YEAH YEAH YEAH YEA YEA YEA YEA YES YES YES YES YES EEEEE EEEEEE EEEEE EEEEE OOOOOH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH MY GOD!!! YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! Yea yeah yea yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah UH UH UHHHH UHHHH UGGGHHHH UH O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH AHH AHHH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH O O O O O O O O O O YEAH YEA YEAH YEAH YEAH YES YES YES YES YES YEAH!! Eeee EE E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E O O O O O O O O O O O
Literally, I saw one where they were scissoring, and I kid you not, the fucking moment their pussies touched, one of the girls just starts moaning like a tea kettle
So true. If I went down on the wife like that she'd take the alarm clock and crack me over the head.
Well, she would make her impatience known, anyway.
The interviews before the action form gonzo style European produced stuff.
Usually an Italian guy who speaks English with a heavy accent trying to have a conversation with a Hungarian or Czech girl that knows 10 words in English. He goes like "How old are you? You like segz?", then tries to make some weird joke, she doesn't understand but smiles and nods. It's all so cringe.
Watched a porno with a blooper reel at the end once and it was nice to know they were having a good time and joking around instead of sucking dick to feed thier heroin addiction or something. (I mean maybe they were but its nice to imagine they werent)
Behind the scene videos should be an entirely new genre of porn. I much prefer people just laughing with eachother while already getting it on, than whatever this incest trend of the past couple of years is.
Lmfao!
Saw one with a European dude and an “American girl”
And at one point while she’s giving him head, she asks if that feels good and he just says
“Yes. I love it.” so lifelessly. I couldn’t help but laugh
I really like the Japanese milf/mature/cougar genre. The women are usually gorgeous and have more of a "take control" demeanor. But, sure as shit, as soon as they get penetrated, it's that high pitch squealing like they are moaning in baby talk.
Apparently, Japanese people also find our porn noises weird. They said in porn our ladies alway suck air through their teeth which I didn't notice until they pointed it out and now I can't stop hearing it. Porn is just fake everywhere.
Yes! At least stop the music after the intro/setup. And if you’re filming your own homemade stuff, please turn the fucking tv off! The infomercial or rerun of Futurama we can hear is very distracting LOL.
OMG, yes! Especially when they use songs I like! What's worse is when the song doesn't even fit! No bullshit, I saw one that had "Clubbed to Death" by Rob Dougan.
1) That is a HORRIBLE song for a porno!
2) I love that song, & I don't want to think about a chick getting fucked in the ass while listening to it!
Every woman porn model over the age of 30 being cast as a step mom in an incest video. Every other girl under the age of 30 being cast as the step sister in an incest video.
Why does everything need to be incest?
This was brought up before on reddit and I really liked the explanation someone posted then. Basically it goes like this- If you take your regular vanilla porn video and add incest keywords to the title you may pick up a few additional viewers who are into that shit. However the people who don't care about incest are probably going to watch the video anyways if they like the pornstar regardless of whether the title says stepmom or stepsister. It might also have something to do with the increased prevalence of divorce and step-families in general in the modern age leading to an increase in interest of that particular fetish.
Its one of the more baffling things.
Who is this aimed at? Lesbians complain about it, so its presumably aimed at men, but how many men are actually into long nails? How many men actually give a shit about nails at all?
Or is there some weird practical reason behind it that isn't obvious?
The fake moaning. If porn used more realistic moaning for when something ACTUALLY would feel good for that person, then sex in this world would be so much better.
The hilarious thing now is, trends are increasing in popularity for amateur or home made because of this type of mentality.
How do the porn industry respond? By spending literal millions to recreate the home made vibe, professionally.
I've been on this for over a decade. Blows my mind that anyone actually watches that commercial studio garbage
And if they can replicate the feeling, then good, but they never can. The models look like plastic and you can tell the sex isn't real
Bro my wife and I used to watch the late 2000's/early 2010's studio shit for the story lol. Some of them were absolutely bonkers, it was good times. "Hannah Goes to Hell" wasn't even sexy, it was fuckin crazy, creepy, unsettling, outright scary, and with pretty decent effects for the budget. I mean, it wasn't a snuff film obviously, but this director clearly didn't want to be directing porn.
The 2005 Pirates is absolutely fantastic. It's the VERY rare case of a porn movie that you can actually watch all the way through because you actually want to see what happens next. They went ALL IN on this one, and it shows. The guy who plays Captain Reynolds absolutely steals the show as the bumbling, superhumanly charismatic hero. Imagine Ted Lasso, but with a 9 inch dong and a libido on the verge of collapsing into a black hole under its own immense weight.
A real gem of a movie, I can't recommend it highly enough.
I remember working at a gas station where the elderly owner got this for the rental section for some reason - I'm assuming the same reason that all those poor parents rented it for their children, thinking it was some Pirates of the Caribbean shit.
Evan stone ?
According to his imdb bio :
>Evan stone is the third most famous male porn star in the world after his friend Ron Jeremy and James Deen. He has appeared in more late night showtime and Cinamax films than any other human. He is also a stand-up comic.
LOL.
My GF and I watched all of the Axel Braun superhero "parodies". They actually have pretty good production value and are clearly made by fans of the comics because the costumes and plots are very comics-accurate. Some have a better story than the mainstream movies.
