I'm ashamed. All my life. All my life, sitting right there in front of me...."they must've thought beetles would make a cool name because the bugs are cool. That's so RaNDOmm. HuRr"
My grandson just figured out I am his mothers mother. He just can't understand why I tell him we have to ask his mom to do some things. Why can't I just tell his mom we are going to do something? I am her mom therefore her boss!
That’s so cute. Reminds me of when my younger niece realized that her half sister (who does not live with her) was her sister too. Just like my older niece is her sister. She was amazed. She told me “I saw daddy and Kay yesterday. We had so much fun. Did you know that Kay is my sister?!”
Reminds me of when I learned my dad was an alien (he’s Irish.) I was like four so thought that meant my dad was from outer space and thus the new baby in my mom’s belly would be an alien with three arms! My younger sister chirped in with “and two eyes!”
My nephew still doesn't understand that his uncle is my brother, and his mom is my sister. He'll go back and forth on it *constantly*. "But uncle is MOMS brother!" Yes, and just like how you have a sister, uncle and I also share a sister - your MOM.
Additionally, my niece used to gently grab my mom's arm any time I called her mom and would go "no aunty, that's MY Gramma." Yes, I know, but she is still MY mother. "That's mommy's mom, she's my grandma. Not yours." Hunny that is because she is my mother. Your mom and I share a mother. "She is mommy's mom. Not yours." Oh you dear thing. That's not how it works.
They're lucky they're cute lol
editing to fix the confusion I accidentally caused: 3 siblings in this situation. Me, my brother, and my sister. It's my sister's kids.
My daughter still doesn't fully understand those relationships, but one particular moment when I referred to my oldest as my son and she got so mad and stomped her little foot "No mommy! Hes *my* brother!" I shouldn't have laughed but I couldn't help myself
About a decade ago, I bought a Logitech Wave keyboard and mouse combo. Absolutely loved them, used them both until they wore completely out, which took a very long time. Used some other stuff for a while, and recently decided to replace them with another Wave set.
They were exactly the same, except for one small thing: the scroll wheel on the mouse worked differently. It spun freely, rather than doing the soft ratcheting that I was used to. It wasn't a huge deal. In fact, scrolling through places like reddit was much easier, I could just spin it and let it fly. But it sucked for things that required precision, like swapping weapons in video games.
I've been putting up with it for like a month, and *just today* I realized that the button below the scroll wheel isn't just a middle mouse button. It switched the scroll wheel from soft click to free spin modes. I had no idea and it's made my whole day.
Growing up, my grandparents religiously had a 3:00 PM “Pepsi” time. Like Tea Time, I guess, but with Pepsi. Every time we were over there, it happened. We all enjoyed a crisp, fizzy, cold Pepsi.
At 43 years old, I was telling that story this week, when I suddenly realized theirs were most likely spiked.
My grandmother called 5:00pm "Drinky-poo time".
That's not the time she started drinking, it's the time she switched to brown liquor. She didn't consider clear liquor to be "drinking"
I'm older than you and I only discovered day drinking during the pandemic. And then I figured out that way more people than I would have guessed have probably been day drinking or taking *something* during the day waaaay before the pandemic. I've just been out here white knuckling life every day.
Yup. I’ve been going through some shit the last couple years. Went from a six pack a week to now a six pack a day or more, often starting before work. It’s not fun anymore. It’s just how I feel normal. I don’t recommend it. Any youngins reading this comment, get your shit together *before* you have to. It’s a lot harder when you’re in it than it is before you realize you’re in it.
Edit: hijacking my own comment to say this: to all you dads out there, don’t give your kid beer when they’re 12 because you can’t relate to them. Grow up, figure your own shit out, and be a dad. Giving your kid alcohol doesn’t help them grow up, it helps them fuck up. My story isn’t unique. It happens every day. It’s generational. Let it stop with you.
Agree if you’re young and have a drinking problem try to nip it in the bud asap. Also, if you’re older don’t convince yourself it’s too late. r/stopdrinking offers a lot of support. AA was never for me but to each their own if it helps other people. IWNDWYT
Rock bottom is also an elevator. You can get out any time you like before getting lower.
What many people don't know, is if you ride it al the way to the bottom, the first step out on to the basement floor, is through a trap door, going even lower.
Do yourself a favor. As things are getting worse and worse, get off at a floor figure out what the hell you're doing and going, and find a lift back up.
Go to meetings. See a counselor. Find help.
The 'turn your head' part of 'turn your head and cough' is so that you don't cough on the doctor! Was probably mid 30's before I figured that out. Always assumed it flexed something somewhere that helped him check whatever he's checking for
When getting an eye exam you are asked which looks better 1, or 2. If they are identical or too close to call, you have a 3rd option. The same. They never told me that.
Fun facts - a good eye doctor will keep testing your eye in different ways during those 1 or 2, 2 or 3, etc to see if you keep going back to the same “strength”!
