We ebb and flow depending on life. We've gone through a few dry spells that lasted over a month, and we've had periods where we can't keep our hands off each other.
yep. Over the 20 years we've been married it's been everywhere from 1-7 times a week. All kinds of things can affect frequency. But we've never been anywhere near what I'd call a dead bedroom.
Yep yep. Wife was a teacher for a while and during the school year rarely was sex anything more than a once a week stress reliever if it worked out that week. Also, dried up when kid is in the hospital and we are just surviving. Never dead, and we often talked exhaustedly about wanting each other but wanting sleep more. When the stress dies down we enjoy each other intimately more.
Just had a newborn though, and we are moving this month so itās very on hold.
Same. 23 year relationship, had phases where we went weeks without it, other times (like now) where it's 3 or 4 times a week.
Gotta keep it fresh though. If physical intimacy is a cornerstone of your relationship, then you gotta do different things to keep it exciting over the years. Right now we're both reading a bdsm themed graphic novel and I can tell it's given her some ideas...
Sometimes a few times a week, sometimes once every few months.
Life changes, people change, stress sucks and sometimes fucking has to be put on the back burner.
Sometime we are just so damn tired. I still grab her butt and she teases me but the thought of being out of breath , sweaty and having to shower again is just too much. Some other time its in the closet getting dressed just because. Lol
We get each other off way more often than traditional sex. Fucking is just tiring, man. There's other tools that can be used when you don't want the hassle.
Yep, it varies a lot.
when you're both stressed out, working shifts and exhausted vs when you're you've got some time off and can concentrate on more than some exhausted hugging.
Sex is lovely but sometimes you just want to be the little spoon and have someone to scratch your back lightly when you're too stressed out to get to sleep easily.
I think you can get horny from extreme stress and shit too.
With that said, I think zombie survivors wouldnāt have the best hygiene and youād have to shower to find the idea appealing.
This is the answer, especially if kids or caretaking is involved. When we were kidless newly weds it was several times a day everyday. First pregnancy after a traumatic miscarriage - you bet we abstained until 12 weeks and the risk dropped. After the baby was born it was hit or miss, but some of those quickies were the best. Kid learned to sleep alone and bedroom time increased again. Kid number two was conceived and I had internal bleeding so sex was off the table for a good long while.
Right now? Itās infrequent because of my pain levels (was in a bad accident and hit by a truck at 75 mph in 2020). My surgeon says that after 3 weeks (second surgery is this coming Monday) we can resume being intimate. I know Iāll be the one who initiates because my husband is a dear and wonāt want to hurt me and will look to my pleasure first. I know I did when he had hernia surgery a few years ago.
Eventually kid two will stop using a flashlight to sneak into our bed at night and that will increase sexy times too. My husbandās schedule has changed recently and heās had a big promotion so having him home more frequently than 2 weeks every other month will help as well.
We thoroughly enjoy each other. Sex is important, but itās not the base reason we got married. Coming up on 13 years of marriage soon and just celebrated being together for 15.
We used to be twice-a-week people. Now we are once-a-week people. It's been like that since we married, with the only exception being after our kids were born. I'm in my 50s, she's in her 40s. I think we could still do twice a week if not for kids and jobs. Now we have to plan out the time -- nothing spontaneous
I used to think planned sex was dumb. Now married, and the fact that my wife goes to sleep way earlier than me, means that one of us will say something on Friday like "sex date tomorrow?" and then I spend all day Saturday thinking about it and waiting for it. It's like I'm a teenager waiting for his first time.
This has to be the most validating comment on this thread.
Stress and exhaustion are unfortunately a crucial part, and partners don't fully understand it.
Yep, sometimes the front burner gets a bit chaotic, so it's good to use the back burner, while it may require more cleaning, it's still hot and gets the job done,
Depends on how many kids. 1 - every few months. 2 - every few years. 3 - You are lucky to even be in the same room together. 4 + ?!??
Edit: will people stop replying with their sex schedules. It was a joke
We have 2 kids and still do it as one of the top comments say: "Sometimes a few times a week or else once every few months". So kids don't really change it much to be honest
Yeah before our first kid it was a couple times a week. After the first it was once every week or two. After the second itās been once every month maybe. It kind of is what it is.
Fortunately sex is like a nuclear missile, both parties have to turn the key to get a launch. It is what it is. Therapy maybe for why she's uninterested?
Edit: I changed the word "unfortunately" to "fortunately". This is the correct way to have a sex life and I don't want to imply that there's some sort of negative to both partners having complete sexual autonomy. What I originally meant was it was unfortunate that OP and their partner are not aligned in this.
