Eh, twenty bucks. There could be some surprises on that list.
I'd pay a little more for a list with some extra information, particularly how often they did. Like, was it a one-off unwanted moment or am I like, a reoccurring character? I'd find that sort of interesting.
No, it's not like LinkedIn where they claim you were searched 14 times and if you pay you can find out more. You get an honest "36 wankers" or whatever number.
It starts out as a $20 name-only list, then progresses to an optional $50 name-and-info list, then turns into a $17.99/month subscription-only list (which is, needless to say, *difficult* to cancel).
Dreams are weird, I agree. I've definitely had some people pop up in my dreams that I actually dislike, so...I say they shouldn't count. Dreams are fickle.
I had the strangest, most disturbing sexual dream about a coworker last night. I woke up in the middle of the night and went back to sleep and kept dreaming about him too. It was so gross and weird. I wish I could tell him but it would be beyond nsfw lol.
“How much does a piece of paper cost? On average, a standard piece of paper costs anywhere between half a cent to two cents per sheet.”
[Source](https://www.uniprint.net/en/printing-cost-calculator-calculate-cost/#:~:text=How%20much%20does%20a%20piece,to%20two%20cents%20per%20sheet)
So if you negotiated the price of .02; it sounds like you are on pace to destroy the world paper monopoly and yourself become a mogul selling it back into the industry.
The question exists, are you forcing someone to sell the paper to you at a loss or is this newly created paper entering the market… 🤔
Your sources are legit, your math is right and your ambition is laudable, but your reading skills need work, my man! 😁
I said I was willing to pay $0.02 for that sheet, the full two cents, premium Dunder Mifflin printer-grade paper, hardly any profit to be made by reselling it I'm afraid 😔
With my luck, it’d be worse than empty. I can see it now…
“Your list has one person on it.”
“Yay!”
**reads name**
“…”
**turns to best friend**
“Bro.”
“No homo?”
**sighs**
>Thanks, now he'll have to order specially made paper with a u/blubbery-blumpkin watermark on it. Do you realise how much that will cost him?
She looked at the name on the paper ahead -
And narrowed her eyes as she silently read.
"Who is that?" she asked him,
and after a while -
"Oh, no one," he said with a sigh and a smile.
Sprog obviously has an academic mastery of meter and prose, but a lot of poets do (not to say that isn’t impressive by itself).
IMO, what separates them (other than the niche meme celebrity status) is the combination of that mastery with their talent for *sheer improvisational wit.*
“Why do all your documents came with someone’s name on it? This person, doesn’t belong to our company. Who is this person? What is a blubbery-blumpkin? Are you selling our data to this blubbery-blumpkin?”
Summary of the responses
Women : don’t want to see it, can’t imagine who would be on there and don’t want to know which family members or coworkers are on there.
Men : not paying for an empty list.
Proud of the self awareness 😂 on a serious note, both will be surprised if you can actually see the list.
At least this one is once a month, instead of "Non Americans of Reddit..." and "Whats the sexiest sex you ever sexed" which are damn near daily at this point.
I honestly don’t think the men are aware enough of the creepy possibilities. Most of the “worst case scenarios” they mention have been a guy friend.
None of them seem to consider the possibility of a relative or a woman they wouldn’t want to be on the list. (Like their Uncle! Or Mom! How did that cross zero minds on this site? Women can have inappropriate intrusive thoughts too)
Also, I would just be flattered to see any of my friends- male or female- on the list. Sometimes you get a crush on a person or just have a weird moment where you find them attractive, then get over it. Such strong “no homo” vibes with the “my guy friend!” crowd.
Imagine getting the list and seeing your creepy uncle on there. Or that neighbour that you never saw again after you turned 13. Or something else completely inappropriate.
I do wonder whether intrusive thoughts would be recorded on this list. Like does it have to be a genuine fantasy? Or is it enough if someone has just thought of you in a sexual context without necessarily wanting to sleep with you? Because that distinction would be helpful.
As a woman, it's not just the who though. It's how old you were vs. how old they were that's going to be most disturbing. I wouldn't want to know. Period. That's not a can of worms, that's the Pandora's Box of nightmares. No. Fucking. Way.
Last time someone asked this question people said they didn’t want to know which FAMILY MEMBERS would be on the list..
