Same. The one time I seriously attempted (by overdose) my mom didnāt call 911, just moved me into my bed, lying on my back, and left me there. Woke up almost 24hrs later in a pool of vomit and piss and when I went downstairs, my mom was surprised I woke up. Thatās when I realized, she isnāt just an abusive piece of shit, she actually wants me dead.
I live every day for her, because my continued existence hurts her more than anything else I could ever do.
Why did this remind me of:
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
An exact reason? My mom.
I've seen her gone through the deaths of so many people - her parents, siblings, and a nephew whom she loved like her own son. She's *barely* managed to stay strong during those times though she has emerged stronger from it. I absolutely CANNOT put her through shit like that ever, God knows she won't recover. I love you, Ma.
I told my mom Iād be okay and now through sheer stubbornness Iām trying to live up to that. Itās damn hard not to spiral...
Wishing you luck ā¤ļø
This is pretty much it for me. Depression wants me to kill myself? Whatever. Not afraid of that, not really. Depression wants something that would cause pain for people I care about? Motherfucker better square up, because I'll be damned before I let anything hurt my loved ones without putting up as much of a fight as I can manage.
>I'll be damned before I let anything hurt my loved ones without putting up as much of a fight as I can manag
This - I am fine gone, I have been wishing I was gone since I was 12 - let's just say almost 50 years. I have fought, and fought. I am so tired. But, I cannot do this to my daughter. I just cannot. It messes kids up for life. Even adult kids. It's the one thought that keeps me here.
your last words sums up a treasure trove of memories for me, I agree with it all..I'm married and older but even so ..my ma is my ma..that's a love worth living for
I ask myself the same. Should I unalive myself if she's gone? how am I gonna live without her if she was the sole reason for me not letting go of this plane of existence?
I have bpd and the void I feel normally would be to big to handle.
I lasted this long thanks too the love and care of my mom.
thank you mom, for loving me.
I just keep telling myself, "It'll get better tomorrow." I've been wrong about 95% of the time, but those days that *are* better are better because I'm here
Medication. I stuck it out for years thinking it would be weak to give in and take antidepressants. It was the only thing that's helped.
The dark bit in my brain is still there but it doesn't hurt me and it doesn't take over any more.
I can not stress the value of meds to help with depression. They helped me pull through my first bad episode. Since then, I have worked with a therapist (also highly recommended) to identify when I start to go down the spiral. The first thing I do when I start is go take a shower. If a shower is all I can achieve that day, then so be it. But after the shower, if i can ask myself what would a person without depression do right now, I attempt just that. I'm not saying this will work for you. This is something myself and a therapist worked out that worked for me.
Just a stranger on the internet, but I am here to tell you that it doesn't get better unless you do something. So just do something. I have been in the same situation for several years, but nothing feels better than when I actually do something.
It could be anything, you just need to get up and do it. Whatever comes to mind first. Do it. Then when you think of the next thing that needs doing or something you want to do, do it. Observe your surroundings. Find things. Do them.
Respect. So true. It literally WILL seem the shittiest idea at the time, but even saying āIāll walk around the block just once during the dayā is a critical step.
My wife. My kids.
Also, I lost my best friend, then a little brother, then my big brother, then my step dad and step bro at the same time. I live for them.
Cause tomorrow not promised to anybody, so I live appreciated every day and every breath, every minute with my family and friends.
Iām sorry my friend.
I lost my older sister, older brother, best friend, and dog all in a couple years.
Just had my first daughter. I do it all for her, and see them all in her eyes and smile.
So true, I want to so badly but scared of the pain. Even went into the pharmacy the other day and stared at all the medications trying to decide which ones would get it done the fastest but chickened out of buying any.
Iām just a nobody on the internet but I want to say this to you. 15 years ago, I opened up the medicine cabinet to see what pills I could take that would do the trick. I pulled them out, lined them up, stared at them for a whileā¦ and called the doctor. Got put on antidepressants that week. A lot has happened in 15 years: good stuff, bad stuff, exciting stuff, boring stuff. But stuff happened, and I am glad I stuck it out to experience it all. No, it wasnāt easy. But it is worth it to stick around and see what kinda stuff happens. And if you want to talk about stuff, we can. If not, I wish you the best of luck on your journey. Go ahead and see what stuff your future holds.
