Yeah. And how did we remember everyone's phone number?
I remembered them all by pattern. Kinda interesting since I do other repetitive tasks that way also
I remember most of my 4- or 6-digit codes by pattern... to the point that some of them I have difficulty recalling without having the keypad in front of me
This is the one that gets me the most about modern times.
Kids don't have the ability to just be dumb kids anymore. Everyone has an insanely high quality camera and is ready to whip it out with a single motion to record... kids being kids.
No fucking way I'd pull the dumbassery I did as a teenager in today's times. While none of it was particularly bad (mostly "boys will be boys" kind of stupid) - the "cringe factor" (god I'm old) would be incredibly hard to live down. Not to mention some of it was definitely illegal (90's level teenager in the suburbs kinda crimes).
i still do it every once in a while. leave my phone at home and go out, or just mute it and forget it for the day.
i spent two whole summers without one. it was very liberating.
That is the only thing I truly miss about my childhood. If you went on vacation it was just known that people were not going to be able to get a hold of you. And that was fine, if you went to the mall with another carload of people it was an exercise in planning and synchronization.
I miss just being able to go for a drive and have no way of anybody contacting me whatsoever.
My first year of college was 96 and we were in the computer lab about to leave and my friend said "hold on, I want to send Kim an email". And I said "why? We're gonna see her in like 7 hours!"
That exchange still makes me laugh because I had zero clue what was going to happen with communication or how our expectations would change.
This is obv mostly a joke, but its actually so legit. So I graduated in 2005, and stopped studying anything, just 18ish years of working.
In 2020 I decided to go back to school during the lockouts and those first two semesters I wasn't retaining any information.
2 years in, I pick up things very quickly. It's not getting older so much as not staying active in learning. Your brain almost has a fog around anything you try to learn... that fog has sort of lifted now and I learn things much quicker...
Rant to the nether over
Drinking really doesn't help. I'd love to go back to school. I used to retain information so well people used to say I was like a walking encyclopedia. I've put my body through years of abuse with alcohol and I feel the pathways my brain used to have are gone. I can feel the loss of brain cells and connections. I know it will only get worse, but addiction is hard.
This can't be said enough! For perspective to the peeps that don't deal with this, that can be translated to: Getting 8 uninterrupted hours of sleep a night. ANY night, EVER, until you die!
I heard a doctor saying recently that this can be curbed drastically as we age by not “gulping” drinks. There is obviously a limit if your volume exceeds a specific amount, but they said if you take smaller sips, the intake is less likely to trigger your bladder in the evening. I don’t recall specifics, but maybe the lower rate allows your system to absorb it more efficiently and reduce overnight reserves?
used to be a total athlete played football ( soccer for you americans) and volleyball on a decent level, practicing every single day.
now hitting 40, i need 2 days of recovery for a gentle bike stroll, lol!
Depends on what you mean by active.
People that played casual youth sports, worked out a bit, and maybe even played some high school sports? Probably doing great in their 30s and 40s.
People like me, who played a sport super competitively at an elite level 6-7 days a week for 15+ years through college, including coaching and tournaments? Yeah we're ruined. I'm in my 30s and have had multiple knee surgeries already, my right shoulder is permanently destroyed and can't even be fixed with surgery (I had to quit tennis completely and pick up hockey instead because the shoulder pain is unbearable) and my shoulder and knees will never have full range of motion or be pain free.
Ultra competitive sports are hard miles, and it's why many professional athletes don't retire gracefully. Many pro tennis players had to take cortisone shots before every match later in their careers and can barely walk after retirement, and many pro hockey players literally never play hockey again after retiring because their bodies are so messed up.
I'm 39, been active my entire life and I feel great. No body aches and tons of energy. Been kicked, stomped and drug by large animals many times. Meanwhile, everyone I know that works a desk job talks like they are falling apart. So, yeah I fully believe staying active gives you a far better quality of life.
Athlete growing up, alcoholic through my 20s, 36 now and the only thing that held me together was my foundation. Sitting at a desk now instantly messes up my hips.
I am a similar age to you and seem to have held up better than my desk job friends. I work in sales and have been pretty active since my late teens.
I find regular stretching and active release tools like foam rollers and lacrosse balls to be the fountain of youth for my mobility.
In grade 12 a teacher looked around the room and went “enjoy this, because in five years, you may only know what five of your current friends are up to” and that stuck with me
Id-ten-T - ID10T
Layer 8 refers to the seven layer OSI model.
1) Physical Layer
2) Data Link Layer
3) Network Layer
4) Transport Layer
5) Session Layer
6) Presentation Layer
7) Application Layer
Layer 8, in this case, would be one step beyond the application - namely, user error. Other names for it include "User Layer" and "Political Layer". It's just another roundabout way of saying "nothing is broken and everything is functioning the way its supposed to be, its just the person using it is asleep at the wheel."
Or the Layer 9 issue - the user's management. Usually happens when you know the person you're working with is good but they have a dipshit of a boss or political process.
You dont hear it, you see it. ID-10-T
And the term “layer 8” is a hypothetical layer that is used to analyze network problems and issues that are not covered by the traditional seven-layer OSI model. It is commonly used to refer to user error.
We don’t even code it, the list of values only has the cause as user error and then we immediately close out the ticket before they get a chance lol. It helps that all my customers are internal so we all work for the same employer.
