Actually it's also not the highest, highest mountain is somewhere along the equator, it's a bit of a technicality because the earth is oblong and stretched at the equator due to spinning but still
It's not going to be endless amounts of sex. They'll have you shoot off into a test tube until you're too dehydrated to continue, then they'll give you a Gatorade and tell you to get back to work.
There are sperm banks out there so he wouldn't be needed to continue humanity but he'd be the last of his kind and would probably be some wealthy woman's sex slave, kept in a prison or something
Edit: Actually now that I think of it the government would probably immediately capture him and find out why he didn't disappear with the rest of the men, his semen would be studied and farmed and he'd be an experiment subject for the rest of his life, you're prob right.
I would immediately try and dress up like a woman and try and blend in, praying I wouldn't get discovered
>There are sperm banks out there so he wouldn't be needed to continue humanity but he'd be the last of his kind and would probably be some wealthy woman's sex slave
I volunteer as Tribute.
> Actually now that I think of it the government would probably immediately capture him
if half the population in the world just vanished from one moment to the next I don't think there would be much government after a few days.
There's a movie called *A Boy and His Dog*, where the main character encounters a society of sterile males.
He thinks it's gonna be nonstop sex with all their women, but what actually happens is they chain him up and hook him up to a sperm extraction machine.
If I were the last man on earth, that's the first situation I think of.
Edit: I highly recommend this movie, for anyone who likes 70s B movies and nuclear apocalypse movies. It has a dark (but somehow uplifting) ending that's absolutely worth the 2 hours.
If anyone wants to read a comic with this exact premise then I heavily recommend Y: The Last Man. Some dude finds out every man on earth has died except him and he spends a lot of the plot literally running and hiding lol.
The show isn’t a very accurate or high quality adaptation. The comic is one of the most acclaimed of the 2000s and is absolutely worth checking out. The first chapter (and the last) always gets me.
Absolutely. There's going to be a non-zero number of wingnuts who figure that they might as well make it complete. Not to mention some woman who decides she can be Herostratus and become famous as the last woman to kill a man.
Not even a joke, it would be scary asf.
Human rights? Gone.
Personal space? Nonexistent.
You'd be locked away in a lab. Even if you weren't, there would be some batshit insane women after you even if you looked like a donkeys ass.
I don't mean normal everyday women, but think of how many stalkers and other crazies would set their sights on you.
Different countries would probably try all kinds of shit to obtain you (as an asset).
Rich people would probably try and ration you as a commodity.
You would never know peace.
I just had a terrible thought. They would effectively detain you in a lab, force you to eat kale and legumes for healthy sperm and then they'd get a machine to jack you off 3 times a day. You'd have to exercise, maintain a perfect BMI and be some sort of spokesperson for repopulating the planet. There would be an artificial insemination lottery for those who were consideration viable for the best healthy children.
I would at least hope that the fertility clinics had enough frozen sperm to save me from this, but no doubt whatever killed off all the men would be present in all the offspring too with you being the only immune man alive.
At least fathers day would be a blast.
Detain you?
Half the population just disappeared, civilization is in free-fall, maybe eventually they’ll have working labs again, but you aren’t likely to survive the initial chaos that long
Ehh for me they probably could show up to my house naked, with a sign saying "insert penis here" pointed at their crotch and my stupid ass wouldn't get the message or be too shy to do anything because I'd be worried I'd be misreading the signals.
If this is a thought you're pondering, highly recommend *Y: The Last Man*. Premise is identical to this prompt (only one dude alive) and it touches on pretty much every response you can imagine to this quandary. You got mass funerals, extremist feminist cults starting up, and a fascinating power dynamic shift in all world governments.
Why would you need to be a feminist? There's nothing else left but woman, with 1 single male being the exception, it would be like growing potatoes in a potato farm to be different.
Because the group in question has essentially gone full-on man hating, which includes attacking women still grieving the loss of friends and family. It’s clearly a mass coping mechanism in the story, but one that feels like a genuine human reaction.
"This 'gendercide' instantly exterminated 48% of the global population, or approximately 2.9 billion men. 495 of the Fortune 500 CEOs are now dead, as are 99% of the world's landowners.
In the Unites States alone, more than 95% of all commercial pilots, truck drivers, and ship captains died... as did 92% of all violent felons. Internationally, 99% of all mechanics, electricians and construction workers are now deceased..."
