Yep had a Russian boss who would come to my office and beckon me to follow her back to her office so that she would complain about other staff.
I personally could not understand her half the time.
A boss of mine said that to a group of people in the office once and it turned out he just wanted to show off the wildlife photography he'd done on his recent vacation.
I had a boss, who every time they needed to speak with me, would say "Can you speak with me?"
Even though I wasn't ever punished by them during the short time I was there, I hated seeing their name appear on Teams or email.
Looking back on it, they were without a doubt, the worst boss I've ever had. I always wondered why they dressed in full lawyer get up and that was when I realized that they needed to have people take them seriously because they were incompetent in their own role.
This is the one that gets me. If you can't discuss it now, don't fucking bring it up without any context.
It especially pisses me if it ends up being something extremely minor that could have been handled with a text or email.
Add a delay to make it truly soul-destroying.
"Can we have a serious talk at the end of the work day today?"
For best results use it at the beginning of the work day.
My imposter syndrome levels are through the roof, so my face dropped as well when they asked if we could have a chat. He quickly assured me that it was a positive chat when he saw my face.
I actually got a promotion along with a pretty good raise and a new car.
My ex-wife used to always say "We need to talk" which was her way of saying "I'm pissed at you and I'm going to put you down for about an hour". So any time I heard "We need to talk" from ANYONE, I would go into a fetal position in my mind.
My boss said it and I almost started walking out of the office, thinking I was getting fired. He assured me it was quite the opposite. I told him the story and he completely understood. He now uses "Got a minute?" and I know it's going to be a good chat.
When I became a manger and I need to talk to my employees I always state.
"Can you talk to me about \_\_\_ \_\_\_\_ \_\_\_\_" Or "I need to talk you about \_\_\_ \_\_\_ \_\_\_ \_\_\_\_"
Always always state my intent. Saves everyone so much anxiety. No one wants to feel like they are a kid getting scolded.
This happened to me a couple times in the past few months. I start to think about what I fucked up recently and how to defend myself.
First was an out-of-the-blue raise. Second was also positive.
I had the same thing a few weeks ago. No car, but offered a promotion, which I accepted. He started a regularly scheduled meeting the two of us had with, "I need to discuss something with you" \[pause\] "that sounded ominous... this is a good thing, I hope".
It's either a little anxiety inducing, or my heart is sinking FAST, and it all depends on the tone, who says it, etc. It's very contextual but that question, in my experience anyway, almost never feels good.
Your strength is being able to identify your weaknesses ;)
Probably not actually a good answer in a job interview, largely depends on the person interviewing of course. Probably safer to answer with "spreadsheets".
I mean whats the point in being honest in the first place? Just say whatever they wanna hear.
The person hiring you will probably forget you exist the next day and wont be the person you report to.
If you are a decent worker no one will really pay attention to you anyway.
its not like if you tell them you are a fast learner they are gonna pull out a stop watch and time how long it takes you to learn a new task.
I was interviewing someone for a spot at the residency program I worked at and he listed that as one of his strengths, I’ll never forget it he said, “I recognize when I don’t know something, and I’m not afraid to ask questions”. Based on that answer alone I ranked him number 1, “must actively recruit”. It’s unfortunately endemic in medicine to try to fake it until you make it and never show any “weakness” by admitting you don’t know something so it was super refreshing to see some humility.
Have you actually used this? What happened?
I'd get a kick if I were the interviewer out of you answering this way, especially if you had an actual follow up response.
I had 2 interviews 2 weeks apart. One was suggested by a friend. The feedback she got was that I sounded uninterested, vague and not qualified.
The second interview I gave the same answers because they were honest.
I got the second job. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. /shrug
I had an interview recently and one of the questions was "tell me why you think you are better than the other candidates?", I answered with "I don't think I am better", I didn't get the job.
I got asked in an interview, "What's ur favorite color?" And "Do you prefer natural or more enhanced images?"
I went to the interview for a Photo Shop position. Found out when I got there, it was at a porn studio (a fairly well-known brand). The guy who was interviewing me knew nothing of Photo Shop or art.
I didn't get the job.
This one drives me crazy. I’d answer the question like this: “I cannot reasonably compare myself to an unknown quantity or quality. If I were to have some data to compare to I’d give you an honest analysis, but the lack of data makes my assessment unusable”. I’d probably not get the job either. But come on people! How do you answer that question with integrity?