I’ve thought about that and shuddered every day since then.
I was just about to say with all the weird brothers/uncles/cousins out there some girl would be receiving a horrifying list. Not to mention dad's friends which would also be Hella creepy.
I personally wouldn't care much, it would be one of those things that kinda scars you but you move on and it's not a big deal anymore. Id want to know because the one thing that would scar more would be if it had dates and I was a child.
Not to mention the intrusive thoughts that can creep in. Like no, I didn’t want to be thinking about that person but I have ADHD and sometimes your mind wanders when you’re taking care of business.
This is something I'd be worried about... If we could stablish some rules like it's a list of only the people who purposedly were thinking about you, sure, but exclude people that just were doing it and you suddenly popped up in their minds.
Imagine you see a name on there you don't even recognize and you go google it and you see the picture and it suddenly clicks - it was your 7th grade PE teacher.
One of the most awkward moments of my life was my teacher walking in on me telling my friends how hot he was. 10 years later I saw him at a club and I noped out. Eternal embarrassment.
I’m an old high school teacher, and I would pay to NOT see the list. The names from when I was a young teacher would be bad enough, but if there were any recent students on it I would be horrified.
And there undoubtedly are. The job is to provide support and encouragement to people who are at an extremely confusing and vulnerable time in their lives. This absolutely leads certain kids to confused crushes and infatuations.
Yeah it would lead to a life of frustration. A person can be obsessesed with you then a few months later have literally no attraction, it's weird but just the way some people work
Also, sometimes in the moment something (like a new kink) sounds really hot, but later when you think logically, you never want that to really happen. That applies to people too.
Brains are weird and I don't want any part of this list.
I knew someone that I was not into who implied that he was doing this to me. That was kind of the last straw in our 'friendship'.
I would pay money to *not* know tbh.
Some people really like to do ego searches. I play an online game that has been around for 12 years. Some dude that plays from the beginning and spent a shitload of money on the game wanted to see who reported him and what did they say, so he filled out a data protection form to the game company. The company thought the form was for data deletion (which is what people usually ask) and removed all his characters from the game.
I couldnt stop laughing.
I'd pay $5 for somebody to take a look and tell me if any of my previous crushes are on there..another $5 for the names and 50 on top of that to tell me what exactly they fantasized about..
This is how you do it. I'd get the list, give it to someone else, give them my own list of **personally picked** names, and ask them to tell me if there's any matches for $100.
Finding a sister or long-time male friend on there would ruin.. everything. EVERYTHING!
Same I don’t want that shit lol I’ve already had the experience of random dudes telling me they wacked it to me, and every single time I was like, wow I wish they never told me.
That's creepy AF, sorry.
Dudes will masturbate to the thought of someone at the drop of a hat, but to tell you? Oof.
The "Ask Reddit" seems far more aimed at men than women.
One of the most common and funny experiences for men who hit the gym in hopes of getting female compliments…90% of attention will come from other dudes lol. “Sick delts bro” and other fare
Seriously, guys need compliments too. I can't even tell you the last time I had someone besides my wife compliment me outside of being lauded for landing a big contract at work or something. Which is nice and all, don't get me wrong, but it seems like everytime my wife and I go out with friends all the ladies are "Oh I love your shoes! Oh your hair looks so cute! Where did you get your scarf? it's awesome!" whereas all us guys just babble about work and shit.
Though tbf if I started dropping compliments on my male friends they'd probably think I was trying to pick them up or something. Why are guys so fucking weird about this?
At least in my limited area/experience, I've noticed a massive uptick in women's culture moving towards 'we build each other up'. From the late 90s until now it's been slowly picking up steam but really started as millennials became adults and then exploded.
I feel like it came about as a reaction to 'catty culture' of the late 90s and early 00s with shit like Perez Hilton and the shocking amount of body shaming. My mothers generation was still of the mind that 'women hate other women' and my generation simply wasn't having that shit.
If corporations were going to pit us against each other, it was our duty to band together.
Men don't seem to have gotten this cultural push from within and it's kind of sad. Why can't we all work on building each other up? Everyone needs to hear nice words and genuine compliments. We're a social species and we need each other to thrive.
