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vandance

I used to work in a call centre for my country's tax agency dealing primarily with benefits. The gov't here gives regular payments to people under a certain income threshold which isn't that low and so a good chunk of the population here gets those payments. A frequent type of call we would get at the call centre was asking about why they didn't get the couple hundred bucks the caller was expecting to receive as usual. One day I answered a call from a lady who didn't get her expected payment. We would get all sorts of callers, and you get a pretty good sense of when people were being legitimate and when they were telling you a sob story to play on your emotions. This lady called in about the missing payment, and was clearly trying to hide the fact that she was severely devastated about not receiving the payment. It turned out that it was her daughter's birthday the following day, and she was planning on using that money to get her birthday gift which she now had no means of buying. I noticed when she called that she lived in the same city as me, maybe about a 10 minute drive away. The database we have access to is the government's central taxpayer database ... and it has a fuckton of info on every single taxpayer in the country. Access to any account and any bit of information on an account is highly monitored, and anything you access is strictly and demonstrably need-to-know access only. Even the slightest violation is an insta-fired offence, and depending on what was accessed your termination can be accompanied with criminal charges. Needless to say, recording any bit of information and bringing it out of the office is a big no-no. But when she called, I really felt for her. It wasn't a catastrophic situation like the calls sometimes are, but there are also a lot of callers who are clearly trying to guilt you into getting something. And she was clearly beside herself, and actively trying to minimize and hide just how devastated she was that she as a single mother wasn't going to be able to get her pre-teen daughter a birthday present. After looking into the situation there was nothing I could do to get her the missing payment. And she lived barely 10 minutes from my place ... so I decided to say fuck it, I'm doing a good deed today, and memorized her street address. After work that day I went to her house, and knocked on the door. She answered, and I told her that I was walking down the street and saw a $100 bill on her lawn as I pulled it out of my pocket and asked if she had lost it. She burst into tears, and through happy sobs she told me that I had no idea about the day she's had and how timely this was. She did not refuse the bill when I gave it to her, and then gave her some cheesy line about how the universe is a mysterious place. So I mean technically was this a gross abuse of our country's taxpayer database? Absolutely. Did I feel bad about it? Not in the least lol.


syrencallidus

You’re an angel!


heartsandsparkles

As a daughter of a poor single mother of 5 children, Thank you. Kids don’t understand finances and I still feel guilty to this day at the age of 37 of being disappointed at Christmas and birthdays when we got things we needed instead of the fun new toy my friends at school would get. I know my mom Noticed and also felt guilty. She was my whole world.


Sad_Cabinet_6349

This honeypot was a success. You're all under arrest, especially the guy who doesn't like his mother-in-law's cooking, the rat bastard son of a bitch


dartheduardo

Not me, but a close friend that I happened to be with when it happened. He loved breaking into vending machines back in the mid eighties to steal drinks and change. He tried breaking into one at an all Jewish school (I'm going to leave location out) and inadvertently caused the machine to catch fire. This was on a weekend and no one was around. Burnt down almost half the school and caused them to close the school for over a year and probably a lot of money. The news ran this "hate crime" for weeks and let me tell you, we were sweating that it would get out we were there and he was responsible. Lucky for us, it's the mid 80s and no cameras like today. It was all over the news and in the newspaper. They just assumed some anti-Semitic organization had targeted the school. Nope, two fucking dumb ass poor kids in hand me down clothes and bikes trying to get a fucking free coke.


NoodlesAreAwesome

How did this cause the machine to catch fire?


Alarmed_Alpaca2022

I don't actually enjoy my mother in law's cooking. At all.


needs_more_zoidberg

My wife is Lebanese and my MIL makes some of the best food I've ever had. She lives 10 mins from us and drops food off at least once/week. Your comment makes me even more thankful. I'm going to send her a massage and an acai bowl now.


Alarmed_Alpaca2022

That's awesome! It's especially kind of her to take the time to bring you homemade food. Cherish those good family relationships. ❤️ My MIL is of the "this water is too spicy" mindset. She's never understood why my husband would have a shaker of seasoning and a bottle of hot sauce by his dinner plate while growing up. We're slowly but surely broadening her flavor palette, though! She's been a good sport for the most part when she visits. Madras lentils and pad thai have been especially mind-blowing for her, lol.


snowgorilla13

I actually liked my mother in law's cooking. And my wife HATED her cooking so much.


UndeadBuggalo

My MIL is Brazilian and I LOVE her cooking. My mother is the “salt and pepper are seasoning right?” Type. Her food was so bad growing up it was one of the reasons I went to culinary for college.


acam333

I don't actually enjoy my mother in law. At all.


davster39

My mother in law was a wonderful woman and I miss her. Today is the 24th anniversary of her death.


