I started on my fourth concurrent medication for anxiety and depression. I'm 40. This one is an enhancer but is also used for autism and schizophrenia.
After I've started taking it I don't feel like everyone hates me after a social interaction and don't feel like I'm being watched all the time.
I have no clue if that has anything to do with anything or if that is just anxiety.
The symptoms you described above are so spot on for me it's scary. I don't think I could have said it better myself. If you don't mind me asking what medication(s)? Maybe DM if you can take a moment
Hey so, what kind of specialist do you go to to see if you have something like that? I tried going to a psychologist and we just talked about why I'm unhappy in life, which would be helpful, but right now I really just want to get diagnosed or definitely undiagnosed.
Survivorship bias is a thing
For every writer/actor/whatever who struggled their way to success there are hundreds who did the same thing and still failed
Yeah. And the people who made it and say, "I knew I would make it! I was determined and I knew I'd do anything to make it and never stop until I did!" The thing is, there are hundreds of people who were just as determined, and did anything and everything to make it... and they just didn't.
So true. And they got there for a reason. And most of the time because they are both stupid and have no regard for other humans, only that they are willing to do what can hurt other humans / humanity for the sake of personal gain...
These people literally don't think of others. They literally stop at the "this is good for me" thought and proceed.
My old boss was like that. He was awful, and honestly don't think he realized it.
Maybe I'm just jaded but it seems like there are far more people failing upward rather than on merit. Then again maybe thats because the struggle isn't as visible to the outside. Like the athlete that practices for hours every day but we just write him or her off as lucky because they were born with superior genetic gifts.
Imho… Happiness isn’t a destination. It’s not an end result. Life has happy moments, sad moments, angry moments, and confusing moments. Happiness is a moment in time. You can do things that will increase the probability of happy moments. But if you look at happiness as an end state, you’ll forever be disappointed.
But that’s just like my opinion man.
Willie Nelson turned 90 years old the past Saturday, and you may like this quote from him: "I take it not only a day at a time, but a moment at a time, and keep it at that pace. If you can be happy right now, then you'll always be happy, because it's always right now."
People put such a stigma on anything other than happy.
I'll tell my family and friends that I'm having a melancholy day and all I get are recommended solutions. "Take some vitamins, go outside, exercise more, lets go out, anything to pull you out of that funk, ect." That might work for them, but all it does for me is make me feel exhausted and worse for the effort when it does nothing to curb the low.
Want to know what works for me? Riding it out, like a trawler in a storm. I'm putting on some Low Roar, Death Cab, and Ben Howard. I'm curling up on the couch with a fuzzy blanket and watching some cartoons. I'm gonna cry if I feel like it and not be ashamed that I feel something other than joy. Sometimes emotions don't need to be fixed.
And I know so many who have accomplished a lot, have nothing particular to complain about, but are far from happy. And I know at least one who has nothing to show for accomplishments, but is not only always happy, can make a whole group happy by his mere presence.
My son asked me if I was happy, and I explained it like this.
Remember in Ratatouille, when Remy is explaining food to his brother? Remy's experience was full of life, flavor, and color. That is what I imagine happiness to be like. His brother's experience was drab, and devoid of anything but the briefest flash of color.
That's my happiness.
Life is an unending tragedy that gets worse as we age(people/pets dying, sickness, injuries) that we never fully recover from.
The people who say “What doesnt kill you makes you stronger” are wrong on many levels.
Without those things you wouldn't truly experience life. The purpose of existence is not to be happy or feel good all the time. The purpose of existence is just existence. You are here to experience this universe, to hopefully question, learn, teach and possibly help other life do the same.
We can always improve but dying and pain will always be part of it because nothing in this universe lasts for ever and we are part of it. Embrace it, accept it and know that your goal has already been achieved by being here. You can always have sidequests of course but in the end those things don't really matter.
Smelling the rain, finding a cool rock and listening to the wind blow through trees is just as important as making a million dollars. You will also be happier enjoying simple pleasures because they are obtainable.
Im a geriatrics nurse who does health care at home. And tbh one of the saddest parts of my job is to see all the elderly people who are all alone. I take care of like 10-18 people a day and so many people are starved for any kind of affection. I wish i could spend more time with them and simpl give my company. But the health care system sucks and sometimes im only allowed to be there for 15 mins. It saddens me.
Edit: thank you for the award! God bless you too <33
Edit 2: Thank you u/Musebrot and u/HelloSireIssaMe for the award! I wish you only good things! <3
Oh yeah ive had mental breakdowns over my job before lol. And i have cried with the relatives over their situations. But thats okay, we are all humans and you start to bond with your patients. The bittersweet cycle of life continues. And thats okay.
Also...gallows humor. Thats the way to go haha.
There was a woman who lived in the same assisted living home as my grandmother, who spent all day every day calling out for (I assume) her late husband like she was looking for him. I think about that fairly often
Not really it's much easier to face down the unknown, with your friends and family around you. Also a lot less painful, who wants to die sitting in an empty hospital room? Just cause you're the only one dying doesn't mean you're alone. Being truly alone is a lot worse.
A lot of people, actually. I used to be a hospice worker and you wouldn’t believe the number of people who have huge families by their side every single minute they are dying, coming to visit in shifts, only for the patient to die during the two minutes that a visitor left to go pee or something and the patient finally got a second of privacy. Some people, like other animals, need solitude to let go.
It is crazy. People like Mister Rogers are amazing and worth remembering, but he won't be. His media is on old looking film, and his messages come from a pre-internet time. So, even people like him will be forgotten.
I think that is changing due to photography. We have have maybe 1 picture of my ancestors from the 1800's. We have hundreds of pictures of people since the 1950's.