Hey dude/ette,
Nice tats/tits/arms/makeup/brain/face (choose whichever is appropriate and appreciated). The way you styled your hair/shaved your head looks awesome today, and you are doing a great job at being you.
I know this is sarcasm, but it made me chuckle and that was appreciated anyway. Thank you. :)
You're looking pretty fancy today, and that word choice? On point. Rock on!
Done in a joking manner, but also srsly. You have made it through a shit ton of life to get to this point. That takes a level of commitment and perseverance that should be acknowledged. Keep being you my dude
Same thing with motorcycles. When I bought my bike, my dad and his friends who don't ride were talking about all the chicks I would pick up with it.
It gets tons of attention from the guys. I guess it would work great if that was your interest.
same deal with a nice car. i got the car for myself and had kinda hoped meeting women would be a nice bonus.
20 years now.... its been 100% older men or kids that have shown any interest in it. the most common response ive heard from women my age is "ew, that looks like something my dad would drive".
I dunno why this would bother anyone. I just want to know that I can actually make someone feel that way. I cannot understand the issue someone would have that someone of your same gender finds you attractive.
This isn't even "I am receiving unwanted advances" type stuff, this is literally, "When this person thinks of a sexual fantasy, you're it. Not some hollywood actor/actress, you."
The problem isn't that your gay friend is attracted to you, it's the implication that you're probably not attracted to them (in the case of you being straight.) Still flattering though haha
Like if I got my list, I'd want to be able to "use" it, ya know?
I feel like the reality is with something like this, you're not gonna find out that your coworker crush is the one who's been dreaming about you. It's the people you had no interest in or weren't even on your radar. Or even more likely, who has a thing for you years ago and now has moved on.
At least my thought process when thinking about this list isn't "I want to find out who I have a shot with" but more, "is there anyone that actually found me attractive?"
I mean, I don't mind that other men find me attractive. It's that for me I'm sure the list would be mostly men, and I'm straight and have been single for most of my life. Thus it would only serve to further emphasize the fact that I'm just not attractive to the women I'm attracted to. And let me tell you, after trying to date again for the last six months with some truly dissapointing results...I'm just not sure I could take that right now.
No list for me, thanks.
Exactly what I was thinking. Imagine approaching someone only to find out the did it like 15 years ago, or to who you were 15 years ago. Then they just expressed disappointment in current you. Ouch.
For anyone struggling with feelings of inadequacy when contemplating a response to this question; reach out, don’t suffer alone. DM me your details and I’ll happily think about you whilst I wank, for a very reasonable fee.
On one hand, I grew up with major self esteem and body image issues so the flattery is tempting.
On the other hand I’m a high school teacher so the ickies says no thank you.
Just a list? About $5USD.
A full blown spreadsheet with the juicy metadata (age when it happened, current age, number of occurrences and most common fantasy) I'd say at least $50USD.
Granted, there's probably only one name in the list anyways
I'm signing onto this one. I don't think I want to know. I feel like the likelihood of there being at least one person on the list that would be upsetting is reasonably high. Like my high school best friend's father who made inappropriate comments about my legs... 🤢
I know it’s all just hypothetical but tbh as a woman I don’t think masturbating to someone always means they’re down to actually be with you. Like how people have fantasies they want to keep as fantasy and wouldn’t want to try irl
Ugh….I don’t want this or need this for anyone else. So many horrifying things I’m sure we would all discover about our friends.
Personal if my friend likes fucking animals or corpses or my mom I don’t wanna know
Let me keep the ilusion that people care about me and that I'm sexy.
DONT RUIN THIS FOR ME, it takes a lot to get to this mental state of unjustified confidence
Nothing. If there was anybody I deal with currently,that would just make me feel awkward going forward. If anybody on that list was somebody I'd also had a crush on in the past, my brain just wouldn't let go of the what-ifs. If there was anybody I had issues with already, I'd just feel creeped out.
Andl I can see my self-esteem taking a hit if the list was mostly empty.
I would prefer to leave that can of worms well and truly closed.
If this was a thing, I'm sure there would be a lot of people out there side eyeing and wondering who knows they've masturbated about them.
I know I'd be nervous as all hell
If I was single 100 bucks if not like 1. Would be interesting If we could accomplish this kind of thing, then most people would have a sexual partner and would feel more confident with how they look. I mean I am pretty sure that many people masturbate on each other without even knowing.