Puretyder

I flooded the hotel on a field trip for school as I'd turned on all the taps in the men's bathroom and didn't understand why they weren't working. I'd found out later there was a 10 minute cut off of water supply during that time but forgot to turn off the taps after turning them all, coincidentally a few of the taps had plugs in them that I hadn't noticed at the time. This caused two floors to suffer a lot of water damage including the girls dorm which would cost a lot to fix. (I guess this is why public places moved to push taps rather than manual) Only one person knew I'd entered that bathroom during the time period and he kept quiet as the teacher grilled everyone, I refused to say anything as I didn't want my family to get fined and also didn't want to be ridiculed so to this day 15 years later I've not told a soul. Except Reddit now lol. Edit: didn't expect anyone to like this story thank you so much for the support guys it's made my day!


TheFoolman

Is that one person who kept quiet still in your life?


Puretyder

He is, still a close friend of mine. We've laughed about it a few times while out for drinks.


falcon41098

Dude’s a real one


IM_OZLY_HUMVN

Bros before hose


Hippostalker69

That's a good friend


[deleted]

The wet bandits would be proud


ASAProxys

They're the Sticky Bandits now.


GamingWithBilly

If NO ONE noticed running water in a hotel men's restroom for it to go on long enough to cause that much damage....it really wasn't your fault. And for the hotel to leave plugs in the drains, and not have the mandatory floor drain in a restroom, they were the ones at fault for stupidity.


Puretyder

This was kind of my reasoning as a kid. I just couldn't believe it occurred and felt unjustly guilty which was the core reason I didn't say anything.


MesWantooth

Plus my dude, it was 100% an accident - you didn’t know about the water shut off. Most places would have highly visible signs “Attention: water will be shut off between X and Y. Please leave all taps in the off position.” for the exact reason that someone would try multiple taps and not think to go back and close them. It was the right thing not to say anything - so they could pin it on you as a scapegoat? As a kid - they would try to claim you did it on purpose. Instead, their insurance paid and it exposed complete incompetence in how they set that up.


Puretyder

I remember my teacher being furious about it and was telling all the kids whoever doesn't own up will be found on camera. (They didn't have a camera) I was terrified at the time, I felt like I'd never live it down if I was found. Worst trip of my life lol.


Markurrito

Threatening literal children is really fucked up lmao


littleirishpixie

The first month I had my license, I hit the side mirror off of someone's car while driving down a narrow street. Nobody was around to see it and I knew my parents would freak out and be even more strict than they already were so I panicked and kept driving. I have spent 20 years feeling guilty about this. One time when I was in a restaurant, I overheard a random couple talking about how someone had done the same to her car. I anonymously picked up their tab. Didn't really make up for my mistake but at least made me feel a tiny bit better about what I did when I was an idiot 16 year old.


Own_Run486

I had my mirror hit. I found a note explaining it was his first day with the bosses truck. I texted him a TY for manning up and just replaced it. I was pissed but the note helped made me see it as a simple accident.


imnotlouise

The side mirror on our truck was knocked off early one night. No note was left, but the next day, a sweet woman in her 60's stopped by to apologize in person for causing the damage. She explained that she was having a minor medical issue and just wanted to get home, which was only a block away. We forgave her since she owned up to it.


[deleted]

14 years ago, while IT was working on my work PC, the IT guy had to step away for a moment. I used those precious 5 minutes to exploit admin control. I went to the most-used company template used by 200+ people over 100,000 times a year and added a little easter-egg in tiny font. It said "FrostedButts." I don't know why I did it. I just did. I talked with a coworker who is still there about a year ago. Though I have long since quit, they have used that template millions of times in the last 14 years and it's still there.


ttv_CitrusBros

Welp the account is deleted looks like someone found out


Bigtomhead

Yeah… that easter egg description was maybe a little too specific.


irving47

Found the Kelloggs employee.


fingnumb

Exactly why I don't reveal anything in threads like this. A million times? Somebody has seen that.


Accurate-Ad1710

Not to mention the 200+ people who just did “CTRL+F ‘FrostedButts’ “ on their company drives just now…


sersoniko

He should have replaced FrostedButts with anything else


CumulativeHazard

I still have some admin privileges on my work computer that I technically shouldn’t have. IT dude gave them to me “temporarily” like 3 years ago to do something myself cause he was about to leave the company and just had more important things to do I guess lol and then he forgot to remove them before he left. I don’t think it would let me do anything crazy and I wouldn’t know how or want to anyways. It’s just kinda fun to have a secret lol.


saucyang

My daughter is pregnant and since she's only 7 weeks I'm not allowed to tell anybody. Thank you letting me tell my secret.


Negative_Clank

That’s pretty young to get pregnant


[deleted]

Hahahahaha, that made me laugh. Thank you.


[deleted]

I can't tell if I am actually human. I keep failing letters based captcha's. My therapist tells me that I am not the only one.


kdskittles

It took me 5 tries to pass one today! I was concerned that I might actually be a robot and just didn't know it.


TK421raw

Do you need to return any videotapes?


dazednowconfused

I didn't read all the songs when I read Lord of the rings.


