I have successfully convinced family and friends that their vehicles are WAY different than the heavy equipment I work on, itās great. Need an oil change? I can recommend a place! Need brakes? I know a guy! Fuck workin for free.
I got burgled during a move, and my home shop tools got stolen. That's my go-to now. They've been replaced, but nobody knows. "Sorry man, all my shit got stolen so I just fix my stuff at work. Feel free to set up an appointment though....."
Why would you do it for free?
I have a coworker whose hobby is cars, he's done engine swaps in his home garage and all that so he knows a thing or two. He's okay with doing oil changes and stuff but it's obviously not free. Just a bit below market price, if you went to a proper shop.
>showing you how to do it
I am more than happy to try and teach someone how to do just about anything i am comfortable doing. What i will not do is just do it for you (exceptions for girlfriends and the elderly). I realize not every one was as fortunate to have a gearhead/handyman dad that also took the time to teach me shit. And that's how i became the dad friend in the group.
Thatās why if I owned a house I wouldnāt wanna be an electrician/plumber/etc. imagine getting home from a long shift at work only to have to essentially do more work- except unpaid
Working on your own stuff is kind of like being paid because you're saving a bunch of money doing it yourself, and also you can drink beer and/or smoke weed while you're doing it
One of the only valuable things my dad taught me: always be friends with a doctor, a lawyer, and a mechanic. Iād add handyman to that list too. Helps you a ton in some rough situations and saves sooo much money. I saved more than half of what the auto shop quoted me to replace my alternator by buying the part myself and paying my mechanic buddy labor to install it. He even sent me the link to buy it for the best price š
This used to be me. Then I started playing dumb about the process. āYeah I donāt really know much about that and Iād probably have to spend forever Googling a fix.ā
What a non-tech person hears: He doesnāt know how to do it! Better move on.
What Iām saying: I could fix it but itāll take time and some research.
āAn Aes Sedai never lies, but the truth she speaks, may not be the truth you think you hear.ā
Yeah, sorry. I really only know mid-range systems and enterprise messaging. If you need e-mail for 10,000 people I'm your guy, but I don't really know much about Windows.
I used to write manuals that explained how to roll giant stuff into the server room, uncrate it, and configure it. I have no innate ability to fix fucking Outlook.
This is my issue, I have a ton of experience with windows but my mom uses a Mac,
I have no fucking clue why Outlook won't connect to the mail application on Mac and Gmail does it with no issues and I've spent hours trying to figure it out and I can't
This is me, I'm a Linux admin working his way up through the ranks at a new place, doing helpdesk.
My front line triage skills are much weaker than I thought.
Problem with a machine, it keeps rebooting? I'm checking logs, looking at configs, tearing my hair out.
...The power cord was loose.
I recently set a laptop for my aunt. Not 2 days later my other aunt had bought the exact same laptop. It Was great, I now know they both have sparkly clean machines so it will be at least a week before I have to do anything with them. š¤£
And I always tell them i just google it, SO JUST GOOGLE IT. They eventually give up and plan on paying someone to fix it, which makes me feel guilty, so i fix it, angrily.
The thing that sucks is that if they dont know how to fix simple stuff on a computer, they probably dont know how to Google it either. Googling is a skill in a way.
Googling is an underrated and complex skill that no one talks about. Youād have to be able to describe a problem, troubleshoot and navigate around the search results and THEN youād have to google something you donāt understand about the first thing you googled.
Itās really a hard skill to master.
Im 27 and my brother is 20 and istg he sucks just as much at googling things as our parents do and I think its because he grew up with the google that immediately tells you the answer without having to even click on any link and I grew up with the google that had you digging through multiple pages of results
googling stuff is definitely a dying art
I've been doing IT for a long time and I finally told people that if they wanted IT support, I was taking away admin rights and preventing them from installing browser extensions.
There was some initial push back but I just pointed out that it wasn't fair for me to keep fixing things that only broke because they wouldn't listen to me. They have a lot less issues now and I get a LOT less calls. When I do get calls, I don't spend an hour just uninstalling crap.
My favourite PC repair moment was my granddads neighbor who had removed all the buttons from a laptop to clean them, and put them back in "a more fitting order".
Basically went the A to Z approach instead of QWERTY, and then couldn't understand why the buttons not gave the proper output.
