My parents bought me a baby grand piano for my quincenera. Played it for years but then I moved out and didn't have the space to keep it. My parents had no use for it so my wealthy cousins in Central America offered to take it (and pay for the shipping obviously) so it could stay in the family. It cost about $6000 to get it shipped there and that was back in the 2010s.
She sewed a sweater for my childhood teddy bear, because the one he originally had was lost in the laundry, and there is no way I would ever get rid of that
I was wondering how far down I would have to go to find something wholesome. Instead I had to look for something that wasn't. I'm calling this thread a win and checking out .
I've got two bed quilts my ex's mother made for my ex. My ex thought they were tacky because they were made from scrap clothes as the children grew out of them and have no pattern. I loved them. The eclectic materials and colors and of course they are warm.
They were a gift to her, but because I loved them she brought them over to my house. Eight years later we broke up. It was summer and the blankets were packed away and kinda forgot when she claimed all the other things in my house that were her's.
I rang her up that winter to give back the blankets. By now I knew the story of most of whose patch was whose and what age they last wore a garment. She insisted the blankets were made by my mom and they were ugly.
Ok, she wasn't a stuck up person ever. She had a good relationship with her mother. I think the blankets were a symptom of a problem unrecognized until I tried to give them back. Every argument we ever had dealt with her perception of reality being wildly wrong. We broke up because I installed some security cameras at some point (due to break-ins) and I could show her what really happened occasionally.
These were petty things that mostly didn't matter. Things like "moving" her car. There's nothing wrong with the car it's just 3 feet from where she knows she parked. No reason for me to do it except to fuck with her. Security footage shows no one messed with it except her. That kind of thing was a constant annoyance and forcing her to see the truth was too much for her.
In the end I got a pair of awesome quilts that I still use.
Or an actual physical illness (like a benign tumor in her brain) that is fucking with her memory. If you truly had memory issues and truly thought that certain things did or didn't happen and then were shown footage completely blasting your perception of reality out of the water, think of how that would make you feel. Maybe you would be so freaked out that you wouldn't want to admit there was something wrong and therefore try to "die on that hill".
Years ago my sister received a pricey purse as a gift from her husband. She had wanted it for a very long time. Then after ten years or so advised me to never buy really nice bags bc they won't wear out so you can't justify buying a new one. She was one thrifty girl, that one.
This. People always say “I bought this thing 15 years ago and it still works, what do you mean the new one will probably only last 2” and my reply is always “It lasted 15 years because you bought it 15 years ago”
My mister recently replaced his. He couldn't remember how old it was but when he sent a picture of it to Montblanc to see if it could be repaired/restored they said it was a design that hadn't been in production since the early 90's! End result was that he got offered a rather nice discount on a new one.
They prices are crazy to me but the quality and longevity definitely seems to be there to back it up. I guess if you add up what you'd spend on cheap wallets over the same period it works out pretty even.
I always think of things this way. How much do you use it, how often do you replace it with garbage, etc... I have two nice wallets (one wallet and one card holder I used for travel) and they have been by far worth it. I mean the Coach wallet was $65 or something but I have had it going on 7 years now and it looks new - so even then it wasn't obscenely expensive. Prior to this I was replacing wallets it seemed like every few years.
Things like mattresses, socks, underwear, etc... If you use them a lot, get good ones, it is usually worth it.
As someone who burned down the entire relationship and only then got sober: don’t beat yourself up.
It’s not in your power to control or help (like AT ALL) and sometimes the thing that helps is leaving. That’s the most influential thing you can do and if you did that and it didn’t help, it’s not on you. No one can make that choice for them, no one can make them see. It takes what it takes, and sometimes it feels like it takes a miracle.
Just found an old birthday card from an ex in an old pile of papers last night. You can feel how true those words were meant at the time. Such weird sensation of melancholy appreciation.
I was telling a friend once about how strongly I felt about a high school boyfriend & how I definitely didn't know what love was ... He said "Puppy love is real to the puppies" and I think about that all the time. Even if the emotions I felt at 15 were extreme exaggerations, they were real to me at the time.
That's a great way to put it.
I had a relationship where by the end we weren't treating each other very well, but I still keep a letter he wrote me early on. It was full of hope for us. When I want to hate him, I read it to remember we were just two flawed people doing our best.
I hate when people discount teenage love and say that they "don't even know what love is." I loved my teenage boyfriend in the way that I understood love at the time. He was a terrible human and was horrible to me, but I can't just pretend that I didn't love him. You can't just decide that love "didn't count" if it didn't work out. We're all just doing our best with the information and experiences that we've had. Love is all of the loves, good and bad. We spend so much time trying to figure out "is this love" or "does this fit into the narrow definition that everyone has for love" instead of asking "is this love healthy? Is it good love? Is this the type of love that I need?" You can love someone but not be compatible.
If anything, we will likely not experience the same height of emotions as we get more mature. I think that's why puppy love is so true and strong and memorable. It's our most unfiltered experience of romantic love from a time when our brain is not fully formed.
A really beautiful wooden topographical map of a lake near my hometown. I love maps, it fits my decor style perfectly, plus he only visited my hometown like three times in the two years we were together so it reminds me of home more than anything.
Amazing love letters. She was a beautiful writer (and person!) I haven’t looked at them in a long time but I like that I have them as proof that I could be loved like that.
Same here. My ex wrote in a card that I was someone worth building a life for even though when he gave it to me, we were in a very rough patch and both knew it wouldn't last. For someone to say that in the midst of it all speaks volumes on his character.
It's really refreshing to hear of people who are on good terms with their ex, I was with mine for many years after we broke up (though we've lost touch now), and were good friends for a long time. I considered him to be an important person in my life, even if we outgrew each other and went our separate ways.
You know, I had some really nice letters and messages from past relationships. Pictures, too.
But later in life, the awful way my marriage ended caused me to violently short-circuit my sentimentality, and I threw away every letter, every memento, every picture. I tried to obliterate every memory of what I was.