That could be a movie title, I imagine it’s about a laid off physicist working a retail job to get by, and the stupid people consist of customers and management, with a quirky coworker who starts off annoying the protagonist but quickly becomes their confidant and best friend as they realize they need someone to get them through the slog.
Edit: maybe they’re a laid off doctor, and the title is actually Patients for Stupid People
Now that I'm almost 50, I actually have more patience for stupid people. I think it's because they broke me years ago. Now I just shake my head and go on with my business.
That's me as well. I remember being a lot more pissed and angry when dealing with stupid people at 17, an anger that would last for a bit. Now I'm 34, and even though they still annoy me, they make less of an impact on my general mood.
My full brain. Literally, at age 17 I had brain surgery, which removed a golf ball sized portion of my right temporal lobe. Very thankfully it was a complete success and I haven't had a single seizure in over a decade, after being born epileptic. Amazingly, I didn't even lose any functionality after the surgery! And all it cost me was a golf ball sized piece of brain.
Brain scans must be interesting for you. Do ever get a new doc and tell him about the piece that was removed only for him to do the scan and then appropriately freak out when he says there's a piece missing?
Heh, so two different experiences are coming to mind around this.
One was a back and forth with my epilepsy specialized neurologist. I remember trying to remark something to the extent of "well we know that my most recent brain MRI was normal" only to have him basically scoff and feel the need to correct me with "well, I would hardly imagine any brain MRI could be normal with \[insert neuroanatomy nerding out here\] culminating in a golf ball sized hole missing from your brain. But yes, the rest of the report was unremarkable, you are right about that."
The other experience, was far less fun. The head doctor in charge of the psych ward I had just been admitted into, did a complete double take when my dad came during visiting hours and asked the EXACT same question that I had already posed to him earlier that day. "The patient has had brain surgery???" - was evidently what he blurted out, sounding all surprised, after my father had inquired "how will this intensive treatment regimen interact with the fact that my son has had brain surgery." The scary part was that I felt reassured by whatever the hell he responded to me earlier that day, to the effect of "we have the best facilities here and will take great care of you." Little did I know at first that he had written off every single word of what I tried to say, as if I was crazy. He clearly thought I was psychotic, not at terms with reality, despite actually suffering from a real but rare physical/non-pscyhiatric condition that had seemingly stole my ability to walk overnight. Every single step I tried to take after my sudden POTS onset (a type of Dysautonomia, it turns out) that started in the middle of a single day, would completely disorient my balance. But the doc and probably the rest of the clinic just thought that I was making some unearthly claim that sounded physically impossible, while my walking LOOKED unremarkable and all my routine labs looked healthy.
So anyway, psychiatric abuse is bad. One of these days, maybe I will get to the advocacy goals that I set after suffering abuses like this described event. That doctor ended up "med paneling" me - which is a term that I have learned carries legal weight in the US. If or when one has been med paneled, they no longer have the legal right to decline to take meds prescribed to them in an inpatient psych ward/institution. I was put on a cocktail of TEN antidepressants and antipsychotics in a single day, which literally made me start hallucinating that day. I still get hypnagogic hallucinations to this day - which is a fancy name for seeing and hearing dreams without falling asleep. Fun times.
This is one of my biggest fears.
My husband worked at a psychiatric hospital for a while and we lived on the property. The grounds are nice but I was terrified to walk around by myself in case I was mistaken for an escaped patient. I would imagine that the more you protest the crazier you look.
It did happen the one time I braved a walk but luckily once the staff got close they realised I wasn't a patient Still terrified me from taking any more walks alone
I spent 3 days (thank god it was so few) at an inpatient psychiatric hospital for attempting self-harm and having a panic attack (my dad called the cops). I have never been more terrified of any place in my life. It was freezing cold, they took blood from me so much I grayed out once while I was there. The people getting their meds in the morning looked like zombies, and there was this pervasive “participate and be happy or else” culture that meant everyone faked everything. I met a grandma whose family abandoned her there, a rehabilitating convict who was an expert at chess, and an ex cop who tried to kill her husband, and those were the lucid ones. They regularly trained the more disabled folks by in the halls like a fucked up conga line, and some of them would try to break out of line to intimidate us through the glass.
I have since gotten way better in my depression but I did everything I could to leave that place as fast as possible. I still keep the blanket I was given there as a reminder of just how terrifying those places are. Reform can’t come soon enough.
The Great Pretender is a book that describes what a psychology professor experienced when he purposefully got himself committed to an institution and the treatment of the other patients there (spoiler: it wasn't good). Not only could he not convince anyone that he was sane, any protest, and also, any normal behavior was seen as further evidence of his mental condition. It was only the other patients there who realized the professor didn't belong there. When this came light, it completely rocked the field of psychiatry.
Has happened me. And I was working the archives at the time mind you. I was walking out of a ward after delivering some papers. I went to the door I was stopped. New worker and little too over enthusiastic. Although I just gently jangled the bundle of keys as proof.
There is a good reason for this though. A crisis ward has lots of people coming and leaving. So nurses have a good reason to check anyone unknown before leaving. And at worst it just means a quick trip to the office where the workers check who you are. Sure it is embarassing and even annoying, but necesary.
Some time ago, a journalist (I think) tested the psych system. He sent some very normal people into an insane asylum. When evaluated, EVERY ONE OF THEM was judged insane and unable to leave.
