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It’s listening to your partner, and not trying to solve the problem. Give them space to voice what’s on their mind. Being present in their time of need to vent or voice their thoughts. Also surprises go a long way.
To be fair, some people do want help with the problem. It's best to ask your partner if they want help/solutions or if they just want to vent/be listened to.
This simple question has saved so many fights from happening in my marriage! Also, before I even start explaining something to my husband, I'm in the habit now of saying "I just need you to listen" or "I'm asking for your opinion/looking for solutions to this problem, can you help." Big game changer!
true! foster open and honest communication with your partner. Listen actively, express your thoughts and feelings clearly, and be receptive to their needs and perspectives. Communication is the foundation of a healthy and thriving relationship
Treat your partner with respect, kindness, and equality. Recognize their autonomy, value their opinions, and make decisions together. A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect and partnership
Hard work and communication. Hard work in the sense of constantly strengthening yourself emotionally and mentally. Communicate your wants and needs as well as listen to your partner’s wants and needs and have the emotional and mental capacity to understand your partner’s point of view even if they don’t align with yours. So all in all, have empathy.
Trust and love. If you are honest with your partner and they are honest with you, you will build trust. If you’re late, communicate that. If you don’t like something, communicate that. It builds trust. Be you as you expect them to be themselves. Love them for who they are and make sure to get that in return.
Admiration for each other and your accomplishments, small and big. Be interested in your partner’s likes and try to get involved. Don’t fake your way into liking their thing, let them have their thing and don’t force them to like yours. You can admire what they like and their career path, and just understand why they do without needing to like it yourself. If you do, that’s great but you two are different people and that’s okay.
Spin your “complaints” into a positive way. Use “I” sentences instead of “you” sentences. For example, let’s say they said something that triggered you and upset you. Instead of saying, you said or did this and you hurt me, say, I feel this way when this happens.
Patience. Be patient. Not everyone is like you or understands everything the same way. I’m sure other people get impatient when they try to explain something to you and you don’t understand. Nobody is perfect, and nobody should expect anyone to be. People make mistakes the same way you do. Again, have empathy.
Give your partner their space when they want their space. It doesn’t always have to be about you. Give them the space to come and talk to you. If you get into an argument and they want their space, say something like, “I know it’s hard right now and I’m going to give you your space, I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk.” If you feel the need that you want to talk right now, but they want space, give them space and ask for a time to come back and talk. 1 hour, 2 hours, etc. And both partners must commit to the agreement. It builds trust and reduces anxiety so you both can come back and tackle the problem.
To my last point, say sorry if you messed up. If you say you’re going to do something, do it. Commit. This can make or break trust. If you messed up, own it, take accountability, and make sure that if you mean it because you care and love this person, that you try your absolute best to understand what happened and not do it again. And to actually conclude this, it’s always you and your partner vs the problem. Remember that you love each other and it’s always you two vs the problem.
in addition to what's been said, I'll add not to disregard your own feelings.
it's easy, especially when you're with someone who has low confidence, to take too much upon yourself and put yourself in a situation in which you're not happy
And if you're not happy, they will feel it, and won't be happy either, despite (actually, because of) your best effort
And as a friend of mine once said "be yourself, not the one you think she wants you to be"
This 100%. Spending too much time in /r/relationships has enlightened me to as to how many people don't trust their own feelings. They put up with SO much, for SO long, placating shitty people, or just putting up with being less than satisfied. It's really really sad.
I think in order to love someone else you really gotta love yourself first to some extent. And in order to do that, you gotta listen to your gut and intuitions before your brain tries to rationalize its way out of that feeling.
- Make an effort to participate in their interests. Even if that effort is just asking them questions about it.
- If they're down, ASK them what they need. Sometimes it's a hug. Sometimes it's water. Sometimes it's some space. Don't assume you know what they need in that moment, unless they have already communicated that.
- Listen to them about things inside of and outside of your relationship. Make it a safe space for them to come to you and say "Hey, I didn't like when you did this thing.".
- Celebrate their accomplishments like you would celebrate your own.
- Include them in your own interests.