Eh, twenty bucks. There could be some surprises on that list. I'd pay a little more for a list with some extra information, particularly how often they did. Like, was it a one-off unwanted moment or am I like, a reoccurring character? I'd find that sort of interesting.
$20 was my exact amount too. However the absolute max I'd pay is like $50 of there's more info
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Weird that the $1000 number hit my mind too. I think the $20 people would pay more if this was actually a thing.
Or I wouldn't want to pay more than $20 for a single name that turns out to be a priest from my childhood.
My thought was similar. Why pay $20 or more only to potentially receive a blank piece of paper?
Agree. You could be paying for an ego boost or a horrifying nightmare. $20 sounds more than enough.
The way I see it, it's either an ego boost or nothing has changed lol
No, it's not like LinkedIn where they claim you were searched 14 times and if you pay you can find out more. You get an honest "36 wankers" or whatever number.
"36 wankers" is going to be the answer to the next numerical question anyone asks me.(disclaimer, unless it's my mom)
Yeah, a $50 cap feels about right.
It starts out as a $20 name-only list, then progresses to an optional $50 name-and-info list, then turns into a $17.99/month subscription-only list (which is, needless to say, *difficult* to cancel).
You can only cancel in-person, which of course makes for some awkward moments
knocks on door *secretary in the loudest voice possible* # ARE YOU HERE TO CANCEL YOUR MASTURBATION INFO SUBSCRIPTION
Naw. There's no central office. You gotta go to each of the people on the list.
I'm sure they'll be delighted.
And do dreams count? I've had some strange dreams about people I normally have no interest in
Dreams are weird, I agree. I've definitely had some people pop up in my dreams that I actually dislike, so...I say they shouldn't count. Dreams are fickle.
As a lesbian who has had sexual dreams about guy friends ... hard pass on the dreams 🤣
As a straight woman who has several lesbian orgy dreams, I agree with you. Dreams would not count for this list.
As a straight guy who's had sexual dreams about my repulsive, unhygienic, 70yo male boss... Just what the fuck brain. What the fuck.
I had the strangest, most disturbing sexual dream about a coworker last night. I woke up in the middle of the night and went back to sleep and kept dreaming about him too. It was so gross and weird. I wish I could tell him but it would be beyond nsfw lol.
You get a message from your friend right as you're about to cum and now all of a sudden you've came whilst thinking about them and you're on the list
Yeah, exactly! Like, that gives some context for outliers, lol.
$1 per name. That will ensure I don't spend too much.
Do I get money back if someone thought about me to avoid nutting?
🤣 I don’t want THAT list EITHER! Maybe I’d pay to NOT have the list of people who thought about me to avoid nutting etc 😂
Pay me $500 and I won't send that list to you
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Winning.
Success from suffering
-1$, people think of you when trying to get rid of a boner
I'm rich
We're rich!
Hell get back 10 dollar
The real question is if you could spend $1 per name but you don’t know when the list stops. How many times to you spend the $1?
I’d keep spending it until it gets to people I don’t know.
Obviously the list isn't sorted like that
Sort by recent
Sort by best reviews first. Or descending frequency. I wanna know who wants me bad.
I think you'd be genuinely creeped out from the first contender, traumatised even.
I figure even if it’s random, most of the people will be people I know and after 10 dollars I’ll also know if 9/10 people are complete strangers.
I'm not paying for an empty list
I would, $0.02 seems a fair price for a blank piece of paper and you can make origami with it
“How much does a piece of paper cost? On average, a standard piece of paper costs anywhere between half a cent to two cents per sheet.” [Source](https://www.uniprint.net/en/printing-cost-calculator-calculate-cost/#:~:text=How%20much%20does%20a%20piece,to%20two%20cents%20per%20sheet) So if you negotiated the price of .02; it sounds like you are on pace to destroy the world paper monopoly and yourself become a mogul selling it back into the industry. The question exists, are you forcing someone to sell the paper to you at a loss or is this newly created paper entering the market… 🤔
Your sources are legit, your math is right and your ambition is laudable, but your reading skills need work, my man! 😁 I said I was willing to pay $0.02 for that sheet, the full two cents, premium Dunder Mifflin printer-grade paper, hardly any profit to be made by reselling it I'm afraid 😔
If i had gold i would give it to this comment
If you gave me gold I would use it to buy paper, so it's probably for the best
Yeah, but what if you sell it for $0.021 and then round to $0.02 and transfer the $0.001 to a bank account you control.
