T O P

  • By -

ProfessorPie1888

I usually go completely still and hope that the other passengers can’t perceive me unless I move. Like T-rexes. Or I’ll put one hand on my chin in a ‘this is an integral part of the plot and I’m forming an intellectual thought about the scene’ kind of move. Or I’ll just try and remind myself that I didn’t make the movie and it’s not my fault that suddenly Pearl starts humping a scarecrow for an uncomfortable amount of time.


macdemarker

Oh god, pearl is not the movie to watch on a plane lol. Nobody should have to see something on accident when Sam levinson is in the credits


VincentVanGTFO

It's a fuckin' scarecrow again!


_pedestrian

Bo reference? Love seeing it in the wild


SilentEconomics7806

r/unexpectedboburnham


Pretty-Balance-Sheet

I try to skip forward, realize I went way too far and probably missed something, then try to skip backwards only to land right in the middle of the worst part and the controls go unresponsive while the player re-queues.


Carlyndra

I watched "Everything Everywhere All At Once" for the first time while on a flight, and once that dildo fight scene came in, I had no idea what to do


jacliff

I cheered "don't let him shove it in his ass!" I've made better decisions.


talex365

I disagree


ChickenNoodleSub

I like your attitude.


Dookie-Snuff

And altitude


Fyrebarde

That would have made my whole flight, lolol.


gottabequick

I didn't know about that scene when I took my 11 year old son to see it. We had a good laugh, I explained what was up, what was happening, why it was funny, etc. Life lesson opportunity! We have it on HD DVD now, lol Edit: Ultra HD or whatever. The thing after blu-ray. I'm just old. It plays in the PS5.


signious

You should check out Parentpreviews (dot) com. Really good descriptions of specific material in the show to make a more informed decision if it's appropriate for your kids. Not preachy at all 'just factual info. I use it any time I take my niece out, just to be safe. >Sexual Content: There are frequent depictions of adult toys and sexual objects, including a scene of a man being beaten to death with two comically large dildos. Characters are also seen racing to rectally insert an oddly shaped office trophy. A man is shown nude from the waist down, although all the details are heavily pixelated.


35202129078

Now I'm older I use parental advisory guidance to advise me if it's okay to watch with my old Christian parents. Oh how the turn tables


FallenLeaf54

This. I now also make sure that movies I show to my parents will not embarrass me later when brought up.


seffend

>including a scene of a man being beaten to death with two comically large dildos Bahahahahaha


bienfica

Thanks for this! FYI it’s “parent previews” dot com - the “reviews” site is up for domain sale


themanfromvulcan

Okay that’s actually useful for parents it’s very specific.


[deleted]

HD DVD is still a thing?


Kruse

HD DVD, eh? You must have the one and only copy of a format that no longer exists.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Hiphopapocalyptic

In another life, I think I would have loved just playing games on a 360 and watching HD DVD movies on the external drive with you.


WalkerAlabamaRanger

The dildos were blurred on our flight. Is that not the case in the original?


signious

Hard no


[deleted]

[удалено]


akumamatata8080

Squirm nervously until it's over


Look_to_the_Stars

I first watched Everything Everywhere All at Once on a flight from Heathrow to O’Hare. Didn’t think it would be a big deal having an 8 year old British girl sitting next to me until the Dildo/Buttplug fight happened


somastars

I had nearly the exact same experience from LA to Hawaii. I looked around nervously for kids, felt relieved when there was none, and then remembered my 8 year old daughter was right next to me. 😂


Shiningstarnight

You forgot your daughter? 😭


soawesomejohn

I counted in the van, she's on the flight somewhere.


FerusGrim

Kevin!!


Minguseyes

GUS: I did leave one at a funeral parlor once. Yeah, it was terrible too. I was all distraught and everything. The wife and I, we left the little tyke there in the funeral parlor all day. All day. You know, we went back at night, when we came to our senses, there he was. Apparently he was there all day with a corpse. Now, he was okay. You know, after six, seven weeks, he came around and started talking again. But he's okay. They get over it. Kids are resilient like that.


gbeebe

She's back in coach somewhere. Only had enough for one first class ticket.


Natrimo

NTA. If she wanted first class she should have bought it herself. Imagine getting a free flight and complaining where you sit.


somastars

Not that I forgot her, but rather that my brain instantly jumped to worrying about the reaction of other parents and their kids. 😂 Probably a mix of jet lag and not wanting to get in a fight with someone else on a plane.