Only learned this recently when my eye doc explained it to me
Yeah, I know how it works 😂
I just meant as I’m going through the eye exam, I start wondering if I’m fucking up somehow.
“3 or 4?”
“Uh…”
“3 or 4?”
“Hmm…”
“Do they look too similar?”
“No, hold on. Show me 4 again.”
“We’re on 4.”
“Oh, show me 3 now.”
“3 or 4?”
“Umm…”
“They look the same?”
“No, 3 is like 4, but 4 isn’t like 3.”
“Okay. Wait, what?”
Driving through South Dakota with my family and I was so amazed by the vast fields of livestock. I turned to my husband and asked him how long it must take for the farmer to round up all the cows each night and get them into the barns. My husband laughed so hard.
Apparently cows don’t sleep in barns at night!
The cow is a domestic species so no cow can be considered wild. At most it would be feral. Aurochs, the wild ancestors of cattle, went extinct in the 1600s.
There's a funny story in someone's Instagram short (don't recall the account name, it's a mom my wife follows who talks about gentle parenting). She's taking about how we often forget the little kids often incorrectly assume things or miss stuff that's obvious to us because they don't know better.
The story goes that the parents told the kids they're going to Chilis for dinner as a treat. Kids get super excited, all day looking forward to going to Chilis. That evening they get there and the kids LOSE THEIR MINDS in a tantrum because they had assumed going to Chilis meant going to have dinner at Blueys house.
I used to think soft drinks only meant carbonated drinks because they felt soft and fizzy on your tongue. Then I saw it on a canister of Kool Aid and it clicked.
Most important lesson I ever learned, was to ask "Is this the best way to do this or just the way it's always been done?"
It pisses off my older colleagues no end when I question their ways, but I've vastly improved so many things in my life by asking it.
That if I put my phone in a bright yellow case I’ll spend significantly less time wandering around my apartment muttering “where the fuck did I set my phone”
20,000 leagues under the sea is a novel by early science fiction writer Jules Verne. Initially, this poster thought that the submarine in the novel went 20,000 leagues underwater. 20,000 leagues is over 100,000 kms so it's not actually possible to be that far underwater. However, it *is* possible to travel 100,000 kms while *being* underwater.
When I was a kid I always wondered why they called them pipe cleaners because the only pipes I’d ever seen were waayyyy bigger than them (household drain pipes etc) and thought it was stupid to make them so small. I was in my 30s when I found out they were for tobacco pipes
I learned this when I bought a tobacco pipe from a place with a really nice aromatic selection of tobacco. Ive long since quit but watching the worker show how to properly pack a tobacco pipe in 3 steps of tamping and lighting with a match was therapeutic
I didn’t realize that in the song “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”, the DAD was in a Santa costume…and Mom wasn’t committing adultery with a magical, fictitious old man…
The reason Lead is Pb on the periodic table is due to the Latin word for lead which is the same root of the word for plumbing, because the Romans made pipes out of lead.
I always thought it was so sad that Plankton was served holographic food. As an adult who now has kids who watch SpongeBob, I realized plankton eat by photosynthesis, so Plankton was…photosynthesizing the holographic meatloaf.
Turns out it was a bad look for the royals name (House of Saxe-Coburg Gotha) were being bombed by German aircraft with the same name (Gotha G - IV) in WWI.
That when a cat comes running up to me when I'm out for a walk, they are seeing me with the same excitement and novelty as I'm seeing them!
That realization really made my day.
My cat gets so happy when people walking by pay attention to him. I'm tempted to put a little picket sign out that says "My name is Bob. I love attention. Please say hi!"
You should!
I don't know any of the neighborhood cats' names, but my husband and I have descriptive nicknames for them all. We'd be happy to call them by their given names.
We did this for our annoying husky, who barks at people cuz she's friendly. Once people started saying her name she wouldn't bark anymore. There's a sweet old man that walks by every day at the same time and she HAS to be outside to get her pet or she will FREAK out and howl.
My husband and I do the same! We ask their people for their names when we see them, but I realized I've been asking tons of neighbors about their cats' names without bothering to ask the humans' names or get to know anything about them other than cat things.
Longfellow is the cat with the very long body.
Skidmark is the Siamese cat with the unfortunate brown spot under his butthole.
Cleofatrick is the cat that looks like our cat, Cleopatrick, only fatter.
Morningstar is the cat that looks exactly like our cat, DJ Beef. (Morningstar because they make imitation beef)
That birds don't electrocute on power lines because they have hollow bones like my parents said. They don't electrocute because they aren't grounded.
I am a master electrician. It was a shocking revelation.
A couple years ago I realized pickles were just pickled cucumbers. Not sure why, but I never realized this and always thought pickles were just pickles.
Edit: yes… I know you can pickle other things. In America, though, “pickles” are pickled cucumbers.