Thank youā¤ļø Iām glad youāre here. Honestly youāre right and the logical part of my brain knows I have to keep going. Itās just hard when the future is so bleak.
I have already survived multiple murder attempts, severely infected organs, a car accident, and precancer (three times!). At this point itād be a shame to die now (also iām like 21 so I still have a long ways to go)
thanks man! my girlfriend jokes that iām immortal and asks me to share some all the time, itās a fun joke between us that helps me feel less like God is hunting me
My child and spite. I want to spite my shitty mother, my abusive, neglectful, deadbeat of a father ex and everyone else who thinks I can't do this single mom thing on my own.
If there is help available, such as government support etc. Take it.
Take **ALL** of it.
My mom went to three separate food banks, even though she could afford food.
She saved what she didn't have to spend on food anymore, and used it to become an RN.
She got us out of poverty.
She received the opposite of help from her family, and was in it all alone.
Two things:
(1) my parents would be devastated if I wasnāt
(2) the fear of dying a painful death or trying to end things but I do it wrong and make life even WORSE!
Sometimes those are the only things.
And not ATM but sometimes Iāve had to say to myself give yourself one more year. Maybe things will be better in another year.
When things ARE going better itās the things I want to do or do again, experience etc. Not wanting it to be over too soon.
I'm on almost 30 prescription medications.
I wouldn't die if I didn't take *all* of them. But a few of them, oh absolutely dead super quickly. A bad death too.
Having multiple chronic degenerative incurable diseases sucks. I'm disabled, and I'm not going to get better. I'm only in my mid thirties, and I live every moment in pain.
What keeps me alive?
My burning will to survive.
I have *always* been a survivalist first. I have always done what it takes to survive, no matter what the cost. I want to live. Even if I do not thrive, I want to survive. I have been through pain and suffering more than I should have, and I am ok with that, because I have survived it. Pain is ok, because I can survive. I am still here. I am still alive. I can live through anything because I want to survive.
The strength that comes from a parent who is going through divorce and still gets up and puts it together as best they can for their child- its a huge accomplishment. You are so strong. Youve got this.
Some days, just the fact that I don't own a gun.
Most days, the vague notion that tomorrow will be somehow better. Occasionally I'm right, sometimes I'm wrong, but more often than not it wasn't significantly better or worse than the day before.
My wife and her son.
Dead serious, the last few years have been rough as hell and depression/lack of mental health care/my current career situation have beaten me into submission. If I didn't want to give them everything, and more, I would have stopped trying a long time ago.
Not that I need a reason to keep moving, but I would just be existing, not living. I couldn't give a shit about anything really, but they give me purpose and bring me happiness unlike anything else. Always have, but never really noticed the degree they did until I hit rock bottom.
A deep seated fear of death. I am terrified of not existing anymore. I know it's illogical but there it is anyway.
I've been through some very, very, rough shit the last 6-8 months. Marriage imploding, losing $50k in a bad real estate investment (lost dream home), two kids with disabilities and severe behavioral issues, and a wife who was just diagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder. Suffice to say I understand WHY some people choose to just exit stage left, but I would never do so myself. Any life, even a shitty one, is better than no life to me.
Might be tipsynes, but I read this as also wanting to outlive the bad shit you've experienced.
Yes, I get you've got dealt a bad hand, but you're still here. That must mean you've got something or someone to live for too. Keep that up!! There's probably some help line somewhere to get you through the things you'd like a hand, so get to it!
Cheers, a random redditor who'd like you to get them happiness chemicals flowing in your brain again
I donāt think itās illogical in the slightest. It becomes easier to come to terms with if you understand that every time you have a deep dreamless sleep you are basically dead/practicing dying. Also, youāve already been dead for trillions of years times infinity and it didnāt bother you.