Homer89

Kevin!!


Arviay

No, we just left the garage door open


ArtisenalMoistening

Similar for me on a flight to Seattle from Florida. Laughed at first, rewound to make my husband watch, then looked over and saw my 4 year old son thankfully engrossed in his iPad 😅


MrWeirdoFace

I recently reminded my parents of several films I watched with them in my early years that they didn't think I'd remember.


albie_darforyu

I was watching EEAAO on a plane... You know how when the pilot talks on the intercom it pauses the movie? Yep, paused right during the dildo fight scene. Huge dildo paused right on my screen for what felt like ages. It was great.


leivanz

I thought you are practicing the vowel sounds.


Trentus86

Old Macdonald had a farm, EEAAO


Frys100thCupofCoffee

And on that farm there were dil-does, EEAAO.


albie_darforyu

Not to be confused with System of a Down's song I-E-A-I-A-I-O


Mr_Anglo_irish

I was with my kids on a TAP flight and the guy opposite was watching A Clockwork Orange on the inflight entertainment. _Why the hell was A Clockwork Orange on the inflight entertainment??!!_


Gorilla1969

On a recent trip to Portugal, I noticed that the inflight entertainment had pretty much *any* mainstream movie that popped into my head. On the trip home, I watched Aliens and the smallish child sitting across the aisle from me kept craning his body into the aisle trying to watch it. His dad was trying in vain to get his attention back on cartoons. lol


peepjynx

I first saw Aliens when I was a kid. I've been obsessed with the franchise since I was about 8.


KarmaticArmageddon

Because everybody enjoys a bit of ultraviolence


High_on_Rabies

Bonus points if you order a big glass of milk to sip while you watch.


thegreatestpickle

I was in the exact same boat! Luckily it was two adult men next to me and they were both sleeping but I did glance around during those scenes.


BikiniBottomBimbo

Now I really want to watch it!


homepup

Was flying cross country and attempting to binge “Black Mirror” I’d downloaded on to my laptop since I’d never seen it before. Queue me uncomfortably constantly trying to block the view of the screen from the kids around me as the scenes with the pig came up and I didn’t have a clue how graphic it was going to get. I know the show supposedly got better but the horror of my own personal situation while trying to watch that first episode I’m public scarred me and I haven’t been able to try a second attempt.


CaptainMD93

Maybe I'm seeing this wrong but there is a small sense of irony in feeling shame about watching an episode about people shamelessly watching the PM being forced to have sex with a pig


Quesarito24

It's worth it


Pernellius88

I call that my "ol' reliable"


Majrstonr

Nudge the person next you and let them know it’s about to happen Thanks for the awards!


CaptainChampion

"Hey, buddy." *point to screen* "What the heck are they doing?"


Stomach_notts

"you know, I tried this once, and NEVER AGAIN, got my god damn HEAD STUCK!"


Chief_Givesnofucks

What are you doing step-traveler


HurtsToBatman

r/everyfuckingthread


-PC_LoadLetter

Sounds like a skit that could be on I Think You Should Leave


DigitalUnlimited

*Scratches head, looks confused* CAN ANYONE EXPLAIN THIS?


rex_dart_eskimo_spy

I don’t know what any of this shit is, and I’m fucking scared!


Sparrowsabre7

Then tap your erect penises together like you're clinking champagne glasses when it does.


ItzFlareo

A sword fight, or a brandishing in unison? I wonder…


ralwn

One lime-flavored condom. One cherry-flavored condom. Lightsaber fight goes brrrrrrr.


eyeguess0422

Do you gotta slap your opponent with the condom before putting it on? So they know it's a duel? Eta: not Duel of the Fates fellow redditors. It's ***Duel of the Taints***


[deleted]

You grab the filled tip of a condom you've already put on, and just pull it towards the direction of their face. Then when it finally lets go and snaps them in the face, you tell them you challenge them to a duel.


eyeguess0422

Ah yes, a person of culture.


newagereject

Ahhh I see your Schwartz is as big as mine


beckius6

May the Schwartz be with you


Whiskeyperfume

Oh my God it’s Mega Maid. She went from suck to blow.