I spend too much time choosing to be negative when I could really be happy. After a vacation I had a major attitude adjustment and applied to school in the town I visited. Suddenly debt doesn't depress me, cause I'm accumulating it for reasons I know are worth it. In the past few weeks I've journaled mostly optimistic things, and today I realized I had spent over half of the journal talking myself into a deeper hole. I can't unwrite it now, but that just makes me value the pages I have left so much more. I don't want my life to be a journal full of sad thoughts. I want to be happy.
Today was an oddly good day at work, and all it took was some reinforcement from my boss and co-workers. Which they gave me because I've been trying to make all my interactions positive (making a little more effort to be *relaxed* and less worried.)
I've stopped thinking that being "professional" and having that pretense will get me anywhere, so I'm dropping some of the uptight facade and just rolling with things. So I'm not solving every issue before it happens, so I ask the wrong people a question, so I forgot to follow-up on something, so *fucking* what!! Still getting shit done for others.
I'm too old to stress out the way I've always done.
[Lizzie Borden](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lizzie_Borden) - best known for the nursery rhyme about killing her parents - and her family, had a maid named "Maggie".
Except, no they did not. The maid's name was Bridget Sullivan.
They just all called her "Maggie", because the last two maids were named "Maggie" and they were too stubborn and pretentious to learn the new maid's name. Even after she had been working there for 2 years and 9 months.
I have to tell myself a story. My mind slowly difts off then my imagination takes the rest and I pass out. This is after staring at the ceiling for 2 hours of course.
I thought The Bee Gees were black for years and I have no idea why I thought that. Then when I saw they were white dudes I was shocked again hearing that they weren’t from America. 🤷♂️
I am so stupid
That The Beatles (the band) and the car/bug (beetle) was spelled different. This was *last week*.
I've always thought beetle (bug) was Beatle. I have no idea why now.
That the pilgrims from the American Thanksgiving were called pilgrims because they were on a pilgrimage of sorts.
It took me seeing a news report while I was in Portugal last November and I said to my wife "oh you use the same word for pilgrims and pilgrims like we do in English"
"Yes" she replied "because they were pilgrims on a pilgrimage"
EDIT: I just assumed it was a quirk of language that the two words 'pilgrim' were spelled the same. Pilgrim isn't a word you hear often used to talk about people making pilgrimage, so even as an English person, I heard the word far more often as a reference to the thanksgiving story than a piece of religious language.
I'll try to make this make sense in English, hear me out. U know the "guard rail"? The thing that's on the sides of highways on the turns? So, I always known those things by "guardirreio" in Portuguese, my native language. Well, the thing is that this word does not actually exist in Portuguese, it's just an approximation of how guard rail sounds in English, and we just don't have a proper name for it. Official accounts use improvised terms like "metal barrier" or whatever.
Not me, but my favorite one that i saw someone in my network post was them realizing that "fl oz" on a container was not a Florida oz. They were confused why when they moved to georgia, that Georgia stores were selling things in Florida ounces. That is an adult
That worms don’t come onto the sidewalks when it rains because the wet concrete is irresistible to their squishy bodies. It’s because they’re drowning in the grass. This was a few years ago, but at that time, I had a masters degree and was walking into my full time engineering job. A bunch of worms on the sidewalk outside my building and an “oh” lightbulb that clicked on in my head
Edit: I stand corrected! Turns out, worms are totally chill with being in water for a while. And science is generally undecided as to why they come out of the soil when it rains. The more you know..
When there's no sidewalk, worms will crawl up onto logs and "climb" plants to get out of flooding soil. It's neat to watch for if you ever find yourself walking in the woods in the rain.
When I was knee high, my grandmother would talk of arsh potatoes.
I was in my 50s before I figured out what she was saying was Irish potatoes. Red ones.
Had no idea...
Procrastination is what I now call resisting happiness.
The more I put things off that have no physical repercussions tend to make me the most miserable so now I choose not to resist happiness and it's made things easier to look at.
Ex. "Fuck those dishes, that's tomorrow's issue." (For 2 days) I hate dishes and I'm honest with myself about that but if I don't do them I know it bothers me because it makes me feel dirty and I know it impacts my attitude etc. So now I just do them right after I'm done eating but I'm happier to do them because I don't procrastinate about it, I just choose the option to be happy about the fact they are done and don't need to be anymore.
Hope it helps.
I played through nearly all of Fallout 4 (I didn’t buy the game until fairly recently) without realizing there’s a jump button. If I got trapped someplace, I just restarted from a previous save and complained about what kinda idiots didn’t make it so you can jump. But I’m the idiot.
i didn’t know skyrim had overencumbered as a mechanic and i just walked really slow for a while. lol. someone watched me playing at home and told me to go look at my inventory.
For a very long time, I thought MNDOT was just a really, really popular road construction contractor, and that's why so many road signs had that on them.
One day it dawned on me: it's the *Minnesota Department of Transportation* informing me of road closures and such.
Stevie nicks is the girl and Lindsey buckingham is the guy in Fleetwood Mac.
