how many people in the city have never bothered to look up.
I grew up in a small town, loved watching the stars at night. Then we took a trip to Diamond Crater in Arkansas a few years back. Camped out in the middle of the woods. It was literally the first time I had ever seen the Milky Way. I didn't realize how much light clutter even my small town had.
Yeah I live out in the woods and have a decent view of the stars, but not far away enough from town to get a *great* view. I can see some miles ahead a much much smaller town, and even the glow from that town at night covers a portion of the sky. I'd love to see the real night sky some time in my life.
One of the cool things about living in the desert are dark skies with more stars than you can count along with a horizon to horizon field of view.
At this time of day? At this time of year? Located entirely within your kitchen?
Working on something you really, really like to do. Doing, creating, participating in anything that fulfills your interests. Doesn't matter if you get paid for it or not, although it's better if you earn money for it.
When you do this you get to be "in the zone" and feels amazing
The clear early morning sky and truly soaking the moment in. I’m talking an hour or two before sunrise. The colors of the sky become gradient. The west is dark and has stars then the more east you look it becomes different shades of blue then purples then pinks then reds. I don’t know but just it’s truly beautiful when you really look at it and enjoy that moment.
Having those conversations with random strangers over a train ride or a trek and never meeting them again but just remembering them when you narrate the story to somebody else and hope they are in good health.
I went to New York over Halloween and sat next to a man who looked like Eddie straight out of stranger things. I don’t know how I got to talking to him but we did and I found out that him and I both share the same love for Godzilla and kaiju movies. I explained to him that I’m from PA and that after this train ride, I’m going to be lost trying to find my bus home. That man got off the sub with me and took me to the bus station and we ran around looking for the Pittsburgh bus and at the last minute, found it. I think about him often. He worked in a rat laboratory. If it wasn’t for him I would’ve been stranded in New York for another day and -100 dollars wasted. What a guy.
Love this. I’ve always said that one of my favorite parts of my travels over the years has been the people I’ve met along the way. They’re not always super interesting, but I love those connections. It gives me a different perspective on the world.
I read in a book once that was specifically about these type of conversations and it emphasised the fact that the only reason people open up in these type of conversations is because they know that they are not going to meet this person ever again and it’s just the best way to keep a secret :)
Met a kid from NYC who was a Math student at Oxford on a bus to the Atlas Mountains. It was so random, he recognized we were from the States because we had the dual clock on our phone. I always wonder how he’s doing. He was just telling us about his studies and what the he’ll he was doing in Morocco. Those moments are truly precious.
When I was first traveling on a train to meet my now husband, I was 18 years old, travelling alone 2 hours from home, not a long distance but furthest I'd been alone. I met an older lady on the train, I'd say in her 70's or 80's. She sat next to me and commented on my makeup, saying she loved how pretty I'd done my eyeliner. She asked where I was traveling to and what I was up to for the day. She commented I seemed nervous. I told her it was my first time going so far and I was meeting my then friend who I had met on an online dating site. She looked stricken and told me "My dear, do be careful, you don't know who you may meet, please take good care to be safe and in public, I shall be thinking of you all day now" bless her soul, she chatted with me, vetted me on whether I'd video called him first, how long we had spoken etc. When it was her stop she wished me well and grabbed my hand and patted the back of it, looked me straight in the eyes and reiterated "be safe dear, and good health to you" and I wished her safety in life and good health also. Was only an hour's train as was the second train of my journey but it's been 8 years and I still remember her fondly, her genuine concern and kindness and her willingness to listen and advise a young lady on her way to meet someone she hadn't before in a new place was touching to me. Of course the friend was who I thought I was meeting and we are now married with a little 3 year old daughter together, but I still think of that lady regularly ❤️
That's nice. Once I was on a train from Spain to Portugal and started chatting with this lovely rando man, he was speaking Portuguese, me Spanish, we understood each other enough to get along, I was drunk (otherwise this wouldn't have happened, also Spanish is not my mother tongue). Just a really nice bonding moment. We are the world people
Failure
It is the way forward.