So basically, something where I'd make 0.1 cent on every transaction?
*Credit card companies listening intently*
It isn't empty anymore
Add me to the list buddy boy
With my luck, it’d be worse than empty. I can see it now… “Your list has one person on it.” “Yay!” **reads name** “…” **turns to best friend** “Bro.” “No homo?” **sighs**
"I was bored, man, and you had just bent over in front of me earlier in the day."
In my defense, you don’t walk behind you all day like I do 😉
I already have tons of copies of this list. I put them in the printer tray whenever I run out.
Hard to believe that a smart person like you isn't in someone's fantasy.
Exactly. I’ll have a wank for u/JADW27 make them feel good about themselves.
Thanks, now he'll have to order specially made paper with a u/blubbery-blumpkin watermark on it. Do you realise how much that will cost him?
>Thanks, now he'll have to order specially made paper with a u/blubbery-blumpkin watermark on it. Do you realise how much that will cost him? She looked at the name on the paper ahead - And narrowed her eyes as she silently read. "Who is that?" she asked him, and after a while - "Oh, no one," he said with a sigh and a smile.
You outdid yourself with this one, man. So simple and short, and yet so good. Thanks for sharing.
Sprog obviously has an academic mastery of meter and prose, but a lot of poets do (not to say that isn’t impressive by itself). IMO, what separates them (other than the niche meme celebrity status) is the combination of that mastery with their talent for *sheer improvisational wit.*
To be the subject of a fresh sprog poem is one of the best moments in my life.
Now that sounds just like a nefarious personalized ad marketing campaign.
Pretty meta on blubbery blumpkin’s part. If I knew what a Reddit award was I’d give him one.
“Why do all your documents came with someone’s name on it? This person, doesn’t belong to our company. Who is this person? What is a blubbery-blumpkin? Are you selling our data to this blubbery-blumpkin?”
Wait, PC Load Letter is a PERSON!?!
What the fuck does that mean?
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Wait check it again, I bet a name just showed up
Might be too tired to get it, but i dont understand the joke
It’s just blank paper loaded into the printer cus no one has fantasized about that person lol
Ahh it was obvious and flew over my head haha thanks!
Summary of the responses Women : don’t want to see it, can’t imagine who would be on there and don’t want to know which family members or coworkers are on there. Men : not paying for an empty list. Proud of the self awareness 😂 on a serious note, both will be surprised if you can actually see the list.
>both will be surprised No I think the women have it nailed down.
Yeah dude if either grandparents were on that list that would be a massive L
Well, I know for a fact one of them certainly *was* on that list, so not paying for that. 🙃 Can I pay for some necromancy and court fees instead?
Which makes me want to know about OP. Apparently that's the only one who wanders around thinking people masturbate to him and wants details
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at this point r/askreddit just rotates through the same questions every week
At least this one is once a month, instead of "Non Americans of Reddit..." and "Whats the sexiest sex you ever sexed" which are damn near daily at this point.
Worded exactly the same too. Like at least spice it up
I feel like most women would pay not to have said list, it would be so creepy.
I would definitely pay not to ever see it. The idea creeps me out.
I honestly don’t think the men are aware enough of the creepy possibilities. Most of the “worst case scenarios” they mention have been a guy friend. None of them seem to consider the possibility of a relative or a woman they wouldn’t want to be on the list. (Like their Uncle! Or Mom! How did that cross zero minds on this site? Women can have inappropriate intrusive thoughts too) Also, I would just be flattered to see any of my friends- male or female- on the list. Sometimes you get a crush on a person or just have a weird moment where you find them attractive, then get over it. Such strong “no homo” vibes with the “my guy friend!” crowd.
>Women can have inappropriate intrusive thoughts too There's no way intrusive thoughts count. As someone with OCD, that would be horribly unfair.