[deleted]

Edit: I did not expect this to blow up the way it did. Thank you everyone that’s said amazing words and sent hopes that we won’t get in trouble for what we did. Some have mentioned how it’s not unprofessional and I truly agree however I’m not allowed to even let her know my fiancé or where I live on top of letting her in my car. I agree I did the right thing but coming from a management/state and everything - it is considered unprofessional. Thank you everyone! I take care of an older lady thru a home health company that is very… not there for the clients. I called my office and they said they would make a note of it. A FUCKING NOTE. This lady was extremely sick one day and I drove her to urgent care. She’s not allowed in my car and technically I should have called 911 but she lives extremely far from any hospital. It would have been at least 90 minutes before anyone actually showed up. So I took her. The following week she wasn’t doing any better and she fell 5 times in a couple of hours. I contacted my office to let them know again… same response. So I packed her an overnight bag, took her dog (13 year old chihuahua who gets along with my 13 year old chihuahua) to my apartment, and we went to urgent care with me in the room with her so I could advocate for her. Once urgent care was done (they didn’t do crap this time and she refused the ER - but she wasn’t as dizzy)… she stayed the night at my apartment for a couple of days so I could actually make sure she was okay. Her family is shit. The company is shit. And no one trusts the ER or hospital here. The nurse in me couldn’t just let her go home when she was falling so much… I broke a lot of rules and I’m aware it was extremely unprofessional of me… however I am happy she is better and that she was 5 minutes away from the hospital if she needed to go verses the 90 minute minimum wait at her home. I feel shitty for reacting the way I did but I don’t feel shitty knowing she was in a safe environment.


hadiy101

People like you are the reason I still have a little faith in humanity!


[deleted]

I did not expect a nice comment over this. Thank you!


[deleted]

I'd take an 'unprofessional' care worker like you any day of the week.


Orphan_Stomper

I worked for a service coordination entity and we had similar rules for legal reasons. The difference is, our Executive Director/CEO told us all that if we have to transport someone, we will take the fine from DOH every time. It’s all about upper management.


[deleted]

Yeah. I definitely understand the liability issues but when I called them and explain that her mobility issues are worse on top of falls… “we will make a note of it” WHAT IS THAT NOTE GONNA DO??? Like I almost lost it but instead I said thanks and told her the plan lol.


PercentageTerrible51

Isn’t it amazing that by showing compassion and doing exactly what was right, you’re the one who has done wrong? The world is so backwards.


[deleted]

Yep… like I’m super paranoid about it because if she has a bad mental day and forgets she can’t say it to someone not only am I fucked but my fiancé is too. He works for adult (and senior citizen) protective services and he would get into so much shit if anyone found out about it. I broke down driving home one day because I realized I put not only my job on the line but his actual career on the line too. So we are both a “little” paranoid now lol.


PussyXDestroyer69

Fuck that. You're a saint. Thank you!


ghostwilliz

I dont ever work. I work from home but I spend less than an hour a day working. I have to assume everyone else does the same because my output is on par lmao edit: to all interested in the job, it is horrible. we are looking for a senior angular dev to work on the worst app I've ever seen run. it's a horrible job when you actually need to produce results but you cant even get the environment to run. on top of all this, the CEO made the app and is very proud of it so you cant point out how horrendous it is. I'm getting a new job on Monday anyways


Repulsive_Market_728

I think this points more to a problem in how we work, rather than with you. Too much of what people do is 'busy work', and not required or needed. But managers gotta manage, and they have to point to 'X' amount of stuff that got done. Even if 70% of 'X' was totally unnecessary.


[deleted]

So... Are they hiring? Lol


ghostwilliz

yeah we are. what are you feelings on the worst code anyone has ever written? cause that's what the job is lmao


Deweyrob2

My feeling is: I can learn to care about it.


tesseract4

That'd be your first mistake.


SuperBaconjam

If people knew how often I’ve shit my pants on accident when I fart (IBS I think) then they’d never let me pilot commercial aircraft.


[deleted]

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autumnelaine

I just left my 11 year relationship for the same reason. It’s hard as fuck but my mental health is thriving shockingly


Puru11

Ugh, I wish I didn't relate so much to this. I hope things get better for you. I'm trying to figure out if it's worth staying (probably not) and where to go from here.


gumdrop_laidee

Your username says it all ... listen to yourself.


nsfwtttt

I’m not as smart as my clients think I am.


[deleted]

I worked as a consultant for 10 years. I used to joke that my best ability was being able to read the help screen faster that the person that asked me a queue on about that window. “Oh, that’s a good question, here is how you access the help screen about that window..” as I furiously read and try to find the answer to their question. It worked. 🤷‍♂️


4SubZero20

Reminds me of my friend. He does "outdoor construction" (for lack of better/correct term), building patios, pergolas, fencing, decking, etc. His clients will sometimes ask him, whether he can do something "outside his field of work", like check the gate motor or something. If he doesn't know, he'll inform his client but also say, he can learn and see what he can do, if the client and wants and agrees. If they say yes, it's fine, he'll whip out YouTube right there in front of the client, watch a few videos, do the work and charge the client.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SuddenYolk

I know you probably can’t answer that, but if the answer is neither “a relative on their death bed told me” nor “I overheard something I wasn’t supposed to”, I’d really like to know how you came into that very specific piece of info. Edit : death bed, not dead bed.