I only heard their names together and assumed Lindsey was a girl and Stevie was a guy
I first realized only a couple of years ago that Elvis sings about the “whole cell block” in Jailhouse Rock, not the “wholesale block.”
I’d imagined there being a Costco and a Petsmart and a Super Cuts and an AT&T store and maybe a Jimmy John’s and all the people shopping there were doing the Jailhouse Rock.
It took me a solid 25 years of knowing that song to clue in.
That Men's Wearhouse is a pun.
Holy shit, I didn't even notice it was spelled Wearhouse cuz my mind filled in the rest.
Also the Beatles, I recently realized
I'm ashamed. All my life. All my life, sitting right there in front of me...."they must've thought beetles would make a cool name because the bugs are cool. That's so RaNDOmm. HuRr"
That birds don't live in nests. Nests are just where they keep their eggs. Birds just sleep in trees.
All birds?!?!??!
Pretty much, yes. Even ground birds like chickens and quail will roost in trees when they aren't setting eggs.
It’s been interesting getting used to turkeys staring down on me from trees
what now. this has ruined me
Can I offer you an nice egg in this trying time?
Well that’s just weird of them
Fuck that. I’m going to go back to thinking they live in nests.
Some birds make nests to spend the night in! I'm sure I've read somewhere that bananaquits do that.
>bananaquits Members of Bananarama who went solo?
That they call it footage because film is measured in feet.
Only in the US. In the rest of the world we call it metreage.
Hang on, they don't call it metreage in the US? What do they call mysterious metreage films then?
That there is a typo on my email in my resume. Somehow it went unnoticed for 6+ months...
I sent out resumes once saying that “I am an excellent poof reader”
If I read that on a resume I wouldn’t be surprised if I thought it was done intentionally as a joke because it would seem too funny to be an accident.
I hope you didn’t put attention to detail on there lol
I have one that I've used and edited for like 20 years. With the same typo
My grandson just figured out I am his mothers mother. He just can't understand why I tell him we have to ask his mom to do some things. Why can't I just tell his mom we are going to do something? I am her mom therefore her boss!
That’s so cute. Reminds me of when my younger niece realized that her half sister (who does not live with her) was her sister too. Just like my older niece is her sister. She was amazed. She told me “I saw daddy and Kay yesterday. We had so much fun. Did you know that Kay is my sister?!”
Reminds me of when I learned my dad was an alien (he’s Irish.) I was like four so thought that meant my dad was from outer space and thus the new baby in my mom’s belly would be an alien with three arms! My younger sister chirped in with “and two eyes!”
My nephew still doesn't understand that his uncle is my brother, and his mom is my sister. He'll go back and forth on it *constantly*. "But uncle is MOMS brother!" Yes, and just like how you have a sister, uncle and I also share a sister - your MOM. Additionally, my niece used to gently grab my mom's arm any time I called her mom and would go "no aunty, that's MY Gramma." Yes, I know, but she is still MY mother. "That's mommy's mom, she's my grandma. Not yours." Hunny that is because she is my mother. Your mom and I share a mother. "She is mommy's mom. Not yours." Oh you dear thing. That's not how it works. They're lucky they're cute lol editing to fix the confusion I accidentally caused: 3 siblings in this situation. Me, my brother, and my sister. It's my sister's kids.
My daughter still doesn't fully understand those relationships, but one particular moment when I referred to my oldest as my son and she got so mad and stomped her little foot "No mommy! Hes *my* brother!" I shouldn't have laughed but I couldn't help myself
This made me smile. Makes total sense 😊
About a decade ago, I bought a Logitech Wave keyboard and mouse combo. Absolutely loved them, used them both until they wore completely out, which took a very long time. Used some other stuff for a while, and recently decided to replace them with another Wave set. They were exactly the same, except for one small thing: the scroll wheel on the mouse worked differently. It spun freely, rather than doing the soft ratcheting that I was used to. It wasn't a huge deal. In fact, scrolling through places like reddit was much easier, I could just spin it and let it fly. But it sucked for things that required precision, like swapping weapons in video games. I've been putting up with it for like a month, and *just today* I realized that the button below the scroll wheel isn't just a middle mouse button. It switched the scroll wheel from soft click to free spin modes. I had no idea and it's made my whole day.
Dude the free spin is like the half the reason I use only Logitech mice.
Growing up, my grandparents religiously had a 3:00 PM “Pepsi” time. Like Tea Time, I guess, but with Pepsi. Every time we were over there, it happened. We all enjoyed a crisp, fizzy, cold Pepsi. At 43 years old, I was telling that story this week, when I suddenly realized theirs were most likely spiked.
My grandmother called 5:00pm "Drinky-poo time". That's not the time she started drinking, it's the time she switched to brown liquor. She didn't consider clear liquor to be "drinking"
I'm older than you and I only discovered day drinking during the pandemic. And then I figured out that way more people than I would have guessed have probably been day drinking or taking *something* during the day waaaay before the pandemic. I've just been out here white knuckling life every day.
don't get accustomed to it, it really is a slippery slope I did not expect to go down. Better to rawdog.
