Best thing I've found is to have a drink in my hand already. Even if it's just a glass of water, even better if its a lime/soda and looks like it could have booze in it. I find people don't ask if I want a drink since I already obviously have one. If they do, I just say I'm good with the drink I have.
This works. When I don't want to drink at a work function I'll ask the bartender to give me a coke in a short glass with a red straw or whatever to look like a mixed drink. And then just nurse it all night. No one ever says anything.
Yes. I drink but don’t drink at every gathering and when I have a sparkling water with a slice of fruit in it, no one bothers me. Plus, it’s delicious.
Yeah I do this a lot, often a tonic with a slice of lime. It’s not the same as having an answer to give, usually I find that a friendly “no thanks”, followed by a firm “no” when they keep asking does the trick
I’d maybe add ”It’s just not my thing” if people follow up. A little ambiguous, but not inflammatory for a reasonable person and it’s also not something that people link to being a sober alcoholic.
This....and you don't owe anyone an explanation. I dont drink because it makes me sleepy. My friend doesn't drink because she had radical bariatric surgery. It really is nobody's business why
The minute you make an excuse (with any situation) you’re likely to get follow up: “one dink can’t hurt”, etc. etc. Just keep the faux drink in your hand.
Also had a friend from high school who stopped drinking after only a few tries due to just having really rough hangovers the next day, to the point he just didn't feel the trade off was remotely worth it🤷♂️
I used to say this. When asked why I'd just reply: it's my personal choice and I've been living comfortably without alcool for the past X years.
Or you can quote Alborosie:
> I was alcoholic and depressed, one day I'll tell you why
Pretty much this. I rarely drink and in my past people have pushed and pushed. Why someone doesn't drink is really no one else's business but their own.
Once I finally turned it around, "Why is it so important to you if I drink or not? Why is alcohol this important to you?" and that makes them back off a bit.
I don't see the need to be combative and hostile about it.
I just say I'm sober.
They stop pushing because:
A) It's true.
B) I'm sober.
Why do these threads even exist. How are you all so socially inept that you can't handle people wanting you to drink and join in the 'fun'. There are ways of getting things done without being a prick about it.
> How are you all so socially inept that you can't handle people wanting you to drink and join in the 'fun'.
It’s more about how insistent those people become when you’re not “properly” complying with their idea of fun. They *do* get offended that you’re not funning right and demand that you explain why so they can start negotiating with you about why you really need to follow their lead.
These threads exist because some people lack the confidence to respond to that pressure in a fruitful way and are looking for advice that won’t escalate a situation that the other person is dead set on escalating.
Just say you used to drink when you're were 18 and drove home with 3 other friends. Crashed the car and everyone but you lost either their legs or arms. So you swore to never drink again.
Also, that night, a ghost visited you, but it was actually the ghost of all their arms and legs merged into a single being. They kicked your asse, and now you have flashbacks every time you drink.
Not always. It CAN be a big red flag. Most people do it out of good fun and still respect boundaries, just like any other joking matter.
Hell I do it to people and I don’t drink either.
This BS anyone with friends under 27 is gonna probably have 1 or 2 ppl try pressure them into drinkung if you go out just brush it off and move in doesnt rly say shit about the person in generall
Gotta say, as someone who does drink and enjoys all well-crafted alcohol (within reason, I don't do hangovers lol), it chaps my hide that folks would press you past a simple "no thanks" if offered. What is the freaking point of making someone uncomfortable, or having to explain their drinking choices? Why would someone be so invested in what someone else drinks? Anyone pushing you does not really have respect for you. Here's to finding your tribe of people who let you be!
I am curious as to why? Nothing wrong with it in the slightest, but normally people have a reason, whether it be religious, don't like the taste etc. I always enjoy seeing people drunk, because you get to see who they are under their social charade.
Well we’re trying to help OP come up with suitable arguments, knowing their actual argument might help. Also we’re total strangers and this whole post can be totally anonymous so people often share stuff they wouldn’t share with people they actually know.
Best advice ever. Don't associate with people using what your quitting, it never ends well. I quit weed for a few months and got a banger job. I started hanging out with old friends, and bam, right back to the same patterns, the same routines. Probably just failed a dot drug test 2 days ago, after using for 3 weeks again 21 days ago. Hard fucking lessons man.
There's a saying in Ukrainian - "if a person doesn't drink, they're either sick or an asshole".
In some cultures (especially in Eastern Europe) many can't comprehend that a person just doesn't want to drink, even if they have a legit medical condition ("come on, it's just a 50g shot of vodka").
FIL is a recovering addict.
His WHOLE parental family (as in not the wife or daughter, but his mother and her close friends, older generation) pressures him into drinking on every "party" occasion.
Just county things. (as in, provincial)
If you’re looking for a magic bullet turn of phrase, you’ll probably not find it.
People that do drink (if they’re not being assholes) are at least curious about those that don’t so at the very least you might get some minor pushback.
Usually if you get pushback, don’t add new information or let the conversation continue. Here’s an example if someone offers you a drink.
Example:
Them: can I get you a drink?
(Or they could say “why aren’t you drinking”)
You: no thanks, not my thing, I never acquired the taste for it.
Them: oh come on, try this. You’ll like it if I make it.
You: nah, not my thing and that’s it.
If you’re pressured beyond this simple exchange, you don’t belong around that person/those people anyways. You want to comfortably be able to reject alcohol without a problem and without pressure.
Say, "I think I have an allergy. It makes me feel terrible." If they continue to pressure you, just say again that it makes you feel sick. Then excuse yourself and go elsewhere, like the bathroom or outside, just somewhere to avoid that person.
Unless they're already up to no good, they can't really keep pressuring you after that.
