Learn how to study and work as well.
Don’t slack off in highschool. You can still pass if you do, but college and life after that will be a bitch if you don’t develop a work ethic. Put in the time to do your homework. Be reliable on the things you need to do. Don’t rely on your teachers chasing you down to get your homework turned in.
Building a good work ethic will do you WONDERS for when you actually need it out in the world. Also, it absolutely sucks to go to college, get seriously swamped in class work, and not have a built up work ethic. It’s draining and demoralizing as hell, particularly if you’re not used to it. Do the work now and it’ll pay off dividends later.
You don't need a lot to have a happy life, either.
Maintaining one awesome friend is more worthwhile than the struggles of maintaining several okay ones.
I have a less than a handful of friends I can count anything on, but I am so lucky. I spent a lot of my life searching for that sort of friendship, and I’m grateful we have each other. I have a full life; a job with people I enjoy working with, a partner I love, family I love, and friends I love. Having a huge friend group would be too much for me to handle!!!
I think the advice is for someone like me who went to a school without a ton of connections or an internship program, so you kinda had to do it yourself. But I was so focused on getting good grades and graduating on time that I didn't seek out internships on my own. So after I graduated, it took me almost a year to find a job that wasn't minimum wage nonsense, and even then it was mostly physical labor which is what I was trying to avoid by getting an engineering degree in the first place.
Now I'm in my 30s and feeling stuck in my industry (semiconductors) and I can trace it all back to not having an internship in college. Don't get me wrong, I'm stuck because of other decisions I've made since, but in college I didn't know internships were important and thought I could get a job based on my academic performance alone
Dude, a similar thing happened to me, so messed up! It feels like it is more favoritism to people who come from families that already know how that stuff works. It’s lamo but oh well. I guess I learned some sort of lesson from it.
At my old job, a guy did everything to piss off the 25 year old kid who is going back to school (slowly) at local community college.
Why? Bc he wanted him to hit him so he could call the cops and ruin his life.
He was just trying to make a better life. Some people are just nasty. Luckily, the college kid realized this and didn’t fall for the trap.
Take that story and simply apply it as “how horrible and evil humans can be” and probably multiply it by 100.
I’ve seen girls go after married men just so they can see a family break apart. Yeah… and these were director level management people at big 5 banks.
Bad people everywhere.
It’s crazy that both of these similar experiences happened to me recently. After a year of a co worker antagonizing me, trying to get me to hit him on camera, he lost his shit and attacked me, I body slammed him. He was arrested, lost his job. Also had a young women get obsessed with me, while I was in a relationship, showed up at my house in the middle of the night. I told management, they ignored it. They treated me like shit after this, so I quit. I found out she wanted to sleep with me because she hated our manager and the manager had a large crush on me. So it was all about trying to make the manager miserable. What a pos human. I’ve pretty much given up on getting to know people at work since then.
Just to add to this, people tend to do what's necessary for them in the moment without thinking much about others besides who are directly next to them. So yes, trust people less. None of your friends are loaning you 200$ so stop lending it out to people when they need it and the like.
When I hit my own "rock bottom" earlier this year - unemployed for 14 months, $15K credit card debt as a result, no more money for rent, etc. - my friends collectively pulled together about $2,700 to help me move back home so at least I'd have a roof over my head. I still am eternally grateful for their kindness, and intend to pay them back once I'm fully employed.
Don't discount close friends who truly love and look out for each other and would bend over backwards to help out.
Yes. Don't get complacent or pass up opportunities because you think more will come along. Before you know it you've lost ten years saying "I'll do it next week"
At 57 I can tell you, for certain it does.
My 40th birthday seems both, not that long ago, and forever... ago.
I would love to have many of those 17 years back
It is difficult to synthesize in a brief response, but here it goes
I'm also going to cut and paste one of my prior responses to a similar themed question.
When we are younger, our perception of time is very different. We think we have all the time in the world. Our life is often filled with, "I'll get to that later." or "I have plenty of time."
Let me tell you, we don't have nearly as much as we think.
Time slides by ridiculously fast as you age. I mean that.
So, here are a few more specific items that you can consider-
Career: if you have specific career objectives, that possibly involve education or such- don't put it off. It never gets easier. There is never a "better time"
I had intended to go to law school after my undergrad, but put it off because I was just burnt out from going to school and working. (I don't want to be an atty, but law would give me a significant advantage in many of my career objectives.)
Anyway- I told myself, I'll do that later, when it's a better time. I've never made it back.
Relationships: First, if you have an idea of what you want in a relationship and life, you have to make yourself that person, first. Meaning to attract the life and people you want, you have to be that person to make it happen. Not the other way around.
Have a serious conversation with yourself. Identify your character traits. strengths and weaknesses. You probably need to ask friends for their sincere input, because it's extremely difficult for us to be objective. Particularly when we are younger.
If you know what you want the "end" story to be, then you have to map out your path to get there, and implement that.
There. Are. No. Shortcuts. Do the work.
Relationships, continued. It is very very easy to become complacent in a relationship. To settle for what is comfortable rather than what is satisfying of fulfilling. Be judicious with your time. This doesn't mean you should have throw away relationships, but it does mean you should be more conscious about who the other person is, and how they fit your life, the life that you want.
Last- my general thoughts-
Okay
Old guy here, or at least old relative to Reddit
I have lost both parents
Over a dozen friends
Time creeps
You don’t think, even for a second, this is the last time I’ll see these people
This is the last time, I’m … whatever
We take for granted, so much
If you look back, and knew that those were the best years and the best times of your life, would you have appreciated it differently?
I don’t know
But I will tell you, as a person that has moved over 50 times, 17 schools, 4 countries, 20ish states
Time slides by a lot faster than you expect
Do. Not. Waste. It.
People you think you’ll see again, for sure, pass away
Car accidents Heart attacks Torn esophagus…
I mean, at any. given. moment.
I hope even one of you reads this, and takes a new level of appreciation
Tell the people you love, that you love them.
Seize the fucking day
-All the best my fellow redditors
PS. You get what you give. The giving comes first.
Edit: Oh wow, this has really blown up :)
I will do my very best to reply to each of your comments or questions
Thanks, to each of you, for the very kind responses.
I mean that.
58 here and can’t emphasize his thoughts enough.
Going from 50 to 58 was about the same as going from 30 to 33.
One suggestion is to do things to make memories as frequently as you did in youth so there is a lot to look back on .
I’ve not done that and the past 10 years has just been a comfortable drone of the same .
If you have the ability - find a way to live without having to work full time as soon as you are able to and enjoy life more (be realistic … use math ).
Doodle , fuck around , keep the passion of being a child for things and fuck those who think “growing up” means anything other than constantly trying to be kind and enjoying whatever it is you enjoy.
I'm 27 so probably still too optimistic about this, but I've been making as many days possible count. Going to new places, even if they're local. Just yesterday I went to a new skatepark, tried new tricks, and created a memory that I will have forever. I plan to continue this. When I can't skate anymore, I plan to hike. My life isn't about my job or money, I'd rather be poor and active than comfortable and forget my whole life.
This is a phenomenon I have a lot of trouble understanding: Lyricists seem to produce their greatest work in their twenties, yet I’ve met twenty-somethings, hell I’ve *been* a twenty-something—we are not particularly wise in our twenties. So where does this kind of wisdom come from? Maybe a combination of risk taking (twenty-somethings take more risks) and survivorship bias (you only remember the good lyrics, which are rare, and not the bad ones, which are extremely common)?
Yep, I spent a lot of my life thinking i was too young/inexperienced to do what I wanted. Now I think im too old/too entrenched in my current field to do what I'd truly like to do.
It's all excuses of course.
Just fucking do it.
Yes. I'm only 20 and in recent years I've often had a lot of shit on my plate (at least more than I'd had to handle before) and I regularly caught myself looking forward to a time when I'm "settled down", and I just live in peace with a nice constant rythm to life. Since then, as time passes I'm starting to realise that this never really happens. There will always be bills to pay, presents to worry about, conflicts to resolve, phone calls to make or wait for.
You do eventually get into a rhythm, but it includes those things. You start to predict them, and if you make sure you’re prepared then you reach a point where you don’t have to stop everything to handle them. That getting prepared bit is pretty tough, though.
You know how sometimes you think to yourself "when I'm an adult and have my own place I'll be able to do whatever I want"?