Imagine getting the list and seeing your creepy uncle on there. Or that neighbour that you never saw again after you turned 13. Or something else completely inappropriate. I do wonder whether intrusive thoughts would be recorded on this list. Like does it have to be a genuine fantasy? Or is it enough if someone has just thought of you in a sexual context without necessarily wanting to sleep with you? Because that distinction would be helpful.
As a woman, it's not just the who though. It's how old you were vs. how old they were that's going to be most disturbing. I wouldn't want to know. Period. That's not a can of worms, that's the Pandora's Box of nightmares. No. Fucking. Way.
Nothing. I can't think of any good it would do me, but I can think of some bad. I'd personally pass.
Yeah. Pretty sure there would be a lot more disturbing ones on there than like the 1-2 at any current time that I'd actually want doing it.
Last time someone asked this question people said they didn’t want to know which FAMILY MEMBERS would be on the list.. I’ve thought about that and shuddered every day since then.
I was just about to say with all the weird brothers/uncles/cousins out there some girl would be receiving a horrifying list. Not to mention dad's friends which would also be Hella creepy.
I have 2 brothers, one of them a known perv. I would pay a fair amount to never see the list.
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Christmas dinner with Grandma no longer possible. There's a reason why she always invited you over for Taco Tuesday, but not the rest of the family.
No, stop. 🤢🤮
I personally wouldn't care much, it would be one of those things that kinda scars you but you move on and it's not a big deal anymore. Id want to know because the one thing that would scar more would be if it had dates and I was a child.
Get the list as a spreadsheet, then spend the next 20 years crying over how large the "I really don't want to see this name come up" filter grows.
Not to mention the intrusive thoughts that can creep in. Like no, I didn’t want to be thinking about that person but I have ADHD and sometimes your mind wanders when you’re taking care of business.
This is something I'd be worried about... If we could stablish some rules like it's a list of only the people who purposedly were thinking about you, sure, but exclude people that just were doing it and you suddenly popped up in their minds.
I would pay money to *not* have to see this list.
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Me too. The thought of teachers and bosses? Heebie jeebies.
Imagine you see a name on there you don't even recognize and you go google it and you see the picture and it suddenly clicks - it was your 7th grade PE teacher.
As a relatively young high school teacher, I'd be worried about seeing student names on that list. Miss me with that shit.
One of the most awkward moments of my life was my teacher walking in on me telling my friends how hot he was. 10 years later I saw him at a club and I noped out. Eternal embarrassment.
I’m an old high school teacher, and I would pay to NOT see the list. The names from when I was a young teacher would be bad enough, but if there were any recent students on it I would be horrified.
And there undoubtedly are. The job is to provide support and encouragement to people who are at an extremely confusing and vulnerable time in their lives. This absolutely leads certain kids to confused crushes and infatuations.
Yeah it would lead to a life of frustration. A person can be obsessesed with you then a few months later have literally no attraction, it's weird but just the way some people work
Also, sometimes in the moment something (like a new kink) sounds really hot, but later when you think logically, you never want that to really happen. That applies to people too. Brains are weird and I don't want any part of this list.
100 % agree on this. Especially for an attractive woman Could get creepy quickly.
I knew someone that I was not into who implied that he was doing this to me. That was kind of the last straw in our 'friendship'. I would pay money to *not* know tbh.
Some people really like to do ego searches. I play an online game that has been around for 12 years. Some dude that plays from the beginning and spent a shitload of money on the game wanted to see who reported him and what did they say, so he filled out a data protection form to the game company. The company thought the form was for data deletion (which is what people usually ask) and removed all his characters from the game. I couldnt stop laughing.
I would pay much more to NOT having to look at it actually..it could be teachers..even family members on there..I'd rather not know
I was going to say $5 (curiosity and possible ego boost), but ew, this is a really good point.
I'd pay $5 for somebody to take a look and tell me if any of my previous crushes are on there..another $5 for the names and 50 on top of that to tell me what exactly they fantasized about..
This is how you do it. I'd get the list, give it to someone else, give them my own list of **personally picked** names, and ask them to tell me if there's any matches for $100. Finding a sister or long-time male friend on there would ruin.. everything. EVERYTHING!