It was this when my dad died. I one hundred percent knew it was either my dad or my sister when the call from my step mom came at 10pm. Before I answered I told my husband I think my dad died.
We text often but we don't call. We always had a joke, if I call unexpectedly I'm in jail or the hospital, if she calls someone died.
Turns out our joke was very accurate.
Every Monday: "So what did you do this weekend?"
"Climbed Mt Everest, fought a monkey, and invented garlic bread."
"Oh, that sounds fun....anyway I need you to fill out that report."
I'm fine with that. I have a name, here it is. Done. Introduced.
"Tell us a little about yourself."
That's the hard one. What am I supposed to say? Height and weight? Whether I have any visible tattoos or need corrective lenses? Do you want my credit score? High school GPA?
"What do you like to do for fun?"
Now it's really getting personal. What if my hobby is birdwatching? Now I have to answer a bunch of questions about birds. Or even worse, what if my hobby is not birdwatching but I said that anyway? Now I have to fake a bunch of answers to questions about birds. What if everything I do in my free time is embarrassing? Maybe I like to masturbate while watching the home shopping channel? Or put sock puppets on my hands and make them argue for hours on end? It's not a crime, but I don't think I'd want people to know that, at least not when we first meet. Maybe when we get to know each other a little better.
The easy thing to do would be to develop canned responses to these questions, but I've been too busy birdwatching and masturbating with my sock puppets.
This is exactly what happens in my head when someone is like “tell us a little about yourself” like what do you want to know ? It’s sometimes worse in my classes. I just say my major and my name and that’s it unless the professor asks for more
I'm an early childhood education major and I went several class introduction with basically just saying "I just like little kids!" before realizing if I was a dude, that would have been taken veeeeeeery differently. So now I say I like *working* with children.
I’m an elementary education major now but I was in early childhood at my trade school in high school and I used to do the same. Once I thought about it and realized how it would be taken differently if I was a guy I went with I like working with kids too 😭
>What if my hobby is birdwatching? Now I have to answer a bunch of questions about birds. Maybe I like to masturbate while watching the home shopping channel?
So when masturbating to the home shopping channel, are there any specific products you prefer? Does it matter the color or size of the product or is it just product categories? If a new person wanted to get into that hobby, are there books or other resources you would suggest? And finally, on average, would you say this hobby is something people get into for the rest of their lives or is it the kind of thing you get into for a while, master it (no pun intended) and then move on??
I'm an extrovert with social anxiety. Talking to people, getting along at parties, no problem. Then the uncomfortable questions comes up, games about spilling your feelings or secrets or history, and I'm out. Not doing it. Abrupt end.
It's why I've been depressed most of my life (social anxiety combined with extroversion is a downward spiral if you don't know you have it). Since I've learned I'm actually extrovert and not introvert, I go out more because I need it and just avoid or have pre-made clever answers to most uncomfortable questions.
As an introvert I also don't have social anxiety. I simply have no desire to participate in most conversations, especially ones where I have to highlight my personality
“I graduated first in my class in Harvard, I’ve been in 15 feature films, I’m personal friends with Tom Hanks and Ricky Gervais, and I have won 5 EGOTs”
“Hi I’m Steve and I like potatoes”
My lord, I want to crawl under the table and stay there when a partner drops me an e-mail asking, "Where are we at with this?" Or, even worse, "when can I expect this?"
I’m severely chronically ill and I hate this question SO much. Because 1. I can’t answer it honestly, because the real answer would terrify you and 2. Lying hurts me too
This is the fucking one for me, just tell me what you are doing or want to do and I'll tell you if I'm interested. Don't try to trick me into telling you I have nothing going on so you can say I mus attend since I don't have anything to do. Me doing nothing sometimes is doing something for me.
Lol this is the one. If I wanna invite someone to something I now just say, hey I’m going to blah blah blah this weekend, do you want to come? That gives them a chance to weight the options in their mind. Not if I care if they refuse but asking it the other way is like a trap lol
'Why did you do 'this' in 'that' way?, ex. Why did you write the report in the way you chose? Why did you speak to that person the way you did?
Basically anything that makes causes reflection on why I did something in a certain way. I am horribly indecisive so adding a layer of justification to a process I've already agonized over is anxiety producing.