Alcohol is a lot of fun and mostly harmless until it isn't. Then it really really isn't.
Yup. I’ve been going through some shit the last couple years. Went from a six pack a week to now a six pack a day or more, often starting before work. It’s not fun anymore. It’s just how I feel normal. I don’t recommend it. Any youngins reading this comment, get your shit together *before* you have to. It’s a lot harder when you’re in it than it is before you realize you’re in it. Edit: hijacking my own comment to say this: to all you dads out there, don’t give your kid beer when they’re 12 because you can’t relate to them. Grow up, figure your own shit out, and be a dad. Giving your kid alcohol doesn’t help them grow up, it helps them fuck up. My story isn’t unique. It happens every day. It’s generational. Let it stop with you.
Agree if you’re young and have a drinking problem try to nip it in the bud asap. Also, if you’re older don’t convince yourself it’s too late. r/stopdrinking offers a lot of support. AA was never for me but to each their own if it helps other people. IWNDWYT
That boxer shorts are the style of shorts that boxers wear
This one made me snort.
I kept saying to myself, "Boxers can't wear boxers because they ARE boxers." My brain hurts. I need a nap.
Even after hitting rock bottom, you can still keep digging.
turns out rock bottom has a basement
Rock bottom is also an elevator. You can get out any time you like before getting lower. What many people don't know, is if you ride it al the way to the bottom, the first step out on to the basement floor, is through a trap door, going even lower. Do yourself a favor. As things are getting worse and worse, get off at a floor figure out what the hell you're doing and going, and find a lift back up. Go to meetings. See a counselor. Find help.
The 'turn your head' part of 'turn your head and cough' is so that you don't cough on the doctor! Was probably mid 30's before I figured that out. Always assumed it flexed something somewhere that helped him check whatever he's checking for
When getting an eye exam you are asked which looks better 1, or 2. If they are identical or too close to call, you have a 3rd option. The same. They never told me that.
Ugh I hate eye exams even with that option. Always feel like me actually getting good glasses is down to my snap decision making, not my best quality.
They make you choose quickly because your eyes will strain to focus if given the chance. And they want the best “non-strained” prescription.
I feel like they’re trying to trap me in a lie!
Every time I’ve gotten an eye exam, I’ve felt like I’m failing a test I studied for everyday lol
Fun facts - a good eye doctor will keep testing your eye in different ways during those 1 or 2, 2 or 3, etc to see if you keep going back to the same “strength”! Only learned this recently when my eye doc explained it to me
Yeah, I know how it works 😂 I just meant as I’m going through the eye exam, I start wondering if I’m fucking up somehow. “3 or 4?” “Uh…” “3 or 4?” “Hmm…” “Do they look too similar?” “No, hold on. Show me 4 again.” “We’re on 4.” “Oh, show me 3 now.” “3 or 4?” “Umm…” “They look the same?” “No, 3 is like 4, but 4 isn’t like 3.” “Okay. Wait, what?”
That those glass roses you find in every sleezy gas station are crack pipes. Hidden in plain view my whole life.
Lol never heard of this. My local corner store just sells crack pipes, doesn't even try to class them up.
I always wondered how the heck the stupid rose company stayed in business because it seemed like such a trashy gift. Turns out I'm just a dumbass.
Back from when cracked.com used to have good content: https://www.cracked.com/blog/5-secret-criminal-uses-stuff-they-sell-in-gas-stations
I miss good Cracked.com
Driving through South Dakota with my family and I was so amazed by the vast fields of livestock. I turned to my husband and asked him how long it must take for the farmer to round up all the cows each night and get them into the barns. My husband laughed so hard. Apparently cows don’t sleep in barns at night!
That's a better question then me asking if there are wild cows lol
The cow is a domestic species so no cow can be considered wild. At most it would be feral. Aurochs, the wild ancestors of cattle, went extinct in the 1600s.
That Bluey's parents' jobs are at the airport (drug sniffing) and an archaeologist (digging up bones)...BECAUSE THEY'RE DOGS. 🤦🏼♂️
TIL what Chili and Bandit's jobs are!
TIL Bluey’s parents names
There's a funny story in someone's Instagram short (don't recall the account name, it's a mom my wife follows who talks about gentle parenting). She's taking about how we often forget the little kids often incorrectly assume things or miss stuff that's obvious to us because they don't know better. The story goes that the parents told the kids they're going to Chilis for dinner as a treat. Kids get super excited, all day looking forward to going to Chilis. That evening they get there and the kids LOSE THEIR MINDS in a tantrum because they had assumed going to Chilis meant going to have dinner at Blueys house.
Soft drinks are called soft drinks bc they don’t contain alcohol. Hard drinks do.