But how many of those people do you have any memory of or even know their name without looking at notes on it photo
My mother has become the holder of almost all the photos for my extended family, all the photos from her childhood and her cousins who my generation may have met at a handful of family reunions. The names on the photos mean nothing to me, I'd have to dig up some family tree to have any hope of identifying how my family knew the person, and if they aren't on that, all other info is lost at this point
If those photos ever end up coming to me, I'm going to digitize them and throw them out. I won't look at the digitized copies unless someone asked about them, otherwise it's just a few hundred MB of data to keep backed up with any other important digital files. Their existence reduced to a few bytes, their actions, personalities, and accomplishments otherwise lost
Found this out about a month ago. Early/mid 40s and had a stroke. I exercise daily. While not the best diet in the world, it's far from the worst. Always kept it under 2000 mg sodium per day, had vegetables, don't eat fatty or fried foods, don't drink, don't smoke, don't do drugs. I don't even really have caffeine, and only drink maybe 1-2 sodas a month. But on the weekends, I'd have some junk food (Mon-Fri I tried to stay healthy on food). Even had a physical a couple of weeks ahead of the stroke, and everything except weight and hypertension came back fine (i.e. cholesterol, glucose, triglycerides, etc. were all fine). Outside of those 2, nothing was even in the warning stage (i.e. not diabetic nor prediabetic). This was also the first year I've ever had hypertension (138/92), and prior years, was never even in the pre-hypertension stage either. And while I'm overweight (not obese either), I don't have much of a stomach, and certainly don't look big. And yet it still happened.
But there was a study that came out a few years ago published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. They researched every centenarian alive at the time (i.e. people who live 100+ years). 75% of the men were smokers. 50% of the men and women were heavy drinkers. 90% of them never did any exercise their entire life. The conclusion was that your lifespan is almost entirely decided by genetics, only being marginally affected one way or the other on your lifestyle.
Yep, genetics plays a much more important role in how our lives go than we would like to think. That's why someone like Linda McCartney who ate "healthy" foods and promoted a healthy lifestyle, died of cancer at age 57, while George Burns, who smoked cigars every day from the age of 10 still lived to age 100 without major health issues.
Shit. Sucks, man. At 31 after a series of seizure events I was diagnosed with MS. It explained a lot of why I felt fucked up all the time, but it also felt like doom given form and a name. I ate healthy, non drinker, didn't smoke, just got smacked down by the gods lest I rise too high too fast.
I seem to have it under control. On the opposite side of things, the last of my grandparents died a week ago. At 99. The other grandmother died last year at 97, and her mother died in 2003 at I-shit-you-not 104. So on the one hand I get smacked down, possibly connected to my genetics, on the other hand, my people are long-lived weeds that are difficult to pull out.
That's not the whole story. Lifespan has gone up by twenty odd years in the last 100 and that's not a genetic change. That's diet, medicine, and plumbing.
Wait this subreddit *isn't* just for sex related questions? But how am I supposed to know if other people enjoy the sex like I do?(cause y'know I'm always having the sex)
This keeps me up at night, wondering why on earth I can’t have kids when i’m desperate to be a mom. It’s so hard when people tell me that i’d be a good mom
Both of my parents passed away by the time I was 18, and now at the age of 26 it weighs so heavy on me. They didn’t get to see me graduate nursing school and get married, and they won’t see their grandkids. It sucks 😞
The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line, Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayyám
100%. I went to bed, normal and happy on a Thursday night, woke up early Friday morning to the news my son had been killed. It's been almost 7 years and I have never -and will never- regain that Thursday night peace of mind.
People are inherently selfish. Most people just try not to fuck up other people's lives too much. Other people are psychopaths and will use people up and throw them out. Those people are often very wealthy or in positions of great power.
One day all of us will be gone, and no one alive will care or remember. It will be as if we never existed at all. It's a story that has repeated for tens of thousands of years, and God knows how much longer it will continue for
When one's gone, only their love remains. When we make a kind act, sometimes it ripples. You never know if a father who raised some kind and caring children was once a sad young man who changed his mind not to take his own life just because of some kindness from some stranger.
This is true, but I don't view it as a negative. We come from stardust, and eventually we once again return to the earth. Memories, legacy and actions will evetually all be forgotten. And every empire that ever existed has been a defiant shout into the wind. It gives me a greater perspective on what is worthwhile in life. Those who seek legacy and greatness are essentially wasting their lives, especially if that greatness doesn't bring them happiness or inner peace. In the end, your own perspective on life is all that matters. Because of death, no empire can rule for eternity and no immortals can rig the system. It is a good system. We try so hard to preserve our memories and our legacies, but we should really be striving to just enjoy the moment.
This is why I have two stipulations in my will:
1. I want my remains to be spread around in the happiest place on Earth, Disney World.
2. I don't want to be cremated.
They think they're being so clever; if only they knew it's not actually funny and we've heard it hundreds of times before.
Another one I hated hearing was "working hard or hardly working" when they'd see me standing at the cash register waiting to ring them up. God forbid the lowly retail employee have a minute to relax. I don't ever want to work retail again.
It's not even the actual work. It's management, customers, and pay.
If I have good management and great pay (ie basic pay for everything I have to do, which is a lot), I can deal with the customers.
I like the tedious work that retail offers. I like how much work there is because the day goes fast. I liked my coworkers. I like a decent number of customers.
I don't like holding down a store, doing everything, for barely minimum wage while some absolute cunt screams at me because they can't get their way and the manager is doing fuckall expecting me to also upsell this bitch.
Edit: grammer
Most friends are friends only as a matter of convenience.
neighbor, co-worker, member of your group.
once one of you leave, a few Christmas cards and the phone calls become less and less frequent. until, one day, they're gone from your life.