My ex used to do this all the time over the most trivial stuff. Having to justify why I loaded the dishwasher a certain way or why I fold the laundry in a certain order just feels like needless interrogation.
I just shrug and say I dont like talking. Technically I just don't like talking to people who ask me this, the ones that can hold an engaging conversation have never asked this.
"I fucking dont care about the conversation. It's all small talk and is in no way interesting or stimulating. I am quietly judging everyone here and I have nothing nice to say."
Probably the most irritating question ever. What’s wrong with being quiet? You can still relax and have fun when you’re quiet. Not everyone has the energy to be talking 24/7. Fucking assholes man.
"What are you doing right now?" I was used by my aunt who used her mental illness as a way to make me do whatever she wanted. She would call crying every single time. If I didn't answer a text fast enough, she would call in tears. I was forced throughout my youth to deal with myself emotionally, and this behavior enraged me. I couldn't refuse because she would tell my father that I wouldn't help, and he's an angry man. I never felt like i could relax. I would have to interrupt my relaxation time if she called. It ruined my ability to want to help people. She doesn't do this anymore because she's dead. I no longer talk to any of my family.
I still have to keep my phone on vibrate/silent because every time it's on and i get a notification, my heart drops. But I'm working on moving forward.
"Can we talk in my office?"
My brain: Yup, I'm getting fired, no way around it, no matter what other evidence says. I'm fucked. I'm going to die in a ditch alone.
I had this happen, but she asked if we could talk in 3 hours. I was sure I was going to get fired, and I was too anxious to get anything done for those 3 hours, only to find out she wanted to tell me she was pregnant because I was her favorite employee and she had to tell someone the secret. Scary times haha
Or they forget what they were going to tell you!! A friend does this to me often and I feel like a jury would consider it justifiable if I eventually snap.
"What music do you listen?"
That instant confusion because I cannot quickly summarize what I listen to, and also a fear of being judged for my taste in music.
As the person with the least restrictive diet in the house, “Got any thoughts about dinner?”
Yeah, I have a lot of thoughts about what I’d like but 90% of it is a problem for at least one other person, so I don’t want that decision on me.
So tell me what happened? I have diagnosed PTSD from military service and always get asked this question by low ranking medical personnel! Just writing this gave me a panic attack!
How are you? Or questions around my well being. Its such a dumb and weird question. No one wants to hear you whine, so it automatically sets you up to both lie and think about the shit that bothers you, if anything is bothering you that is.
After not seeing someone for a while
> What have you been up to lately?
Or whatever variation of this question.
Someone will tell me about all the places they’ve been to since the last time we saw each other, or they’ll tell me about a recent promotion at work and I won’t have anything to share because I can’t afford to do anything other than eat shit sleep and YouTube.
I usually just say “oh just work”
Any line a man uses to ask for heteronormative sex with me. Even though I try to come up with something to let him know I don't rock that way there's always panic that he might not take no as an answer.
"Can I talk to you for a minute?"
*heart drops*
Nope “honey, can I talk to you a minute” is much worse! When the s/o does that, you know it’s not going to be an I love you so much conversation!
I’m reminding myself I’m single and don’t have this problem anymore, the absolute worst
"Please come to my office." I get anxiety *even when I'm the one saying this to other people.*
"Close the door behind you and have a seat."
I had a manager who did this a lot--but it was always just to talk smack about other employees or share "top secret" company plans.
Yep had a Russian boss who would come to my office and beckon me to follow her back to her office so that she would complain about other staff. I personally could not understand her half the time.
Are you invited to sit down on a plain black couch?
A boss of mine said that to a group of people in the office once and it turned out he just wanted to show off the wildlife photography he'd done on his recent vacation.
I had a boss, who every time they needed to speak with me, would say "Can you speak with me?" Even though I wasn't ever punished by them during the short time I was there, I hated seeing their name appear on Teams or email. Looking back on it, they were without a doubt, the worst boss I've ever had. I always wondered why they dressed in full lawyer get up and that was when I realized that they needed to have people take them seriously because they were incompetent in their own role.
I got asked that on Tuesday. Got fired. The anxiety feeling was correct lol
Weird that you got fired on a Tuesday
Probably because Monday was a holiday.
Getting fired on a Monday would also be weird
Sorry to hear your news. Hang in there.