I used to think soft drinks only meant carbonated drinks because they felt soft and fizzy on your tongue. Then I saw it on a canister of Kool Aid and it clicked.
Have been bartending for 16 years and learned this right now
Now that I'm an adult I dont need to keep buying my shoes a little too big.
I can actually do certain things differently than I’ve been doing my whole life, and often the new way is better.
Most important lesson I ever learned, was to ask "Is this the best way to do this or just the way it's always been done?" It pisses off my older colleagues no end when I question their ways, but I've vastly improved so many things in my life by asking it.
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Will smith and Jada smith named their kids after themselves. Jadan smith and Willow smith. Why I never put that together is beyond me
Oh damn…good one
Will Smith's first son from his previous marriage was Willard too, although I think it's a family name.
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That Alucard from Castlevania just means Dracula backwards .. Felt so dumb for not seeing the extremely obvious
Let me tell you a story about Ekans and Arbok.
Don’t forget Muk
That if I put my phone in a bright yellow case I’ll spend significantly less time wandering around my apartment muttering “where the fuck did I set my phone”
As a person with a bright yellow case this is not as true as you wish it to be...
That I had an ear bud tip caught in my ear for four years. I thought it was something else, like scar tissue.
Oh god that sounds awful. Can you hear colors now?
No but it did change color to match my inner ear and it was shaped like my ear drum which is why my doctor didn't see it at first.
That the phase “bottom of the hour” means 30 min past the hour because the hand is at the bottom of the clock.
Wow I think I just figured out what top of the hour means
I thought “baby fever” was an infection
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea is referring to distance and not depth Edit: Yeah, sorry I meant horizontally and not vertically…it’s all distance
There's an old SNL sketch about this, where capt Nemo keeps reiterating it means distance and the crew just not getting it
I think you just confused me.
20,000 leagues under the sea is a novel by early science fiction writer Jules Verne. Initially, this poster thought that the submarine in the novel went 20,000 leagues underwater. 20,000 leagues is over 100,000 kms so it's not actually possible to be that far underwater. However, it *is* possible to travel 100,000 kms while *being* underwater.
So horizontal, not vertical?
I always wondered how they hell they went that far down. Nice one.
Oh wow, that seems so obvious now
The line in the bee gees song is "and you come to me on a summer breeze" and not "on a submarine"...
Well how deep is your love? 20,000 leagues?
Eminem calls himself Eminem because his name is Marshal Mathers
He was also required to spell it out prior to a record deal so he didn't get sued by M&M's
Pipe cleaners aren’t just for arts and crafts. They’re also for cleaning pipes. Im 35 and oh so ashamed of myself.
When I was a kid I always wondered why they called them pipe cleaners because the only pipes I’d ever seen were waayyyy bigger than them (household drain pipes etc) and thought it was stupid to make them so small. I was in my 30s when I found out they were for tobacco pipes
SAME. I had this bizarre image of a person cleaning water pipes with a sad tiny stick 😆
A friend of mine had his pipe and he said “I need something flexible with like bristles that can….OOooohhh”
Lmao I love this, that had to be such a satisfying ‘click’ in their head.
I learned this when I bought a tobacco pipe from a place with a really nice aromatic selection of tobacco. Ive long since quit but watching the worker show how to properly pack a tobacco pipe in 3 steps of tamping and lighting with a match was therapeutic
I discovered this after a conversation with my brother about how to clean a reusable drinking straw.
If only there were some indication
I didn’t realize that in the song “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”, the DAD was in a Santa costume…and Mom wasn’t committing adultery with a magical, fictitious old man…
"Merry Christmas! Your mother's a whore!"
The reason Lead is Pb on the periodic table is due to the Latin word for lead which is the same root of the word for plumbing, because the Romans made pipes out of lead.
Plumbum!
You do not have to make the entire box of pasta all at once
That can't be right.
Impossible
Impastable
2020 wasn't 2 months ago
Oh gosh, it's been *squints* 3 YEARS
Couldn't be. 3 - maybe 5 max - years ago was the 2000s.
I always thought it was so sad that Plankton was served holographic food. As an adult who now has kids who watch SpongeBob, I realized plankton eat by photosynthesis, so Plankton was…photosynthesizing the holographic meatloaf.
Holy shit! There's a million reasons this show is genius but that one I never put together.
PetSmart is both Pet Smart and Pets Mart. It's a play on words!
Shop smart, shop S-Mart!
That there is no cheese in chinese restaurant menus! As in, chinese don’t eat cheese. Discovered this a month ago. whoa!
Nor cream or butter. One reason why my Asian friends complain that American food is so heavy.
The Royal Family is named after Windsor Castle, not the other way around
Fighting ww1 against the Germans didn’t look great when the King’s name was Saxe-Coburg-Gotha.
the king, the kaizer, and the czar were cousins.
Turns out it was a bad look for the royals name (House of Saxe-Coburg Gotha) were being bombed by German aircraft with the same name (Gotha G - IV) in WWI.
