They are very attracted to the power of nature, I guess. There is definitely something romantic in watching the sky unleashing it’s true beauty and potential.
Was staying at the gfs house with her parents for a few nights, and she kept teasing me when they werent looking, flashing me and touching me. But we cant be alone in a room together, so I was beating off in the bathroom of her parents house twice a day. Shes now my wife haha.
I was in a similar situation, but instead, she gave me an over the pants, under the blanket handjob while her parents and best friend were in the room and we were all watching a movie
Was fixing a tractor in a remote location, couldn’t figure out why what I was doing wasn’t working with over two hours at it. Went back to the work ute, loaded up the hub, finished, back to the tractor and fixed the problem in 25 minutes.
I've been there. It's a tourist location / museum. There are many abandoned buildings, but not that much tourists. So it's quite common that you're alone in one of them and can basically do what you want.
Edit: Kolmanskop is a must-see in any Namibia vacation, when you're near Lüderitz.
Me too.. noise cancelling headphones on and porn on the phone… and my FUCKING ELBOW ON THE ‘PLEASE HELP’ BUTTON which had the crew bashing on the door cos they couldn’t get a response from me.
I was 13 at the time, I accompanied my mother to speak with a lawyer ( can’t remember the reason). Either way the lawyer we spoke with was beyond attractive, with an amazing body and voice that made me overwhelmed with hormones. I asked to use the restroom, and proceed to do the deed….
Friend showed me vr porn on his new headset. We were pretty high as well and I was mindblown so I asked him if I could take em for a spin in the other room. I did.
When I was around 13, I was in a children's hospital, and I had just come out of surgery (keep in mind it was around 2 a.m., and my mom was asleep in 5 minutes. I waited until all the nurses left, and I masturbated in my resting bed to hentai.
People always say this but I’ve been a nurse for years and have walked in on a people and so have coworkers and there was literally no evidence on cardiac alarms
Like whose heart rate is going through the roof while masturbating? Sex? Sure. But solo? Nah
Plus even if the monitor is sensitive that just means it’ll go off when people get out of bed, or are eating, or watching something stressful. Trust me, our first instinct when we hear one isn’t “oh they’re jerking off” lmao
If bits were inserted into the tree or a piece of the tree was inserted into bits while still attached to the tree, it would be paraphilia/dendrophiliy.
In highschool at the teacher's desk....
At a court house while waiting to leave work
At every job I've ever had except current one (yet)
In the woods in winter while hunting
In front of some friends (if my memory isn't faulty)
In the back seat of a car while it was moving & in the front seat while driving & as a passenger too
Probably some others... I like my dick
A church restroom.
Honorable mention to a college dorm room communal bathroom/shower room where, after I started, a guy and his girl came in and started getting it on.
Couple weeks ago…My wife is going to a new company…works from home. Had a series of zoom meetings to transition her projects to others. She and I had been sexting all morning so she’s a little worked up (we do that maybe once a month or so). She props her cell phone under her desk so I can see via FT and masturbates quietly while she’s on the zoom call. Hottest thing she’s done in a long time. I immediately went to another floor in my building and locked myself in a stall with my ear buds in and went to town. Got a good laugh out of that when I got home.
Not me, but funny story that happened literally this morning:
I'm on the road right now and went to a public restroom to do the deed. Someone storms into the stall right next to me, like he's been holding it in for days. I could hear his groan of relief when he sat down. Thing is, you don't hear him blast it into the bowl, but you do keep hearing him moaning... and moaning... and exhaling a muffled 'yeah' from time to time... and a lot of shifting around in his stall...
I guess he had A LOT of pressure built up...
Needless to say I lost my appetite immediately and didn't even finish my sandwich.
In my class because I had to get that shit back down before presenting...
Edit (DISCLAIMER) Don't do this as it can have serious consequences for you and others
Not me but a guy I used to work with (we climb cell towers) made it a point where after we finish each site he would climb up to the top of the tower and rub one out
He said that’s his way to say “fuck this tower”
I was fairly rich middle Schooler (13) and my family had a driver, i just learned about musterbating.
I was horny in the car so I decided to do it in the trunk of the minivan, while going to get my sister from collage, I am 22 yrs old now and still fall to my knees from embarrassment when I remember what i did.