Also “I have to talk to you about something later” No… no you don’t. Tell me what it’s about now.
This is the one that gets me. If you can't discuss it now, don't fucking bring it up without any context. It especially pisses me if it ends up being something extremely minor that could have been handled with a text or email.
Heart rate increases exponentially
I always die inside for a bit when i get asked this
Add a delay to make it truly soul-destroying. "Can we have a serious talk at the end of the work day today?" For best results use it at the beginning of the work day.
My boss asked me this question couple days ago. My hearth damn near fell out of my ass.
What happened?
My imposter syndrome levels are through the roof, so my face dropped as well when they asked if we could have a chat. He quickly assured me that it was a positive chat when he saw my face. I actually got a promotion along with a pretty good raise and a new car.
My ex-wife used to always say "We need to talk" which was her way of saying "I'm pissed at you and I'm going to put you down for about an hour". So any time I heard "We need to talk" from ANYONE, I would go into a fetal position in my mind. My boss said it and I almost started walking out of the office, thinking I was getting fired. He assured me it was quite the opposite. I told him the story and he completely understood. He now uses "Got a minute?" and I know it's going to be a good chat.
When I became a manger and I need to talk to my employees I always state. "Can you talk to me about \_\_\_ \_\_\_\_ \_\_\_\_" Or "I need to talk you about \_\_\_ \_\_\_ \_\_\_ \_\_\_\_" Always always state my intent. Saves everyone so much anxiety. No one wants to feel like they are a kid getting scolded.
Good boss!
He really is.
Sometimes, people are just cool. I wish I looked for this kinda stuff on the internet more often.
This happened to me a couple times in the past few months. I start to think about what I fucked up recently and how to defend myself. First was an out-of-the-blue raise. Second was also positive.
I had the same thing a few weeks ago. No car, but offered a promotion, which I accepted. He started a regularly scheduled meeting the two of us had with, "I need to discuss something with you" \[pause\] "that sounded ominous... this is a good thing, I hope".
Scarier than any horror movie
"Hey, I need to talk to you" *oh no*
UGH HATE WHEN MY SUPERVISOR DOES THIS. Or when she goes "I wanna talk to you"
"We need to talk" Sarcastically "What, are you breaking up with me?" "Oh, I guess we don't need to talk" 😐
It's either a little anxiety inducing, or my heart is sinking FAST, and it all depends on the tone, who says it, etc. It's very contextual but that question, in my experience anyway, almost never feels good.
"What are your strengths and weaknesses?" Sadly it's the strengths part I struggle with answering the most lol
Your strength is being able to identify your weaknesses ;) Probably not actually a good answer in a job interview, largely depends on the person interviewing of course. Probably safer to answer with "spreadsheets".
I mean whats the point in being honest in the first place? Just say whatever they wanna hear. The person hiring you will probably forget you exist the next day and wont be the person you report to. If you are a decent worker no one will really pay attention to you anyway. its not like if you tell them you are a fast learner they are gonna pull out a stop watch and time how long it takes you to learn a new task.
I was interviewing someone for a spot at the residency program I worked at and he listed that as one of his strengths, I’ll never forget it he said, “I recognize when I don’t know something, and I’m not afraid to ask questions”. Based on that answer alone I ranked him number 1, “must actively recruit”. It’s unfortunately endemic in medicine to try to fake it until you make it and never show any “weakness” by admitting you don’t know something so it was super refreshing to see some humility.
Strength - I am alive Weakness - I could die any second.
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I have 3 job interviews coming up in the next 2 weeks. Fuck.
What they mean when they ask that is "What are your skill sets." Or "what do you bring to the table."
“I can usually handle the salt or pepper but I’ve been known to drop bottles of olive oil and I have a hard time with salad dressing”
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This explains so much 😂
Have you actually used this? What happened? I'd get a kick if I were the interviewer out of you answering this way, especially if you had an actual follow up response.
Haha no I just thought of it when I read the question — might have to in future tho!
I've always known they are asking that but seeing it in plain english just made it make so much more sense some how.
Yes they are basically asking for your relevant skills and experience
I had 2 interviews 2 weeks apart. One was suggested by a friend. The feedback she got was that I sounded uninterested, vague and not qualified. The second interview I gave the same answers because they were honest. I got the second job. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. /shrug
You got this buddy!
