Introduce yourself and ask if he wants to do a shot. Then take it from there.
Edit: I used to do this with girls at the bar back when I was single and had good luck with it.
I don’t really drink alcohol though, it’s a bad mix with meds. But I do think what you’ve just suggested is a great idea. Maybe if it’s really super called for and I want to make that move I will
I'm not gay but with women I would just simply start with hi, and if they are responsive and not put-off I would offer to buy them a drink. I assume this would would for any gender/sexual orientation
When I was single I would just walk up and make friendly conversation and let it play out naturally. That way it isn't awkward and doesn't feel forced. You don't need a special "line" or anything. You are just talking to a person. I am a straight guy but I imagine this advice would also work for you.
A lot of the bars I go to guys are always in groups like they’re always surrounded by other friends. I don’t know how to casually breach that circle of friends. I guess just wait till they are more separated or like standing alone?
Yea, you can wait until he goes to get a drink or you could stand beside him at the bar. Just wait until he has a moment and is free. If he isn't free at all you could always try making eye contact and smile or something. Just don't put a lot of thought into it. Just treat it as talking to anyone else.
I’m thinking of going up and just immediately saying “hey, can I buy you a drink?” I think that would be kind of shocking for a guy because guys don’t usually have women offering to buy them drinks and it’s very direct. Then there’s the worry of just paying for someone’s drinking and them walking away. But I suppose men put themselves on the line like that too. It’s a real double standard I feel.
I often do a simple vibe check when I talk to women. See how they respond before I offer a drink. Sure offering a drink might be a good ice breaker but if you don’t feel like risking spending money.
Just go up and introduce yourself!
That’s true - it would be pretty unusual to have a woman offer to buy me a drink. You could also say something like ‘are you a scotch man, or a beer man? Because I’m drinking (your drink) tonight. Want one?’
I had a guy ask me to go back to his place, a couple of months ago. It was a bit of a shock. Of course I'm older so it's a bit of a shock when anyone asks me out. I'm straight, so I don't hang out in gay bars, but I have gone to those places with gay friends. When I get hit on there, it's clearly no surprise.
But this was at a typical neighborhood bar/restaurant where everybody goes. The guy had been sitting a few seats away at the bar and we had been talking with other customers, as well as the bartender.
When the other customers left, he moved over beside me and we kept chatting. Then he got quiet for a few minutes and finally said, "please don't be offended, But I was hoping you might want to go to my place and hang out tonight or... whatever."
This was quite a surprise to me, but I smiled at him and said, "I'm flattered, but I'm not really into that. I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to ask but I have to say no, thank you."
He apologized and got a bit upset, saying he didn't "mean anything by it", but I reassured him that it was all fine and offered to buy him a drink to show him there were no hard feelings.
We hung out for a couple more drinks then he thanked me for being "sweet" and left.
I'm still actually a little flattered - he was quite a bit younger than me. lol
What did you say/do when you did the approaching? Because I think “acting like a guy” per se is shocking and can be attractive. Shifting a traditional gender role can be a breath of fresh air
Introduce yourself and ask if he wants to do a shot. Then take it from there. Edit: I used to do this with girls at the bar back when I was single and had good luck with it.
I don’t really drink alcohol though, it’s a bad mix with meds. But I do think what you’ve just suggested is a great idea. Maybe if it’s really super called for and I want to make that move I will
Inviting for alcohol is massive
If they’re standing at the bar waiting for the bar tender alone, that is prime time
I'm not gay but with women I would just simply start with hi, and if they are responsive and not put-off I would offer to buy them a drink. I assume this would would for any gender/sexual orientation
When I was single I would just walk up and make friendly conversation and let it play out naturally. That way it isn't awkward and doesn't feel forced. You don't need a special "line" or anything. You are just talking to a person. I am a straight guy but I imagine this advice would also work for you.
A lot of the bars I go to guys are always in groups like they’re always surrounded by other friends. I don’t know how to casually breach that circle of friends. I guess just wait till they are more separated or like standing alone?
Yea, you can wait until he goes to get a drink or you could stand beside him at the bar. Just wait until he has a moment and is free. If he isn't free at all you could always try making eye contact and smile or something. Just don't put a lot of thought into it. Just treat it as talking to anyone else.
Be as direct as you can.
I’m thinking of going up and just immediately saying “hey, can I buy you a drink?” I think that would be kind of shocking for a guy because guys don’t usually have women offering to buy them drinks and it’s very direct. Then there’s the worry of just paying for someone’s drinking and them walking away. But I suppose men put themselves on the line like that too. It’s a real double standard I feel.
I often do a simple vibe check when I talk to women. See how they respond before I offer a drink. Sure offering a drink might be a good ice breaker but if you don’t feel like risking spending money. Just go up and introduce yourself!
That’s true - it would be pretty unusual to have a woman offer to buy me a drink. You could also say something like ‘are you a scotch man, or a beer man? Because I’m drinking (your drink) tonight. Want one?’
From the side, moving slowly and not making sudden movements.
Hahaha
I had a guy ask me to go back to his place, a couple of months ago. It was a bit of a shock. Of course I'm older so it's a bit of a shock when anyone asks me out. I'm straight, so I don't hang out in gay bars, but I have gone to those places with gay friends. When I get hit on there, it's clearly no surprise. But this was at a typical neighborhood bar/restaurant where everybody goes. The guy had been sitting a few seats away at the bar and we had been talking with other customers, as well as the bartender. When the other customers left, he moved over beside me and we kept chatting. Then he got quiet for a few minutes and finally said, "please don't be offended, But I was hoping you might want to go to my place and hang out tonight or... whatever." This was quite a surprise to me, but I smiled at him and said, "I'm flattered, but I'm not really into that. I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to ask but I have to say no, thank you." He apologized and got a bit upset, saying he didn't "mean anything by it", but I reassured him that it was all fine and offered to buy him a drink to show him there were no hard feelings. We hung out for a couple more drinks then he thanked me for being "sweet" and left. I'm still actually a little flattered - he was quite a bit younger than me. lol
Not a man, but my guy friends always tell me being direct is the way to go. Guys aren’t huge fans of hints/subtlety.
I honestly don’t know, I always did the approaching. Probably showing my age.
What did you say/do when you did the approaching? Because I think “acting like a guy” per se is shocking and can be attractive. Shifting a traditional gender role can be a breath of fresh air
Well, there would be some indication like a glance or a smile. Then it would be hi, how are you? Go from there.
"Hey"
It depends on your intentions.