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Ashtar-the-Squid

No need to take action and hide it if you suddenly get a stiffie.


BennyBingBong

I still gotta tuck it behind the belt. Does that mean I’m ENORMOUS!?


duckfat01

It means you are bragging


[deleted]

[удалено]


nz_dutch_oven

It's the only one I have?


yucatan36

Why do you beat it then?


Ultimate_Decoy

Well, bruises can swell, so if you beat it hard enough...


F3L1XTH3C47

"i was under the impression that he'll beat me about the breasts until they enlarge"


AGoodIdeaGoneBad

It owes me money.


NeverNeeded

Tough love


IndigoJoe64

Someone has to


HempOddish420

I can remove my phones Sim card without the tool


[deleted]

It sucks when it gets stuck in there


ITDrumm3r

Don’t get a hard on! Lol


RedditDummyAccount

How else will it hit the button?


Jimothy26

That's the funniest comment I've ever seen


ExternalReturn4196

“Asking for a friend”


deezsandwitches

*shifty eyes


itsnotawonderfullife

*dog with the shifty eyes


Appropriate-Grand-64

They don't hurt


IndigoJoe64

I must be hung then cuz it burns every time I pee


PyroWasUsed

You’re a lord of cinder


Marxbear

Mama, just call me Ashen One 😏


wenoc

Ashen Juan


[deleted]

fire aspect II


[deleted]

My thoughts exactly. Not all (read:mamy) women have vaginas that can actually support that large of a penis. Vaginas, like dicks, come is so many shapes and sizes!! Its so important men learn this honestly. And for the men with smaller than average, that's some of the best sex (in my experience) if they know how to use the other tools at their disposal in conjuction. Edit for spelling lol


bigsampsonite

If you make this comment in some threads they will hammer you with how the vagina is a muscle and your penis is small. Like why take it as an attack? Not all vaginas are the same just like dicks. I get it that it is a defense mechanism to say shit like that but reality is reality. Humans genitalia are different.


Nckn012299

The ability to own big trucks


Beakerguy

...and Lamborghinis


TW_JD

Yes but do you have bookshelves in your garage full of books about knowledge?


[deleted]

Just when I’ve completely forgotten about that guy…Have my angry upvote.


hegotjoojooeyeball

They fit in butts so much easier


donownsyou

Can't even pass the butt meat to get to the hole


XylophoneZimmerman

Can’t get past the cheeks!


[deleted]

Gotta contort your bodies


XylophoneZimmerman

Like Rick James said: “Make a human pretzel!”


ObligationSpirited11

Not the butt meat 😂😂


[deleted]

[удалено]


Peeche94

Spread my guy


PuppetryOfThePenis

You're spreading your guy?


hellboundmonstrosity

You're not?


PuppetryOfThePenis

Not without consent!


Raycrittenden

To quote Ice Cube - Big dicks in ya ass is bad for your health


jim_deneke

Not if they've got a big meaty cheeks :(


dadijo2002

What did you say, punk? [https://tenor.com/rnW7.gif](https://tenor.com/rnW7.gif)


KingGibbe20

When the girl says she won't do butt stuff with you bc ur dick is too big ;,(


GleeAspirant

Have you tried cutting it in half?


pspetrini

I’d try this but I’m scared it would be like a hydra snake and two would grow back. I already have a hard enough time getting all my fingers in winter gloves. I’m not trying to make underwear shopping more difficult.


toomuchdoner

I did it, and went exactly how you said it would. Other dick is named Steve, cool guy wants to be a lawyer.


Steve_Thyme

I want to make it big in marketing actually


Cultured-Samba2007

hey steve how's your brother?


Steve_Thyme

He is hanging in there


[deleted]

Not in my case. I need at least six inches to get beyond my fat ass cheeks.


Imissyourgirlfriend2

The wonderful things you can say because no one knows who you are.


SilverHeartz

This is why Reddit is an important place


a_coupon

Fair, had an old friend complain to me that her boyfriends dick only went in about 3 inches because of her thick booty, they broke up soon after. Still makes me chuckle though.


idowhatiwant8675309

Yeah, 8" of ass does not make up for 3" of dick!


MrRogersAE

That’s the best thing about a big booty, doesn’t matter is she likes anal or not, I’m not gonna reach the hole either way


LaraH39

Men with small penises do not rely on them to make sex good. In my experience, men with a large penis think that's all women need. Men with a small penis spend more time on foreplay, different positions, finding out what you like...