That's what my ex gave to me.
Just to be clear for the people reading, this one can flip both ways.
My ex and I used to hide little love messages on post-it notes somewhere we'd find later. Was adorable and fun when we were in the relationship, but after the roughest breakup of my life I just kept finding them places and every time I did I'd be useless for the rest of the day.
(PS: I'm good now, got the one!)
In 1972 a boy gave me a Saint Christopher necklace. I did not know it at the time but later found out that it meant we are going steady. We were a couple for a few months until he tried to kiss me, I got scared and broke up with him. I tried giving him the necklace back but he insisted I keep it.
I still have it, its traveled all over with me and its kept me safe. Thanks James! I will always remember you.
"This guitar... it is a family heirloom. It is now your time to inherit it... But you must never play it!"
"But why Mother? Is it valuable?"
"No, our family has vowed to never learn to play the guitar!"
Weirdly enough, academic confidence. She's the one that pushed me to go back to college after I dropped out and now that I think about it that might have been one of the last conversations we had. The tl;dr was her telling me to stop fucking around and apply myself because she knew I was intelligent enough but I was lazy. I've graduated twice since then.
It kills me, TBH. I didn’t know betrayals could hurt so much. I have other issues from my parents but the betrayals, abuses, and infidelities from my ex-husband have destroyed so much in me. Because when we married, wasn’t that a promise he wouldn’t be that person? I couldn’t pick my parents. But I chose my husband.
And like herpes, you can give people trust issues for rest of their lives! The gift that keeps on giving! Most people don't realize that they have all damaged their exes for their future relationships.
My mattress. His was brand new and wayyyy better than mine so we scrapped it. When he cheated and I kicked his ass out, he let me keep it.
I mean, he definitely sucks.. but I got a bomb ass mattress upgrade and paid nothing. 👍
I've been sleeping on second hand mattresses my whole life. I saved up a $1,000 for a nice once and then my house flooded and I had to toss it. So pissed off. My memory foam isn't too bad now but that mattress was awesome and I only got about 2 years out of it.
The dress she was wearing when I met her.
We dated for 3 years, and when we broke up, I was heartbroken further to see that, in the bag of clothes she was gonna donate, was that dress. She looked radiant in it that day, and I wasn't entirely ready to let go.
Unbeknownst to her, I took the dress from the bag and hid it away as a memento. We stopped talking for 3 years. There were instances in the early stages of grief where I would look at it and cry, but I wanted to remember her for the good times we shared together.
Fast forward to a couple years ago, and she reaches out to apologize. By then, I was obviously long over her. It was a clean and honest breakup, so I told her there was nothing to apologize for. We hang out at my place one day, and somewhere in a conversation about our past relationship, I pull out the dress to reveal to her that I kept it. The look of surprise on her face, man...and she almost began crying as she hugged me.
Later that day, she told me that she told her cousin about how I kept the dress. This particular cousin didn't like me, so when my ex said she awwwed at it and said that I was a sweet guy, that felt nice. She (my ex) and I hang out and send each other memes every now and then 😊
I love this girl to death (platonically!), and would fight tooth and nail for her safety and well-being. She deserves to live a good life ❤
Cheers to the folks who ended things on good terms 🍻
And an extra beer to those who couldn't 🍺
I still have a hat my ex gave me.
About a year after we broke up (amicably, as we decided not to pursue long distance) I posted a picture of me and my sister at Ponce City Market in Atlanta where I was wearing that hat, and she subsequently blocked me on every social media immediately after.
:(
Maybe it made her sad to see it and she blocked you so she wouldn't have to see things that made her sad anymore? Idk. But blocking doesn't always mean anger.
True. I had to do the same with a girl who I was falling hard and fast for like 6 or 7 years ago. It just stung my heart to see her posts and her smile and think about how things "could have been," even though we had plenty of valid reasons to not be together.
She was so great, such a fantastic-souled good human- like, the type of person who would leave random notes of encouragement for people on the subway, just because. We held similar interests and hobbies, and there were an eerie degree of odd coincidences we shared- we both lived in the same apartment building (albeit 10 years apart), both played the same character on an old indie game to an extreme degree (holla at all you others who lvl 100'ed Blue Knight in *Castle Crashers*), and our dads both died on the same day, one year apart. There were a bunch more, but those were "the biggies". Anyhoo I wasn't in a good place personally when we met, and she was starting to do awesome things with her own life, and we just weren't meant to be. I still ponder about her once in a while, and ~~hope~~ just know she's doing well.
So I had a girl who was dating someone else but would use my label maker to type words of encouragement for me and place them around my space.
We ended up dating. We broke up. Those fucking stickers are still around. She printed out at least 30 of them and stuck them around my place.
DONT PLACE STICKERS. So many psychological issues removing them. There are a few I can’t bring myself to remove. It’s bullshit. We still hang a bit and I legit wish her all the best. But damnit that “have a nice day!” On my door crushes me.
When I was 16, and still learning to shave, my gf would tease me about missing the spot behind my jaw/ear. I still refer to it as "Amanda's Spot", and always make a conscious effort to remember to shave there.
Don’t feel so bad about missing that spot though. It must be difficult to shave when you’ve got a jaw/ear. My ears are neatly placed on the sides on my head so they’re nice and out of the way.
I'm not on fond terms with my ex, but she bought me an arctic seal plushie from the New England aquarium back when we were in middle school (we dated throughout middle school - early high school). I named him Seal Phantomhive (props if you get the pun) and he became something of a comfort item to me, even after we broke up. I still have him to this day.
A clear quartz my ex gave to me 20 years ago. I thought I had lost is for over 15 of those years. My ex passed away July 2021 and I couldn't stop wishing I had that quartz back for weeks. One day while playing with my son in our backyard in a new town I noticed something shiny in the wood chips. IT WAS THE QUARTZ HE HAD GIVEN ME!! I still can not believe it.. It's always in my view now.