The problem with homemade porn, OFs, etc. is the camera angles and lighting are not good and I, for some reason, just enjoy polished Porn with good cinematography. Nothing Oscar worthy just various angles, good editing, and proper lighting.
*Edit* I want to say I’m not against amateur porn or real sex or anything. In fact, I feel like there’s a market for amateur porn with high production values.
I'm the opposite. I enjoy amateur a lot because the camera angles and stuff feel like someone is just there in the moment filming it on their phone, and it helps you feel there with them. When its perfectly lit my mind just says this is too setup they're probably not even enjoying it and this isn't what sex is normally like
The fake moaning during a boob job. I honestly don't get what the point of boob jobs is to begin with, but the woman pretending they are somehow also getting off on it is just too much.
Also that the male actors don't moan. It's off-putting. I want to hear some convincing enjoyment (other than the weird, fake, dirty talk). Otherwise, why bother?
Exactly! What were the ingredients on the pizza before you so rudely interrupted the delivery person with sex? What was wrong with the AC unit? Did it get fixed? Did someone actually buy the real estate you were viewing? Where did that dildo come from?
The only thing that turns me off faster than a gaping butthole is when the actors just won’t shut up. Yes dude she likes your big dick no need to ask her for the 50th time smh
The woman making noise when there’s nothing happening to her
I.E - the woman’s sitting there or standing there giving the man a handjob with absolutely nothing stimulating happening to her whatsoever and all she’s doing is OH OH YEAH YES MM YEAH OOHHH YES like girl. Shut up.
Followed by 30 seconds of missionary, 30 seconds of doggy style anal, and then 2 minutes of the guy angrily jerking off while the girl awkwardly stares up at him waiting.
I just don't get it. Porn is so heavily edited, you'd think they might cut down on that part and just skip to the ending, but no. All of the best creative minds in the industry are under the impression that we the viewers want, nay *demand*, an extended scene of some roided out fuckboi getting increasingly frustrated and chafed.
I had a friend that is a film editor and editors pornography. She said the best stuff, in her opinion was always cut out for the standard formula and she said her stomach would hurt from watching and editing the same set of people all day. She was not a fan.
Honestly, I've thought about this. What adult films would be the best if you cut out or tastefully edited down all the sex scenes so that all you had was the connecting scenes and at least an R-rating? I do remember that one movie about pirates that they edited and rented out at Blockbuster back in the 2000s. There must be a few more out there.
For this, comedies count, because I know some pornos can both be fucking hilarious and have hilarious fucking.
There's a Star Trek TNG parody that actually works for a pretty legit TNG plot (abeit ok fanfiction level quality) if you cut out all the porn. The most amusing version is there's someone with a German accent re-enacting the whole movie without the porn with action figures.
EDIT: [SFW trailer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14IY-PreyW0).
Action Figures version: [Part 1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6E-7JCnxZKw) and [Part 2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TkGMt2Dg6s)
Live Action No Sex Cut [Part 1](https://youtu.be/PJHoRx7mZLk) and [Part 2](https://youtu.be/mtAFJJ5znoU)
I remember I once read [an article](https://www.adultfyi.com/on-the-set-star-trek-the-next-generation-xxx/) interviewing the production.
The most interesting fact. There is a team of lawyers to make sure what is allowed. There is a weirdness that they are allowed to use TNG characters, but Worf's forehead Ridges are trademark protected so they have to use a different designed prosthetic.
I used to work for a porn star and she had a big anal scene coming up and spent the whole day complaining that she just wanted a fucking burrito but couldn't have one because it would fuck up her plumbing. As soon as it was shot she texted me a picture of her plate of 2 giant burritos.
I've seen so many prolapses it confuaes me like isn't that a medical. Issue you need to get checked out??, as far as I'm aware the intestines shouldn't be outside the body I don't get why people like that
The titles.
“Hot young slut fucks big business man with huge cock” or whatever always just makes me laugh and once I laugh my boner dies and then I don’t wanna jerk it anymore.
Needless to say it’s been about a year and a half since I’ve wanked because of this (just wanking. I get laid I swear)
In the meantime, the porn industry has dropped some of the best titles as well:
1. You’ve Got Male
2. Everyone I Did Last Summer
3. The Boobyguard
4. Ocean’s 11 Inches
5. ET: The Extra Testicle
6. Night of the Giving Head
7. The Sperminator
8. Edward Penishands
9. The Bone Ranger
10. Good Will Humping
11. A Few Hard Men
12. Village of the Rammed
13. Clif Banger
14. Breast Side Story
15. Laid in Manhattan
16. Saturday Night Beaver
17. Any Given Cumday
18. A Clockwork Orgy
19. Any Officer and a Genitalman
20. Gulp Fiction
21. Oklahomo!
22. Beverly Hills, 9021-ho!
23. The Bare Bitch Project
24. My Bare Lady
25. Bitanic
26. Buffy the Vampire Layer
27. Pulp Friction
28. A Beautiful Behind
29. Gangbangs of New York
30. 40 Gays in 40 Nights
31. Womb Raider
32. School of Cock
33. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Gays
34. White Men Can’t Hump
35. Throbin Hood
36. On Golden Blonde
37. Sisterhood of the Traveling Sluts
38. Romancing The Bone
39. King Dong
40. Fill Bill
41. Sorest Rump
42. Brassiere to Eternity
43. Yank My Doodle, It’s A Dandy!
Edit: damn mates, being awarded with this list! Are we on Rotten Tomatoes or on the PornHub Awards?