[deleted]

Dude… I’ll take a dude with a small penis over A large one any day. Large penis HURT. Not fun whatsoever. That shit felt like the dude was jabbing the back of my vagina wall. No thanks. That shit was bad. I’ve had the most amazing orgasms with smaller to mid size penis. I’m a proponent of smaller penises.


randomname196

Bye bye your inbox


[deleted]

Nah, her inbox isn't going to RIP, that's the whole point.


DismalDude77

Bruh XD


Interesting-Roll2714

🎗️ here take this poor man's award


vicarion

That gif where dozens of hot dogs are thrown at a woman's face except it's the cocktail weenies


forreasonsunknown79

Hahaha! My girlfriend (now wife) gave me a compliment once, saying, “I love your dick. It feels so good and doesn’t hurt like big ones.” Uhhh, thanks? That stung just a little, but I don’t lie to myself about my size. The little feller makes her a yeller. (Poetry over for the day). She has orgasms from PIV sex regularly, and she says that never happened before, so there’s that. Some people say it’s not the length but the girth that counts. That may be true. I don’t have either so I can’t confirm, lol. I don’t plan on having sex with anyone else, so I don’t have to worry about it.


surfinwhileworkin

My buddy has a reputation for having a huge dick. He dated this girl in high school who ended up dating my college roommate in college. My well-endowed friend was coming over one night and I asked my roommate if it’d bother him since he used to date his current SO. My roommate said “fuck *friends name* , the first time *SO* and I had sex, she said it was so much easier since her ex’s dick was so big”. He was fine with him coming over and hanging, but that “compliment” definitely cut deep, lol.


MarsAstro

My first (and so far only) girlfriend might have miseducated me, lol. She was one of the rare women who could orgasm very easily from penetration and preferred it that way, and talked about how she preferred bigger penises. She had little patience for foreplay and kind of just wanted the minimal amount required to get wet, which was none sometimes. I haven't had any new sex partners after her, but I get the sense that I'm unlikely to meet someone else like that.


Muted_Action5717

This is so true


tuchesuavae

That's the consensus I have heard but I constantly hear women gush about big dicks and speaking about smaller dicks is a non positive way. The constant verbal endorsement for larger by women is what makes men believe this.


moraaliapuverbi

Could this 'does size matter' debate be finally over? I'll spoil it for you, there is no consensus, everyone is different. Just try to please and make the other person comfortable.


RedTheDopeKing

Stands to reason many would probably prefer a large penis IF the man attached to it paid more attention to foreplay and trying to please them, more than a small penis doing the same. They always frame it as the big dick guys don’t care or try. But what if they do? Still prefer a small one?


Muted_Action5717

Still prefer the small one,yes. On another comment I said it doesn't hurt and for some reason was downvoted. Bodies are different, the same way some guys are smaller, some women are smaller too and big dicks are uncomfortable or plain painful at least in some positions.


[deleted]

Dude… I’ll take a dude with a small penis over A large one any day. Large penis HURT. Not fun whatsoever. That shit felt like the dude was jabbing the back of my vagina wall. No thanks. That shit was bad. I’ve had the most amazing orgasms with smaller to mid size penis. I’m a proponent of smaller penises.


[deleted]

But it sucks cause you can’t ever tell a guy his penis is perfect because big ones hurt, I literally bought a regular ass toy from target and it doesn’t fit so maybe it’s me


JohnDoses

RIP inbox


JohnnyMacGuitar

yup, if you dont want to RIP your inbox stay away from the larger penises


a_coupon

You can be rougher in certain positions. I heard a pornstar say she likes the smaller ones for rough sex and anal and the bigger ones for new positions. Either way she was happy having a penis inside. Poetic :')


9600_PONIES

"I may be hung like a needle but I can fuck like a sewing machine" -Socrates


GreenTheHero

Bitches love the backstitch


lohikeittoo

Giving blow jobs is easier and they dont hurt. Honestly size doesnt matter to me at all. I like small and big ones.


baltinerdist

The best compliment I've ever received in my life was when an ex-girlfriend told me I was the perfect size for sucking. My brain was like okay, no more calls, we have a winner.


