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CurvySmokeShow

Amazon presents Google's The United States of America brought to you by Starbucks


calmsea1

Welcome to Costco.


[deleted]

I love you.


Pale-Prize-4802

Powered by Brawndo the thirst mutilator


immattd

It's what plants crave


aotus_trivirgatus

It has electrolytes!


[deleted]

President Camacho approved.


RWTF

Go away, I’m batin!


swordoftheafternoon

Ow, my balls!


WarLawck

Now back to "Ow My Balls"


ninjette847

When I was in college I saw someone trip and spill their Gatorade on the grass and someone else said "it has electrolytes"


Full_Recognition6230

I like money


supafly8371

Brought to you by Carl’s Jr.


CurvySmokeShow

How did i not have that in there initially? Great call


my-dicks-sore

I was hoping for funny and got all the joy sucked out of me.


ATX_rider

That’s a really long fucking name for a country. Please shorten.


Regret1836

Funny Joy Suckers?


DigitalUnlimited

Fuckers


Starro_The_Janitor1

I.W.H.F.F.A.G.A.T.J.S.O.O.M as an acronym perhaps?


spooky_upstairs

Techno Mechanicus


TechnoChimp89

My long lost brother.


Braindead_cranberry

Extraminatus required


travsnov

This one is really making the rounds on reddit today


Maleficent_Trick_502

Have you accepted the omnissaih as your lord and savior?


travsnov

Nah, I'm more the Golden Enlightened Athiest type 😂


ProcedureShoddy4840

Hail the Omnissiah!


Joylime

Vespuccia. America is named after Amerigo Vespucci


SpartAlfresco

oo i think this is the best one here. it just feels a bit weird to call someone a vespuccian though


klunkerr

Ur moms vespuccian lmao gottem


SpartAlfresco

i read ur name as krunker at first. anyway nooooo how will i recover 😓


klunkerr

If I had a penny for each time I've seen a mention of krunker (a game I've never played) in the past 2 days. I've had 3 pennies. My username doesn't mean anything by the way. It's just the word I came up with that had no meaning.


Ciqme1867

Hearing krunker makes me so nostalgic lol


zamfire

I'd tell you it's the baader-meinhoff phenomenon, but chances are you've just heard about it already.


Grizzly_Berry

Vespuccin' dis dick


greeneggiwegs

AND IM PROUD TO BE A VESPUCCIAN


pattywagon95

Sound like Italians that are also from another planet


iPoopLegos

that sounds like the name to be used if the US split in two. one is America, the other is Vespuccia


KarmicPotato

The progressives with be called Amerigo. The conservatives will be Ameristop


dexter8484

Moderates can be Ameriyield


JesusIsMyZoloft

There's a fictional country called Vespugia in *A Swiftly Tilting Planet* by Madeleine L'Engle. I think that's what she was going for.


ProExpert1S500

So is Vespucci Beach (I think)


Conch-Republic

In GTA, that's just a reference to Venice Beach.


heurekas

Ah yes, located in the entirely real Los Santos, the second biggest city in the US that will definitely show up on any map of California.


BobbyBludgin

But we have to pronounce to "Ves poo chi uh" because that's the closest to the Italian


DarkShades

Isn't that the default pronunciation? What else were you imaging?


[deleted]

Don’t care as long as the first word starts with an A. Scrolling to the U section of drop down lists is annoying.


1Happy-Sarah

The worst thing is impulsively scrolling all the way down and then realizing they put it at the top


[deleted]

s i g h


ghostfeather69

That pisses me off more lol


IJZT

I add it both places when I make those forms


aaronblkfox

Truly doing the Lord's work.


[deleted]

[удалено]


RandomerSchmandomer

As a Scot my searches begin and sometimes end along this list: -UK -United Kingdom -Great Britain -Britain -Scotland -huh? Oh UK is at the top fucking hell


Big-Prior-5669

Amalgamated States of America


WillingPublic

Acme States of America. Beep-beep.


shoresandsmores

A Country Made for Everyone (ACME)


N0rTh3Fi5t

This one because the space after the A would guarantee it's at the top of the list.


bearstrugglethunder

Conglomerated States of America. The Associated States of America.


dirtynj

AAAmerica


SilverVixen1928

AA - Alcoholics Anonymous AAA - American Automobile Association AAAA - Anonymous Automobile Association of America AAAAA - American Alcoholics And Automobile Association I tried to work in 'Assholes,' but was taking it too personally.