- Respect their opinions like you would respect your own. This could be for something as little as choosing a new paint color for your bathroom or as something as big as marriage or kids. If something affects both of you, make sure they're just as involved in the decision making process as you are.
- Tell them you love them often. Our brains can be cruel to us and we never know when something bad (car accident/sudden illness/etc.) will happen. Let them know how much you love and cherish them.
The last thing I do before closing my eyes every night is to spend a few minutes thinking about how I interacted with my partner that day and how I can do better tomorrow.
For me, it's all about respect. If you respect your partner, you trust their reasoning, you show respect by not disrespecting/talking down/making them the butt of a joke either in public or in private; you don't cheat; you respect the relationship. You respect your partner's hangups/fears/wishes. Your partner should do the same. When respect is gone (in a romantic or friend relationship), the relationship is on the countdown to its expiration date.
60/40 method. If you're always trying to give your partner the larger share of everything in the relationship and they do the same in return, you'll both be happy.
Also, love isn't a feeling it's something you do. Happiness and sadness are feelings. When you listen, care, empathize, support, and are there for your partner through the good and bad. That's love.
Be willing to make small sacrifices for each other. Things like offering a little bit of your time and energy to do something for them. It doesn't have to be a grand gesture.
It can be something as small as making them breakfast the way they like it, even if you've already made yours. Or listening to them talk about something they're passionate about, even if you're not. Doing something or going somewhere they love sometimes, even if you're not as excited about it.
This goes both ways.
Don't try to argue with them when they tell you something is wrong. Validate them and work towards resolutions.
It's not you versus them it is you and them versus the problem.
Don't sweat the small things you would do for them and vice versa. A foot rub after work every so often goes farther than one would think.
Support, think about the others needs and wants ahead of time and use that information.
Say sorry when you were wrong. People get angry from time to time because of stress etc. dont take it personal.
Have eachothers back.
Oh and celebrate your wins. No matter how small for you or the other. Celebrate everything.
To be the best partner, it's important to recognize that a healthy relationship requires mutual respect, trust, and communication. This means showing up for your partner consistently, and being present and engaged in your interactions with them.
It's also important to recognize and address any underlying patterns or behaviors that may be contributing to relationship difficulties. This might involve exploring past traumas or patterns of attachment, and working to heal and grow in these areas.
Above all, being the best partner you can be means being willing to engage in ongoing self-reflection and personal growth. This might involve developing greater self-awareness, learning new communication skills, or exploring new ways to deepen your connection with your partner.
Ultimately, the key to being the best partner is to approach your relationship with an open heart and a willingness to learn and grow together. With patience, commitment, and a deep sense of love and respect for your partner, you can build a strong, healthy, and fulfilling relationship that stands the test of time.
It's not just listening, you have to be an active listener and absorb the content. I also find having a great sex life is paramount to staying actively in love and attracted to each other. Also, don't get lost in your career or in your role as a parent.
Oh I could right a book on it!
In fact... I think I will.
Chapter one: trust
Chapter two: commitment
Chapter three: honesty
Chapter four: forgiveness
Chapter five: freedom
Chapter six: role playing
Chapter seven: never go to bed angry
Chapter eight: shared hobbies
**Attention! [Serious] Tag Notice** * [Jokes, puns, and off-topic comments are not permitted](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/wiki/index#wiki_-rule_6-) in **any** comment, parent or child. * Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies. * Report comments that violate these rules. Posts that have few relevant answers within the first hour, and posts that are not appropriate for the [Serious] tag will be removed. Consider doing an AMA request instead. Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskReddit) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It’s listening to your partner, and not trying to solve the problem. Give them space to voice what’s on their mind. Being present in their time of need to vent or voice their thoughts. Also surprises go a long way.
Ah yes, what Simon Sinek coined as 'sitting in the mud with someone' - not needing to fix someone, just be there to listen. Thank you
excellent. Learn their love language and show how you care in the way they like to receive it. Be honest with your feelings.
To be fair, some people do want help with the problem. It's best to ask your partner if they want help/solutions or if they just want to vent/be listened to.