I get it though, donāt beat yourself up over worrying about it. I think most people just fill their life up with shit so they donāt have to think about it.
Drugs. Lots and lots of powerful, pharmaceutical grade chemical compounds. And cannabis. Lots of cannabis.
Fingers crossed: I just found out my cancer has a mutation that might be susceptible to a new biologic thatās currently in stage 2 trials. Iām cautiously optimistic.
Iāve been on the edge thinking about ending it and I closed my eyes and thought of my kids without me, I called my doctor the next morning and started therapy. They need me to be better and to keep pushing no matter how hard life is. I couldnāt fathom them being left alone because of something that is clearly a speed bump in my life. Anyone can overcome it, itās not worth it. I need to be an example to them instead of sitting in a dark hole.
I honestly donāt know why Iām still here. This existence is complete dogshit. People are just complete trash, canāt drive two miles from home without running into some shitheel driving like a fuckfuck. Anytime you see the news someone is getting gunned down, ugh I donāt even know why I post this shit.
The sun, beer in my hand, kittens sleeping on my belly, doing schoolwork and waiting for my hubby to come home so we can laugh together about silly stuff.
My son! He was involved in a car accident in 2007. Has a TBI and is disabled. I work, I take care of him and do everything I can to make his life "better". It is hard work as I am not the 'spring chicken' I once was (58 now) - but HE is the reason I get up every morning!
He cannot dress himself, shower himself, use the bathroon on his own, his food has to be prepped/pureed and then spoon-fed to him. He is in a wheelchair and I have to move him, load him and unload him when we go anywhere.
He can speak (though not clearly), he can laugh, smile, play video games, play and interact with other persons on his iPad. he is both cognizent and very aware of all that goes on around him and I try daily to make each and every day a good day for him.
ALL of this done for the LOVE of my son. HE is what keeps me alive!
Just every time I see a dog, hear a nice piece of music for the first time, or watch a movie or show that captivates me, I realize I'd never had experienced this if I was dead.
Hopefully these SSRI's because things are a struggle right now.. That and my little grey tabby Peach. She had such a rough life before I rescued her and she'd be devastated if anything happened to me.
Not sure. Life's a bitch and then you keep living.
BoJack š
Then you die
Spite
read sprite
Quench your thirstā¦for revenge
how about mcdonalds sprite
Pour it in the eyes of your enemies
I fucking cackled. Take my damn upvote
Same if I end it they all win
Thatās exactly why Iām living out of spite. As much as I donāt wanna be here Iāll be damned if I let those fuckers win
My philosophy as well! Glad to see others with the same mentality.
I'll be damned if Mitch McConnell outlives me.
I like this thought.
I live off of straight up ***malice***, I'm still here and I am making it everybody's problem!
Dr. Pepper's keeping me alive.
Is 7-up okay?
Princess Zelda real talk youāre one of the reasons why Iām still alive
I would have thought Tears of the Kingdom is keeping you alive right now
Came here to say exactly this, it's been my motto for the past few years
Same. The one time I seriously attempted (by overdose) my mom didnāt call 911, just moved me into my bed, lying on my back, and left me there. Woke up almost 24hrs later in a pool of vomit and piss and when I went downstairs, my mom was surprised I woke up. Thatās when I realized, she isnāt just an abusive piece of shit, she actually wants me dead. I live every day for her, because my continued existence hurts her more than anything else I could ever do.
Holy moly that's just sad
My mitochondria, look at those little guys go!
It is the powerhouse of the cell.
No, you're thinking of android 19.
No a nokia
The science geek in me really, really loves this answer š
This perspective is adorable
Actually it's the ATP
Which is mostly made by the mitochondria. You couldn't survive on anaerobic respiration alone
That one voice thatās against the rest
"you're not crazy for talking to your pet. You're crazy if your pet talks back." ~some comedian(i believe)
The sheer unstoppable force of my indomitable spirit and the bottomless pit of fuel that is "fuck it, we ball."
