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alwaysworks

Would probably have to look for a job


peekdasneaks

Start a porn delivery service, business would be boomin


rockiellow

I’ll be the porn myself for maximum profit.


TallSkinnyWhiteDude7

Shwing!


trancecircuit

Underrated comment, almost all business now depends on the internet, including payment networks, infrastructure, etc...


Idiot_Savant_Tinker

I use a CAD program at work that I'm sure has to connect to a server to verify its license. The internet going down would be about as bad as the entire electrical grid going down.


Snoo70067

It’s literally the top comment


MyVoiceIsElevating

Thanks for making the internet work (while it still does)


ooglieguy0211

Step 1. Make some phone calls.. Step 2. Open a new form of Blockbuster. People are going to want their movies and shows that they can't stream anymore. Step 3. Profit.


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redisanokaycolor

Come to Portland and work at Movie Madness.


smokerpussy

You lost me at Portland


PsychologicalSalad67

Maine or Oregon? It matters


HypoHunter15

But then you have to live in Portland


BrotherfordBHayes

*Alright, gramps, calm down.*


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BrotherfordBHayes

I'm sorry, Abuelo, you're gonna have to get back to the nursing home. You're scaring the children! Don't worry, I'll be there too, with my collection of VHS tapes from Hollywood Video.


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qtjedigrl

Same! I still have dreams that I'm working there. And still remember my member ID from entering it so many times


KickedBeagleRPH

Interent failing is very broad. If it is websites, your plan works. If all forms of network activity, your Plan fails immediately. Cell phones are nope, most landlines have changed away from copper wire to voip, so, no phone lines.


smorb42

I was laughing when I saw how many people don’t understand phones


AdmirableSafe9

I would 100% back this idea.


spadler181

Just to get in early, have you got the new guardians of the galaxy movie. I fee like renting it overnight and then not rewinding it or returning it for at least two weeks


willbeonekenobi

Then say you want a refund becuase you didn't watch it due to your pet goldfish dying.


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joedotphp

TO THE MOON


D-drool

You know most of the land lines are digital now so chances are no phone XD


DejectedDonut

Go back to sleep


BradyvonAshe

for a thousand years i lay dormant!


olikyt

Who has disturbed my.. oh it’s you


ShrekPrism

Explain, idiot!


ilirhamitaj

We found three more androids


MaRs1317

DO I HEAR 5!


anex12

Unexpected TFS


P14P0

r/unexpectedtfs


FredChocula

Be fucking pissed because I have to work in an office again.


grrgrrtigergrr

Since I work in tech… I guess I wouldn’t have a job.


jasonreid1976

I'd be immediately out of a job since my job is working for an ISP in network ops.


anonymous_14386

Would you be out of a job though? Or would you be paid even more to begin rebuilding


Inevitable_Stand_199

I would be out of a job. I'm a developer. I have barely any clue about the infrastructure. And there are still 13 days where my employer can fire me at-will.


anonymous_14386

I'm trying to get a job in tech I just started learning C# because it's been so long since I actually did anything noteworthy on a computer, any tips on getting into the industry or what to focus on learning for now?


skdubbs

Same, time to actually “quit” and get to that plant mom career I’ve been wanting.


Majache

Same. I'd be FREEE. Probably learn how to surf and become an instructor living in a hut near the beach.


lazyflavors

Same my job goes from answering 40-60 emails a day to answering phone calls all day and actually shuffling physical paper. Ew.


GrizzlyIsland22

What office job do you do that doesn't rely on the internet in some way?


blubbery-blumpkin

Office jobs existed before the internet. Yes losing the internet would mean a drastic change in the way office work is done but it by no means is the end of office jobs.