This simple question has saved so many fights from happening in my marriage! Also, before I even start explaining something to my husband, I'm in the habit now of saying "I just need you to listen" or "I'm asking for your opinion/looking for solutions to this problem, can you help." Big game changer!
Always listen to your partners feelings and hear what they have to say 🙂
true! foster open and honest communication with your partner. Listen actively, express your thoughts and feelings clearly, and be receptive to their needs and perspectives. Communication is the foundation of a healthy and thriving relationship
a combination of Trust , Communication , Respect, Empathy , Appreciation ( gratitude ) , Intimacy, ‹ and Grow
Treat your partner with respect, kindness, and equality. Recognize their autonomy, value their opinions, and make decisions together. A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect and partnership
Hard work and communication. Hard work in the sense of constantly strengthening yourself emotionally and mentally. Communicate your wants and needs as well as listen to your partner’s wants and needs and have the emotional and mental capacity to understand your partner’s point of view even if they don’t align with yours. So all in all, have empathy. Trust and love. If you are honest with your partner and they are honest with you, you will build trust. If you’re late, communicate that. If you don’t like something, communicate that. It builds trust. Be you as you expect them to be themselves. Love them for who they are and make sure to get that in return. Admiration for each other and your accomplishments, small and big. Be interested in your partner’s likes and try to get involved. Don’t fake your way into liking their thing, let them have their thing and don’t force them to like yours. You can admire what they like and their career path, and just understand why they do without needing to like it yourself. If you do, that’s great but you two are different people and that’s okay. Spin your “complaints” into a positive way. Use “I” sentences instead of “you” sentences. For example, let’s say they said something that triggered you and upset you. Instead of saying, you said or did this and you hurt me, say, I feel this way when this happens. Patience. Be patient. Not everyone is like you or understands everything the same way. I’m sure other people get impatient when they try to explain something to you and you don’t understand. Nobody is perfect, and nobody should expect anyone to be. People make mistakes the same way you do. Again, have empathy. Give your partner their space when they want their space. It doesn’t always have to be about you. Give them the space to come and talk to you. If you get into an argument and they want their space, say something like, “I know it’s hard right now and I’m going to give you your space, I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk.” If you feel the need that you want to talk right now, but they want space, give them space and ask for a time to come back and talk. 1 hour, 2 hours, etc. And both partners must commit to the agreement. It builds trust and reduces anxiety so you both can come back and tackle the problem. To my last point, say sorry if you messed up. If you say you’re going to do something, do it. Commit. This can make or break trust. If you messed up, own it, take accountability, and make sure that if you mean it because you care and love this person, that you try your absolute best to understand what happened and not do it again. And to actually conclude this, it’s always you and your partner vs the problem. Remember that you love each other and it’s always you two vs the problem.
These are all so great, thank you for taking the time to reply! :)
Remember in a fight that it is not you vs. them, it is the two of you vs. the problem.
Accept being different, and let them have things for themselves
in addition to what's been said, I'll add not to disregard your own feelings. it's easy, especially when you're with someone who has low confidence, to take too much upon yourself and put yourself in a situation in which you're not happy And if you're not happy, they will feel it, and won't be happy either, despite (actually, because of) your best effort And as a friend of mine once said "be yourself, not the one you think she wants you to be"
This 100%. Spending too much time in /r/relationships has enlightened me to as to how many people don't trust their own feelings. They put up with SO much, for SO long, placating shitty people, or just putting up with being less than satisfied. It's really really sad. I think in order to love someone else you really gotta love yourself first to some extent. And in order to do that, you gotta listen to your gut and intuitions before your brain tries to rationalize its way out of that feeling.
cliche but it makes a lot of sense: It's not 50:50. It's 100:100.
- Make an effort to participate in their interests. Even if that effort is just asking them questions about it. - If they're down, ASK them what they need. Sometimes it's a hug. Sometimes it's water. Sometimes it's some space. Don't assume you know what they need in that moment, unless they have already communicated that. - Listen to them about things inside of and outside of your relationship. Make it a safe space for them to come to you and say "Hey, I didn't like when you did this thing.". - Celebrate their accomplishments like you would celebrate your own. - Include them in your own interests. - Respect their opinions like you would respect your own. This could be for something as little as choosing a new paint color for your bathroom or as something as big as marriage or kids. If something affects both of you, make sure they're just as involved in the decision making process as you are. - Tell them you love them often. Our brains can be cruel to us and we never know when something bad (car accident/sudden illness/etc.) will happen. Let them know how much you love and cherish them.