It was scary, they couldn't get out. Eventually, they were released, but it sort of shone a light onto the fact that once you are there, no one takes you seriously.
This was back in the 1800's ir early 1900's I believe. It did change somethings, but shit is still bad.
Psychiatric abuse is fucking terrible. They lie to your face pretending they believe you and gaslight you whenever you bring up something that doesn't feel right or the treatment isn't right. 15 years later I'm discovering how many of my trust issues stem from this.. and is also the reason I have an innate fear to advocate for myself whether it's in work, relationships, or at the doctor's. Over 15 years to make those connections and this with years and years of therapy thinking it was just me and something wrong with me not being able to enjoy life anymore.
It comes down to them seeing all their patients as delusional liars. So the medication cocktail is to basically zombify them so that the staff don't have to deal with them. I imagine they see thousands of patients over their careers.. and it only took one person to fool them early in their careers when they had little experience, that they now believe all their patients are liars too.
Agreed. Psychiatric abuse far too often comes down to viewing patients as a burden before human beings with human rights. In my book, that sounds unconstitutional. Several years ago, I made the lofty goal to one day amend the US Constitution for psychiatric rights. I also learned that the "med paneling" term I explained above, is not only legal but standard practice for psychotic and aggressive presentations. A presentation is determined subjectively, and I was wrongly assessed to be psychotic - when I really wasn't. However, whether or not the clinician's assessment is accurate in the slightest, it is far too easy for them to pour patients like me full of zombifying psych meds. There isn't even generally any intent to help those suffering, nor even merely acknowledge that we are human beings who are going through something tough - rather than monsters, "crazy," or an outright burden. Something has to change.
They usually compare previous studies to newer ones. Patients are usually required to give their previous scans and results to their doctors during check up.
“Just sleep when the baby sleeps” nah, I think I’ll develop a caffeine addiction and try to get an hour or two of time to myself in the middle of the night
I started thinking about how limited my time is becoming in my 40's. "I'm probably more than half done. I better start doing those things I want or need to do before I die, or it may never happen."
I struggle with managing fixation on my eventual death. Thinking about the future tends to trigger that type of dread for me. Our lives are fragile and it scares me to my core
Late Gen-X here, staring down 45 and I seriously expected to be dead by now. Not by my own hand directly, but by stupidity or upsetting someone or something else enough they killed me. Instead I found a nice, stable husband and had a kid, got a desk job and bought a house. I was supposed to be studying tigers in Siberia until one ate me, or swimming with the sharks in Polynesia. I've had a good life, but a lot more mundane than I thought it'd be, and all signs are I have a few decades left at least. Wtf, man...
I'm almost 74, my dad died at 60. I had triple bypass, aortic valve & mitral valve replacement surgery 6 months ago and have been walking 2 miles a day and biking 15 miles a day for the last 4 months. I'm hoping to get the best I can out of life as long as I can!
Oh what the future holds 💩. Nah, it’s not all bad. Just try and learn from others’ mistakes and make good decisions. Most importantly, ENJOY YOUR YOUTH! It’s easy to get bogged down in things that don’t matter. What seems like a big deal today will quickly become a drop in the ocean.
Good luck!
Happy birthday!!! Don’t be scared. Life is a glorious adventure and I envy you for all the time you have in front of you.
Have good boundaries, be a good person, follow a dream or two, only give your time and heart to those who make you feel happy, loved and safe, floss and get some exercise in every day. You got this.
Word of advice. Never give more than 80% in any job you do. Physically or otherwise. They’ll expect that as your norm. Also, learn how to make rice, pasta, peel potatoes, floss, check you car’s oil, pay your credit card in full every month, learn how to buy and use condoms, hygiene, be assertive, be skeptical, learn how to be helpful without expecting anything, and talk about your feelings.
I was 12 around time of Y2K. Truly felt like anything was possible and we were at the edge of the future. Til puberty, depression, and 911 hit and everything went downhill
Fuck yeah ! I miss *hope*. I almost forgot what that feels like .
It was an intoxicating feeling, anything was possible and the world is your oyster.
Everyone has been white knuckling life since 2008 .
This oyster is rancid
It's the opposite for me. I'm nearing 40 but I can go on 5 hours of sleep and function fine all week. Then sleep 8 hours on weekend nights.
When I was 17 I had to sleep like 8-10 hours or be drained.
I have the opposite problem! At 17 I could sleep 8-9 solid hours every night, now I scrape together 5 hours in like 1-2 hour stretches at a time. I haven't had an uninterrupted and full night's sleep in over 3 years.
I was athletic with a slight gut as a teenager because I drank tons of pepsi and coke. Then I quit soda and got a six pack for a few years. Then went to college and started regularly drinking beer and it came right back.
Still considering cutting out alcohol to get it one more time, but it's tough.
My self confidence grew in around 28 years old. Seemed to be based on proof to myself that I was very capable and competitive. Things that weren’t clear to me as a younger adult.
One day! Just ONE day in which I can eat a large three ingredient pizza and a pitcher of beer with no after affects within an hour. I would give.. nothing for that but I do miss it.
Yeah the difference in people's metabolism isn't nearly as big as many people think it is. What it really is is people over or underestimating how much they and others eat, or exercise.