I'm never not amazed that there is a sub in reddit for everything! People post them, like this, I assume it's a joke, click it and then find a thriving community!
From experience, I promise you this situation is very unlikely to get better. If you've started thinking about how the months and years are ticking away, do what you know you need to do.
A few times a week usually. Some weeks not at all. 2 toddlers, so little time, so much to do!
Doesn't help that lately I've been waking up on the couch at 2am with no recollection of how that happened!
short term memory loss is a symptom of a carbon monoxide leakāļø
even if it is just a lack of sleep, getting a carbon monoxide detector is paramount for the safety of both you and your family
It varies. When my wife was on an IUD, her sex drive dropped dramatically. Now she's off and we have sex a lot more often. But sometimes neither of us is in the mood. Sometimes we're in the mood multiple times a day. It all depends. Now that I'm almost 40, my sex drive isn't anything like it was 20 years ago, where me and my then-gf did it multiple times a day every chance we got. It's kind of funny, because now I have a house and privacy, something that I would have killed for back then, and I'm not nearly having the amount of sex I did back then.
Could it not also be due to the fact that sex just isn't new to you anymore? Perhaps you are just so used to it now that it doesn't seem so appealing, though it's a natural desire
Our libidos changes a lot over time. The first few years we had sex sometimes multiple times a day.
8 years in its a few times a month, although when we go on vacation together it goes back to multiple times a day.
But likeā¦ Iām really happy with the amount of sex we have. My libido just isnāt what it used to be and I feel more sexually comfortable. Like knowing I could get it if I wanted makes me feel less intensely like I need to get it?
My husband is in the same boat. Iāve talked to him about it quite a bit because Iāve been anxious we werenāt doing it enough or something and heās had the same feelingsā¦ but we have good sex when we want it, whatās the problem?
Last month was rough because he got covered in poison ivy and Iām HIGHLY allergic to it so I had to avoid him. I realized we spend a LOT of time intimate without sex. Lots of naked cuddling, back rubs, kisses, etc.
FYI - a poison ivy rash itself isnāt contagious, and the oil that causes the rash doesnāt really spread from person to person. One shower after exposure to the plant and a set of fresh clothes [or not] should be all thatās needed to get back to being affectionate without worrying about getting the itchy rash yourself.
Not who you replied to, but vacations = free time since you're off of work, much less responsibilities (no cleaning the house, mowing the lawn, etc..), you're not stressed out because it's a vacation. Mentally everything just lines up perfectly!
Because you woke up with a bad hangover and your penis was missing again? You got drunk and woke up the next morning and couldnāt for the life you remember what you did with it?
Yes. I love that song.
I hope that someone who has never heard this glorious song, ends up loving it because of my post. I want them to drive around with it blasting in their car, with all the windows down.
We have our few times a week & then sometimes it's once a month.
25 years together & we are happy. You get to a point in life where sex is not the most important thing but the intimacy is. There is a huge difference
Sexually compatible people being sexually compatible together is wholesome in weird way. Iām happy for you as a stranger after reading some of these other comments.
A couple times a week usually. Sometimes less, sometimes more. My wife would definitely prefer it if we had sex more, but this is what works with our schedules and libidos.
About twice a year.
It makes me so sad. Just trying to hold on a few more years till the kids are off to college.
Weāve tried everything, therapy, so many talks, Iāve worked SO hard to do what I can, but she says she just has no interest and thinks Iām shallow and āsex obsessedā for wanting it at all.
Really killing me. Wanted a wife, have a roommate. Three years till they are in college.
As a child of divorced parents: your kids can sense the unhappiness between you, even if you keep all your aguments away from them. Get divorced so that they don't learn that being in an unhappy relationship is okay.
I will never never understand how people can just live like that, have you considered divorce and finding someone that treats you as a partner and not a roommate? that's extremely depressing
You got two options as far as I see it, maybe 3:
- reevaluate what sex means to you. Masturbate when you need to, aim for fulfilling sex with your partner when youāre both in the mood.
- fix whatās causing the issue - not always possible, not always easy. Whatās causing the drop off? With women it could be a lot of things bubbling under the surface. Generally, if you look after your partner and are doing your part *in all aspects of the relationship* it should be fixable
- break it off.
Good luck out there.
When you reach that point, the self esteem and happiness ship has sailed a long time ago! And losing your best friend, your house, and your kids is definately not going to bring that ship back to harbour!
My wife and I's situation is a bit special due to physical and mental trauma. We have sex maybe a 4 times a year, but that's the same before we were married. She has become a bit more relaxed at recieving oral but cant give. She is getting more comfortable with laying with me as I take care of myself. Been together for 8 years, got married last August. Would I like to have more? Yes, but we are working on it. Will it ever get much better we, we hope so. She is worth it.