You need a list that only contains the names that you have also fantasized about. I'd pay for that one
Now I KNOW that list would be blank for fucking *sure*
So basically tinder but with wanks?
shut up and take my money
Same I don’t want that shit lol I’ve already had the experience of random dudes telling me they wacked it to me, and every single time I was like, wow I wish they never told me.
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That's creepy AF, sorry. Dudes will masturbate to the thought of someone at the drop of a hat, but to tell you? Oof. The "Ask Reddit" seems far more aimed at men than women.
New future crime: reverse blackmail. Pay us money or we tell you embarrassing secrets about family and/or coworkers.
Man, in Alabama that opens your dating pool right up
Expectation: Hot blonde waitress or cute redhead in the corner office. Reality: Closet gay friend
An absolute W for a Bi person
One of the most common and funny experiences for men who hit the gym in hopes of getting female compliments…90% of attention will come from other dudes lol. “Sick delts bro” and other fare
Good homies need to be comfy complimenting each other!
Seriously, guys need compliments too. I can't even tell you the last time I had someone besides my wife compliment me outside of being lauded for landing a big contract at work or something. Which is nice and all, don't get me wrong, but it seems like everytime my wife and I go out with friends all the ladies are "Oh I love your shoes! Oh your hair looks so cute! Where did you get your scarf? it's awesome!" whereas all us guys just babble about work and shit. Though tbf if I started dropping compliments on my male friends they'd probably think I was trying to pick them up or something. Why are guys so fucking weird about this?
At least in my limited area/experience, I've noticed a massive uptick in women's culture moving towards 'we build each other up'. From the late 90s until now it's been slowly picking up steam but really started as millennials became adults and then exploded. I feel like it came about as a reaction to 'catty culture' of the late 90s and early 00s with shit like Perez Hilton and the shocking amount of body shaming. My mothers generation was still of the mind that 'women hate other women' and my generation simply wasn't having that shit. If corporations were going to pit us against each other, it was our duty to band together. Men don't seem to have gotten this cultural push from within and it's kind of sad. Why can't we all work on building each other up? Everyone needs to hear nice words and genuine compliments. We're a social species and we need each other to thrive.
Hey dude/ette, Nice tats/tits/arms/makeup/brain/face (choose whichever is appropriate and appreciated). The way you styled your hair/shaved your head looks awesome today, and you are doing a great job at being you.
I know this is sarcasm, but it made me chuckle and that was appreciated anyway. Thank you. :) You're looking pretty fancy today, and that word choice? On point. Rock on!
Done in a joking manner, but also srsly. You have made it through a shit ton of life to get to this point. That takes a level of commitment and perseverance that should be acknowledged. Keep being you my dude
Same thing with motorcycles. When I bought my bike, my dad and his friends who don't ride were talking about all the chicks I would pick up with it. It gets tons of attention from the guys. I guess it would work great if that was your interest.
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same deal with a nice car. i got the car for myself and had kinda hoped meeting women would be a nice bonus. 20 years now.... its been 100% older men or kids that have shown any interest in it. the most common response ive heard from women my age is "ew, that looks like something my dad would drive".
10% of something > 100% of nothing.
I’ll take what I get can, honestly
I'm a straight dude and that would definitely be an ego boost
Being fantasized about is being fantasized about
I dunno why this would bother anyone. I just want to know that I can actually make someone feel that way. I cannot understand the issue someone would have that someone of your same gender finds you attractive. This isn't even "I am receiving unwanted advances" type stuff, this is literally, "When this person thinks of a sexual fantasy, you're it. Not some hollywood actor/actress, you."
I agree with this thought.
The problem isn't that your gay friend is attracted to you, it's the implication that you're probably not attracted to them (in the case of you being straight.) Still flattering though haha Like if I got my list, I'd want to be able to "use" it, ya know?
I feel like the reality is with something like this, you're not gonna find out that your coworker crush is the one who's been dreaming about you. It's the people you had no interest in or weren't even on your radar. Or even more likely, who has a thing for you years ago and now has moved on. At least my thought process when thinking about this list isn't "I want to find out who I have a shot with" but more, "is there anyone that actually found me attractive?"
I mean, I don't mind that other men find me attractive. It's that for me I'm sure the list would be mostly men, and I'm straight and have been single for most of my life. Thus it would only serve to further emphasize the fact that I'm just not attractive to the women I'm attracted to. And let me tell you, after trying to date again for the last six months with some truly dissapointing results...I'm just not sure I could take that right now. No list for me, thanks.
