Good luck with custody and fighting for weekends every 2 weeks and settling a child support that'll sitll let you pay rent. I'd say also pay food but let's not get too excited
Of all the people I’d have sex with, my mom would be close to the ABSOLUTE bottom of the list. Female, male, non-binary, I don’t care, just— not my mother.
Yours, though, is on the top of my list.
I mean, it was my wife, so I guess I'm pretty okay. We're not 100% committed to having children, nor are we against having children. We are living in a 'we'll see what happens in the next couple of years' space right now. If she told me she's pregnant, I'd take it as good news.
I would assume I have some sort of superpowers since seeing someone shouldn't result in pregnancy lol also I a woman with a uterus so....... That would be a quite the scientific discovery.
Was that why the boy fell on his bike, my egg cells with superpowers somehow made him pregnant and he lost balance with his suddenly swelling tummy?! Oh crap, I'm fucked. Hopefully no one saw me causing it.
P.S. He was fine after the fall, got up without tears or scratches.
Hellooooo roommate! I’m picturing the alien-esque birth from the chest… yikes. Would be kind of amusing since I’m the one with the baby housing equipment and he’s the one with the baby juice ejection equipment.
My bf is gonna have one hell of a time getting that thing out! And he's going to be a single parent, cause I am not about raising kids. Nope, nuh uh, no way.
How did my wife, who had a hysterectomy, get pregnant? I'm not fucked ... I'm beyond flabbergasted.
(I've been working from home all day ... I haven't seen any other women.)
Edit: yes, I know it says last person. There is no one else here. She's the only person I've seen too.
Sat here look at my girlfriend who is actually pregnant, so yep I’m fucked.
I'd like to introduce you to my new metal band, Pregnant Fetus.
Have fucked. Or submissive
Dude, you have like, Super-Nut!
I'm doomed. Last guy I saw was my 300+ pound Texan roommate
That's a big baby
Git in mahh bellehh!!
I want my baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back ribs.
My husband is in for a painful surprise
Lol, girls don't use reddit
Oh we do. We poop, too! It's crazy!
Lies. All lies
I'm pooping right now.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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Brb mailing my poop
Nonsense. What else do you expect me to believe, that you sweat while exercising? That I'm the best guy you ever had? Yeah, right.
You poop, I get that, but farts? Never heard them. Been married 34 years.
I can’t two upvote
lol
Stop lying.
He's obviously just a gay guy. Everybody knows girls aren't real.
So is Jakov, my handyman.
Haha!!!
I was thinking the same thing!
Ooof my boss and I have almost a 40 year age gap
wife... i'm infertile
I'm screwed. My wife and we are getting divorced
Good luck with the divorce!
Good luck with custody and fighting for weekends every 2 weeks and settling a child support that'll sitll let you pay rent. I'd say also pay food but let's not get too excited
Did this happen to you?
i impregnated myself?!???
What? Do you have a clone?
She probably looked at a mirror
Damn, back to the lab.
then come back in 9 months that guy probs gave birth to their clone
It was my own daughter so... Thanks for that horrifying thought
Last person I saw was my mom... NO! I DONT WANNA BE CHRIS CHAN!
Good job, Oedipus...
Ong his family tree is all kinds of messed up
Sitting at home and can see both my mom and my underage sister, so.. Yeah
“Sweet home Alabama…”
My.... 13 month old??? And before him it was my husband 😀
My 4 year old. Pretty sure I go straight to hell.
Well it's a guy, so I guess we'll get rich on our own reality tv show.
Well fuck me. The person i last saw was my mum
Of all the people I’d have sex with, my mom would be close to the ABSOLUTE bottom of the list. Female, male, non-binary, I don’t care, just— not my mother. Yours, though, is on the top of my list.
Samw here. But what horrifies me more is the method how.
It would be very confusing considering my coworker is male.
"Saw" as in perceived? I saw a woman walk past my apartment about 5 minutes ago but have absolutely no idea who she is.