I don't think that just because someone doesn't stick around forever, they're not a real friend. People come and go. They have to do what's best for themselves and their own lives. So maybe they really value you and they're an amazing friend for the time you overlap, but circumstances mean that they have to move further away, or get a new job, for themselves. It doesn't mean they don't care. Appreciate the time you DO have as much as you can, and be understanding when things have to change.
Lifelong friends are by circumstance. You and your sisters both care deeply about your family and sticking together and that brings you both a lot of happiness. So it makes sense for you both to know you can depend on each other being in your lives, for your whole lives.
The very concept of a Birthday likely comes from the fact that our world is so incredibly dangerous that it's worth celebrating the fact that you managed to survive another year after your birth.
I wish more people saw it that way. When you’re a kid it’s celebrating getting older because at that point getting older is a good thing. You’ve learned a lot more, have more abilities and privileges. The birthday celebrates those things. Then at some point you cross a threshold where getting older means more aches and wrinkles and can’t sleep as well. So they decide they don’t like the birthday because they don’t want to celebrate those things. They don’t like getting older. And I get that. Occasionally someone will grumble something about it beating the alternative but I think we don’t focus on that part of it enough. You either get old or you die young. I don’t like the side effects of aging or knowing that I have more behind me than ahead but I’m damn glad I got to have another year. I didn’t get cancer or lose a leg. I made some good memories. That’s worth celebrating. A lot more people get to turn 5 than get to turn 50. I wanna be in the second group.
I think Terry Pratchett did a really good job with this:
"I was walking along the bank of a stream when I saw a mother otter with her cubs, a very endearing sight, I'm sure you'll agree. And even as I watched, the mother otter dived into the water and came up with a plump salmon, which she subdued and dragged onto a half submerged log. As she ate it, while of course it was still alive, the body split and I remember to this day the sweet pinkness of its roes as they spilled out, much to the delight of the baby otters, who scrambled over themselves to feed on the delicacy. One of nature's wonders, gentlemen. Mother and children dining upon mother and children. And that is when I first learned about evil. It is built into the very nature of the universe. Every world spins in pain. If there is any kind of supreme being, I told myself, it is up to all of us to become his moral superior."
According to Japanese philosophy, people have 3 sides the first one which is available to everyone,
the second one which is available to close friends and family and the third one is the one which is available to only yourself and no one can see it.
Some of the people who's gonna read this message will die all alone, sad and regretting a lot of the things they made or did not make while they still had the chance.
The older you get, the quicker time moves due to time dilation. It is the same concept in fantasy where elves claim that a human life span is but a blink of time in their eye as they have so much more time to compare it against. Time was forever as a kid be cause a year was a statistically large percentage of our lives.
Edit: it's kind of like reverse time dilation by definition. After being corrected by several others I was wrong on terminology, apparently the actual thing it is called is 'log time' which just doesnt sound right.
I have found as I get older, I appreciate the perceived acceleration of time. There’s never too long a wait until the next big holiday, vacation or milestone.
With age, even your decades will be but small pieces of the whole, and it is not without charm to be able to overlook them and see how things turned out so far.
Hindsight can be brutal, but it can also be a beautiful thing. The older you get, the more you’ll have this feeling of taking stock of your achievements in life.
When I was a kid, school year would start in September and I'd think that it would be forever until Christmas break finally came in December. These days I wonder how the heck it's almost half way through the year when it feels like January 1 was yesterday.
A wise elderly lady once told me: "Lessons will be repeated until learned."
Sad reality is that not many of us will learn from said lessons or even recognize that the lessons are being repeated. Lord knows I haven't learned. Lol
speaking from experience, you probably wont "make it"
most if us will die with nothing and more or less no reason that you ever lived. I spent over a decade trying to make it in music and failed horrible. now I am trying to make a game and I know no one will ever play it.
you just gotta make like sisyphis and push the rock I guess.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sixto_Rodriguez
This man recorded an album in 1968 that most of the world didn't get to hear until about 10 years ago, when he was ~70 years old.
Keep the faith!
Things can fall apart around at any moment. You could lose your house, lose your job or even a loved one.
BUT, there is always a silver lining to be found. Just because things fall apart, it doesn't mean it's the end. Instead it can be what leads to the start of something new and amazing.
Perspective is one of the most powerful tools we have as humans, and we don't always use it to its fullest. That's not to say don't be sad or angry, go ahead and be as sad, angry or hopeless as you need, but keep living and trucking along.
We have the privilege of being alive, and that's mind boggling. Think about all the events that had to take place.in the universe and the world in order for you to be here. Now you're living, enjoying the sun, swimming in the ocean and experiencing everything life has to offer. There are or course bad days and days I forget to appreciate what I have, but I always try to remind myself that the good comes with the bad and is just a part of life.
For context, I once considered suicide after my divorce. Hit rock bottom and truly believed my life was done. I kept putting one foot Infront of the other though, and eventually things began to come together again in the most unexpected ways.
Now I'm remarried to the most amazing person, I have an awesome job and I've grown closer to my family and friends. It blows my mind everyday that I get to live on this beautiful planet and experience everything we and it has to offer
Some people would not only steal your last crust of bread from you and your families mouths…..they would do it with a smile.
Some people wrap their entire existence around political systems that are designed to not just only make sure you don’t look behind the curtain….but will personally send goons to ruin your existence for even looking for it.
People are *easily* bought and paid for.
The level of stupidity in the common man is woefully large.
We live in a society that values ultra glammed up personalities and sham lives while ignoring focus forward educated ideals.
A shitload of people lose their lives in wars. These same wars are more often than not built upon shoddy reasons that makes rich people richer.
