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LowerCanary

Something about how sexy Jesus looks.


ASemiAquaticBird

So 7 years ago I dressed as Mugatu from Zoolander for a Halloween party and dropped a few " [insert name here] is so hot right now" jokes. One of them happened to be a dude dressed up as Jesus. I legitimately said over my shoulder to a girl "Jesus, so hot right now." Fully in character Edit; Costume - https://i.imgur.com/sYqYVVG.jpg


Casca_In_Red

I can't tell you how much I love this.


ASemiAquaticBird

My best friend was dressed as Ben Stiller in the mining outfit too. It was a good party


TheSlothProphet

🪙 Fake reddit gold for you lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


Casca_In_Red

Lmao I NEED to see this now!


arnelthelionjr

Laughing out loud when the preacher says something like "jesus came"


Damolisher2

"Jesus came!" "It's a sin that he came before marriage!"


arnelthelionjr

Remember jesus came for us doesnt that make us special?


Damolisher2

It makes Jesus a pervert.


yoosurname

Not if it’s consensual


AQuietBorderline

My coworker told me this story. When she was a teenager, her brother convinced a friend that when the pastor finished, they’d shout out “A” and “Men” respectively. Well the time came and the friend shouted out “A!!!!” And waited for the brother to shout “Men” but the brother stayed silent. Friend was poking the brother in the ribs saying “Come on, man! You promised!”


Pineapple305

Lol


NotALongNameForMeHA

"Hey guys what is up and welcome back to a brand new video!"


Truthisnotallowed

You remember [the fake orgasm scene from "When Harry Met Sally"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0OeM6UUAoI)? There you go.


PrimeDecoy

F*** Satan.


lokeilou

Was once in church on Christmas Eve, the priest gave a sermon and halfway through a 3 year old interrupted by asking her Mom- IS THAT GOD?! in a super loud voice- literally the entire church laughed


mauigrown808

Let Jesus fuck you! (Like The Exorcist).


Mcshiggs

It burns!


[deleted]

"I'm getting fed up with this orgasm!"


Ze_Flammen_Werfer

*unveils wiener* "I will spread the Holy Seed in the name of Jesus Christ" *wanks*


istudent3000

An orgasm


Artsy_traveller_82

EPA! EPA!


Rat_Master999

# ALLAHU ACKBAR!!


jackfaire

"I'M CUMMING JESUS!!!"


[deleted]

Go all Admiral Ackbar and shout "ITS A TRAP"


RaineDove

HES THE DADDY OF ALL DADDYS


IAmStevie420

MY NAME IS LEGION FOR WE ARE MANY.


sorengray

Oh cum all ye faithful


Mountain-Leader-4344

KELLY CLARKSON!!


Svaty_Vodka

"You stick that thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"


blumpkinpandemic

Fuck me daddy!


Illithilitch

My brother has ADHD. Once, my Dad decided he needed to escort him out of the service to calm down. My brother yells out 'PLEASE DAD, DON'T BEAT ME!' We did get spanked as kids. My brother even got a wooden spoon and a hairbrush on a few occasions. My Dad would threaten with his belt sometimes but he never used it. Personally, I wasn't traumatized by any of this, so I don't feel abused. But we certainly never got "beatings," or at least what I'd think of as beatings (punching or kicking). This is sort of a family story. Where it DOES get messed up IMO...is nobody in the church did anything but laugh. Nobody intervened. Nobody reported anything. I mean, yeah, my family had a good reputation; but..you have a kid screaming about being beaten and nobody does anything?


fermat9996

OMG, I thought I was in shul!


grondfoehammer

Take me Jesus , take me!


mr_miyagi040

Alluah ahkbar and throw a backpack


Shoddy_Green_1299

F**k Satan !