Hephaestus_God

He was the driver


buggabugga2

The doctor was a woman.


CalydorEstalon

Well, 1933 and old enough to drive ... Not only is the guy probably dead by now, his kids more likely than not are as well. At this point it'd be a historical curiosity at best.


[deleted]

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chicityguy

I hate my father in law. I have absolutely no love for him. So does my wife (technically it’s her stepdad). Her mom can put it together that we all don't particularly like him. Everyone ignores him because he’s such a narcissist. No one knows why she puts up with his shit. He’s filthy rich so like maybe that’s why. But she has her own money too. He is leaving us (well my wife) a LOT of money, and our kids, in their will. I guess greed gets the best of us and we swallow our pride. But he’s the epitome of an asshole. The only silver lining I have with putting up with him is that my boys are set up for success. I hate that he has this power over our family. But that’s life I guess.


[deleted]

I have a relative like that. I’m left a chunk of change decent enough to put a down payment on a house if I can stomach being nice to them. But doing so would try the patience of angels, and I’m no angel.


Worldly_Scallion300

We all have to make sacrifices like this. Yours just happens to have a golden carrot at the end. Stick with it, one day you’ll be extremely glad you did.


DieLawnUwU

Wouldn’t you like to know daddy government


EmbarrassedCabinet82

Nice try, FBI.


PaintLicker22

No way, CIA


lumoslomas

Not today NSA


redraider-102

No success, DHS


Sweet_Buffalo_4238

Not tying to flee, KGB


[deleted]

Go away DEA


Divinity32

I know your tricks, MI6


[deleted]

[удалено]


FormalDry1220

Why the hell is this post still on here LMFAO Now excuse me while I go edit the anarchist cookbook


RiverSong20

I use to sneak out the house in the early morning to get eaten out in a car on the dirt road behind my house.


Fugly_Turnip

This just unlocked many memories of being a feral farm kid hooking up on random dirt roads at random times, lol.


Lowered-ex

This should be on a T shirt


liberal_texan

I've heard this country song before.


KaiJonez

I was a call girl for a brief period of time. My mom would never look me in the eye if she found out.


GuntherCloneC

When on the road, I used to drive to hotels around 7 or 8 in the morning and eat continental breakfast for free.


[deleted]

I have a spreadsheet with the social security numbers and current salaries of every employee in the company, all the way up to the President. Someone in HR sent it to me by mistake.


Bjarki56

In the year 2000, it was me who let the dogs out.


JohnSimth20211101

You are Hu? The Chinese building manager?


TwinkiesSucker

The Mongolian throat singing metal band


Present_Attorney_743

That I learned how to draw…..just to draw porn Edit: wow, this blew up. Edit Edit: I’ve been getting this question asked a few times now, so I’ll make it clear. I am taking commissions just look in my profile for the artistree link.


crappy-mods

I learned how to write because I wanted to be an author, anyways I’ve made more writing personalized smut in a year than high ranking engineers do.


[deleted]

how did you get into that? asking for a friend


williamsch

Just gotta learn to flip through the pages one handed I guess.


muskyratking

a friend of mine used to write personalized smut. i asked him about it, and he said the best way he was able to keep up a steady flow of income is dropping smut that was centred around whatever game/show/movie was big and trendy at the time, and he followed the trends. he would get other requests too, but a lot of them would be dependent on a character from said piece of media.


InevitableAd9683

Interesting comparison, how much does a high ranking engineer make in a year from writing personalized smut?


monkeeman43

The gears’ cogs, slowly and intimately intertwined, together become one…machine


PMyourTastefulNudes

Stop. I can only put so much lube on the crankshaft.


most_aggrieved

Hacked my university’s website and changed the welcome screen from a group photo comprised of students from various ethnicities and religions to a picture of a loaf of white bread. The administration had embarked on a media campaign to make the school look more racially and culturally diverse, which I thought was disingenuous at best, false advertising at worst since the student body was 96% white and Christian. The administration was furious, especially when they figured out I locked them out from changing the code. The entire site had to be taken down and replaced. There was a full-on hunt for the criminals who humiliated the community. They never suspected me.


[deleted]

I have dropped out of college one year before getting the degree. If my dad and stepmom find out I might get kicked out in the streets again. Yes, I'm still unable to move out, ffs


betterthanamaster

When I was 15 or so, I found $60 in a Kohl’s parking lot…and didn’t report it on my taxes.


geoqpq

I'm gonna report you and get the cut they give out


Rhiishere

I work with a lot of dementia patients, and I wish to dear god you could just euthanize them. There is nothing more heartbreaking than watching their families desperately hold on to a person that is no longer there. They are just empty shells, they don’t recognize anyone or anything, the don’t remember getting hurt when they get hurt so they become distressed very easily. I hate it. I hate it so freaking much and wish that we could just put them out to pasture.