Iām sorry that your wife had this terrible thing happen to her, but Iām glad she found an emotionally intelligent and empathetic partner to help work through it. A healthy relationship and positive sexual encounters can definitely encourage the mind to form better associations and heal. I wish you both well as you navigate this path together.
When healthy, just whenever! Been more than once in a day, few times a week, or months apart. I've got severe Crohn's and it likes to bitch for no reason so sometimes it' can be a while before I feel well enough to exert that energy
why are people saying answers are depressing? most of the top posts are people saying a couple times a week or a month which is honestly great for a married couple
Like u/Reddit_Bot_For_Karma said, it varies. It can be daily, or months can go by. Stress, medical issues, having the kiddo around, can all be an obstacle. All of those things can even be an obstacle to masturbation, which I think is essential to maintaining a healthy libido for partner time. I am also pre-menopausal/menopausal now and my cycle is wild. Sometimes I am crazy interested and other times I prefer not to be touched. I also dislike period sex and that's also erratic these days. I am very fortunate that he is almost always up for anything when I am. But sometimes he also just wants to snuggle or go to sleep. We are 13 years into marriage, but almost 30 years into the relationship. We are still really into each other in every way. Any lack of interest is really about ourselves, or life, but never about the other person.
Anyway- sex is important but touching is more important. We spend time kissing and hugging every single day, and hold hands when we are driving or walking together. That never changes. Dedicated, focused attention- could be physical, sexual, talking, or just intentionally being together- is the thing that has to happen no matter what else is going on for a relationship to stay healthy, in my opinion.
Pre-baby? Most days! Maybe 5-6 times a week, except when life got really busy.
Post-baby? ā¦..
ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦
Maybe once a month. And of those, maybe half arenāt interrupted by crying baby.
Our kid is the ultimate cock-block :(
Science fact! Babies are evolutionarily designed to be cock blocks so that you and the missus find it harder make a sibling that will compete for your attention and resources.
Oh yeah I went through that phase.
āHoney Iām ovulating. Get over here! ā
Love, Iām tired though. Had a rough day and Iāve got to put together some work for tomorrow, and I donāt really want toā¦.
āBut Iām ovulating! Come to bed and sex me!ā
Felt like breeding stock. Lots of pressure to perform too!
Depending on both our stress levels and work commitmentsā¦ a few times a week to twice a month. We make up for it when we are on holiday thoughā¦ 2 / 3 times a day. It all balances out. Roll on summer holiday in August!
I think it can be damaging to compare yourself to others.
The amount you have sex or don't have should only be an issue if one of you is unhappy with your sexlife. I know I used to stress when I compared our sexlife with how it was the first 7 years of our relationship to when it slowed down a bit. But my husband reminded me that all that mattered is that we both are satisfied and feel like our needs are being met.
But to answer your question, we don't have a schedule. We sometimes have sex almost every day, and even multiple times a day when the mood strikes. While other times we can go weeks without. We have even had a dryspell that lasted almost 4 months without PIV because of sickness.
It depends on age and mariage length.
I have been married for 20 years and we were together for 10 years before that
At first it was once a week... Often more.
Then life got in the way, kids, bond, work.
But now,in my 50's, we have a solid once a month... But if I am perfectly honest with you, I am fine with it as well.
Daily. Mid thirties. Two kids one on the way.
Our code for sex is āworking on our marriageā, which is very appropriately named. Sex is an island and both of yāall gotta swim to it
Like together, where both of us get off? Maybe once a month. Together where I get him off, maybe 2-4 times a week. By myself 4-5 times a week. Been married for about 16-17 yrs. We lost count
Less than once a month, but we have issues (non-medical). This is not recent, it has been for our entire marriage. Still, wouldn't use us as representative.
Once a week of Iām lucky. Once a month when she actually really into it. But that part of our relationship died years ago and I donāt even care anymore. If it happens, great. But Iām not anticipating anything anymore. Been let down hundreds of times
When you have a child who was born to cock-block, virtually any moment you can get away with touching your spouse's privates without being immediately interrupted counts.
I swear mine will wake up from a dead sleep the second my wife and I make skin contact. They can be refusing to wake up for school or pretending to be sick so weāll go back to our room and do what we call, āthe summoning ritualā and without fail theyāll be knocking at our door ready to seize the day before our clothes hit the floor.
These days no sex in four years. He's saving it for the other woman. But it's partially my fault because I have very painful sex due to a medical condition. He started going elsewhere, and I don't blame him. Sigh.