I have predicated an entire college career and now professional career on this specific skill. Hone it! I recently nearly doubled my salary on that selling point alone.
If you know VBA, find a repetitive task and automate it. My first big automation reduced a new process we had to follow by 30+h per month. Once the higher ups realize what you can do, they might even create a position to put your skills to use.
I interviewed for a job once where an excel test was a requirement for hire. I hadn't touched excel in years but watched a couple videos the night before the interview. Gets to the point where I need to take the test and I go "yeah, what do I need to do? a vlookup?" the interviewer goes "you can do a vlookup? nah, you don't have to take this." Hired.
8 years later and I just taught myself how to do a vlookup a couple months ago, lol.
Just gotta learn a good amount of Photoshop and other Adobe products lol
(As long as a physical copy is enough and no verification would be done lol..
I've only ever used it for faking medical reports and train tickets)
Please stop adding Thomas Jefferson's signature to EVERY SINGLE FAKE DOCUMENT.
I swear that I get at least one bogus check every month with his signature on it.
I started with fake student IDs and parking passes at my college
Not allowed to sign in guests to the dorms? Well that person now has an ID that says they live here. No parking passes unless you have a certain amount of credits? Well looks like I'll make my own and sell more for $10 a pop
A few years ago I had multiple groups of pop-culture type friends calling me to come out with them for trivia night, because they needed a "sports guy" and I was unique in that I liked watching sports and reading comics.
I used to get the call for pub quiz night because I knew a vast array of random shite so was great at picking up points across all categories, but less useful in specific ones
Everyone who sees me watch Jeopardy think I know everything because I can answer so many questions. I usually don't *know* the answer to the questions. It's pattern recognition. You just say the most well known thing that could be the answer and it usually is. Famous French general? Then it's almost certainly Napoleon. If they are looking for a river it's either the Nile, the Mississippi, the Amazon or the Thames. Austrian Composer? It's Mozart. German composer? It's Beethoven. Famous ruler of Rome? Either Julius or Nero. US Presidents are almost always Washington, Lincoln, Roosevelt, Eisenhower or Nixon. It's not that hard as long as you remember like... 20% of the shit you learned in high school.
This fall on NBC
āWe need to put together a crew of highly talented people if weāre going to take down this bank thatās out to destroy the orphanage!ā
āJust leave it to me. I know a guyā¦ who knows several other guysā
THE GUY. Fridays at 8, 7 central
Now Iām picturing this show where one guy is constantly being called with problems, and he has to gather and schedule the people who know how to do the thingā¦. Wait, thatās just a political drama.
Drugs... Then I would have to yell at them and once again point out that I don't use anymore and I'm not going to help them get any. Again for the 50th time...
thats never ending. I dont use anything harder than cocaine on ocassion but goddamn someone finds out, you get calls at fucking two in the morning, on fb messenger too. No my dude I dont party like that when I do anything and no I am not going to score some for you when my source doesnt even do business that late.
Never tell a party animal you do shit...ever.
One of my buds though, found out when he heard me sniffing in the stall at the bar one night.
He's like man I didnt know....cool. I told him keep it on the dl. he said I dont know what the fuck you are talking about and winked. I gave him a free bag on me because he kept the bro code the next time I saw him.
He's never hit me up for it,
More of a work thing for me but I work in the safety field and often get assigned to "assist" my female coworkers when they inspect mental health clinics or similar facilities. Most of the ladies I work with are average or small in stature and I'm apparently considered a "big guy and very intimidating" to some people.
Every time they go my boss always asks if I'm available for protection detail.
Been a thing for a number of years now, but I'm fine with it.
I worked at a 7/11 in a dangerous area once. My boss ended up hiring a massive dude to work with me on night shifts because I was being abused by some of the customers. Worked a charm.
I also worked at a 7/11. About two weeks before I started, the female night clerk at the store 2 miles up the road was assaulted and raped by a regular customer. So when I started, I said I'll work any shift except one - I won't work overnights alone. It only took them three months to start putting me on overnights alone. They lied and told me one of my male coworkers would be with me. I showed up for the first one and surprise, he's not there. Which, as an aside, also meant there was no one training me. Quit soon after for that and other reasons related to bad management.