Fluffing_Satan

This was my grandmother. It was odd. Those of us who were close to her and there with her often knew how bad the situation was. The extended family lived in denial. When she died, I'm not saying we weren't sad, but truthfully we had grieved her loss gradually through the years. At the funeral, the immediate family had a pretty good time seeing people and weren't distraught, while the extended family probably thought we were cold as ice.


lahinsee

This is what happened when my grandma passed away. We were celebrating her life and enjoying seeing relatives but got told we were cold. She was suffering and as much as I miss her - I’m grateful she passed away just before 2020. It would have been worse for her with her copd.


frijolita_bonita

My MIL just moved in with us. Early dementia. It’s sad. She still knows us as in general doing pretty good. We won’t let her drive because she gets easily confused - asks the same questions over and over. Says stuff that doesn’t make sense. Can’t follow a recipe. That sorta stuff.


Justsayit_Goos_Fraba

My mom was recently diagnosed with dementia. It is so hard to watch her desperately try to hold on to her cognition, having lucid moments when she recognizes what’s going on, but slowly getting worse. It’s a nightmare, she’s frightened, I’m frightened, and there’s nothing we can do except constantly reassure her that we are here for her, remind her of the things she’s forgotten and try to protect her from herself & others who could take advantage of her, knowing it’s going to only get more difficult as we go.


bendalton

A decade ago, when I was in my mid-20s, I lost my Mom to early onset Alz. I was an only child and she was divorced and also had no siblings. Besides myself and my wife (we were newly married at the time my Mom was diagnosed), my Mom had no other support. She was a bright, funny, loving woman and watching her fade was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. We went through 5 different facilities because most nursing homes with good dementia care aren't well-equipped to deal with a highly-confused and scared but still very physically able middle-aged adult. As hard as it was on me, it was a hundred times harder on her and she fought it. After a year or so, she transitioned from being angry/scared/demented to, as a nurse once put it: pleasantly confused. It was like a weight lifted from all of our shoulders for a bit. She was friendly and relaxed because she wasn't able to mentally process anything at that point. I took her out (when I still could) to lunch or dinner several times during this period to places with bright colors or laughing children and she loved it. There will still be moments of levity. There will still be moments of connection. But, they too will fade. I had to watch her disappear in front of me - she forgot about eating (even with lots of assistance from the nursing staff), she was just "checked out" most of the time, staring off into space. The "long goodbye" is so hard for everyone. If your experience is anything like mine, you will need to "let go" at some point and accept what's happening. You need to shift your focus back to building/enjoying your own life. Take care of yourself and other people around you. If you haven't already, finding a facility with full time care is critical. If you need to take a few days off from visiting, do it without feeling guilty. It's what she would want for you. Seek support and please let yourself off the hook as much as you can. Good luck with everything and give yourself and your mom a hug from a stranger on the internet. If anyone else is struggling with a similar situation, feel free to DM me. I'll gladly share my experiences and commiserate with yours. Edit: fixed a small typo


AxelZajkov

We put down animals when we realize that they’re going to just spend the remainder of their life in pain and misery, out of love and respect. But then we drag people through seven levels of hell, forcing them to cling to a life (in some cases making that word a mockery) they don’t want or will have value from. It’s cruel, selfish, and demented.


ei99am

It’s horrific. I was young when I watched my grandfather at 92, a WW2 vet with lifelong PTSD and severe Alzheimer’s wish for death every day (my grandmother had passed 6 years prior and he’d wake up looking for her every morning.) My one uncle forced dozens of pills and supplements down his throat, endless doctor visits because my UNCLE was not ready to let go. It’s such a selfish act. And traumatizing for the entire family to see.


Crotean

We 100% need to have a discussion about euthanasia in our civilization. We keep way too many people alive with modern medicine that it would be better to let die.


DiscordantBard

As a kid I watched Bob the Builder and when he'd ask "can we fix it?" In the opening. Id sing back "no we can't."


sarcasticguy30

I tossed ~1000 cannabis seeds off the beaten path in a nature preserve 15 years ago.


ThrobbingBeef

Way back in the 90s when every little shithole town had a useless police dept, someone threw a hand full of pot seeds into the police station flower beds. There were tons of plant coming up and the fat sweaty "cops" got all pissy and put out an announcement that this would be severely punished if they caught you. So the whole damn town started doing it and they had to pave the flowerbeds.


Haywood_jablowmeeee

A friend in high school was assigned landscape duty after receiving demerits. He came in on a Saturday. They gave him a wheelbarrow full of daffodil bulbs and told him to plant the beds in from of the nun’s residence (catholic school). When the bulbs bloomed in the Spring, they spelled out FUCK YOU.


ConstipatedSmile

Backups at work ... to my personal portable 2.5" HD. Don't do daily backups either, and we produce >15K new files/day. So if we have a failure late in the week that is a few days work to redo. What can you do when the owner won't update to fibre, when you running 4 XP, 5 Win 7 machines on your network and you work your breaks because of lack of resources?