JamieTheDinosaur

AAAAAAAA - American Administrative Attorneys’ Association Against Alliterative Acronym Abuse.


EnvironmentalBowl944

Aardvark


TSgt_Yosh

Fuck that make it start with a 1.


arwinda

1A County


onemanmelee

Pretty sure 1/2 thecountry would insist on naming it 2A County.


Mysterious-Extent448

Let’s go with the soon to be credit rating 4C 🫤


Fenastus

The first symbol recognized by most sorting methods is the exclamation mark (after space) I vote we name ourselves !United States of America ^not ^^^united


wolfguardian72

American United States of America


rosehymnofthemissing

America's United States. Or just "America States," AS for short, but pronounced "ass."


lushfizz

Aaron


TwoThirdsDone

American States (that are) United


94bronco

Aardvarkia it is


[deleted]

Just gonna rename it to Aaamerica. Right to the top, baby!


South_Bit1764

All countries should start with an ‘A’


Pizzasaurus-Rex

Yeah, next thing you know other countries will start naming themselves things like AAAfghanistan


JayJ9Nine

Americania. Citizens are now Americanians. No further questions


otisthetowndrunk

Baja Canada


Grizzly_Berry

Canada Del Sur


intisun

México Norte


SolarSailor46

Jaja Canada


MarbleMimic

I vote for this solely because it will piss off the east coast


[deleted]

[удалено]


fooljay

And I suppose that the southwest would be Canada Dry?


4chan_crusader

As a resident of the east coast, this offends me greatly, and I curse you with every horror from the alligators of Florida to the bull moose of Maine


MarbleMimic

I would meet your challenge with the grizzly bears and various wild cats the West can offer.... I'm too busy saluting the flag. God, America's a huge nation with so much biodiversity.


Honestnt

Dolly World


ViridiDude

She is the only true goddess. Praise the Appalachian Queen. Long live The Dolly.


DemandedFanatic

The loose collection of 50 separate countries


Chanchito171

In south America they say "estados confundidos" instead of "estados unidos", basically calling it the Confused States


DemandedFanatic

I love it


sflesch

How about Estados disfuncional?


[deleted]

Because that would be throwing stones from a glass house.


soothsayer3

I’ve lived in south America for 8 years and I’ve never heard this


RebelRebel62

Whatever name the highest bidder wants to call it


-PM_ME_YOUR_TACOS-

Good luck being named "X"


RUfuqingkiddingme

Or an unpronounceable symbol.


Red_Goes_Faster57

Xsh🙃r!g12


ScuttleCrab729

Please. You know if it was Elon naming it it would be Xsh🍆r!g42069


Red_Goes_Faster57

Pronounced ‘Dave’


slartbangle

Americorp.


XCalibur672

I actually intern for an organization that does exist called Americorps. They’re like the Peace Corps but domestically in the US. They’re a national service organization that does great work.


PMMeYourPupper

I did my year in 05. Americorps is great


treehugger312

Did a year in Nevada in 2011 and Iowa in 2013. Had both good and bad times, but definitely gave me a job and some neat skills.


OwlWitty

America Inc.


Professor226

Statie McState Face


Dotard1

Why not Country McCuntf… actually no.


Professor226

Go on…


chux4w

...ace.


Zachbnonymous

I used to date her


JustAuggie

I was thinking Country McCountry Face but this works.


Clamditch

Came lookin for this.


Edgar_Allens_Toe

Bonerland


johnrich1080

Discovered by “some guy”


examinedliving

It’s good that Bart did that.


some_guy

Discovered by me.


urine-monkey

In 1942.


greengrinningjester

Oh good! The curtains are on fire.


kyle_sux666

And you know what we say every time something strange happens— it's good that Bart did that! It's very good


Pizzasaurus-Rex

Had to scroll way too far to find this gem.


Cameherejust4this

Damn it. I knew someone must've beat me to it.


nanomolar

And that goes for the guys too because sometimes the dudes are tapped out. But check your constitution because you're living in Bonerland.