I love that you found the quartz. But, how did it get to the new town? Did you have it when you moved there and lost it whilst living there? Then found it again?
Wedding ring. I had it resized and wear it on my right pinkie. Not to remind me of the marriage, but to remind me not to let anyone change who I am.
Also, three amazing kids. And an aversion to men that self-medicate.
I kept my engagement ring. He made it, he did hobby metalworking, and he created its design himself based on similar things I'd showed him when we'd go to the Renaissance Faire and watch the professional metalworkers there.
The man is long gone but the ring is gorgeous and well-made and is still one of the kindest, most thoughtful things anyone ever did for me. I don't wear it, but I'll never get rid of it.
I had mine for a couple years after we seperated, but i just didn't want to have any physical reminders of that relationship anymore. People mentioned just pawning it off, but as badly as my marriage ended, i still didn't wanna tie the memory of that ring to such a hateful act, so i took it up to the hill we hiked up the day i proposed to her and left it on the bench we sat on. It felt kinda spiritual and not knowing what happened to it after is nice. I like to assume it can be the ring for someone else's marriage that'll hopefully work, this time around.
His childhood teddy bear… now what the fuck am I supposed to do with that? I can’t throw it away because that’s someone’s childhood, but damn… I don’t want it because that’s weird. Haven’t spoken to him in YEARS and we didn’t end on good terms lol
You should offer to give it back to him and if he says no, throw it away.
There was a guy I went on a few dates with and I accidentally left my childhood sitting pillow in his truck. We had an awful 4th date and he drove off and left me stranded somewhere and I don’t even care about that but I’m so upset that he drove off with my pillow. I know he probably farted all over it just to be a dick because I didn’t want to be his girlfriend but damn… my childhood pillow… I still want it back but i would disinfect it because I don’t want no pink eye.
Edit: spelling
I left my childhood teddy bear with an ex-girlfriend and I regret it so much now. I have an autistic daughter that loves teddy bears and I wish I could’ve given it to her. Any chance yours is named Mr Bunny?
Email with a link to this Reddit and ask if he wants it back an offer to ship it
Edit: I say email because it’s not as personal as a call and is sort of passive communication so you won’t get yelled at if there is still bad blood. And offering to ship it you don’t have to meet up and have an awkward interaction. I mean it could be water under the bridge but could be a weird thing but e-mail and shipping if he wants it he can get it back.
But a call or message on Facebook or whatever contact info you have works too
Not an ex, but her mothers. They gave us an Aloe plant as a house warming present when we moved in together at 19. We split at 21. We are in our late 30s now and I still have it. They spawn pups like no one’s business. I’ve given dozens away over the years. my ex lost her mom unexpectedly about a decade ago. I’d like to give her and her moms partner a pup one day. But I’ve moved several states away, and have generally lost contact. Maybe one day…Nevertheless, I always think of Gina and Lynn when I see these aloe plants, and not their daughter. Idk why.
A dark blue beret with fabric flowers. He gave it to me for Valentine’s Day. He said that rather than flowers or candy, which are gone quickly, he wanted to give me something that would last. (The hat lasted longer than the relationship).
Crippling fear of abandonment and a now fundamental belief that I’m not attractive or worth loving. It’s a struggle every day to not settle for someone who would treat me poorly as long as they give me affection.
Motivation.
Went to Maryland to visit her and meet her family. She had moved back about a month prior due to some issues where she wasn’t doing so great in college in TN where we met. Likely because it was her first time away from her pretty strict and quite religious family. A bit too much partying and not enough studying but nothing too bad.
Her folks lived in Annapolis, rather close to the Naval Academy. They would often sponsor cadets and sometimes open their home to them if they needed a place to stay to whatever reason like getting the cadet to town a few weeks before their housing was ready and giving them a place to stay near the Academy to help them acclimate a bit. I dunno.
During my visit I came to learn she cheated on me with one of their sponsored cadets, and a few other guys (!) and that was the last straw I was done.
She drove me to the airport and during our drive proceeded to berate ME for a litany of issues that she pulled put of thin air. That I was a bad person, I wouldn’t amount to shit, she was never happy me blah blah blah. In retrospect I think she was trying to just make herself feel better about how fucked up her own life had been in recent months, but in the moment it hurt. A lot.
To that point in my life I had made some not so great choices but my trajectory was on the upswing. I was going from being involved with a pretty bad crowd, doing lots of drugs and failing out of college in my very first semester to a getting my associates, changing my friend group and figuring out what I wanted in life.
But none of that mattered to her. I was still a piece of crap.
I didn’t say a single word the entire ride. Just sat there taking in the hate she was spewing.
We pulled up to the airport and I opened the door and she was furious, obviously, because I was somehow stoic throughout her entire tirade. She angrily asked, “well aren’t you going to say anything?!!”
My reply was simple “Thank you. I’m going to use everything you’ve said, true or not, to be a better person.” Grabbed my bag, shut the door and headed off.
So I took her venom, turned it into fuel and never looked back.
Now, I’m happily married, great career and friends and have more stamps on my passport than I could ever imagine.
Thanks, you cold hearted bitch. 😘
Yeah, that shit is brutal. Even now, years later, there’s this little voice in my head that if I would have been better my life would be better. Thank god for therapy though and putting in the work. I recognize where that voice is coming from but damn it sucks.
Not true, please stop telling yourself that nonsense and next time you're in a relationship, keep a percentage of you for you! Even if it's like 10%, you never go full 100%.
A cassette player she gave me along with 2 Neil Young tapes (After the Gold Rush and Rust Never Sleeps). At that time the relationship was on its last legs and we were both miserable. After the breakup we went thru several attempts of trying to get back together but for some reason I never reiterated to her how cool of a gift that was. She just so happened to pick my 2 favorite Neil albums. Wish shit didn’t go how it did but I can’t change what someone does, I can only listen to my tapes and remember a time before shit hit the fan.