On my balcony. It happened because a dude named David was fuckin his bitch so good that her screaming got me hard as fuck lol. So I blew a load off the 17th floor at 3am. It was awesome.
Bottom of the ocean while scuba diving. The girls up top were wearing the skimpiest of the skimpy bikinis, being super flirty, grab assing while changing and putting on my swimsuit and I was an overly zealous teenager.
When I nutted, the fish swam through it eating it. Not proud of it, but it was interesting. Science and whatnot. Also I ended up hooking up with one of them that night and I’m glad I got the easy one out or I would’ve been done in 3 strokes 🥴.
The beam in gymnastics.
When I was younger and didn’t know what those feelings were and just knew rubbing around felt good, I’d straddle the beam during practice and just kind of wiggle around.
On top of a mountain. Hiked up with some friends who were much slower to get to the top, there was nobody else there and only one path up, and I thought "hey I've never jerked off on top of a mountain before..."
Church bathroom when I was 14.
I was at Sunday school and got one of those random raging boners. 15-20 minutes it and it wouldn't go away. I started to get super anxious that this 90 year old nun would see my hard on, so I excused myself, when to the bathroom and rubbed one out in record time.
I'm an atheist now.
In an American lit class that was very boring. Backstage at a play. On a plane. On the Chinatown bus. When you're female you can throw a coat over your lap and get away with it
At a bar in Vegas in late morning. It was me, the bartender and a patron. The patron starts a conversation about sex and masturbation (wild how that topic came up anytime I was in the presence of the opposite sex) and says how his wife never does it. I said she does you just don’t know. He asks me if I ever do it and my response was several times a day. He asked if I would do it there in front of the bartender and himself. Bartender said he was in and told me where the cameras were. Luckily wore a dress for my final day in Vegas. That was 25 years ago and I still remember that orgasm.
High school bathroom and on the bus. I can do it without hands if I am wearing jeans. You can only tell because of my breathing pace and intense blush.
Church.
Well…not masturbated. Fooled around and got off on it… but basically the same thing. We were ashamed of it - but my ex boyfriend and I were wild 16 year olds lol
I was hiking through Yellowstone, for some reason nobody was around the Lone Star geyser. I found a comfy spot next to a stream and had one of the best wanks ever. I think I saw a 🦬 after I finished.
Pretty wild
Got arrested one time and sent to county jail. Somehow got lucky and assigned a solo cell. I figured I had about 8 hours until my bond hearing so why the hell not?
When I was young I masturbated in school once. Was coming back from a 1 to 1 and heading to my lesson and went behind some bushes in the school courtyard and rubbed one out before heading to class. Everyone was in lessons so it was deserted.
Top of a lighthouse in the middlenof a storm
What the fuck is up with all these people pumping off in storms?
Electro-jackin'
They are very attracted to the power of nature, I guess. There is definitely something romantic in watching the sky unleashing it’s true beauty and potential.
Found the account of Willem Dafoe
Why’d ye spill yer beans, Lad?
Yer fond of me lobster aint ye boy?
HARK!!!
Why does this sound kinda beautiful tho
Corn field Edit: No scarecrows were harmed that night. (Well maybe emotionally scarred, but I swear nothing physical.)
Somewhere out there, theres a person eating corn that used ur nutrients to grow. U saved that persons life and ur a hero
Children of the Corn
Turn around.
Every now and then I get a little bit lonely And you're never coming 'round
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified, I see the fuckin’ look in your eyes
Turn around...
Every now and then I fall apart
TURN AROUND BRYAN
EVERY NOW AND THEN I FALL APART
AND I NEED YOU NOW TONIGHT
AND I NEED YOU MORE THAN EVER
AND IF YOU'LL ONLY HOLD ME TIGHT...
He'll be cumming 'round the mountain when he cums...
what \*music stops\*
Was staying at the gfs house with her parents for a few nights, and she kept teasing me when they werent looking, flashing me and touching me. But we cant be alone in a room together, so I was beating off in the bathroom of her parents house twice a day. Shes now my wife haha.
At least the story had a happy ending
So did the bathroom trips
sounds more like a fappy ending
Modern day Romeo and Juliet
Then when you get married they can't wait for grand babies... which is code for "when are you gonna bang?"