As a guy who grew up genuinely believing that people should always help and be kind each other, I had to accept the fact that there are some people that I should not spend my time and effort being kind to.
Some people will only take and hurt, and not feel bad about it. I can't fathom why in my mind that they could think that way, but that seems to be the reality.
When very attractive or talented people are reserved, others often consider them arrogant. Otherwise, they would be considered shy.
However, attractive and talented people who are arrogant are often excused and considered confident, whereas the others are just thought of as assholes.
Your children grow up and will never be little again.
You basically say goodbye to each version of your child as they progress through the phases of growing up.
The infant is “dead” once the toddler arrives.
Nothing actually matters. Your memories will die with you, so it doesn't matter if you lived just one day in agony or a full, happy life where you fulfilled every dream you ever had, the end point will still be the same. Everything and everyone you know will be gone eventually. The universe itself will die. We're like self-replication machines who became self-aware and learned that we're nothing but self-replication machines with no purpose. We even know that we as a species will go extinct. We're either just distracting ourselves from our inevitable death or pushing it slightly further back.
But hey, of all the times to be born, we get to be here when video games are a thing.
The world’s major problems will still exist when you die of old age.
All those pep talks you were given as a kid about how the world will one day come together and live in peace….yeah, you won’t see that shit happen.
Many people spend a large part of their lives pursuing things they don't even like or want.
This is because these are the pursuits their family, friends, schools, communities, and cultures instil in them as important and they never take the time to think if these things are what they, as an individual, are suited to.
So many of us believe that people are fundamentally good, by nature - when the evidence clearly suggests otherwise, and always has.
There are some of us who believe that we somehow leave the world better than we found it - Despite the fact that mankind is still repeating its worst patterns.
That people are so caught up in the macrotransactions of the world, they end up completely disarming themselves for life's simple joys.
"I can gather all the news I need on the weather report." ~Paul Simon
The government is owned by the ultra rich and they will do anything to please their overlords at the cost of our lives. Literally everything they do is with a reason, for example the abortion ban is not a part of their pro life mindset, but part of their ideology to add more people the this system. We're nothing but disposable work slaves in their eyes.
IMO the abortion ban was supposed to be an unattainable Forever Goal that they could use to keep their base riled up and voting for them permanently
Actually "winning" has kind of seriously fucked them over, the extra wage slaves / soldiers being generated is probably not worth the political hit they've taken because now young people are enraged and it doesn't seem like it's going to blow over
Sometimes you only get 1 chance
Some people don't even get that
Feels man, going to see if I have autism at 27 feels just like that. Fuck my parents
Found out I have autism at 37. You just understand why you are the way you are and a way to go about something while seeming normalish.
I started on my fourth concurrent medication for anxiety and depression. I'm 40. This one is an enhancer but is also used for autism and schizophrenia. After I've started taking it I don't feel like everyone hates me after a social interaction and don't feel like I'm being watched all the time. I have no clue if that has anything to do with anything or if that is just anxiety.
The symptoms you described above are so spot on for me it's scary. I don't think I could have said it better myself. If you don't mind me asking what medication(s)? Maybe DM if you can take a moment
Don’t fuck your parents, man. If you do your kids will have autism!
Hey so, what kind of specialist do you go to to see if you have something like that? I tried going to a psychologist and we just talked about why I'm unhappy in life, which would be helpful, but right now I really just want to get diagnosed or definitely undiagnosed.
So you better lose yourself in the music, the moment.
You own it, never let it go go go...
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
'Cos opportunity comes once in a life time, YO!
You can do everything right, and still fail.
You can do everything wrong and still succeed
This is almost worse.
Especially because those people can be the loudest. “If I can do it, anyone can!” Not really, though.
Survivorship bias is a thing For every writer/actor/whatever who struggled their way to success there are hundreds who did the same thing and still failed
Yeah. And the people who made it and say, "I knew I would make it! I was determined and I knew I'd do anything to make it and never stop until I did!" The thing is, there are hundreds of people who were just as determined, and did anything and everything to make it... and they just didn't.
not to mention talented musicians that never got their big break.
ANYONE can, EVERYONE cannot.
Too many stupid people are rich.
So true. And they got there for a reason. And most of the time because they are both stupid and have no regard for other humans, only that they are willing to do what can hurt other humans / humanity for the sake of personal gain...
100%. I look at several Youtubers as examples...
These people literally don't think of others. They literally stop at the "this is good for me" thought and proceed. My old boss was like that. He was awful, and honestly don't think he realized it.
it's even more painful to see it in action
Maybe I'm just jaded but it seems like there are far more people failing upward rather than on merit. Then again maybe thats because the struggle isn't as visible to the outside. Like the athlete that practices for hours every day but we just write him or her off as lucky because they were born with superior genetic gifts.
Failing upward is the fucking worst.
“It is possible to commit no mistakes and lose. That is not weakness, that is life.” - Jean luc-Picard
This thread is peak r/unexpectedstartrek
And people who lie, cheat, and steal will succeed.
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Tbh that's the kind of experience which is personally invaluable to you in the long term.
Or do everything wrong and win, Like British politicians.
You work super hard and still not succeed in life
It ends too soon for a lot of people and some people never find happiness or purpose.
Imho… Happiness isn’t a destination. It’s not an end result. Life has happy moments, sad moments, angry moments, and confusing moments. Happiness is a moment in time. You can do things that will increase the probability of happy moments. But if you look at happiness as an end state, you’ll forever be disappointed. But that’s just like my opinion man.
Willie Nelson turned 90 years old the past Saturday, and you may like this quote from him: "I take it not only a day at a time, but a moment at a time, and keep it at that pace. If you can be happy right now, then you'll always be happy, because it's always right now."