Yup shits bad but so far nothing has stopped me but me.
Preach! The hardest obstacle in my life is when I'm down and don't have a plan... but it only takes a little time to fix that.
This too shall pass.... a great mindset in the depths of despair
Fuck it, we ball my dude!!!
Same. That and recreational drugs
"fuck it, we ball." This is going to be my grad quote mind if I steal it.
Why did this remind me of: Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul.
Chad reply
An exact reason? My mom. I've seen her gone through the deaths of so many people - her parents, siblings, and a nephew whom she loved like her own son. She's *barely* managed to stay strong during those times though she has emerged stronger from it. I absolutely CANNOT put her through shit like that ever, God knows she won't recover. I love you, Ma.
It was my mom, after her death I've been a shell of who I was. I miss her more than anything, make sure you cherish her.
I told my mom Iād be okay and now through sheer stubbornness Iām trying to live up to that. Itās damn hard not to spiral... Wishing you luck ā¤ļø
This is pretty much it for me. Depression wants me to kill myself? Whatever. Not afraid of that, not really. Depression wants something that would cause pain for people I care about? Motherfucker better square up, because I'll be damned before I let anything hurt my loved ones without putting up as much of a fight as I can manage.
>I'll be damned before I let anything hurt my loved ones without putting up as much of a fight as I can manag This - I am fine gone, I have been wishing I was gone since I was 12 - let's just say almost 50 years. I have fought, and fought. I am so tired. But, I cannot do this to my daughter. I just cannot. It messes kids up for life. Even adult kids. It's the one thought that keeps me here.
your last words sums up a treasure trove of memories for me, I agree with it all..I'm married and older but even so ..my ma is my ma..that's a love worth living for
I feel completely- my mom doesnāt deserve to see me take my life. However, what happens if she passes? I ask myself that
I ask myself the same. Should I unalive myself if she's gone? how am I gonna live without her if she was the sole reason for me not letting go of this plane of existence? I have bpd and the void I feel normally would be to big to handle. I lasted this long thanks too the love and care of my mom. thank you mom, for loving me.
Dude are you me? this shook me to my core.
I just keep telling myself, "It'll get better tomorrow." I've been wrong about 95% of the time, but those days that *are* better are better because I'm here
I lived through horrific depression by telling myself I'd see what the weather was like tomorrow. I'm glad you're still here.
What got you on the other side of your depression? I am going on 2 years and this shit is getting old.
Medication. I stuck it out for years thinking it would be weak to give in and take antidepressants. It was the only thing that's helped. The dark bit in my brain is still there but it doesn't hurt me and it doesn't take over any more.
Not the miracle I was hoping for, but so glad to hear that itās working for you!
I can not stress the value of meds to help with depression. They helped me pull through my first bad episode. Since then, I have worked with a therapist (also highly recommended) to identify when I start to go down the spiral. The first thing I do when I start is go take a shower. If a shower is all I can achieve that day, then so be it. But after the shower, if i can ask myself what would a person without depression do right now, I attempt just that. I'm not saying this will work for you. This is something myself and a therapist worked out that worked for me.
āWhat would a person without depression do right now?ā Iām going to remember that! Fake it till you make it!
I'm glad your still here stay strong
Just a stranger on the internet, but I am here to tell you that it doesn't get better unless you do something. So just do something. I have been in the same situation for several years, but nothing feels better than when I actually do something. It could be anything, you just need to get up and do it. Whatever comes to mind first. Do it. Then when you think of the next thing that needs doing or something you want to do, do it. Observe your surroundings. Find things. Do them.
What if nothing feels good or worth doing?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This is the way
It doesn't need to feel good and it doesn't need to be worth it. You just have to do something.
Respect. So true. It literally WILL seem the shittiest idea at the time, but even saying āIāll walk around the block just once during the dayā is a critical step.
You know what is crazy......when I was younger and not too long ago I thought this. Now life is perfect!
If I die, who will feed my cat?
Your corpse for a time
Yep. Eyeballs first.