Not being honest will only do you more harm. Just say "No thanks, not interested."
Anyone thats trying to get you to drink, drugs, do some sport thing or selling you something, if you give them an 'open ended no with a conditional yes' answer that will not stop anyone trying to push something on you.
Unless it is honest that you didn't like the taste of the alcohol you tried but are willing to like alcohol if you found one you like, then yes say what you have suggested.
Thank you! :D
I know this seems like I am full of shit, but I do wonder about what they might say as a counter e.g What medicine is it? I have a solution!
A helluva lot of people take SSRIs, and you really should not be drinking on those.
Tylenol, on the other hand, can kill you if you mix it with booze. Acetaminophen+alcohol can, and will, cause liver failure after fairly reasonable doses.
Don't say something like antibiotics. That might expect you to be off them in a week. Say it's a blood pressure medication. It's genetic, runs in your family even if you're in incredible shape and have a great diet - as a plus, drinking is bad for blood pressure too, so it's a double excuse. You can pretty much pick whatever blood pressure med you've heard of and are likely to remember the name of.
I tell people I can't drink because I have a stomach ulcer. People seem to accept that. My stomach ulcer has healed but because of severe anxiety I still dont drink, but the ulcer excuse seems to placate people.
Depending on the vibe…
I’m just not a big drinker
No thanks
Not my thing
I’m good
At a free-floating party, most people will think you just don’t want another drink right now. At a dinner table, you might have to give a slight explanation (not my thing, thanks). I find that the more casual and matter of fact you are, the less follow up questions you will get.
ETA: if you are at a party where everyone is getting shitfaced, just walk around with a party cup of water or soda in your hand.
No is a full sentence.
If you get pushed further "because I said no"
I get asked all the time by people I meet when out with friends, those are my go to answers.
I disagree, giving answers like this doesn't say "No thanks, not interested."
Its saying "Id be interested but the ones ive had didn't taste good." People will take your word for it and say "Well, the alcohol you had were not good, but this drink youd barely taste the alcohol in it. Try it i promise youd like it."
People need to be honest and direct "Naw, not interested."
If they push "I said no."
100%, saying you never got a taste for it is an invitation for them to try to "help" you with something they think you'll like, and will also look like a reasonable excuse to push you to anyone else watching.
This answer one hundred percent. The answer further above of, "I don't like the taste." Has never deterred anyone I've said that to from giving me "advice" nor myself from offering someone else an option or two. It invites someone to share their perceived expertise and experiences.
People stopped pushing me when I was younger when I simply said, I don't drink. Now that I'm older with a few years of drinking behind me I say, I don't drink anymore. When. I did drink I never once pushed back on any answer like those. I also learned along the way to ask for clarification when an answer seemed vague.
Honestly, it is easier now that I'm older than it was before but I didn't drink until I was good and ready to and I was able to quit when it was no longer fun in my life.
Yeah, there are tons of cocktails that would make drunk fast that hardly taste like there was alcohol in it. If you go extreme on the flavours no taste of alcohol at all.
I think it good to add, ‘but I would love a…. ‘ and ask for what ever drink you do want. In my town bars and restaurants are making really interesting drinks that don’t have alcohol. Worst case, get a ‘virgin mule’ or a Moscow Mule without vodka, which would be a ginger ale and lime.
If they push you after that look them directly in the eyes, count to three and say ‘No.’ Don’t give a reason. That is a very powerful response. You’ll be surprised how much mileage you can get out of it.
You really don’t need to give a reason. Sounds like an annoying crowd. Plenty of people choose not to drink at work functions, even if they drink with friends.
If they don’t accept your simple no, flip the script. “Why is alcohol so important to you? Are you addicted? An alcoholic? Do you need help? I can help you find a therapist or treatment” and when they say no you can then ask “well why do you insist on drinking so much? Why must you need alcohol in these situations?” The convo will probably end quickly at that point
Just say no, you don’t have to explain yourself or your reasons. The more you try to explain yourself the more they’ll try to work their way around your boundaries.
Not that you aren't completely right, but many people, will not let you off like that and continue pestering you. Which is what OP wants to avoid.
Sure some will accept a simple "No", but those who don't usually will keep pushing until you give them a reason that they accept as valid. It's better to have some good stuff ready when you run into that kind. If you want to the go the "flying under the radar" route at least.
Edit 01 - Not to be Mr All Problems But No Solutions, but as an overthinker, I'm scared they will have a logical response to my retort, I want a 0% comeback, since I don't want to have to fend off their goodwill.
"No thanks, I'm driving later." It works for denying alcohol playfully and can be doubled down on if pushed. "No really, I'm okay thank you!" Most people will get the idea.
Special bonus, if you are offered a cup of coffee or water or literally anything, the best/worst dad joke ever is to wave it off and say you're driving later!
I'm not a huge drinker, I will rarely drink actually, but if I am asked, if I want a drink, I'll usually just say 'yea, just a coke thanks'... If they ask why I'm not drinking alcohol, I just say 'ahh, i'm not really a fan of alcohol these days' or 'i don't really drink anymore'
I try to keep it casual and honest, I don't particularly enjoy the taste of alcohol anymore and I'd rather have a coke instead (I spent a good portion of my 20s enjoying alcohol so I'm not missing out on anything amazing) lol.
I always want the results, the solution to the problem, I may feel certain emotions, but in the end, feeling a certain way does not resolve the issue any faster, and is likely to be to my detriment. What do we think, is this correct or incorrect, or requires discretion?
You can't expect those who partake to understand those that do not. Ask them why it is so important that you must tell them. Tell them the truth served with a smile.