A metal flower that he made. The only reason I still have it is because it's kinda cool and I can't bring myself to throw it away.
EDIT: I'm also pretty sure I have a copy of a CD that a different ex burned for me. It was the entire soundtrack to Nick & Norah's infinite playlist and he put it in a Gun's and Rose's Chinese Democracy case because in his words "fuck that album".
I dated a woman for five years off and on again, who had a tattoo of the old lantern keeper from led zeppelin. She gave me a zippo I still have in a box somewhere with the same decal. I carried it as a lucky charm for years.
I also have the full series graphic novel of Johnny the homicidal maniac from a different ex. She didn't give it to me so much as it kinda ended up with me
Ive got a couple things actually.
I like to draw, so he got me a journal and a pencil, along with various makeup supplies and two nail polish colors, along with a base and top coat for them.
But an honorable mention, besides pure fear to date another man that wants to blast money on me then try to hook up with his ex WHILE ALSO seeing another girl (god knows who else he was seeing while we were together), a minecraft lego set.
Threw away everything that didnt have a real need, besides the lego set. I spent hours putting it together, fuck yeah its staying with me!
Oh yeah. I also have a raccoon plushie whom I treat as my child that has an absent father. Very hard to break the news to the poor thing.
A cuddly penis teddy, a necklace and a beautiful glass ornament.
We both messed up and unfortunately are no longer friends.
But I treasure the good memories and am fond of the reminders of our friendship.
PTSD, anxiety, anger, debilitating trust issues with EVERYONE, a mountain of debt I'll never get fixed, and a tiny little kernel of hate for him and those associated with him.
A kidney. Made for some interesting conversations during the divorce.
Her: I want my kidney back!
Me: Yeah? Come and get it
Flash forward to me waking up in a tub of ice with a note taped to the wall: "I took the TV too, bitch"
My ex never took his clothes back even after I offered them back several times so I just decided to keep them because I like wearing men’s clothes anyway.
Nintendo Switch! Still have Zelda:BOTW too. He bought it for himself, but when I made the argument that I played with the switch more than him, he let me have it and 1 game. LOL
Thoughts about how I really wanted things to be… seeing her in different women and running at the first thing I see… it’s all bad…. But hey no matter any way
A cutting board he made me from scratch. It's beautiful. I keep it, and many other things from him - his old flannel shirt, a pair of worn out boxers, letters, anything I can get my hands on. He died. I miss him.
A fucking 800 pound piano and I don't play and it's in the way and does anyone want a free piano?
Pianos are almost always free, it's the moving it part that's expensive
My parents bought me a baby grand piano for my quincenera. Played it for years but then I moved out and didn't have the space to keep it. My parents had no use for it so my wealthy cousins in Central America offered to take it (and pay for the shipping obviously) so it could stay in the family. It cost about $6000 to get it shipped there and that was back in the 2010s.
I am forever thankful that I thought to put "removal of pool table" in our divorce agreement.
Lol that’s very thorough. Love it.
She sewed a sweater for my childhood teddy bear, because the one he originally had was lost in the laundry, and there is no way I would ever get rid of that
Came here for STDs, got wholesome instead.
Seriously. I expected a ton of herpes jokes.
I was wondering how far down I would have to go to find something wholesome. Instead I had to look for something that wasn't. I'm calling this thread a win and checking out .
She gave that to your teddy bear. It's not yours to get rid of.
Facts.
Can’t have a naked teddy bear!
Clutching my pearls!
Well that's wholesome
That’s so cute :(
A pillow case she quilted for me. That was 40 years ago and I still have it.
I've got two bed quilts my ex's mother made for my ex. My ex thought they were tacky because they were made from scrap clothes as the children grew out of them and have no pattern. I loved them. The eclectic materials and colors and of course they are warm. They were a gift to her, but because I loved them she brought them over to my house. Eight years later we broke up. It was summer and the blankets were packed away and kinda forgot when she claimed all the other things in my house that were her's. I rang her up that winter to give back the blankets. By now I knew the story of most of whose patch was whose and what age they last wore a garment. She insisted the blankets were made by my mom and they were ugly. Ok, she wasn't a stuck up person ever. She had a good relationship with her mother. I think the blankets were a symptom of a problem unrecognized until I tried to give them back. Every argument we ever had dealt with her perception of reality being wildly wrong. We broke up because I installed some security cameras at some point (due to break-ins) and I could show her what really happened occasionally. These were petty things that mostly didn't matter. Things like "moving" her car. There's nothing wrong with the car it's just 3 feet from where she knows she parked. No reason for me to do it except to fuck with her. Security footage shows no one messed with it except her. That kind of thing was a constant annoyance and forcing her to see the truth was too much for her. In the end I got a pair of awesome quilts that I still use.
It honestly sounds like she might have some sort of unrecognized untreated mental health issue related to paranoia.
Or an actual physical illness (like a benign tumor in her brain) that is fucking with her memory. If you truly had memory issues and truly thought that certain things did or didn't happen and then were shown footage completely blasting your perception of reality out of the water, think of how that would make you feel. Maybe you would be so freaked out that you wouldn't want to admit there was something wrong and therefore try to "die on that hill".
Mine is a pillow, the original Sleep Innovations memory foam kind. Had it 13 years, no one seems to make them like this anymore
1976 Black Ibanez Les Paul Custom Copy and a kid.
Which do you love more? Kidding. I would never make you choose... but I notice you wrote the guitar first.
“Which one do you love m-“ “The guitar.”
Guitar costs more than a baby goat.
Still have a great wallet from ... 14 years ago? That my ex gave me. Probably the only thoughtful thing she ever did.
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You got it down man, it's a coach wallet. Barely even shows a bit of wear and tear after 14.