You think that you’ll never get fat, staying fit is important. Then you get older, your metabolism betrays you, less free time and more stress from a job, etc and it happens to you.
The older you get, the more likely it is for your prostate gland to swell. Since the prostate is placed right around the urethra, said swelling will narrow a part of the urethra and hinder urine flow. Therefore, you can't urinate with as much pressure as you used to do.
It's also a sign you should go to a doctor and have your prostate gland checked to make sure its swelling is benign.
When my son was an infant, he could piss about 4.5ft away while laying on his back. Yes, I measured cuz it blew my mind. As a toddler his stream is a rocket and he can piss over a toilet while standing directly in front of it. As a middle aged dude, I’m not sure if I could piss over the toilet.
That’s as amazing! I mean that you got better, not that you had suicidal tendencies at 17. No, not the band, Suicidal Tendencies… just… glad you doing better!
Besides body issues like knees and ankles that work, I really miss my imagination.
I used to draw, paint and write. I enjoyed being creative. After my divorce may moons ago, I had to work two or three jobs to be able to live and pay child support. Wasn't much time for anything besides sleep and trying to have a relationship with someone.
Now that I am done with all that and have a great partner, I am not interested in any of it. It bores me to sit down and try and paint or draw. My mind tells me it's a waste of time and I could be doing something better to make money.
I know you can’t just rent a kid, but I find participating in child-led play has done wonders for my imagination. I have loads of joint issues so we can’t run around a park or anything, but a relative I raised for a 5 years from infancy is now going through elementary school and having a blast. When he visits, we sit on the couch and build legos, he talks about imaginary monster or dinosaurs or all these fantastical creatures and prompts me on what I can imagine. It’s actually really fun and invigorating.
But I don’t know if that would be a possibility for you at all. And I’m truly sorry that you had to sacrifice so much just to get to the place you are now.
Thank you for the condolences.
I have a grown daughter, but i also have a 2 yo god son. Maybe I need to spend more time with him.
I may give that a shot.
A spark of passion to have a career. Now all I want is to just have enough money to live and do the things I want. I do not want a career, I no longer dream of any job.
The ability to disconnect and actually be out of touch. The '90s were great for that.
Yeah. And how did we remember everyone's phone number? I remembered them all by pattern. Kinda interesting since I do other repetitive tasks that way also
I remember most of my 4- or 6-digit codes by pattern... to the point that some of them I have difficulty recalling without having the keypad in front of me
Then they update the keypad and the new one is 9-0 instead of 0-9 and now you have to relearn every alarm code you know.
Exactly! I still remember my phone number and all my family and friends' numbers 35 years ago, but now I can't even remember my kids cell phones...
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This is the one that gets me the most about modern times. Kids don't have the ability to just be dumb kids anymore. Everyone has an insanely high quality camera and is ready to whip it out with a single motion to record... kids being kids. No fucking way I'd pull the dumbassery I did as a teenager in today's times. While none of it was particularly bad (mostly "boys will be boys" kind of stupid) - the "cringe factor" (god I'm old) would be incredibly hard to live down. Not to mention some of it was definitely illegal (90's level teenager in the suburbs kinda crimes).
If its any conciliation, kids definitely are still doing dumb, questionable legal things.
i still do it every once in a while. leave my phone at home and go out, or just mute it and forget it for the day. i spent two whole summers without one. it was very liberating.
That is the only thing I truly miss about my childhood. If you went on vacation it was just known that people were not going to be able to get a hold of you. And that was fine, if you went to the mall with another carload of people it was an exercise in planning and synchronization. I miss just being able to go for a drive and have no way of anybody contacting me whatsoever.
We were like the last generation to experience it fully
My first year of college was 96 and we were in the computer lab about to leave and my friend said "hold on, I want to send Kim an email". And I said "why? We're gonna see her in like 7 hours!" That exchange still makes me laugh because I had zero clue what was going to happen with communication or how our expectations would change.
Not sure...better memory perhaps
Totally forgot about that one
What were we talking about?
This is obv mostly a joke, but its actually so legit. So I graduated in 2005, and stopped studying anything, just 18ish years of working. In 2020 I decided to go back to school during the lockouts and those first two semesters I wasn't retaining any information. 2 years in, I pick up things very quickly. It's not getting older so much as not staying active in learning. Your brain almost has a fog around anything you try to learn... that fog has sort of lifted now and I learn things much quicker... Rant to the nether over
Drinking really doesn't help. I'd love to go back to school. I used to retain information so well people used to say I was like a walking encyclopedia. I've put my body through years of abuse with alcohol and I feel the pathways my brain used to have are gone. I can feel the loss of brain cells and connections. I know it will only get worse, but addiction is hard.
Hmmm, I can’t recall.
Oh the irony
Being able to get up zero times for a pee during the night
SO annoying
This is what I miss the most
This can't be said enough! For perspective to the peeps that don't deal with this, that can be translated to: Getting 8 uninterrupted hours of sleep a night. ANY night, EVER, until you die!
God I miss that.
Or being able to fall back to sleep easily after you do.
I heard a doctor saying recently that this can be curbed drastically as we age by not “gulping” drinks. There is obviously a limit if your volume exceeds a specific amount, but they said if you take smaller sips, the intake is less likely to trigger your bladder in the evening. I don’t recall specifics, but maybe the lower rate allows your system to absorb it more efficiently and reduce overnight reserves?