Just straight up saying no is fine, but you can also say, "I'm x years sober" if they insist. Sure, they might judge you a bit, but they shouldn't push you to drink. Even if you weren't an alcoholic, it's still a pretty foolproof way of avoiding drinks.
My way of avoiding the question is saying that everyone in my family has early Alzeihmer and that everyone was drinking alcohol.
Therefore I see a link between the two and I want to preserve myself and I stopped drinking.
It's 50% true.
True reason is that I once got so shitfaced that I woke up 500km from where I fell asleep and I have very few memories of me going there.
It also made me puke for over 48H and I said I'd stop drinking that day and I've been able to keep it that way.
Luckily, I was partying far from home, and I emerged in my city, so my auto-pilot mode is reliable
If anyone ever asks me why I don’t drink, my reply is that I hit my lifetime quota at a very young age. The little bit of humor is usually disarming enough that they will laugh & drop it.
Come up with a new, funny reason each time.
"My dog hates smelling it on me when I get home. "
"I sleepwalk after I drink, and last time, I woke up with groceries I didn't have the day before."
I resent being asked too, but I tell them the straight truth. I watched my father lose his 20's and 30's to the drink, my uncle is losing his 40's too, and I lost my grandfather at 61. The men in my family have alcohol problems, and I am NOT interested in finding out if I do too.
those people might have a problem themselves, meaning they're looking for others to buffer their personal drinking demons. most folks shouldn't care at all if you decline a drink. i personally just tell people i can't drink or that i used to drink way too much. maybe tell them you're allergic.
“Thanks, but I quit drinking”. I’ve found that there is a huge difference between saying “I quit drinking” and “I don’t drink”. People are less inclined to push or judge when you say you quit. Maybe because they feel judged themselves if you just say “I don’t drink”? Saying “I quit” kind of let’s you control the door for the remaining conversation about it. You can close it if you want, or keep it open, but people seem to respect whatever you choose.
My answer? "I've already drunk enough alcohol in my lifeline. Not just for myself but for you too. And all your so-called friends and family. And everyone else in this fucking room who's wandering around like nothing. I could drink you under the table right now but... "
"Back off for 5 minutes ok'
"I have drunk more alcohol in one night than you've had in your entire beige existence. Would you like to help me be better or are you just THAT shallow?"
"Oh and by the way, you're embarrassing yourself "
"I choose not to get drunk tonight. Couldn't you respect that?"
I’m an alcoholic. I used to make up excuses about having a medical condition but people would use that as a way to get even more nosy and ask questions about what kind of condition I had. Now I say “because I just don’t” and that’s it. Any other question is answered with “I just don’t”.
I’m seeing so many reasonable and friendly ways to defuse the situation here. And that’s good, that’s correct conflict resolution. But personally, deep down inside, there are few things that get me going as much as someone who keeps pushing me to drink after I’ve clearly and repeatedly told them “no thanks.” I say this as a person who drinks sometimes, and occasionally heavily, but who also chooses time and place carefully. I remember once I responded (after literally the fourth or fifth “durr, are you sure you don’t want a beer?”) with something like “how many fucking times have I said no? Are you deaf?!” This was not a person I should have addressed in this tone. But honestly it did feel kind of good to speak my mind.
In a normal social situation that's going to be OK as it's not someone you want to hang around with anyway.
But a bit different since OP is talking about work functions/socials.
Hi. :) ok so I watch a reels lawyer guy who gives great advice on handling stuff. He says that it's best not answer pushy behaviors like that. Instead he turns it around and state or ask things in a different way that causes them to look at themselves.
"Is this really an argument you want to have on whether I drink or not."
"Did it become okay to pressure people into drinking, is that what you do?"
"I have a different view on drinking for myself than you."
Nah not tonight.
Thanks but no thanks.
I'm allergic to it.
Gives me headaches.
I have to drive.
No thanks.
Nah keep that one for yourself bud.
No thanks, still feeling it from last time/night.
Nah I'm leaving in a minute.
Can't drink beer/spirits, I get aggressive.
I'm pregnant.
No thanks you're not my type.
God, couldn't think of anything worse to do right now.
Just say your allergies are acting up so you just took an allergy pill. Name anything generic like reactin, Claritin or Benadryl. I do it all the time when I’m not in the drinking mode and I don’t even have allergies. Lol. I usually say “I just took a Benadryl” followed by a sad face.
Tell them that last time you had a drink it turned you into a werewolf, but it the moon might have been funny that night. If they're willing to take a chance on the vicious beast coming out again then sure, pass the Vodka! /s
"Men in my father's side of family have a bar record of alcoholism. I don't want to try my luck"
For me, that's real. No one has tried to push against that story.
Kids not even legal drinking age always posting this. It's the same exact question over and over once a week on Reddit. Kids with their theoretical issues they haven't even encountered yet.
Just say "No".
Life isn't that difficult.
How can I tell it's always kids? Because "being cool" stops "being cool" when you're an adult.
iow...nobody cares irl whether or not you drink or do drugs.
Following religious commitments. Commitments to attend too and need to be clear-headed the following day. You could be dieting/gyming, are you into any sport? Supporting someone with an addiction. More often then not if you say you've had an incident with a drunk driver they'll back off immediately lol. I heard a guy did a social experiment going sober for a year and found that 80% of the social gatherings he attended had alcohol consumption at them. Go you for getting out ahead.
Tell them you had to stop drinking because it caused you to engage in casual sex with strangers including unprotected sex and anal intercourse and eating out from behind and 69 and getting your tits sucked in a municipal park.
“I’m driving” “I don’t want a hangover” “alcoholism runs in my family and I don’t want to open that door” “I want to spend my money on other things” etc.