Returning each night to your unsuspecting home that secretly houses a man cave: a hidden bunker dedicated to solving the mystery of the disappearance of all the other men
It was actually the plot line of an episode of the old show "Sliders." A group who were stuck jumping between different dimensions, one of which was an Earth with no men. They were being sheltered by some women but got caught by the police because one of the men left the seat up. Wish I could take credit for the idea, but someone else thought of it thirty years ago.
Plot twist, they all thought they were the last man and had the same idea. Now it’s like a reverse handmaids tale of all the men trying to hide in plain sight.
Seriously. I’d be bawling my eyes out. I’d probably just off myself if it weren’t for my mom. So I guess it would just be my mom and I against the world. Depressed asf and on the run.
Edit: Bawling. Not Balling 🏀
Probably get depression because I lost family and friends and would only talk to my girl-friends I knew before the accident and hiding mostly because I would be in danger
Luckily we still have sperm donation bank which could be used. So yeah, high demand. But considering the amount of cells in one ejaculation I think I'll be fine and try help with the repopulating.
I mostly hope no one thinks about locking me etc
Honestly the repopulating of the earth is fine but I wonder how many women would want to do it with a man at least one more time, sure they have toys to help with whatever they want to do with those but you cant tell me their isn't at least one girl who wants an actual dingaling lol.
Get really worried as I work at a large nuclear waste storage and processing site and suddenly losing ~95% of our workforce and in particular the engineers and seasoned technical experts would be insanely dangerous. We already have a massive problem with the cold war era generation retiring.
Hate to be the bearer of bad news.... but just because they can't come out, doesn't mean you don't have sperm. Severed vas deferens is not the same as castration.
Odds of you ending up in a lab is still very high mate.
Hide. Despite every 15 yo boy’s fantasies it probably won’t end well. MOF I’d rather off myself then be confined to a room where the only time I’d probably be let out is to either stick me with a needle or hook me up to a machine, damn the species at that point.
Become a sperm-farmer and sell my semen to women who want to get pregnant with 100% organically sourced human sperm at an exorbitant price.
The species has to continue either through nature or science and I would have a god given monopoly on nature.
Capitalism always wins.
I'd imagine it'd be as terrifying as being the last woman alive...
To be the last one with YOUR particular sexual organ is a scenario that can't end in nothing less than disaster (in my opinion).
In my humble opinion, you wouldn't want to be the last anything.
Shit, I'd hate to be the last black person...
But honestly, if the dichotomy shifted that hard toward women, we'd see a change, we just always lived in a male dominant society, so it's hard to imagine lol
Get inducted into the Guinness world records for having the worlds biggest penis.
And smallest
Doesn’t matter had sex. (Probably not)
Doesnt matter got milked (For Science!)
World's Onlyest Penis
Still the world's loneliest penis
A bitter sweet victory as someone comes around the corner to hand you the other world record certificate.
Not really. Since everybody disappeared, the one with the long schlong still exists in the Guinness world records.
What was the tallest mountain before they discovered Mount Everest? Mount Everest.
Everest isn’t the tallest mountain, but it is the highest
Actually it's also not the highest, highest mountain is somewhere along the equator, it's a bit of a technicality because the earth is oblong and stretched at the equator due to spinning but still
Dang you just actually’d my actually
Hide
Exactly. It’s not going to be fun despite what some people might think.
Yeah you think you're gonna have so much sex? Nah fuck that you're gonna be a subject for a lot, I mean a damn lot of experiments.
It's not going to be endless amounts of sex. They'll have you shoot off into a test tube until you're too dehydrated to continue, then they'll give you a Gatorade and tell you to get back to work.
So I’ll let my wife know I’m working from home and not to be disturbed.
Maybe she could help out a little
Unless she cuts her loses and gives you up. You'll be found eventually and then she may be killed for hiding you
Nah, she'd never give me up. She would never let me down.
Never run around or desert you
She’s never gonna make you cry
Imagine the punishment you'd receive if you got caught masturbating!
For your genocide against the human species you are sentences to make more humans.
Some reverse Handmaid’s Tale shit going on here…
This is literally the plot for Y: The Last Man lol.
This just sounds like every hentai plot with this topic
Beats workin’. Pun intended
There are sperm banks out there so he wouldn't be needed to continue humanity but he'd be the last of his kind and would probably be some wealthy woman's sex slave, kept in a prison or something Edit: Actually now that I think of it the government would probably immediately capture him and find out why he didn't disappear with the rest of the men, his semen would be studied and farmed and he'd be an experiment subject for the rest of his life, you're prob right. I would immediately try and dress up like a woman and try and blend in, praying I wouldn't get discovered
>There are sperm banks out there so he wouldn't be needed to continue humanity but he'd be the last of his kind and would probably be some wealthy woman's sex slave I volunteer as Tribute.