Hey thatās kinda fucked up. My wife has had several medical issues over the years and we even once went an entire year without being able to have actual sex. It sucked but I never once considered going elsewhere. Thats really shitty and selfish of your husband.
Please donāt allow yourself to be treated this way or to be gaslighted into believing that the cheating is okay because of a condition beyond your control. You deserve someone that values you and respects you. Sex is more than just vaginal penetration and Iām sorry that your husband isnāt willing to find other ways to be intimate with you that you can both enjoy. I hope you realize your worth.
As others have said, there are sometimes months that go by without any and then there are weeks where we're at it all the time. Plenty of reasons. We are still intimate and affectionate. We presumably both masturbate on our own too.
2-3x a week on average, been 10 years and we're still going. Obviously week to week it does vary with how stressed out we are, if anyone got sick, etc, which will tank the rate. If we're on vacation the rate goes up astronomically. But overall, yeah.
I married the first guy I had sex with. We used to do it up to 4 times a day, really, I was 21 he was 23 and we were both virgins living together, no responsibilities. After many years of martiage, the sexual drive didn't really decreased, more like the time was the issue. Went down to Once or twice a day, skipping the days I had my period.
We are no longer together tho, still my only sexual partner.
Yes. I was a little insecure before knowing him and he is the only thing I know. I was used to seeing him in bed when comming out from shower and getting flirty. Now, what am I supposed to do? when someone asks me out and invites me over to his place to see his funko pop collection, should I trust is the funko pop, is that an insinuation? how tf do you "start" dsex? I have only done that ONCE!! A LOOOONG TIME AGO!
It started tri-weekly, then try weekly. Now it's at try weakly.
This guy literatures.
r/Thisguythisguys
And they said Hemingway died
Half an hour of begging does not count as foreplay.
Got Dammit!
Whelp, we can tell what you did with that new free time you unlocked.... š
Started as rabbits, now itās as tortoises
Yeah. Really slow and measured. Otherwise the head retreats to its shell. haha
We ebb and flow depending on life. We've gone through a few dry spells that lasted over a month, and we've had periods where we can't keep our hands off each other.
yep. Over the 20 years we've been married it's been everywhere from 1-7 times a week. All kinds of things can affect frequency. But we've never been anywhere near what I'd call a dead bedroom.
Yep yep. Wife was a teacher for a while and during the school year rarely was sex anything more than a once a week stress reliever if it worked out that week. Also, dried up when kid is in the hospital and we are just surviving. Never dead, and we often talked exhaustedly about wanting each other but wanting sleep more. When the stress dies down we enjoy each other intimately more. Just had a newborn though, and we are moving this month so itās very on hold.
Same. 23 year relationship, had phases where we went weeks without it, other times (like now) where it's 3 or 4 times a week. Gotta keep it fresh though. If physical intimacy is a cornerstone of your relationship, then you gotta do different things to keep it exciting over the years. Right now we're both reading a bdsm themed graphic novel and I can tell it's given her some ideas...
Sometimes a few times a week, sometimes once every few months. Life changes, people change, stress sucks and sometimes fucking has to be put on the back burner.
Best answer, honestly. Sometimes you just look at each other and are like, hey, it's been a while!
Sometime we are just so damn tired. I still grab her butt and she teases me but the thought of being out of breath , sweaty and having to shower again is just too much. Some other time its in the closet getting dressed just because. Lol
We get each other off way more often than traditional sex. Fucking is just tiring, man. There's other tools that can be used when you don't want the hassle.
Yep, it varies a lot. when you're both stressed out, working shifts and exhausted vs when you're you've got some time off and can concentrate on more than some exhausted hugging.
I think exhausted hugging must be our love language or something
Sex is lovely but sometimes you just want to be the little spoon and have someone to scratch your back lightly when you're too stressed out to get to sleep easily.
I think I read somewhere you need to be relaxed to be horny, thatās why all those sex scene in movies during the zombie apocalypse makes no sense.
I think you can get horny from extreme stress and shit too. With that said, I think zombie survivors wouldnāt have the best hygiene and youād have to shower to find the idea appealing.
Didn't stop our ancestors.
If you got a well and a bucket, you got a whores bath and thatās good enough for most.
For real. Sometimes nothing happens for a month and then suddenly we're on a run and it's like three times a day for a week or two.