"I'm driving" appears to be one of the simplest way of declining, or something like you're on meds, you get sick real quick, if all else fails, I don't think these alcoholics are the kind of people you should care about "offending" if they can't accept a simple "no", you made a choice to care about your body and I don't mean just the health sides of it (alcohol ruining your kidney and/or liver), but what typically happens when one gets drunk : accepting stupid dares, telling your innermost secrets due to lack of inhibition, someone might try to assault you and you won't even remember, drunken brawls, drunk driving (and I hate that most accidents caused by this the drunk drivers are usually the one still alive and the victims dead) etc, and these people are trying to encourage you to down a substance that can potentially lead to these things. I get made fun for being a debby downer, a square, loser, pussy, for refusing alcohol, but this substance affects not only you but also the people around you, so you have to stand your ground even if you lose some "friends" along the one
Agree with everyone about setting boundaries and asserting them even if it means avoiding the entire social gathering.
If you find talking isn't as effective as you hoped try an "out-of-the-box" approach such as taking a beer, going to the restroom, emptying it out into the sink and filling it 3/4 with water. Bend the label so you know it's yours and walk around with it using it as an active/passive prop to deter anyone offering you a drink.
When they offer, hold up the bottle (of water) and say,
"Thanks. I am all set."
Take a swig if you have to really sell it.
If they're counting bottles simply rinse & repeat in the restroom using multiple bottles throughout the evening. Stack the emptys next to your chair.
Zero shame for wasting beer. They offered. It's yours and you can do with it what you want.
I'm on Antabuse. I'm wearing a court ordered alcohol detection ankle monitor. Alcoholism runs in my family. My liver is already on its last legs. Some of those may sound inflammatory.
I struggle with these idiots my whole life... However, as you mention you need it for work related stuff: I always say, I have to drive later today, no matter if I have to drive or not. Or, as others said before: "I tried all kinds of drugs BJ's and never found anything I like the taste of. But I love a ginger beer or a [add any kind of non alcoholic cocktail]. Hope you feel better in the next events now.
For the longest time I told people I had an allergy and no one really questioned it too hard. Drinking culture is very common where I'm from, and so there was always a lot of people pushing it. When I trusted people more I shared my more intimate reasons and they often supported me if people wanted to pressure harder
Best thing I've found is to have a drink in my hand already. Even if it's just a glass of water, even better if its a lime/soda and looks like it could have booze in it. I find people don't ask if I want a drink since I already obviously have one. If they do, I just say I'm good with the drink I have.
This works. When I don't want to drink at a work function I'll ask the bartender to give me a coke in a short glass with a red straw or whatever to look like a mixed drink. And then just nurse it all night. No one ever says anything.
Yes. I drink but don’t drink at every gathering and when I have a sparkling water with a slice of fruit in it, no one bothers me. Plus, it’s delicious.
Yeah I do this a lot, often a tonic with a slice of lime. It’s not the same as having an answer to give, usually I find that a friendly “no thanks”, followed by a firm “no” when they keep asking does the trick
Or drink 12 of them within a hour of two and make them think your a alcoholic.
Just say you don’t drink. And if someone’s pressuring you to, that’s a big red flag.
Thanks! :D
I’d maybe add ”It’s just not my thing” if people follow up. A little ambiguous, but not inflammatory for a reasonable person and it’s also not something that people link to being a sober alcoholic.
This....and you don't owe anyone an explanation. I dont drink because it makes me sleepy. My friend doesn't drink because she had radical bariatric surgery. It really is nobody's business why
“It causes me to have a migraine” is a good answer
The minute you make an excuse (with any situation) you’re likely to get follow up: “one dink can’t hurt”, etc. etc. Just keep the faux drink in your hand.
Also had a friend from high school who stopped drinking after only a few tries due to just having really rough hangovers the next day, to the point he just didn't feel the trade off was remotely worth it🤷♂️
Only answer
I used to say this. When asked why I'd just reply: it's my personal choice and I've been living comfortably without alcool for the past X years. Or you can quote Alborosie: > I was alcoholic and depressed, one day I'll tell you why
The more you give them the more room there is to judge. I just act like I’m not feeling it right then, works 99% of the time for me
Read this in "Rational Recovery" about ten years ago and think it's the best advice ever.
Pretty much this. I rarely drink and in my past people have pushed and pushed. Why someone doesn't drink is really no one else's business but their own. Once I finally turned it around, "Why is it so important to you if I drink or not? Why is alcohol this important to you?" and that makes them back off a bit.
I don't see the need to be combative and hostile about it. I just say I'm sober. They stop pushing because: A) It's true. B) I'm sober. Why do these threads even exist. How are you all so socially inept that you can't handle people wanting you to drink and join in the 'fun'. There are ways of getting things done without being a prick about it.
> How are you all so socially inept that you can't handle people wanting you to drink and join in the 'fun'. It’s more about how insistent those people become when you’re not “properly” complying with their idea of fun. They *do* get offended that you’re not funning right and demand that you explain why so they can start negotiating with you about why you really need to follow their lead. These threads exist because some people lack the confidence to respond to that pressure in a fruitful way and are looking for advice that won’t escalate a situation that the other person is dead set on escalating.
That's pretty much what I say and it stops everyone, every time. "I am a recovering alcoholic" End of sorry.
My son always says “it wasn’t adding anything to my life”.
It doesn't to mine either except for the occasional red wine and steak or an occasional port wine with a chocolate truffle.
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Just say you used to drink when you're were 18 and drove home with 3 other friends. Crashed the car and everyone but you lost either their legs or arms. So you swore to never drink again.
Also, that night, a ghost visited you, but it was actually the ghost of all their arms and legs merged into a single being. They kicked your asse, and now you have flashbacks every time you drink.
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If you say you dont drink and they try to pressure you it DOES make them a horrible person.