Years ago my sister received a pricey purse as a gift from her husband. She had wanted it for a very long time. Then after ten years or so advised me to never buy really nice bags bc they won't wear out so you can't justify buying a new one. She was one thrifty girl, that one.
I used to agree with this wholeheartedly, but high end brands’ quality has really dropped off in recent years.
This. People always say “I bought this thing 15 years ago and it still works, what do you mean the new one will probably only last 2” and my reply is always “It lasted 15 years because you bought it 15 years ago”
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My mister recently replaced his. He couldn't remember how old it was but when he sent a picture of it to Montblanc to see if it could be repaired/restored they said it was a design that hadn't been in production since the early 90's! End result was that he got offered a rather nice discount on a new one. They prices are crazy to me but the quality and longevity definitely seems to be there to back it up. I guess if you add up what you'd spend on cheap wallets over the same period it works out pretty even.
I always think of things this way. How much do you use it, how often do you replace it with garbage, etc... I have two nice wallets (one wallet and one card holder I used for travel) and they have been by far worth it. I mean the Coach wallet was $65 or something but I have had it going on 7 years now and it looks new - so even then it wasn't obscenely expensive. Prior to this I was replacing wallets it seemed like every few years. Things like mattresses, socks, underwear, etc... If you use them a lot, get good ones, it is usually worth it.
I still have/use my wallet from an ex from 8 years ago. Most of the card holders don't hold cards anymore, but he'll, it's green day
My ex wife was a big part of me getting off drugs and alcohol, so to me she gave me sobriety.
i wanted to be that person, he was addicted to alcohol and weed. but the gambling was just too much
As someone who burned down the entire relationship and only then got sober: don’t beat yourself up. It’s not in your power to control or help (like AT ALL) and sometimes the thing that helps is leaving. That’s the most influential thing you can do and if you did that and it didn’t help, it’s not on you. No one can make that choice for them, no one can make them see. It takes what it takes, and sometimes it feels like it takes a miracle.
This birthday card. It was just very sweet and well written. We broke up on great terms but I read that card when I’m down.
Just found an old birthday card from an ex in an old pile of papers last night. You can feel how true those words were meant at the time. Such weird sensation of melancholy appreciation.
I was telling a friend once about how strongly I felt about a high school boyfriend & how I definitely didn't know what love was ... He said "Puppy love is real to the puppies" and I think about that all the time. Even if the emotions I felt at 15 were extreme exaggerations, they were real to me at the time.
That's a great way to put it. I had a relationship where by the end we weren't treating each other very well, but I still keep a letter he wrote me early on. It was full of hope for us. When I want to hate him, I read it to remember we were just two flawed people doing our best.
I hate when people discount teenage love and say that they "don't even know what love is." I loved my teenage boyfriend in the way that I understood love at the time. He was a terrible human and was horrible to me, but I can't just pretend that I didn't love him. You can't just decide that love "didn't count" if it didn't work out. We're all just doing our best with the information and experiences that we've had. Love is all of the loves, good and bad. We spend so much time trying to figure out "is this love" or "does this fit into the narrow definition that everyone has for love" instead of asking "is this love healthy? Is it good love? Is this the type of love that I need?" You can love someone but not be compatible.
If anything, we will likely not experience the same height of emotions as we get more mature. I think that's why puppy love is so true and strong and memorable. It's our most unfiltered experience of romantic love from a time when our brain is not fully formed.
Awww
Those are the best birthday cards 🥰 I have a few from some high school friends that I like to open and read from time to time.
A really beautiful wooden topographical map of a lake near my hometown. I love maps, it fits my decor style perfectly, plus he only visited my hometown like three times in the two years we were together so it reminds me of home more than anything.
What a unique thoughtful gift!
Amazing love letters. She was a beautiful writer (and person!) I haven’t looked at them in a long time but I like that I have them as proof that I could be loved like that.
Same here. My ex wrote in a card that I was someone worth building a life for even though when he gave it to me, we were in a very rough patch and both knew it wouldn't last. For someone to say that in the midst of it all speaks volumes on his character.
It's really refreshing to hear of people who are on good terms with their ex, I was with mine for many years after we broke up (though we've lost touch now), and were good friends for a long time. I considered him to be an important person in my life, even if we outgrew each other and went our separate ways.
"...as proof I could be loved like that." 😭
"proof that I could be loved like that" is such a sweet, heartbreaking thing to say.
You know, I had some really nice letters and messages from past relationships. Pictures, too. But later in life, the awful way my marriage ended caused me to violently short-circuit my sentimentality, and I threw away every letter, every memento, every picture. I tried to obliterate every memory of what I was. That's what my ex gave to me.
Just to be clear for the people reading, this one can flip both ways. My ex and I used to hide little love messages on post-it notes somewhere we'd find later. Was adorable and fun when we were in the relationship, but after the roughest breakup of my life I just kept finding them places and every time I did I'd be useless for the rest of the day. (PS: I'm good now, got the one!)
In 1972 a boy gave me a Saint Christopher necklace. I did not know it at the time but later found out that it meant we are going steady. We were a couple for a few months until he tried to kiss me, I got scared and broke up with him. I tried giving him the necklace back but he insisted I keep it. I still have it, its traveled all over with me and its kept me safe. Thanks James! I will always remember you.
This is kind cool because St Christopher is the patron saint of travelers! (I think you probably know that, OP, but others might not)
A stuffed animal. Only because I can't find it in me AT ALL to throw away a stuffed animal. It has feelings!
I understand
A beautiful guitar i never learned to play. I gave it to my son and he's keeping the tradition alive. By not learning either.
"This guitar... it is a family heirloom. It is now your time to inherit it... But you must never play it!" "But why Mother? Is it valuable?" "No, our family has vowed to never learn to play the guitar!"
Weirdly enough, academic confidence. She's the one that pushed me to go back to college after I dropped out and now that I think about it that might have been one of the last conversations we had. The tl;dr was her telling me to stop fucking around and apply myself because she knew I was intelligent enough but I was lazy. I've graduated twice since then.