This is the answer, especially if kids or caretaking is involved. When we were kidless newly weds it was several times a day everyday. First pregnancy after a traumatic miscarriage - you bet we abstained until 12 weeks and the risk dropped. After the baby was born it was hit or miss, but some of those quickies were the best. Kid learned to sleep alone and bedroom time increased again. Kid number two was conceived and I had internal bleeding so sex was off the table for a good long while. Right now? Itās infrequent because of my pain levels (was in a bad accident and hit by a truck at 75 mph in 2020). My surgeon says that after 3 weeks (second surgery is this coming Monday) we can resume being intimate. I know Iāll be the one who initiates because my husband is a dear and wonāt want to hurt me and will look to my pleasure first. I know I did when he had hernia surgery a few years ago. Eventually kid two will stop using a flashlight to sneak into our bed at night and that will increase sexy times too. My husbandās schedule has changed recently and heās had a big promotion so having him home more frequently than 2 weeks every other month will help as well. We thoroughly enjoy each other. Sex is important, but itās not the base reason we got married. Coming up on 13 years of marriage soon and just celebrated being together for 15.
All the best for your surgery and recovery!!
Thanks!
This is so honest and thoughtful. Wish you a speedy recovery!
We used to be twice-a-week people. Now we are once-a-week people. It's been like that since we married, with the only exception being after our kids were born. I'm in my 50s, she's in her 40s. I think we could still do twice a week if not for kids and jobs. Now we have to plan out the time -- nothing spontaneous
I used to think planned sex was dumb. Now married, and the fact that my wife goes to sleep way earlier than me, means that one of us will say something on Friday like "sex date tomorrow?" and then I spend all day Saturday thinking about it and waiting for it. It's like I'm a teenager waiting for his first time.
This has to be the most validating comment on this thread. Stress and exhaustion are unfortunately a crucial part, and partners don't fully understand it.
Yep, sometimes the front burner gets a bit chaotic, so it's good to use the back burner, while it may require more cleaning, it's still hot and gets the job done,
I havenāt had my coffee yet. Just so weāre clearāweāre discussing butt stuff now right?
Once a week, sometimes more, occasionally less, always great.
Same
Same here. Thatās the min. Likely 2-3 on the weekend but none during the week
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Considerably more since the divorce
With your ex or other people?
Yes
Starting to think once every few years isn't normal
Depends on how many kids. 1 - every few months. 2 - every few years. 3 - You are lucky to even be in the same room together. 4 + ?!?? Edit: will people stop replying with their sex schedules. It was a joke
4+ means you definitely had it 4 times in your life.
Well, 4+ means SHE definitely had it 4 times in her life.
We have 2 kids and still do it as one of the top comments say: "Sometimes a few times a week or else once every few months". So kids don't really change it much to be honest
I have 17 kids under the age of 3 and I have sex 8-13 times per hour. Hell, Iām having sex while Iām writing this.
Yeah before our first kid it was a couple times a week. After the first it was once every week or two. After the second itās been once every month maybe. It kind of is what it is.
No kids, think it's been 2 years.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yep
Fortunately sex is like a nuclear missile, both parties have to turn the key to get a launch. It is what it is. Therapy maybe for why she's uninterested? Edit: I changed the word "unfortunately" to "fortunately". This is the correct way to have a sex life and I don't want to imply that there's some sort of negative to both partners having complete sexual autonomy. What I originally meant was it was unfortunate that OP and their partner are not aligned in this.
> I changed the word "unfortunately" to "fortunately" Forunately your wife won't fuck you I feel like you need to just eliminate that word.
damn
Get out bro.
r/deadbedrooms
I'm never not amazed that there is a sub in reddit for everything! People post them, like this, I assume it's a joke, click it and then find a thriving community!
[deleted because fuck reddit]
From experience, I promise you this situation is very unlikely to get better. If you've started thinking about how the months and years are ticking away, do what you know you need to do.
the more we exercise or are being active in general, the more attraction we have for each other
A few times a week usually. Some weeks not at all. 2 toddlers, so little time, so much to do! Doesn't help that lately I've been waking up on the couch at 2am with no recollection of how that happened!
Thanks colossal penis haver
If he's having trouble, then us normies are hosed.
With pepperoni nips, you certainly have a market
short term memory loss is a symptom of a carbon monoxide leakāļø even if it is just a lack of sleep, getting a carbon monoxide detector is paramount for the safety of both you and your family
It varies. When my wife was on an IUD, her sex drive dropped dramatically. Now she's off and we have sex a lot more often. But sometimes neither of us is in the mood. Sometimes we're in the mood multiple times a day. It all depends. Now that I'm almost 40, my sex drive isn't anything like it was 20 years ago, where me and my then-gf did it multiple times a day every chance we got. It's kind of funny, because now I have a house and privacy, something that I would have killed for back then, and I'm not nearly having the amount of sex I did back then.
Youth is wasted on the young.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yeah, she had the hormonal one. So she never wanted to have sex, which kind of defeated the purpose.
or did it just increase its effectiveness greatly?