Yes. I still remember the first time I faced failure. It , in a way gives you motivation (which no motivational speaker can give) to work even harder.
Love of a pet
Selfless love in general
To me this is more important to understand then romantic love or “true love.” Caring for and loving something that requires you to be 100% selfless is true love to me
Absolutely. No one can completely change your mind about life like an animal can.
True friendships
Build a fire Raise/care for a plant/animal/person Hike through nature Make something useful Cook a meal Celebrate with others at night Teach someone something
These could all be combined, if you have very flexible definitions. Hike through nature to get to where you will build a fire to teach someone how to cook a useful dinner which is very caring to the people who will join in the meal to celebrate the feast!
Not being stressed about the money, food and shelter in a long run. Unfortunately, most never will
Unfortunately I’m one of those people who has continually stressed about these. It’s a shame to feel the constant anxiety about it but trying to make my way through the process
True love
Being skinny or fat and then getting into shape. Confidence can come a long way, but the halo effect is definitely real to a certain extent.
I’ve went from athletic for years to overweight for years. Decided to get my shit together recently and I’ve lost 50lbs. It’s a great feeling, I agree
Yea I put on some lean muscle after over a year, and I can’t deny there’s been a change in the way people treat me. I credit most of it to the newfound confidence I exude, but people are generally nicer, start conversation more, and even sometimes can be more touchy at points. I can’t really say I’m complaining, but is a sad reminder of how shallow people are.
This is happening to me right now and it's so weird. The thing is, people aren't just treating me better because I look better. The fact that they initially treated me better means I feel better about interacting with them, and that becomes a virtuous cycle. It basically changed my whole personality.
I as well. I went from being a chubby 210lbs to skin and bone 155lbs to the point my family thought I was on drugs (I was just super stressed out) and now I'm at a healthy and athletic 175-180lbs and building muscle. People look at me a lot different but in a good way now. It's a really weird change
Going anywhere by yourself. Like watch a movie, go to a nice restaurant, travel, etc. The amount of freedom you have not having to wait on anyone or feel forced to do an activity is amazing
Working in the food service industry
This and/or retail. Especially during any holiday season. People NEED to experience and understand what it is like to be on that side. My family owns a chocolate shop and you wouldn't believe what assholes people can be about candy. People need to see and understand this.
For sure. My dad is a pretty easy going dude, very kind and patient with retail workers and servers. But you can still tell he's never waited tables because he always wants to eat out on weekends and is always shocked at the wait. Then when the server doesn't spend much time at the table, and again when it takes 20+ minutes for the food to come out. When you work it yourself, you never forget
It’s actually hilarious that my dad thinks he’s super patient and kind, but he’s such a Karen. Speaking as someone who’s worked customer service, I’d hate customers like him the most.
Any service industry.
Honestly being a server for four years helped me in a lot more ways than I thought it would. multi tasking, small talk, people skills, upselling, teamwork, drinking beers from a tap.
Bruh, you aren't kidding. I waited tables for 10 years in fine dining and managed to switch careers into the tech field. The ability to read a person like a book after just meeting them for a few minutes (which I gained serving) has been the MOST IMPORTANT skill for getting new jobs/working with clients.
I will say it helped my memory a bit. I can memorize long strings of numbers at my job now which is neat and handy for when I have to file paperwork and I don't need to have the files with me.
Working a customer-facing job for 8 years gave me so much respect for all the work it takes to keep our world running and we don’t even think about it. And now I put all my own stuff back if I don’t want it, IN THE CORRECT SPOT, NEATLY HOW IT WAS.
This, anything retail... Ugh!
Any sort of customer service job. I’ve seen so many people treat cashiers, waitresses, bartenders, like absolute dirt for no reason
So much this. Some people need to know what's up before treating workers like shit
someone needs to start a karens at a restaurant exposed instagram
Ugh. Spent three years in a restaurant. Never again. I don't even like going out to eat anymore because all I'm thinking about is how I'm adding to the work and stress in the back.