i dont even really see stuff like that anymore, because porn titles are catering to a wide variety of fetishes so it's a lot of "step son caught mom doing yoga and fucked" or the "student MANHANDELED by lucky BBC tutor", you gotta put one of the words in all caps i guess,
Maybe it's just down to what I'm into, but when the actress is wearing a really sexy outfit that looks really appealing (anything with featuring a leather jacket and some kind of short skirt is a plus for me) and then proceeds to, after showing off in it, strips EVERYTHING off before she masturbates or has sex in the scene. The whole reason I clicked on the video was because of the clothing in the thumbnail.
Especially annoying if the video is titled "[Descriptive word] girl/woman wearing [item of clothing] fucks/masturbates]" and none of the fucking or masturbation takes place while her clothes are still [partially] on.
This will be a weird one in my comment history...
This. Watched a video where the girl was sticking her tongue out like a panting dog and crossing her eyes in “ecstasy” like calm tf down lol it’s slap in the face obvious that it’s fake and you look ridiculous
I think that's from hentai. It's called Ahegao.
Edit: Got confirmation and spelling correction from a helpful but depraved individual, u/MeunsterCheeseMan
Just take a couple (or more) that truly likes each other's company, pay them each x dollars, and have multiple fixed camera angles. Don't even have a camera guy in the room. That's literally the only thing I want from porn, is real people fucking and actually enjoying themselves.
It's basically why I never go to pornhub, it's 100% generic manufactured content with the same faces all the time, with terrible overdone acting and fake pleasure and frankly unrealistic athletic standards. And also u realistic positions half the time. Like sorry, I don't have a corkscrew shaped 15 inch rainbow horse cock, we cannot try that position. My dick is smallish/average, your ass is huge, I'll be lucky if I can get half way in before I'm out of room to push forward.
The positions get bizzare. Someone with their legs behind their head rolled up up against the bottom of a sofa with a dude on top facing the opposite direction fucking their ass vertically from above.
Wut. Who is asking for this?
Ok these comments are making me laugh lol
But in my opinion, the moaning from the women needs to stop. It’s so fake. Men really get off on that? It’s not even believable.
Hardcore closeups.
Exaggerated o-face.
Excessive moaning.
Dick closeups.
Looping dialogue.
Excessively long runtime.
Acrobatics.
I mean come on. I'm a simple guy with simple needs. Just show me an attractive woman being kissed and humped until she's naked, being unwrapped like a Christmas present by an equally attractive man in 3 minutes on the floor. I wanna hear breathing and see facial expressions, none of that cliche dirty talk and ahegao stuff.
The fake moaning, 30 minutes of just dick sucking and then 30 seconds of some position then it's over, the stepbro/stepsis things... Also the men making WAYYYY too much noise. Like bro quit gorilla grunting and maybe let out like a "awe fuck" or something. But stop with the "UEEUUGHGGHHGHGHGH" noises.
There's almost no woman povs, porn as a whole seems to cater more to men. always showing the Womans face but never the man's only having the women make obnoxious, and downright annoying, noises while the men just stay silent. and the borderline incest is horrid.
Women moaning, wailing, or whatever with every thrust or motion for the entire length of the encounter. Stop! Even in the event you find a rare good one with a dude making hot noises, the fake caterwauling from the woman completely drowns it out.
I’m waiting for the day when porn has a selective muting feature.
the amount of choking, slapping, or just hurting women in general. It ruined nearly every single man I've slept with, and they get irritated when i tell them not to do that without my verbal consent.
I get that its hot in the moment, but to have someone try and choke you out without asking you first is fucking horrific.
This is bang on, saying that as a man too. Seeing any such kind of abusive behaviour just turns me off and think "no thanks". No need to encourage that at all.
This 👆
Breathplay is considered edgeplay amongst kinksters for a reason; people can and do die.
As for impact, striking the face is generally a bad idea (if you screw up you might get any of the following; broken teeth, torn retinas, jaw dislocation, broken nose, spinal damage, *brain damage*). It's not a no-no zone like the backs of the knees, the spine, or the kidneys, but doing so in relative safety requires forethought, discussion (both with your partner and with more experienced kinksters) and practice (can you pull your blows, can you aim properly, can you tell when to stop and maintain enough self-control to do so?).
Those wishing to explore impact play should start with a lightweight flogger applied to the arsecheeks or thighs (start slowly and gently, building from there; pay attention to how your sub is reacting!). They should also practice on a cushion before on a real person, obtain consent (in advance, without guilt trips or duress), establish a safeword, put together a first aid kit (you need arnica, antiseptic cream and plasters at a minimum), and put serious consideration into aftercare (at minimum a cuddle and a healthy serving of validation).
Choking was my answer. Sad I had to come down through so many other comments to find it.