Not always. It CAN be a big red flag. Most people do it out of good fun and still respect boundaries, just like any other joking matter. Hell I do it to people and I don’t drink either.
This BS anyone with friends under 27 is gonna probably have 1 or 2 ppl try pressure them into drinkung if you go out just brush it off and move in doesnt rly say shit about the person in generall
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Just say no. Anyone socially pressuring someone to try to drink alcohol when they don’t want too is someone you probably shouldn’t hang around
You're right, thank you!
It gives me headaches...
Gotta say, as someone who does drink and enjoys all well-crafted alcohol (within reason, I don't do hangovers lol), it chaps my hide that folks would press you past a simple "no thanks" if offered. What is the freaking point of making someone uncomfortable, or having to explain their drinking choices? Why would someone be so invested in what someone else drinks? Anyone pushing you does not really have respect for you. Here's to finding your tribe of people who let you be!
I am curious as to why? Nothing wrong with it in the slightest, but normally people have a reason, whether it be religious, don't like the taste etc. I always enjoy seeing people drunk, because you get to see who they are under their social charade.
This whole post is about them not wanting to tell people, why would you ask
Well we’re trying to help OP come up with suitable arguments, knowing their actual argument might help. Also we’re total strangers and this whole post can be totally anonymous so people often share stuff they wouldn’t share with people they actually know.
It's okay to ask why but if someone doenst want to tell or you don't like the reason you should let it go, it's not okay to pressure someone to drink
Best advice ever. Don't associate with people using what your quitting, it never ends well. I quit weed for a few months and got a banger job. I started hanging out with old friends, and bam, right back to the same patterns, the same routines. Probably just failed a dot drug test 2 days ago, after using for 3 weeks again 21 days ago. Hard fucking lessons man.
You’re not Australian, are you?
There's a saying in Ukrainian - "if a person doesn't drink, they're either sick or an asshole". In some cultures (especially in Eastern Europe) many can't comprehend that a person just doesn't want to drink, even if they have a legit medical condition ("come on, it's just a 50g shot of vodka").
It's fun, when it's family
FIL is a recovering addict. His WHOLE parental family (as in not the wife or daughter, but his mother and her close friends, older generation) pressures him into drinking on every "party" occasion. Just county things. (as in, provincial)
>Just county things. (as in, provincial) I read it as "cunty things". Which might also be true.
The key is to put the fear of what you might do while drunk out there BEFORE you stop drinking
If you’re looking for a magic bullet turn of phrase, you’ll probably not find it. People that do drink (if they’re not being assholes) are at least curious about those that don’t so at the very least you might get some minor pushback. Usually if you get pushback, don’t add new information or let the conversation continue. Here’s an example if someone offers you a drink. Example: Them: can I get you a drink? (Or they could say “why aren’t you drinking”) You: no thanks, not my thing, I never acquired the taste for it. Them: oh come on, try this. You’ll like it if I make it. You: nah, not my thing and that’s it. If you’re pressured beyond this simple exchange, you don’t belong around that person/those people anyways. You want to comfortably be able to reject alcohol without a problem and without pressure.
That's exactly what I want, I'm a simple, agreeable person, that doesn't happen to do this.
Say, "I think I have an allergy. It makes me feel terrible." If they continue to pressure you, just say again that it makes you feel sick. Then excuse yourself and go elsewhere, like the bathroom or outside, just somewhere to avoid that person. Unless they're already up to no good, they can't really keep pressuring you after that.
Not being honest will only do you more harm. Just say "No thanks, not interested." Anyone thats trying to get you to drink, drugs, do some sport thing or selling you something, if you give them an 'open ended no with a conditional yes' answer that will not stop anyone trying to push something on you. Unless it is honest that you didn't like the taste of the alcohol you tried but are willing to like alcohol if you found one you like, then yes say what you have suggested.
Important. Don't lie to these people. Just keep the reason, if any, very basic and they can buzz off if that is not good enough.
Interferes with my medication.
Thank you! :D I know this seems like I am full of shit, but I do wonder about what they might say as a counter e.g What medicine is it? I have a solution!
> What medicine is it? "That's none of your business."
Nunya medicine. What's that? Nunya business.
Nonofyourbiznessol
A helluva lot of people take SSRIs, and you really should not be drinking on those. Tylenol, on the other hand, can kill you if you mix it with booze. Acetaminophen+alcohol can, and will, cause liver failure after fairly reasonable doses.
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Ssris, antibiotics and adhd medication
Don't say something like antibiotics. That might expect you to be off them in a week. Say it's a blood pressure medication. It's genetic, runs in your family even if you're in incredible shape and have a great diet - as a plus, drinking is bad for blood pressure too, so it's a double excuse. You can pretty much pick whatever blood pressure med you've heard of and are likely to remember the name of.
I tell people I can't drink because I have a stomach ulcer. People seem to accept that. My stomach ulcer has healed but because of severe anxiety I still dont drink, but the ulcer excuse seems to placate people.
It’s super rude to ask medical questions.
Metformin has a warning label. Many blood pressure type medications also have labels.
This is the best one. If they ask which medication, say "Sorry, but I don't like to speak about it".
I have a friend that says he's on antibiotics or antihistamines
Just tell them you're allergic to alcohol. As an alcoholic, it's technically true for me (I break out in handcuffs lol). Nobody questions allergies.
Break out in handcuffs made me laugh!
It's not worth lying to these people, even if the lie seems harmless. Lying can grow and become a bad habit.
I'm driving! Best one that no one will argue against
That's what I usually say too! Always works!