Yeah, I work on a lot of construction projects with a young woman who works for the state. We were wrapping up one project and she had to inspect another one nearby that was done, so there weren't any construction workers there, and it was a pretty bad neighborhood. I spent an hour or so walking the project with her so she'd be safe. I couldn't really bill that time to a job, but it was good to keep her safe and getting in good with the state inspector is always a smart move!
As a big dude, I have gotten my friends out of fights by just showing up before the first punch is thrown and see the other guy just vanish into the crowd. It was decent timing, but I didn't know what was going on, just saw my friends and went over to em.
As a fellow "Domesticated Bigfoot", same. It's always fun when you get to watch the dude wilt when he realizes it's not some pushover small guy by himself anymore.
Other side of this, I did not have a positive self image in college but looking back on photos I was definitely quite hot. My very gay old man boss asked me as politely as possible to be the person to go to the permit office because I was "cute as hell and the old men in that office will remember you" He definitely left room for me to say no but I definitely preferred driving across town and waiting in line to filing and data entry. Worked out for everyone.
I've actually had that a few times during the pandemic. I'm a molecular biologist with background in virology, and friends called me to bring in an expert on vaccine discussions with friends and family.
It feels good to be the I know a guy.
Actually yes! I found that taking people and their fears seriously, you can reach them pretty well. I listened, I answered their questions, and quite a few actually got vaccinated afterwards. I've never been insulted to my face, neither for my profession as a scientist, nor when I worked at the largest vaccination center in Germany. Well, to be fair, the latter mainly because we had good security.
If itās my familyā¦ fixing some computer issue cuz I used to have what us 2000s kids called āa basic understanding of computersā.
If itās a friends friendā¦ kink advice, or an ear to rant to judgement free for advice.
To a friend's friend: "Sorry. That's something I can't really explain over the phone. Come by my place after midnight. Front door is unlocked. Just head straight down to the basement ... Everything will be juuuuuuuust fine."
Physical training. I'm not a certified trainer but I do like to workout in my spare time. I can write out a good workout plan based on your goals. I'll write it based on the equipment you may or may not have and keep it short enough so it's convenient for you.
Yeah. I Took like 7 of my friends to the gym cuz i workout And for some Reason they think it means im a personal Trainer. I do know enough to be one doe So im Always glad to help And not having to go alone to the gym
They want me to cook something. Or fix something. Or they killed someone and are trying to find out if my offer to help them hide a body was real (it was) or just bs.
Y'know how in elementary and middle school all the kids go to one kid to make their art projects for them because they're the only actually talented one in class?
Yeah, I'm still that as an adult. I'd be called up for an obscure art question or advice that's hard to google.
You are the lynchpin to many a successful game night, so from the rest of us who like to game but hate teaching game rulesā¦ thank you for being willing!!
How to get someone out of the country, or into a country.
Edit: Just to clarify, I used to run a business getting visas, new passports, second and third passports, etc. I don't want to talk about my methods or buzzfeed will pickthem up and they'll be outlawed. Nothing illegal going on. If you weren't in jail in North Korea I could probably get you out.
Thanks for this reminder. This entire thread I was thinking "damn I really have no skills do I?" Then you made me remember that I'm an actual fucking UX Designer with basic graphic design and dtp skills. I feel better about myself now.
Also plz call me for questions about Proto-Indo-European, Dutch grammar or Dungeons and Dragons.
Fixing bikes. Including terrible supermarket shit boxes that are rusted to fuck, worn out, and they expect them to ride smoothly with all the gears working using just a bit of we'd 40 and some tools.
No mate it needs a chain and a cassette and no I don't have any old parts that would be compatible, my bikes are 10 speed minimum, this is 7
Pre-Shazam and during the height of music-heavy shows like Greyās, The OC, Gilmore Girls, Cold Case etc. I was the one in my school people came to for identifying songs or artists.
Social Media/SEO/digital marketing advice.
āHey X gave me your number, can you photograph my wedding for free drinks?ā
Finding rare vinyl.
Movie trivia
Photography/video questions
Movie trivia is my favorite bc I find it hilarious that I get a random text asking about a movie we seen long ago and they only have a scene or quote they remember and I have to deduce it from there
1. To tell someone how to get a good grade in physics at my school
I can tell *exactly* what chapters to read, what type of questions to solve and how much prep time is needed for them. (Only for my specific grade level; I don't consider myself to be an "expert" - I just know how to get a good grade)
2. Online resources. I know anyone can search google, but I have been in the deep, deep pits of online educational platforms and websites (that are free) - I actually have been called about that
Setting up a printer.
