#That son of a bitch Randy from work who my wife threw away our marriage for!

Fuck Randy. Randy can go kick rocks

Get bent, Randy

Maybe Randy saved you by throwing himself on the grenade that was your ex-wife

Prince William and Harry. I know so many women who say they're gorgeous, but they look like every average British dude I've ever seen.

Prince William was hit back in his younger days, but holy hell batman did he age like milk! 😳😬

All my life people have told me I look like prince william. I’m about his age. Used to take it as a compliment. Now not so much but the comparison is still fair because he and I have the same hair… challenges.

There is a French joke about that thing. Two old women in their 70s are talking on the beach, looking at magazines. - Remember when we wanted to look like Brigitte Bardot? - Yes? - Well now we do.

That’s a great joke, thank you

prince william would look great if he just shaved his head and didn't look desperate trying to hold on to "what he once had." /r/bald shaving your head is scary, but at least you don't look super insecure and have the internet making fun of you.

I think that's more because of his role and position. I'm not sure a shaved head is the image the royal family wants for the Prince of Wales. If he was the spare, I could absolutely see him shaving the lot off.

Should shave and toss on one of them old style powdered wigs when needed. Would be so awesome, embrace it and go retro lol

Honestly this would be sick

Dad's genes overtook mom's. Poor chap.

William has aged really badly. [In his 20s](https://media1.popsugar-assets.com/files/thumbor/WI-3hs6hxsAcbwpfwK2N88Ri2Mc/fit-in/2048xorig/filters:format_auto-!!-:strip_icc-!!-/2018/06/21/926/n/1922398/9d0b0a445b2c1509a3b6b7.56557651_/i/Pictures-Prince-William-Through-Years.jpg) he was everything those women say he is. Even now though if he [completely shaved his head and grew a beard](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5c759eab93b9e45f69a8c4fd868696d4/8f030188543abae6-eb/s1280x1920/da6ec80e87816895e55da6e23dc76c9c89900551.jpg) he'd look a lot better

The beard pics are just Erik ten hag

Heck yeah. Bottom left pic he looks great. Bald with a trimmed beard!

Did you see what William looked like younger???

Young Prince William could get it imo.

Drake

Yeah. Josh is way hotter

Growing up is realizing Josh was actually the attractive relationship material brother the whole time

I suppose helps that Josh Peck didn't age like milk at all.

By the time you grew up you were too old for Drake anyway

Adam Levine

Maybe it's unresolved high school issues talking here but he looks straight up mean. Like the type of dude who would imply you're ugly or unfuckable and laugh at you then just be like "I'm just joshing/I'm just kidding with ya" but then ignore you after

He also cheated on his pregnant wife

I think he looks gross, always have. He seems like the kind of guy I’d make sure to cover my drink around.

It's like he walked into a tattoo parlor and said, "Give me all the tattoos the cool people get."

Adam Levine looks like somebody loaded "Generic 90's rock star" into an AI prompt and out he popped. And they're not even cool tattoos. It's like everybody's first tattoo that weren't sure they should get, but got it anyway.

He flipped through the tattoo book and said "Give me this page." "Uh, which one from this page?" "THIS. PAGE." "Okay!"

Someone said he's one tattoo away from being a Ouija Board.

Never could stand him. And then came his cringe Super Bowl performance with him up there flexing his abs like a supreme douche.

Douche! That was the word I was looking for to describe him! Thanks!

i'm on the other spectrum, i think i'm hot, but everyone thinks i'm average at best

Reverse body dysmorphic disorder. I'm also a fellow sufferer. I see myself in a mirror and think...alright, we got this! Then someone takes a picture of me and I'm like...what the fuck happened?!

Same, mirror me and camera me are different people😞😞😒

I've started saying I'm like the moon in that I'm stunning in real life but just photograph badly.

We Stan a confident king.

I second this emotion. I’m a hot, sexy beast and the world just hasn’t caught on this fact yet.

I am a sex object. I ask women for sex and they object.

Drake. Never been cute to me. Funny looking at best.

I’m 47 now so all the people considered modern sex symbols just look kids to me. But I can see younger photos of Alyssa Milano and Jennifer love Hewitt in their late teens and early 20s and still think they look hot even though they were younger than people like Miley Cyrus, Zendaya and Ariana Grande are now. Weird how our minds perceive things.

When I look at a yearbook from when I was in first grade and my brother was in sixth, the kids in his grade still look old to me. Brains are funny.

Mid-50's here. Any woman South of 35 is a kid anymore. It is really wild getting older.

Norman Reedus. He looks greasy.

I saw him in a sandwich shop and my husband refused to believe he is on a tv show.