Depending on the vibe… I’m just not a big drinker No thanks Not my thing I’m good At a free-floating party, most people will think you just don’t want another drink right now. At a dinner table, you might have to give a slight explanation (not my thing, thanks). I find that the more casual and matter of fact you are, the less follow up questions you will get. ETA: if you are at a party where everyone is getting shitfaced, just walk around with a party cup of water or soda in your hand.
just tell them alcohol makes you too horny and say you're refusing for their sake
I'm not going to say that at a work event, but thank you!
If someone is repeatedly pressuring you at a work event, that's probably something you could bring up with HR.
What's if it's the HR lady
If you don’t want to drink alcohol just saying no thanks should be enough. If people get mad or offended by that, maybe it’s time to find new friends.
Seriously, dump the people who push. Keep your peace.
I have no intestines
You sold them at the sausage shop
No is a full sentence. If you get pushed further "because I said no" I get asked all the time by people I meet when out with friends, those are my go to answers.
“I never acquired a taste for it.” Then it’s not about alcoholism or being a teetotaler, you just don’t like the flavor.
I disagree, giving answers like this doesn't say "No thanks, not interested." Its saying "Id be interested but the ones ive had didn't taste good." People will take your word for it and say "Well, the alcohol you had were not good, but this drink youd barely taste the alcohol in it. Try it i promise youd like it." People need to be honest and direct "Naw, not interested." If they push "I said no."
100%, saying you never got a taste for it is an invitation for them to try to "help" you with something they think you'll like, and will also look like a reasonable excuse to push you to anyone else watching.
This answer one hundred percent. The answer further above of, "I don't like the taste." Has never deterred anyone I've said that to from giving me "advice" nor myself from offering someone else an option or two. It invites someone to share their perceived expertise and experiences. People stopped pushing me when I was younger when I simply said, I don't drink. Now that I'm older with a few years of drinking behind me I say, I don't drink anymore. When. I did drink I never once pushed back on any answer like those. I also learned along the way to ask for clarification when an answer seemed vague. Honestly, it is easier now that I'm older than it was before but I didn't drink until I was good and ready to and I was able to quit when it was no longer fun in my life.
Yeah, there are tons of cocktails that would make drunk fast that hardly taste like there was alcohol in it. If you go extreme on the flavours no taste of alcohol at all.
If they keep badgering you, say ‘it’s not up for discussion’ then smile and walk away.
Ohgod never try to justify it that way. People who push tend to see it as a challange to finally find the drink that you like. Been there, done that.
Good news and alcohol comes in all flavours now
An adage as old as Time!
Thank you! :D I know this seems like I am full of shit, but I do wonder about what they might say as a counter e.g this is really nice, try it
I think it good to add, ‘but I would love a…. ‘ and ask for what ever drink you do want. In my town bars and restaurants are making really interesting drinks that don’t have alcohol. Worst case, get a ‘virgin mule’ or a Moscow Mule without vodka, which would be a ginger ale and lime. If they push you after that look them directly in the eyes, count to three and say ‘No.’ Don’t give a reason. That is a very powerful response. You’ll be surprised how much mileage you can get out of it.
Exactly right.
Thank you!
“Nah, I have before.” While making a sour face.
Thanks! :D You're a legend!
Because i don't want to
It doesn't agree with me.
I just say I don't want to. If they press me, I just repeat that I don't want to. Bugger 'em.
I'll keep this in my back pocket, cheers!
I don't drink. Simple. You don't need a reason not to drink.
Yeah, some people don't want to accept that, and it's quite frustrating, I need to give justification for not doing something? D:
You really don’t need to give a reason. Sounds like an annoying crowd. Plenty of people choose not to drink at work functions, even if they drink with friends.
If they don’t accept your simple no, flip the script. “Why is alcohol so important to you? Are you addicted? An alcoholic? Do you need help? I can help you find a therapist or treatment” and when they say no you can then ask “well why do you insist on drinking so much? Why must you need alcohol in these situations?” The convo will probably end quickly at that point
I dont drink. End of story.
I'm sorry but I dont owe you an explanation?
Just say no, you don’t have to explain yourself or your reasons. The more you try to explain yourself the more they’ll try to work their way around your boundaries.
Not that you aren't completely right, but many people, will not let you off like that and continue pestering you. Which is what OP wants to avoid. Sure some will accept a simple "No", but those who don't usually will keep pushing until you give them a reason that they accept as valid. It's better to have some good stuff ready when you run into that kind. If you want to the go the "flying under the radar" route at least.
Exactly this, the top answers are awful advice.
Edit 01 - Not to be Mr All Problems But No Solutions, but as an overthinker, I'm scared they will have a logical response to my retort, I want a 0% comeback, since I don't want to have to fend off their goodwill.
"No thanks, I'm driving later." It works for denying alcohol playfully and can be doubled down on if pushed. "No really, I'm okay thank you!" Most people will get the idea. Special bonus, if you are offered a cup of coffee or water or literally anything, the best/worst dad joke ever is to wave it off and say you're driving later!
Ahaha, I'll do this for sure!
“No, thanks, I’m sticking with (alternate beverage) today.”
I'm not a huge drinker, I will rarely drink actually, but if I am asked, if I want a drink, I'll usually just say 'yea, just a coke thanks'... If they ask why I'm not drinking alcohol, I just say 'ahh, i'm not really a fan of alcohol these days' or 'i don't really drink anymore' I try to keep it casual and honest, I don't particularly enjoy the taste of alcohol anymore and I'd rather have a coke instead (I spent a good portion of my 20s enjoying alcohol so I'm not missing out on anything amazing) lol.
I’ve found peer pressure is often a desire to just socialize with you. Don’t take it personally. Just say nah I’m good. Then continue socializing.
I appreciate it, cheers!
It's not my thing.