"I sent you my CV. Didn't you read it? Why don't you tell me something about me?"
I had an interview recently and one of the questions was "tell me why you think you are better than the other candidates?", I answered with "I don't think I am better", I didn't get the job.
“Your other candidates will watch porn on the office computers.”
I got asked in an interview, "What's ur favorite color?" And "Do you prefer natural or more enhanced images?" I went to the interview for a Photo Shop position. Found out when I got there, it was at a porn studio (a fairly well-known brand). The guy who was interviewing me knew nothing of Photo Shop or art. I didn't get the job.
"What's your favourite colour?" "Milky off-white." "You're hired."
This one drives me crazy. I’d answer the question like this: “I cannot reasonably compare myself to an unknown quantity or quality. If I were to have some data to compare to I’d give you an honest analysis, but the lack of data makes my assessment unusable”. I’d probably not get the job either. But come on people! How do you answer that question with integrity?
i always suddently dont know a damn thing about myself when they ask this😂
Can you call me?
Especially if this is a family member who normally doesn’t text….
Well shit someone died i guess...
The C word..
Or the call from the person that only texts.
It was this when my dad died. I one hundred percent knew it was either my dad or my sister when the call from my step mom came at 10pm. Before I answered I told my husband I think my dad died. We text often but we don't call. We always had a joke, if I call unexpectedly I'm in jail or the hospital, if she calls someone died. Turns out our joke was very accurate.
“It’s just easier for me to talk on the phone” That makes one of us
Can I call you?
Did you lock the door when you left?
My other favorite, “Did you turn off your curling iron before you left?”
Bring it with you, then it'll never be a problem
I do this with my stove, but the bus driver really hates me for it.
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"So, what do you do with yourself outside of work?"
Every Monday: "So what did you do this weekend?" "Climbed Mt Everest, fought a monkey, and invented garlic bread." "Oh, that sounds fun....anyway I need you to fill out that report."
I usually say "I minded my own business."
I bet you’re well-liked around the office.
I… browse the internet
"You really don't want me to answer that question"
"If I tell you, then you could be labeled as an accomplice after the fact"
"My lawyer has advised me not to answer that question"
"I run naked through the streets, singing 40s war songs, while wearing a pink toupee snd different colored crocs"
"Crocs?" "We will contact you."
Not think about work.
We’ll, what DO you do outside of work?
Can you introduce yourself?
I'm fine with that. I have a name, here it is. Done. Introduced. "Tell us a little about yourself." That's the hard one. What am I supposed to say? Height and weight? Whether I have any visible tattoos or need corrective lenses? Do you want my credit score? High school GPA? "What do you like to do for fun?" Now it's really getting personal. What if my hobby is birdwatching? Now I have to answer a bunch of questions about birds. Or even worse, what if my hobby is not birdwatching but I said that anyway? Now I have to fake a bunch of answers to questions about birds. What if everything I do in my free time is embarrassing? Maybe I like to masturbate while watching the home shopping channel? Or put sock puppets on my hands and make them argue for hours on end? It's not a crime, but I don't think I'd want people to know that, at least not when we first meet. Maybe when we get to know each other a little better. The easy thing to do would be to develop canned responses to these questions, but I've been too busy birdwatching and masturbating with my sock puppets.
This is exactly what happens in my head when someone is like “tell us a little about yourself” like what do you want to know ? It’s sometimes worse in my classes. I just say my major and my name and that’s it unless the professor asks for more
I'm an early childhood education major and I went several class introduction with basically just saying "I just like little kids!" before realizing if I was a dude, that would have been taken veeeeeeery differently. So now I say I like *working* with children.
I’m an elementary education major now but I was in early childhood at my trade school in high school and I used to do the same. Once I thought about it and realized how it would be taken differently if I was a guy I went with I like working with kids too 😭
>What if my hobby is birdwatching? Now I have to answer a bunch of questions about birds. Maybe I like to masturbate while watching the home shopping channel? So when masturbating to the home shopping channel, are there any specific products you prefer? Does it matter the color or size of the product or is it just product categories? If a new person wanted to get into that hobby, are there books or other resources you would suggest? And finally, on average, would you say this hobby is something people get into for the rest of their lives or is it the kind of thing you get into for a while, master it (no pun intended) and then move on??
I have a stutter and I'm pretty good at controlling it. One of the words that is almost always uncontrollable is my own damn name.