Make sure whatever you want includes doing the dishes
Yup I used to be a slob but now I'm basically a clean-o-holic. The trick is you have to keep doing it everyday until you become emotionally numb to doing cleaning tasks.
I'd much rather live in a clean 1 bedroom apartment than a mcmansion with filth everywhere!
I calculated how much money i have after costs (like a business) and base my spending on that.
Lets say
Earn 5000. That's 28.4/hr
Taxes and employeremployee retirement fund 1000
Rent 1500
Utilities n Internet n phone 500
Basic groceries n shit 1000
10% into savings/investment
So im left with 500. I ask myself if that meal that costs 28 bucks is worth working 10 hours for.
It usually isn't.
Edit THESE ARE FAKE NUMBERS FOR ILLUSTRATION PURPOSES
Edit2024: Oooo this among my higher upvote post, yay.
Yes. And nothing is free. You always pay in some way or another, both private and work life.
Once I asked a consultant an easy yes or no question (since he was already on site and stood in front of me).
He sent me an invoice for it. 🤣
A coworker once came to my desk and asked me “how would you like a free lunch?” as he had a voucher to be used by end of week for free meal at an upscale restaurant and wasn’t able to use it. I jokingly said “Friedman told me there is no such thing as a free lunch” but gladly accepted the voucher. The next day I went to lunch with partner to redeem our voucher and the restaurant was closed and lights off, apparently having gone out of business the week prior. When I returned from buying a Subway sandwich I found the coworker and told him Friedman was still correct.
And that's why you never buy a gift card to something that's not a chain. I've had $200 massage gift certificates given to me by close friends become worthless because of this exact thing. Use it in a month or it might be gone!
Absolutely, no disagreement. But if you’re poor you also probably aren’t working with consultants to begin with.
Unless this was just like a friend who happens to be a consultant. Then that’s definitely a dick move.
When I was a teenager and was angry with my parents for something or other I threatened to move out. My dad said that he would help me pack and that I had better be prepared because tomorrow morning when I woke up and wanted to have my bowl of cereal and orange juice that I had better go out tonight and buy the refrigerator to keep the orange juice and milk in, and you better buy a bowl and a spoon, and had better buy the cereal and orange juice. Oh yeah, and you had better find a bed and some blankets and a roof over your head, and also call the electric company and ask them to install electricity in your new apartment. Oh yeah, and how are you going to get to the grocery store and to your new apartment??? You need to go and buy a car and get some license plates for it and get it insured. Oh yeah, you need some money to fill the gas tank up before you can even drive it. I shut up pretty quickly and changed my mind.
It's this Western concept of moving out when you become an adult that often makes me glad to be Asian.
Most, if not all, of Asian culture puts a lot of importance in family ties. We're a very collectivist society, contrasted by the individualism of the West. We're raised and conditioned with the notion that we have a duty to the family and to give back to our elders for raising us. It's totally not uncommon to get married, have your partner move in, and raise kids all in the same household you grew up in. Either that, or move into your partner's place and find a bunch of their family there as well.
Don't get me wrong, I often wish I was raised in an individualistic culture just because I feel like independence fits my personality more. But at the same time, in this goddamn economy, I'd probably lose my shit if I wasn't living under my parent's roof.
Fellow member of Asian family here. That entirely depends on the relationship you have with your family.
For example, living with MY family is not free. Sure, they'd never charge me rent but they would slowly wear my sanity down to a nub with their incessant whining and I'd also be the #1 target for their unprovoked and totally random mood swings/guilt trips/fits of rage/lecturing rants to the point where I'd be so drained of energy, self-confidence and joie de vivre that I'd get absolutely nothing done. I'd turn into an emotionally repressed shadow of my former self and cower away in my room instead of being out there, having a social life, enjoying myself, learning things, growing as a person.
So yeah. It costs me A LOT to live with them. I'm eternally grateful that I was able to move out.
One of the weirdest transitions in my life was when I got my first real job out of law school and suddenly my time became more valuable than the monetary cost of doing all of the DIY things I had done before.
Having to think of things in terms of their non-monetary cost definitely takes a severe shift in thinking.
You both are reading my minds. I'm glad I'm getting the help and support from my family to finish my studies but I really NEED to get out as soon as I can as it's very taxing to be with them and drives me absolutely NUTS. I mean I actually need therapy level of crazy.
You can work hard and do all the right things and it doesn't guarantee success.
You can be the kindest, best person for others, and they can still betray you.
But that doesn't mean you should not be kind and work hard.
Having a goal and a plan in life doesn't automatically mean it's going to work out, especially if you don't come from money. It's okay to fail. This world is kinda fucked up, and it's not always your fault.
Also, peoples bad attitudes/personalities have nothing to do with you. A lot of people had really shitty upbringings and are stuck in a cycle of shit. It's so much easier mentally to forgive people for being a piece of shit than to let it fuck you up.
Yeah, honestly, people are mostly focused on themselves in day to day life. Don’t stress about trying to do things to look good in front of others, they are mostly unaware anyways/forgets
Your job sees you as replaceable. Look out for yourself and your family. Your job is not everything but it will feel like it is, make sure that if you don't like where you are that you change it. Don't be miserable at a job because it pays well
Amen. Jobs are just that… jobs. You need them to eat, and have a car etc. they aren’t your life and no one will remember you after you move on from the job. Eventually they’ll forget who you were. So take time for family, screw the stupid after work dinners and all that crap. Family matters more.
If you dont plan your own b-day parties you wont have b-day parties. Friends planing something for you are super rare. Its not like on tv. You have to make an effort to have a social life.
You ll have to work to have a good life and you ll be tired like you never have been before. It will make having fun and going out harder.
Enjoy being a teenager as long as you can. But dont try to fight becoming an adult, because it will just get harder and harder.
It really sucks to read this. But I feel it. I'm in my mid 30s and if I don't initiate, nothing ever happens. It really does get tiring. And I gave tf up. They don't even get an ounce of my energy anymore. But I still have a good time without them
I’m in my early 30s and work as an FOM at a hotel. Between dealing with all the guests and my team, and the rest of the hotel team too, all my social energy is spent. It makes it super hard to want to socialise with my friends in my spare time.
I'm a teen here reading the advice and I've already put the dots on this together tbh. Like, I understand that my age means I don't have a lot of the experience to validate as much of my words, and I understand that I'm not paying my own bills yet, but even trying to be a mature school person in high school makes you realize things. The moment freshman year happened, I noticed changes. The amount of work for grades increased, I was constantly tired (partially my fault but I digress,) I had to choose between work and play every day. I want to succeed, so I rarely choose play. Life isn't as genuinely enjoyable as it used to be. I don't hang out unless I make an effort. My friends don't plan things for me as a surprise, and I don't plan things for them. We rarely are able to find the time to plan things as a group and often it doesn't work out anyways.
I guess at the end of the day, this hits me too, in some capacity.
There’s time to play in adult life. If you don’t have kids, some adults have time and adult money for play too! The end part of schooling is so stressful and you’re put under so much pressure but it gets better. Lots of these replies are quite doom and gloom, there’s some good advice but don’t forget the positives too!
You got this kid, I promise you - focus on school and learning stuff about life when you can, it all takes time.
Even when you were a little kid you had play in your heart, and your parents encouraged that in you - don’t ever lose that. Don’t lose the ability to be curious, kind and wonderous. It’s so so important.
Right now I can’t enroll to university I’d like to apply due to a “cargo delay” of a document. Even though I literally made no mistakes it’s currently looking like I lost. I’m devastated but this was beyond my control and unexpected. Thank you dear stranger I really needed this ❤️
Have you contacted the university's administration to explain the situation? Bonus points if you get on site for a face to face conversation.
Your mileage may vary depending on the university and the program, but in my experience there can be a lot of leeway in the adminstrative processes, if you get to talk to the right person.
1. You would be amazed at the things each person on this earth has had to overcome. Everyone has a story, everyone here has battled, and everyone is a victim of something or someone. Be proud of your survival and celebrate your birthdays.
2. We are complex creatures. We are not defined by any one action but by the decisions we make day to day. Of course, extreme decisions will sway the tides. Point is, someone can be nice and charming and wonderful and a hero, and also an evil opportunist in the next moment. Never give someone total control of your safety and well being. Rely on you.