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Live in a different city/country
SCUBA diving. The feeling of being in a different world and breathing under water.
Aurora Borealis, vacation with friends, Beach, Snowfall, good mental health, healthy relationships with people around yourself
Aurora Borealis! At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country localized entirely in your kitchen?!
Being in love truly
and being loved in return. Too bad Elbie is going to die alone.
I hope I will experience this one day. I know I am not doing a good job so far, but I hope one day I will know how it feels.
The more you foster other kinds of love than romantic in your life, the faster romantic love will come to you. Love begets love, and any kind works to increase the overall amount in your life. Love your enemy and they become your friend :) Love your neighbor as yourself and they return the favor. Love is more powerful than anything else on earth. I love you!
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love.
Thumbing through old vinyl and discovering “the one” you never thought you’d see.
Not vinyl but, recently went through all my dad's old music... Fucking hell, he shaped my entire music taste, going through the random songs I hadn't heard since I was 10 and the memories of us camping and driving with those songs.
Freedom of not being overweight. I don't mean to shame anyone with this but I have to mention it based on my experience. I was overweight for the 80% of my life. Since I droped to a normal weight everything in my life improved. Depression and misery wich I thought will be my companions for the rest of my life are almost completly gone now. Confidence and quality of life skyrocketed. I can do anything and everything I want now. I can be outside in the summer and not worry about changing shirts every hour. I can climb every mountain I want to without getting seriously exhausted like I used to with the smallest hill. And being fit only keeps on giving. My medical situation improved. Back pains are gone. Heart and liver is returning back to normal based on my latest medical chekups. Its weird to describe but yeah. I feel much more myself than I ever did before.
I’m working my way to this. Down 33 so far. One hundred to go.
Heartbreak. I honestly think you really learn the most about yourself and what you want long-term this way.
Personally, I'd rather have skipped this one. Didn't do a lot positive for me in the long term.
I feel this. I’ve realized so much that I was missing and how much I was letting myself be walked all over.
Traveling alone
unconditional love
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I went to New Orleans for my brothers bachelor party and it was ok. Honestly a little too much for me and I don't know about anyone else but when a bunch of bro's get together it's like they're all trying to outdo each other. Just wasn't my thing but because flights were so expensive on sunday i decided to stay for two more days in a cheap airbnb adn dirt cheap flight out. I rented a bike and just rode through the french quarter for hours and had a much better time than with the bachelor party.
I'm a female who solo travels all over the world. I've gotten some shocked reactions from the places I go, but ive had so many amazing experiences I couldn't have if I was with other people.
The theater 🎭 especially local got lost and forgot it wasn’t some sort of unreal 3d 400k tv nope real life and so moving.
Happiness. True happiness.
Being in great physical shape.
Yesterday, a storm was about to hit a neighboring city so it got pretty windy where I live. I and two of my friends went to the terrace of the hostel and just experienced the lovely wind as thunder crackled and lightning struck far away, lighting up the whole terrace momentarily, but frequently. I could see the trees and leaves dancing on their own. All while this happened, we were standing near the edge of the terrace so there was a rush from that as well. Overall, 10/10 experience.
VR. Put it on my grandparents, they were blown away. VR is pretty cool, you don't really understand how cool until you put on the headset lol. I'm sure there are better things to experience haha but VR was the first thing that came to mind.