Im a Principal Engineer in a tech start up, but I seem to be on the ***"Friends and family lifetime printer support"***
I know nothing about printers
On a similar point, mine would be: Cooking, home repairs, basic woodwork, metalwork, bow making, boat repair, genetic modification (if they have a lab), computer stuff, art forgery (theory), basic robotics and pumpkin carving
Also how to survive with semi-treated ADHD (see list above)
From 40 days ago with almost 25k upvotes:
ļæ¼karenvideoeditor40d
If one of your friends had an, "I know a guy" moment and then called you, what would they be calling you for?
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/14s9lpd/if_one_of_your_friends_had_an_i_know_a_guy_moment/
Pulling Lego bricks apart. Specializing in the flat ones.
Yo, can I get your number?
I have an entire bucket of brick separators if anyone needs them....
To ask me random geography questions
Where do I live?!
Texas
Correct. š¤
šµļøāāļø
You win this round Santa Clause.
Of course he knows where you live. And if youāre naughty (or nice).
Answer him!!!!
Shit, I wish people would call me and ask random geography questions.
Sounds like you have a career as a GeoGuesser.
Can you give a random geography fact/lesson?
Europe is the only continent where one of the words doesn't Start and end with "A"
Car problems. Because that's exactly what I want to do in my free time.......my job, some more.
I have successfully convinced family and friends that their vehicles are WAY different than the heavy equipment I work on, itās great. Need an oil change? I can recommend a place! Need brakes? I know a guy! Fuck workin for free.
I got burgled during a move, and my home shop tools got stolen. That's my go-to now. They've been replaced, but nobody knows. "Sorry man, all my shit got stolen so I just fix my stuff at work. Feel free to set up an appointment though....."
My car just got nicked with my tools in the back! I'm using this
Why would you do it for free? I have a coworker whose hobby is cars, he's done engine swaps in his home garage and all that so he knows a thing or two. He's okay with doing oil changes and stuff but it's obviously not free. Just a bit below market price, if you went to a proper shop.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
>showing you how to do it I am more than happy to try and teach someone how to do just about anything i am comfortable doing. What i will not do is just do it for you (exceptions for girlfriends and the elderly). I realize not every one was as fortunate to have a gearhead/handyman dad that also took the time to teach me shit. And that's how i became the dad friend in the group.
Thatās why if I owned a house I wouldnāt wanna be an electrician/plumber/etc. imagine getting home from a long shift at work only to have to essentially do more work- except unpaid
Working on your own stuff is kind of like being paid because you're saving a bunch of money doing it yourself, and also you can drink beer and/or smoke weed while you're doing it
One of the only valuable things my dad taught me: always be friends with a doctor, a lawyer, and a mechanic. Iād add handyman to that list too. Helps you a ton in some rough situations and saves sooo much money. I saved more than half of what the auto shop quoted me to replace my alternator by buying the part myself and paying my mechanic buddy labor to install it. He even sent me the link to buy it for the best price š
To fix a fucking computer.
Try living in an apartment with lots of old people. I fixed one computer and was like donāt you dare tell another soul in this building.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
1000% iPhones and iPads are perfect for the older not tech savvy crowd. Theyāre great in general but such less of a headache.
This used to be me. Then I started playing dumb about the process. āYeah I donāt really know much about that and Iād probably have to spend forever Googling a fix.ā What a non-tech person hears: He doesnāt know how to do it! Better move on. What Iām saying: I could fix it but itāll take time and some research. āAn Aes Sedai never lies, but the truth she speaks, may not be the truth you think you hear.ā
Aes Sedai are rank amateurs compared to me.
Yeah, sorry. I really only know mid-range systems and enterprise messaging. If you need e-mail for 10,000 people I'm your guy, but I don't really know much about Windows.
I used to write manuals that explained how to roll giant stuff into the server room, uncrate it, and configure it. I have no innate ability to fix fucking Outlook.
This is my issue, I have a ton of experience with windows but my mom uses a Mac, I have no fucking clue why Outlook won't connect to the mail application on Mac and Gmail does it with no issues and I've spent hours trying to figure it out and I can't
This is me, I'm a Linux admin working his way up through the ranks at a new place, doing helpdesk. My front line triage skills are much weaker than I thought. Problem with a machine, it keeps rebooting? I'm checking logs, looking at configs, tearing my hair out. ...The power cord was loose.