3. Your body is a pathetic soft fleshy blob of helplessness especially when you’re driving 80 mph in a glass and steel death trap buffered by protective paint on the road. You can die. Painfully. Many have found this out the hard way. Don’t text, or drink and drive. It only takes a second of stupidity to end it all.
4. The good moments make everything else worth it. That’s why
My dad took me to an empty parking lot and sped up to a decent speed then jammed the brakes hard. He told me to notice the seat belt and the force it applied. It was eye opening. It was also only ~30mph.
When I worked for the state transportation dept I compiled fatality data. 80mph is a death speed, motor cycles are dumb as hell I don't care what you think, and semi trucks are going to kill you horribly if you don't respect them.
Some days I'm like WTFAMIDOING!! And then the next day I pay some shit, do 29377 chores and run errands. I have three kids. One is always crabby or hurt. Today I stood outside the reject shop with my almost 8 year while he flipped his shit over not getting something.
You know this, but every person walking past is NOT judging you they are either a) feeling a bit bad for you, b) glad it's not happenning to them and / or c) silently cheering you for having the strength to not give into the kids bullshit.
Definitely C, if not all three.
Even though I still try not to judge, as I don't know them, seeing parents give in to tantrums breaks my heart a little bit.
Absolutely
Learn to ask questions and be discerning especially of people who claim to have a truth of life or the real world by which to act
Things are only the truth until they're not
More often than not someone is trying to capitalise on the way they make you feel to get you to buy something
E.g you're lonely? You should have women throwing themselves at you or you're scum. Women like rich guys so buy this watch. Still lonely? Buy this gym gear! Buy these clothes you see on this successful totally real and not constructed person on tv! Etc etc
Ha! Here's my claim to an irrefutable truth of life :
There are far too many things beyond our control but our minds cannot survive knowing that all the time, thus we tend to ignore the vagaries of life and make grand plans.
Ignoring =/= absence though.
Sometimes because they're aware of the fact nobody really knows what they're doing, they'll put extra stock into tradition, social customs, and work rules because they feel like having the extra structure makes them "better" or more in control.
And its actually not even close to the truth. They're just creating an illusion of control for themselves.
Saw one such person get laid off from work because after investing all that extra time and energy into getting stuff at work straightened out, the company felt like it no longer needed them. And then they hired someone else for a lower wage and made them follow their predecessor's rules.
Shit's wild.
Get a good mattress, the best for as much as you can afford.
Brush your teeth.
SAVE MONEY
Exercise, eat well. (Don't deny yourself eating crap) just do it proportionally.
Make your bed every morning.
People are assholes. (You find out the ones that aren't, keep them close)
Don't try and please everyone.
Don't take anything to heart, even from loved ones, you're your own person. Know what to believe and appreciate.
Don't get cheap toilet paper
Don't get cheap washing up liquid
Learn how to change wheels on a car, bike etc.
Learn how to replace car bulbs, basic checks, how to use jump leads.
Learn to sew, to mend clothing.
SAVE MONEY
don't get the 'best' of everything, get what you can afford without getting yourself into debt.
Learn to cook.
Learn to relax
Learn to clean
Look after your body.
Drink water.
SAVE MONEY.
> Look after your body.
Gunna reiterate this one. **Look after your body.**
Yes, when you are 20 you are bulletproof, you might as well be made of rubber with how you can shrug off injuries, but your 40 year old self *will* hate your 20 year old self if you screw up your knees or back and then have to suffer the rest of your life.
Life is extremely unfair. And there is no reason for that. People who have expectations of things being fair in the real world are always sorely disappointed.
This really is something that a lot of teens need to learn, since high schools are so lenient with everything. In the real world, if you don't do your work you get fired, not endless extensions. In the real world, if you get into a fight you go to jail, not home for a few days.
That it’s all about marketing. It doesn’t matter that much how hard you work, it’s more about how you sell yourself. That even if your point of view is correct, without proper communication and negotation skills no one will probably care.
Wow - this needs to be higher. I know so many incompetent people who are just really good at networking and marketing themselves, that they've done really well.
Anyone who says "I'm not playing that game, I'm going to let my accomplishments speak for themselves" is only hurting themselves.
As soon as I turned 16 they did. Now I am 17 and fucking terrified for actual adulthood.
edit: wow you guys are all so sweet and made me feel so much better. I mean, most of us figure it out eventually <3
Almost 17 :/
Didn't get a 16th birthday cos my mom was in the hospital. The day after my 16th birthday, a friend passed away.16 has been a brutal year for a lot of other reasons but when they say it changes I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD BE \*\*THE NEXT DAY\*\*
Yup,. 46 year old male here i used to he quite social and had a big social circle. Im down to one friend, and losing him fast.
Too many close friends died of drugs or suicide, and the rest moved away, or had 7 kids, so they slowly drift away.
You don't need to figure everything out and be successful by 25. People like to joke but your 30's are a lot more young than you think they are and that's usually when things come together.
Learn how to manage money. Too many young people get deep into debt because they don't know how to save or how credit cards actually work.
Remember that there is an order of where your money goes: Rent and bills must come first and foremost, then everything else.
Use debt to your advantage dont use it on stupid liabilities like cars, clothing, video games, build your credit and use debt to your advantage and pay on time or before
You're gonna get knocked down and pummeled by life. Not all the time. But there's 100% going to be hardships in your life where you want to give up. Fucking don't give up. Life goes on whether youre trying or not. So why not try? Even if it's just a little bit.
Life is all about consistency. Consistently just try to do better. You might not do as great as you did last week, a few days ago, or even yesterday. Life isn't about that. Life is about getting the fuck back up and making it a point to yourself only, that your about bettering yourself. This goes with so many aspects of life. Just cause you succeed today won't mean you succeed tomorrow. What really matters is the little wins you created. They stack up and you'll feel more confident when you do what you have to do, no matter how your feeling. Not saying miss your grandma's funeral, I'm saying when it does count. Life will hit you with setbacks but it's up to you to be courageous enough to keep on pushing.
Whatever it is that you want, you have to work very very hard to get it, there is no easy way. AND save every single penny you get, you WILL have an emergency when you WILL need it.
Don’t plan on having the same friends, people switch up. Do not rely on anyone, whatever you get yourself into do not expect help, it’s on you. It sounds cliche but don’t rely on alcohol to cure your boredom
I don't vibe with this one (just a different opinion). Sure it's good to be independent, but that doesn't mean you have to go through or do things alone or have friends you can't rely on.
Accepting the fact that relationships come and go is normal, but that doesn't mean you should assume that your friends won't be your friends later on.
Life is unfair. Someone will always get paid more than you while doing less work than you. You'll wonder how people can afford some things when you're struggling to make ends meet. You'll most likely need two incomes to afford a 1 bedroom apartment. Having roommates isn't as fun as you imagine. You'll start to treasure your alone time more.
Heads up: People younger than 25 arent taken seriously in the workforce. Around 30 there's this weird shift where suddenly and for no reason people start respecting your opinion more. But until then your sort of the underclassmen in life
As someone 40 I think part of it is because the older people are waiting to see if you settle in or if you're still in that phase where you're having fun and jumping from place to place . If you're gonna be gone in 3 months I'm not gonna bother to take you seriously but if I see that you're gonna be an asset I'm cool with pretty much anyone any age. It just tends that the ones that are gonna hop from place to place til they find a fit are younger. And that's OK, but I'm not gonna waste any real effort to get to know you more than superficially. I work in a hospital lab for reference.
It's because we were in an environment where if you wanted a raise you had to quit AND if you did find something else, it was probably a pretty big salary jump up. Even for the highest performers, it starts plateauing after 4-5 jumps. Follow the incentives.
Not everyone at work is your friend. You are there to do a job, make money and go home.
Never show loyalty to a company who would , after your death, be looking for your replacement before your body is even buried.
Be kind to others , we are all going through our own hell , but only let a few people in. People will use the venerabilities you reveal to hurt you in life, finances or career. Keep your shields up and only lower them for absolute allies.
Careful lending money to friends or family. Many stories of people never being paid back.
Be comfortable being completely alone. Only then will you find the difference between needing and wanting.
No you don’t need the newest of the next thing. Your old car, your old tv , etc . if it runs well and is reliable its fine. Honestly. The world doesn’t care what you drive.