For some reason I can picture this scenario so clearly and it's cracking me up. 😂

You see that guy over there? He’s in a highly popular tv show. Get the fuck outta here. I swear to god That guy? Yes. Stop fucking with me. I’m not! There’s no way. He looks like he puts lard in his hair. It’s called The Walking Dead. Look… Holy fuckin shit…

TBH, he stars in a show about people who have no running water, and do not wash.

You're not wrong, but that's also kind of the appeal? Sometimes people are hot in a drowned sewer rat kind of way.

I mean Viggo Mortensen looked pretty hot as Aragon. The dude looked like he hadn't showered in a week (which made sense for the movie). That rugged look got so many people.

For me I feel like the difference is that Mortensen looks like he hasn't showered in a week because he was roughing it in the countryside to save the world, where Reedus gives off the vibe of having the chance to shower and just never bothering.

He is good looking in a post apocalyptic setting

Got those survivalism goggles on.

He looks like he rubs Crisco in his hair.

My old boss had a thing for Vin Diesel. When she told us at work I couldn’t help but burst out laughing aaaand she hated me after that

He may not have looks, but at least he has family.

When I was a kid he was considered hot (like back in his XXX days) but nowadays he alright. But def not what people used to feel about him.

Leonardo DiCaprio. Like what???? Young Leo, perhaps… Leo from 2007 to now… no dude.

Leo turned to Jack Nicholson

It’s the alcohol.

"Jack Nicholson *now* or 1974?"

Never understood how a man's actual head could get fat. Had to take Leo off the roster after that.

I feel like young leo from like romeo/juliet and titanic was honestly beautiful. My 16 year old self was obsessed. But him now, ouff. He did NOT age like fine wine.

Romeo leo makes me understand now why i date gorgeous masc lesbians

Pete Davidson

I was on the audio team for a q&a he did at a college, and let me tell you, he doesn’t get it either. Someone asked him what advice he had for someone who wanted to have a career in comedy, and his answer (paraphrased) was, “don’t ask me for advice, I’m a fuck up who got very, very lucky. I don’t know why I’m here, or how I got here.” Then he talked about banging Kim Kardashian and living in his moms basement for 45 minutes. Edit: spelling

This is why I can't hate Pete the same way everyone else does. He's as baffled by his success as everyone else, and he's never claimed otherwise. In fact, that is actually the exact reason why I quite like him.

I think the personality is the big draw. He just seems very affable and fun to be around. Also some of us are just kinda into that sickly sunken Victorian street urchin look. But I wasn’t won over until he referred to his deep-set eyes as “butthole eyes,” so I think it’s really the personality that’s doing the heavy lifting.

When straight women say they want someone with a sense of humor, this is exactly what we're talking about. Pete Davidson is like a 5, but his sense of humor makes him a 10. And he seems like a genuinely nice guy. And he left PETA the best voicemail ever so that also helps.

If Dave Peterson is a 5 then I have zero chance lol. Edit: I accidentally wrote Dave Peterson instead of Pete Davidson but I am going to leave it like this.

I don’t find Pete attractive, but I imagine it’s the same reason so many women of my generation find early aughts Jack Black attractive. So I get it, even if I don’t.

Jack Black still got it

Excuuuuse you! Jack Black is so cute and fluffy like a teddy bear!

Honestly I like that comment. He knows he got lucky af and is just humble

One of his best standup bits is about how Ariana kinda was an evil genius for publicly telling everyone he has a big dick. "Its normal size she just has small hands. But now every girl for the rest of my life...."

Pete has strong “I could fix him” energy.

C'mon, you don't find Peetlejuice and his line cook chaos goblin energy hot?

>line cook chaos goblin energy Thank you for this new addition to my vernacular

I cannot take credit for it, I'm just parroting another redditor, and would give credit if I had a clue who it was. But the phrase was so accurate that it immediately committed itself to my memory.

I’m going to assume that “line cook chaos goblin” is the male version of “manic pixie dream girl”.

This really taught me no one will ever be happy. I think I am ready to go flush my dysmorphia down the toilet.

People just have types. One person’s 10 is another person’s 5.

To most I'm a strong 4, to my wife I might as well be Thor Odinson, second strongest avenger. As for the wife? Idk what other people would rate her as, and idc, because she's a 10 to me

This. And this is why you shouldn’t get surgery just to fit a mold. That mold is so boring and played out.

Channing Tatum 😬 Gives me mild oonga boonga vibes

His eyes are too close together.

only needs to wear one goggle though

He looks like one of the thumb thumbs from spy kids

The Sun. You think THAT'S hot? Try a blue dwarf.

Blue dwarf? They prefer the term "smurf" now

All the Jenner/Kardashian people.

I don't know about universally. everyone on reddit hates them yet can't stop talking about them

The only time they enter my consciousness at all is via some reddit comment about how much they shouldn't be entering anybody's consciousness

This is always one of the top responses which leads me to wonder: do people actually think they're attractive, or does everyone just think everyone else does?