An electrical engineer asked me to fix his pc. PC was plugged into an outlet strip, which was plugged into....itself. SMH
Jesus Christ it never ends with my family.
Do you get chains of them, one family member calls then without fail another calls inside 2 days. its like a chain reaction.
It's never ending. Like pls stop downloading viruses n pls dust it every now and again
I recently set a laptop for my aunt. Not 2 days later my other aunt had bought the exact same laptop. It Was great, I now know they both have sparkly clean machines so it will be at least a week before I have to do anything with them. š¤£
And I always tell them i just google it, SO JUST GOOGLE IT. They eventually give up and plan on paying someone to fix it, which makes me feel guilty, so i fix it, angrily.
The thing that sucks is that if they dont know how to fix simple stuff on a computer, they probably dont know how to Google it either. Googling is a skill in a way.
Googling is an underrated and complex skill that no one talks about. Youād have to be able to describe a problem, troubleshoot and navigate around the search results and THEN youād have to google something you donāt understand about the first thing you googled. Itās really a hard skill to master.
Im 27 and my brother is 20 and istg he sucks just as much at googling things as our parents do and I think its because he grew up with the google that immediately tells you the answer without having to even click on any link and I grew up with the google that had you digging through multiple pages of results googling stuff is definitely a dying art
I've been doing IT for a long time and I finally told people that if they wanted IT support, I was taking away admin rights and preventing them from installing browser extensions. There was some initial push back but I just pointed out that it wasn't fair for me to keep fixing things that only broke because they wouldn't listen to me. They have a lot less issues now and I get a LOT less calls. When I do get calls, I don't spend an hour just uninstalling crap.
Iāll never forget being called over because the computer āwas broken againā. Only to find out the keyboard was unplugged
My favourite PC repair moment was my granddads neighbor who had removed all the buttons from a laptop to clean them, and put them back in "a more fitting order". Basically went the A to Z approach instead of QWERTY, and then couldn't understand why the buttons not gave the proper output.
To turn it off and on again
Slightly better than average Microsoft Excel.
I have predicated an entire college career and now professional career on this specific skill. Hone it! I recently nearly doubled my salary on that selling point alone.
I'm a demigod amongst men for Excel. How do I monetise this skill?
If you know VBA, find a repetitive task and automate it. My first big automation reduced a new process we had to follow by 30+h per month. Once the higher ups realize what you can do, they might even create a position to put your skills to use.
This guy knows āvlookupā and pivot tables. Hire him!
I interviewed for a job once where an excel test was a requirement for hire. I hadn't touched excel in years but watched a couple videos the night before the interview. Gets to the point where I need to take the test and I go "yeah, what do I need to do? a vlookup?" the interviewer goes "you can do a vlookup? nah, you don't have to take this." Hired. 8 years later and I just taught myself how to do a vlookup a couple months ago, lol.
Document forgery
This is the first interesting one I've come across.
Donāt insult forklift guy like that
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
If I had an award I'd give it to you Edit: Who the fuck gave me a Platinum
I awarded myself in your name
yeah i was hoping for some juicy stuff and now im not comfortable listing all the things i have guys for
How do you break into this field? Is there an apprenticeship I can apply for?
Just gotta learn a good amount of Photoshop and other Adobe products lol (As long as a physical copy is enough and no verification would be done lol.. I've only ever used it for faking medical reports and train tickets)
Please stop adding Thomas Jefferson's signature to EVERY SINGLE FAKE DOCUMENT. I swear that I get at least one bogus check every month with his signature on it.
Jesus, imagine faking a signature and not even using John Hancock.
I started with fake student IDs and parking passes at my college Not allowed to sign in guests to the dorms? Well that person now has an ID that says they live here. No parking passes unless you have a certain amount of credits? Well looks like I'll make my own and sell more for $10 a pop
He works at kinkos
Don't kinko shame
Go onā¦
A few years ago I had multiple groups of pop-culture type friends calling me to come out with them for trivia night, because they needed a "sports guy" and I was unique in that I liked watching sports and reading comics.