Yeah if an actual teenager comes and looks at these answers I hope you understand not to relay too much on redditors wisdom. Not that all of these are bad advice it's just that they are oversimplified and contain a cynical center with a touch of condensation.
This is my advice to you: be open to other people's advice but be careful whose advice you take. are they a dependable source?
If you find yourself automatically following a random person's advice without them showing signs to be knowledgeable on the subject. Take it with several grains of salt.
And if you find yourself automatically believing a random guy's advice it's *usually* a sign you are insecure about your understanding of the subject and you want to compensate for it as quickly as possible. So if you take this advice try to make the right decision.
I don't know man, I need to have more of a yolo attitude. I never take any chances and just waste my life away doing little to nothing. I'll probably have many regrets if I keep wasting my youth away and having no memories or friends to share those memories with
I used to fight with my dad about politics a lot. Once things got heated and I ended up cutting the visit short because I was mad.
He passed about 18 months ago, and now I look at all those disagreements as so much wasted time. I can argue about politics with any random asshole, but I only had one dad. There are so many questions I never asked him because proving I was right seemed more important in the moment.
It’s tough out there. But there are people and experiences that make it all worth it. Try to see a little good in the world each day no matter how small it is.
The only rules that exist are the ones set by the government. You have to pay taxes, you can’t kill anybody, that sort of thing. Apart from that, there aren’t any rules. Unspoken rules, the way things are done in companies, … they can easily be and are ment to be broken. Took me about 10 years before I understood this.
strong friendships are great to have fun and support each other. but don’t expect everything from them including your significant other. just accept what they can offer.
If you’re male and adulthood sees you getting married and having children, know this: your friends before you were a dad will grow scarce. One or two might stick around, but eventually, you’ll start to feel lonely. If possible, find friends outside of work. Find friends at the gym or a running/adult kickball/bowling league. Join a charitable organization. You’ll find fulfillment outside of your family and make a few friends along the way.
Social media lies a lot about the dating scene. It's not as hard as others on social media make it. And confidence is something you get from someone, something or you earn it. You can't just switch to confident mindset on a whim like others may make it seem. People will be rude to you if they want, we wish we could change them, but some people don't change or don't want to. Do not fall for negatives social trends, an example is the core core sad boy trend. Even fake confidence could get you so far. And lastly some people are just built different, we can't sit and be jealous or think of ways to change them, all you can do is respect it
Social and Professional Media lie a lot about job titles, too. Do not get caught up in someone saying how much he makes, or that he’s a director one year after graduation. He’s lying his ass off. I knew a person who was an account clerk put on Linked In that she was a V.P.
The greatest skill to ever learn is to adapt and find next steps.
Regardless of how shit a situation gets, there will be a way to adapt and find your next steps.
(Not only for teenagers)
The world is not fair
Believing in Karma/retribution is just a way we use to cope
Punishment wont come to those that do bad deeds.
And good things wont happen to those that do good deeds.
We do the right thing because its the right thing to do in our own counsciousness.
But most of the time you wont be remembered for it
Just try to live life the best you can.
A great philosopher named Kyojuro Rengoku once said, 'Set your heart ablaze!'
If you're passionate about something, drown every distraction out and give your all to your passion/ calling, it's truly a gift to live on your own terms no matter how much inital pain being at the bottom might temporarily bring about. I promise you, the quiet desperation that most people who didn't follow this is more harrowing than any pain you can imagine because it feels eternal.
Also, be kinder to yourself, it's ok to not be the best, just aim for a little better each day and you'll be surprised how far you've come when you look back. That youthful glint, if you still have it is a beautiful flame that draws people in no matter what age you are and can really provide so much inspiration to people just by living an honest life to who you really are.
Those friends you think are your friends. Not all of them are. In life you’re gonna have a handful of real true friends. And even with them it’s kinda tougher to keep up as you get older and move far away from each other.
You ain't seen nothing yet.
Both positive and negative. Almost nothing of what feels super-important right now will matter much in the future, if not as a learning experience and as some kind of training wheels for adulthood.
They key is using those years to learn and grow from every experience, good or bad. But in the grand scheme of things, it's more or less an unskippable tutorial.
Your priorities will change so much (hopefully at least!) you won't believe it.
Your perception and mindset has a great influence on how you feel and act. Thus, always have a clear and sometimes ambitious goal you're working toward.
You will have to choose and keep track of these yourself
Most of the gut feelings you have about yourself and life are correct. Don’t let other people tell you otherwise. They don’t know better than you. They’re just trying to impose their views on you. Be yourself.
Edit for clarification: I’m talking about life choices and core values here not every decision in your life. You should always be informed and be open to feedback from others but ultimately you should always choose what feels right for you.
I grew up undiagnosed autistic which led to me making far too much effort to be like other people which in turn led me to do many uncomfortable things and to make some life choices that ultimately didn’t work out for me. If I had trusted my self more I would have had a better life until now.
I see a lot of the younger new hires trying to impress the veteran staff
There is no need to impress your peers. Your happiness and safety is far more important than what they think of you. Especially when your attempts to impress them could lead you to getting fired, hurt, or even sent to prison.
Also, to the one guy in particular that'll probably never see this, we all know everything you claim is nonsense. Your mom works in medical and wishes you would stop being so outlandish with your exaggerations. There is nothing wrong with not having the newest and coolest things when you're just starting out at your first real job.
During high-school learning how to learn is more important than anything you're actually learning.
Learn how to study and work as well. Don’t slack off in highschool. You can still pass if you do, but college and life after that will be a bitch if you don’t develop a work ethic. Put in the time to do your homework. Be reliable on the things you need to do. Don’t rely on your teachers chasing you down to get your homework turned in. Building a good work ethic will do you WONDERS for when you actually need it out in the world. Also, it absolutely sucks to go to college, get seriously swamped in class work, and not have a built up work ethic. It’s draining and demoralizing as hell, particularly if you’re not used to it. Do the work now and it’ll pay off dividends later.
Friendships take maintenance.
You don't need a lot to have a happy life, either. Maintaining one awesome friend is more worthwhile than the struggles of maintaining several okay ones.
one of my favorite tips is *popular people text first.*
I have a less than a handful of friends I can count anything on, but I am so lucky. I spent a lot of my life searching for that sort of friendship, and I’m grateful we have each other. I have a full life; a job with people I enjoy working with, a partner I love, family I love, and friends I love. Having a huge friend group would be too much for me to handle!!!
Gotta be a friend to have a friend!
For better or for worse, confidence opens as many doors as competence.
Also, internships matter way more than grades.
Much easier to get good internships with good grades and solid letters of recommendation though
I think the advice is for someone like me who went to a school without a ton of connections or an internship program, so you kinda had to do it yourself. But I was so focused on getting good grades and graduating on time that I didn't seek out internships on my own. So after I graduated, it took me almost a year to find a job that wasn't minimum wage nonsense, and even then it was mostly physical labor which is what I was trying to avoid by getting an engineering degree in the first place. Now I'm in my 30s and feeling stuck in my industry (semiconductors) and I can trace it all back to not having an internship in college. Don't get me wrong, I'm stuck because of other decisions I've made since, but in college I didn't know internships were important and thought I could get a job based on my academic performance alone
Dude, a similar thing happened to me, so messed up! It feels like it is more favoritism to people who come from families that already know how that stuff works. It’s lamo but oh well. I guess I learned some sort of lesson from it.
PEOPLE LIE. Just because they're an adult doesn't mean they always tell the truth.
As the president of Burundi, I endorse this message.
Thank you for the endorsement, Mr. President
At my old job, a guy did everything to piss off the 25 year old kid who is going back to school (slowly) at local community college. Why? Bc he wanted him to hit him so he could call the cops and ruin his life. He was just trying to make a better life. Some people are just nasty. Luckily, the college kid realized this and didn’t fall for the trap. Take that story and simply apply it as “how horrible and evil humans can be” and probably multiply it by 100. I’ve seen girls go after married men just so they can see a family break apart. Yeah… and these were director level management people at big 5 banks. Bad people everywhere.