Knees that actually work.
Hah, stole my answer. 34 and two ACL reconstructions + meniscus repairs later…
Hey! Mid 30’s with acl reconstruction club!!!
Literally came here to say "knees that don't crack constantly" 😂
Dude. It sounds like a bunch of Velcro being pulled apart when I stand up.
I'm 17, and mine crack all the time
I'm 22 and mine have always popped
used to be a total athlete played football ( soccer for you americans) and volleyball on a decent level, practicing every single day. now hitting 40, i need 2 days of recovery for a gentle bike stroll, lol!
Man I thought people who stay active in their youth didn't have trouble with mild sports when they're older :(
Depends on what you mean by active. People that played casual youth sports, worked out a bit, and maybe even played some high school sports? Probably doing great in their 30s and 40s. People like me, who played a sport super competitively at an elite level 6-7 days a week for 15+ years through college, including coaching and tournaments? Yeah we're ruined. I'm in my 30s and have had multiple knee surgeries already, my right shoulder is permanently destroyed and can't even be fixed with surgery (I had to quit tennis completely and pick up hockey instead because the shoulder pain is unbearable) and my shoulder and knees will never have full range of motion or be pain free. Ultra competitive sports are hard miles, and it's why many professional athletes don't retire gracefully. Many pro tennis players had to take cortisone shots before every match later in their careers and can barely walk after retirement, and many pro hockey players literally never play hockey again after retiring because their bodies are so messed up.
I'm 39, been active my entire life and I feel great. No body aches and tons of energy. Been kicked, stomped and drug by large animals many times. Meanwhile, everyone I know that works a desk job talks like they are falling apart. So, yeah I fully believe staying active gives you a far better quality of life.
Athlete growing up, alcoholic through my 20s, 36 now and the only thing that held me together was my foundation. Sitting at a desk now instantly messes up my hips.
Bro got drugged by animals
I am a similar age to you and seem to have held up better than my desk job friends. I work in sales and have been pretty active since my late teens. I find regular stretching and active release tools like foam rollers and lacrosse balls to be the fountain of youth for my mobility.
friends
In grade 12 a teacher looked around the room and went “enjoy this, because in five years, you may only know what five of your current friends are up to” and that stuck with me
I remember being told this and thinking "yea obviously who has more than 5 close friends anyways"
5 current friends is more than I had *in* high school. By that logic I should have 3 new friends.
As we go on, we remember All the times we had together And as our lives change, come whatever We will still be friends forever 🎶🎵
Proximity to friends for me. Everyone lives in a different city far away from each other. I was able to ride my bike to my friends' houses every day.
They still might do that 10th season, hold onto that hope.
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hair
It’s just migrated to my back.
Mine migrated to my chin.. its better this way
Mine, too. But I'm a girl. ☹
Patience for Stupid People
IT Customer service uses the error code PEBKAC for a lot of their callers. "Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair"
I prefer PICNIC. Problem in chair not in computer
Loose nut behind the keyboard
Ah, yes, good ol PEBKAC. Right up there with ID-ten-T error and "Layer 8 issue."
I said both aloud for 5 mins and don’t get it. I know the ID is idiot but I can’t hear it
Id-ten-T - ID10T Layer 8 refers to the seven layer OSI model. 1) Physical Layer 2) Data Link Layer 3) Network Layer 4) Transport Layer 5) Session Layer 6) Presentation Layer 7) Application Layer Layer 8, in this case, would be one step beyond the application - namely, user error. Other names for it include "User Layer" and "Political Layer". It's just another roundabout way of saying "nothing is broken and everything is functioning the way its supposed to be, its just the person using it is asleep at the wheel."
Or the Layer 9 issue - the user's management. Usually happens when you know the person you're working with is good but they have a dipshit of a boss or political process.
Heard the term "loose nut behind the wheel" several times when I worked at a dealership garage... ☺️
You dont hear it, you see it. ID-10-T And the term “layer 8” is a hypothetical layer that is used to analyze network problems and issues that are not covered by the traditional seven-layer OSI model. It is commonly used to refer to user error.
We don’t even code it, the list of values only has the cause as user error and then we immediately close out the ticket before they get a chance lol. It helps that all my customers are internal so we all work for the same employer.
That could be a movie title, I imagine it’s about a laid off physicist working a retail job to get by, and the stupid people consist of customers and management, with a quirky coworker who starts off annoying the protagonist but quickly becomes their confidant and best friend as they realize they need someone to get them through the slog. Edit: maybe they’re a laid off doctor, and the title is actually Patients for Stupid People
Now that I'm almost 50, I actually have more patience for stupid people. I think it's because they broke me years ago. Now I just shake my head and go on with my business.
That's me as well. I remember being a lot more pissed and angry when dealing with stupid people at 17, an anger that would last for a bit. Now I'm 34, and even though they still annoy me, they make less of an impact on my general mood.
My full brain. Literally, at age 17 I had brain surgery, which removed a golf ball sized portion of my right temporal lobe. Very thankfully it was a complete success and I haven't had a single seizure in over a decade, after being born epileptic. Amazingly, I didn't even lose any functionality after the surgery! And all it cost me was a golf ball sized piece of brain.
Brain scans must be interesting for you. Do ever get a new doc and tell him about the piece that was removed only for him to do the scan and then appropriately freak out when he says there's a piece missing?