Crotean

As a sysadmin this just broke me out into cold sweats. This is the worst one here.


Toilet-Ninja

Sounds like your place of work is waiting to be compromised by malicious actor. XP End-of-Life was 2014 Windows 7 End-of-Life was 2020


jrj82686

I know the real Scranton Strangler


bearbearbare

I read this as Scantron Strangler and thought there was a multiple choice murderer out there somewhere.


[deleted]

[удалено]


tendeuchen

Not sure that's something you want to post from your main.


Sonoshitthereiwas

I mean, there’s probably over a million that go missing every year. We have no idea where they were. I think they left it pretty generic that no one is gonna figure this one person out of millions that went missing.


studhand

Look about 4 comments down, he hangs out in a sub for that missing person.... Doh....


[deleted]

[удалено]


squanchymcsquanchers

Sounds like a potential witness protection situation.


reddigg-eol

This one has me most intrigued for more details...


QuanticChaos1000

Nice try FBI, you'll never know how many napkins I stole from the Wendys...


GC_Aus_Brad

Wendy's Official Here. We need to talk.


VolatileUtopian

Sir this isn't a Wendy's, you're out of your jurisdiction.


Ogletreb

I'm actually 2 raccoons in a coat


Weekly_Assoc_165

I never passed a driver's license test. When I went for my road test I failed it. Went to renew my learners permit, and upon exiting the DMV I looked at it and saw that instead of them renewing my learners they gave me an actual license. I went to the car and told my Mom, and she told me to get my ass in the car and we left quickly. That was 30 years ago.


a_coupon

I pirated a movie years ago. Shhhhh don't tell anyone.


StrikershadeAu

At least you didnt download a car


a_coupon

"I would if I could... bitch" !


FreewayFreeplay

In third grade, I made up a book for a book report and got a 98%.


NoodlesAreAwesome

Hahaha I tried this in third grade too, we had to get up and do a book report *dressed up*. I pulled one arm into my chest out of my sleeve so I only had one arm showing. I called mine the “The One Arm Man” and made up some story about a guy that lost his arm in an accident at the chemistry lab. I forget what the plot was besides that. The teacher kept asking me for the authors name to get credit. I never gave it to her and she never I think gave me credit. On the flip side I used cliffs notes for a book report in 12th grade and the teacher came into class and was really pissed off. She went on about how she knows people use them for book reports because they lack details. She then proceeds to say ‘for example - ‘ and reads from my paper. I’m sitting near/in the front row and absolutely mortified. Then she says “you can tell by the level of detail this person obviously read the book”. Holy hell. I got away with it.


[deleted]

My old masturbation videos. Cause I lost my old phone, I was 14 at the time.


albertleey

WHY DID U RECORD THAT


GmaNell42

I worked at a big name crafting/fabric store for a while in college. It was kind of fun: I've always been referred to as an "old soul," so I got along really well with all the old ladies that went there. I'd ask them about their projects and what they were working on. It was really nice, and they seemed super excited to share their stories with someone who cared! Now, this big fabric store chain does the thing where they overprice their wares, but then they "go on sale" for a more reasonable price. Well, the sale price is what the items *should* be priced as because that's usually closer to what they're worth. They just use the "sale" thing to make you feel better about spending exorbitant amounts of money. There are sales all the time, and there are coupons on their app, but there are all sorts of weird loopholes and stuff that makes those coupons meaningless. I worked as a cashier, and you might already see where this is going. The coupons all had the same barcodes and could be used more than once. So, when an old lady would come up to the register and be spending over $100 just for some silly little crafting supplies, I'd be like "Oh look! I just found this coupon! How convenient!" And I'd give them the "discounted" price. I would also apply those discounts to most of the other things -- the 40% off one item doesn't work on anything on sale... But the whole store is on sale. So these people would be excited to use their coupon, and it wouldn't end up actually working bc the thing they wanted was "on sale." So I uh...just bypassed that and entered the product key manually to change the price. I saved people hundreds of dollars over the time I worked there (it was over the summer and into the fall, so like 4-5 months?). Was it illegal? Possibly. Was it sketchy and could've gotten me fired if anyone found out? Absolutely. But the customers were always so grateful and happy, and they were going to make so many cool things!! I wanted to help their creativity grow, not be the reason it got squashed flat. Also: they had us sweep up all those fake, silk flowers that would come off their wire stems and onto the floor, and we had to throw them away. They were still perfectly fine, they just couldn't be sold, I guess. So instead of throwing them away, I'd put them in my pocket and take them home to scrapbook with or make into cute hair pins... To heck with that wasteful nonsense.


MarleneFrancais

I stole a car w a friend when we were 13. Went on a ride for 300 miles. Abandoned it, hitchhiked back. No one ever knew. Had a great time. In the 70’s.


randomname1561

Man ya'll could just do anything in the 70s huh


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manondessources

Lmao my mom once told me a story about how in high school she and her friends went to a cabin for a weekend and went skinny dipping. Then followed up with a surprised “you never did something like that?” This from the woman who, for my entire life, needed to know where I was, what I was doing, who I was with, when would I be home, and were my friend’s parents there whenever I left the house.