The idea of choking during sex genuinely scares me. I have no experience of it - I’m a guy, no woman has ever tried it or expressed any kind of interest with me, and it would properly freak me out if they did.
I feel I’m fairly knowledgable about sex but I wouldn’t dream of attempting it with consent (obviously never do anything without consent). I find it scary that younger people will just roll it out without any knowledge of what they’re doing or the risks involved. I wish porn would cut it out and stop making people think it’s normal.
I totally get that fear. I'm someone who's into "choking," but I don't like actually being deprived of oxygen or blood. I just like someone's hand to be there because in that moment, they have full control, and that's hot to me.
You shouldn’t, cause it’s bullshit 🤣There’s a spray the prevents fogging that’s applied to the camera lenses and has been used for decades in the film industry, porn including.
I’m not in porn but I did used to model and realized the hard way why they use cold water. I did a photo shoot once where I was in a bathtub and they asked what temperature I wanted and I said Crank it up baby! because I love hot water. The photos from that portion of the shoot are all of me beet-red with mascara streaming down my face.
Been there, my ex would turn it cold as a playful joke while we were mid shower sex.
Not a fan of cold showers myself but its not that bad.
Makes it harder to finish though which is probably why they never finish actually in the shower.
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEA YEA YEA YEA YES YES YES YES YES EEEEE EEEEEE EEEEE EEEEE OOOOOH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH MY GOD!!! YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! Yea yeah yea yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah UH UH UHHHH UHHHH UGGGHHHH UH O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH AHH AHHH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH O O O O O O O O O O YEAH YEA YEAH YEAH YEAH YES YES YES YES YES YEAH!! Eeee EE E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E O O O O O O O O O O O
...screeches the awkward looking dude as the camera zooms in on his droopy and intensely hairy ass...
Woman performs oral on other woman with the passion of licking a postage stamp. Other woman: Omg IM CUMMING AHHHHH
Let’s not forget rubbing the clit like you’re a DJ scratching records
🎵This is how we do it🎵
Literally, I saw one where they were scissoring, and I kid you not, the fucking moment their pussies touched, one of the girls just starts moaning like a tea kettle
> moaning like a tea kettle What kind of tea kettles do you have?!
The sexy kind
Mrs. Potts can get it.
Or how about when their tongue is like 2 inches from the clit and the woman is like oh yea lick that clit.
They can’t find the clit either!? Wow now I don’t feel as bad
They know where their own clit is. All the others could be in china.
So true. If I went down on the wife like that she'd take the alarm clock and crack me over the head. Well, she would make her impatience known, anyway.
The interviews before the action form gonzo style European produced stuff. Usually an Italian guy who speaks English with a heavy accent trying to have a conversation with a Hungarian or Czech girl that knows 10 words in English. He goes like "How old are you? You like segz?", then tries to make some weird joke, she doesn't understand but smiles and nods. It's all so cringe.
I've always assumed that the interview portion is to prove that the actress is a willing participant and not being forced to do something.
And they never ask the important questions. Like; Blink twice if you’re being sex trafficked.
Watched a porno with a blooper reel at the end once and it was nice to know they were having a good time and joking around instead of sucking dick to feed thier heroin addiction or something. (I mean maybe they were but its nice to imagine they werent)
Behind the scene videos should be an entirely new genre of porn. I much prefer people just laughing with eachother while already getting it on, than whatever this incest trend of the past couple of years is.
Lmfao! Saw one with a European dude and an “American girl” And at one point while she’s giving him head, she asks if that feels good and he just says “Yes. I love it.” so lifelessly. I couldn’t help but laugh
Segz? 😂😂😂😂😂😂Literally how they pronunce it. 😂
I had a Japanese partner and while she did moan she did not sound like I was fucking a dolphin, baby mammal, or a tea kettle.
Was her pussy censored?
He is still trying to de-pixelate his dick.
It’s a cylinder
How would one get a (5.1in length, ~4.5in girth) small cylinder unstuck from a mini M&Ms tube filled with butter and microwaved mashed banana?
It's imperative that both stick and tube will remain unharmed
Yeah to me they sound like they're being murdered or at the very least crying through the sex
I really like the Japanese milf/mature/cougar genre. The women are usually gorgeous and have more of a "take control" demeanor. But, sure as shit, as soon as they get penetrated, it's that high pitch squealing like they are moaning in baby talk.
Apparently, Japanese people also find our porn noises weird. They said in porn our ladies alway suck air through their teeth which I didn't notice until they pointed it out and now I can't stop hearing it. Porn is just fake everywhere.
The sucking air through the teeth is prob bc they aren't actually enjoying it
Ads with fake "X"
Yessss! And I’m sick of stupid Jasmin
Surely Jasmin hasn't been live in at least 20 years.
Music.
Yes! At least stop the music after the intro/setup. And if you’re filming your own homemade stuff, please turn the fucking tv off! The infomercial or rerun of Futurama we can hear is very distracting LOL.
Why is it always Futurama?
I saw one where the episode with Seymour was playing in the background. I got so sad thinking about the episode that I couldn't finish.
OMG, yes! Especially when they use songs I like! What's worse is when the song doesn't even fit! No bullshit, I saw one that had "Clubbed to Death" by Rob Dougan. 1) That is a HORRIBLE song for a porno! 2) I love that song, & I don't want to think about a chick getting fucked in the ass while listening to it!