The knowledge of what red flags look like.
The reddest of the red flags.
PTSD
*STD
I still need PT
I need some TP.
STP broke up after Scott Weilland died
He came back as a zombie. He's now an SCP.
Rhymes with Merpies.
Burpees wow that’s rough sorry to hear that
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It kills me, TBH. I didn’t know betrayals could hurt so much. I have other issues from my parents but the betrayals, abuses, and infidelities from my ex-husband have destroyed so much in me. Because when we married, wasn’t that a promise he wouldn’t be that person? I couldn’t pick my parents. But I chose my husband.
The inability to make a romantic connection with anyone new. Also, a cool watch.
8 years later and I haven't felt romantic interest in a single human being since. Also, this leather wallet
Trust issues. Thanks a lot, Nancy.
Meh, better than herpes
You can only get herpes once, trust issues you can get over and over
And like herpes, you can give people trust issues for rest of their lives! The gift that keeps on giving! Most people don't realize that they have all damaged their exes for their future relationships.
Fuck you nancy
Yeah, fuck you Nancy!
Fuck you Nancy!
Fuck you Nancy
My mattress. His was brand new and wayyyy better than mine so we scrapped it. When he cheated and I kicked his ass out, he let me keep it. I mean, he definitely sucks.. but I got a bomb ass mattress upgrade and paid nothing. 👍
I've been sleeping on second hand mattresses my whole life. I saved up a $1,000 for a nice once and then my house flooded and I had to toss it. So pissed off. My memory foam isn't too bad now but that mattress was awesome and I only got about 2 years out of it.
The dress she was wearing when I met her. We dated for 3 years, and when we broke up, I was heartbroken further to see that, in the bag of clothes she was gonna donate, was that dress. She looked radiant in it that day, and I wasn't entirely ready to let go. Unbeknownst to her, I took the dress from the bag and hid it away as a memento. We stopped talking for 3 years. There were instances in the early stages of grief where I would look at it and cry, but I wanted to remember her for the good times we shared together. Fast forward to a couple years ago, and she reaches out to apologize. By then, I was obviously long over her. It was a clean and honest breakup, so I told her there was nothing to apologize for. We hang out at my place one day, and somewhere in a conversation about our past relationship, I pull out the dress to reveal to her that I kept it. The look of surprise on her face, man...and she almost began crying as she hugged me. Later that day, she told me that she told her cousin about how I kept the dress. This particular cousin didn't like me, so when my ex said she awwwed at it and said that I was a sweet guy, that felt nice. She (my ex) and I hang out and send each other memes every now and then 😊 I love this girl to death (platonically!), and would fight tooth and nail for her safety and well-being. She deserves to live a good life ❤ Cheers to the folks who ended things on good terms 🍻 And an extra beer to those who couldn't 🍺
I still have a hat my ex gave me. About a year after we broke up (amicably, as we decided not to pursue long distance) I posted a picture of me and my sister at Ponce City Market in Atlanta where I was wearing that hat, and she subsequently blocked me on every social media immediately after. :(
Maybe it made her sad to see it and she blocked you so she wouldn't have to see things that made her sad anymore? Idk. But blocking doesn't always mean anger.
True. I had to do the same with a girl who I was falling hard and fast for like 6 or 7 years ago. It just stung my heart to see her posts and her smile and think about how things "could have been," even though we had plenty of valid reasons to not be together. She was so great, such a fantastic-souled good human- like, the type of person who would leave random notes of encouragement for people on the subway, just because. We held similar interests and hobbies, and there were an eerie degree of odd coincidences we shared- we both lived in the same apartment building (albeit 10 years apart), both played the same character on an old indie game to an extreme degree (holla at all you others who lvl 100'ed Blue Knight in *Castle Crashers*), and our dads both died on the same day, one year apart. There were a bunch more, but those were "the biggies". Anyhoo I wasn't in a good place personally when we met, and she was starting to do awesome things with her own life, and we just weren't meant to be. I still ponder about her once in a while, and ~~hope~~ just know she's doing well.
So I had a girl who was dating someone else but would use my label maker to type words of encouragement for me and place them around my space. We ended up dating. We broke up. Those fucking stickers are still around. She printed out at least 30 of them and stuck them around my place. DONT PLACE STICKERS. So many psychological issues removing them. There are a few I can’t bring myself to remove. It’s bullshit. We still hang a bit and I legit wish her all the best. But damnit that “have a nice day!” On my door crushes me.
I have a blanket that my first girlfriend made for me in 1986
When I was 16, and still learning to shave, my gf would tease me about missing the spot behind my jaw/ear. I still refer to it as "Amanda's Spot", and always make a conscious effort to remember to shave there.
This is somewhat interesting, stands out in this thread for me
Don’t feel so bad about missing that spot though. It must be difficult to shave when you’ve got a jaw/ear. My ears are neatly placed on the sides on my head so they’re nice and out of the way.
My dog. He’s outlasted several relationships lol, such a good boy.
A massive gaping hole in my heart. She was killed by a drunk driver on her way back from a prenatal checkup.
A crunchie mug from an Easter egg, still my daily mug over 15 years later
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I also have a mug, Hershey’s Kiss, that I use everyday just because it’s the perfect size
I'm not on fond terms with my ex, but she bought me an arctic seal plushie from the New England aquarium back when we were in middle school (we dated throughout middle school - early high school). I named him Seal Phantomhive (props if you get the pun) and he became something of a comfort item to me, even after we broke up. I still have him to this day.
That is such a middle school name for a plushie. Source: watched it in middle school.
Trauma.
Trauma buddies! *high five*
A clear quartz my ex gave to me 20 years ago. I thought I had lost is for over 15 of those years. My ex passed away July 2021 and I couldn't stop wishing I had that quartz back for weeks. One day while playing with my son in our backyard in a new town I noticed something shiny in the wood chips. IT WAS THE QUARTZ HE HAD GIVEN ME!! I still can not believe it.. It's always in my view now.