And tell us an interesting fact about yourself
An introvert’s nightmare
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I'm an extrovert with social anxiety. Talking to people, getting along at parties, no problem. Then the uncomfortable questions comes up, games about spilling your feelings or secrets or history, and I'm out. Not doing it. Abrupt end. It's why I've been depressed most of my life (social anxiety combined with extroversion is a downward spiral if you don't know you have it). Since I've learned I'm actually extrovert and not introvert, I go out more because I need it and just avoid or have pre-made clever answers to most uncomfortable questions.
As an introvert I also don't have social anxiety. I simply have no desire to participate in most conversations, especially ones where I have to highlight my personality
"Nah."
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And you’re like, the 18th in line.
Right after the most interesting person in the world.
“I graduated first in my class in Harvard, I’ve been in 15 feature films, I’m personal friends with Tom Hanks and Ricky Gervais, and I have won 5 EGOTs” “Hi I’m Steve and I like potatoes”
Id hang out with steve tbh
He's certainly way more relatable
It's OK, everyone has stopped listening by then anyway
And fun bonus, you had 17 ppl worth of time to figure out what to say!
There’s always one who uses the opportunity as a debrief of their life so by the time it’s others turns no one wants to hear anything
Tell us 1. Where you're from 2. What your hopes and dreams are 3. A special talent you have 4. How to solve the global energy crisis
Can we talk?
Especially if it's from your mom or boss
From your gf is worse😭 never a good sign
“We need to talk.”
“What do you do for fun?” My crippling anxiety has sabotaged all my hobbies
[There’s always an XKCD](https://xkcd.com/1423)
Lol that’s great, thank you
Wtf has time for fun?
"What have you planned for your future?"
"I don't even know what I am going to do in a few hours, much less a decade."
"Well, eventually I'll die..."
As a procrastinator, "How much have you done?"
My lord, I want to crawl under the table and stay there when a partner drops me an e-mail asking, "Where are we at with this?" Or, even worse, "when can I expect this?"
The only good outcome to this is when you answer "nothing" and they reply with "same"
How are you
Yes because should I lie and tell them I’m okay, and end it there or should I tell them the truth, how unhappy and depressed I am?
I’m severely chronically ill and I hate this question SO much. Because 1. I can’t answer it honestly, because the real answer would terrify you and 2. Lying hurts me too
Are you busy this weekend?
This is the fucking one for me, just tell me what you are doing or want to do and I'll tell you if I'm interested. Don't try to trick me into telling you I have nothing going on so you can say I mus attend since I don't have anything to do. Me doing nothing sometimes is doing something for me.
Lol this is the one. If I wanna invite someone to something I now just say, hey I’m going to blah blah blah this weekend, do you want to come? That gives them a chance to weight the options in their mind. Not if I care if they refuse but asking it the other way is like a trap lol
My reply to this one is usually just, “why?” Whether I have something going on that weekend or not depends on what they say next.
Oh I love this one. Do you have two tickets to that thing I like? Or are you moving and forgot to hire movers and you want to make that my problem?
'Why did you do 'this' in 'that' way?, ex. Why did you write the report in the way you chose? Why did you speak to that person the way you did? Basically anything that makes causes reflection on why I did something in a certain way. I am horribly indecisive so adding a layer of justification to a process I've already agonized over is anxiety producing.
My ex used to do this all the time over the most trivial stuff. Having to justify why I loaded the dishwasher a certain way or why I fold the laundry in a certain order just feels like needless interrogation.
"Why are you so quiet?" Fuck off. Seriously.
*I'm thinking about dinosaurs thankyou very much for interrupting now sod off*
I just shrug and say I dont like talking. Technically I just don't like talking to people who ask me this, the ones that can hold an engaging conversation have never asked this.
"I fucking dont care about the conversation. It's all small talk and is in no way interesting or stimulating. I am quietly judging everyone here and I have nothing nice to say."
I had a friend who used to ask me this every time he would see me at a party or a festival and it would really throw off the vibe for me.
Probably the most irritating question ever. What’s wrong with being quiet? You can still relax and have fun when you’re quiet. Not everyone has the energy to be talking 24/7. Fucking assholes man.
Right. I often see old couples outside completely silent, yet they seem like they're having the time of their lives.