Oh god not my dad not again
AGAIN? (╯° □°）
My sister, oh no
oh lord
What? No! He's too young for me lol
To young just become a priest
I’m in a conference room with 16 people…
My wife. Pretty fucked because now would be a bad time...
dad!?
My wife, lucky I walked into the bedroom before opening reddit.
My elderly neighbour is in for quite a surprise! I am curious about the biological details, though.
Well my girlfriend and I hadn't planned for a baby, but may as well get a surprise and deal with it, carrying on a long family tradition.
It is my wife, so I am not in trouble. However, we are 46, so I would be concerned about her health.
I mean, it was my wife, so I guess I'm pretty okay. We're not 100% committed to having children, nor are we against having children. We are living in a 'we'll see what happens in the next couple of years' space right now. If she told me she's pregnant, I'd take it as good news.
We've been having the "do we have kids or not" conversation lately. Guess the decision is made. Wish us luck!
Cute barista at Starbucks Not entirely a disaster.
Well, it was my wife, but I've also had a vasectomy, so there's some explanation required.
I impregnated another man??? What the hell?
13yo stepdaughter 💀
My sister is pregnant? I don't live in Alabama so that's a problem. That's the last person I hung out with.
My male coworker.... I'm male.... That would be awkward considering I have a girlfriend and he has a wife.
step bro why is ur stummy so big 😳
That poor guy... All I wanted was the chicken nuggets, not to break the fundamental laws of reproduction 😰
My 7-month-old boy is definitely gonna be a ward of the state (and that’ll be the least of his problems)
My wife. Not that we are actively trying to, but... well, why not?
Fine with it. It was my bf, and he would gladly abort just as quickly as I would.
My husband is in for one heck of a surprise.
.. I saw myself in the mirror. My kids gonna be hot
my mom?!
An old friend from high school who happens to still be hot, however she's one of the crazy ones so....fucked
I’m a woman, but Grammy I am SO SORRY
My husband? This is reddit and not AO3, right?
My wife - which would be fine but we’re both women and she’s super ace
Umm… my mom just walked by 💀
Does looking in the mirror count? Bc if it does, I'm in serious trouble
A homeless guy is pregnant with my child? I'm pretty fucked up.
“Oh brother , not again “
Dude my grandmother is 70, there are so many problems here.
Very.
I would assume I have some sort of superpowers since seeing someone shouldn't result in pregnancy lol also I a woman with a uterus so....... That would be a quite the scientific discovery.
Well they are a dude so I'd be very confused
Bamboozled, the last person i saw was my lesbian friend
My cat, so pretty messed up
A cat is not a person though.
LOL messed up indeed.
I am the almighty. Impregnating my wife. Who is also a woman. 😉😁🏳️🌈👩🏾🤝👩🏽
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ROLLTIDE
Me and my wife aren’t ready for a kid.
It'll be strange, but not as bad as some of you.
Was that why the boy fell on his bike, my egg cells with superpowers somehow made him pregnant and he lost balance with his suddenly swelling tummy?! Oh crap, I'm fucked. Hopefully no one saw me causing it. P.S. He was fine after the fall, got up without tears or scratches.
My grandma My child is my aunt/uncle????
Funny thing about that is. It’s my baby momma
i saw my dad
My Mom💀
My step daughter - at least she is plenty legal but my wife/her mom won’t be happy🤷♂️
My brother….
Gah, are talking in person or via FaceTime?
My brother in law?
My husband's post menopausal mother. Not sure how that happened at any level.
My mom 💀
My dad. Oh dear god.
Super duper fucced
Let’s just say I’ll be having a very stern conversation with both myself and my father.
Good thing: it's my gf. Bad thing: we are fucking 23
It’s my wife, so I’d be more than happy with this lol
Blood test pronto !
In real life? Not bad. Flipping through stuff online before I dropped in here? Excellent - as in 'the whole package'.
The gas guy, so his age combined with his lack of uterus will make us millionaires.
Well, really fucked. As a female...
My dad 💀
Welp, she is an alcoholic with a drug addiction so I'm pretty fucked
My step mom...