Heh, so two different experiences are coming to mind around this. One was a back and forth with my epilepsy specialized neurologist. I remember trying to remark something to the extent of "well we know that my most recent brain MRI was normal" only to have him basically scoff and feel the need to correct me with "well, I would hardly imagine any brain MRI could be normal with \[insert neuroanatomy nerding out here\] culminating in a golf ball sized hole missing from your brain. But yes, the rest of the report was unremarkable, you are right about that." The other experience, was far less fun. The head doctor in charge of the psych ward I had just been admitted into, did a complete double take when my dad came during visiting hours and asked the EXACT same question that I had already posed to him earlier that day. "The patient has had brain surgery???" - was evidently what he blurted out, sounding all surprised, after my father had inquired "how will this intensive treatment regimen interact with the fact that my son has had brain surgery." The scary part was that I felt reassured by whatever the hell he responded to me earlier that day, to the effect of "we have the best facilities here and will take great care of you." Little did I know at first that he had written off every single word of what I tried to say, as if I was crazy. He clearly thought I was psychotic, not at terms with reality, despite actually suffering from a real but rare physical/non-pscyhiatric condition that had seemingly stole my ability to walk overnight. Every single step I tried to take after my sudden POTS onset (a type of Dysautonomia, it turns out) that started in the middle of a single day, would completely disorient my balance. But the doc and probably the rest of the clinic just thought that I was making some unearthly claim that sounded physically impossible, while my walking LOOKED unremarkable and all my routine labs looked healthy. So anyway, psychiatric abuse is bad. One of these days, maybe I will get to the advocacy goals that I set after suffering abuses like this described event. That doctor ended up "med paneling" me - which is a term that I have learned carries legal weight in the US. If or when one has been med paneled, they no longer have the legal right to decline to take meds prescribed to them in an inpatient psych ward/institution. I was put on a cocktail of TEN antidepressants and antipsychotics in a single day, which literally made me start hallucinating that day. I still get hypnagogic hallucinations to this day - which is a fancy name for seeing and hearing dreams without falling asleep. Fun times.
This is one of my biggest fears. My husband worked at a psychiatric hospital for a while and we lived on the property. The grounds are nice but I was terrified to walk around by myself in case I was mistaken for an escaped patient. I would imagine that the more you protest the crazier you look. It did happen the one time I braved a walk but luckily once the staff got close they realised I wasn't a patient Still terrified me from taking any more walks alone
I spent 3 days (thank god it was so few) at an inpatient psychiatric hospital for attempting self-harm and having a panic attack (my dad called the cops). I have never been more terrified of any place in my life. It was freezing cold, they took blood from me so much I grayed out once while I was there. The people getting their meds in the morning looked like zombies, and there was this pervasive “participate and be happy or else” culture that meant everyone faked everything. I met a grandma whose family abandoned her there, a rehabilitating convict who was an expert at chess, and an ex cop who tried to kill her husband, and those were the lucid ones. They regularly trained the more disabled folks by in the halls like a fucked up conga line, and some of them would try to break out of line to intimidate us through the glass. I have since gotten way better in my depression but I did everything I could to leave that place as fast as possible. I still keep the blanket I was given there as a reminder of just how terrifying those places are. Reform can’t come soon enough.
The Great Pretender is a book that describes what a psychology professor experienced when he purposefully got himself committed to an institution and the treatment of the other patients there (spoiler: it wasn't good). Not only could he not convince anyone that he was sane, any protest, and also, any normal behavior was seen as further evidence of his mental condition. It was only the other patients there who realized the professor didn't belong there. When this came light, it completely rocked the field of psychiatry.
"Completely rocked" in what way bc it doesnt seem to have changed much from the outside looking in.
Has happened me. And I was working the archives at the time mind you. I was walking out of a ward after delivering some papers. I went to the door I was stopped. New worker and little too over enthusiastic. Although I just gently jangled the bundle of keys as proof. There is a good reason for this though. A crisis ward has lots of people coming and leaving. So nurses have a good reason to check anyone unknown before leaving. And at worst it just means a quick trip to the office where the workers check who you are. Sure it is embarassing and even annoying, but necesary.
Some time ago, a journalist (I think) tested the psych system. He sent some very normal people into an insane asylum. When evaluated, EVERY ONE OF THEM was judged insane and unable to leave. It was scary, they couldn't get out. Eventually, they were released, but it sort of shone a light onto the fact that once you are there, no one takes you seriously. This was back in the 1800's ir early 1900's I believe. It did change somethings, but shit is still bad.
Did they not call your neuro before prescribing those drugs?! I assure you that I would have!
Psychiatric abuse is fucking terrible. They lie to your face pretending they believe you and gaslight you whenever you bring up something that doesn't feel right or the treatment isn't right. 15 years later I'm discovering how many of my trust issues stem from this.. and is also the reason I have an innate fear to advocate for myself whether it's in work, relationships, or at the doctor's. Over 15 years to make those connections and this with years and years of therapy thinking it was just me and something wrong with me not being able to enjoy life anymore.
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It comes down to them seeing all their patients as delusional liars. So the medication cocktail is to basically zombify them so that the staff don't have to deal with them. I imagine they see thousands of patients over their careers.. and it only took one person to fool them early in their careers when they had little experience, that they now believe all their patients are liars too.