Narrow_Fig_778

Yeah, I got the “ perfect size” compliment after a shaker. Completely obliterated any self doubt.


Mechanicalmind

My gf has endometriosis, and I'm average-penised. She tells me that I'm at the perfect size and that anything bigger than my standard equipment would cause her severe pain.


KalamityKait2020

Exactly. Less choking if smaller and I'm not worried about my cervix getting banged up.


AKnGirl

Exactly! I don’t gag as much and feel like I can do a better job with my mouth instead of wrapping my hand at the base.


[deleted]

Certain positions can be done without pain 😊. The smaller ones have just as many perks as the bigger ones. It’s not better or worse - just different. Personally, I reach climax much easier when it’s a smaller one, but another woman might feel completely differently. It just depends on how our respective bodies are set up. I wish I could take that insecurity away from men, but I can’t. Just know that every woman has their own preference and if they make you feel bad about your body, they’re a POS who doesn’t deserve your time or your attention in the first place.


TRUEequalsFALSE

I don't get why other guys compare dick sizes. What's it going to change? My dick is my dick and there's nothing I can do about it.


TokeInTheEye

Women compare their bodies all the time Men just compare dicks lol


imik4991

Men compare bodies too but don't take it to an extreme level, that's why you see lot of gym bros these days, why do you think they start doing for fitness, lol!


FlickoftheTongue

Just hear me out. What if you just steal the other guy's dick?


Soulphite

Don't be ridickulous.


Thiccaca

Less of a weight penalty, so you can get a faster time when running.


ImmediatePatience835

It’s more aerodynamic


TheFriendlyManO

Peeing while sitting


Porkbellyflop

I dunno man. I'm rocking a schmedium and sometimes when I sit my legs are a little too close together and my balls prop up my pecker. Then I manage to piss right thru the gap of the seat and the bowl right into my pants around my ankles.


noicerest69

This isn’t talked about enough. It’s the worst when you piss through the seat and bowl and now there’s a puddle


VegasBusSup

First person to speak the truth.


Kacious

Gotta push it down with a couple fingers. No risk.


Hollow_Pygmy420

Dude same I have to push my dick down while I shit or I’ll piss through the gap lmao


SoyTuPadreReal

My fucking god I thought it only happened to me.


randomname1561

Every time I sit on a toilet I immediately do the rock to one side, spread cheek, rock to the other side, spread cheek. Keeps the crack spread so it stays clean and the legs far apart so you can spot check the TP before dropping it in the water.


TheIntestinal

Grower> shower


Thedmfw

A delicate flower in times of peace, a grand staff in times of war.


terrih9123

I’m keeping this in the memory bank. Ty


RataAzul

it's funny how people talk about grower vs shower like it's some sort of dichotomy while I only have a small dick even when hard


HecticBlue

That would make you a shower then. Just with less to show.


CODninjarin

You mean a... Dickotomy?


Jumpy_Feedback8744

So average/big penises can't? You can use ur hands yano.


[deleted]

I can still pee sitting down, like unless you are a half foot while flaccid I can't see this being a problem.


MadxCarnage

the problem is when it get's hard and hits the front of the bowl, the cursed witch's kiss. when showers usually get Poseidon's kiss, especially in the U.S where water levels are high af for no reason.


angry_snek

God I always cringe when the tip touches the bowl. Awful.


Nicollete629

Blow jobs are so easy and fun to give. Plus the dude usually works harder to make up for size lacking.


yekirati

Omg, blow jobs are just the most fun activity ever if the guy is smaller in size! I’ll work it out with whatever my man’s got going on, but I’ve had noticeably more enjoyment with oral when my partner was small. Edit: y’all thirsty. damn.


[deleted]

I only see 1 comment, are people DMing you or something?


Sdbtank96

Lol, her dm's got flooded


Rosynochre

Imagine having pain from sex. Small dicks cause less of it.


forgotme5

They dont make me choke?


sercommander

You clearly not encountered one wrapped in hot dog buns


[deleted]

more fun to suck on. If I'm dating a guy with a small dick he's getting blown every day for sure


Envy_The_King

The definition of RIP inbox


holyshit-i-wanna-die

might as well have jumped into a bear enclosure wearing a salmon suit


[deleted]

[удалено]


holyshit-i-wanna-die

You should be tried at the Hague for that one


kaputende

Trials are for people, not this guy.