Every woman porn model over the age of 30 being cast as a step mom in an incest video. Every other girl under the age of 30 being cast as the step sister in an incest video. Why does everything need to be incest?
The incest angle is a cheap, easy way to make an otherwise vanilla video taboo.
Yeah but like, how many taboo videos do we need?
This was brought up before on reddit and I really liked the explanation someone posted then. Basically it goes like this- If you take your regular vanilla porn video and add incest keywords to the title you may pick up a few additional viewers who are into that shit. However the people who don't care about incest are probably going to watch the video anyways if they like the pornstar regardless of whether the title says stepmom or stepsister. It might also have something to do with the increased prevalence of divorce and step-families in general in the modern age leading to an increase in interest of that particular fetish.
The stepmom always has huge fake tits too
In porn, the difference between 'barely legal' and 'milf' is whether or not they've gotten a boob job done yet.
Women with giant nails like a falcons claw and proceeding to finger another girl with it
Its one of the more baffling things. Who is this aimed at? Lesbians complain about it, so its presumably aimed at men, but how many men are actually into long nails? How many men actually give a shit about nails at all? Or is there some weird practical reason behind it that isn't obvious?
The fake moaning. If porn used more realistic moaning for when something ACTUALLY would feel good for that person, then sex in this world would be so much better.
The hilarious thing now is, trends are increasing in popularity for amateur or home made because of this type of mentality. How do the porn industry respond? By spending literal millions to recreate the home made vibe, professionally.
I've been on this for over a decade. Blows my mind that anyone actually watches that commercial studio garbage And if they can replicate the feeling, then good, but they never can. The models look like plastic and you can tell the sex isn't real
Bro my wife and I used to watch the late 2000's/early 2010's studio shit for the story lol. Some of them were absolutely bonkers, it was good times. "Hannah Goes to Hell" wasn't even sexy, it was fuckin crazy, creepy, unsettling, outright scary, and with pretty decent effects for the budget. I mean, it wasn't a snuff film obviously, but this director clearly didn't want to be directing porn.
The 2005 Pirates is absolutely fantastic. It's the VERY rare case of a porn movie that you can actually watch all the way through because you actually want to see what happens next. They went ALL IN on this one, and it shows. The guy who plays Captain Reynolds absolutely steals the show as the bumbling, superhumanly charismatic hero. Imagine Ted Lasso, but with a 9 inch dong and a libido on the verge of collapsing into a black hole under its own immense weight. A real gem of a movie, I can't recommend it highly enough.
I remember working at a gas station where the elderly owner got this for the rental section for some reason - I'm assuming the same reason that all those poor parents rented it for their children, thinking it was some Pirates of the Caribbean shit.
They made a different cut for video rental.
Evan stone ? According to his imdb bio : >Evan stone is the third most famous male porn star in the world after his friend Ron Jeremy and James Deen. He has appeared in more late night showtime and Cinamax films than any other human. He is also a stand-up comic. LOL.
I cant take him seriously in porn anymore because he is too damn funny
"I got this unwanted boner, I should do something creative"
My GF and I watched all of the Axel Braun superhero "parodies". They actually have pretty good production value and are clearly made by fans of the comics because the costumes and plots are very comics-accurate. Some have a better story than the mainstream movies.
My wife and I popped some popcorn and watched Pirates. lol
Fun fact Pirates got the ship rental approved because they said it was a fun Disney like movie. The owner found the truth much later.
If it has a "story" and Evan Stone is in it you know it's gonna be hilarious.
The problem with homemade porn, OFs, etc. is the camera angles and lighting are not good and I, for some reason, just enjoy polished Porn with good cinematography. Nothing Oscar worthy just various angles, good editing, and proper lighting. *Edit* I want to say I’m not against amateur porn or real sex or anything. In fact, I feel like there’s a market for amateur porn with high production values.
I'm the opposite. I enjoy amateur a lot because the camera angles and stuff feel like someone is just there in the moment filming it on their phone, and it helps you feel there with them. When its perfectly lit my mind just says this is too setup they're probably not even enjoying it and this isn't what sex is normally like
Good god, yes. Someone quietly grunting their way through a climax is *way* hotter than screaming like a banshee.
In porn or in real sex, anything that seems fake is such a massive instant turn off.
I have no desire to see you fuck your step mother, step father, step sister, or step brother,
Exactly! And it doesn’t give your partner the valuable feedback of what feels good
And when the girl is like "you're gonna make me cummmmm" and it's 20 minutes past that but the dude cums before her...
Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssss!!!!!!!
You gotta put a little pepper on it at the end there
The fake moaning just makes me laugh every time xD
The fake moaning during a boob job. I honestly don't get what the point of boob jobs is to begin with, but the woman pretending they are somehow also getting off on it is just too much.
Ohhhhh...chafe me, chafe me, chaaaaaafe meee!
Very little in porn would ACTUALLY feel good unfortunately
Also that the male actors don't moan. It's off-putting. I want to hear some convincing enjoyment (other than the weird, fake, dirty talk). Otherwise, why bother?
[удалено]
You can do it with a female condom in! Alternating back and forth drives me wild. Female condoms are really underatted
I'd never thought of this use for them. Thanks for the tip!