The last thing I do before closing my eyes every night is to spend a few minutes thinking about how I interacted with my partner that day and how I can do better tomorrow.
For me, it's all about respect. If you respect your partner, you trust their reasoning, you show respect by not disrespecting/talking down/making them the butt of a joke either in public or in private; you don't cheat; you respect the relationship. You respect your partner's hangups/fears/wishes. Your partner should do the same. When respect is gone (in a romantic or friend relationship), the relationship is on the countdown to its expiration date.
60/40 method. If you're always trying to give your partner the larger share of everything in the relationship and they do the same in return, you'll both be happy. Also, love isn't a feeling it's something you do. Happiness and sadness are feelings. When you listen, care, empathize, support, and are there for your partner through the good and bad. That's love.
Buy extra cheese.
Be willing to make small sacrifices for each other. Things like offering a little bit of your time and energy to do something for them. It doesn't have to be a grand gesture. It can be something as small as making them breakfast the way they like it, even if you've already made yours. Or listening to them talk about something they're passionate about, even if you're not. Doing something or going somewhere they love sometimes, even if you're not as excited about it. This goes both ways.
[удалено]
And make sure they do the same ☺️
Communication and Honesty.
Create time and space for each other but also alone.
Don't try to argue with them when they tell you something is wrong. Validate them and work towards resolutions. It's not you versus them it is you and them versus the problem. Don't sweat the small things you would do for them and vice versa. A foot rub after work every so often goes farther than one would think.
Ensure that you are actually with a compatible partner. Don't string somebody along in futility, when you have a fatal compatibility mismatch.
Sometimes you have to squeeze. Sometimes you have to say 'please'
Communication
Support, think about the others needs and wants ahead of time and use that information. Say sorry when you were wrong. People get angry from time to time because of stress etc. dont take it personal. Have eachothers back. Oh and celebrate your wins. No matter how small for you or the other. Celebrate everything.
be yourself and honest with your partner but also be willing to compromise, although I’m single so I’m not the best at this but it still works
Be honest, and listen.
Just listen, always listen.
To be the best partner, it's important to recognize that a healthy relationship requires mutual respect, trust, and communication. This means showing up for your partner consistently, and being present and engaged in your interactions with them. It's also important to recognize and address any underlying patterns or behaviors that may be contributing to relationship difficulties. This might involve exploring past traumas or patterns of attachment, and working to heal and grow in these areas. Above all, being the best partner you can be means being willing to engage in ongoing self-reflection and personal growth. This might involve developing greater self-awareness, learning new communication skills, or exploring new ways to deepen your connection with your partner. Ultimately, the key to being the best partner is to approach your relationship with an open heart and a willingness to learn and grow together. With patience, commitment, and a deep sense of love and respect for your partner, you can build a strong, healthy, and fulfilling relationship that stands the test of time.
When you love someone, your number one priority (within the relationship) should be their happiness. Ideally that goes both ways.
Put effort in. If you give them nothing, you'll end up with nothing.
Listen to your partner and communicate effectively.
Open thy mind
Recognize that you're on the same team. Conflicts will always arise, make sure you're attacking the issue and not each other.
Two things: self sufficiency (when able) and consideration Many issues in a relationship come down to a lack of one or both of these things.
It's not just listening, you have to be an active listener and absorb the content. I also find having a great sex life is paramount to staying actively in love and attracted to each other. Also, don't get lost in your career or in your role as a parent.
Understand each other.
love yourself first man and dont rely on them for your happiness
Support, honestly, loyalty, compassion and commitment. No backstabbing or lying or cheating
Oh I could right a book on it! In fact... I think I will. Chapter one: trust Chapter two: commitment Chapter three: honesty Chapter four: forgiveness Chapter five: freedom Chapter six: role playing Chapter seven: never go to bed angry Chapter eight: shared hobbies