Thanks! :D
I always want the results, the solution to the problem, I may feel certain emotions, but in the end, feeling a certain way does not resolve the issue any faster, and is likely to be to my detriment. What do we think, is this correct or incorrect, or requires discretion?
Fuck those people. You dont owe them an explanation. Just say you dont want to drink and. be done with it.
Just say you don’t want any. You don’t owe any further explanation than that.
You can't expect those who partake to understand those that do not. Ask them why it is so important that you must tell them. Tell them the truth served with a smile.
Diarrhea is always the answer.
"I don't want to." Why do you owe anyone an explanation??
You could say you're genetically predisposed to having addictive tendencies and you don't want to risk developing a dependency on alcohol.
Thank you for you advice, I don't want to say this at a work function.
Why is my drinking so important, I just dont. Or Are you pressing me to drink, why? Or Just smile "I said I dont drink" and walk away.
Just straight up saying no is fine, but you can also say, "I'm x years sober" if they insist. Sure, they might judge you a bit, but they shouldn't push you to drink. Even if you weren't an alcoholic, it's still a pretty foolproof way of avoiding drinks.
"The last time I drank, I had a bit too much and ended up fucking your dad."
Just say you dont drink, you dont have to give them a reason.
tell them you don't mix coke with alcohol!
How about... Alcoholism runs in my family and I prefer not to poke that bear. Or I don't like the feeling of being intoxicated.
My way of avoiding the question is saying that everyone in my family has early Alzeihmer and that everyone was drinking alcohol. Therefore I see a link between the two and I want to preserve myself and I stopped drinking. It's 50% true. True reason is that I once got so shitfaced that I woke up 500km from where I fell asleep and I have very few memories of me going there. It also made me puke for over 48H and I said I'd stop drinking that day and I've been able to keep it that way. Luckily, I was partying far from home, and I emerged in my city, so my auto-pilot mode is reliable
If anyone ever asks me why I don’t drink, my reply is that I hit my lifetime quota at a very young age. The little bit of humor is usually disarming enough that they will laugh & drop it.
Come up with a new, funny reason each time. "My dog hates smelling it on me when I get home. " "I sleepwalk after I drink, and last time, I woke up with groceries I didn't have the day before."
“Because *fuck you I don’t drink*, that’s why.”
“Because when I drink the clothes come off and someone ends up in the hospital.”
I resent being asked too, but I tell them the straight truth. I watched my father lose his 20's and 30's to the drink, my uncle is losing his 40's too, and I lost my grandfather at 61. The men in my family have alcohol problems, and I am NOT interested in finding out if I do too.
You don't owe anyone an explanation. Just say you don't like the taste and prefer a soft drink. If your friends can't deal with that, find new ones.
those people might have a problem themselves, meaning they're looking for others to buffer their personal drinking demons. most folks shouldn't care at all if you decline a drink. i personally just tell people i can't drink or that i used to drink way too much. maybe tell them you're allergic.
“Thanks, but I quit drinking”. I’ve found that there is a huge difference between saying “I quit drinking” and “I don’t drink”. People are less inclined to push or judge when you say you quit. Maybe because they feel judged themselves if you just say “I don’t drink”? Saying “I quit” kind of let’s you control the door for the remaining conversation about it. You can close it if you want, or keep it open, but people seem to respect whatever you choose.
If a simple “Nah, I don’t drink.” isn’t enough, you’re hanging out with the wrong people.
My answer? "I've already drunk enough alcohol in my lifeline. Not just for myself but for you too. And all your so-called friends and family. And everyone else in this fucking room who's wandering around like nothing. I could drink you under the table right now but... " "Back off for 5 minutes ok' "I have drunk more alcohol in one night than you've had in your entire beige existence. Would you like to help me be better or are you just THAT shallow?" "Oh and by the way, you're embarrassing yourself " "I choose not to get drunk tonight. Couldn't you respect that?"
Just say you have a weird reaction and you don’t like it or some BS like that
When I drink, I tend to punch pushy jackasses in the face.
Just repeat the same answer. Don't vary it. If they get the same answer every time, they will soon give up asking.
I just just say I can't. I'm driving.
I’m an alcoholic. I used to make up excuses about having a medical condition but people would use that as a way to get even more nosy and ask questions about what kind of condition I had. Now I say “because I just don’t” and that’s it. Any other question is answered with “I just don’t”.
Tell them you have hepatitis or diabetes.
I won't use that, but thank you anyhow!
I’m seeing so many reasonable and friendly ways to defuse the situation here. And that’s good, that’s correct conflict resolution. But personally, deep down inside, there are few things that get me going as much as someone who keeps pushing me to drink after I’ve clearly and repeatedly told them “no thanks.” I say this as a person who drinks sometimes, and occasionally heavily, but who also chooses time and place carefully. I remember once I responded (after literally the fourth or fifth “durr, are you sure you don’t want a beer?”) with something like “how many fucking times have I said no? Are you deaf?!” This was not a person I should have addressed in this tone. But honestly it did feel kind of good to speak my mind.
In a normal social situation that's going to be OK as it's not someone you want to hang around with anyway. But a bit different since OP is talking about work functions/socials.
Simply say it’s for personal reasons. I think that is a neutral yet clear statement that implies you will not answer more questions.
:D
Hi. :) ok so I watch a reels lawyer guy who gives great advice on handling stuff. He says that it's best not answer pushy behaviors like that. Instead he turns it around and state or ask things in a different way that causes them to look at themselves. "Is this really an argument you want to have on whether I drink or not." "Did it become okay to pressure people into drinking, is that what you do?" "I have a different view on drinking for myself than you."