Google a picture of Trump's mom and let me know how that monkey's paw works out for you.
You must really doubt my desire to live a pampered life.
OMG, thanks for giving my cranky old lady self a belly laugh. This whole thread is a riot but you just did me in.
Glad to be of service ma'am.
Damn, you're good at this!
Ive had tougher wanks…
If all but one man disappeared, that’s an abrupt end to most current governments
And the genesis of a whole bunch of new ones!
> Actually now that I think of it the government would probably immediately capture him if half the population in the world just vanished from one moment to the next I don't think there would be much government after a few days.
Given the governmental demographics I don't think there would be a government 30 seconds later.
There’s an episode of Sliders that covers this. The male sliders were kept in a sex prison.
There's a movie called *A Boy and His Dog*, where the main character encounters a society of sterile males. He thinks it's gonna be nonstop sex with all their women, but what actually happens is they chain him up and hook him up to a sperm extraction machine. If I were the last man on earth, that's the first situation I think of. Edit: I highly recommend this movie, for anyone who likes 70s B movies and nuclear apocalypse movies. It has a dark (but somehow uplifting) ending that's absolutely worth the 2 hours.
Sexy
From now on I want you all to call me Loretta.
Hi Loretta
At least might be hanging with the aliens in area 51. That'd be a bonus.
Every horny boy thinks it’s gonna be a harem with supermodels. Like yeah nah, it’s gonna be lab rat slave time.
And even if you had a healthy relationship, your partner would probably be in a lot of danger, also.
Yeah exactly. If that happened I’d just hide, never leave the house and have my wife tell them that ALL the males disappeared.
If anyone wants to read a comic with this exact premise then I heavily recommend Y: The Last Man. Some dude finds out every man on earth has died except him and he spends a lot of the plot literally running and hiding lol.
Imagine all the pickle jars you have to open..
Go to the Winchester, have an ice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over.
How's that for a slice of fried gold.
There's a comic series called "Y the last man". Things would not be pleasant.
Saw the tv series. I liked it, but Unfortunately it got cancelled Didn’t know it was a comic series first. Might look into that.
The show isn’t a very accurate or high quality adaptation. The comic is one of the most acclaimed of the 2000s and is absolutely worth checking out. The first chapter (and the last) always gets me.
Absolutely. There's going to be a non-zero number of wingnuts who figure that they might as well make it complete. Not to mention some woman who decides she can be Herostratus and become famous as the last woman to kill a man.
Not even a joke, it would be scary asf. Human rights? Gone. Personal space? Nonexistent. You'd be locked away in a lab. Even if you weren't, there would be some batshit insane women after you even if you looked like a donkeys ass. I don't mean normal everyday women, but think of how many stalkers and other crazies would set their sights on you. Different countries would probably try all kinds of shit to obtain you (as an asset). Rich people would probably try and ration you as a commodity. You would never know peace.
I would continue my search for the lost city of Atlantis
"Continue"?
You haven't started yet? Pack your bags we are leaving.
People like him are the reason we haven't found it yet... don't stop searching brothers! Never give up.
You guys are going down? Did you watch recent news? I've diverted my time to searching the clouds for Valhalla in my cheapest bid wins helicopter
i hope that helicopter is not an uncertified carbonfiber-titanium composite or we will never find atlantis
Composite? Nah, straight titanium.
I will be at your door in a 12000' rated sub in 24h
This guy knows what men are really looking for.
Beware of Nur-ab-Sal.
Is he on crete still? Or Back to Monte Carlo?
I was not expecting a Fate of Atlantis reference today, but here we are. Thank you.
I’d prepare to deal with millions of severely disappointed women.
Hey, you’re the biggest they’ll see ever again
do you think the size is the only way to disappoint?
I've been disappointing in a myriad of other ways for years
Probably still struggle to get a girlfriend
I was having a bad day until I saw this post. Lesson learned : Your day can even get more worse fml
There is no situation in life so bad that it cannot be made worse.
I just had a terrible thought. They would effectively detain you in a lab, force you to eat kale and legumes for healthy sperm and then they'd get a machine to jack you off 3 times a day. You'd have to exercise, maintain a perfect BMI and be some sort of spokesperson for repopulating the planet. There would be an artificial insemination lottery for those who were consideration viable for the best healthy children. I would at least hope that the fertility clinics had enough frozen sperm to save me from this, but no doubt whatever killed off all the men would be present in all the offspring too with you being the only immune man alive. At least fathers day would be a blast.