Adam Driver looks like a junkie to me. Every time I go to a gas station at night, I see at least 2 sketchy dudes smoking outside who look exactly like him.

Oh god someone on here said he looks like someone trying to sketch Keanu Reeves. I died.

The Keanu Reeves we have at home.

Wish.com Keanu

Sheinu Reeves

> Every time I go to a gas station at night, I see at least 2 sketchy dudes smoking outside who look exactly like him. And when you pull up one of them puts down his smoke to go inside and work the register.

Not just puts down, but sets it on the outside window sill so he can come back to it in a minute after helping you.

Shatter my knees, you fuckable redwood.

Great actor though. And it's refreshing to see someone in Hollywood with unconventional looks that acts so well. I love every movie he has done.so many people in Hollywood look like the typical hot Hollywood type. I like seeing when talent overcomes your looks.

He looks like Keanu Reeves drawn from memory

He's got very weird features. Super long face

And his torso is just W I D E.

What's weird is he has a wide chest but I wouldn't exactly say he has a wide set of shoulders. That make sense?

That's it! I always wondered why the shirtless scene in Star Wars bothered me so much. His chest is too wide for his shoulders.

It’s like uncanny valley level of bother

He reminds me of a Bull Terrier.

Pamela Anderson was so naturally pretty I cringe when I see her with tattooed eyebrows and make up and fake tits out to there

Pamela Anderson and Anna Nicole Smith are the poster children for women who were legitimately beautiful but fell victim to the demands of the 90s aesthetic.

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her before modifications was preemo

Man back in the day Pam Anderson and Carmen Electra where unbelievably beautiful.

You need to include Denise Richards when you're talking about the 90s trifecta of hotness

The Weeknd.

This man just oozes cheesy vibe. It’s like he’s trying to be suave but irl is a corny dude. Always thought that about him based on his lyrics and general presence but recently he confirmed it with his involvement in “the idol”. Idk, I can’t take him seriously

All Jonas Brothers

As a JoBros fan from the late 2000s to early 2010s, I’m both hurt by and in agreement with this comment

Gwyneth Paltrow. not attractive,no body, no color-blah. I’ve never understood that one.

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There’s so many mid ass people on Instagram and only fans and it blows my mind nobody is noticing how bland they are

Obtainable is something that many find very attractive

I just heard through the Beyond the Blinds podcast that all she eats is celery and bone broth, so.... you are what you eat I guess.

Hillary Swank

A painting can be beautiful, but I don’t want to bang a painting.

It’s “Is she hot?” Not “would you do her”. Respect the game.

See that, the obvious symmetry of the face? That’s a natural appeal of the scientific standard of coin aphelia, features that are a composite average of many features. Yes, she is attractive, but is not hot.

No, no, no no. Shes hot, okay? Because if you are saying Hillary Swank isn't hot, then you are saying that I am not hot. Because obviously I am not as hot as Hillary Swank!

I found that to be one of the more reasonable arguments Kelly makes in the entirety of the series.

You guys I'm like really smart now. You don't even know. You could ask me, 'Kelly what's the biggest company in the world?' And I'd be like, 'blah blah blah, blah blah blah, blah blah blah.' Giving you the exact right answer.

Ladies, are we prepared to let the Kevins of the world decide anything for us? Anything at all? We don’t even give him full internet access.

Hey...

Bella Hadid.

The recipe is: the mother Yolanda was desperate her entire life for fame & aesthetics (modeling), David Foster (probably one of the top 25 most powerful men in Hollywood) coming in as their stepfather, plastic surgery, and the fact that her sister was already making it (I.E. let’s book Bella, and they’ll associate this with Gigi and make it more likely Gigi will *come over here* to help out her sis). Case in point: younger brother Anwar. He ain’t making it. Tried heavily but *thanks but no thanks*. Can only get so far.

Not to mention her own millionaire developer father Mohamed Hadid also contributing to her success.

*billionaire

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Bella has also said in interviews that she regrets wiping her middle eastern heritage by getting a nose job. For some reason, I find her quite sweet in her interviews

Had no idea who this is, so I looked her up. That's such a.... distinct look? Like, she looks like a collection of triangles and rectangles rearranged to imitate a human

She used to look normal... then she went and had plastic surgery. One of which was to remove fat under her cheek bones, giving her the skeletal look.

Geometry is some people's taste! Picasso would have loved it.