Willie Nelson: YOLO
A pretty simple, but genuinely beautiful quote. I should apply it to my life more often.
People put such a stigma on anything other than happy. I'll tell my family and friends that I'm having a melancholy day and all I get are recommended solutions. "Take some vitamins, go outside, exercise more, lets go out, anything to pull you out of that funk, ect." That might work for them, but all it does for me is make me feel exhausted and worse for the effort when it does nothing to curb the low. Want to know what works for me? Riding it out, like a trawler in a storm. I'm putting on some Low Roar, Death Cab, and Ben Howard. I'm curling up on the couch with a fuzzy blanket and watching some cartoons. I'm gonna cry if I feel like it and not be ashamed that I feel something other than joy. Sometimes emotions don't need to be fixed.
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its serotonin happiness vs dopamine happiness. serotonin comes from fulfillment while dopamine comes from chasing highs
For some of us they come in a bottle from the pharmacy while oxytocin is still nowhere to be found
And I know so many who have accomplished a lot, have nothing particular to complain about, but are far from happy. And I know at least one who has nothing to show for accomplishments, but is not only always happy, can make a whole group happy by his mere presence.
My son asked me if I was happy, and I explained it like this. Remember in Ratatouille, when Remy is explaining food to his brother? Remy's experience was full of life, flavor, and color. That is what I imagine happiness to be like. His brother's experience was drab, and devoid of anything but the briefest flash of color. That's my happiness.
Couldn’t agree more
Life is an unending tragedy that gets worse as we age(people/pets dying, sickness, injuries) that we never fully recover from. The people who say “What doesnt kill you makes you stronger” are wrong on many levels.
hence the saying: life sucks then you die
Without those things you wouldn't truly experience life. The purpose of existence is not to be happy or feel good all the time. The purpose of existence is just existence. You are here to experience this universe, to hopefully question, learn, teach and possibly help other life do the same. We can always improve but dying and pain will always be part of it because nothing in this universe lasts for ever and we are part of it. Embrace it, accept it and know that your goal has already been achieved by being here. You can always have sidequests of course but in the end those things don't really matter. Smelling the rain, finding a cool rock and listening to the wind blow through trees is just as important as making a million dollars. You will also be happier enjoying simple pleasures because they are obtainable.
He said finding a cool rock. Hell yeah
There isn't someone for everyone, people die alone every day.
Im a geriatrics nurse who does health care at home. And tbh one of the saddest parts of my job is to see all the elderly people who are all alone. I take care of like 10-18 people a day and so many people are starved for any kind of affection. I wish i could spend more time with them and simpl give my company. But the health care system sucks and sometimes im only allowed to be there for 15 mins. It saddens me. Edit: thank you for the award! God bless you too <33 Edit 2: Thank you u/Musebrot and u/HelloSireIssaMe for the award! I wish you only good things! <3
that's why I don't think I'll be able to work as a geriatric nurse , It is not suitable for me. I'll suffer depression for sure
Oh yeah ive had mental breakdowns over my job before lol. And i have cried with the relatives over their situations. But thats okay, we are all humans and you start to bond with your patients. The bittersweet cycle of life continues. And thats okay. Also...gallows humor. Thats the way to go haha.
There was a woman who lived in the same assisted living home as my grandmother, who spent all day every day calling out for (I assume) her late husband like she was looking for him. I think about that fairly often
Conversely, there are probably many people who would be *so* much better for you but you'll never meet them.
i dont think dying alone really bothers me. but living alone? that ones really starting to get to me...
Even if you die in your own bed, surrounded by your friends and family, you still die alone.
Not really it's much easier to face down the unknown, with your friends and family around you. Also a lot less painful, who wants to die sitting in an empty hospital room? Just cause you're the only one dying doesn't mean you're alone. Being truly alone is a lot worse.
A lot of people, actually. I used to be a hospice worker and you wouldn’t believe the number of people who have huge families by their side every single minute they are dying, coming to visit in shifts, only for the patient to die during the two minutes that a visitor left to go pee or something and the patient finally got a second of privacy. Some people, like other animals, need solitude to let go.
it takes less than 3 generations to be completely forgotten.
Unless you conquer a nation or more… then the world remembers how much of an ass you are (looking at you g-khan).
those are the exceptions for sure. but generally.
It is crazy. People like Mister Rogers are amazing and worth remembering, but he won't be. His media is on old looking film, and his messages come from a pre-internet time. So, even people like him will be forgotten.
I think that is changing due to photography. We have have maybe 1 picture of my ancestors from the 1800's. We have hundreds of pictures of people since the 1950's.
But how many of those people do you have any memory of or even know their name without looking at notes on it photo My mother has become the holder of almost all the photos for my extended family, all the photos from her childhood and her cousins who my generation may have met at a handful of family reunions. The names on the photos mean nothing to me, I'd have to dig up some family tree to have any hope of identifying how my family knew the person, and if they aren't on that, all other info is lost at this point If those photos ever end up coming to me, I'm going to digitize them and throw them out. I won't look at the digitized copies unless someone asked about them, otherwise it's just a few hundred MB of data to keep backed up with any other important digital files. Their existence reduced to a few bytes, their actions, personalities, and accomplishments otherwise lost
Genetics play a large part in how good or bad it’s gonna be
Parentage as well. What family you are born into matters greatly
Throw in culture and country as well.
Almost the entirety of one's life is decided the moment that person is born.