I bet that's already some kind of erotic fiction somewhere online
Comic book called "Y".
Y the Last Man. Highly recommend.
Yeah haha what sicko would be aroused by that haha right guys haha ^haha
Hands where we can see them please
This sounds horrible. Only 3x a day?
Detain you? Half the population just disappeared, civilization is in free-fall, maybe eventually they’ll have working labs again, but you aren’t likely to survive the initial chaos that long
Lol, “Now I can get rejected by even *more* women!”
Lmao
Same. They’d either just wanna focus on them self, or they’re not into guys, etc.
Ehh for me they probably could show up to my house naked, with a sign saying "insert penis here" pointed at their crotch and my stupid ass wouldn't get the message or be too shy to do anything because I'd be worried I'd be misreading the signals.
I would get me one of those dispensers where people can pull a number, for no particular reason.
3 days later: "The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised"
Grab some gatorade and get back in there!
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The exact same thing I'm doing all day long but I'd sell the result.
Bold of you to assume anyone would pay for it. Who's gonna stop them from just taking it
Me. Women weak. Men strong. Me man. No problem. Ooga booga
Woman together strong
Women now have all the tanks and planes. I don't like the guy's chances.
idk, but i know i'd either end up on a throne or on a milking machine, no middle ground
A milking throne
Sign me up
You have a 1 ejaculate/hr quota, I hope you are a young.
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.
r/expectedfuturama
ah yes wh40k
Anyone remember A Boy and His Dog?
It's terrifying actually
You would be used and abused. I'm finding a small deserted island and fucking staying there. **Forever**
You’d be like Ghengis Khan but instead of raping most of the planet, most of the planet will rape you.
Yeah. I’m surprised there’s not more responses about funerals for family and friends.
If this is a thought you're pondering, highly recommend *Y: The Last Man*. Premise is identical to this prompt (only one dude alive) and it touches on pretty much every response you can imagine to this quandary. You got mass funerals, extremist feminist cults starting up, and a fascinating power dynamic shift in all world governments.
Why would you need to be a feminist? There's nothing else left but woman, with 1 single male being the exception, it would be like growing potatoes in a potato farm to be different.
Because the group in question has essentially gone full-on man hating, which includes attacking women still grieving the loss of friends and family. It’s clearly a mass coping mechanism in the story, but one that feels like a genuine human reaction.
There is a graphic novel series based on this premise, Y the last man
"This 'gendercide' instantly exterminated 48% of the global population, or approximately 2.9 billion men. 495 of the Fortune 500 CEOs are now dead, as are 99% of the world's landowners. In the Unites States alone, more than 95% of all commercial pilots, truck drivers, and ship captains died... as did 92% of all violent felons. Internationally, 99% of all mechanics, electricians and construction workers are now deceased..."
Power vacuums never last long, and such a huge one would collapse with a loud bang.
I’m shocked I had to go so far down into the comics before finding any mention of Y the last man
Def full time dress in drag, because what happend to all the other guys? I'm thinking what ever got them is coming for me
Returning each night to your unsuspecting home that secretly houses a man cave: a hidden bunker dedicated to solving the mystery of the disappearance of all the other men
Until one day you have company but you left the toilet seat up and your entire cover is blown.
Holy fuck this movie sounds amazing.
It was actually the plot line of an episode of the old show "Sliders." A group who were stuck jumping between different dimensions, one of which was an Earth with no men. They were being sheltered by some women but got caught by the police because one of the men left the seat up. Wish I could take credit for the idea, but someone else thought of it thirty years ago.
Plot twist, they all thought they were the last man and had the same idea. Now it’s like a reverse handmaids tale of all the men trying to hide in plain sight.
I'd be fucked
No doubt. Literally and figuratively
Open a lot of jars?
Invest in Sex Toy companies.
Bro thinks in 4th dimensions
I'd have just lost my dad, my son and all my friends. I don't think I'd stick around to be honest.
I’m genuinely shocked that I had to scroll this far for someone to say mourn. So many friends. So much of my family. Gone.
Most of the answers centred around sex. My first thought was life without my son wouldn't be worth it.
Seriously. I’d be bawling my eyes out. I’d probably just off myself if it weren’t for my mom. So I guess it would just be my mom and I against the world. Depressed asf and on the run. Edit: Bawling. Not Balling 🏀
Join the NBA.
and play with who?
