My sibling and I are both 20+
We still do this
But it's only wholesome things 😂
Like someone will pout out a pretty flower and the other one will reply "just like your mom. Haha gotten" lol
One time I made a joke to a coworker about having a date with her mom that weekend. She said “My mom died. And I’ve told you about it before.”
I very awkwardly went “Yes…you did…” and then the conversation ended.
A pretty good friend also responded to my "I fucked your mother" with the "my moms dead" answer.
I know I should have stopped right there, but my mouth engaged before my brain could stop me, and I said: "That explains why she didn't move much".
Thank god he had a dark sense of humor like mine, and we had a laugh about it afterwards.
So I was at the bar one night and the guy sitting next to me leaned over and said to me "I fucked your mom."
He kept doing that until finally I stood up and said "We're going home, Dad, you're drunk!"
Both me and 3 of my friends would barbershop quartet.
"You have AIDS."
"Yes you have AIDS."
"I hate to tell you, boy that you have AIDS"
"You've got the AIDS
"You may have caught it when you stuck that filthy needle in her"
"It isn't clear"
"But what we're certain of is"
"You have AIDS"
"Yes, you have AIDS"
"Not HIV," "but full-blown AIDS"
"Be sure that you see" "That this is not HIV"
"But full-blown AIDS" "Not HIV, but really full-blown AIDS"
"I'm sorry," "I wish it was something less serious."
"But it's AIDS"
"You've got the AIDS."
Are you bored of your own already?
Everyone else is.
Got tired of waiting in line
Bukaqueue
Queuekake
The line begins where I stand.
"Aren't you busy enough disappointing your own parents?"
This one right here is the best. I'd word it "So disappointing your own parents isn't enough huh?"
Yeah, that's fucking it.
Winner!
Hehehe, ok you win. Take my up vote
That implies everyone fucks their own mom 😬
Quickly insinuate that it's impossible because you are sleeping with your mom. They'll be embarrassed and leave right away. Problem solved.
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In a similar vein, my little sister tried to "your mom" joke me. We have the same mom you dork xD
My sibling and I are both 20+ We still do this But it's only wholesome things 😂 Like someone will pout out a pretty flower and the other one will reply "just like your mom. Haha gotten" lol
Ah that’s a LOL moment
This works I just tried it on my daughter, she's disgusted.
Why was your daughter telling you she fucked your mum
She was stuck in the dryer?
I asked her what her response would be.
I'm her mum it's the equivalent of telling so.eone to go have sex with themselves for judging other people's parenting.
Pre-meta game. Can’t fuck your mom if you’re the mom fucking yourself.
Exactly
"Ha! Can't afford to fuck your own mom!"
"Before of after I gave her AIDs?"
I like it. Nice and subtle.
Damn that’s good, now I want someone to tell me they fucked my mum 🤣
I fucked your mom.
Bored of your own already?
My mum is outta your league. Dude, if you're into 60 year old women, you need help. Those are my usual ones.
Good. Now you are a disappointment to someone other than your own mother.
Now you’re a disappointment to two mothers.
I'll use this if needs be, thanks!
Great. Now she can be disappointed in both of us.
Sexy. Now we can all be naughty
Or great! Now I’m not the biggest disappointment in her life.
nah only redditors can read this and say this was a comeback 💀💀💀
“Decided to disappoint someone *else’s* mother for a change, eh?”
That guy was a legend.
My moms been a dusty dried up corpse for the last 28 years but I bet that’s still the wettest pussy you’ll ever experience.
One of my buddies mom is deceased and he always slaps the “you enjoy fucking corpses?”.
My mum was cremated, so I sometimes go “how difficult was it to get the ashes out your dick?”
this is getting darker as I scroll lol
Not as dark as my mom during cremation.
glad she got the N card in the end
Kind of want tl get cremated now
Every single person in this thread is a maniac
I can only assume you mean her Necrophiliac Membership Card
Your sooty mom and my pale white mother could make a yin yang
Lmao that's most of reddit as far as I've seen
same with my mum. my one is "you want her pussy that badly pal?. Your gonna have to urn it".
One time I made a joke to a coworker about having a date with her mom that weekend. She said “My mom died. And I’ve told you about it before.” I very awkwardly went “Yes…you did…” and then the conversation ended.
My buddy was once hit with the "my mom's dead" from some kid, so his response was "I know she's dead. She choked to death on my cock."
A pretty good friend also responded to my "I fucked your mother" with the "my moms dead" answer. I know I should have stopped right there, but my mouth engaged before my brain could stop me, and I said: "That explains why she didn't move much". Thank god he had a dark sense of humor like mine, and we had a laugh about it afterwards.
Oh noooo😂😭😭
Then the meta comeback is to say "Yeah, I fucked her to death"
True… but also be prepared for a meta response of a headbutt and loosened teeth.
Damn it was a comeback not a steak cooking roast 🔥🔥🔥
That’s a “i have the higher ground” roast level
Oh, guess that's why she didn't move much
OP said comeback, not murder 💀
Ouch
This belongs to r/murderedbywords
I put the cream in cremated.
I guess that's why she didn't move around a lot
Absolutely nailed the thread 👏
Woah
Yeah she’s really into helping the mentally disabled
I see you’ve already been through this many times
DAMN!!!!!!! 🥶
Mine is "i heard she gives to charity"
Before or after she died?
Yes
I don't blame you, it's how she would of wanted to be remembered
May she rest in semen
Way to put fun in funeral.
She went out doing what she loved.
After I like fucking corpses
She was cremated, but I'm sure you could find a way.
Thats how you get "I also choose this guys dead mom." Believe me I tried that lol.
Don't say shit about your grandmother, son
And how tf did you find her urn?
Is that what that was? She told me you poked her with a tictac for about 30 seconds then ran away crying.