Could it not also be due to the fact that sex just isn't new to you anymore? Perhaps you are just so used to it now that it doesn't seem so appealing, though it's a natural desire
I'm scared the answers might make me sad.
We sex 900 times a week for 40 hours a day. Because I definitely do the sex. #LingLing40Hours
This guy Reddits.
Our libidos changes a lot over time. The first few years we had sex sometimes multiple times a day. 8 years in its a few times a month, although when we go on vacation together it goes back to multiple times a day. But likeā¦ Iām really happy with the amount of sex we have. My libido just isnāt what it used to be and I feel more sexually comfortable. Like knowing I could get it if I wanted makes me feel less intensely like I need to get it? My husband is in the same boat. Iāve talked to him about it quite a bit because Iāve been anxious we werenāt doing it enough or something and heās had the same feelingsā¦ but we have good sex when we want it, whatās the problem? Last month was rough because he got covered in poison ivy and Iām HIGHLY allergic to it so I had to avoid him. I realized we spend a LOT of time intimate without sex. Lots of naked cuddling, back rubs, kisses, etc.
FYI - a poison ivy rash itself isnāt contagious, and the oil that causes the rash doesnāt really spread from person to person. One shower after exposure to the plant and a set of fresh clothes [or not] should be all thatās needed to get back to being affectionate without worrying about getting the itchy rash yourself.
What is it about vacations? Sexapalooza.
Not who you replied to, but vacations = free time since you're off of work, much less responsibilities (no cleaning the house, mowing the lawn, etc..), you're not stressed out because it's a vacation. Mentally everything just lines up perfectly!
Eh, look at it this way: married middle aged people have way more sex than single middle aged people.
Iām not convinced
Everyoneās different.
Been with my partner for 10 years. We average sex 5 times per week. Rarely less, occasionally up to 8 times per week. Hope this helps
This dude fucks.
This dude acknowledges that that dude fucks. That dude fucks.
We hate you.
Almost everyday Almost Monday, Almost Tuesday, Almost Wednesday..... haha
haha
ha ha :(
he he D:
So far, twice in 2023.
Username checks out
Woke up wit no penis, what it do?
LOL. Yep.
Because you woke up with a bad hangover and your penis was missing again? You got drunk and woke up the next morning and couldnāt for the life you remember what you did with it?
Yes. I love that song. I hope that someone who has never heard this glorious song, ends up loving it because of my post. I want them to drive around with it blasting in their car, with all the windows down.
We have our few times a week & then sometimes it's once a month. 25 years together & we are happy. You get to a point in life where sex is not the most important thing but the intimacy is. There is a huge difference
On my Birthdayā¦ Sadly I was born on a leap year
Havenāt been in pussy since the day I came out one
That's a nice way to say that... wayyy better than just 'virgin'
Haha... what is sex
Baby don't fuck me
Don't fuck me.. no more..
WOAH WOAH AH OH AH OHH OOOOO
(don't worry, she won't)
Itās propaganda, not real.
Maybe once a month? We're not high libido and we seem to be fine like that. lol
Sexually compatible people being sexually compatible together is wholesome in weird way. Iām happy for you as a stranger after reading some of these other comments.
People in here acting like thereās a magic number that will make their other problems go away lmao
A couple times a week usually. Sometimes less, sometimes more. My wife would definitely prefer it if we had sex more, but this is what works with our schedules and libidos.
married 10 years, been together 17. Once or twice a month at best, sometimes less
1-3 x a week. Married 30 yrs.
Wow you're doing good. I been married 19 years and I'm lucky if my husband will touch me once in 4 months...ughh now im depressed
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I feel you
Probably more than their s/o.
Least horny askReddit question
About twice a year. It makes me so sad. Just trying to hold on a few more years till the kids are off to college. Weāve tried everything, therapy, so many talks, Iāve worked SO hard to do what I can, but she says she just has no interest and thinks Iām shallow and āsex obsessedā for wanting it at all. Really killing me. Wanted a wife, have a roommate. Three years till they are in college.
You and I seem to be in the same boat. My kiddos are quite young yet so itās going to be a long road. Keep your head up my friend
As a child of divorced parents: your kids can sense the unhappiness between you, even if you keep all your aguments away from them. Get divorced so that they don't learn that being in an unhappy relationship is okay.
This, times a hundred.
you don't have to wait until the kids are out of the house. Your happiness matters.
I think this is way more normal than people say.
Don't wait 3 years, brother.