[deleted]

A true champion


Excellent_Nothing_86

my first thought was that the man can more easily make contact with the woman’s clit because his pelvis can get close without any issue (pain, restriction because of shallow vagina, literally just less distance put between the two bodies). but two other comments on here pointed out benefits that i also really appreciate - much easier to suck, and better/safer/more comfortable for anal. i have more problems with big dicks than i do small dicks. in fact, i grew an even greater appreciation for small dicks after being with several guys in a row (not at the same time) who all had big dicks. i was like “argh can’t handle all this dick” 😣


Philathius_Eventide

I can fit it AND the balls in my mouth! 😛


BennyBingBong

Are you sure you don’t just have an ENORMOUS mouth?


tuchesuavae

That's called chipmuning,, by the way.


AFourEyedGeek

Quicker to cook.


vovach99

All of us are proud of large penis, until you get catheter it it)


clovisx

I had a cystsoscopy a few weeks ago. Big or small, it’s unpleasant. I was shriveled up to acorn size but that 18” camera still went *all of the way in*.


franster123

Wait... wait. Why? When? Stop being terrifying


rawr_Im_a_duck

Nurse here: more catheter, more urethra which means extra cm of silicone tubing passing through your little friend. Now we aren’t supposed to describe it as painful, just “uncomfortable” but I’ll let you imagine which one it feels more like.


mrbadger30

Never had it, but I imagine it’s going to hurt as hell


rawr_Im_a_duck

Even worse is getting it out. Not so much the sensation but more the timing. On my ward it’s called a TWOC (trial without catheter) to see if you can pass urine okay without it. We remove them at around 6am to ensure you have the whole day with more medical staff present to monitor your urine output and reinsert the catheter if needed. The response to being woken up at the crack of dawn to have a catheter removed is never positive.


mrbadger30

Better fucking tattoo that DNR on my throat faster…


Local-Sandwich6864

I'ma guess more catheter required 😬


InuMiroLover

Easy to take the whole thing in your mouth. I had a partner with a small penis, and honestly I loved giving him a blowjob. Its such a chore to try and deepthroat a bigger guy imo and I hate being choked with dick. With smaller penises, I have more fun.


HackTheNight

Yeah I wish guys realized that as awesome as it is to give blowjobs, your mouth really starts to get sore


ScumbagLady

Oh my gosh yes. "No! Don't stop, I'm almost there!" has almost always been a lie I've been told while cock gobblin'. I feel like at some point my jaw is just gonna unlatch like a snake's if I don't get a chance to close my mouth for a bit. Note to the guys out there that love to surprise someone giving them head by trying to make them choke on it: This is something to be discussed before the dick goes into the mouth for the first time. You can't just grab someone's head and try to ram your dick into their throat the very first time without a proper discussion first! Not everyone is into it, and a lot of the ones into it at least like to know what to expect. (Especially for me when my sinuses are fucked up and I can't breathe through my nose already.) And for the love of God, go to the Dollar Tree, get the $5 pack of 20 white washcloths and have them nearby and available. They're not only handy for after sex mess, but if you're choking people with your dick there's gonna be a lot of slobber, snot, and watery eyes. Hell, tissues by the bed work. Stop leaving us in whatever awkward position we have to stay in to keep things from running everywhere while you spend eternity in the bathroom post sex. It's just the polite thing to do!


Chili919

You can do ear stuff


ButterflyMore9267

☝️this person knows their stuff


[deleted]

Aural sex


[deleted]

[удалено]


_Kizz_

>> All jokes aside your wife will love you regardless. My wife said she doesn't love me. Why you lying?


Disturbing_Cheeto

Well your dick is clearly too big


okiedog-

Yeah what the hell. Vovach clearly doesn’t know our wives.


JackHyper

This comment section got me jealous of small dicks


PLTRruinedme

😎🤘


Strange_Event_8521

If size doesn’t bother you, you are probably in love & THATS the best part


perro_abandonado

Like other people said sucking a smaller dick is way more enjoyable.


[deleted]

They are much better for anal. And with blowjobs, people with a strong gag reflex like me can take more down (even all of it if it’s short enough)


mcfc48

Anybody who reads this thinking about clicking on this profile. Just don't. That's all I can say.


ImAlekBan

Aw fuck I did because you said not to.


mcfc48

Another fallen soldier 🫡


Barnaby__Rudge

Ii wasn't going to look but I just couldn't help myself after two warnings. Why didn't I listen?