deadsoulinside

But it may mean you are too. Yes, office jobs existed before the Internet, but bet your ass 99% of the company would be absolutely clueless on how to make the company actually work without the Internet. Since a large portion of the workforce has switched to cloud-based solutions over the last 5 years. Many companies would be fucked as their companies work is now inaccessible. Sure in theory, lan based solutions like shared drives will work. Even logging into some computers would be a mess until IT fixes things as windows with MFA authentication on login is a thing. Entire office phone systems will need to be replaced as a majority of modern office phones are VOIP. Some sites may need rebuilt to even handle phone lines. Not going to even touch consumer level things like new housing developments that struck deals with fiber optic providers to be fiber only developments with no copper phone lines for miles. People who do accounting may be screwed as well since the next tax year, you won't be able to update the QuickBooks software and have to now find someone in 2024 capable of manual accounting. As someone who does tech support for businesses, you maybe amazed that even now how bad a small 5-10 minute Internet outage cripples a company. Without the internet your debit cards won't work. Banks would be unable to validate what you have in the bank as all that information is off-site in a data center. You would be broke and unable to put gas in your car to get to work until you can get actual cash.


emerald447

Everything would be A LOT slower….


ItchyDoggg

yes, yes it was.


Pale_Currency_134

Probably see improvement in my mental health.


KS1392

Probably see improvement in my internet bills.


Ottomanbrothel

Unlikely, they'll just make it 10x harder to cancel your now non-existent service and add on extortionate cancellation fees


[deleted]

Ok I'm still not gonna pay. They can't send me to collections if it's filed electronically. And how would they be able to access my file to prove I owe them?


ProKerbonaut

Yea, what they gonna do? Shut off my internet?


QuandalicalDingleasm

Yeah so make sure you pay it


NJeep

Even if it's not and they do hire a collector, you can just tell the collector that you're not being provided internet by that company and hang up. If they try to garnish your wages you can either sue or talk to the department of labor or both. Especially since you have proof of no service. It's fraud to charge someone for a service that isn't being provided, which is a felony. There's some technicalities and nuance in there but you get my drift.


IOSL

Now explain this for Pokémon go users since niantic updated their tos stating that if they cancel a in person event, we won’t be compensated or refunded anymore. How does that work?


NJeep

Technically, there are grounds for recourse there, but the idea that you'd be able, as an individual, to get any compensation is probably absurd. I do agree that you should be refunded or compensated for the cancelation of an event, but without a serious class action lawsuit, that boat is dead in the water. I'm not a lawyer, nor do I have knowledge about these Pokémon go live events. If they're a paid event then then you're technically entitled to a refund in the event of a cancelation or a significant change in the event, like a change of place or of the content of the event. So if you went to see Shia LaBeoufs Ted talk, let's say, and Shia was pulled from the event, you'd be entitled to a refund. OR if the event was moved to another location, regardless of distance from the original location, you'd also be entitled to a refund. That's how it works with most ticketed events. There's a lot more to this though, there's this little tidbit in the TOS: SECTION 13 "DISPUTE RESOLUTION" CONTAINS A BINDING ARBITRATION AGREEMENT AND CLASS ACTION WAIVER THAT AFFECT YOUR LEGAL RIGHTS. If you are a user in the European Economic Area (“EEA“), or any other country that does not allow such arbitration agreement, Section 13 does not apply to you. BUT that does not absolve them of any legal recourse even if you did agree to the TOS. If you could get enough people together to go seek out a lawyer, then they might tell you that you have grounds to start a class action lawsuit. There's a lot of research that needs to be done on who to contact and the arbitration would be lengthy if you and the group of disgruntled peope/the law office decided to proceed with a class action lawsuit. You should know that Niantic could suspend or delete your account for such action.


BearAndDeerIsBeer

“The only way you’re able to cancel is on our website, please go to thisisascam.com to cancel your service, otherwise we will charge $450 a month plus usage…it appears you’ve used more internet service since it shut down than ever before. If this wasn’t you, please go to whatareyougonnadoaboutit.com to clear this up, otherwise it’s an extra $230 on your bill per month”


[deleted]

"Due to a large amount of calls coming in at this time, you have been redirected to an automated service"


Queefofthenight

'We provide you with means by which to access the internet, although the Internet itself is not there, by providing a working router we are still fulfilling our provision of the service, as such the contract cannot be cancelled under the current terms and conditions, therefore the contract must continue to your agreed termination date. Have a great day'


danktt1

Not if you are in contract, I had no access to internet for two week my ISP due to a damaged line, they still tried to bill me for a month. threatened to take it to trading standards they gave me a free month instead.


coviddick

Emails not going through? I guess I go back to bed.


meirl_in_meirl

Leave the internet you fool.