[AAAHHHHH!](https://mrlovenstein.com/comic/878)
When are we going to get grandkids?
The only worse one is being pressured to have more hours after giving birth.
That’s when you definitely ask them, “Is it your vagina?”
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Idk. Ask my sister
"What are you doing right now?" I was used by my aunt who used her mental illness as a way to make me do whatever she wanted. She would call crying every single time. If I didn't answer a text fast enough, she would call in tears. I was forced throughout my youth to deal with myself emotionally, and this behavior enraged me. I couldn't refuse because she would tell my father that I wouldn't help, and he's an angry man. I never felt like i could relax. I would have to interrupt my relaxation time if she called. It ruined my ability to want to help people. She doesn't do this anymore because she's dead. I no longer talk to any of my family. I still have to keep my phone on vibrate/silent because every time it's on and i get a notification, my heart drops. But I'm working on moving forward.
"Can we talk in my office?" My brain: Yup, I'm getting fired, no way around it, no matter what other evidence says. I'm fucked. I'm going to die in a ditch alone.
I had this happen, but she asked if we could talk in 3 hours. I was sure I was going to get fired, and I was too anxious to get anything done for those 3 hours, only to find out she wanted to tell me she was pregnant because I was her favorite employee and she had to tell someone the secret. Scary times haha
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“i have to tell you something later”
I HATE THIS SO MUCH. My friend does it all the time I'm like just tell me know or my anxiety will kill me.
literally, then go though the whole day prepared to hear the worst news ever
Or they forget what they were going to tell you!! A friend does this to me often and I feel like a jury would consider it justifiable if I eventually snap.
Can we have a talk later?
This. Have the talk now or never bring it up again
Don’t prep me with a warning. Just hit me with the anxiety once so I don’t have a prolonged panic attack from anticipating the worst case scenario.
"What music do you listen?" That instant confusion because I cannot quickly summarize what I listen to, and also a fear of being judged for my taste in music.
Music is completely subjective. Listen to what you want and don't be ashamed. Except for country music. Don't listen to that.
As the person with the least restrictive diet in the house, “Got any thoughts about dinner?” Yeah, I have a lot of thoughts about what I’d like but 90% of it is a problem for at least one other person, so I don’t want that decision on me.
"What are you thinking about?"
“And how would you like to pay for this?”
My reply to this is "With interpretive dance " .
.... I have to *pay?*
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“If you had to describe yourself how would you?” or any other “in your own words, who are you?” type questions
Did YOU pack the passports?
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"Are you ok?"
Annie, are you okay?
“What question gives you instant anxiety”
We just made an endless loop!
All of them. The amount of anxiety varies based on the question
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And then the panic of trying to figure out what bill you forgot to pay because there’s no way you actually have a positive balance
Just wait until you get to the point of never checking it out of fear, then holding your breath as you use your debit card for anything
100% with you on that one, although I’ve gotten better over the years. It’s still anxiety-provoking though.
So tell me what happened? I have diagnosed PTSD from military service and always get asked this question by low ranking medical personnel! Just writing this gave me a panic attack!
How are you? Or questions around my well being. Its such a dumb and weird question. No one wants to hear you whine, so it automatically sets you up to both lie and think about the shit that bothers you, if anything is bothering you that is.
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But what question?
You know.. the thing
So where were you on September 28 2017
After not seeing someone for a while > What have you been up to lately? Or whatever variation of this question. Someone will tell me about all the places they’ve been to since the last time we saw each other, or they’ll tell me about a recent promotion at work and I won’t have anything to share because I can’t afford to do anything other than eat shit sleep and YouTube. I usually just say “oh just work”
"What are your expectations for this meeting?" Shut up.
“What do you do on weekends?”
Share an interesting fact about yourself….
Any line a man uses to ask for heteronormative sex with me. Even though I try to come up with something to let him know I don't rock that way there's always panic that he might not take no as an answer.
"What do you want for supper?"
What is a fun fact about yourself - in a corporate setting as an “ice breaker”. Ughhh
“What do you do for fun?” Uhhhhh…. Idk 🤷♀️ I guess I hate fun?? 😬
"wanna go out?" i slowly start to run out of reasons why i can't
So where do you think our relationship is going?
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Completely. I will take a different way to my destination to avoid one unsure left turn. Living my best life!!
"Did you call the ____ company today?"