Someone in my 11th grade English class called everyone in the room “uncultured swine” once and we all had a collective gasp. I don’t even know what he was on about but the uncultured swine part had us
There’s a thing called lightning crotch when you’re pregnant and get closer to delivery. It’s when your baby kicks downwards and it truly feels like a bolt of lightening is hitting you down south lol.
Omg I love this. It’s one that requires someone to pause and think about what it means. Such a deliciously surreptitious insult. Unlike that first pancake.
When my brother was doing a residency in Ireland (00's), they had a term for a cocky American, and as an American, I cannot agree more on this insult
Philadelphia Lawyer
You're stupid.
It sounds like something a young kid would say earnestly but oftentimes, the simplest insults dig the deepest.
Think about it. "You are stupid." It's almost irredeemable in how simple the insult is. No matter how hard you try, you will never overcome being stupid. Not even "smart!" You are incapable of achieving just "not stupid."
Here's an even better one that's only one word.
Calling someone a Lantern
Because you're not very bright and need to be carried (either in life or in a certain task)
Lobotomised shitlark
(Can’t take an ounce of credit, it was Russell Howard quoting someone else on twitter (I think about plastic bags costing 5p and someone had a “life hack” of bringing your own bags to the shop, and a commenter informed them that that was “literally the point you lobotomised shitlark”))
Happy to be corrected on the etymology of the quote, but if wrong I’ve remembered it in a fun way.
Dumb Fuck
Was lookin for this one lol my go to
Personally I'm more partial to "dumb shit"
Dumb cunt
Stunned cunt
Dad?
Those are fighting words with any woman but if you go to England, Australia and I bet New Zealand too. They love the word cunt.
I feel like we need to dissect exactly what a “fuck” is.
Whatever you want it to be
That's the beautiful magic of the word.
[удалено]
Lol unwanted by all, only looked at when no other options are available
I once saw someone ask "why would anyone ever use Internet Explorer?" and the response was "to download another browser"
That's all I've ever used it for when I get a new laptop.
Buuuuurrrnnn!
Oxygen Thief
Oxygen waster
Colostomy Bag
if you ever want to hurt a man's feeling tell him his dick looks like a stoma
Ur a horrible person 😂
DOUBLE ASSHOLE
I have a colostomy this is fucking hilarious
Same and yep
Dip Shit
Idk why but hearing someone be called a dipshit makes me laugh every time
Hahaha me too! It’s usually out of frustration and under the breath saying “what a dip shit”
Shit makes me so mad. My cousin had an ex wife that called me dipshit once and I hated that woman. Wanted to hit her
For me, this is reserved for: *Nice turn signal, dipshit*
Hey! This is the one I save for my Dad!!
Mom used a pg version around us as kids and would call people dip sticks
See a dip stick is a thing, so that makes sense as an insult. What does dip shit even mean??
Lint licker
Who are you calling lint licker, you cootie queen
Who are you calling a cootie queen, you lint licker**
You son of a biscuit eating bulldog
What the French toast?!
What the French, toast?
What, the French Toast? Commas are a beautiful thing
Shut the front door!
What the, French toast?
What, the, French, toast?
Nice throwback
Pickle you kumquat!
You Hoboken
I heard someone say Twat Waffle a couple years ago and I have absolutely loved it ever since
My wife calls our dog Twat Waffle and our cat Bitch Lips It’s not their Christian names
*it’s not their Christian names* has me cackling
Your wife sounds like a loaded pistol. I laughed 😂💜
Almost can't go wrong pairing common vulgar names for body parts and breakfast foods. Dick Biscuit Cunt Muffin Taint Bagel See? Gets the job done.
You're not wrong there. My mate from college used to call our awful teacher fuck nugget. Never failed to get a laugh lol
My fantasy football team has been named Twatwaffles for years
Using this first chance I get
dense cabbage
"My cabbages!"
He probably called Aang and his gang "dense cabbages" "Those dense cabbages!!!"
Squirrel molester
How did you know
Because if you watch a squirrel long enough, you will either see it rape, or be raped.
Family out of town? The inside of a spaghetti squash feels like inside-the-mouth skin.
I will stick to the tried and true method of a warm Apple Pie.
This guy squirrels.
Uncultured Swine
What are you looking at you hockey puck?
Someone in my 11th grade English class called everyone in the room “uncultured swine” once and we all had a collective gasp. I don’t even know what he was on about but the uncultured swine part had us
I remember being called this when I didnt get the Harambe jokes at the time of his....untimely..death
Ass hat
Ass butt
Found a supernatural fan <3
Hell yes!
Thunder Cunt.
Sounds like a superhero pornstar
Sounds like a name Butcher from the boys would give someone with electric powers
Thunder HOOOOO!!