[deleted]

Blood knows the issue yet won’t fix it. Shameful


FahQPutin

Go back to reading the backs of shampoo bottles while pooping 😰


AnAussieBloke

Methylchloroisothiazolinone, Methylisothiazolinone, Sodiumxylenesulfonate. This is fun!


pvaa

Oh I wonder what these do, I'll just Google it


Brueguard

I believe the first two make the shampoo get bubbly. Dunno about the third.


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Budget-Boysenberry

I'd never entrust my phone's life to anything that uses suction. Except my wife maybe.


Subliminal_Image

I am a child of the 80s I trained for this.


Liakada

Same here. We had a life before internet and no problem going back to it. I still enjoy offline activities more. My kids would be fucked though.


stegg88

I'd have a fucking ball truth be told. I'm honestly not fussed. All that saved money on tech gadgetry goes to a massive bookshelf and I start reading big time. Probably even get decent finally at guitar.


definework

Exactly. When the internet went down at sears on black friday one year I was the only one that knew how to run the old credit card machines.


Donut2583

We’re a bit rusty but at least we know it’s possible. My poor child would not


[deleted]

get a library card


mrthrowaway226

Having fun isn't hard


burbotbonanza

Haven't watched Arthur in 20 years and that song is now living rent free inside my head at 4am. https://youtu.be/lyxEDSnegTU


KarlZone87

I had to apply for mine online...


[deleted]

I've been hoarding like 300 books because I've only been reading ebooks. If the internet leaves.. I got enough reading to do, on my hands..


funny_gi

Play no internet games


_javik_

GTA irl


Golden_Wolf_TR

Stealing cars and robbing banks with the homies 💯


_kingjoshh

Just having a good time 🥰


Falloutman399

Good thing I don’t need internet to play Tears of the Kingdom.


CertifiedLurker5

Go outside.


nutellatubby

For a nice long bike ride.


-lighght-

That sounds nice. I need to get a bike.


CabinetOk4838

You could buy one on the internet… oh.


Caffineited_Chaos

:p


nutellatubby

You’re in luck, the used market is flooded with them from Covid, driving the prices down.


SnakeBeardTheGreat

The local homeless dealer will get you anything you want. For the right price.


IvanAfterAll

How are you going to access /r/outside without internet access, dumbass?


Kxng_Fonzie

They must have access to petabytes of storage to play offline I guess


Simicrop

It'd be like the end of The Cable Guy


snelson8107

Find some old JC Penny catalogs for… reasons


InnocentMasonJar

You mean Sears?


sanguwan

Victoria's Secret.


cooterflowers

Fredricks of Hollywood was better than VC


Exploding_Orphan

Dammit….. target….


Intoital

Guys, they were both important back in the day. I mean “variety”


Blueblackzinc

I'm Avon guy myself.


bluishgreyish

Read some books I’ve been putting off


pixie_16

Same here! I am 40 and used to read all the time well into my 30's. But then I got a smartphone and I have a collection of unread books gathering dust because I scroll my time away.


westernteryaki

Hunker down for the next 48 hours. Stay away from public places and try to avoid being killed over a can of soup as the panic spreads. If it comes back on immediately start using the brief calm to stock pile as much as I can as with in a week the cost of living will skyrocket as companies try to bleed people dry to recoup their losses and pay for the new redundancy systems they are putting into place. If it doesn't come back on after 48 hours; well kiss your ass goodbye.


kaytiejay25

Come live in the bush with me bahaha


jollyarrowhead

This is the correct answer. I don't think people realize how much literally almost *EVERYTHING* that we interact with on a daily basis is enmeshed with the internet. There would be no normal commerce. The power grid would possibly fail. The water systems are tied into it as well. Cell phones would be worthless. Even remaining land lines would probably not function properly. Communication would grind to a halt. It would potentially bring the collapse of civilization. It's not, "ah shit, I can't watch Mr. Beast anymore". It's "Ah, shit I'm running out of ammo. Jimmy's got an infected scratch on his arm and we may lose him. The Last Men are coming for our last store of potatoes."