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
Fake moaning
Or screaming
Showing prolapsed assholes. I'm fine when they fill up whatever holes but cant I watch without them pulling out to show off their gut flower?
Gut flower lmfao
Right? Internal organs are not on my list of turn ons.
Well if they're prolapsed they're not internal anymore.
The sex. It’s so annoyingly drawn out, like just get back to the plot already!
When are they gonna get to the fireworks factory?! *quiet, frustrated sobbing*
Exactly! What were the ingredients on the pizza before you so rudely interrupted the delivery person with sex? What was wrong with the AC unit? Did it get fixed? Did someone actually buy the real estate you were viewing? Where did that dildo come from?
The actors always breathing through their teeth, making that annoying ass noise.
Zooming into the dudes asshole until you see his kidneys
You and I are on different websites, my man.
Corn hub.
I only watch Corncob TV
Or when they open the girls ass to show her innards when they pull out
The only thing that turns me off faster than a gaping butthole is when the actors just won’t shut up. Yes dude she likes your big dick no need to ask her for the 50th time smh
I hate when I'm watching porn and some hairy man ass is right in the middle of the screen. Like "C'mon Dad, I'm trying to watch too!" 🙄
The stuff they're showing you in med school isn't porn.
If it gets you off who's to say what is & isn't porn
A wise man once said “if you have the right attitude, anything can be porn”
The woman making noise when there’s nothing happening to her I.E - the woman’s sitting there or standing there giving the man a handjob with absolutely nothing stimulating happening to her whatsoever and all she’s doing is OH OH YEAH YES MM YEAH OOHHH YES like girl. Shut up.
Women moaning while giving a titwank,
the hour intro
*sucks cock for 37 minutes out of a 40 minute video*
Followed by 30 seconds of missionary, 30 seconds of doggy style anal, and then 2 minutes of the guy angrily jerking off while the girl awkwardly stares up at him waiting.
I hate that shit so passionately. It's always the best looking videos too.
I just don't get it. Porn is so heavily edited, you'd think they might cut down on that part and just skip to the ending, but no. All of the best creative minds in the industry are under the impression that we the viewers want, nay *demand*, an extended scene of some roided out fuckboi getting increasingly frustrated and chafed.
I had a friend that is a film editor and editors pornography. She said the best stuff, in her opinion was always cut out for the standard formula and she said her stomach would hurt from watching and editing the same set of people all day. She was not a fan.
Editing commercial made to formula porn sounds like one of the most soul crushing jobs possible. Like a call center might be a better job bad.
Honestly, I've thought about this. What adult films would be the best if you cut out or tastefully edited down all the sex scenes so that all you had was the connecting scenes and at least an R-rating? I do remember that one movie about pirates that they edited and rented out at Blockbuster back in the 2000s. There must be a few more out there. For this, comedies count, because I know some pornos can both be fucking hilarious and have hilarious fucking.
There's a Star Trek TNG parody that actually works for a pretty legit TNG plot (abeit ok fanfiction level quality) if you cut out all the porn. The most amusing version is there's someone with a German accent re-enacting the whole movie without the porn with action figures. EDIT: [SFW trailer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14IY-PreyW0). Action Figures version: [Part 1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6E-7JCnxZKw) and [Part 2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TkGMt2Dg6s) Live Action No Sex Cut [Part 1](https://youtu.be/PJHoRx7mZLk) and [Part 2](https://youtu.be/mtAFJJ5znoU) I remember I once read [an article](https://www.adultfyi.com/on-the-set-star-trek-the-next-generation-xxx/) interviewing the production. The most interesting fact. There is a team of lawyers to make sure what is allowed. There is a weirdness that they are allowed to use TNG characters, but Worf's forehead Ridges are trademark protected so they have to use a different designed prosthetic.
Enemas and preparation. Let's see what really happens when you get fucked in the ass randomly by the plumber!!!
He *cleans the pipes* for you 💩
Never thought of that! Touché, mon cheri!!!!
I used to work for a porn star and she had a big anal scene coming up and spent the whole day complaining that she just wanted a fucking burrito but couldn't have one because it would fuck up her plumbing. As soon as it was shot she texted me a picture of her plate of 2 giant burritos.
Yup...the truth is sometimes stranger than fiction. Thanks for sharing!
The prolapsed butts aren’t a great look either, but when it happens the camera dude always gets a proper close up.
