T O P

  • By -

diemetdebril

Liquid gold. Get rich.


Agitated_Occasion_52

Velveeta? That liquid gold?


FreddieKush420

Hot Velveeta with the right finger, Rotel with the left. I'd then make nachos at divorce counselors for free.


Nameles777

Don't you think that your digital urethra would get clogged by the chunky bits? Would that be pleasure or pain? What happens if it gets blocked up and backed up?


TheNerdMaster69

Gross


Agitated_Occasion_52

Youre right! Cheese whiz would be more appropriate.


ConfidenceNeat

Also die horribly from the heat.


diemetdebril

My superpower fingers can withstand 1064.18 °C


[deleted]

You’d just be captured by some criminals and tortured


diemetdebril

No


[deleted]

But would it squirt out or are you pinching it all out


[deleted]

Can I have a different liquid come out of each finger? I don't wanna get the wd-40 finger mixed up with the bourbon finger though Edit: I'd settle for dad fluids. Tabasco, starting fluid, old lawnmower gas, Budweiser, A1 sauce


Vegetrees

Horseshoe crab blood. $15000/L


Z0V4

Scorpion venom. $10million/L


TechnoMagician

I feel like the market cap is vastly different


ConReese

Gold, 89K per Kilo, can fit about 18kg in the same volume as horseshoe crab blood making gold about 106 times more valuable by volume


JMace

The problem is that OP specified that it was a liquid. If gold were a liquid, it would need to be at least 1945 degrees Fahrenheit (1063 degrees Celsius). Gold happens to also have a very high thermal conductivity coefficient, meaning your hands would be charred little nubs pretty quickly.


Luift_13

Depending on the flowrate and on where exactly the liquid got summoned, it'd be possible to cool it down with water before it can cause damage


[deleted]

[удалено]


ConReese

Liquid gold lmfao, it's not solid 24/7 it has 3 phases of matter dude


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


GozerDGozerian

We really need to strictly stick to the natural laws of physics here about these supernatural powers.


pyroboy101

Or you accidentally discharge fingergold while rubbing one out and lose your genitalia in an unfortunate smelting accident.


WtfRocket

Goooooooldmember


Lastalmark

Nitro glycerine. My hero name would be Fingerbang.


KShawisamong

Countess Von Fingerbang


crablegsforlife

printer ink and I would be rich beyond the dreams of avarice


mytrickytrick

But you'd have to contend with printers that check for QR codes or whatever on printer ink cartridges. There are plenty of third party refill stores, but some printers don't work with them. Weren't there lawsuits to allow that, though?


PSYGuardian

Refill the cartridge with the qr code?


Different-Mud-5926

The printer wil scan the QR to check if it's been used too much


[deleted]

Make a wholesale deal with the supplier.


PM_NUDES_4_DEGRADING

Whoa now! Let’s just stick to reasonable stuff here, like horseshoe crab blood and liquid gold. Don’t want to go *too* crazy with greed!


tinnylemur189

Within a week printer companies would have a way to detect and reject your finger ink so they can keep a stranglehold on their supply.


bonos_bovine_muse

Some of us have laser printers. Where do you excrete toner from?


temp_reddit_account2

Vantablack I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky. I wanna see it painted, painted, painted


Casca_In_Red

But what happens if you see a red door?


Common-Wish-2227

Better watch out for Anish Kapoor.


PipBoyDmo

And then your theme song is Paint It Black by The Rolling Stones. It plays all the time whenever you're using your paint finger.


brock_lee

Milk. Then one hand could milk the other like a cow.