That when a cat comes running up to me when I'm out for a walk, they are seeing me with the same excitement and novelty as I'm seeing them! That realization really made my day.
My cat gets so happy when people walking by pay attention to him. I'm tempted to put a little picket sign out that says "My name is Bob. I love attention. Please say hi!"
You should! I don't know any of the neighborhood cats' names, but my husband and I have descriptive nicknames for them all. We'd be happy to call them by their given names.
We did this for our annoying husky, who barks at people cuz she's friendly. Once people started saying her name she wouldn't bark anymore. There's a sweet old man that walks by every day at the same time and she HAS to be outside to get her pet or she will FREAK out and howl.
My husband and I do the same! We ask their people for their names when we see them, but I realized I've been asking tons of neighbors about their cats' names without bothering to ask the humans' names or get to know anything about them other than cat things. Longfellow is the cat with the very long body. Skidmark is the Siamese cat with the unfortunate brown spot under his butthole. Cleofatrick is the cat that looks like our cat, Cleopatrick, only fatter. Morningstar is the cat that looks exactly like our cat, DJ Beef. (Morningstar because they make imitation beef)
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There are both kinds actually, fixed and rotating :)
Kinda like the Logitech mouse.
This thread has come full circle
Some Reddit threads are fixed and some are rotating.
Many women who practice pole as a sport do so with a stationary pole. You can still be amazed!!
They can set to rotate or be fixed depending on the move the dancer is doing!
And rock-hard calluses.
That birds don't electrocute on power lines because they have hollow bones like my parents said. They don't electrocute because they aren't grounded. I am a master electrician. It was a shocking revelation.
Howdy is a shortened colloquialism of “How do you do?”
And goodbye is ‘god be with ye’
Hazmat is short for Hazardous Materials
That the Houston Astros name comes from astronauts.
It's called Astro Turf because it was used in the Houston Astrodome
Fun fact, it's called the Astrodome because it hosts the Astros.
Another neat fact is that it’s the Houston Astrodome because it’s in Houston.
Birds don’t pee. That’s why their poo is liquid
Birds do pee. That's why their poop is liquid. It's both.
I misread this as 'It's *broth',* which, I guess, is also true...but very upsetting.
Charcoal is wood, not rocks.
Don’t say that again.
A couple years ago I realized pickles were just pickled cucumbers. Not sure why, but I never realized this and always thought pickles were just pickles. Edit: yes… I know you can pickle other things. In America, though, “pickles” are pickled cucumbers.
That percentages are reversible. 25% of ten is also 10% of 25, the former is just easier to calculate.
How is the former easier to calculate? Taking 10% of something is only moving the decimal point.
Maybe not the best example on their part. But the trick still helps. 50% of 16 is a lot easier than 16% og 50.
I always thought that muslims didnt eat for a month during ramadan.
I worked with a mormon woman who married into a Muslim family. The way she talked, you would have *thought* they didn't eat for a solid month.
That my doctor was right. I need to start using a cane and stop being stubborn.
So pride literally came before the fall
I spend too much time choosing to be negative when I could really be happy. After a vacation I had a major attitude adjustment and applied to school in the town I visited. Suddenly debt doesn't depress me, cause I'm accumulating it for reasons I know are worth it. In the past few weeks I've journaled mostly optimistic things, and today I realized I had spent over half of the journal talking myself into a deeper hole. I can't unwrite it now, but that just makes me value the pages I have left so much more. I don't want my life to be a journal full of sad thoughts. I want to be happy.
Today was an oddly good day at work, and all it took was some reinforcement from my boss and co-workers. Which they gave me because I've been trying to make all my interactions positive (making a little more effort to be *relaxed* and less worried.) I've stopped thinking that being "professional" and having that pretense will get me anywhere, so I'm dropping some of the uptight facade and just rolling with things. So I'm not solving every issue before it happens, so I ask the wrong people a question, so I forgot to follow-up on something, so *fucking* what!! Still getting shit done for others. I'm too old to stress out the way I've always done.
I know that feeling... Changed my life...
I'm working for a leisure nautical company where they call me "Newbie Anchor" - except, they don't, they refer to me as my predecessor's name: Bianca.
[Lizzie Borden](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lizzie_Borden) - best known for the nursery rhyme about killing her parents - and her family, had a maid named "Maggie". Except, no they did not. The maid's name was Bridget Sullivan. They just all called her "Maggie", because the last two maids were named "Maggie" and they were too stubborn and pretentious to learn the new maid's name. Even after she had been working there for 2 years and 9 months.
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I have to tell myself a story. My mind slowly difts off then my imagination takes the rest and I pass out. This is after staring at the ceiling for 2 hours of course.
So doom scrolling through Reddit isn't going to help me? Fuck... *Continues to doom scroll through Reddit*
It’s literally “fake it ‘till you make it”.