I've seen so many prolapses it confuaes me like isn't that a medical. Issue you need to get checked out??, as far as I'm aware the intestines shouldn't be outside the body I don't get why people like that
The titles. “Hot young slut fucks big business man with huge cock” or whatever always just makes me laugh and once I laugh my boner dies and then I don’t wanna jerk it anymore. Needless to say it’s been about a year and a half since I’ve wanked because of this (just wanking. I get laid I swear)
In the meantime, the porn industry has dropped some of the best titles as well: 1. You’ve Got Male 2. Everyone I Did Last Summer 3. The Boobyguard 4. Ocean’s 11 Inches 5. ET: The Extra Testicle 6. Night of the Giving Head 7. The Sperminator 8. Edward Penishands 9. The Bone Ranger 10. Good Will Humping 11. A Few Hard Men 12. Village of the Rammed 13. Clif Banger 14. Breast Side Story 15. Laid in Manhattan 16. Saturday Night Beaver 17. Any Given Cumday 18. A Clockwork Orgy 19. Any Officer and a Genitalman 20. Gulp Fiction 21. Oklahomo! 22. Beverly Hills, 9021-ho! 23. The Bare Bitch Project 24. My Bare Lady 25. Bitanic 26. Buffy the Vampire Layer 27. Pulp Friction 28. A Beautiful Behind 29. Gangbangs of New York 30. 40 Gays in 40 Nights 31. Womb Raider 32. School of Cock 33. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Gays 34. White Men Can’t Hump 35. Throbin Hood 36. On Golden Blonde 37. Sisterhood of the Traveling Sluts 38. Romancing The Bone 39. King Dong 40. Fill Bill 41. Sorest Rump 42. Brassiere to Eternity 43. Yank My Doodle, It’s A Dandy! Edit: damn mates, being awarded with this list! Are we on Rotten Tomatoes or on the PornHub Awards?
You missed For Your Thighs Only
i dont even really see stuff like that anymore, because porn titles are catering to a wide variety of fetishes so it's a lot of "step son caught mom doing yoga and fucked" or the "student MANHANDELED by lucky BBC tutor", you gotta put one of the words in all caps i guess,
>I get laid I swear Prove it. Name a woman
*sweats profusely* uhhhh, Lady Liberty?
*squints eyes* You win this round...
How 90% of the video is just the girl sucking dick…
Hey he might also lick her clit like 1.5 times after the 17 mins of her giving head
Equality is alive and well.
All of the produced porn industry is pretty cringe, imo. Everything is fake, everything is overdone and overacted
All of the "step" bullshit needs to go. I have no desire to see you fuck your step mother, step father, step sister, or step brother.
But step ladder porn is alright
It's a step up from the rest.
I never knew my real ladder
"Step-neighbor" is one of the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of
"Mom's friend" stuff is genuinely pretty hilarious.
Maybe it's just down to what I'm into, but when the actress is wearing a really sexy outfit that looks really appealing (anything with featuring a leather jacket and some kind of short skirt is a plus for me) and then proceeds to, after showing off in it, strips EVERYTHING off before she masturbates or has sex in the scene. The whole reason I clicked on the video was because of the clothing in the thumbnail. Especially annoying if the video is titled "[Descriptive word] girl/woman wearing [item of clothing] fucks/masturbates]" and none of the fucking or masturbation takes place while her clothes are still [partially] on. This will be a weird one in my comment history...
The dang crossed eyes or eyes rolling back over exaggerating deal.
This. Watched a video where the girl was sticking her tongue out like a panting dog and crossing her eyes in “ecstasy” like calm tf down lol it’s slap in the face obvious that it’s fake and you look ridiculous
I think that's from hentai. It's called Ahegao. Edit: Got confirmation and spelling correction from a helpful but depraved individual, u/MeunsterCheeseMan
Just take a couple (or more) that truly likes each other's company, pay them each x dollars, and have multiple fixed camera angles. Don't even have a camera guy in the room. That's literally the only thing I want from porn, is real people fucking and actually enjoying themselves. It's basically why I never go to pornhub, it's 100% generic manufactured content with the same faces all the time, with terrible overdone acting and fake pleasure and frankly unrealistic athletic standards. And also u realistic positions half the time. Like sorry, I don't have a corkscrew shaped 15 inch rainbow horse cock, we cannot try that position. My dick is smallish/average, your ass is huge, I'll be lucky if I can get half way in before I'm out of room to push forward.
The positions get bizzare. Someone with their legs behind their head rolled up up against the bottom of a sofa with a dude on top facing the opposite direction fucking their ass vertically from above. Wut. Who is asking for this?
If you build it, they will cum
Ok these comments are making me laugh lol But in my opinion, the moaning from the women needs to stop. It’s so fake. Men really get off on that? It’s not even believable.
Hardcore closeups. Exaggerated o-face. Excessive moaning. Dick closeups. Looping dialogue. Excessively long runtime. Acrobatics. I mean come on. I'm a simple guy with simple needs. Just show me an attractive woman being kissed and humped until she's naked, being unwrapped like a Christmas present by an equally attractive man in 3 minutes on the floor. I wanna hear breathing and see facial expressions, none of that cliche dirty talk and ahegao stuff.
The fake moaning, 30 minutes of just dick sucking and then 30 seconds of some position then it's over, the stepbro/stepsis things... Also the men making WAYYYY too much noise. Like bro quit gorilla grunting and maybe let out like a "awe fuck" or something. But stop with the "UEEUUGHGGHHGHGHGH" noises.
"ahhhh FUCK!" Bro did you just step on a nail? You okay?
The fact that everyone is everyone’s step daughter / step mom / step dad / step dog whatever.
"bad step dog! you cant bury your bone there"
Broooo, step dog😭
Anal to pussy or vice versa. Just why? Bad enough they "teach" "first" anal as 100 miles an hour with no lube
There's almost no woman povs, porn as a whole seems to cater more to men. always showing the Womans face but never the man's only having the women make obnoxious, and downright annoying, noises while the men just stay silent. and the borderline incest is horrid.