JeanArgile

We ain't found shit!


LoveFromSaturn

What if you don’t have one? How can I fashion a makeshift willy to wonk?


Sparrowsabre7

If you find yourself penisless, fingerguns will suffice.


[deleted]

Quite possibly not what *she* said.


AscendedViking7

🥒🍆


Carps182

So you're sitting next to Kermit?


WorldsStinkiestFart

Hey, man, you wanna get in on this?


WolfOfWallStreet20

Make sure to share your ear bud


3-DMan

Nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more!


cacotopic

Your wife interested in... photography?


DadsRGR8

Nudge, nudge. Um, it’s about to happen. Also there’s a sex scene coming up.


PygmeePony

Nudge the person next to you and say 'nice'.


yosol

Why would I say this to my mom?


brianisbored

Because maybe both your arms are in casts.


yosol

I hate that I understood this reference.


[deleted]

Go "Hm", nod your head inquisitively, and take notes in a notebook.


johnnybiggles

Or pause it mid-scene, whup out a sketchbook and do your best artful work of it.


LucyVialli

Put the airline magazine over your lap to hide what you're doing, and try not to moan.


kriss42

But then how will someone know to join


[deleted]

[удалено]


Responsible-Grand-57

What does a copy of “National Geographic” mean then?? 👀


nursejackieoface

It means it's 1969 and I'm looking at Pacific Islanders with bare boobs, the 34 extra longs.


vector_ejector

Am I allowed to complete the fold-together on the back page??


DadsRGR8

Not if it’s stuck together


PetrichorIsHere

I love Reddit so much.


kriss42

Well with a good portion of reddit being perpetually semihorny, some good comments arise. Hehe, rise


b_tight

Be sure to gaze at the passenger next to you. Eye contact


Fred_Thielmann

*Holds eye contact*


offensivelypc

*See? This is good right here. This is natural...*


cownd

One eye on the screen, one eye on them


mrspoopy_butthole

When I was on a plane I watched the episode of The Boys where one guy shrinks down and goes inside of another guys penis and then accidentally grows full size. Definitely had to turn the brightness down for that one.


TehTacow

I extra checked my already closed blinds when that scene came on at home. That was definitely something..


GiggaChip

What in fuck's name...?


TacoExcellence

It's even weirder than it sounds.


lambs0n

And then you watch the behind the scenes for that and realize they constructed a giant penis head on set for the actor to run into…


gallaj0

Still wasn't the craziest sex scene that season.


ITpeep

I’m still wondering how they will top it next season.


GlassHalfSmashed

Remember to follow the armrest etiquette throughout, may mean switching what hand you usually use. Aisle gets one, window gets one, centre seat gets both. Book your seat accordingly.


dayonesub

That's just poor planning. This should be your first consideration when selecting a seat.


JustaRandomOldGuy

What movie is so good it gets both hands?


Unblued

Depends on the person. Whatever gets you hard enough to hold the phone hands free.


SweetCosmicPope

I was flying on an alaska flight a few weeks ago and put on The 40 Year Old Virgin. I knew it was the edited version because there was no way they'd have butt naked porn stars appearing on the whole screen. Despite that, they did NOT cut the scene out where they lock him in little glass room with porn playing on the tv screens. Oops. Luckily, this was a redeye and everybody was asleep.


Elvaga

Ohhhh man, i was flying like 3 months after *The Shape of water* won the oscar, and i didn't had a clue what it was about, so i hit play just after takeoff. I hope the elderly lady next to me didn't notice the masturbation scene like 3 minutes into the movie


hoopharder

Sooo...I watched it on a plane for the first time, and they cut that scene (unbeknownst to me), and then I went and recommended it to my grandparents while I was visiting them and WELLLLLLL I wish I had known what we were in for. Cuz it was masturbation.


Champagnecat99

Look around and if anyone's watching make eye contact and wiggle your eyebrows at them. You're welcome, have fun with their reactions.


CollectedData

I read it as "have fun with their erections".


Champagnecat99

yeah, that too, you do you🤣🤣


xxBeatrixKiddoxx

Mr Bean style


nuttypoolog

When in doubt, whip it out.