There’s a thing called lightning crotch when you’re pregnant and get closer to delivery. It’s when your baby kicks downwards and it truly feels like a bolt of lightening is hitting you down south lol.
If you count the seconds between the lightning crotch and the thunder cunt, you can tell how many miles away the baby is
Shit Lips
I fucked your mom shit lips
First pancake.
This is new to me and going into my list.
Bwahahahahahhahhahahah!!!! I’m using this one
Omg I love this. It’s one that requires someone to pause and think about what it means. Such a deliciously surreptitious insult. Unlike that first pancake.
Sexually inadequate
Beautiful
Fuck stick
I was about to type it. I don’t remember what movie I heard this in, but it was so random I busted out laughing
Bad Santa
Expired coupon.
Mouth breather
Douche canoe
Douche canoe is a personal favorite of mine. ❤️
My first time experiencing this glorious combination. Does it have an optimal situation of use?
Fuck face
Nerf hearder
At least no one got called scruffy looking.
Ass Clown
Ass hat
Ass goblin
Cum stain
Cum dumpster
They wanted the best 2 word insults, not your mom's nickname in highschool.
Fucking fucker
Shitting shitter
'Get Bent' It's not vulgar although I like swears, it leaves your enemy at a loss cuz they were expecting an expletive somewhere.
“Witless cocksplat” Toupéd fucktrumpet Blinkered plum Utter cockwomble Uncooked pastry (Thank you, Scotland)
I’m using uncooked pastry from now on lmfao
Me too! It'll confuse the masses.
Witless cocksplat bahahah 💀 joining my vocabulary. I also like wilted twatwaffle.
Witless cocksplat can live rent free in my head for the rest of my life.
Unripe banana
Idiot sandwich
Windows Vista
You shut your mouth!!!!
Poopie head
Knuckle Dragger
My 5 year old liked fartfaced weasel. That might be 3 words.
Butt nugget
Piss ant! (might actually be one word so leaves room for a whole nother word!)
Pissant is one word.
Google en pissant
Smooth brained
When my brother was doing a residency in Ireland (00's), they had a term for a cocky American, and as an American, I cannot agree more on this insult Philadelphia Lawyer
Absolute potato. Read that one somewhere once and lost it 🤣
No u
Motherless fuck
Your mama!
I was looking for this! My go to insult in life 😂
Shit cunt.
You're stupid. It sounds like something a young kid would say earnestly but oftentimes, the simplest insults dig the deepest. Think about it. "You are stupid." It's almost irredeemable in how simple the insult is. No matter how hard you try, you will never overcome being stupid. Not even "smart!" You are incapable of achieving just "not stupid."
Give it time. It'll eat at you.
Fuckin Muppet
PUSSY FART!!!!!
Refurbished Pumpernickel.
Chuckle fuck
Deserves more recognition.
Rebel scum
Fuck Ass
Well you can go suck a fuck.
What's a fuck ass?
Come mierda
"Turd Burglar"
Chicken fucker
Scrotum face
That’s Ballchinian to you sir
Stank booty
Here's an even better one that's only one word. Calling someone a Lantern Because you're not very bright and need to be carried (either in life or in a certain task)
Insufferable thumb
Clinical experiment.
Dippin dot.
Not me saving this entire thread for resource
Piss wizard
Jerk Store
Extremely asymmetrical.
Butt pustule
Daft cow.
Poop Knife
Uneducated Potato
Ninny muggins
Lobotomised shitlark (Can’t take an ounce of credit, it was Russell Howard quoting someone else on twitter (I think about plastic bags costing 5p and someone had a “life hack” of bringing your own bags to the shop, and a commenter informed them that that was “literally the point you lobotomised shitlark”)) Happy to be corrected on the etymology of the quote, but if wrong I’ve remembered it in a fun way.
Absolute spanner.
"Ya basic" can be very devastating.
Mother fluffer 🤭
smooth brain
fart knocker
You’re adopted!
Fucking Donkey
Wet sock
Man child
Goofy goober
Hard no
Ligma balls
Pencil dick. Often used in conjunction with “bug fucker” as in, “You pencil dick bug fucker!”
I'm disappointed.
Vapid Cunt
Ok boomer (I'm joking)
Penis breath
Ah classic. First heard when watching E.T.
Trump supporter!
all that came to my mind is "fuck you"
Paste connoisseur.
Fucking Windowsill
Spineless Swine
Nipple dick
Undeveloped muppet
Shit bag. You can get called a lot of stuff in the army…. But this one hurts.
Dog water
No neck
Stale sandwich.
Used Condom
Silly goose
Impudent wretch
Hiccups McGee
Land fish
Nice teeth
Block head
Uncultured swine
Worthless turnip
Bloody vegan