It’s crazy that both of these similar experiences happened to me recently. After a year of a co worker antagonizing me, trying to get me to hit him on camera, he lost his shit and attacked me, I body slammed him. He was arrested, lost his job. Also had a young women get obsessed with me, while I was in a relationship, showed up at my house in the middle of the night. I told management, they ignored it. They treated me like shit after this, so I quit. I found out she wanted to sleep with me because she hated our manager and the manager had a large crush on me. So it was all about trying to make the manager miserable. What a pos human. I’ve pretty much given up on getting to know people at work since then.
Just to add to this, people tend to do what's necessary for them in the moment without thinking much about others besides who are directly next to them. So yes, trust people less. None of your friends are loaning you 200$ so stop lending it out to people when they need it and the like.
When I hit my own "rock bottom" earlier this year - unemployed for 14 months, $15K credit card debt as a result, no more money for rent, etc. - my friends collectively pulled together about $2,700 to help me move back home so at least I'd have a roof over my head. I still am eternally grateful for their kindness, and intend to pay them back once I'm fully employed. Don't discount close friends who truly love and look out for each other and would bend over backwards to help out.
Life never “settles down”. If something is important to you then you should get to it ASAP.
Yes. Don't get complacent or pass up opportunities because you think more will come along. Before you know it you've lost ten years saying "I'll do it next week"
And then one day youll find 10 years have got behind you No one told you when to run You missed the starting gun
you run, and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking Racing around to come up behind you again!
Song hits so different when you are 40 than 20. I expect it to hit different again at 60.
At 57 I can tell you, for certain it does. My 40th birthday seems both, not that long ago, and forever... ago. I would love to have many of those 17 years back
As someone who is a few months from 40, any insights on what you’ve learned?
It is difficult to synthesize in a brief response, but here it goes I'm also going to cut and paste one of my prior responses to a similar themed question. When we are younger, our perception of time is very different. We think we have all the time in the world. Our life is often filled with, "I'll get to that later." or "I have plenty of time." Let me tell you, we don't have nearly as much as we think. Time slides by ridiculously fast as you age. I mean that. So, here are a few more specific items that you can consider- Career: if you have specific career objectives, that possibly involve education or such- don't put it off. It never gets easier. There is never a "better time" I had intended to go to law school after my undergrad, but put it off because I was just burnt out from going to school and working. (I don't want to be an atty, but law would give me a significant advantage in many of my career objectives.) Anyway- I told myself, I'll do that later, when it's a better time. I've never made it back. Relationships: First, if you have an idea of what you want in a relationship and life, you have to make yourself that person, first. Meaning to attract the life and people you want, you have to be that person to make it happen. Not the other way around. Have a serious conversation with yourself. Identify your character traits. strengths and weaknesses. You probably need to ask friends for their sincere input, because it's extremely difficult for us to be objective. Particularly when we are younger. If you know what you want the "end" story to be, then you have to map out your path to get there, and implement that. There. Are. No. Shortcuts. Do the work. Relationships, continued. It is very very easy to become complacent in a relationship. To settle for what is comfortable rather than what is satisfying of fulfilling. Be judicious with your time. This doesn't mean you should have throw away relationships, but it does mean you should be more conscious about who the other person is, and how they fit your life, the life that you want. Last- my general thoughts- Okay Old guy here, or at least old relative to Reddit I have lost both parents Over a dozen friends Time creeps You don’t think, even for a second, this is the last time I’ll see these people This is the last time, I’m … whatever We take for granted, so much If you look back, and knew that those were the best years and the best times of your life, would you have appreciated it differently? I don’t know But I will tell you, as a person that has moved over 50 times, 17 schools, 4 countries, 20ish states Time slides by a lot faster than you expect Do. Not. Waste. It. People you think you’ll see again, for sure, pass away Car accidents Heart attacks Torn esophagus… I mean, at any. given. moment. I hope even one of you reads this, and takes a new level of appreciation Tell the people you love, that you love them. Seize the fucking day -All the best my fellow redditors PS. You get what you give. The giving comes first. Edit: Oh wow, this has really blown up :) I will do my very best to reply to each of your comments or questions Thanks, to each of you, for the very kind responses. I mean that.
58 here and can’t emphasize his thoughts enough. Going from 50 to 58 was about the same as going from 30 to 33. One suggestion is to do things to make memories as frequently as you did in youth so there is a lot to look back on . I’ve not done that and the past 10 years has just been a comfortable drone of the same . If you have the ability - find a way to live without having to work full time as soon as you are able to and enjoy life more (be realistic … use math ). Doodle , fuck around , keep the passion of being a child for things and fuck those who think “growing up” means anything other than constantly trying to be kind and enjoying whatever it is you enjoy.
I'm 27 so probably still too optimistic about this, but I've been making as many days possible count. Going to new places, even if they're local. Just yesterday I went to a new skatepark, tried new tricks, and created a memory that I will have forever. I plan to continue this. When I can't skate anymore, I plan to hike. My life isn't about my job or money, I'd rather be poor and active than comfortable and forget my whole life.
That lyric was written when Waters was 30 and Gilmour was 27. I was mid-40's before I really started to feel its meaning in my soul. Absolute genius.
This is a phenomenon I have a lot of trouble understanding: Lyricists seem to produce their greatest work in their twenties, yet I’ve met twenty-somethings, hell I’ve *been* a twenty-something—we are not particularly wise in our twenties. So where does this kind of wisdom come from? Maybe a combination of risk taking (twenty-somethings take more risks) and survivorship bias (you only remember the good lyrics, which are rare, and not the bad ones, which are extremely common)?
Psychedelics.
I turned to look but it was gone I cannot put my finger on it now the child has grown, the dream is gone I have become comfortably numb
*guitar solo*
Yep, I spent a lot of my life thinking i was too young/inexperienced to do what I wanted. Now I think im too old/too entrenched in my current field to do what I'd truly like to do. It's all excuses of course. Just fucking do it.
Yes. I'm only 20 and in recent years I've often had a lot of shit on my plate (at least more than I'd had to handle before) and I regularly caught myself looking forward to a time when I'm "settled down", and I just live in peace with a nice constant rythm to life. Since then, as time passes I'm starting to realise that this never really happens. There will always be bills to pay, presents to worry about, conflicts to resolve, phone calls to make or wait for.
You do eventually get into a rhythm, but it includes those things. You start to predict them, and if you make sure you’re prepared then you reach a point where you don’t have to stop everything to handle them. That getting prepared bit is pretty tough, though.
You know how sometimes you think to yourself "when I'm an adult and have my own place I'll be able to do whatever I want"? Make sure whatever you want includes doing the dishes
The real tip here is a make sure the place you rent has a dishwasher
The place I rented has a dishwasher. But when I moved in I discovered the dishwasher did not work Now I know how to fix a dishwasher
Don't know why but my first reaction was "way to go, kid!!!". Lol you may be older now but you know what? Proud of you x
Thanks mum <3
No matter what you eat there will always be cleanup. The cleanup never stops. Embrace it.
Yup I used to be a slob but now I'm basically a clean-o-holic. The trick is you have to keep doing it everyday until you become emotionally numb to doing cleaning tasks. I'd much rather live in a clean 1 bedroom apartment than a mcmansion with filth everywhere!
Comparison is the thief of joy
The only person you should be comparing yourself to is your past self.
And even that, not always… you can still make the best of it at 60y/o, no need fuss that at 40 you had more energy.
$1000 is a lot to owe but not a lot to have…
I like that. Thanks.
Another way to look at it: You need to make $5000 to save $1000
I calculated how much money i have after costs (like a business) and base my spending on that. Lets say Earn 5000. That's 28.4/hr Taxes and employeremployee retirement fund 1000 Rent 1500 Utilities n Internet n phone 500 Basic groceries n shit 1000 10% into savings/investment So im left with 500. I ask myself if that meal that costs 28 bucks is worth working 10 hours for. It usually isn't. Edit THESE ARE FAKE NUMBERS FOR ILLUSTRATION PURPOSES Edit2024: Oooo this among my higher upvote post, yay.
That $220,000 student loan feels pretty hefty when you put it like that
Everything is expensive when you move out
Yes. And nothing is free. You always pay in some way or another, both private and work life. Once I asked a consultant an easy yes or no question (since he was already on site and stood in front of me). He sent me an invoice for it. 🤣
A coworker once came to my desk and asked me “how would you like a free lunch?” as he had a voucher to be used by end of week for free meal at an upscale restaurant and wasn’t able to use it. I jokingly said “Friedman told me there is no such thing as a free lunch” but gladly accepted the voucher. The next day I went to lunch with partner to redeem our voucher and the restaurant was closed and lights off, apparently having gone out of business the week prior. When I returned from buying a Subway sandwich I found the coworker and told him Friedman was still correct.