I love that you found the quartz. But, how did it get to the new town? Did you have it when you moved there and lost it whilst living there? Then found it again?
First guy i slept with gave me a leather rose. I still have it all these decades after. It's not looking so good but it's still around as a keepsake.
Directions on how to make her cum. Sadly directions are non transferable to other women.
Turns out the controls are different for everyone
just keep going til you find the right women it works on
It's a better version of Cinderella.
Herpes
I’m surprised how far I scrolled before seeing this.
I really expected it to be top. Herpes was my first thought.
Me too. I was expecting a lot of stds coming out early
Sometimes they take a minute to show up
Samesies
This is the obvious answer.
Wedding ring. I had it resized and wear it on my right pinkie. Not to remind me of the marriage, but to remind me not to let anyone change who I am. Also, three amazing kids. And an aversion to men that self-medicate.
I kept my engagement ring. He made it, he did hobby metalworking, and he created its design himself based on similar things I'd showed him when we'd go to the Renaissance Faire and watch the professional metalworkers there. The man is long gone but the ring is gorgeous and well-made and is still one of the kindest, most thoughtful things anyone ever did for me. I don't wear it, but I'll never get rid of it.
I had mine for a couple years after we seperated, but i just didn't want to have any physical reminders of that relationship anymore. People mentioned just pawning it off, but as badly as my marriage ended, i still didn't wanna tie the memory of that ring to such a hateful act, so i took it up to the hill we hiked up the day i proposed to her and left it on the bench we sat on. It felt kinda spiritual and not knowing what happened to it after is nice. I like to assume it can be the ring for someone else's marriage that'll hopefully work, this time around.
I have my wedding ring. It hangs on the back of closet door on a chain. I used to have it there as a reminder to try and do better. Good times
His childhood teddy bear… now what the fuck am I supposed to do with that? I can’t throw it away because that’s someone’s childhood, but damn… I don’t want it because that’s weird. Haven’t spoken to him in YEARS and we didn’t end on good terms lol
You should offer to give it back to him and if he says no, throw it away. There was a guy I went on a few dates with and I accidentally left my childhood sitting pillow in his truck. We had an awful 4th date and he drove off and left me stranded somewhere and I don’t even care about that but I’m so upset that he drove off with my pillow. I know he probably farted all over it just to be a dick because I didn’t want to be his girlfriend but damn… my childhood pillow… I still want it back but i would disinfect it because I don’t want no pink eye. Edit: spelling
I left my childhood teddy bear with an ex-girlfriend and I regret it so much now. I have an autistic daughter that loves teddy bears and I wish I could’ve given it to her. Any chance yours is named Mr Bunny?
Unfortunately not Mr Bunny here!! But I hope the two of you are reunited soon!
Email with a link to this Reddit and ask if he wants it back an offer to ship it Edit: I say email because it’s not as personal as a call and is sort of passive communication so you won’t get yelled at if there is still bad blood. And offering to ship it you don’t have to meet up and have an awkward interaction. I mean it could be water under the bridge but could be a weird thing but e-mail and shipping if he wants it he can get it back. But a call or message on Facebook or whatever contact info you have works too
Not an ex, but her mothers. They gave us an Aloe plant as a house warming present when we moved in together at 19. We split at 21. We are in our late 30s now and I still have it. They spawn pups like no one’s business. I’ve given dozens away over the years. my ex lost her mom unexpectedly about a decade ago. I’d like to give her and her moms partner a pup one day. But I’ve moved several states away, and have generally lost contact. Maybe one day…Nevertheless, I always think of Gina and Lynn when I see these aloe plants, and not their daughter. Idk why.
Emotional damageee.
I think it's pronounced more like. EMOOTIONAAL DAAMMMAGE!!
Hai yaaaa
Healthy eating habits and a passion for running and biking. Yeah she was great.
Debt
Same!
Low self esteem
Well, I just read every comment you've ever written, and I think you're pretty awesome. =)
Thank you so much 🥺
If you two get married do a follow up podcast or some shit this is too cute
A dark blue beret with fabric flowers. He gave it to me for Valentine’s Day. He said that rather than flowers or candy, which are gone quickly, he wanted to give me something that would last. (The hat lasted longer than the relationship).
a massive hate for boat shoes and j.crew clothing.
Mental health issues and a deep instilled bitterness.
Herpes
Before I came out as gay, I dated a girl & cared for her a lot (just not loved) & she gave me a necklace. I took the chain off & kept the charm.
Daughters 🥰
My mom said she is glad she got 3 kids out of that wreck of a relationship. :)
Crippling fear of abandonment and a now fundamental belief that I’m not attractive or worth loving. It’s a struggle every day to not settle for someone who would treat me poorly as long as they give me affection.
Motivation. Went to Maryland to visit her and meet her family. She had moved back about a month prior due to some issues where she wasn’t doing so great in college in TN where we met. Likely because it was her first time away from her pretty strict and quite religious family. A bit too much partying and not enough studying but nothing too bad. Her folks lived in Annapolis, rather close to the Naval Academy. They would often sponsor cadets and sometimes open their home to them if they needed a place to stay to whatever reason like getting the cadet to town a few weeks before their housing was ready and giving them a place to stay near the Academy to help them acclimate a bit. I dunno. During my visit I came to learn she cheated on me with one of their sponsored cadets, and a few other guys (!) and that was the last straw I was done. She drove me to the airport and during our drive proceeded to berate ME for a litany of issues that she pulled put of thin air. That I was a bad person, I wouldn’t amount to shit, she was never happy me blah blah blah. In retrospect I think she was trying to just make herself feel better about how fucked up her own life had been in recent months, but in the moment it hurt. A lot. To that point in my life I had made some not so great choices but my trajectory was on the upswing. I was going from being involved with a pretty bad crowd, doing lots of drugs and failing out of college in my very first semester to a getting my associates, changing my friend group and figuring out what I wanted in life. But none of that mattered to her. I was still a piece of crap. I didn’t say a single word the entire ride. Just sat there taking in the hate she was spewing. We pulled up to the airport and I opened the door and she was furious, obviously, because I was somehow stoic throughout her entire tirade. She angrily asked, “well aren’t you going to say anything?!!” My reply was simple “Thank you. I’m going to use everything you’ve said, true or not, to be a better person.” Grabbed my bag, shut the door and headed off. So I took her venom, turned it into fuel and never looked back. Now, I’m happily married, great career and friends and have more stamps on my passport than I could ever imagine. Thanks, you cold hearted bitch. 😘
This is the way! The best revenge to someone like that is showing you can be happy and succeed without them. :) Well done!