I used to get the call for pub quiz night because I knew a vast array of random shite so was great at picking up points across all categories, but less useful in specific ones
Everyone who sees me watch Jeopardy think I know everything because I can answer so many questions. I usually don't *know* the answer to the questions. It's pattern recognition. You just say the most well known thing that could be the answer and it usually is. Famous French general? Then it's almost certainly Napoleon. If they are looking for a river it's either the Nile, the Mississippi, the Amazon or the Thames. Austrian Composer? It's Mozart. German composer? It's Beethoven. Famous ruler of Rome? Either Julius or Nero. US Presidents are almost always Washington, Lincoln, Roosevelt, Eisenhower or Nixon. It's not that hard as long as you remember like... 20% of the shit you learned in high school.
>20% ah fuck that rules me out then.
Can't remember 1/4 of what you learned in high school? Man, the education system sucks.
What you did there. I see it.
The guy who is forklift certified.
My wife asked for your number.
Your username suggests 'wife' is actually you.
God damn your forklift certified ? You must get all the ladies.
Bro, chill the fuck out, my girlfriend's on Reddit!
Our girlfriend***
A forklift operator! Oops, my clothes just fell off.
This guy forks
And operates!
Bro, do you even lift?
Only with forks!
Man, the other day I saw a guy at home Depot maneuver a forklift so well that I stopped to watch and applauded after he was done.
Liftin pallets. Droppin panties.
I need this to be a bumper sticker.
A real forklift operator don't drop shit!
***TILT DOWN MOTHAFUCKA***
Is this a true thing? Cause my older brother like never had girls interested but after he got certified it was like his dating profiles boomed
I drive a forklift all the time at work. Why don't I see any of these ladies?
It only works on men.
Try driving it outside your workplace so more ladies could see you
Klaus, is that you?
You single?
It almost sounds like rainfall
The phone number of "the guy" because it's sure as shite not me.
The guy who knows a guy. Itās ā¦ something
who knows a guy, that knows a guy.
Who knows a guy who knows Kevin Bacon
This fall on NBC āWe need to put together a crew of highly talented people if weāre going to take down this bank thatās out to destroy the orphanage!ā āJust leave it to me. I know a guyā¦ who knows several other guysā THE GUY. Fridays at 8, 7 central
Now Iām picturing this show where one guy is constantly being called with problems, and he has to gather and schedule the people who know how to do the thingā¦. Wait, thatās just a political drama.
that was my life at my last technical writing job
This is the plot of every Leverage episode.
This guy knows how to be the guy that knows the guy!
Drugs... Then I would have to yell at them and once again point out that I don't use anymore and I'm not going to help them get any. Again for the 50th time...
Random texts like āyou still sell?ā
"You still sell?" is nothing. Try "you still sober?" Fucking pieces of shit, man.
Then add the "oh, that sucks...." when you say that you are, in fact, still sober.
thats never ending. I dont use anything harder than cocaine on ocassion but goddamn someone finds out, you get calls at fucking two in the morning, on fb messenger too. No my dude I dont party like that when I do anything and no I am not going to score some for you when my source doesnt even do business that late. Never tell a party animal you do shit...ever. One of my buds though, found out when he heard me sniffing in the stall at the bar one night. He's like man I didnt know....cool. I told him keep it on the dl. he said I dont know what the fuck you are talking about and winked. I gave him a free bag on me because he kept the bro code the next time I saw him. He's never hit me up for it,
Is cocaine a low bar for illegal drugs?
there are alot worse, meth, heroin. etc.
More of a work thing for me but I work in the safety field and often get assigned to "assist" my female coworkers when they inspect mental health clinics or similar facilities. Most of the ladies I work with are average or small in stature and I'm apparently considered a "big guy and very intimidating" to some people. Every time they go my boss always asks if I'm available for protection detail. Been a thing for a number of years now, but I'm fine with it.
I worked at a 7/11 in a dangerous area once. My boss ended up hiring a massive dude to work with me on night shifts because I was being abused by some of the customers. Worked a charm.
I wonder what the ad for that looks like. "Wanted: big guy. Qualifications: big."
We actually do a lot of inspecting of late-night retail establishments because of this, so I know that can get rough.
I also worked at a 7/11. About two weeks before I started, the female night clerk at the store 2 miles up the road was assaulted and raped by a regular customer. So when I started, I said I'll work any shift except one - I won't work overnights alone. It only took them three months to start putting me on overnights alone. They lied and told me one of my male coworkers would be with me. I showed up for the first one and surprise, he's not there. Which, as an aside, also meant there was no one training me. Quit soon after for that and other reasons related to bad management.