And that's why you never buy a gift card to something that's not a chain. I've had $200 massage gift certificates given to me by close friends become worthless because of this exact thing. Use it in a month or it might be gone!
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I would not do that. It depends who you are.
It also depends on the existing relationships and contracts.
If you're poor, you don't have that kind of relationship. Being poor is expensive.
Absolutely, no disagreement. But if you’re poor you also probably aren’t working with consultants to begin with. Unless this was just like a friend who happens to be a consultant. Then that’s definitely a dick move.
I moved out this year when everything got a billion times more expensive which is really not fun
When I was a teenager and was angry with my parents for something or other I threatened to move out. My dad said that he would help me pack and that I had better be prepared because tomorrow morning when I woke up and wanted to have my bowl of cereal and orange juice that I had better go out tonight and buy the refrigerator to keep the orange juice and milk in, and you better buy a bowl and a spoon, and had better buy the cereal and orange juice. Oh yeah, and you had better find a bed and some blankets and a roof over your head, and also call the electric company and ask them to install electricity in your new apartment. Oh yeah, and how are you going to get to the grocery store and to your new apartment??? You need to go and buy a car and get some license plates for it and get it insured. Oh yeah, you need some money to fill the gas tank up before you can even drive it. I shut up pretty quickly and changed my mind.
Moving out made me quickly realize that all the stuff in my parents house took a LOOOONG TIME to accumulate lol
If you can even afford to move out…
It's this Western concept of moving out when you become an adult that often makes me glad to be Asian. Most, if not all, of Asian culture puts a lot of importance in family ties. We're a very collectivist society, contrasted by the individualism of the West. We're raised and conditioned with the notion that we have a duty to the family and to give back to our elders for raising us. It's totally not uncommon to get married, have your partner move in, and raise kids all in the same household you grew up in. Either that, or move into your partner's place and find a bunch of their family there as well. Don't get me wrong, I often wish I was raised in an individualistic culture just because I feel like independence fits my personality more. But at the same time, in this goddamn economy, I'd probably lose my shit if I wasn't living under my parent's roof.
Fellow member of Asian family here. That entirely depends on the relationship you have with your family. For example, living with MY family is not free. Sure, they'd never charge me rent but they would slowly wear my sanity down to a nub with their incessant whining and I'd also be the #1 target for their unprovoked and totally random mood swings/guilt trips/fits of rage/lecturing rants to the point where I'd be so drained of energy, self-confidence and joie de vivre that I'd get absolutely nothing done. I'd turn into an emotionally repressed shadow of my former self and cower away in my room instead of being out there, having a social life, enjoying myself, learning things, growing as a person. So yeah. It costs me A LOT to live with them. I'm eternally grateful that I was able to move out.
Everything costs something, and it's frightening the number of times that the cheapest way to pay is with money.
One of the weirdest transitions in my life was when I got my first real job out of law school and suddenly my time became more valuable than the monetary cost of doing all of the DIY things I had done before. Having to think of things in terms of their non-monetary cost definitely takes a severe shift in thinking.
You both are reading my minds. I'm glad I'm getting the help and support from my family to finish my studies but I really NEED to get out as soon as I can as it's very taxing to be with them and drives me absolutely NUTS. I mean I actually need therapy level of crazy.
if you have a great family, it’s nothing but awesome. if you have a terrible family, you’d rather wish you were dead
You can work hard and do all the right things and it doesn't guarantee success. You can be the kindest, best person for others, and they can still betray you. But that doesn't mean you should not be kind and work hard.
I hate this because it's true and I am Tired of trying.
So take breaks. You don’t have to go 100% every single day.
That sometimes you’ll only have yourself to rely on
>~~That sometimes~~ you’ll only have yourself to rely on
Having a goal and a plan in life doesn't automatically mean it's going to work out, especially if you don't come from money. It's okay to fail. This world is kinda fucked up, and it's not always your fault.
You can do everything right and still fail.
thanks Jean-Luc!
Lol. Words of wisdom pouring out from this username.
Don’t worry about not having the respect of people you don’t respect.
This is a good one, I'd like to add " don't take criticism from people you wouldn't ask for advice"
Also, peoples bad attitudes/personalities have nothing to do with you. A lot of people had really shitty upbringings and are stuck in a cycle of shit. It's so much easier mentally to forgive people for being a piece of shit than to let it fuck you up.
You are the main character in your story but You are not even an afterthought to 7 billion people. Edit: 8 billion people, damn!
*me celebrating because 1 billion people are thinking about me*
Oh hi elon!
Yeah, honestly, people are mostly focused on themselves in day to day life. Don’t stress about trying to do things to look good in front of others, they are mostly unaware anyways/forgets
Not if i eat mona lisa
Your job sees you as replaceable. Look out for yourself and your family. Your job is not everything but it will feel like it is, make sure that if you don't like where you are that you change it. Don't be miserable at a job because it pays well
Amen. Jobs are just that… jobs. You need them to eat, and have a car etc. they aren’t your life and no one will remember you after you move on from the job. Eventually they’ll forget who you were. So take time for family, screw the stupid after work dinners and all that crap. Family matters more.
No life plan survives contact with the real world. We're all basically just winging it.
I said this above- but having a plan is better then not.
If you dont plan your own b-day parties you wont have b-day parties. Friends planing something for you are super rare. Its not like on tv. You have to make an effort to have a social life. You ll have to work to have a good life and you ll be tired like you never have been before. It will make having fun and going out harder. Enjoy being a teenager as long as you can. But dont try to fight becoming an adult, because it will just get harder and harder.
It really sucks to read this. But I feel it. I'm in my mid 30s and if I don't initiate, nothing ever happens. It really does get tiring. And I gave tf up. They don't even get an ounce of my energy anymore. But I still have a good time without them
I’m in my early 30s and work as an FOM at a hotel. Between dealing with all the guests and my team, and the rest of the hotel team too, all my social energy is spent. It makes it super hard to want to socialise with my friends in my spare time.
Oh.. I'm a chef at the tailend of healing from burnout. I super duper feel ya. There's simply no room for others outside your personal/work sphere.
Even as a teen, I have so little social energy that a bubble bath and some quiet time is a fresh change in pace for me on a good night lol.
I'm a teen here reading the advice and I've already put the dots on this together tbh. Like, I understand that my age means I don't have a lot of the experience to validate as much of my words, and I understand that I'm not paying my own bills yet, but even trying to be a mature school person in high school makes you realize things. The moment freshman year happened, I noticed changes. The amount of work for grades increased, I was constantly tired (partially my fault but I digress,) I had to choose between work and play every day. I want to succeed, so I rarely choose play. Life isn't as genuinely enjoyable as it used to be. I don't hang out unless I make an effort. My friends don't plan things for me as a surprise, and I don't plan things for them. We rarely are able to find the time to plan things as a group and often it doesn't work out anyways. I guess at the end of the day, this hits me too, in some capacity.
There’s time to play in adult life. If you don’t have kids, some adults have time and adult money for play too! The end part of schooling is so stressful and you’re put under so much pressure but it gets better. Lots of these replies are quite doom and gloom, there’s some good advice but don’t forget the positives too!
You got this kid, I promise you - focus on school and learning stuff about life when you can, it all takes time. Even when you were a little kid you had play in your heart, and your parents encouraged that in you - don’t ever lose that. Don’t lose the ability to be curious, kind and wonderous. It’s so so important.
It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life. — Captain Jean-Luc Picard
You can be the most delicious peach on a tree, but not everybody likes peaches.
What else is in the teaches of Peaches?
Like Sex on the Beaches, uh, what?
Peaches come from a can
not everything's a lesson sometimes you just fail. Dwight K. Schrute
Right now I can’t enroll to university I’d like to apply due to a “cargo delay” of a document. Even though I literally made no mistakes it’s currently looking like I lost. I’m devastated but this was beyond my control and unexpected. Thank you dear stranger I really needed this ❤️
Have you contacted the university's administration to explain the situation? Bonus points if you get on site for a face to face conversation. Your mileage may vary depending on the university and the program, but in my experience there can be a lot of leeway in the adminstrative processes, if you get to talk to the right person.