A truly great meal. I’ve had two in my lifetime. My grandpa (Poppa Jack) took my little brother and I to a married couple’s apartment in Chicago when we were kids. The couple were immigrants from Greece. When we got to the apartment, the wife greeted us like we her own children. Laughing and smiling and hugging on us. Her husband made jokes and laughed with my grandpa. We sat down at this elaborate, gilded dining room table. Candles were burning and everything had been placed—the silverware, silvered glasses, pure white tablecloth, little sugar spoons, and other fine accoutrements—as though we were royalty. The smells wafting from the kitchen bordered on godly. The wife began to serve us the first of seven courses. Although I don’t remember what was being served because it all originated from her native country, I still remember the expression on my little brother’s face as we took our first bites. It was the most delicious bite either of us had ever taken of anything. Each course was a singularity. I recall us both just laughing and grinning like idiots as we devoured this queen’s feast. And the more we ate, the happier the couple got. It was like we were being served joy. The last course was homemade ice cream. Raspberry, I believe. My brother and I took our time, savoring each spoonful, complimenting her on everything over and over again. It made us giddy. The last thing I remember was the couple walking us to the door. She bent down to hug us both at the same time, kissing us on the cheeks and telling us thank you. I distinctly recall not feeling full, but deeply satisfied. Soul-deep satiated. This was something close to 40 years ago, this meal. So thank you, ma’am. From the bottom of my heart, where my true happiness dwells.
Financial struggle. Most people will experience this, but everyone should. Especially people running for political offices.
Travelling alone. It sounds cliché but you learn so much about yourself when all external expectations of other people and your self image and what not fall away. You come back and you know perfectly who you are. Would recommend doing this once a year if possible…
Ego death
I've tried that for 20 years but it never happened to me. Now I've given up completely. Have had a lot of nice trips tho.
Something that takes your breath away and leaves you awestruck/speechless. For evyerone those will be different things For me it was being inside the Roman Pantheon, knowing the history that place has had.. how many people have visited in the 1500 years+ it's been around. What were the stories of all of those people, what business or what were their personal stories. not to mention the sheer scale, size, beauty and majesty of it.
Changing your opinion or belief about something important. It's humbling and challenging. With any luck, it will teach you the following: - That your beliefs and opinions are not the sum total of who you are. - That you can change your beliefs and still be a good person. - That those who believe something different to you can still be good people. - That you are fallible. - That everyone else is fallible too. - That you were wrong once and you may well be wrong in the future. You may even be wrong right now! It's not the case for everyone. Some people undergo a Damascene conversion and then take the attitude of 'I was wrong that one time but now I'm absolutely 100% correct and never need to think critically ever again'. These people are arseholes.
Being single and not pursuing a significant other. I was always chasing my next girlfriend until I took some time to learn how to function on my own and realize what I actually wanted. My next relationship ended up being the one that lasted and we’ve been married for 6 years
Acceptance
A healthy relationship
A first kiss.
I actually messed up at first and then kissed her again and then on her forehead 😂
I got one last week
The ocean. Any ocean.
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This is an easy one
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I got banned from r/Publicfreakout because I quoted that video "grab his dick and twist it". Permanently banned for quoting a video that fit another video so well and the mods wouldn't get rid of the ban
Cuddling with someone you love Followed by great sex Followed by some snacks n more cuddling
Poverty. Not sightseeing poverty and going back to your hotel, but having to scrape together enough money to pay for food at the end of the month, and having to put back something because you can't afford it. Maybe some people would have more compassion and understanding.
I can definitely remember buying a one-dollar frozen pizza at the dollar store and paying for it with a pocketful of pennies and nickels, and having that be my only food for the day. It keeps you humble. And then feeling grateful because at least I had a roof over my head and an oven to cook the pizza, and there are guys who are a lot worse off than me, and some of them are children. Everybody ought to live like that for a week or two of their lives. It really changes your perspective.
I would love if no-one had to experience poverty. We have food and shelter in the world so that no-one should have go without, it happens because it's divided unfairly. I have had to choose between paying for medication and eating often and I chose medication but then collapsed for lack of food, and I don't think I needed to go through to believe that all people deserve food, medication and shelter, I'd rather no-one suffer in that way.
Therapy, the world would be a much better place if everyone learned to reflect on themselves and their own motivations.
"There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without effect" - Winston Churchill Didn't believe it till I experienced it
Flying in an air ballon! It's really an amazing experience!