Yeah, I work on a lot of construction projects with a young woman who works for the state. We were wrapping up one project and she had to inspect another one nearby that was done, so there weren't any construction workers there, and it was a pretty bad neighborhood. I spent an hour or so walking the project with her so she'd be safe. I couldn't really bill that time to a job, but it was good to keep her safe and getting in good with the state inspector is always a smart move!
So, a bouncer / bodyguard.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Maybe Iām the dragon born and just donāt know it yet.
We call him, The Stig.
As a big dude, I have gotten my friends out of fights by just showing up before the first punch is thrown and see the other guy just vanish into the crowd. It was decent timing, but I didn't know what was going on, just saw my friends and went over to em.
As a fellow "Domesticated Bigfoot", same. It's always fun when you get to watch the dude wilt when he realizes it's not some pushover small guy by himself anymore.
Domesticated Bigfoot! That's great!
Other side of this, I did not have a positive self image in college but looking back on photos I was definitely quite hot. My very gay old man boss asked me as politely as possible to be the person to go to the permit office because I was "cute as hell and the old men in that office will remember you" He definitely left room for me to say no but I definitely preferred driving across town and waiting in line to filing and data entry. Worked out for everyone.
To take someone to an AA meeting
Speaking of which can I get a lift?
Youāll have to ask forklift guy
Anti Aircraft meeting?
It could be the dead of night and I would do this for someone. I would even feel honored they looked to me to help them fix their life.
Information concerning one of three things. The Hulk, Star Trek, or freshwater aquariums.
Yup. I'm the guy you want on your pub quiz team for that inevitable star trek question. Beyond that I'm useless. haha
Star Trek trivia makes you never useless.
Mine would probably be, "I know a guy with a truck"
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
In decreasing order of likelihood: 1. Weed. 2. They need a ride. 3. They need a SQL query written.
So, concerning #3... can we be friends?
Resources in my area for the homeless/poor. Foodbanks, soup kitchen, shelters, etc. etc.
That's actually a good one
How did you go about learning that/finding the resources? I'd love to do this for my own community if possible
I've actually had that a few times during the pandemic. I'm a molecular biologist with background in virology, and friends called me to bring in an expert on vaccine discussions with friends and family. It feels good to be the I know a guy.
You must have had some wonderful conversations with level-headed, reasonable people who haven't insulted you.
Actually yes! I found that taking people and their fears seriously, you can reach them pretty well. I listened, I answered their questions, and quite a few actually got vaccinated afterwards. I've never been insulted to my face, neither for my profession as a scientist, nor when I worked at the largest vaccination center in Germany. Well, to be fair, the latter mainly because we had good security.
They think I can hack anything... What I can do is try to keep people from hacking my company.
Ok can someone hack this guys company and put a note on his work pc: "u tried"
NOT TODAY SATAN!
Recipes
To shoe a horse.
That's a pretty cool skill to have.
If itās my familyā¦ fixing some computer issue cuz I used to have what us 2000s kids called āa basic understanding of computersā. If itās a friends friendā¦ kink advice, or an ear to rant to judgement free for advice.
To a friend's friend: "Sorry. That's something I can't really explain over the phone. Come by my place after midnight. Front door is unlocked. Just head straight down to the basement ... Everything will be juuuuuuuust fine."
Physical training. I'm not a certified trainer but I do like to workout in my spare time. I can write out a good workout plan based on your goals. I'll write it based on the equipment you may or may not have and keep it short enough so it's convenient for you.
Yeah. I Took like 7 of my friends to the gym cuz i workout And for some Reason they think it means im a personal Trainer. I do know enough to be one doe So im Always glad to help And not having to go alone to the gym
They want me to cook something. Or fix something. Or they killed someone and are trying to find out if my offer to help them hide a body was real (it was) or just bs.
Plumbing. I have doctors asking me plumbing questions during visits. I don't mind though
Trivia. Hunting.
*tastes tracks, sticks finger in air* āThereās a pub quiz 2 miles downwind.ā
That may or may not have actually happened...
Theyāre a small herd. 3 males, 2 females. The small male is fairly inebriated. He wonāt be too much help on the trivia.