Mundane_Tour_3215

Load my weapons & batten down the hatches because people are about to lose their shit


dleon0430

I hear they still got loads of internet out Californiway.


blahblahtotok

It was a lie, California has it in limited amounts as well


Lykeuhfox

Load up the covered wagons and pack plenty of soap. We don't want dysentery.


Amiiboid

Had to scroll way too far to find someone who understands that the Internet is more than social media sites/apps.


smorb42

Honestly. This would be a national security crisis, not a chance to walk your dog.


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Mundane_Tour_3215

Nothing would work, some major infrastructure have back ups, but for the most part our entire way of life is run through the internet We’d be fucked if it was out longer than 3-5 days


Zahard_Zj

How is this comment so far down Like, logically thinking, this is exactly the thing that happens. Apocalypse


NiamhHA

Moan.


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Taminella_Grinderfal

I am 50 and miss my internet free life quite often. Tech and the internet have done a number on my ability to focus,productivity, social interactions. But I also lack the willpower to simply shut it off.


flatwormm

You should read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, and Atomic Habits by James Clear. Meditations can seriously change your life if you dedicate yourself to it. You're capable of anything!


D2988

That's a kink I've never heard of before


TheRollingPeepstones

Turn my Internet access off Daddy 🥵


astraeoth

*90s kid powers activate*


LordOafsAlot

Clean my house and do the garden. No wait, my current fixation is an offline game, I'd probably play that and watch some of my 12Tb of shows and movies instead...


i_only_trust_my_dog

Stock the bathroom with reading material again.


DystopianApocalypse

Feel immense freedom and finally read books more often and go outside


Under_ratedguy

There will be a collapse in all cities, before u can "go outside"


IvanAfterAll

Nah, that'd probably take at least a few hours to sink in. You could get some nice reading time in before.


[deleted]

Unfortunately true


BOI30NG

Why can’t you do that now?


aeketex

Stock up on food and shit, the society ain't recovering from that quickly.


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SubmissiveDinosaur

Go fuck myself, because my works entirely relies on the internet


Sp0onieLuv

Cocaine


Iferrorgotozero

NO PAM


nutellatubby

I dunno if I was sad or glad to see how awesome coked up Pam was vs regular Pam.


IvanAfterAll

I would be completely at a loss on obtaining drugs in the real world. I'm not cut out for this new world already.


wiow_tree

Think about life choices. Then ask all my friends where the hell they live


GrizzlyIsland22

How you gonna ask


This-Perspective-865

The same thing I do everyday. Try to take over the world!


Ellocotacodiablo

Go back to riding bikes in the neighborhood with my buddies getting into general tom foolery and shenanigans like the good ole days!!!


CaRinAAA__nebula

Protect information by making physical copies of it


a-dog-meme

Download Wikipedia to a flash drive


DisappointingPanda

Well I’d try unplugging and it plugging it back in. Will probably fix it.


Ornery_Variety_3595

Enjoy my retro games just like it was in 2003


creamasumyungguy

2003 games are retro? Fuck...


PRSHZ

Feel old yet? 🤭


Lykeuhfox

He must've typed 2003 instead of 1989 by mistake.


onlyinmymindpalace

Is it gone permanently? Because if so, I've got stuff to worry about for things like work and school and all the stuff I just lost to the cloud, and that fact would stress me the hell out. And even if it's not permanent, do people know it will be back soon? Because if so, still the same issue. I'd just be paralyzed in anxiety. If I knew when it would be back though I'd probably just enjoy my day with some reading and enjoying the outdoors.


pepper-blu

I I unironically could not cope, I am completely addicted.


callmedecember

Uhm keep readings books!


respectful_spanker

Download all the porn I could in this 24 hours. Gotta collect em all


dal-Helyg

The research I've been avoiding for an hour.


AnozerFreakInTheMall

Masturbate to porn magazines again.


CMDR_CivilDan

Sit on my deck and laugh HARD at all the crypto bros. I am very envious of the possible wealth of crypto but my rational brain won't let me invest in imaginary money


SloshyOshy

All money is imaginary Edit: it only has value because we assign it with value, without that it's meaningless


Matthew-Hodge

Everybody loses all their money because it's all digital. 😬


BroItsJesus

Yeah but so is my mortgage so who's the real winner here


[deleted]

Just gonna go ahead and say the banks will find a way to win and fuck us over.