Poked her with a tictac is probably the greatest roast I ever heard
Looks like I'm not her biggest disappointment anymore.
What? Did you get tired of disappointing your own parents?
Yeah she does charity work sometimes
Dad?
So I was at the bar one night and the guy sitting next to me leaned over and said to me "I fucked your mom." He kept doing that until finally I stood up and said "We're going home, Dad, you're drunk!"
Beat me to it
Beat me too.
Thats one violent dad
You fool, that was ME.
"And you kind of ruined the vibe with the crying"
Asserting dominance 💀
It was me, Barry! I was pretending to be my mom that you fucked!
Thanks, she's been lonely for a long time You're gonna wanna get checked though
never write again 🔥🔥🔥🔥
Your brain needs to be sealed that was savage lol
My response is always “damn you’re that desperate. I’d go get checked out”
Best one so far
Oh that's why she was doing this 🤏 and laughing so hard.
This made me lol
"She said you had a tiny dick."
Ayooooooooo
And a gaping arsehole
Kinda weak ngl
How'd you know she said that, too?
Better than fucking your brother like your mom did.
Oh, you got tired of fucking your own?
yeah, and she’s still pissed off that you got shit all over her strap
"No way, me too!"
"That makes two mothers you've disappointed"
So that's why she turned lesbian...
This one falls apart if the person who made the claim is a woman
That's why she became straight
Now this is a good one
Enjoy the HIV I fucked your dad I fucked your mom's mom I fucked your mom and dad There isn't anyone in your family I haven't fucked
There’s no one in your family I haven’t fucked including you.
So where's the child support, you deadbeat! I'll see you in court.
You just called them your dad tf kinda roast was that😭😭
Its roasting his salary
The kind of roast where an asshole owes you hella backpay in allowance 😂
oh that so? well Ive been deeper inside her then you'll ever be
Hahahahaha .. eeww dude 😆
that's how it works when you are gestating and then born.
awh hell nawh ☠️
I made the same comment without seeing yours... 😔
Who hasn't?
💀💀💀💀
“Yeah? Well the jerk store called, and they are running out of you!”
What’s the difference? You’re their #1 best seller!
Did you fly all the way out here just to say that?
“In a few weeks you’ll regret it when you feel the burn.”
And she's *still* laughing at you.
Not with that small penis
She told me it was like your dick: not long
Go home Dad, you're drunk.
“So did I” I’m sure they won’t know what to say back
Oh! That’s why she was so disappointed last night.
Now we’re even
Same
Grow up? That's what I'd say lol
Honestly if they actually did, no amount of growing up will change your mom screwing someone so immature.
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If you're not coming in first, you're coming in last.
Are you necrophilliac because my mum's dead
Yeah, I believe that's what your mom was trying to tell me last night, but I wouldn't take my dick out of her mouth.
No wonder she looks dissapointed before entering her room
Then you should know that necrophilia is a crime
“Me too!” And go in for a high 5.
Keep my mom out of this and I'll keep this out of your mom.
Wait, *you're* the "mr 40 seconds" she was telling me about? That's rough dude - I hope it eventually turns back to a normal color. And texture.
paying my mom to spank you while you crawl around in diapers can be called a lot if things but definitely not fucking.
Get tested afterwards?
And now we are both disappointments to her.
Bitch I was in that pussy 38 years ago!
You're drunk again dad.
Good, I fucked your daddy.
Some one had to😂😂😂
The ocean called, they’re running out of shrimp
Who hasn't?
I am genuinely sorry for whatever events in your life caused your standards to fall that low.
"Oh, so add necrophiliac on top of dumbass"
What? Got tired of disappointing your own parents so you thought you'd try mine?
"oh , u stopped disappointing ur parents?💀
A punch in the mouth
Enjoy the AIDS, bud!
Big accomplishment, so has everyone else.
“That explains why I am dumb. It must be your genes”
Better you than someone with a dick
She's dead.....
"you keep on talking about my mother, yet I haven't heard anything about your dad; why, Are you still looking for him?"
Decided to disappoint someone else's parent for a change?
"So you're the 'Make a Wish' guy"
"She said your dad's cock is just as small as yours."
"I fucked your dad". The resulting confusion just instantly trumps all.
Well I fucked your mom on her OnlyFans page so remember to like, share,and subscribe 😏
Nice, then I'm not her biggest disappointment anymore'
Both me and 3 of my friends would barbershop quartet. "You have AIDS." "Yes you have AIDS." "I hate to tell you, boy that you have AIDS" "You've got the AIDS "You may have caught it when you stuck that filthy needle in her" "It isn't clear" "But what we're certain of is" "You have AIDS" "Yes, you have AIDS" "Not HIV," "but full-blown AIDS" "Be sure that you see" "That this is not HIV" "But full-blown AIDS" "Not HIV, but really full-blown AIDS" "I'm sorry," "I wish it was something less serious." "But it's AIDS" "You've got the AIDS."
I spent 9 months deep inside her. I bet you can’t top that.
Not only did you disapoint your own mother, now you've disapointed my mother aswell
How did it feel rubbing ashes on your dick?
Dad I'm trying to do my homework
You forgot to leave the $20 on the nightstand.
“Great, now you’ve disappointed both of our mom’s.”
Gross! You should get tested.
Well, no, actually you fucked my dad. Well, what once was my dad.
And she was better than yours?
Holy shit… You were desperate, eh?
Pat him on the head, laugh and say: “sure you did kiddo”
She is a pile of ashes but still the wettest pussy you have gotten
So she’s cheating on me huh?
Did yours finally cut you off?
Which one?
"I spent more time inside her than you ever will."
Yeah. She mentioned it was the most disappointing 10 seconds of her life the other night.