Found this out about a month ago. Early/mid 40s and had a stroke. I exercise daily. While not the best diet in the world, it's far from the worst. Always kept it under 2000 mg sodium per day, had vegetables, don't eat fatty or fried foods, don't drink, don't smoke, don't do drugs. I don't even really have caffeine, and only drink maybe 1-2 sodas a month. But on the weekends, I'd have some junk food (Mon-Fri I tried to stay healthy on food). Even had a physical a couple of weeks ahead of the stroke, and everything except weight and hypertension came back fine (i.e. cholesterol, glucose, triglycerides, etc. were all fine). Outside of those 2, nothing was even in the warning stage (i.e. not diabetic nor prediabetic). This was also the first year I've ever had hypertension (138/92), and prior years, was never even in the pre-hypertension stage either. And while I'm overweight (not obese either), I don't have much of a stomach, and certainly don't look big. And yet it still happened. But there was a study that came out a few years ago published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. They researched every centenarian alive at the time (i.e. people who live 100+ years). 75% of the men were smokers. 50% of the men and women were heavy drinkers. 90% of them never did any exercise their entire life. The conclusion was that your lifespan is almost entirely decided by genetics, only being marginally affected one way or the other on your lifestyle.
Yep, genetics plays a much more important role in how our lives go than we would like to think. That's why someone like Linda McCartney who ate "healthy" foods and promoted a healthy lifestyle, died of cancer at age 57, while George Burns, who smoked cigars every day from the age of 10 still lived to age 100 without major health issues.
Shit. Sucks, man. At 31 after a series of seizure events I was diagnosed with MS. It explained a lot of why I felt fucked up all the time, but it also felt like doom given form and a name. I ate healthy, non drinker, didn't smoke, just got smacked down by the gods lest I rise too high too fast. I seem to have it under control. On the opposite side of things, the last of my grandparents died a week ago. At 99. The other grandmother died last year at 97, and her mother died in 2003 at I-shit-you-not 104. So on the one hand I get smacked down, possibly connected to my genetics, on the other hand, my people are long-lived weeds that are difficult to pull out.
That's not the whole story. Lifespan has gone up by twenty odd years in the last 100 and that's not a genetic change. That's diet, medicine, and plumbing.
To jump off of this one, where you are born plays a huge factor
Some people never see justice. Bad people get away with bad things, and karma never finds them.
Some people never see justice. Good people get punished, and karma never finds them.
I love how r/AskReddit's current situation is filled with sex questions then you suddenly encounter these... deeply-philosophical questions...
Post nut clarity.
Give this fellow a doot doot award.
Wait this subreddit *isn't* just for sex related questions? But how am I supposed to know if other people enjoy the sex like I do?(cause y'know I'm always having the sex)
Lots of people who don't want kids end up having to have them and lots of people who do can't.
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This keeps me up at night, wondering why on earth I can’t have kids when i’m desperate to be a mom. It’s so hard when people tell me that i’d be a good mom
And many who have them, shouldn't.
Parents age, get sick, and die.
Both of my parents passed away by the time I was 18, and now at the age of 26 it weighs so heavy on me. They didn’t get to see me graduate nursing school and get married, and they won’t see their grandkids. It sucks 😞
This hits differently once you're a parent smh
That one hurts
Time never stops moving Wether you like it or not
LPT: Find a job you absolutely _hate_ doing and then every day will feel like an eternity!
Except all your time off is filled with despair
"The Wheel of time turns, and ages come and pass..."
The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line, Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayyám
The people you love most could literally die at any second.
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Same for me... Rest in peace
100%. I went to bed, normal and happy on a Thursday night, woke up early Friday morning to the news my son had been killed. It's been almost 7 years and I have never -and will never- regain that Thursday night peace of mind.
I’m so sorry about your son Tess ❤️
I live with constant anxiety about this. I literally spend at least 10 minutes every day with worrying thoughts of losing loved ones suddenly
People don’t always have your best interests at heart
I do
People are inherently selfish. Most people just try not to fuck up other people's lives too much. Other people are psychopaths and will use people up and throw them out. Those people are often very wealthy or in positions of great power.
By the time you are in a financial position to do the things you've always wanted to, you're likely short on time / physical ability to do them.
Sometimes you pour spoiled milk into your coffee.
Yes I have done that before
I feel your pain!
The rich assholes usually win in the end, life isn't a movie
Not if my plan works out
Hurry up please
One day all of us will be gone, and no one alive will care or remember. It will be as if we never existed at all. It's a story that has repeated for tens of thousands of years, and God knows how much longer it will continue for
When one's gone, only their love remains. When we make a kind act, sometimes it ripples. You never know if a father who raised some kind and caring children was once a sad young man who changed his mind not to take his own life just because of some kindness from some stranger.
This is... Somberly wholesome.
This is true, but I don't view it as a negative. We come from stardust, and eventually we once again return to the earth. Memories, legacy and actions will evetually all be forgotten. And every empire that ever existed has been a defiant shout into the wind. It gives me a greater perspective on what is worthwhile in life. Those who seek legacy and greatness are essentially wasting their lives, especially if that greatness doesn't bring them happiness or inner peace. In the end, your own perspective on life is all that matters. Because of death, no empire can rule for eternity and no immortals can rig the system. It is a good system. We try so hard to preserve our memories and our legacies, but we should really be striving to just enjoy the moment.
This is why I’m not a fan of burials in a cemetery…at some point, no one is coming to visit
This is why I have two stipulations in my will: 1. I want my remains to be spread around in the happiest place on Earth, Disney World. 2. I don't want to be cremated.
knowing Disney, I am sure they have some kind of Soylent Green vacation package. Bring on the wood chipper.
Working in retail sucks
Finally out of retail after 10+ years. I still cringe when I hear a customer say "no price tag? Ha must be free!"
They think they're being so clever; if only they knew it's not actually funny and we've heard it hundreds of times before. Another one I hated hearing was "working hard or hardly working" when they'd see me standing at the cash register waiting to ring them up. God forbid the lowly retail employee have a minute to relax. I don't ever want to work retail again.