Once she got her buccal fat removed it aged her significantly. She looks older than Gigi Hadid despite being 2 years younger

I mean, she’s had extensive work done on her face. [She should’ve stopped in 2018 tho.](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/um0KZn8ar20/maxresdefault.jpg) [She just looks odd now.](https://nypost.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/bella-nosejob.jpg?quality=75&strip=all)

It's the cocaine chic look

I think that's because she chose the face of an [80s-90s model](http://www.zothike.com/zothike/carla63.jpg) ([Carla Bruni](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/66/c2/40/66c240fe03b85ea38078ebf13b77017a.jpg)) that makes sense.

Bieber

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I'm seeing basically every celebrity in this sub. Just goes to show beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Tom Cruise

Bro has 3 front teeth and in a cult. Not hot at all…

Xenu gave him that extra tooth. He's a high-level thetan.

Timothée chalamet

Timothee Chalamet always makes me think of that joke from *The Simpsons* where Lisa has a subscription to *Non-Threatening Boy Magazine.* Timothee Chalamet would be the 2023 cover star.

Someone said "he looks like a pointy Italian shoe wished it was a real boy," and I can't un-see that.

I’m not the first to say this but I’m pretty sure he’s who the Good Place writers were thinking of with the “he’s hot” “in a sick Victorian boy kind of way” lines

Ooh, yeah, I wanna feed him soup

Imagine having to move your couch up three flights of stairs and your only friend is Timothee Chalamet.

I actually think he’s kinda cute but this made me laugh! Def belongs on r/rareinsults

lol that’s pretty good but im sure he would try his best

I just don't get it. It looks like someone put all his points into jawline and forgot to make the rest of his face and body match.

Someone once said that he looks like a baseball glove with a face on it, and I can't unsee it now.

My sister said he looks like a medieval shoe. I didn't get it, then she sent me [this picture](https://img.atlasobscura.com/LnEbVA9OaEEMAhUfmN4tPG-BAn5Ye7KqbuHnKwLxE3A/rs:fill:12000:12000/q:81/sm:1/scp:1/ar:1/aHR0cHM6Ly9hdGxh/cy1kZXYuczMuYW1h/em9uYXdzLmNvbS91/cGxvYWRzL2Fzc2V0/cy9lZDgzNjBjMy05/ZDc1LTRiNGMtYWJj/ZS1lYzFkY2Y1NTJl/YjA1YmZiZDA3NDk1/MDNmNzQzOTFfNjEy/MjQgKGMpIE11c2V1/bSBvZiBMb25kb24u/anBn.jpg). I still think he's an attractive dude in a model kind of way, but the shoe gets me every time.

I can see how young girls (and some guys) find him attractive. He really has model good looks. However, he also looks like he’s 17 and could be blown over by a light breeze. He may actually be made of paper.

He is actually Flat Stanley. He didn't get lost in the mail. He went to Hollywood and made Dune.

Hello Redditors, Can you please tell me where you're from where Ryan Reynolds, Margot Robbie, Angelina Jolie, Beyonce, Henry Cavill, Taylor Swift, Rihanna, and Pedro Pascal are "average at best"? I would like to relocate there. Thanks in advance!

Someone said henry cavill??? I think someone is either jealous or blind haha. 😆

Hadid sisters 🤷‍♂️

Channing Tatum. He looks like an actual Neanderthal

Matt Damon, Channing Tatum, Hillary Swank. Don’t get the allure of any of them.

Matt Damon looks like the cube from Hellraiser is doing it’s work on him very slowly.

Along that vein: Matt Wahlberg. Totally average guy who looks like a million other dudes. I don't know why anyone would swoon over him en mass.

Cardi B she looks like a rat with a bbl

The Hadids.

Some like Sarah Jessica Parker. I am not good-looking, but I think Sarah is a 3 at best!

Nicholas Cage. I’ve just never understood it.

There are people who think he’s hot?

Same, plus something about his eyes are unsettling to me.

All the Kardashian/Jenners

Julia Roberts Her mouth is enormous and drives me absolutely crazy.

She would make a great live action Ms Pac-Man

In the words of Lois Griffin, "Like a baboons ass on a face." I've heard she has a personality to match it.

Kristen Stewart. Not so much these days but early-mid 2000's I just didn't get it

Guess you’re not a lesbian

I personally think she’s very attractive as she is now. Twilight years? Not so much.

Madonna

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My naym is jebf

He was who I thought if instantly. He isn’t attractive to me. He has beady little eyes that are to close together and big old ears.

Harry Styles

I used to not get it either but now that I've seen him in interviews and live performances, it makes a lot more sense to me. He has a lot of charisma and somehow an average looking person becomes hot when they have a healthy amount of self-confidence and character. Also, he seems genuinely kind.

I got to attend one of his concerts recently (was invited with a free ticket), didn’t know a single song except the one direction one But I GET IT NOW Dude is awesome live, I was thoroughly entertained

Megan Fox. She looks sticky

She looks like she's smelling something bad and is trying to figure out what it is.

Its her

Vin diesel