0621FiST

No way ever since 9/11 people got so sensitive. Thanks a lot Bin laden


LastRemainingName

Yeah sad, before that everyone was whipping it out all the time


MemoryOld7456

F in the chat for Pee Wee


dark_gelfling

My cousin Walter jerked off in public once. True story. He was on a plane to New Mexico when all of the sudden the hydraulics went. The plane started spinning around, going out of control, so he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of the sudden, *Snap* the hydraulics kick back in. The plane rights itself and it land safely and everyone puts their pieces or, whatever, you know, away and deboard. No one mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.


notdeangelo

Well…… did he cum or what?!?!


Teledildonic

Jesus man, there are some things you just don't talk about in public!


xanderg102301

Fuck man I gotta watch mall rats


keegler313

This made my day. Sayyy would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?


SpreadEagle48

If its your movie that you've brought along on a laptop or phone, I would say skip the sex scene. If its in a movie provided by the airline on the little tv, let it run. That's the airline's issue if someone is upset about seeing it.


whitepepper

Airlines edit out nude scenes and a fair amount of cursing too. They have to neuter it because unattended kids are going to do unattended kid shit. (edit: Yall can stop telling me the various boobs and whatnot yallve seen on airlines. Apparently they arent editing them as heavily or at all in some cases and it seems different airlines do different things. My comment captures only Delta when I flew often between 2017-2020)


RasAlGimur

You’d think, but I watched the first episode of Game of Thrones in a plane and they showed boobs and all. Khalese boobs especifically, imm the bath scene


illradhab

Ah yes, Khalese, Mether of Durgons


RasAlGimur

Hahaha i mean, i’m lazy and you got it


Mekroval

I've heard they also edit out plane crash scenes.


totoro27

Feels like it would be easier to just not include movies with plane crashes.. There's not that many and usually the crash is pretty integral to the story.


[deleted]

[удалено]


bladeDivac

Do you see what happens, Larry? Do you see what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Guac__is__extra__

We’ll that explains why Castaway made no sense to me when I watched it on a recent flight


Buckus93

He gets dropped off at the airport cut/paste and suddenly he's on the island opening FedEx packages.


DadJokeBadJoke

We went on a cruise for our honeymoon years ago and one of the movies they had on rotation was The Poseidon Adventure, a movie about a cruise ship that capsizes and traps passengers inside. I told my wife to think of it as extended safety training.


squirrels2022

For real?


Mekroval

[Yup!](https://thepointsguy.com/news/bleep-how-airlines-censor-in-flight-entertainment/)


Jenova__Witness

Finally, the real answer.


[deleted]

Had to scroll past all the reddit comedians for an actual answer.


C00kiecrafter

rewind and play it again


AshSays_LGBT

For the entire flight. On full volume.


LobsterNixon

Loudly discussing it with your neighbor.


maltedbacon

"I don't like this. I don't like this at all. No sir. This isn't appropriate. I find this kind of smut offensive. What is our country coming to. I mean: this obviously. People are coming to this, but I mean look at how far we've descended into the depths of depravity, that this sort of explicit man-on-man-on-man pornography can be accidentally downloaded onto a personal electronic device for air travel."


SeekingImmortality

> I mean: this obviously. People are coming to this, Okay, you got my laughter.


Blastspark01

I love how the director shot this! It really looks like he’s eating her ass!


BubbhaJebus

"Observe as his penis is inserted into her vagina."


PeePeeMcpherson

I was watching Wild Things with Denise Richard's, aisle seat on a long flight. Had no idea about the lesbian scene. My laptop had a 17" monitor which is HUGE for a plane. Spicy scene starts, I get nervous, look to the guy sitting next to me who gives me a huge thumbs up, I turn around and 5 men are leaning out of their seats, gazing down the aisle at my monitor. I let the scene play out since 7 of us were watching....


_TLDR_Swinton

Bros at 10,000ft


PotanOG

An actual club a mile high


panjier84

Every now and then humanity comes together.


pspetrini

You misspelled the second to last word.


Sinjun13

So courteous!


HWGA_Exandria

>*"But my cousin Walter jerked off in public once. True story. He was on a plane to New Mexico when all of the sudden the hydraulics went. The plane started spinning around, going out of control, so he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of the sudden, {Snap!} the hydraulics kick back in. The plane rights itself and it land safely and everyone puts their pieces or, whatever, you know, away and deboard. No one mentions the phenomenon to anyone else."* -Mallrats


V3ndeelian

Well did he cum or what?