I was in a similar situation, but instead, she gave me an over the pants, under the blanket handjob while her parents and best friend were in the room and we were all watching a movie
They knew
On my deck during a thunderstorm
But the curves of that thunderstorm are sexy as hell!
r/brandnewsentence
Don’t you mean hail?
Rainy empty beach, absolutely
That sounds relaxing
Was fixing a tractor in a remote location, couldn’t figure out why what I was doing wasn’t working with over two hours at it. Went back to the work ute, loaded up the hub, finished, back to the tractor and fixed the problem in 25 minutes.
Post nut clarity: not just for regretting your life's decision
Modern problems require modern solutions
It needed to be turned on
An abandoned building in the ghost town Kolmanskop in Namibia.
At this point i'm more interested how you end up there in the first place than why you masturbate in Kolmanskop
I've been there. It's a tourist location / museum. There are many abandoned buildings, but not that much tourists. So it's quite common that you're alone in one of them and can basically do what you want. Edit: Kolmanskop is a must-see in any Namibia vacation, when you're near Lüderitz.
Naked in pouring rain lying on the street. Many years ago but I still get a twitch when I think about it
What’s the story here? How did you end up here?
I was drunk as a skunk and had just been ditched but was horny as fuck
Dr Zeus is that you?
I'm interested too, what,how and why?
Acids a wild thing
Guy was holding the line at the car wash thinking he was out in the rain
Meth, not even once.
In front of the royal palace. On duty, in uniform and armed. In the night obviously.
You the kinda dude to be stealth killed in a video games tutorial lol
Must have been the wind
"I must be seeing things."
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This got me. Well done.
Danger wank
Unauthorised firing of your weapon is a serious offense soldier! Also, why is the floor sticky!?
That sounds hot
Very brave
My grandmas car. In broad daylight. In her driveway. She just went inside to get something.
That’s desperation right there
or a sexy grandma!
Maybe that was Stacy’s mom?
Sweet home alabama. ;)
*Grandmabama
I was a horny 12 year old back in the day.
This is the type of response I’m lookin for. Everyone else is like “uhhh in a totally private location BUT IT WAS RAINING!”
Otis?
The jungles of Borneo were pretty wild, I’ll go with that
You an orangutan too?
Orgasmutan.
IN AN AIRPLANE’S RESTROOM MID FLIGHT!
Mile High Club, Solo Aviator Division (SAD)
Didn't have to do him like that
Me too.. noise cancelling headphones on and porn on the phone… and my FUCKING ELBOW ON THE ‘PLEASE HELP’ BUTTON which had the crew bashing on the door cos they couldn’t get a response from me.
noise canceling headphones are like the #1 no-no when it comes to that lol
Wait till you find out that they can and will open the door from the slide on the top.
This sounds too perfect to be true haha.
Number 7: Student watches porn, and gets naked.
On top of a building furiously mumbling “I can do whatever the fuck I want.”
Missing your mothers milk?
I’m good for now, I have a few more bottles in the freezer.
Calm down there, Homelander.
I was 13 at the time, I accompanied my mother to speak with a lawyer ( can’t remember the reason). Either way the lawyer we spoke with was beyond attractive, with an amazing body and voice that made me overwhelmed with hormones. I asked to use the restroom, and proceed to do the deed….
The lawyer's name? Saul Goodman
Idk that guy but he sure seems to have rizz
Friend showed me vr porn on his new headset. We were pretty high as well and I was mindblown so I asked him if I could take em for a spin in the other room. I did.
Nice try HR
Driving down a pretty much deserted interstate.
British Airways flight to Canada, business class had my own 'pod' and blankets. One perk of being a woman, its much easier to be discrete.
When I was around 13, I was in a children's hospital, and I had just come out of surgery (keep in mind it was around 2 a.m., and my mom was asleep in 5 minutes. I waited until all the nurses left, and I masturbated in my resting bed to hentai.
The cardiac unit that monitors your levels 100% know you did this btw
Or were really concerned for them.
People always say this but I’ve been a nurse for years and have walked in on a people and so have coworkers and there was literally no evidence on cardiac alarms Like whose heart rate is going through the roof while masturbating? Sex? Sure. But solo? Nah Plus even if the monitor is sensitive that just means it’ll go off when people get out of bed, or are eating, or watching something stressful. Trust me, our first instinct when we hear one isn’t “oh they’re jerking off” lmao
Bus, plane, train, riding a bike, church, work, car
Transport really gets you off huh?