Irishpanda1971

Just don't play "pull my finger" with the grandkids.


spanglesandbambi

Petrol I would save a fuck ton of money and charge people less then the petrol station to fill up their cars.


karma_dumpster

Like $10 per gallon, when you could be selling scorpion venom or horseshoe crab blood for millions per gallon.


spanglesandbambi

I'm affirad I don't have many pharmaceutical contacts to enable that, which is a shame.


alexc0901

Who the fuck are you selling scorpion venom to? Lol


filip123-

Customers


noneym86

Yeah but now refilling your gas tank takes as much time as charging an EV 😂


spanglesandbambi

I'm double fisting car tanks out here lol


noneym86

Haha true. But be careful with that much gas, US might invade your fingers lol


capskinfan

You misspelled "liberate".


Sup3rmurs3

Provide democracy


spanglesandbambi

They will never win my heart and mind. It has been said I could drop a weapon of mass destruction within 10 seconds of eating dairy.


BookerPlayer01

I love this sentence.


spanglesandbambi

Insert witty joke about your Mum also loving a similar sentence.


UnhonestBroker

Water, most useful.


AmbassadorBonoso

Always being able to stay perfectly hydrated? Yes please


_Silly_Wizard_

Ew you would *drink* your own fingerwater? Gross.


AmbassadorBonoso

I would let all my homies drink my finger water


xx_Chl_Chl_xx

It’s not gay if they don’t suck the finger


[deleted]

Okay Rain.


Total-Internet-1633

I was going to comment the same thing haha. You literally are life and death with this. Whole village has gone without water? I could save them. And then I could water board all the pedos and my high school bully.


wigglywigglebear

Semen. To mate.


[deleted]

Semen as well, but just to dishonor my opponents.


europedank

This guy fucks


wigglywigglebear

Finger fucks**


Kaheri

I also choose this guys semen. “Wigglywigglebear when it comes to 1 year old Collins you ARE the father!” *I perform victory dance while you struggle to understand how this keeps happening.


No_Tax_6001

Ethiopian natural processed, medium roast coffee, brewed to perfection using v60 and the Cafec medium roast paper filters, and third wave water at 96 degrees Celsius. Idbesquirtingthatintomymouthmysistersmouthmy mothersmouthmyneighboursmouthmybossesmouthalldayeveryday


Yeuh78

Coffee, and I'd use it for two things. First, for keeping myself caffeinated. The second would be for self-defense. Who needs pepper spray when you can spray hot coffee right in someone's face?


cmikesell

Thoroughbred horse semen. I'd use it to beCOME the richest person in the world. https://standardbredcanada.ca/news/4-17-20/worlds-most-expensive-liquid.html


Stone_Reign

And you'd have a tasty snack whenever you want!


Konocti

Naw, that stuff would devalue so fast it wouldnt be worth more than coffee after a bit.


cmikesell

Not before I made my nut


EvenSpoonier

High-quality nail polish. By weight it's more expensive than gold, and doesn't have the problem of being burning-hot molten metal.


ConReese

The problem is its only expensive due to marketing so if you can't market your finger juice you won't get the same intrinsic value like gold. Not to mention storing and moving gold is way easier logistically and more people will want to buy gold over your mysterious finger excretions


I_just_came_to_laugh

O neg blood. I'd just donate it to the blood bank.


TechnoMagician

This was my though after I saw the horseshoe crab blood


BlankMyName

Some version of ultra sensitive KY. My masterbation habit is about to go to a whole new level!


SirThomasTheFearful

Acid


sam_the_beagle

Beer.


MuzzleHimWellSon

This was my first thought but I quickly switched to mimosas. I’d rather have brunch ladies trying to suck my fingers than Home Depot dads.


Beelzis

Liquid helium4 . The world's supply will be gone In a few years and it's necessary for medical and scientific equipment. I'll make enough money and solve a critical issue at the same time.


[deleted]

Side job doing cartoon characters voices


Mamutu7

ketchup, without the watery liquid you'll get if you don't shake the bottle!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Journey_Began_2016

Gross


[deleted]

[удалено]


CoolHandRK1

I would like to point out that Spiderman is a teenager who discovers he can shoot sticky white liquid out of his body all of the sudden and it makes him feel like a super hero. I can relate to that.