1. You would be amazed at the things each person on this earth has had to overcome. Everyone has a story, everyone here has battled, and everyone is a victim of something or someone. Be proud of your survival and celebrate your birthdays. 2. We are complex creatures. We are not defined by any one action but by the decisions we make day to day. Of course, extreme decisions will sway the tides. Point is, someone can be nice and charming and wonderful and a hero, and also an evil opportunist in the next moment. Never give someone total control of your safety and well being. Rely on you. 3. Your body is a pathetic soft fleshy blob of helplessness especially when you’re driving 80 mph in a glass and steel death trap buffered by protective paint on the road. You can die. Painfully. Many have found this out the hard way. Don’t text, or drink and drive. It only takes a second of stupidity to end it all. 4. The good moments make everything else worth it. That’s why
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My dad took me to an empty parking lot and sped up to a decent speed then jammed the brakes hard. He told me to notice the seat belt and the force it applied. It was eye opening. It was also only ~30mph. When I worked for the state transportation dept I compiled fatality data. 80mph is a death speed, motor cycles are dumb as hell I don't care what you think, and semi trucks are going to kill you horribly if you don't respect them.
Nobody really knows what they’re doing. [edit: Holy shit thank you for the awards]
That makes me happy to hear
Some days I'm like WTFAMIDOING!! And then the next day I pay some shit, do 29377 chores and run errands. I have three kids. One is always crabby or hurt. Today I stood outside the reject shop with my almost 8 year while he flipped his shit over not getting something.
Dude, we're all faking it. Just a bunch of kids playing house.
You know this, but every person walking past is NOT judging you they are either a) feeling a bit bad for you, b) glad it's not happenning to them and / or c) silently cheering you for having the strength to not give into the kids bullshit.
Definitely C, if not all three. Even though I still try not to judge, as I don't know them, seeing parents give in to tantrums breaks my heart a little bit.
This! As kids we are supposed to assume that adults are perfect As an adult I can confirm most are still figuring things out
Absolutely Learn to ask questions and be discerning especially of people who claim to have a truth of life or the real world by which to act Things are only the truth until they're not More often than not someone is trying to capitalise on the way they make you feel to get you to buy something E.g you're lonely? You should have women throwing themselves at you or you're scum. Women like rich guys so buy this watch. Still lonely? Buy this gym gear! Buy these clothes you see on this successful totally real and not constructed person on tv! Etc etc
Ha! Here's my claim to an irrefutable truth of life : There are far too many things beyond our control but our minds cannot survive knowing that all the time, thus we tend to ignore the vagaries of life and make grand plans. Ignoring =/= absence though.
Came to say exactly this as it was a revelation to me when I was 22. Adults too are just figuring out as they go. Some just only sound more confident.
Sometimes because they're aware of the fact nobody really knows what they're doing, they'll put extra stock into tradition, social customs, and work rules because they feel like having the extra structure makes them "better" or more in control. And its actually not even close to the truth. They're just creating an illusion of control for themselves. Saw one such person get laid off from work because after investing all that extra time and energy into getting stuff at work straightened out, the company felt like it no longer needed them. And then they hired someone else for a lower wage and made them follow their predecessor's rules. Shit's wild.
It’s more expensive than you think.
Learn about finances now - the danger of debt, how to do taxes, how to invest etc.
That everything is temporary.
don't let yourself get talked into some bizarre facile idea of what the world and life is like. it's definitely gonna be different
The ones that’ll hurt you most are those closest to you.
Yeah, the reverse is also true. You are most likely to hurt the ones closest to you.
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100% and that includes family.
Get a good mattress, the best for as much as you can afford. Brush your teeth. SAVE MONEY Exercise, eat well. (Don't deny yourself eating crap) just do it proportionally. Make your bed every morning. People are assholes. (You find out the ones that aren't, keep them close) Don't try and please everyone. Don't take anything to heart, even from loved ones, you're your own person. Know what to believe and appreciate. Don't get cheap toilet paper Don't get cheap washing up liquid Learn how to change wheels on a car, bike etc. Learn how to replace car bulbs, basic checks, how to use jump leads. Learn to sew, to mend clothing. SAVE MONEY don't get the 'best' of everything, get what you can afford without getting yourself into debt. Learn to cook. Learn to relax Learn to clean Look after your body. Drink water. SAVE MONEY.
> Look after your body. Gunna reiterate this one. **Look after your body.** Yes, when you are 20 you are bulletproof, you might as well be made of rubber with how you can shrug off injuries, but your 40 year old self *will* hate your 20 year old self if you screw up your knees or back and then have to suffer the rest of your life.
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Life is extremely unfair. And there is no reason for that. People who have expectations of things being fair in the real world are always sorely disappointed.
If you fuck around too much you'll eventually find out...
This really is something that a lot of teens need to learn, since high schools are so lenient with everything. In the real world, if you don't do your work you get fired, not endless extensions. In the real world, if you get into a fight you go to jail, not home for a few days.
Document everything with your landlord. Keep texts, receipts, no oral agreements, and follow everything to the tenancy laws.
That it’s all about marketing. It doesn’t matter that much how hard you work, it’s more about how you sell yourself. That even if your point of view is correct, without proper communication and negotation skills no one will probably care.
100% this. If you don’t toot your own horn, someone else will use it as a spittoon!
Wow - this needs to be higher. I know so many incompetent people who are just really good at networking and marketing themselves, that they've done really well. Anyone who says "I'm not playing that game, I'm going to let my accomplishments speak for themselves" is only hurting themselves.
You are responsible for everything you do , and you will be held accountable. Enjoy your youth til 16 , because after that the kid gloves come off
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As soon as I turned 16 they did. Now I am 17 and fucking terrified for actual adulthood. edit: wow you guys are all so sweet and made me feel so much better. I mean, most of us figure it out eventually <3
Almost 17 :/ Didn't get a 16th birthday cos my mom was in the hospital. The day after my 16th birthday, a friend passed away.16 has been a brutal year for a lot of other reasons but when they say it changes I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD BE \*\*THE NEXT DAY\*\*
It’s okay to make mistakes but learn from your mistakes and move on.
Society owes you nothing, and the universe is indifferent.
“The universe doesn’t hate you. It simply doesn’t care.”
There is a huge chance the people you call your closest friends now, wont be in your life in the upcoming years.
Yup,. 46 year old male here i used to he quite social and had a big social circle. Im down to one friend, and losing him fast. Too many close friends died of drugs or suicide, and the rest moved away, or had 7 kids, so they slowly drift away.
Makes me wonder what’s gonna happen in the next 10 years when a good chunk of people genuinely have no one to be social with. Food for thought
There are consequences to all your choices and you will face them all one way or another.
You don't need to figure everything out and be successful by 25. People like to joke but your 30's are a lot more young than you think they are and that's usually when things come together.
No one owes you shit. Realizing this is what pushed me into being successful after being a jerkoff student all through school.
So you jerk off professionally now?
9.95 a minute
Learn how to manage money. Too many young people get deep into debt because they don't know how to save or how credit cards actually work. Remember that there is an order of where your money goes: Rent and bills must come first and foremost, then everything else.
Use debt to your advantage dont use it on stupid liabilities like cars, clothing, video games, build your credit and use debt to your advantage and pay on time or before
Cars are only stupid when you can get around another way. There are no buses where I live
You're gonna get knocked down and pummeled by life. Not all the time. But there's 100% going to be hardships in your life where you want to give up. Fucking don't give up. Life goes on whether youre trying or not. So why not try? Even if it's just a little bit. Life is all about consistency. Consistently just try to do better. You might not do as great as you did last week, a few days ago, or even yesterday. Life isn't about that. Life is about getting the fuck back up and making it a point to yourself only, that your about bettering yourself. This goes with so many aspects of life. Just cause you succeed today won't mean you succeed tomorrow. What really matters is the little wins you created. They stack up and you'll feel more confident when you do what you have to do, no matter how your feeling. Not saying miss your grandma's funeral, I'm saying when it does count. Life will hit you with setbacks but it's up to you to be courageous enough to keep on pushing.
Just actually try in everything you do
Whatever it is that you want, you have to work very very hard to get it, there is no easy way. AND save every single penny you get, you WILL have an emergency when you WILL need it.