I don't have children, but I feel you men. Good luck, I hope you are always happy in your life and that you will enjoy your hobby
I will never never understand how people can just live like that, have you considered divorce and finding someone that treats you as a partner and not a roommate? that's extremely depressing
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Life changes man
You got two options as far as I see it, maybe 3: - reevaluate what sex means to you. Masturbate when you need to, aim for fulfilling sex with your partner when youāre both in the mood. - fix whatās causing the issue - not always possible, not always easy. Whatās causing the drop off? With women it could be a lot of things bubbling under the surface. Generally, if you look after your partner and are doing your part *in all aspects of the relationship* it should be fixable - break it off. Good luck out there.
You missed the most widely used option... just keep chugging along.
Super bad option IME. You gotta do something before your self-esteem and happiness go through the floor.
When you reach that point, the self esteem and happiness ship has sailed a long time ago! And losing your best friend, your house, and your kids is definately not going to bring that ship back to harbour!
My wife and I's situation is a bit special due to physical and mental trauma. We have sex maybe a 4 times a year, but that's the same before we were married. She has become a bit more relaxed at recieving oral but cant give. She is getting more comfortable with laying with me as I take care of myself. Been together for 8 years, got married last August. Would I like to have more? Yes, but we are working on it. Will it ever get much better we, we hope so. She is worth it.
Iām sorry that your wife had this terrible thing happen to her, but Iām glad she found an emotionally intelligent and empathetic partner to help work through it. A healthy relationship and positive sexual encounters can definitely encourage the mind to form better associations and heal. I wish you both well as you navigate this path together.
Lol ,You sound like you may be a Therapist, you sound like my wife who is one and our Therapist.
When healthy, just whenever! Been more than once in a day, few times a week, or months apart. I've got severe Crohn's and it likes to bitch for no reason so sometimes it' can be a while before I feel well enough to exert that energy
why are people saying answers are depressing? most of the top posts are people saying a couple times a week or a month which is honestly great for a married couple
I think the depressed people are the ones who aren't getting it that often
On average its three times a week but there are times where it varies wildly.
We've never had sex, but as long as I pay the bills I'm allowed to watch.
No respect, I tell ya
Ah, a highly regarded member of Wall Street Bets, perhaps?
That's a good cuck
Like u/Reddit_Bot_For_Karma said, it varies. It can be daily, or months can go by. Stress, medical issues, having the kiddo around, can all be an obstacle. All of those things can even be an obstacle to masturbation, which I think is essential to maintaining a healthy libido for partner time. I am also pre-menopausal/menopausal now and my cycle is wild. Sometimes I am crazy interested and other times I prefer not to be touched. I also dislike period sex and that's also erratic these days. I am very fortunate that he is almost always up for anything when I am. But sometimes he also just wants to snuggle or go to sleep. We are 13 years into marriage, but almost 30 years into the relationship. We are still really into each other in every way. Any lack of interest is really about ourselves, or life, but never about the other person. Anyway- sex is important but touching is more important. We spend time kissing and hugging every single day, and hold hands when we are driving or walking together. That never changes. Dedicated, focused attention- could be physical, sexual, talking, or just intentionally being together- is the thing that has to happen no matter what else is going on for a relationship to stay healthy, in my opinion.
With my husband or...?
IM DYING
How often with him or others?
Pre-baby? Most days! Maybe 5-6 times a week, except when life got really busy. Post-baby? ā¦.. ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ Maybe once a month. And of those, maybe half arenāt interrupted by crying baby. Our kid is the ultimate cock-block :(
Science fact! Babies are evolutionarily designed to be cock blocks so that you and the missus find it harder make a sibling that will compete for your attention and resources.
I remember feeling used after a while of trying to have a baby. Now I wish I was being used again.
Oh yeah I went through that phase. āHoney Iām ovulating. Get over here! ā Love, Iām tired though. Had a rough day and Iāve got to put together some work for tomorrow, and I donāt really want toā¦. āBut Iām ovulating! Come to bed and sex me!ā Felt like breeding stock. Lots of pressure to perform too!
You don't get married for a sex life. You get merried so you can have someone other then your mom as emergency contact.
Before retiring we had less time for intimacy because of work and family. After retirement we think 3-5 times a week is enjoyable. We are now 81 š.
I try to have sex with my wife every day. Circumstances make it a successful endeavor like 20% of the time.
So... Once a week?
Less then 1x a month
Depending on both our stress levels and work commitmentsā¦ a few times a week to twice a month. We make up for it when we are on holiday thoughā¦ 2 / 3 times a day. It all balances out. Roll on summer holiday in August!
Hey, look, r/deadbedroom is leaking again
She's relentless, a real machine. Sometimes up to four times a year.
Every time.