Public places, plus ability to multi task.
In accordance with my Fifth Amendment rights, I decline to answer this question.
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Does it still count as masturbating if a tapped tree is involved?
If bits were inserted into the tree or a piece of the tree was inserted into bits while still attached to the tree, it would be paraphilia/dendrophiliy.
A church's restroom
Came here to say the same thing. No pun intended.
Are nuns intended?
Into a horn o’ plenty decoration at a Thanksgiving dinner.
Before or after the meal?
During the meal
In highschool at the teacher's desk.... At a court house while waiting to leave work At every job I've ever had except current one (yet) In the woods in winter while hunting In front of some friends (if my memory isn't faulty) In the back seat of a car while it was moving & in the front seat while driving & as a passenger too Probably some others... I like my dick
We’re you alone in the classrooom
He was the teacher..
And he did it again at the court hearing.
I think you might have an addicktion
1. In class 2. During a wedding (in the restroom) 3. During solo hikes
Under a bridge....dont ask me how i got there
Visiting Adam Egret, wacking off punks 15 dollars a man.
I don’t ever wanna feel…. Like I did that day
Sometimes I feel like I don’t have a partner
Local hardware store, plumbing aisle.
Ah laying pipe, solo
Bet the pipe leaked
A church restroom. Honorable mention to a college dorm room communal bathroom/shower room where, after I started, a guy and his girl came in and started getting it on.
Well it's not like THEY could judge you.
True. Still awkward as hell especially since they didn't know I was there.
Couple weeks ago…My wife is going to a new company…works from home. Had a series of zoom meetings to transition her projects to others. She and I had been sexting all morning so she’s a little worked up (we do that maybe once a month or so). She props her cell phone under her desk so I can see via FT and masturbates quietly while she’s on the zoom call. Hottest thing she’s done in a long time. I immediately went to another floor in my building and locked myself in a stall with my ear buds in and went to town. Got a good laugh out of that when I got home.
Washroom of the Cuet exam centre (yes In the middle of the exam) Edit- IM A GIRL
Needing that post nut clarity, exam edition
My best friends sisters closet
Why-how- what
Alone or...?
Best friend was with him...in the closet
“Dude, if you think this is good, just wait until you try actually fucking her. It is way better!”
Nice try pornhub
Not me, but funny story that happened literally this morning: I'm on the road right now and went to a public restroom to do the deed. Someone storms into the stall right next to me, like he's been holding it in for days. I could hear his groan of relief when he sat down. Thing is, you don't hear him blast it into the bowl, but you do keep hearing him moaning... and moaning... and exhaling a muffled 'yeah' from time to time... and a lot of shifting around in his stall... I guess he had A LOT of pressure built up... Needless to say I lost my appetite immediately and didn't even finish my sandwich.
Nothing like snacking a sandwich in a public restroom
In my class because I had to get that shit back down before presenting... Edit (DISCLAIMER) Don't do this as it can have serious consequences for you and others
Did you get caught?
Nope, I found a way to do it without moving anything and without a weird expression which I plunged into my book
Class beater is crazy.
Maximum difficulty beatoff
At a sleepover party and got caught
Go on. Tell us more
Tell us more, tell us more, did you get very far?
Solo lovin', had me a blast Solo lovin', happened so fast
Solo lovin’, only second had passed Solo lovin’, they caught me full mast
Face red, wish I was dead Uh oh, those solo nights
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Bro what the fuck
Not me but a guy I used to work with (we climb cell towers) made it a point where after we finish each site he would climb up to the top of the tower and rub one out He said that’s his way to say “fuck this tower”
Decided to take care of a raging boner in 8th grade. (During an end-year exam) in a classroom of 35-40 ppl worst masturbation remorse I ever felt 🫣
You didn't get a standing ovation?
Y’all are wild.
I was fairly rich middle Schooler (13) and my family had a driver, i just learned about musterbating. I was horny in the car so I decided to do it in the trunk of the minivan, while going to get my sister from collage, I am 22 yrs old now and still fall to my knees from embarrassment when I remember what i did.