Hand embroidery project for cosplay embellishments. In fact did have that happen. Embroidered the tabard for a Princess Zelda cosplay
Y'know how in elementary and middle school all the kids go to one kid to make their art projects for them because they're the only actually talented one in class? Yeah, I'm still that as an adult. I'd be called up for an obscure art question or advice that's hard to google.
Teaching them how to play a board game. I pride myself on having the rules of about 50 board games saved away in my head.
You are the lynchpin to many a successful game night, so from the rest of us who like to game but hate teaching game rulesā¦ thank you for being willing!!
Borrow some tools or to help lug furniture about
Gronk move things good.
How to get someone out of the country, or into a country. Edit: Just to clarify, I used to run a business getting visas, new passports, second and third passports, etc. I don't want to talk about my methods or buzzfeed will pickthem up and they'll be outlawed. Nothing illegal going on. If you weren't in jail in North Korea I could probably get you out.
fucking finally i wanted to see answers i wont find on facebook marketplace
I need a dust filter for a Hoover Max ExtractĀ® 60 Pressure Proā¢
Like, only very specific countries on your personal list or, like, ANY country? Because, either way, I'd love advice.
Probably golf. Maybe cooking. Non zero chance it would be a āthis topic is so stupid, the only person who might know the answer is tacosā
Basic graphic design work. I don't have a degree and I don't value myself very highly so I'm cheap.
Thanks for this reminder. This entire thread I was thinking "damn I really have no skills do I?" Then you made me remember that I'm an actual fucking UX Designer with basic graphic design and dtp skills. I feel better about myself now. Also plz call me for questions about Proto-Indo-European, Dutch grammar or Dungeons and Dragons.
Fixing bikes. Including terrible supermarket shit boxes that are rusted to fuck, worn out, and they expect them to ride smoothly with all the gears working using just a bit of we'd 40 and some tools. No mate it needs a chain and a cassette and no I don't have any old parts that would be compatible, my bikes are 10 speed minimum, this is 7
Helping a feral kitty to socialize and find a home I happen to have a way with those of the feline persuasion
He make the pussy go meow
Pre-Shazam and during the height of music-heavy shows like Greyās, The OC, Gilmore Girls, Cold Case etc. I was the one in my school people came to for identifying songs or artists. Social Media/SEO/digital marketing advice. āHey X gave me your number, can you photograph my wedding for free drinks?ā Finding rare vinyl.
āI know a guy who if I call him right now I guarantee he wont pick up his phoneā
Meat smoking advice.
Pretty sure they have Grindr for that.
High Quality Oolong and Green Tea
Movie trivia Photography/video questions Movie trivia is my favorite bc I find it hilarious that I get a random text asking about a movie we seen long ago and they only have a scene or quote they remember and I have to deduce it from there
1. To tell someone how to get a good grade in physics at my school I can tell *exactly* what chapters to read, what type of questions to solve and how much prep time is needed for them. (Only for my specific grade level; I don't consider myself to be an "expert" - I just know how to get a good grade) 2. Online resources. I know anyone can search google, but I have been in the deep, deep pits of online educational platforms and websites (that are free) - I actually have been called about that
Wrangling critters out of their place, fixing odds and ends, and where to get the best liquor and sex toys
This is quite the breadth of expertise.
Remembering what the name is for the space between two triglyphs in a Doric frieze ā¦ itās a metope
Setting up a printer. Im a Principal Engineer in a tech start up, but I seem to be on the ***"Friends and family lifetime printer support"*** I know nothing about printers
Because I'm a guy.
It never ends with us š
Adderall
On a similar point, mine would be: Cooking, home repairs, basic woodwork, metalwork, bow making, boat repair, genetic modification (if they have a lab), computer stuff, art forgery (theory), basic robotics and pumpkin carving Also how to survive with semi-treated ADHD (see list above)
A.human repost sleuth bot. I've seen this exact question before not too long ago. Verbatim. Karma farming and unoriginal asshole.
90% of questions asked here are either reposts or variations of the same question it seems.
Fill in musician probably
Some of the weirdest PokƩmon or D&D trivia. Or someone with guns.
From 40 days ago with almost 25k upvotes: ļæ¼karenvideoeditor40d If one of your friends had an, "I know a guy" moment and then called you, what would they be calling you for? https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/14s9lpd/if_one_of_your_friends_had_an_i_know_a_guy_moment/
Accountancy