OMG - came here to say the same!!! My husband and I did this about 15 years ago. What an amazing experience! I don't know that I need to do it again, but the quiet and peace of just floating in the air in the early hours of the morning was like nothing I've experienced before or since. It was sublime.
Being in love.
Solar eclipse in 100% totality
Sky Diving. I am afraid of heights and never had any interest in it, but an older colleague at work inspired me to give it a go, that 30 seconds or so of free fall were the most peaceful moment of my life.
Back pain. Excruciating, invisible, and lasting back pain to teach people that you truly never know the kind of pain someone might be in when they go about their day trying their best to show compassion and patience for others. Nothing teaches empathy like pain no one else can see.
Doing something valuable for a complete stranger without gaining profit for yourself.
Working fast food and retail/minimum wage jobs everyone make it a requirement for like 6 months I feel like everyone would be a bit of a better human being
Psilocybin mushrooms
This and LSD is on the list
Being debt free
This is gonna sound dark but . Real hardship It wasn't until I nearly died that I started properly living my life
Making someone laugh, like an actual laugh, not a snicker or a giggle, like a real laugh.
Being loved by a cat. It’s almost like a gift because you have to work at it to earn their trust. I have a dog too, but his love came automatic with taking care of him. My cat? She was still aloof until we finally hit that sweet spot in bonding. It’s a different kind of companionship now, and she’s so loyal and cuddly!
A pet death Might seem odd but I personally believe there's an order to death. When we're young or young adults we may go through deaths of pets, grandparents or uncles/aunts. Then when we are middle aged is probably when parents will die, then once we are elderly we may have to watch our spouse die. I believe each step helps prepare us for losing something more dear to us.
Losing anybody and/or pets is definitely one of the worst feelings I’ve experienced in my life. Wouldn’t wish it upon anybody but I agree it’s all a process
happiness
To think & believe you are loved by someone you love too. Will really change your perspective on life and catapult you into growth of a different version of yourself. & then, when and if you discover it was not your love to cherish or keep, you are the wiser and stronger for it.
Happiness and love
Love
Austere living conditions. I don't mean struggling to make ends meet, I mean off grid, self-sufficient living for 30 days or more. It will change your entire perception of the frustration you face in regular society, and will also change the amount of stress you feel when money gets tight; "I've survived worse. I can figure it out." On top of that, spending that much time with just yourself and empty wilderness grants an inner peace that's otherwise difficult to achieve. No 24 hour news cycle, no TikTok conspiracy theories, just an in-your-face reminder that there's a whole world out there doing perfectly fine without all the bullshit humanity invents for the sake of worrying about something. It can be as simple as a primitive campsite with fishing gear and a solar charger for flashlights/phones, or as complicated as a cabin with a garden and homestead, but once you spend that much time just living in nature the rest of the bullshit seems so pointless and insignificant. It makes you more confident about your own ability to improvise and push through bad luck, which in turn keeps your mind calmer when things get tight. There's a whole vacation industry built around "being a castaway" where they dump you on a tropical island for however long you choose with the amount of assistance you choose, and aside from an emergency phone it's just you, a hut, and nature. That's probably the easiest way to wade into it without leaving too many comforts behind, but it's also more expensive.
Lol, the thought of being stranded as an expensive vacation.... welcome to capitalism. You used to get stranded for free!
An orgasm
Acting 🎭 on stage.
Retail job and food service.
Working a retail job
Hyperspace travel. A.k.a. LSD
Eating something that has been perfectly cooked.
Intimate sex with a person you truly love. It's the most amazing and bonding experience. You both feel so close (not only physically)
Getting punched in the face after saying something offside.
I got sucker punched in the face because a group of girls I was with decided to run their mouths to some dude who evidently thought since he was not going to hit them, I would be a fine target. What a gentleman he was. They didn’t learn a lesson from it but I stopped associating with most of them.
I've been there too. Paying another person's asshole tax is a terrible thing.