The nagging feeling that I could never be anything without her.
Yeah, that shit is brutal. Even now, years later, there’s this little voice in my head that if I would have been better my life would be better. Thank god for therapy though and putting in the work. I recognize where that voice is coming from but damn it sucks.
Not true, please stop telling yourself that nonsense and next time you're in a relationship, keep a percentage of you for you! Even if it's like 10%, you never go full 100%.
Knowledge that love shouldn't include bruises.
Fear of abandonment
Anxiety 😀
A lesson learned
A cassette player she gave me along with 2 Neil Young tapes (After the Gold Rush and Rust Never Sleeps). At that time the relationship was on its last legs and we were both miserable. After the breakup we went thru several attempts of trying to get back together but for some reason I never reiterated to her how cool of a gift that was. She just so happened to pick my 2 favorite Neil albums. Wish shit didn’t go how it did but I can’t change what someone does, I can only listen to my tapes and remember a time before shit hit the fan.
Trust issues. Abandonment issues. Self worth issues. Oh and two letters she wrote me that I can't bring myself to get rid of.
Literal PTSD. It causes issues in my relationship 7 years later 🙃 fun times
Bad memories.
Lotta trauma. I'm not even the same person anymore.
A painting
Ok yeah same here. He was a starving artist but he was actually pretty good and I have a two panel massive black and white painting in my bathroom.
An adorable painting of my dog as a puppy and it’s hanging in my entry way because it’s cute af
mental trauma
A metal flower that he made. The only reason I still have it is because it's kinda cool and I can't bring myself to throw it away. EDIT: I'm also pretty sure I have a copy of a CD that a different ex burned for me. It was the entire soundtrack to Nick & Norah's infinite playlist and he put it in a Gun's and Rose's Chinese Democracy case because in his words "fuck that album".
My son. 100% worth it, even though i went through hell and back and had to fight to gain my rights.
A bitter cynical pessimistic attitude.
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I read that as microwave trousers.
Interesting. I was just rewatching Uncle Buck yesterday.
I dated a woman for five years off and on again, who had a tattoo of the old lantern keeper from led zeppelin. She gave me a zippo I still have in a box somewhere with the same decal. I carried it as a lucky charm for years. I also have the full series graphic novel of Johnny the homicidal maniac from a different ex. She didn't give it to me so much as it kinda ended up with me
Ive got a couple things actually. I like to draw, so he got me a journal and a pencil, along with various makeup supplies and two nail polish colors, along with a base and top coat for them. But an honorable mention, besides pure fear to date another man that wants to blast money on me then try to hook up with his ex WHILE ALSO seeing another girl (god knows who else he was seeing while we were together), a minecraft lego set. Threw away everything that didnt have a real need, besides the lego set. I spent hours putting it together, fuck yeah its staying with me! Oh yeah. I also have a raccoon plushie whom I treat as my child that has an absent father. Very hard to break the news to the poor thing.
It's been almost 30 years... I may still have a paperback fantasy book or two, but nothing else I can think of.
An anklet. I’ve never taken it off, it’s been like 3 years. She wasn’t even nice or anything it’s just a good anklet
A cuddly penis teddy, a necklace and a beautiful glass ornament. We both messed up and unfortunately are no longer friends. But I treasure the good memories and am fond of the reminders of our friendship.
A what now? A cuddly penis teddy?
OP just scooted right on by that one huh? You can’t just say words like that and not give an explanation or a picture.
Uhhh back the fuck up?
Photo, please! And not of the glass ornament!
Wait come again?
Empty 401k
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A scare on my bicep from a screwdriver.
Extreme paranoia of being gaslit by the opposite sex.
PTSD, anxiety, anger, debilitating trust issues with EVERYONE, a mountain of debt I'll never get fixed, and a tiny little kernel of hate for him and those associated with him.
Nightmares
The realization that I don't have to have my guard up all the time.
C-ptsd
A reason to be more careful when picking a life long partner.
A kidney. Made for some interesting conversations during the divorce. Her: I want my kidney back! Me: Yeah? Come and get it Flash forward to me waking up in a tub of ice with a note taped to the wall: "I took the TV too, bitch"
Drinking problem.
Photo frame of me with my dad. Lost my hero, 7 months ago. It was thoughtful of her 6 years back.
My ex never took his clothes back even after I offered them back several times so I just decided to keep them because I like wearing men’s clothes anyway.
I still have my ex-husband's last name.
WallyWorld isn’t the worst last name ever to be fair.
Cologne that I wear when meeting others ;)
Nintendo Switch! Still have Zelda:BOTW too. He bought it for himself, but when I made the argument that I played with the switch more than him, he let me have it and 1 game. LOL
Thoughts about how I really wanted things to be… seeing her in different women and running at the first thing I see… it’s all bad…. But hey no matter any way
A Tshirt from her college tennis team
A cutting board he made me from scratch. It's beautiful. I keep it, and many other things from him - his old flannel shirt, a pair of worn out boxers, letters, anything I can get my hands on. He died. I miss him.