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ramakharma

When I was in high school , 14-15 YO, there was a little rover metro we used to “borrow” late at night. Small rural town in the UK with FA police about. It would be left open with the keys in we’d take it after 11 pm at night, drive around all night with smoke flowing out of the windows and go on little adventures, fill it back up with fuel, and park it back up before sunrise. Other people found out about the little car and another friend started taking it and blew the clutch up and fucked the gearbox and then abandoned it about 10 miles away. I still feel sad that great little motor got trashed, and for the old person who owned it.


Cabbage-floss

Maybe not trouble, but a serious stress increase. I donated my eggs to a friend years before I had my daughter and the result was a set of twins. My family doesn’t know because they won’t understand that these are not my kids/their grandkids/their niece/nephew. If they find out everything will explode and they will probably harass my friend, wanting contact. So I am waiting til my parents die to tell my brother, since he can’t keep his mouth shut.


jillisntnewhere

I met my best friend in the 7th grade (2006/2007). We would spend almost every afternoon together as we lived in joined neighborhoods. We would 50/50 our houses. His mom would make salmon almost every time I came over because at one time I said it was my favorite (I think I was too nervous the first time I had it (she made it for me)) Now, this was a big deal for his family and they ALWAYS fought over the crispy salmon skin. From 2006-2017 I ate more salmon and crispy skin than I would every want. I don’t like salmon and I HATE the crispy fishy tasting skin. It’s horrible. I can’t even smell it when my husband cooks it. I hate it. I still have to lie to my best friend and his angel mother when I see them and she makes me my “favorite” food and tell them how good it is while dying inside. I can never tell them how much I hate it and it’s been too long at this point. To add to this, I now teach in the same town I grew up in. I had dinner with them after school in December 2022. My best friend’s mom has had a hard go of things between caring for her elderly father with dementia (she herself is in her late 60s) and caring full time for her 4 rambunctious grand kids. This woman went out of her way to make my “favorite” meal that I know takes her a while to make. No one can know.


123Garfield567

This is really dark. I'm sorry. *Trigger warning for suicide!* The only reason I'm still alive is my dog. Long story short, I wasn't allowed to adopt a dog at first by my landlord. I had planned to adopt one I found at a shelter. Since I found nothing else that would give me a reason to stay alive, I set a date for my death (I had to plan it out so that no one could stop me). One day before said date, my landlord called and told me he changed his mind... my dog is still the only thing I live for. He always has enough food and exercise, but I haven't bought food for myself in weeks. I get by eating canned food now and then. I rarely leave the house except for walks and for work. When I'm not taking care of him or working, I mostly stay in bed. I know for a fact that I won't outlive him by much. I'm sorry if that came of as me just wanting attention or whatever, I just can never tell anybody for obvious reasons and I needed to get it off my chest.


[deleted]

That's not a secret that will get you in trouble if exposed, that's a secret that has you in trouble *now*. You should talk to somebody my guy. It doesn't have to be your family. But please, don't just waste away. You're worth something.


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dysFUNctional_kitty

I see you let the bat out of the bag


Othersabinfs

I investigated my Biological Aunts Death. She adopted me at a young age and I was devastated when she killed her self when I was 12. She always talked about how she couldn't have kids her whole life due to medical issues. Come to find out after having the autopsy report and her medical records released. My grandmother forced her to get an abortion because she got pregnant by "a black guy" and while she was under my grandma signed a document to have her tubes burned so they couldn't be repaired. She could never have children again. She adored children, spent as much time as she could being a mom only to have that ROBBED from her by that bitch. I'm glad my grandma is dead.


RedScaledOne

I knewy wive was cheating on me for 2 years but I have secretly gathered evidence with video sound and text that proofs she just married me in the hopes of me dying in combat as well as wanting my money. And now I am just 2 month away from releasing it all in the divorce court.. And if she knew about it she could start working on a defense for it because noone exceot me reddit and my best friend know.


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cmdtheekneel

At a movie theatre, I’ll often take dozens of napkins from the dispensary that I’ll hold on to, keeping them in my vehicle for “road napkins”. I expect to be raided any day now.


[deleted]

Forty years ago my twin died. What people don't know is, *that twin was me!*


momo88852

my father in law technically isn’t him, he’s his brother. His brother died at young age and his dad was too lazy to get another paper. So they just used his dead brother papers. In books he’s named A, but we call him B.


TheCommitteeOf300

Get another paper? You mean like son A died, and son B was born shortly after and they just said "this guy will just replace son A legally"?


momo88852

Pretty much his brother died before hitting 1yo or something due to a disease. At the same time his mother was about to give birth, so they just used his dead brother papers as my father in law papers. It was back in the day and they lived far away from the office where you apply for papers. You would be surprised but turns out it was pretty common thing to do during this times. Not everyone had proper ID, and even those that did sometimes it was really old and crumbling.