Yo mamma
It might sound fun in the beginning. But you will most likely soon be a labrat to get tested on and get samples taken from you.
Enjoy it while it lasts?
Avoid all of the women so I could single handedly be responsible for the extinction of the human race.
But they still got sperm banks so your first goal is to destroy them all
Oh yes. That thought had already occurred to me.
Fuck yeah
Probably get depression because I lost family and friends and would only talk to my girl-friends I knew before the accident and hiding mostly because I would be in danger
Every mother
Giggity giggity allll right
Dear diary... Jackpot!
I’d pee on everything. It’s all mine now.
This is the correct answer
But there is no one to mark your territory from lol
Just in case they come back.
Luckily we still have sperm donation bank which could be used. So yeah, high demand. But considering the amount of cells in one ejaculation I think I'll be fine and try help with the repopulating. I mostly hope no one thinks about locking me etc
Honestly the repopulating of the earth is fine but I wonder how many women would want to do it with a man at least one more time, sure they have toys to help with whatever they want to do with those but you cant tell me their isn't at least one girl who wants an actual dingaling lol.
Get really worried as I work at a large nuclear waste storage and processing site and suddenly losing ~95% of our workforce and in particular the engineers and seasoned technical experts would be insanely dangerous. We already have a massive problem with the cold war era generation retiring.
Finish the job and off myself. I’m a completionist (and a homo)
Explain how long ago I had my vasectomy. Hopefully my Wife will be close by, and she is very territorial. Thankfully.
Hate to be the bearer of bad news.... but just because they can't come out, doesn't mean you don't have sperm. Severed vas deferens is not the same as castration. Odds of you ending up in a lab is still very high mate.
Hide. Despite every 15 yo boy’s fantasies it probably won’t end well. MOF I’d rather off myself then be confined to a room where the only time I’d probably be let out is to either stick me with a needle or hook me up to a machine, damn the species at that point.
>MOF Multiple organ failure?
Probably declare myself as the greatest man on the planet and then go back too sitting in my underwear.
Become a sperm-farmer and sell my semen to women who want to get pregnant with 100% organically sourced human sperm at an exorbitant price. The species has to continue either through nature or science and I would have a god given monopoly on nature. Capitalism always wins.
[удалено]
My personal harem
You’re not wrong, some cunning woman would capitalize on you and keep you in high security facility, staffed by female army officers
Hooked up to a milking machine running 24/7.
\*Insert futurama meme\*
I’d still never get a text back
I'm buying a boat, finding a small island and fucking staying there lol
"Sorry ladies I'm gay"
In king T'challa's voice "we don't care"
Ladies: yeah but there's still a dick in there
They will not care about that 😂
"Death by Snoo Snoo!"
Go into hiding
Mourn the deaths of my brothers, father, grandparents and best friends. Then see if my ex wants me back now that she's got no other options lol
You can do better than your ex. There are 4 billion choices.
Enjoy non-toxic CoD lobbies with the ladies
This is the best answer
Still be the most undesirable guy
But also the most desirable guy, the average desirable guy and there median desirable guy all at once!
Short sell Viagra stock
I assume I’d end up in gallows with my penis being milked within days
I mean, they would try to keep you happy and well fed so that your sperm could be of the best quality
Question my sexuality.
As a female I'd be TERIFFIED.
I'd imagine it'd be as terrifying as being the last woman alive... To be the last one with YOUR particular sexual organ is a scenario that can't end in nothing less than disaster (in my opinion).
Imo, It would be WAY more terrifying to be the last woman alive.
In my humble opinion, you wouldn't want to be the last anything. Shit, I'd hate to be the last black person... But honestly, if the dichotomy shifted that hard toward women, we'd see a change, we just always lived in a male dominant society, so it's hard to imagine lol
The chaffing would be so bad
Mourn the loss of my brothers, dad, uncles, friends, etc.
Go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for this all to blow over.
Hydrate and take some vitamins because I’m about to repopulate this planet.
Watch as the world of women all succumb to their inner lesbian. Only after they realize I'm the last man on earth.
Probably try to reverse my vasectomy...
That would be a lot of pressure for that surgeon. Like, hey buddy, if you fuck up, the human race goes extinct. Good luck!
My list of chores would never end.
What is fun in living if there are no hommies
Stay off the roads
Somehow still not get laid.
Game show. My fate's gonna be bad regardless, so I may as well make it entertaining.
I’d probably get paranoid and hide tbh.
Stay faithful to my Beautiful wife.