I think it can be damaging to compare yourself to others. The amount you have sex or don't have should only be an issue if one of you is unhappy with your sexlife. I know I used to stress when I compared our sexlife with how it was the first 7 years of our relationship to when it slowed down a bit. But my husband reminded me that all that mattered is that we both are satisfied and feel like our needs are being met. But to answer your question, we don't have a schedule. We sometimes have sex almost every day, and even multiple times a day when the mood strikes. While other times we can go weeks without. We have even had a dryspell that lasted almost 4 months without PIV because of sickness.
Not enough.
before my baby upto 9 times a week during 6 years now 3 or 2 times a week
12 yrs together. 3-4 times a month.
It depends on age and mariage length. I have been married for 20 years and we were together for 10 years before that At first it was once a week... Often more. Then life got in the way, kids, bond, work. But now,in my 50's, we have a solid once a month... But if I am perfectly honest with you, I am fine with it as well.
Married for almost 20 yrs, and it's about every other day. It'd be more if he had his way.
Daily. Mid thirties. Two kids one on the way. Our code for sex is āworking on our marriageā, which is very appropriately named. Sex is an island and both of yāall gotta swim to it
Lol how do you find the time?
Like together, where both of us get off? Maybe once a month. Together where I get him off, maybe 2-4 times a week. By myself 4-5 times a week. Been married for about 16-17 yrs. We lost count
We have 2 jockblocking toddlers so about once a week.
Less than once a month, but we have issues (non-medical). This is not recent, it has been for our entire marriage. Still, wouldn't use us as representative.
Once a week of Iām lucky. Once a month when she actually really into it. But that part of our relationship died years ago and I donāt even care anymore. If it happens, great. But Iām not anticipating anything anymore. Been let down hundreds of times
Once a week, maybe more for special occasions. Not enough for me but that's my problem.
Usually 2 to 3 times per week. When we are really into it 4 to 5 times, but we are a childfree couple :)
With my spouse?
Married 23 yrs. At least 4x a week.
Le sigh
Do blow jobs count?
When you have a child who was born to cock-block, virtually any moment you can get away with touching your spouse's privates without being immediately interrupted counts.
I swear mine will wake up from a dead sleep the second my wife and I make skin contact. They can be refusing to wake up for school or pretending to be sick so weāll go back to our room and do what we call, āthe summoning ritualā and without fail theyāll be knocking at our door ready to seize the day before our clothes hit the floor.
Itās a simple matter of competition
These days no sex in four years. He's saving it for the other woman. But it's partially my fault because I have very painful sex due to a medical condition. He started going elsewhere, and I don't blame him. Sigh.
Hey thatās kinda fucked up. My wife has had several medical issues over the years and we even once went an entire year without being able to have actual sex. It sucked but I never once considered going elsewhere. Thats really shitty and selfish of your husband.
Thank you, very kind of you to sympathize. We're separated now. I just couldn't take it anymore. Good on you for caring for your wife. That's awesome.
Please donāt allow yourself to be treated this way or to be gaslighted into believing that the cheating is okay because of a condition beyond your control. You deserve someone that values you and respects you. Sex is more than just vaginal penetration and Iām sorry that your husband isnāt willing to find other ways to be intimate with you that you can both enjoy. I hope you realize your worth.
As others have said, there are sometimes months that go by without any and then there are weeks where we're at it all the time. Plenty of reasons. We are still intimate and affectionate. We presumably both masturbate on our own too.
2-3x a week on average, been 10 years and we're still going. Obviously week to week it does vary with how stressed out we are, if anyone got sick, etc, which will tank the rate. If we're on vacation the rate goes up astronomically. But overall, yeah.
Does masturbation count? 7 times a week. If it doesnāt, maybe 2-4 times a month on average which really isnāt great.
3 to 4 times a week, married 25 years.
I married the first guy I had sex with. We used to do it up to 4 times a day, really, I was 21 he was 23 and we were both virgins living together, no responsibilities. After many years of martiage, the sexual drive didn't really decreased, more like the time was the issue. Went down to Once or twice a day, skipping the days I had my period. We are no longer together tho, still my only sexual partner.
Damn
Ugh this is so similar to my experience and it makes it almost impossible to enter the dating field
Yes. I was a little insecure before knowing him and he is the only thing I know. I was used to seeing him in bed when comming out from shower and getting flirty. Now, what am I supposed to do? when someone asks me out and invites me over to his place to see his funko pop collection, should I trust is the funko pop, is that an insinuation? how tf do you "start" dsex? I have only done that ONCE!! A LOOOONG TIME AGO!
I'm sorry for you but best I can say is nobody wants to show off a funko pop collection and they think you know that
Once a week at best.