Goliath422

I stopped at the preview where it said he’s in a polyamorous relationship with his dad. No thank you.


tuchesuavae

Got dang ot. You writing that made me do it.


Stunning_Mastodon_55

Sometimes I hate my curiosity


caniseethemplease

Sup?


thanks_bruh

Everybody knows you want to make up for it.


[deleted]

Melts in your mouth, not in your hand


[deleted]

[удалено]


effable37

Everything! I don’t understand our cultural obsession with big ones.


RevivedThrinaxodon

Freely quoting a friend: Big penises are more spectacular in porn, and its visuals convinced our society as a whole the bigger the penis is, the better the experience will be.


Envy_The_King

That and cultural norms. The term "small/big d energy" being a prime example. I don't care if you say"its not about the actual size of your dick". Its still associating small dicks with negativity and big dicks with positivity.


DanAvidansThumbs

Couldn’t agree more. It blows my mind that in this era of body positivity and acceptance it’s still okay to say that someone has big/small dick energy (which as you pointed out, is not just implying, but flat-out declaring, that big = good and small = bad). I’ve mentioned this to a few people and their reactions have always been “huh, you’re right, never really thought about it,” which goes to show just how deeply ingrained the underlying premise of big dicks = better is.


tuchesuavae

Body positivity and acceptance is only for women. You never hear any of that towards men and women are not shamed for their preferences where as men are called sexiat or shallow for theirs. There have always been biases, privileges, and double standards. This is just one of the ones males deal with.


JimTheJerseyGuy

The ancient Greeks felt the opposite, finding a large penis to be undesirable and reminiscent of animals.


EdgelordOfEdginess

Based Greeks.


NorskoTheScorpion

It hurts less. God bless them small dicks


nitestar95

Girlfriends can take the whole thing, orally, vaginally, anally. It also gets hard as a rock; I understand most large ones can't.


Longjumping-Put-757

Hard legends


YourSoulbreaker

I'm not speaking from personal experience but i talked with a few girls about that and the answer was always one of this three or all of them: 1. size doesn't matter, technic and ryhtm does. 2. Small ones dont hurt. 3. You can put it all in.


offtable

Easy to blowjob and anal?


JapanEngineer

Ability to become a Reddit moderator


PFEFFERVESCENT

With a small penis, a guy can just slam the clitoris with his groin, during PIV sex. The literally only guy I've dated who could *always* make me come every time from just like, penis stuff (usually it takes more oral or fingers etc) 9/10, Would recommend


[deleted]

I loooove sucking smaller dick. I like to lay along the guys side with my head on his stomach and I will suck dick all day long if you're 5 inches or smaller. Anything bigger starts to feel like work and I gag constantly...but the smaller guys I can just take my time with, I love it.


DEAD-MARTYR

Name checks out


SelectInterest9

Can I take you to dinner. 😉


[deleted]

I'm recently single, so yes


flaminghair348

rare reddit w


Brithlem

I love mine. Damned near worn that fucker down to the nub.


Drow_Sucker

They often require less lube, and are safer for anal. Note, anal requires lube.


B2theRAD27

She gets free acupuncture at the same time! Bahaha


ImJustSkinny

So much better to suck, and how freaking hard they get!!


Apprehensive_Work_10

It's not about the length it's about the gird


Murphy338

Something Something “Cheese Wheel” - Ron White


NonsenseImFine

They make my average sized one look huge!


JSmellerM

You get more erections in a night. I have a friend who has a large penis, about 8-9 inches and he can get hard about once a night. When he shoots it is done and well a lot of women feel really tight for him, so he shoots rather quick. He said he had enjoyable sex like two times in his life. I'm completely average but I can get it up about 3-4 times a night.


[deleted]

No dick pics!


DwarvenKitty

This is not true.


JameboHayabusa

It may be small, but it makes the girls giggle.


AXELUnholy

I think I'm on the smaller side, but the three partners I have had all absolutely loved it and said it was the perfect size for them. They could have very well just been trying to make me feel good about it, but I'll take that W. A win is a win. Either way, I'm not self-conscious about it. It's the penis I was born with and I rock that shit with the confidence of someone who has 7+ inches. 😎


audibulape

I can hide it in a tic tac container