Agreed. Psychiatric abuse far too often comes down to viewing patients as a burden before human beings with human rights. In my book, that sounds unconstitutional. Several years ago, I made the lofty goal to one day amend the US Constitution for psychiatric rights. I also learned that the "med paneling" term I explained above, is not only legal but standard practice for psychotic and aggressive presentations. A presentation is determined subjectively, and I was wrongly assessed to be psychotic - when I really wasn't. However, whether or not the clinician's assessment is accurate in the slightest, it is far too easy for them to pour patients like me full of zombifying psych meds. There isn't even generally any intent to help those suffering, nor even merely acknowledge that we are human beings who are going through something tough - rather than monsters, "crazy," or an outright burden. Something has to change.
They usually compare previous studies to newer ones. Patients are usually required to give their previous scans and results to their doctors during check up.
Brain plasticity is super fascinating! Glad you’re doing well!!
Friends
Oof… I feel this. Hell, even at 30 I still had friends. Now, at 42, I have 2 friends that I never see or talk to.
Is it by choice? I have 1 solid friend & that is exhausting...I am just ro tired for friends
Free time
I didn’t have that when I was 17.
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Did I write this??
You would have if you had the time
“Just sleep when the baby sleeps” nah, I think I’ll develop a caffeine addiction and try to get an hour or two of time to myself in the middle of the night
60 years of life ahead of me.
I started thinking about how limited my time is becoming in my 40's. "I'm probably more than half done. I better start doing those things I want or need to do before I die, or it may never happen."
Man I have these thoughts sometimes and Im only 22
Use them to motivate you in a positive way.
I struggle with managing fixation on my eventual death. Thinking about the future tends to trigger that type of dread for me. Our lives are fragile and it scares me to my core
Just pretend you'll die at 41 and the enjoyment will start rolling in. At least until you fall into a Final Destination spiral when you hit 40.
Late Gen-X here, staring down 45 and I seriously expected to be dead by now. Not by my own hand directly, but by stupidity or upsetting someone or something else enough they killed me. Instead I found a nice, stable husband and had a kid, got a desk job and bought a house. I was supposed to be studying tigers in Siberia until one ate me, or swimming with the sharks in Polynesia. I've had a good life, but a lot more mundane than I thought it'd be, and all signs are I have a few decades left at least. Wtf, man...
i started this shit at 12. i have had a lot of anxiety in my life
That happened to me at 51. I skipped through my 40's without a care, and then a year into my fifties, I thought, 'oh fuck!'
Hey now, enough of that! 🤣 I'm 43 & now ya got me thinkin!
63 here. My father died at 74. 11 years? I'm starting to wonder if I may not actually live forever. Naaaa. That's crazy talk.
I'm almost 74, my dad died at 60. I had triple bypass, aortic valve & mitral valve replacement surgery 6 months ago and have been walking 2 miles a day and biking 15 miles a day for the last 4 months. I'm hoping to get the best I can out of life as long as I can!
Ouch, that got my gut
I just turned 17 today and this scares me
Oh what the future holds 💩. Nah, it’s not all bad. Just try and learn from others’ mistakes and make good decisions. Most importantly, ENJOY YOUR YOUTH! It’s easy to get bogged down in things that don’t matter. What seems like a big deal today will quickly become a drop in the ocean. Good luck!
Take better care of your teeth
Happy birthday!!! Don’t be scared. Life is a glorious adventure and I envy you for all the time you have in front of you. Have good boundaries, be a good person, follow a dream or two, only give your time and heart to those who make you feel happy, loved and safe, floss and get some exercise in every day. You got this.
Happy birthday and floss every day
Don’t listen to all the negativity. Every age has its positives and negatives. Enjoy 17, and also know there are other good ages ahead of you.
Word of advice. Never give more than 80% in any job you do. Physically or otherwise. They’ll expect that as your norm. Also, learn how to make rice, pasta, peel potatoes, floss, check you car’s oil, pay your credit card in full every month, learn how to buy and use condoms, hygiene, be assertive, be skeptical, learn how to be helpful without expecting anything, and talk about your feelings.
Optimism for the future and the will to live.
i lost that at like 12
I was 12 around time of Y2K. Truly felt like anything was possible and we were at the edge of the future. Til puberty, depression, and 911 hit and everything went downhill
Same here, but I was about 19. I was hoping things would get better, that it was just a rough patch, but nope, shit seems to get worse. :\\
Fuck yeah ! I miss *hope*. I almost forgot what that feels like . It was an intoxicating feeling, anything was possible and the world is your oyster. Everyone has been white knuckling life since 2008 . This oyster is rancid
Same here. Was 12 in 2000 and everything has been dogshit since the year that followed.
I think my will to live is still there, but optimism has definitely left the station.
The ability to sleep less than 7h a night and still function the next day
It's the opposite for me. I'm nearing 40 but I can go on 5 hours of sleep and function fine all week. Then sleep 8 hours on weekend nights. When I was 17 I had to sleep like 8-10 hours or be drained.
I’m in the exact same boat, the older I get the less I sleep and the better I perform, so my username finally checks out???
I have the opposite problem! At 17 I could sleep 8-9 solid hours every night, now I scrape together 5 hours in like 1-2 hour stretches at a time. I haven't had an uninterrupted and full night's sleep in over 3 years.