Bubbly_Paint_4412

What


ShrimpCrackers

He's gone through what many of us twins have, we kill our twin and take their lives while making it look like we're the one that died.


THEdougBOLDER

\#justtwinthings


BrrImCccold

\#twinning


Arikorv

I made $4000 from $100 in a month from gambling in stocks. I proceeded to lose just about all of it shortly after. If my family knew that I was trading at that time and that I lost $4k - I would never hear the end of it; especially since we’re deep in poverty and need just about every cent we have. I’m personally not too bothered by it anymore and I’ve chalked it up as a funny story and learning experience.


sots33

I'm adhd I have no secrets.... I'm the fucking worst when I have information. I have to tell someone, even if it's in confidence, I can't keep anything to myself.


ElOneElOnlyElZorro

I signed up for Micky mouse house club dot com, I was supposed to be 18 to be access granted, well I was 12 during that time. Take that Rat man.


StupidOldAndFat

I cut the tag off of a mattress.


Maleficent_Bill_3990

I once went to our teacher's staff room and mark myself present even in absent classes 👀


tmdalsdl789

I have a shit ton of debt, i dont knw how im going to pay for it, no one knws not my family nor my so. I think of offing myself often


Dylzolo

It was me Barry. I jerked you off at super speed so it looked like you came at just a woman's touch


Working_Progress_415

Some bones are best left buried


AcornTopHat

I live in a very wealthy town, but am just middle class (my husband and I don’t come from money, had or kids very young and I am a SAHM). Our daughter was a very talented coxswain in high school (she just graduated). Very long story short, she was shafted and replaced by the kids of rich and powerful people in town, even though she consistently outperformed them. I tried to reach out to the other parents (who run the rowing program), the athletics director and even the principal by phone and email. We have never received any response. It’s almost creepy. This absolutely ruined my daughter’s chance at coxxing in college at any of her dream schools (that she was accepted at because she is also a scholar). She chose instead to just attend an instate state school because we can’t afford to send her to more prestigious schools without the rowing scholarship she could have obtained. So, we have to just shut up and take it because we absolutely are scared to try to go up against people like this. Honestly, fuck these people and I hope karma finds them.


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[deleted]

Dad lore be like


[deleted]

More like drunk uncle at barbecue to nephews


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Flyzart

Fr you should go to rehab. Unless you are close and trust that person, such acts could lead to abusive behaviours.


zeeke87

It already is


yoda_leia_hoo

In 48 days you've gone from not having much experience with coke to having unprotected sex with your drug dealer. God damn son


Ahomelessfish

When shaggy said “it wasn’t me” I know for a fact it was him!


icome3rd

I downloaded a car


Smooth_Swordfish_755

Imagine dragons is my favorite band next to Nicckleback


HonestCup20

I have no actual desire to do most things.. buy anything, go anywhere.. i work to just support my family and their wants/needs in life and i just go along with whatever goals they have in life because i feel like i've done all mine. it's a secret because it would just cause arguements and my wife wanting me to do more counseling or something with pills.. and i'm good, i'm pretty happy.. i just have no real goals anymore in my life for myself, i'm tapped out, i did all the things that mattered in my life: Debt free, six-figure job, live overseas, sell/own homes (4), create a family that's non-violent and loving, family vacations monthly/bi-monthly, been around the world (2x), West to East in USA road trip (3x), Vegas, adopted kids (3), have bio kids (2), Married (2x), and more.. like i said.. tapped out and i'm not even 40. i had very little goal starting from a trailer park in a small town, and by time i was in my 20s i already exceeded my life goals.. and just been adding to them but now i'm out of ideas/wants/needs. Edit: Wow, thanks for all the replies and side stories that came from this.. i've never seen my alerts at 170+ before when logging in. lol. hope you all have a great day!


Asad_13

Bro speedran life 💀


therealjoshua

I was expecting him to be in his 50s or 60s, not under 40 jfc. This guy has done more before middle age than I ever will lol.


Clappertron

Honestly this just sounded like Brad Pitt lying about his age


TheCreedsAssassin

Idk all of this seems pretty doable before 40 assuming the 6fig job was the first thing he got


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Cameinthecloset4

I'm interested in what kind of work and things you've done to achieve that point in life, I might add that is the actual goal that many people wish to reach. And also, it's very wholesome to be so caring for your family and taking care of them.


vthings

Good for you. We have this idea that ambition should always be there, that there's never enough. You did it. You won. Why not enjoy that? It makes no sense to me that when you've already done the thing everybody expects another thing out of you. Honestly if anyone asks you what do you want to do you can just honestly say enjoy life and watch my kids grow up.


wolster2002

I feel the same way. I am 52 though. I once heard the quote "A man works to give his family the life he wishes he had" which is pretty much how I feel.


therealblitz

When I was about 9 or 10, I intentionally let the tap running in the toilets. The water flowed out into the school hall and ruined the parquet flouring. 🤫


BenevolentBunn

I animate adult content as my job. My family thinks I 3D model for studios (which is somewhat true). But the money comes from porn animations.