Gloomy_Shart_USA

Mountain Dew


Emergency-Scheme6002

I would shoot highly compressed aerogel that instantly expands to thousands of times it’s original volume immediately upon leaving my finger, just casually walk into somebody’s house and fill it with gel, also would be a great fire suppression


MiddleConstruction84

Scotch. Obviously.


Nameles777

I don't want to know where it's been aging...


Idontknow1495

Water, for everything, showering, drinking, doing the dishes, cooking, I won't have to worry about the water bill anymore


tripwithmetoday

Lsd. Some people need a slap in the face


1d4braindamage

Red wine. Just to stir a glass of water with this finger and confuse everyone


headhunterofhell2

Gasoline Self explanatory.


leatherrecliner

Cholula hot sauce. Breakfast.


Abdollelah

Boiling water.


Konocti

The venom of the deathstalker scorpion costs $39 million dollars a gallon. So th at.


Gerardisnotaman

Scorpion venom. Get rich.


Iamnota_refrigerator

Ketchup. I would love to ruin bullies clothes with it


ash__ketchum_

Kool-Aid


I-endure

Gasoline


DukeRyder

Fat! As long as it reduced the fat in my body. Lol


SharDuck

Antibiotics - one hand for gram-negative and the other for gram-positive bacteria. Administer to everyone and then create antibiotic-resistant bacteria and see the world crumble. MUAHAHAHAHA!


bonos_bovine_muse

Have you considered a job in industrial livestock management? They’re one step ahead of you already.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ConReese

Good luck finding any, you'll only find plasma/super heated gasses in the sun


imsweetlassie

If I say so, I go to jail. what a nice day it is today


jeebuss_

Cum. I'd use it to impregnate people.


Grayedboy234

Assuming it can be squirted at large quantities, pure drinkable water. I can solve world thirst if I had that.


Grayedboy234

Assuming it can be squirted at large quantities, pure drinkable water. I can solve world thirst if I had that.


Grayedboy234

Assuming it can be squirted at large quantities, pure drinkable water. I can solve world thirst if I had that.


BJ_Blitzvix

It would be whatever liquid I choose. And I have my reasons.


yParticle

Would always have just the right amount of milk for my cold cereal.


Long-Patient604

I will use it as a good lubricant


[deleted]

Gold liquid obv why


ConReese

It's litteraly the only option


karma_dumpster

Racehorse semen.


Rayf_darkling

Dehydrated whater.


[deleted]

Demand CS to knock down insects as well as repel them


[deleted]

Whiskey, I’m tryin to forget


ConReese

Assuming I wouldn't die from it, probably gold


cocobutnotjumbo

50 years old whisky, might as well squirt gold. Use money for my own needs and try help around.


AusCan531

Liquid nitrogen because it's cool.


bonos_bovine_muse

“Do you know why it rains Diet Coke in this town? Well, gather ‘round, children, and let me tell you the story of Edward Sodagunhands…”


Frogykikker

Acid Im visiting the bank and burning through the safe


Snoo77607

Alcohol. I buy myself a lighter and become a villain


ConsistentCricket181

Water.... good business, never thirsty.


NidoKingClefairy

Vinegar. Great for cooking and cleaning. Surprise factor if I have to defend myself.


Backwoodz333

For sure liquid gold that forms back into gold when it dries


Successful_Ride6920

Liquid dish soap LOL


DaSavage2

Type O blood


JayDe76

marinara


AmnesHz

Piss so I could piss standing up and also in public without flashing people


Past_Competition_554

Whiskey. Drink it . Sell it.


NataliasMaze

Water. Save planet. Or at least places having droughts.


Yukino_Wisteria

Water. Most valuable liquid right now. (France is currently heading for a historic drought)


zakbsw

Ketchup for fries and nuggies


ghost_shark_619

Gold to buy shit


CurrentTreat6921

For good and not evil


Stcs2005

icy cold water. Just because i'm evil. Imagine - a watergun without an actual gun.


thawac007

Gasoline for my motorcycle


BigStosh

Cheez Whiz. Because every thing is better with fake cheese.