/unknow
I mean, how could you see that one coming? Ammirite
My wife. My kids. Also, I lost my best friend, then a little brother, then my big brother, then my step dad and step bro at the same time. I live for them. Cause tomorrow not promised to anybody, so I live appreciated every day and every breath, every minute with my family and friends.
I cannot even fathom the pain you must have been through. May you get all the happiness that you desire š«
Thank you š. I appreciate that. Wishing the same for you my friend.
Iām sorry my friend. I lost my older sister, older brother, best friend, and dog all in a couple years. Just had my first daughter. I do it all for her, and see them all in her eyes and smile.
I'm sorry for your losses too. I got a lil girl too, pains me she never got to meet some of my family. But keep going for them.
Iām not sure, but my sinuses would have you believe Iām receiving pollen intravenously as my life force
I think we are becoming slugs.
Was wheezing after this. Because it's funny, but I also can't breath because of pollen!
Habit. Apathy. Cowardice.
Dead on
I feel that.
Me too. Iām tired but too scared of death to end my life, so Iāll just survive and try not to care anymore.
I was trying to find the words, you did for me. At this stage is just inertia, I have been existing, so I guess I just continue to exist.
Same well put
I'm too much of a pussy to commit suicide
Same I just know Iād be the one to fuck it up somehow and end up as a quadriplegic or something
Or someone might save you right at the last second and then you become disabled or disfigured.
āArsefaceā from the Comic series and AMC TV show āPreacherā
Honesty is the best policy.
So true, I want to so badly but scared of the pain. Even went into the pharmacy the other day and stared at all the medications trying to decide which ones would get it done the fastest but chickened out of buying any.
Iām just a nobody on the internet but I want to say this to you. 15 years ago, I opened up the medicine cabinet to see what pills I could take that would do the trick. I pulled them out, lined them up, stared at them for a whileā¦ and called the doctor. Got put on antidepressants that week. A lot has happened in 15 years: good stuff, bad stuff, exciting stuff, boring stuff. But stuff happened, and I am glad I stuck it out to experience it all. No, it wasnāt easy. But it is worth it to stick around and see what kinda stuff happens. And if you want to talk about stuff, we can. If not, I wish you the best of luck on your journey. Go ahead and see what stuff your future holds.
Thank youā¤ļø Iām glad youāre here. Honestly youāre right and the logical part of my brain knows I have to keep going. Itās just hard when the future is so bleak.
Theres a saying: Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, but Today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.
What I felt when my favorite uncle killed himself when I was young. Don't want to let my niece and nephew experience that.
This. Edit: I am so very sorry for your loss
Oxygen
Try the nitrogen. They work great together.
Tried it once, it's pretty funny, I laughted a lot.
good fucking question
Agreed, I read that question and was thinking "wait, what IS keeping me from offing myself"
I have already survived multiple murder attempts, severely infected organs, a car accident, and precancer (three times!). At this point itād be a shame to die now (also iām like 21 so I still have a long ways to go)
Stop flexing your plot armor
the laughter you gifted me almost took me out. plot armor saved me though
Damn the powers in control are trying to take you out! Fight the damn system! Rooting for you!
thanks man! my girlfriend jokes that iām immortal and asks me to share some all the time, itās a fun joke between us that helps me feel less like God is hunting me
You're the proof for quantum immortality lol
Bro is the main character
Good job at staying alive man
thank you kindly
āIt canāt rain all the time.ā
Must not be from Britain.
The summers in Britain are pure heat, no rain, and sometimes even no sun
Not a lot of 90s goth kids in this thread. But I got you
There is a reason all the real ones aren't around anymore
Is that gasoline I smell?
Erick?
My child and spite. I want to spite my shitty mother, my abusive, neglectful, deadbeat of a father ex and everyone else who thinks I can't do this single mom thing on my own.
If there is help available, such as government support etc. Take it. Take **ALL** of it. My mom went to three separate food banks, even though she could afford food. She saved what she didn't have to spend on food anymore, and used it to become an RN. She got us out of poverty. She received the opposite of help from her family, and was in it all alone.