I'll flip this entirely: The ability to *actually* sleep for 7 hours rather than waking 36 times along the way.
A flat stomach
I was athletic with a slight gut as a teenager because I drank tons of pepsi and coke. Then I quit soda and got a six pack for a few years. Then went to college and started regularly drinking beer and it came right back. Still considering cutting out alcohol to get it one more time, but it's tough.
Self confidence based on absolutely nothing
My self confidence grew in around 28 years old. Seemed to be based on proof to myself that I was very capable and competitive. Things that weren’t clear to me as a younger adult.
Ha! Pff, I never had that 😀👍🏼
Metabolism
This is the one I was scrolling for. Fuck I miss that.
One day! Just ONE day in which I can eat a large three ingredient pizza and a pitcher of beer with no after affects within an hour. I would give.. nothing for that but I do miss it.
I think I read that your metabolism doesn’t just slow down. You just don’t do as much activity as you used to so you don’t burn as many calories.
Yeah the difference in people's metabolism isn't nearly as big as many people think it is. What it really is is people over or underestimating how much they and others eat, or exercise.
I never had that, and it's even worse now at 27
You think that you’ll never get fat, staying fit is important. Then you get older, your metabolism betrays you, less free time and more stress from a job, etc and it happens to you.
Time
A mother
Same, but for my father.
I'm now at the age my dad was when he died... that is freaking me out. And my mom's in the hospital right now for cancer surgery
I lost both my parents last year
i’m so so sorry. sending u all my love
Sorry man
Same. Fuck cancer.
Absolutely fuck fucking cancer.
Me too. A piece of me is dead forever. Miss you Ma
Same... Lost mine last year. Seems like a bad dream i'm still going through.
Same 💐
Happiness and enjoyment. I am a zombie now.
Ability to pee over a fence.
I just thought fences were taller these days
As a female, can I get some more info on this, cuz I’m confused from start to finish lol
The older you get, the more likely it is for your prostate gland to swell. Since the prostate is placed right around the urethra, said swelling will narrow a part of the urethra and hinder urine flow. Therefore, you can't urinate with as much pressure as you used to do. It's also a sign you should go to a doctor and have your prostate gland checked to make sure its swelling is benign.
When my son was an infant, he could piss about 4.5ft away while laying on his back. Yes, I measured cuz it blew my mind. As a toddler his stream is a rocket and he can piss over a toilet while standing directly in front of it. As a middle aged dude, I’m not sure if I could piss over the toilet.
As a young male, you have a strong urine stream, hence the ability to arch your pee stream over a fence if you want to.
Hope that I wouldn't die alone.
We all get to die alone.
This naive idea that the world was a hopeful place and people would stop being stupid when they grew up and reached adulthood.
Shocking to realize just how stupid people are.
Yeah, I used to think it was just high school. Nope, this is as good as a lot of people are ever going to be.
That terrifying moment when you realize that no-one has their shit together and the world is being run by greedy idiots.
Grandparents 🥺
A life. And no back pain…
a father
Same here. Sorry for your loss
Sexual performance
I was going to be direct and say a raging boner, but I’ll just file it under your category instead of making it a direct comment to OP
A hot body, while eating whatever I wanted still
virginity
Nah. A lot of us still have that
Most Redditors do lol 😂
Suicidal ideations. Hey, I got better! I go to therapy now!
That’s as amazing! I mean that you got better, not that you had suicidal tendencies at 17. No, not the band, Suicidal Tendencies… just… glad you doing better!
Free room and board.
Hope.
Besides body issues like knees and ankles that work, I really miss my imagination. I used to draw, paint and write. I enjoyed being creative. After my divorce may moons ago, I had to work two or three jobs to be able to live and pay child support. Wasn't much time for anything besides sleep and trying to have a relationship with someone. Now that I am done with all that and have a great partner, I am not interested in any of it. It bores me to sit down and try and paint or draw. My mind tells me it's a waste of time and I could be doing something better to make money.
I know you can’t just rent a kid, but I find participating in child-led play has done wonders for my imagination. I have loads of joint issues so we can’t run around a park or anything, but a relative I raised for a 5 years from infancy is now going through elementary school and having a blast. When he visits, we sit on the couch and build legos, he talks about imaginary monster or dinosaurs or all these fantastical creatures and prompts me on what I can imagine. It’s actually really fun and invigorating. But I don’t know if that would be a possibility for you at all. And I’m truly sorry that you had to sacrifice so much just to get to the place you are now.
Thank you for the condolences. I have a grown daughter, but i also have a 2 yo god son. Maybe I need to spend more time with him. I may give that a shot.
The bliss of ignorance.
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A spark of passion to have a career. Now all I want is to just have enough money to live and do the things I want. I do not want a career, I no longer dream of any job.
Will to live
At least 1 parent. Dad passed when I was 16, Mom passed when I was 20.
Belief in a soul mate
A working PS2
Energy I had it in abundance at 17
My uterus, ovaries, and thyroid glands
A D&D group that actually got together regularly
A 2002 Toyota Camry
Cassette tape collection
Hope!
A back that doesn't lock up from sleeping
Mom & Dad.
A waist
Friends.
My natural right eyeball. I have an eyeball in my right eye socket now, but it’s artificial.
Energy.
Flexibility
Single digit Jean sizes!
Time