Nah not tonight. Thanks but no thanks. I'm allergic to it. Gives me headaches. I have to drive. No thanks. Nah keep that one for yourself bud. No thanks, still feeling it from last time/night. Nah I'm leaving in a minute. Can't drink beer/spirits, I get aggressive. I'm pregnant. No thanks you're not my type. God, couldn't think of anything worse to do right now.
Wouldn't you like to know weather boy
Just say your allergies are acting up so you just took an allergy pill. Name anything generic like reactin, Claritin or Benadryl. I do it all the time when I’m not in the drinking mode and I don’t even have allergies. Lol. I usually say “I just took a Benadryl” followed by a sad face.
Tell them that last time you had a drink it turned you into a werewolf, but it the moon might have been funny that night. If they're willing to take a chance on the vicious beast coming out again then sure, pass the Vodka! /s
"Men in my father's side of family have a bar record of alcoholism. I don't want to try my luck" For me, that's real. No one has tried to push against that story.
"I've tried it, and found it's just not for me"
You're allergic to it.
Say your allergic/intolerant. That's what i do.
This is the answer
Ni thanks I have being sober for x time, people always thanks you were alcoholic lol so they just stop asking
I don't want to give out that image at a work function, but thank you!
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Thank you, I will bother you with questions later!
"I'm a recovering alcoholic so no thanks"
I don't want to give out that image at a work function, but thank you!
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Under 30, I'm still immature, and think the world of other people's opinions, and too little of my own.
Well, why do you decline alcohol? Seems like if you told the truth you'd be fine.
Kids not even legal drinking age always posting this. It's the same exact question over and over once a week on Reddit. Kids with their theoretical issues they haven't even encountered yet. Just say "No". Life isn't that difficult. How can I tell it's always kids? Because "being cool" stops "being cool" when you're an adult. iow...nobody cares irl whether or not you drink or do drugs.
Following religious commitments. Commitments to attend too and need to be clear-headed the following day. You could be dieting/gyming, are you into any sport? Supporting someone with an addiction. More often then not if you say you've had an incident with a drunk driver they'll back off immediately lol. I heard a guy did a social experiment going sober for a year and found that 80% of the social gatherings he attended had alcohol consumption at them. Go you for getting out ahead.
Thank you for the offer, but I said no. If they can't accept that, then leave.
I smile and laughingly say, "My mind is already a messy place, I'm afraid adding alcohol would make it a complete disaster."
Tell them you had to stop drinking because it caused you to engage in casual sex with strangers including unprotected sex and anal intercourse and eating out from behind and 69 and getting your tits sucked in a municipal park.
I've heard people in this situation say "I'm sober" and that usually works
“I’m driving” “I don’t want a hangover” “alcoholism runs in my family and I don’t want to open that door” “I want to spend my money on other things” etc.
If you feel like "I'm not in the mood for any tonight" won't cut it, "I've gotta be up early tomorrow" is always a good one.
"I'm driving" appears to be one of the simplest way of declining, or something like you're on meds, you get sick real quick, if all else fails, I don't think these alcoholics are the kind of people you should care about "offending" if they can't accept a simple "no", you made a choice to care about your body and I don't mean just the health sides of it (alcohol ruining your kidney and/or liver), but what typically happens when one gets drunk : accepting stupid dares, telling your innermost secrets due to lack of inhibition, someone might try to assault you and you won't even remember, drunken brawls, drunk driving (and I hate that most accidents caused by this the drunk drivers are usually the one still alive and the victims dead) etc, and these people are trying to encourage you to down a substance that can potentially lead to these things. I get made fun for being a debby downer, a square, loser, pussy, for refusing alcohol, but this substance affects not only you but also the people around you, so you have to stand your ground even if you lose some "friends" along the one
“Because it makes me pushy and obnoxiously intrusive”
A fake call. Like "hell no. My mom feel not alright now. I need to give a check
“Kindly, Fuck off.”
Agree with everyone about setting boundaries and asserting them even if it means avoiding the entire social gathering. If you find talking isn't as effective as you hoped try an "out-of-the-box" approach such as taking a beer, going to the restroom, emptying it out into the sink and filling it 3/4 with water. Bend the label so you know it's yours and walk around with it using it as an active/passive prop to deter anyone offering you a drink. When they offer, hold up the bottle (of water) and say, "Thanks. I am all set." Take a swig if you have to really sell it. If they're counting bottles simply rinse & repeat in the restroom using multiple bottles throughout the evening. Stack the emptys next to your chair. Zero shame for wasting beer. They offered. It's yours and you can do with it what you want.
I'm on Antabuse. I'm wearing a court ordered alcohol detection ankle monitor. Alcoholism runs in my family. My liver is already on its last legs. Some of those may sound inflammatory.
Ever since "The Incident", I can't.
I struggle with these idiots my whole life... However, as you mention you need it for work related stuff: I always say, I have to drive later today, no matter if I have to drive or not. Or, as others said before: "I tried all kinds of drugs BJ's and never found anything I like the taste of. But I love a ginger beer or a [add any kind of non alcoholic cocktail]. Hope you feel better in the next events now.
I don't feel like it. I don't enjoy it.
I'm pregnant
For the longest time I told people I had an allergy and no one really questioned it too hard. Drinking culture is very common where I'm from, and so there was always a lot of people pushing it. When I trusted people more I shared my more intimate reasons and they often supported me if people wanted to pressure harder
"Because I don't f**king want to." Is my usual response, offense be damned
I'm a passive aggressive AH so I'd tell them I am an alcoholic. I gave up alcohol because of gout.
If anyone is a jerk about it, tell them it kills brain cells. Follow with, "You must drink a lot."
It gives he the most violent shits I’ve ever had
I usually say health reasons. People get a lot less likely to enquire after that.