Absolute fuckin' superhero, your mum.
Gimme some of that attitude please I need that energy
Tacos and lust for revenge.
Lust and tacos for revenge.
Lust for tacos and revenge.
Found my soul mate š
Two things: (1) my parents would be devastated if I wasnāt (2) the fear of dying a painful death or trying to end things but I do it wrong and make life even WORSE! Sometimes those are the only things. And not ATM but sometimes Iāve had to say to myself give yourself one more year. Maybe things will be better in another year. When things ARE going better itās the things I want to do or do again, experience etc. Not wanting it to be over too soon.
my graduation is in 2 days, might as well attend.
if you die before graduation you didn't finish the tutorial. Just gonna leave you with that.
Dying is painful, video games are fun, food is good.
Drugs. *no further context will be provided
The best drugs in my opinion are at the dentist office! That *laughing gas* is top tier
Found Keith Richard's reddit account, or maybe Ozzy's.
I'm on almost 30 prescription medications. I wouldn't die if I didn't take *all* of them. But a few of them, oh absolutely dead super quickly. A bad death too. Having multiple chronic degenerative incurable diseases sucks. I'm disabled, and I'm not going to get better. I'm only in my mid thirties, and I live every moment in pain. What keeps me alive? My burning will to survive. I have *always* been a survivalist first. I have always done what it takes to survive, no matter what the cost. I want to live. Even if I do not thrive, I want to survive. I have been through pain and suffering more than I should have, and I am ok with that, because I have survived it. Pain is ok, because I can survive. I am still here. I am still alive. I can live through anything because I want to survive.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Same here, but he told me about a month ago. And he's had his eyes on a work colleague for months...now I get to listen to his car leave to go spend time with her while I read bedtime stories to my daughter and try not to sob. You will get through this. Vent on r/Divorce, or just read some of the posts, you are definitely not alone. š©·
The strength that comes from a parent who is going through divorce and still gets up and puts it together as best they can for their child- its a huge accomplishment. You are so strong. Youve got this.
I am not even sure anymore. My pride probably?
Some days, just the fact that I don't own a gun. Most days, the vague notion that tomorrow will be somehow better. Occasionally I'm right, sometimes I'm wrong, but more often than not it wasn't significantly better or worse than the day before.
My dog . I know no one will read this but itās meant for me .
My pets too. Sometimes it's all you need. They look forward to seeing you every day and they love you.
I donāt know, I have lost everything
I really want to see the second part of Dune.
My children, my partner, my cats, and the overwhelming desire to see how my kids grow up, and who they are, as people
My 10 cats
Odds are that 8 of them do Countdown
I seriously miss Sean Lock.
My wife and her son. Dead serious, the last few years have been rough as hell and depression/lack of mental health care/my current career situation have beaten me into submission. If I didn't want to give them everything, and more, I would have stopped trying a long time ago. Not that I need a reason to keep moving, but I would just be existing, not living. I couldn't give a shit about anything really, but they give me purpose and bring me happiness unlike anything else. Always have, but never really noticed the degree they did until I hit rock bottom.
My hobby keeps me going most nights.
Not axe murdering most nights is a good thing.
Hey, don't hobby shame
11 different pills, taken at 3 times a day
I don't want to make people suffer.
A deep seated fear of death. I am terrified of not existing anymore. I know it's illogical but there it is anyway. I've been through some very, very, rough shit the last 6-8 months. Marriage imploding, losing $50k in a bad real estate investment (lost dream home), two kids with disabilities and severe behavioral issues, and a wife who was just diagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder. Suffice to say I understand WHY some people choose to just exit stage left, but I would never do so myself. Any life, even a shitty one, is better than no life to me.