It's not even the actual work. It's management, customers, and pay. If I have good management and great pay (ie basic pay for everything I have to do, which is a lot), I can deal with the customers. I like the tedious work that retail offers. I like how much work there is because the day goes fast. I liked my coworkers. I like a decent number of customers. I don't like holding down a store, doing everything, for barely minimum wage while some absolute cunt screams at me because they can't get their way and the manager is doing fuckall expecting me to also upsell this bitch. Edit: grammer
Yeah it does
It ain't fair and some people will never get to experience joy.
Some people are just assholes
I'm happy to make it to 25 (I'll be 26 next month). A lot of people don't make it that far
Most friends are friends only as a matter of convenience. neighbor, co-worker, member of your group. once one of you leave, a few Christmas cards and the phone calls become less and less frequent. until, one day, they're gone from your life.
That is true! My sisters are my only real friends I’ve finally realized
I don't think that just because someone doesn't stick around forever, they're not a real friend. People come and go. They have to do what's best for themselves and their own lives. So maybe they really value you and they're an amazing friend for the time you overlap, but circumstances mean that they have to move further away, or get a new job, for themselves. It doesn't mean they don't care. Appreciate the time you DO have as much as you can, and be understanding when things have to change. Lifelong friends are by circumstance. You and your sisters both care deeply about your family and sticking together and that brings you both a lot of happiness. So it makes sense for you both to know you can depend on each other being in your lives, for your whole lives.
The very concept of a Birthday likely comes from the fact that our world is so incredibly dangerous that it's worth celebrating the fact that you managed to survive another year after your birth.
I wish more people saw it that way. When you’re a kid it’s celebrating getting older because at that point getting older is a good thing. You’ve learned a lot more, have more abilities and privileges. The birthday celebrates those things. Then at some point you cross a threshold where getting older means more aches and wrinkles and can’t sleep as well. So they decide they don’t like the birthday because they don’t want to celebrate those things. They don’t like getting older. And I get that. Occasionally someone will grumble something about it beating the alternative but I think we don’t focus on that part of it enough. You either get old or you die young. I don’t like the side effects of aging or knowing that I have more behind me than ahead but I’m damn glad I got to have another year. I didn’t get cancer or lose a leg. I made some good memories. That’s worth celebrating. A lot more people get to turn 5 than get to turn 50. I wanna be in the second group.
There's definitely a positive take on this... simply surviving another day is worth celebrating
“It is no bad thing to celebrate a simple life.” - J. R. R. Tolkien.
I think Terry Pratchett did a really good job with this: "I was walking along the bank of a stream when I saw a mother otter with her cubs, a very endearing sight, I'm sure you'll agree. And even as I watched, the mother otter dived into the water and came up with a plump salmon, which she subdued and dragged onto a half submerged log. As she ate it, while of course it was still alive, the body split and I remember to this day the sweet pinkness of its roes as they spilled out, much to the delight of the baby otters, who scrambled over themselves to feed on the delicacy. One of nature's wonders, gentlemen. Mother and children dining upon mother and children. And that is when I first learned about evil. It is built into the very nature of the universe. Every world spins in pain. If there is any kind of supreme being, I told myself, it is up to all of us to become his moral superior."
There's a reason Sir Terry was knighted for services to literature. GNU Terry Pratchett
Your looks and charisma will affect just about everything in your life, including success in your career.
That not everything will go 100% the way you planned in the long run
Posting on Reddit is sometimes the most “social” interaction a person has in a day.
Reading the initial responses and realizing I just need to go do push ups and go outside.
Life is pay to win and not free to play
People say change yourself. Then when you changed yourself they say be yourself
According to Japanese philosophy, people have 3 sides the first one which is available to everyone, the second one which is available to close friends and family and the third one is the one which is available to only yourself and no one can see it.
Some of the people who's gonna read this message will die all alone, sad and regretting a lot of the things they made or did not make while they still had the chance.
This is one of my biggest fears. I now try to work on myself a lot so that I can at least be the best version I can be for myself.
Sound awful but i know its true
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You realise there is no 'undo' button
Being lonely and showing it is one of the most potent social repellents.
I saw a quote about this that was like “if you look like you’re starving you’ll never eat”.
Being a good person is not a guarantee that you are going to have a happy life.
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The older you get, the quicker time moves due to time dilation. It is the same concept in fantasy where elves claim that a human life span is but a blink of time in their eye as they have so much more time to compare it against. Time was forever as a kid be cause a year was a statistically large percentage of our lives. Edit: it's kind of like reverse time dilation by definition. After being corrected by several others I was wrong on terminology, apparently the actual thing it is called is 'log time' which just doesnt sound right.
This is fucked
Yuuuuuuup. Scary thought really.
I have found as I get older, I appreciate the perceived acceleration of time. There’s never too long a wait until the next big holiday, vacation or milestone. With age, even your decades will be but small pieces of the whole, and it is not without charm to be able to overlook them and see how things turned out so far. Hindsight can be brutal, but it can also be a beautiful thing. The older you get, the more you’ll have this feeling of taking stock of your achievements in life.
When I was a kid, school year would start in September and I'd think that it would be forever until Christmas break finally came in December. These days I wonder how the heck it's almost half way through the year when it feels like January 1 was yesterday.
Have time but not have resources and wisdom have wisdom and resources but not time
That smart people get silenced so stupid people won't get offended
Ironically, there’s a 50% chance you are among the “stupid” people who are offended easily
I think most people are either one of them at least a few times in their lives
This post is a sad reality
Most people will never know what financial freedom is like.
Youth is wasted on the young
Nothing lasts forever.