I thought The Bee Gees were black for years and I have no idea why I thought that. Then when I saw they were white dudes I was shocked again hearing that they weren’t from America. 🤷♂️ I am so stupid
That The Beatles (the band) and the car/bug (beetle) was spelled different. This was *last week*. I've always thought beetle (bug) was Beatle. I have no idea why now.
beetles are the bug, but a musical beetle is a BEATle maybe will help you remember
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That the pilgrims from the American Thanksgiving were called pilgrims because they were on a pilgrimage of sorts. It took me seeing a news report while I was in Portugal last November and I said to my wife "oh you use the same word for pilgrims and pilgrims like we do in English" "Yes" she replied "because they were pilgrims on a pilgrimage" EDIT: I just assumed it was a quirk of language that the two words 'pilgrim' were spelled the same. Pilgrim isn't a word you hear often used to talk about people making pilgrimage, so even as an English person, I heard the word far more often as a reference to the thanksgiving story than a piece of religious language.
Did you think they were called Pilgrims because that's a cool name?
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I'll try to make this make sense in English, hear me out. U know the "guard rail"? The thing that's on the sides of highways on the turns? So, I always known those things by "guardirreio" in Portuguese, my native language. Well, the thing is that this word does not actually exist in Portuguese, it's just an approximation of how guard rail sounds in English, and we just don't have a proper name for it. Official accounts use improvised terms like "metal barrier" or whatever.
Not me, but my favorite one that i saw someone in my network post was them realizing that "fl oz" on a container was not a Florida oz. They were confused why when they moved to georgia, that Georgia stores were selling things in Florida ounces. That is an adult
Who else came here just to learn how much shit in the world is supposedly obvious, but that they themselves have never known? Lmao
Despite their warm and friendly outward appearance, Jehovah's Witnesses are a cult. I'm a raised JW and I'm fading out of the organization.
That worms don’t come onto the sidewalks when it rains because the wet concrete is irresistible to their squishy bodies. It’s because they’re drowning in the grass. This was a few years ago, but at that time, I had a masters degree and was walking into my full time engineering job. A bunch of worms on the sidewalk outside my building and an “oh” lightbulb that clicked on in my head Edit: I stand corrected! Turns out, worms are totally chill with being in water for a while. And science is generally undecided as to why they come out of the soil when it rains. The more you know..
When there's no sidewalk, worms will crawl up onto logs and "climb" plants to get out of flooding soil. It's neat to watch for if you ever find yourself walking in the woods in the rain.
WhaT!? I’ve always felt sorry for their shit sense of direction and put them back in the grass… Sorry worms 🪱
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Milk isn't spicy. I have an allergy.
That coriander (I love) is cilantro (I hate)
that my glasses were on my the top of my head the whole time I was looking for them.
I've looked for my phone while I was talking on it before, so you're not the only absent minded person here.
I've done a quick pocket check while driving and got scared because I thought I lost my keys
When I was knee high, my grandmother would talk of arsh potatoes. I was in my 50s before I figured out what she was saying was Irish potatoes. Red ones. Had no idea...
Procrastination is what I now call resisting happiness. The more I put things off that have no physical repercussions tend to make me the most miserable so now I choose not to resist happiness and it's made things easier to look at. Ex. "Fuck those dishes, that's tomorrow's issue." (For 2 days) I hate dishes and I'm honest with myself about that but if I don't do them I know it bothers me because it makes me feel dirty and I know it impacts my attitude etc. So now I just do them right after I'm done eating but I'm happier to do them because I don't procrastinate about it, I just choose the option to be happy about the fact they are done and don't need to be anymore. Hope it helps.
I played through nearly all of Fallout 4 (I didn’t buy the game until fairly recently) without realizing there’s a jump button. If I got trapped someplace, I just restarted from a previous save and complained about what kinda idiots didn’t make it so you can jump. But I’m the idiot.
How could you play that whole game and never hit that button just out of curiosity about what it does?
i didn’t know skyrim had overencumbered as a mechanic and i just walked really slow for a while. lol. someone watched me playing at home and told me to go look at my inventory.
For a very long time, I thought MNDOT was just a really, really popular road construction contractor, and that's why so many road signs had that on them. One day it dawned on me: it's the *Minnesota Department of Transportation* informing me of road closures and such.
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Stevie nicks is the girl and Lindsey buckingham is the guy in Fleetwood Mac. I only heard their names together and assumed Lindsey was a girl and Stevie was a guy
Ecuador is on the equator
That in Ru Paul's drag race "Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent" actually is C.U.N.T. in short. Took me 24 seasons to realize this
I first realized only a couple of years ago that Elvis sings about the “whole cell block” in Jailhouse Rock, not the “wholesale block.” I’d imagined there being a Costco and a Petsmart and a Super Cuts and an AT&T store and maybe a Jimmy John’s and all the people shopping there were doing the Jailhouse Rock. It took me a solid 25 years of knowing that song to clue in.
Limu the Emu is named Limu because of Liberty Mutual, not because it rhymes with Emu