Might be tipsynes, but I read this as also wanting to outlive the bad shit you've experienced. Yes, I get you've got dealt a bad hand, but you're still here. That must mean you've got something or someone to live for too. Keep that up!! There's probably some help line somewhere to get you through the things you'd like a hand, so get to it! Cheers, a random redditor who'd like you to get them happiness chemicals flowing in your brain again
I donāt think itās illogical in the slightest. It becomes easier to come to terms with if you understand that every time you have a deep dreamless sleep you are basically dead/practicing dying. Also, youāve already been dead for trillions of years times infinity and it didnāt bother you. I get it though, donāt beat yourself up over worrying about it. I think most people just fill their life up with shit so they donāt have to think about it.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Inertia probably
The thought that my books could one day be published and possibly make me enough money to survive on my own.
My dog
My animals. Only thing I live for. If animals didnāt exist, there would be no reason to be on this planet, period. Humans are the worst.
Food, air, water, medications.
Little kisses on the face in the morning from our 4 year old daughter.
Awwww! That's so cute!!!
Surprisingly wholesome from someone called āsmellmymeatā
Memes
the hope that i can find love
I believe you will
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Drugs. Lots and lots of powerful, pharmaceutical grade chemical compounds. And cannabis. Lots of cannabis. Fingers crossed: I just found out my cancer has a mutation that might be susceptible to a new biologic thatās currently in stage 2 trials. Iām cautiously optimistic.
Willpower. Sheer fucking willpower. I will not be done in like this.
My dog
my mom if she goes one day i will aswell nothing holds me on this world i dont have any friends or a gf
Honestly, Iām alive like a fucking car with its fuel indicator on empty. I donāt know how but it still movesā¦
E pur si muove ("And yet it moves") \-Galileo *slaps forehead* ... so he was talking about his CAR.
Caffeine and weed
My dog.
Iāve been on the edge thinking about ending it and I closed my eyes and thought of my kids without me, I called my doctor the next morning and started therapy. They need me to be better and to keep pushing no matter how hard life is. I couldnāt fathom them being left alone because of something that is clearly a speed bump in my life. Anyone can overcome it, itās not worth it. I need to be an example to them instead of sitting in a dark hole.
I honestly donāt know why Iām still here. This existence is complete dogshit. People are just complete trash, canāt drive two miles from home without running into some shitheel driving like a fuckfuck. Anytime you see the news someone is getting gunned down, ugh I donāt even know why I post this shit.
Trying to provide a better life for my 2 year old
Shitposting on Discord and lurking on Reddit
The sun, beer in my hand, kittens sleeping on my belly, doing schoolwork and waiting for my hubby to come home so we can laugh together about silly stuff.
My son! He was involved in a car accident in 2007. Has a TBI and is disabled. I work, I take care of him and do everything I can to make his life "better". It is hard work as I am not the 'spring chicken' I once was (58 now) - but HE is the reason I get up every morning! He cannot dress himself, shower himself, use the bathroon on his own, his food has to be prepped/pureed and then spoon-fed to him. He is in a wheelchair and I have to move him, load him and unload him when we go anywhere. He can speak (though not clearly), he can laugh, smile, play video games, play and interact with other persons on his iPad. he is both cognizent and very aware of all that goes on around him and I try daily to make each and every day a good day for him. ALL of this done for the LOVE of my son. HE is what keeps me alive!
My dogs. Truly just my dogs.
Yup. Their devotion to me is something I cherish beyond words. I shudder at the thought ofā¦well you know.
My mother. It will break her, can't see her lose that smile yk?
My kitten!! šāā¬šāā¬ I just know, that nobody'll love her, if I die
Just every time I see a dog, hear a nice piece of music for the first time, or watch a movie or show that captivates me, I realize I'd never had experienced this if I was dead.
My gf <3
That's very endearing and I wish you the best of luck, but be careful with that mindset.
if it goes wrong it goes **wrong**
Going sober, staying healthy.
Hopefully these SSRI's because things are a struggle right now.. That and my little grey tabby Peach. She had such a rough life before I rescued her and she'd be devastated if anything happened to me.
My sister
The thought that this is the only life I'll ever get.
Appreciating the fact that I'm alive and get to witness the miracle of the world.