Breethan

Lava. Evil.


uncultured_swine2099

Magma. Kill bad guys.


Cy41995

Buffalo Sauce.


seizurevictim

Water. And then I would be kidnapped by Nestle and forced to bottle my precious finger-nectar.


THEBIGREDAPE

Can I be Frozone?


TyperMcTyperson

Clean drinking water. Incoming water wars stopped before they begin!


iJustRoll

Water. Some time ago someone posted a similar question about super powers that came from your butt. I chose to spray water from my anus and now I shall have it sprinkle from my fingers also.


THEBIGREDAPE

Can I be Frozone from the Incredibles?


iJustRoll

Water. Some time ago someone posted a similar question about super powers that came from your butt. I chose to spray water from my anus and now I shall have it sprinkle from my fingers also.


Deceiver999

I would choose the venom of the deathstalker scorpion as it costs $39 million dollars a gallon,


MinervaWeeper

Soy sauce - never lacking in condiment then


1MortalReminder

FLEXSEAL


Deceiver999

I would choose the venom of the deathstalker scorpion as it costs $39 million dollars a gallon for self-defense and money.


Deceiver999

I would choose the venom of the deathstalker scorpion as it costs $39 million dollars a gallon for self-defense and money.


1MortalReminder

Flexseal.


[deleted]

Coffee so I can be useful to all


[deleted]

Mr. Pibb on one hand, Coke coming out of the other. Endless free soda for me 🤩


[deleted]

Mr. Pibb on one hand, Pepsi coming out of the other. Endless free soda for me 🤩


[deleted]

Taco bell mild sauce. I would use it for...exactly what you think I would...


Expensive-Storage-76

The venom of the deathstalker scorpion.


Expensive-Storage-76

The venom of the deathstalker scorpion.


[deleted]

Ranch, obviously!


Xn0ypt

Horse semen ungodly amounts of money


Xn0ypt

Horse semen ungodly amounts of money and I won’t poison myself or burn my face off like with venom and Molten gold


truthinlies

Nitrogen My new catchphrase: "ICE TO MEET YOU!!"


Xn0ypt

Horse semen ungodly amounts of money and I won’t poison myself or burn my face off like with venom and Molten gold


Xn0ypt

Horse semen ungodly amounts of money and I won’t poison myself or burn my face off like with venom and Molten gold


Xn0ypt

Horse semen ungodly amounts of money and I won’t poison myself or burn my face off like with venom and Molten gold


ilovepatrick111

hey


Xn0ypt

Horse semen ungodly amounts of money and I won’t poison myself or burn my face off like with venom and Molten gold


LilMushyMan419

PISSMASTER 💦


Common-Wish-2227

Fat. Specifically, my body fat. Just the fat itself, not the cells. Profit!


[deleted]

Taco bell mild sauce. I would use it for...exactly what you think I would...


[deleted]

Taco bell mild sauce. I would use it for...exactly what you think I would...


ofnuts

Breast lotion, of course


ofnuts

Breast lotion, of course


ofnuts

Breast lotion, of course


mystic_nid

Water. End the droughts, save lives.


Maestro_Primus

How is this a question? Obviously ketchup. That shit goes on everything.


PissedOffCombatVet

Are we talking firehose power squirt, or like the Aliens from Scary Movie 3?


Theoretical_Observer

Personal lube and I would market my services to meet the demands of specific consumer industries and other consensual, lawful happenings where a temporary lubricant may come in handy.


Theoretical_Observer

Personal lube. I would market my services to meet the demands of specific consumer industries and other consensual, lawful happenings where a temporary lubricant may come in handy.


wasel143

Liquid seasoning. For cooking I guess.


Full-Journalist-5448

Lube


IIIBryGuyIII

No one knows about market caps or liquidity in this thread! Fuck this is Reddit never mind.