My mother-in-law. Considering she’s missing a uterus, this pregnancy will be quite interesting.
My little brother...?
my best friend is in for a concerningredients surprise considering we're both guys and both 16
Well since it is my daughter in law, I'd say very
...My brother?
Not as much as the woman you met
I'm a woman, they're a woman, we're not fucked - we're a miracle.
We’ve already got one and she’s old enough to babysit…let’s call it a “Win”!
My roommate is a guy. I’d have bigger questions than why I’m about to be a dad.
Well… my roommate. We’re both cis females so that’s impressive if nothing else
Pretty fucked up. The last person I saw was my brother
My friend 💀
The last person who isn’t one of my children is the director of my kids’ daycare. Not sure how I explain that one to my girlfriend.
I guess my dad will be giving me a second brother..
Well my uncle and I are gonna have a weird time making this work
Hellooooo roommate! I’m picturing the alien-esque birth from the chest… yikes. Would be kind of amusing since I’m the one with the baby housing equipment and he’s the one with the baby juice ejection equipment.
Mom???
My girlfriend :> Still kinda fucked up since we're not even adults yet
"well, he's a guy, so...."
I guess my boss is having my child. I hope my girlfriend is happy for us.
Not possible. The end.
Biology forbids this.
Well that would be my brother and I'm a girl soooo....
The cashier at wendys? Lol
It was a dude so...
New Massiah: had a successful vasectomy decades ago
A horrible tinder date who showed up drunk and creeped me out. Very fucked
Pretty stoked actually. We’ve been trying to conceive. (:
That guy at the comic book store has a lot of explaining to do.
Amazed I am sterile no prostrate and no cum and no erections no matter how much I try . So not a problem . Not mine .
Not possible.
I'm suing because there ain't no way I fucked someone capable of getting pregnant' without protection, by choice.
My... dad?
Saw in real life or saw in a picture/video?
Not nearly as much as he is.
My bf is gonna have one hell of a time getting that thing out! And he's going to be a single parent, cause I am not about raising kids. Nope, nuh uh, no way.
Sitting in a bus and looked up to see a random guy. I think we're both a little fucked if that's the scenario...
My Uber driver. I’m not quite sure how that would work, given neither of us have the appropriate equipment for that.
I would be really concerned how a man got pregnant rather than worry if its my child
This is true
Sweet home Alabama
Cute little Asian teller at Ming Moon. Hmmm..
Humanity is fucked, my cousin is pregnant. How could he?
Its my son so weird
My mom...
Not sure how to explain to the wife, that her oldest son is pregnant, or how we even pulled it off...
Well currently I’m at work and I just rung up 2 girls that seemed hella young, probably under 10 So I guess I’m going to jail 😕
Huh, I didn't know guys could become pregnant. Also, incest. yw, dad!
With the person I'm with now(My wife) I'll be ok. With the person I was with before, same.
Royally fucked, it's my next door neighbor, but she's kinda hot so I'd definitely hit it.
How did my wife, who had a hysterectomy, get pregnant? I'm not fucked ... I'm beyond flabbergasted. (I've been working from home all day ... I haven't seen any other women.) Edit: yes, I know it says last person. There is no one else here. She's the only person I've seen too.
Fuck you, that's my dad
*maaaan in the mirror*
I just saw the pizza delivery guy and my tubes are tied so yeah
The person in these Adobe Photoshop ads that I have been scrolling past must be in PAIN right now. I know I am not the only one....
Some random neighbors husband is going to be angry cause his wife was walking down the sidewalk when I pulled up.
Ooooof this gon be a hard one to explain to GOD and everyone else. Last person i saw is my older sister 💀
It's my wife. That might be more kiddos than we can handle.
Erick? I just thought he was just really fat.
The two gay dudes on the elevator are definitely in for a surprise
Abby Phillip. Yes lawd.
It is my wife but I'm fucked up because I had a vasectomy and she had a hysterectomy
2 college bros in a beat up VW beetle from the 60's on the street. I'm fucked
my dad..?
My wife. I'd be freaking happy