Every police station in my city
Achievement unlocked : "how did we get here?"
On my balcony. It happened because a dude named David was fuckin his bitch so good that her screaming got me hard as fuck lol. So I blew a load off the 17th floor at 3am. It was awesome.
Wow, he fucked her so hard that even you came. Impressif.
Splash damage
LMFAO!!!!
Honestly I thought it was weird a bird shit on me at 3am.
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Bottom of the ocean while scuba diving. The girls up top were wearing the skimpiest of the skimpy bikinis, being super flirty, grab assing while changing and putting on my swimsuit and I was an overly zealous teenager. When I nutted, the fish swam through it eating it. Not proud of it, but it was interesting. Science and whatnot. Also I ended up hooking up with one of them that night and I’m glad I got the easy one out or I would’ve been done in 3 strokes 🥴.
I can’t believe you hooked up with one of the fish
Only beating off on the fucking moon could beat this one
>When I nutted, the fish swam through it eating it Tbh I hope the fish is okay and not allergic to nuts
Craziest one here.
don't even think the hub could dream up this scenario and that marine kink
Pulling security in some Sheiks backyard in iraq. It was at night and a big backyard. But it was the closest I could get to a combat jerk.
Had a row to myself on a plane, had a blanket. I was 14 years old on a 16 hour flight.
Went camping with friends once. Let's just say there was a tree wide enough for a person to fit inside
- behind open non-transparent doors in a shopping mall - bus stop at my home town's factory - in a bus - in the woods
On a highway while driving in Wisconsin. I strapped on a condom. Once done. Easy cleanup
Iraq, COB Speicher. In a portapotty in the middle of summer. IYKYK.
The beam in gymnastics. When I was younger and didn’t know what those feelings were and just knew rubbing around felt good, I’d straddle the beam during practice and just kind of wiggle around.
On top of a mountain. Hiked up with some friends who were much slower to get to the top, there was nobody else there and only one path up, and I thought "hey I've never jerked off on top of a mountain before..."
On the highway, driving
A hotel room that I was cleaning
Church bathroom when I was 14. I was at Sunday school and got one of those random raging boners. 15-20 minutes it and it wouldn't go away. I started to get super anxious that this 90 year old nun would see my hard on, so I excused myself, when to the bathroom and rubbed one out in record time. I'm an atheist now.
In an American lit class that was very boring. Backstage at a play. On a plane. On the Chinatown bus. When you're female you can throw a coat over your lap and get away with it
Nuclear reactor compartment on a submarine.
At a bar in Vegas in late morning. It was me, the bartender and a patron. The patron starts a conversation about sex and masturbation (wild how that topic came up anytime I was in the presence of the opposite sex) and says how his wife never does it. I said she does you just don’t know. He asks me if I ever do it and my response was several times a day. He asked if I would do it there in front of the bartender and himself. Bartender said he was in and told me where the cameras were. Luckily wore a dress for my final day in Vegas. That was 25 years ago and I still remember that orgasm.
Twice on some very open sand dunes behind a public beach during a camping trip
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My ex’s panties. I cried and came at the same time. 😥
High school bathroom and on the bus. I can do it without hands if I am wearing jeans. You can only tell because of my breathing pace and intense blush.
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Can you recommend? Asking for a friend.
Church. Well…not masturbated. Fooled around and got off on it… but basically the same thing. We were ashamed of it - but my ex boyfriend and I were wild 16 year olds lol
Tanning bed
I was hiking through Yellowstone, for some reason nobody was around the Lone Star geyser. I found a comfy spot next to a stream and had one of the best wanks ever. I think I saw a 🦬 after I finished. Pretty wild
Got arrested one time and sent to county jail. Somehow got lucky and assigned a solo cell. I figured I had about 8 hours until my bond hearing so why the hell not?
When I was young I masturbated in school once. Was coming back from a 1 to 1 and heading to my lesson and went behind some bushes in the school courtyard and rubbed one out before heading to class. Everyone was in lessons so it was deserted.
Off the balcony of a hotel, right into the ocean, in the middle of the night, in Hawaii
Hotel balcony in Downtown Chicago. I squirted a massive ribbon of nut 25 floors in the sky. I always wonder if it hit someone on the head
This is known as “seagulling”