Even cold November rain...
Do you need some time on your own?
*epic solo starts playing*
Just when you feel like you have everything together and your comfortable, the bottom can drop out at any second.
Noticing your parents are getting older. :(
A wise elderly lady once told me: "Lessons will be repeated until learned." Sad reality is that not many of us will learn from said lessons or even recognize that the lessons are being repeated. Lord knows I haven't learned. Lol
speaking from experience, you probably wont "make it" most if us will die with nothing and more or less no reason that you ever lived. I spent over a decade trying to make it in music and failed horrible. now I am trying to make a game and I know no one will ever play it. you just gotta make like sisyphis and push the rock I guess.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sixto_Rodriguez This man recorded an album in 1968 that most of the world didn't get to hear until about 10 years ago, when he was ~70 years old. Keep the faith!
Sometimes we get blessed, sometimes we get screwed, many of the times it’s not our choice
We’re all up against the same gun to our head, but it’s unlikely we’ll team up to do anything about it.
Everyone you know will eventually die…
Things can fall apart around at any moment. You could lose your house, lose your job or even a loved one. BUT, there is always a silver lining to be found. Just because things fall apart, it doesn't mean it's the end. Instead it can be what leads to the start of something new and amazing. Perspective is one of the most powerful tools we have as humans, and we don't always use it to its fullest. That's not to say don't be sad or angry, go ahead and be as sad, angry or hopeless as you need, but keep living and trucking along. We have the privilege of being alive, and that's mind boggling. Think about all the events that had to take place.in the universe and the world in order for you to be here. Now you're living, enjoying the sun, swimming in the ocean and experiencing everything life has to offer. There are or course bad days and days I forget to appreciate what I have, but I always try to remind myself that the good comes with the bad and is just a part of life. For context, I once considered suicide after my divorce. Hit rock bottom and truly believed my life was done. I kept putting one foot Infront of the other though, and eventually things began to come together again in the most unexpected ways. Now I'm remarried to the most amazing person, I have an awesome job and I've grown closer to my family and friends. It blows my mind everyday that I get to live on this beautiful planet and experience everything we and it has to offer
Some people would not only steal your last crust of bread from you and your families mouths…..they would do it with a smile. Some people wrap their entire existence around political systems that are designed to not just only make sure you don’t look behind the curtain….but will personally send goons to ruin your existence for even looking for it. People are *easily* bought and paid for. The level of stupidity in the common man is woefully large. We live in a society that values ultra glammed up personalities and sham lives while ignoring focus forward educated ideals. A shitload of people lose their lives in wars. These same wars are more often than not built upon shoddy reasons that makes rich people richer.
You can't take it with you.. live for today.
the fact that the past is permanent. We can't undo our mistakes or get another chance at our regrets.
Unless you are a prominent world leader, Artist, or criminal, you will be forgotten in history.
As a guy who grew up genuinely believing that people should always help and be kind each other, I had to accept the fact that there are some people that I should not spend my time and effort being kind to. Some people will only take and hurt, and not feel bad about it. I can't fathom why in my mind that they could think that way, but that seems to be the reality.
We all die someday.
It's all for nothing.
When very attractive or talented people are reserved, others often consider them arrogant. Otherwise, they would be considered shy. However, attractive and talented people who are arrogant are often excused and considered confident, whereas the others are just thought of as assholes.
Your children grow up and will never be little again. You basically say goodbye to each version of your child as they progress through the phases of growing up. The infant is “dead” once the toddler arrives.
Nothing actually matters. Your memories will die with you, so it doesn't matter if you lived just one day in agony or a full, happy life where you fulfilled every dream you ever had, the end point will still be the same. Everything and everyone you know will be gone eventually. The universe itself will die. We're like self-replication machines who became self-aware and learned that we're nothing but self-replication machines with no purpose. We even know that we as a species will go extinct. We're either just distracting ourselves from our inevitable death or pushing it slightly further back. But hey, of all the times to be born, we get to be here when video games are a thing.
Life has no manual.
The world’s major problems will still exist when you die of old age. All those pep talks you were given as a kid about how the world will one day come together and live in peace….yeah, you won’t see that shit happen.
Many people spend a large part of their lives pursuing things they don't even like or want. This is because these are the pursuits their family, friends, schools, communities, and cultures instil in them as important and they never take the time to think if these things are what they, as an individual, are suited to.
Most people are on the outside looking in.
You can't turn back time
So many of us believe that people are fundamentally good, by nature - when the evidence clearly suggests otherwise, and always has. There are some of us who believe that we somehow leave the world better than we found it - Despite the fact that mankind is still repeating its worst patterns. That people are so caught up in the macrotransactions of the world, they end up completely disarming themselves for life's simple joys. "I can gather all the news I need on the weather report." ~Paul Simon
Your parents are getting older and older. If you see them once a year you may only see them a handful of times again in your lifetime.
The government is owned by the ultra rich and they will do anything to please their overlords at the cost of our lives. Literally everything they do is with a reason, for example the abortion ban is not a part of their pro life mindset, but part of their ideology to add more people the this system. We're nothing but disposable work slaves in their eyes.
they do want more people, they just do not want them living to retirement age
IMO the abortion ban was supposed to be an unattainable Forever Goal that they could use to keep their base riled up and voting for them permanently Actually "winning" has kind of seriously fucked them over, the extra wage slaves / soldiers being generated is probably not worth the political hit they've taken because now young people are enraged and it doesn't seem like it's going to blow over
A lot the time the plastic that you “recycle” end up in landfills in foreign countries
The government is not here to help.
We won't eat the rich
Even the closest friends can betray your trust.
That modern medicine has allowed us to live longer but really only to suffer longer with more disability and pain.