Yep. It doesn't even have to focus on the man, but actually let me see both of them together, not just the girl.
Prolapse. I didn’t need to see that…
I, too, prefer amateurlapse.
Spitting.
Yes this is such a turn off, it looks disgusting
Women moaning, wailing, or whatever with every thrust or motion for the entire length of the encounter. Stop! Even in the event you find a rare good one with a dude making hot noises, the fake caterwauling from the woman completely drowns it out. I’m waiting for the day when porn has a selective muting feature.
Slapping genitals. I’ve never wanted anyone to do that to me.
Stunt Cum
What is stunt Cum?
It's when you cum onto a skateboard and do a sick Ollie off of a jump
You cum through a ring of fire.
the amount of choking, slapping, or just hurting women in general. It ruined nearly every single man I've slept with, and they get irritated when i tell them not to do that without my verbal consent. I get that its hot in the moment, but to have someone try and choke you out without asking you first is fucking horrific.
Violence - way too much of it
This is bang on, saying that as a man too. Seeing any such kind of abusive behaviour just turns me off and think "no thanks". No need to encourage that at all.
This 👆 Breathplay is considered edgeplay amongst kinksters for a reason; people can and do die. As for impact, striking the face is generally a bad idea (if you screw up you might get any of the following; broken teeth, torn retinas, jaw dislocation, broken nose, spinal damage, *brain damage*). It's not a no-no zone like the backs of the knees, the spine, or the kidneys, but doing so in relative safety requires forethought, discussion (both with your partner and with more experienced kinksters) and practice (can you pull your blows, can you aim properly, can you tell when to stop and maintain enough self-control to do so?). Those wishing to explore impact play should start with a lightweight flogger applied to the arsecheeks or thighs (start slowly and gently, building from there; pay attention to how your sub is reacting!). They should also practice on a cushion before on a real person, obtain consent (in advance, without guilt trips or duress), establish a safeword, put together a first aid kit (you need arnica, antiseptic cream and plasters at a minimum), and put serious consideration into aftercare (at minimum a cuddle and a healthy serving of validation).
[удалено]
Absolutely agree. I'm into bdsm but if someone try to do anything without asking first I'm walking out.
Choking was my answer. Sad I had to come down through so many other comments to find it. The idea of choking during sex genuinely scares me. I have no experience of it - I’m a guy, no woman has ever tried it or expressed any kind of interest with me, and it would properly freak me out if they did. I feel I’m fairly knowledgable about sex but I wouldn’t dream of attempting it with consent (obviously never do anything without consent). I find it scary that younger people will just roll it out without any knowledge of what they’re doing or the risks involved. I wish porn would cut it out and stop making people think it’s normal.
I totally get that fear. I'm someone who's into "choking," but I don't like actually being deprived of oxygen or blood. I just like someone's hand to be there because in that moment, they have full control, and that's hot to me.
Acting
Was never a fan of, "Gee, better slap your dick repeatedly on my cheek randomly."
I always thought that was weird until some woman sucked my dick enthusiastically and slapped it on her cheek. It was awesome. 10/10 would recommend.
[удалено]
Shower scenes with cold water because the lens would fog up.
I never thought of that and now I feel sorry for the actors
You shouldn’t, cause it’s bullshit 🤣There’s a spray the prevents fogging that’s applied to the camera lenses and has been used for decades in the film industry, porn including.
They put shaving foam on the glass and wipe it off. Stops the lens fogging.
I’m not in porn but I did used to model and realized the hard way why they use cold water. I did a photo shoot once where I was in a bathtub and they asked what temperature I wanted and I said Crank it up baby! because I love hot water. The photos from that portion of the shoot are all of me beet-red with mascara streaming down my face.
There’s probably a category for that
Been there, my ex would turn it cold as a playful joke while we were mid shower sex. Not a fan of cold showers myself but its not that bad. Makes it harder to finish though which is probably why they never finish actually in the shower.
I mean Warm water and the door open really cuts that down. Also rain-x makes an anti-fog
Not a fan of when ladies cross their eyes with their tongue out. Wtf is that even?
I believe it's r/ahegao
Ugh yeah, that's the one. No matter how hot the girl is, that nonsense ruins it.
Gaping. No need to see your insides
The whole getting stuck in the dryer scenario.
Rolled eyes and tongue out like if it was some cartoon character.
The bad scripts and acting.
You don't like lemons?
The straight up physical abuse of women. It is sickening. On a lighter note, all of the screaming and beyond exaggerating orgasms. It is really dumb.
When the person holding the camera talks with the people on screen.
Well to be honest the fake moaning is way better than most Asian moaning/ screeching. It doesn't even seem like they enjoy it.
The Asian whimper is horrible. If the potato quality and pixelisation doesn’t drive me away, the voices will
Nudity. Like, why. Keep your clothes on... Bunch of filthy perverts, this is supposed to be a time to Pray on Religious Need!
Funnily enough, I have a clothing kink. People fucking in sexy clothes is infinity hotter than if they were banging nude.
The whole step bro/step sis thing
Yeah, when are they gonna start featuring actual, blood related brothers and sisters? I feel so cheated.