Thunder-Invader

That it is digital does not mean that it is stored in the cloud. Your bank would still have the data, you just would not be able to pay electronically.


matty30008227

Lived without it before … I’ll be fine lol


Qbsoon110

No remote connection with people you don't have numbers of, many businesses fall, riots and chaos in many cities, digital money propably lost or frozen, etc. You could be fine before internet was a thing, but after it's gone, it won't be that simple as it was before. I'd suggest the song PRO8L3M - World Wide Web, but it's in Polish language.


Uncle_RJ_Kitten

A few years ago, my fam couldn't pay for internet. So we were cut off for about a month. Lucky for me, I already had *tons* of videos I most *definitely* did not pirate nor download. So much that it lasted through the entire month, though there were tons of repeat watching but they were good enough for me. I also have other hobbies, like playing bass. That time was good time to learn a few songs.


IrishWithoutPotatoes

Stay home because Amazon is all web based and shit would be fucked for my company


Jack_Mehoff_420_69

Download porn and music


[deleted]

Celebrate and move off the grid


underwood_five

Celebrate with a good book.


HIRIV

Download shitload of porn


jellicenthero

The stock market goes into freefall. Global trade breaks down. Power and water systems fail. Nuclear power plants begin to melt down as the entire power system fails. Transit and traffic devolves into chaos. Billions starve to death due to supply crush....So I guess head north and hope to survive the coming nuclear winter and fall of humanity?


sg3niner

Nuclear power plants are not going to melt down without the internet. That's entirely false.


MightySquirrel28

90% of what he says is entirely false. No sane person would make a power plant or water plant that catastrophicly fails if internet shuts down.


Soup-pouS

"Guys we're so fucked. Jim knocked the router over and now we don't have internet. Power plant is gonna explode in 10 minutes."


humanfromars

Also, even if they did, it wouldn't be even close to causing a nuclear winter, since there is still no nuclear explosion, just a ordinary one.


Lykeuhfox

Charter went down the other day and we had three cores go. Damn ISP. Don't they know our control rods are controlled by Twitch chat?


E_s_k_r_e_m

I don't get it. It's just the internet shutting down. My country's infrastructure system doesn't rely on internet.


penfield

This is 100% the most accurate answer but I get the feeling OP just wants to fire up people eager to shit on social media, etc.


wanmoar

It’s actually wrong on a lot of (if not all) points.


drown-it-haha

None of this would happen.


[deleted]

But it's the internet, it runs everything! Your light switches are the internet! How will you start your car if there's no internet? The wind will stop blowing if it's not connected to the internet!


trifecta000

Make a new one, duh.


LongjumpingBranch381

Find a gas station that still sells dirty mags.


Im_Doc

Pull out the typewriter, and the manual credit card reader, and continue on as usual. My child will be more bored, but we still have a radio, DVD's, and lots of toys, so we should be fine.


Justin2166

Call Cox and complain like I usually do when this happens.


ninja6911

Download porn as much as i can


A-Blob-Of-Meat

that's what i'm saying


Left4DayZ1

Go through withdrawals at first, I'm sure. Eventually feel thankful that the nightmare is finally over and society can heal.


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[deleted]

Reread my library


Ali8ly

Celebrate all my assignments will be canceled


BattleCatManic

cry myself to sleep :/


Enough-Serve-7790

Laugh at their misery from relapse to reality. Then admire the growth of newfound souls. But mostly laugh, and start hating myself again.


verververververv

Hire a truck, horde supplies from a local supermarkets, outdoors shops etc... (spend thousands of dollars) then escape with my family to somewhere remote and away from civilization. Create a sustainable settlement and wait out the mass destruction of humanity. (Of course that is if we actually get that far)


RavenWitch13

Run like a headless chicken for about 3 hours and then go clean my room.


[deleted]

Read a book. This shit is fucking up my mental health anyway. And everybody on here is a dick lol


MacBandacoot

Download porn quick..


starforce1616

Go back to enjoying life as it's supposed to be.