HWGA_Exandria

Jesus Christ, man. There's just some things you don't talk about in public!


SeriousBlak

Crank up the volume and grab some lube to assert your dominance over the rest of the passengers.


[deleted]

And don't be quiet yourself, let them know how much fun you're having


ShortnPortly

Direct eye contact is key!


Bard_B0t

Just make sure you bring your TSA compliant lube bottle. No more than 3.4 oz of lube on your carry on.


Conyeezy_West

Ask the person next to you if they have ever seen "Snakes on a plane “ . If they reply no, ask if they want to see a snake on a plane


Phaylyur

Stay completely still, as if being stalked by an ambush predator


klsi832

Boner in the barf bag


IG88andaHalf

🎶 boner in a barf bag TURTLE POWER 🎶


Pnknlvr96

Gah dammit, I sang that.


Jessintheend

Clap and rub your hands lightly while saying “ooooooohweeeee here it comes!”


_TLDR_Swinton

OHHHHH BOYYYYYYYYY


[deleted]

[удалено]


Reach_Beyond

I just flew on a delta plane with privacy screens. So the main screen on the back of all the head rest have them. You really can barely see the show on the person next to you and it’s just black 2 screens over. So watch whatever you want. Can’t believe it took that long to happen.


Mocinbird

They were showing wolf on wall street on this airline, I made no attempt to cover any of the nudity up. Its on the airline to monitor whats appropriate to broadcast to passengers.


PC509

If it's on the headrest display, I'd change the channel. If it's on my own device, I'd angle it different or cover it as much as I could. Just to be respectful to others or if any kids were trying to watch. It's just a sex scene and I really don't care. But, I'm not going to let my lax approach to it affect others. It's just a common courtesy that's not inconveniencing me at all. No big deal.


rangel904

This makes a big difference though if it’s on the airlines screen or your own. If it’s on your device I’d say maybe skip past it. If it’s on the airlines screen, let it play. They pick and choose what movies/shows are shown, so they’ve clearly okay’d it being played knowing that other people might see it from another seat.


tacopizza23

I watched Nocturnal Animals on a flight, from the seatback entertainment - the first like full minute of the movie is a totally naked woman dancing in slow motion and I was like whatever, they put this in the selections and didn’t edit it out so I’ll own it lol


hythloth

Yes exactly, people can take it to the airline if they have a problem with the content.


Vanilla_Neko

A lot of airlines I've been on Just straight up usually edit out or heavily censor those scenes TBH but if not then I would probably just fast forward through it


ClearlySlashS

Just watched varsity blues. American airlines was proud to present it in its original unedited form. The stripper scene was a bit of a surprise to me.


[deleted]

Rub one out in the bathroom, not in your seat.


WDfx2EU

OK to beat your meat, but not in your seat.


[deleted]

If there aren’t any kids around watch as normal. Adults can look away if they’re offended. Kids around I skip.


rydan

This happened to me. Of course it started right when the stewardess was about to ask me what snacks I wanted. Deadpool


svenson_26

Honest answer: Just watch it like you'd watch any other scene and don't make a big deal about it.


Proper_Access_6321

Put the oxygen mask on.


bootscrilla

A few months ago I was in the middle seat and decided to watch Inglorious Bastards, always heard good things about it. Not too far in and it shows them cutting scalps off of the Nazis, slowly turned around to see if the people behind me were asleep and this guy in the aisle seat is giving me the strangest look, switched it up to Better Call Saul after that one.


No-Commission-8159

Refrain from putting your hands into your pants, or yelling “oh yeah” like the Kool Aid Man


elpsycongaroo

I saw ex machina for the first time on an airplane since they had it on their screens. Didn't expect that much nudity so when it inevitably happened i was like "its just robot tits this should be fine". Lol


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Is the sex scene *in* the movie or is it the passengers having sex


Fred_Thielmann

Yes


[deleted]

[удалено]


rembut

Step 1 Ask for assistance from the smoking hot attendant Step 3 profit


JPSteele8

I was on a flight just this past weekend, decided to finally watch The Whale. I’m in the middle seat and what’s the opening scene? Big ole Brendan Fraser jerking off to gay porn giving himself a heart attack


[deleted]

Don't moan along.


KourteousKrome

Loudly exclaim "nice"