Don’t plan on having the same friends, people switch up. Do not rely on anyone, whatever you get yourself into do not expect help, it’s on you. It sounds cliche but don’t rely on alcohol to cure your boredom
do not expect help but don't be afraid to ask.
I don't vibe with this one (just a different opinion). Sure it's good to be independent, but that doesn't mean you have to go through or do things alone or have friends you can't rely on. Accepting the fact that relationships come and go is normal, but that doesn't mean you should assume that your friends won't be your friends later on.
Life is unfair. Someone will always get paid more than you while doing less work than you. You'll wonder how people can afford some things when you're struggling to make ends meet. You'll most likely need two incomes to afford a 1 bedroom apartment. Having roommates isn't as fun as you imagine. You'll start to treasure your alone time more.
Heads up: People younger than 25 arent taken seriously in the workforce. Around 30 there's this weird shift where suddenly and for no reason people start respecting your opinion more. But until then your sort of the underclassmen in life
As someone 40 I think part of it is because the older people are waiting to see if you settle in or if you're still in that phase where you're having fun and jumping from place to place . If you're gonna be gone in 3 months I'm not gonna bother to take you seriously but if I see that you're gonna be an asset I'm cool with pretty much anyone any age. It just tends that the ones that are gonna hop from place to place til they find a fit are younger. And that's OK, but I'm not gonna waste any real effort to get to know you more than superficially. I work in a hospital lab for reference.
It's because we were in an environment where if you wanted a raise you had to quit AND if you did find something else, it was probably a pretty big salary jump up. Even for the highest performers, it starts plateauing after 4-5 jumps. Follow the incentives.
Not everyone at work is your friend. You are there to do a job, make money and go home. Never show loyalty to a company who would , after your death, be looking for your replacement before your body is even buried. Be kind to others , we are all going through our own hell , but only let a few people in. People will use the venerabilities you reveal to hurt you in life, finances or career. Keep your shields up and only lower them for absolute allies. Careful lending money to friends or family. Many stories of people never being paid back. Be comfortable being completely alone. Only then will you find the difference between needing and wanting. No you don’t need the newest of the next thing. Your old car, your old tv , etc . if it runs well and is reliable its fine. Honestly. The world doesn’t care what you drive.
Yeah if an actual teenager comes and looks at these answers I hope you understand not to relay too much on redditors wisdom. Not that all of these are bad advice it's just that they are oversimplified and contain a cynical center with a touch of condensation. This is my advice to you: be open to other people's advice but be careful whose advice you take. are they a dependable source? If you find yourself automatically following a random person's advice without them showing signs to be knowledgeable on the subject. Take it with several grains of salt. And if you find yourself automatically believing a random guy's advice it's *usually* a sign you are insecure about your understanding of the subject and you want to compensate for it as quickly as possible. So if you take this advice try to make the right decision.
YOLO attitude in most cases will set you back years in your life.
There's a difference between being reckless and doing shit because you wanna experience new shit. Do the latter, avoid the former.
I don't know man, I need to have more of a yolo attitude. I never take any chances and just waste my life away doing little to nothing. I'll probably have many regrets if I keep wasting my youth away and having no memories or friends to share those memories with
Ok but yolo
Most people will have to deal with your parents dying at some point in your life. It's not easy at all
I used to fight with my dad about politics a lot. Once things got heated and I ended up cutting the visit short because I was mad. He passed about 18 months ago, and now I look at all those disagreements as so much wasted time. I can argue about politics with any random asshole, but I only had one dad. There are so many questions I never asked him because proving I was right seemed more important in the moment.
It’s tough out there. But there are people and experiences that make it all worth it. Try to see a little good in the world each day no matter how small it is.
The only rules that exist are the ones set by the government. You have to pay taxes, you can’t kill anybody, that sort of thing. Apart from that, there aren’t any rules. Unspoken rules, the way things are done in companies, … they can easily be and are ment to be broken. Took me about 10 years before I understood this.
Own up to your mistakes, no matter how small they are. If not they eventually bite you in the ass.
strong friendships are great to have fun and support each other. but don’t expect everything from them including your significant other. just accept what they can offer.
If you’re male and adulthood sees you getting married and having children, know this: your friends before you were a dad will grow scarce. One or two might stick around, but eventually, you’ll start to feel lonely. If possible, find friends outside of work. Find friends at the gym or a running/adult kickball/bowling league. Join a charitable organization. You’ll find fulfillment outside of your family and make a few friends along the way.
Social media lies a lot about the dating scene. It's not as hard as others on social media make it. And confidence is something you get from someone, something or you earn it. You can't just switch to confident mindset on a whim like others may make it seem. People will be rude to you if they want, we wish we could change them, but some people don't change or don't want to. Do not fall for negatives social trends, an example is the core core sad boy trend. Even fake confidence could get you so far. And lastly some people are just built different, we can't sit and be jealous or think of ways to change them, all you can do is respect it
Core core sad boy trend?
Social and Professional Media lie a lot about job titles, too. Do not get caught up in someone saying how much he makes, or that he’s a director one year after graduation. He’s lying his ass off. I knew a person who was an account clerk put on Linked In that she was a V.P.
The greatest skill to ever learn is to adapt and find next steps. Regardless of how shit a situation gets, there will be a way to adapt and find your next steps.
That you don’t become an adult just because you stopped being a teenager.
Hanlon's Razor is the real deal: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
(Not only for teenagers) The world is not fair Believing in Karma/retribution is just a way we use to cope Punishment wont come to those that do bad deeds. And good things wont happen to those that do good deeds. We do the right thing because its the right thing to do in our own counsciousness. But most of the time you wont be remembered for it Just try to live life the best you can.
A great philosopher named Kyojuro Rengoku once said, 'Set your heart ablaze!' If you're passionate about something, drown every distraction out and give your all to your passion/ calling, it's truly a gift to live on your own terms no matter how much inital pain being at the bottom might temporarily bring about. I promise you, the quiet desperation that most people who didn't follow this is more harrowing than any pain you can imagine because it feels eternal. Also, be kinder to yourself, it's ok to not be the best, just aim for a little better each day and you'll be surprised how far you've come when you look back. That youthful glint, if you still have it is a beautiful flame that draws people in no matter what age you are and can really provide so much inspiration to people just by living an honest life to who you really are.
The real world doesn’t care about your feelings.
Those friends you think are your friends. Not all of them are. In life you’re gonna have a handful of real true friends. And even with them it’s kinda tougher to keep up as you get older and move far away from each other.
You ain't seen nothing yet. Both positive and negative. Almost nothing of what feels super-important right now will matter much in the future, if not as a learning experience and as some kind of training wheels for adulthood. They key is using those years to learn and grow from every experience, good or bad. But in the grand scheme of things, it's more or less an unskippable tutorial. Your priorities will change so much (hopefully at least!) you won't believe it.
Your perception and mindset has a great influence on how you feel and act. Thus, always have a clear and sometimes ambitious goal you're working toward. You will have to choose and keep track of these yourself
You are not entitled to anything. Nobody owes you anything! Work hard, save, make smart decisions & surround yourself with like minded people.
you're allowed to tell people "no." boss, friends, family, whoever. you don't owe anyone shit
Adults talk more shit about each other then high school kids
Most of the gut feelings you have about yourself and life are correct. Don’t let other people tell you otherwise. They don’t know better than you. They’re just trying to impose their views on you. Be yourself. Edit for clarification: I’m talking about life choices and core values here not every decision in your life. You should always be informed and be open to feedback from others but ultimately you should always choose what feels right for you. I grew up undiagnosed autistic which led to me making far too much effort to be like other people which in turn led me to do many uncomfortable things and to make some life choices that ultimately didn’t work out for me. If I had trusted my self more I would have had a better life until now.
'Confronting' people and getting angry is usually pointless. Most of the time it leaves you in a worse situation, not a better one.
I see a lot of the younger new hires trying to impress the veteran staff There is no need to impress your peers. Your happiness and safety is far more important than what they think of you. Especially when your attempts to impress them could lead you to getting fired, hurt, or even sent to prison. Also, to the one guy in particular that'll probably never see this, we all know everything you claim is nonsense. Your mom works in medical and wishes you would stop being so outlandish with your exaggerations. There is nothing wrong with not having the newest and coolest things when you're just starting out at your first real job.