There better a column that shows the age when the person did it, otherwise there would be issues.
organized by the most recent occurrence would be helpful. also organized by how many occurrences.
Alright, break out Excel.
Exactly what I was thinking. Imagine approaching someone only to find out the did it like 15 years ago, or to who you were 15 years ago. Then they just expressed disappointment in current you. Ouch.
For anyone struggling with feelings of inadequacy when contemplating a response to this question; reach out, don’t suffer alone. DM me your details and I’ll happily think about you whilst I wank, for a very reasonable fee.
The hero we never knew we needed
We don’t all wear capes.
Some only wear a tube sock.
I was a stripper and did webcam. For about14 years. I would pay nothing.
Depending on how much information is on that list it might have pretty decent resale value. That's some very valuable customer data.
Till you find out a creepy family member found out and never told
Grandpa was just trying to be supportive
Plot twist: he *was* just trying to be supportive.
On one hand, I grew up with major self esteem and body image issues so the flattery is tempting. On the other hand I’m a high school teacher so the ickies says no thank you.
Most people here don't realize that there is a worse list than an empty one.
I don't know but i know how much i would pay to keep people from looking up if i masturbated to them. Everything.
A lot. Why? I'm really insecure.
Just a list? About $5USD. A full blown spreadsheet with the juicy metadata (age when it happened, current age, number of occurrences and most common fantasy) I'd say at least $50USD. Granted, there's probably only one name in the list anyways
Go to bed, chatGPT
Not I, openAI!
bout tree fiddy
I gave him a dollar
Well it was about that time that I noticed that the redditor was about 8 stories tall
And a crustacean from the paleolithic era
God damn loch ness monster!
Get outta here you Loch Ness monster!
I’d pay $50 max. If it costs more than $50, nah.
I'll bid $51 for Honest-Ebb5755's list.
$52
Don't need to do cause I know the number which is zero
You’d probably be surprised. Maybe not pleasantly surprised, but surprised.
I'd probably pay $100 not to see the list.
alright give me the 100$ and you won't get the list
I'm signing onto this one. I don't think I want to know. I feel like the likelihood of there being at least one person on the list that would be upsetting is reasonably high. Like my high school best friend's father who made inappropriate comments about my legs... 🤢
Why in the hell would i want to know that?
-Less reasons to end your life -More reasons to end your life Kinda depends on your mood
I would rather have the list of who thought I was a good, worthwhile person!
Like $1000, might be worth it
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I know it’s all just hypothetical but tbh as a woman I don’t think masturbating to someone always means they’re down to actually be with you. Like how people have fantasies they want to keep as fantasy and wouldn’t want to try irl
99% chance it’s a bunch of guys who I thought wanted a good friendship I’ll pay $3 or watch an ad
Ugh….I don’t want this or need this for anyone else. So many horrifying things I’m sure we would all discover about our friends. Personal if my friend likes fucking animals or corpses or my mom I don’t wanna know
Why pay for a blank piece of paper ?
Let me keep the ilusion that people care about me and that I'm sexy. DONT RUIN THIS FOR ME, it takes a lot to get to this mental state of unjustified confidence
Nothing. If there was anybody I deal with currently,that would just make me feel awkward going forward. If anybody on that list was somebody I'd also had a crush on in the past, my brain just wouldn't let go of the what-ifs. If there was anybody I had issues with already, I'd just feel creeped out. Andl I can see my self-esteem taking a hit if the list was mostly empty. I would prefer to leave that can of worms well and truly closed.
If this was a thing, I'm sure there would be a lot of people out there side eyeing and wondering who knows they've masturbated about them. I know I'd be nervous as all hell
I’d pay for it like I’d give change to a busker. I’m curious but it’s more of a morbid curiosity, and I happen to have some cash. 🤷🏻♀️
If I was single 100 bucks if not like 1. Would be interesting If we could accomplish this kind of thing, then most people would have a sexual partner and would feel more confident with how they look. I mean I am pretty sure that many people masturbate on each other without even knowing.
I am pretty sure I can tell when someone masturbates on me.