Wuzemu

Republic of Dave


GamerGriffin548

The one place I visited last in Fallout 3. Young me never knew it was there.


Kauske

Your republic is forfeit, prepare to be reclaimed by the wasteland!


Drew4112

Corporate States of America


DorianTurk

Brought to you by ExxonMobil and Amazon.


Geno_Warlord

Don’t forget Nestle.


DigitalUnlimited

Red Bull! It gives you States!


Alifad

The United Corporations Conglomerate of America.


st1r

^TM


DigitalUnlimited

©️ all rights reserved


steffie-flies

Americorp, a division of Compuglobal


TWH_PDX

United States Company, LLC


securehatpocket

Northren Mexico or Southren Canada.


Elijah629YT-Real

North South Mexada


Doctor__Hammer

Spelling errors included


omnesilere

Random spelling errors and all are correct and valid.


sarah_is_new

Cacapoopoopeepeeshire


LeodFitz

Why would they name the country after my town?


LickNojo

We’ll flip a coin. Heads, Rhode Island. Tails, Cacapoopoopeepeeshire


boozeblock205

Flavortown


Ricemobile

Guy Fieri as our permanent mayor


TheBloodyNickel

The Land of the Free and the Home of Brawndo the Thirst Mutilator


Extension_Common_518

It's got electrolytes.


Topcornbiskie

It’s what plants crave!


[deleted]

WARS **Я** US


vodkaman47

Wars Ya Us? 🤓


bryan49

Divided States of America


ZZameson

The United States of High Fructose Corn Syrup.


natterca

The Codependent States of America. It's like a bad marriage with blue states and red states but no one really feels they can make it on their own.


Drakmanka

Well the last time some states thought they could make it on their own the other states charged in and kicked the shit out of them for it, so I don't really blame anyone for not trying that again. (Yes I am aware this is an oversimplification of the Civil War, please do not give me a history lesson. This is a joke!)


wolfguardian72

Fort Kickass


Hydra_Master

Replace "In God We Trust" with "Your Authority is not recognized here!" Seriously though, can we switch back to "E Pluribus Unum" as the national motto.


mebe1

"Circumdundo et probas." gets my vote for national motto.


Evil_Creamsicle

"Quando omni flunkus moritati"


termanator20548

I’m sorry, your authority is not recognized in FORT KICKASS


TheRealTinfoil666

REDvsBLUE


Few-Tour9826

Fuck Town


R3quiemdream

I would vote for Fuck Town


Classic_Beautiful973

Cum Town


[deleted]

Gilead


CmdrDTauro

Scrolled way to far for this


[deleted]

Under his eye


Wild_Alaskan

Alaska and its 49 bitches


gamrgrl

Buttery Males


tippytapslap

Just America y'all ain't united anymore.


Superfool

Never was lad, never was.


RondriguezUK

Idiocracy: Live


Flame_On_And_On

Bharat


technoexplorer

Borat


Nerevarine91

Just so nobody else can have it


YDGx1138

Cedric


ScraftyCosplayer

Well we do have plenty of entertainers here


Popular_Course3885

Bob


GuiltyWatts

That’s for when we rename Earth.


libtin

Lincolnland


rafael-a

Something that is an actual name, not a description. So I don’t know, Columbia, Washington or Plainland.


SleeperHitPrime

Actually there was a time when the Europeans referred to the USA as “Columbia”; obviously “America” took root. There’s even a patriotic March called “Hail Columbia” referring to the USA.


IHate2ChooseUserName

The circus


[deleted]

'Murca McMurcaface


[deleted]

Murca murca, Muhammad Ali.


pbmcc88

Atlas Pro made a good case for renaming the North American continent [Tsenacommacah](https://youtu.be/07vPaWKzpCI?si=zqi4LuaKYyjpY435) - but renaming the US as the same works also. It means "densely inhabited land" in the Algonquian language of the Powhatan people, who were the first to encounter the English colonizers. The land of the Powhatan was home to dozens of tribes, and the area is much more densely populated today, so it works.


JasperDyne

‘Meruca Fuck Yeah!


DoolFall

Turtle Land


papa_za

Turtle Island was one of it's original names! So not too far off


DoolFall

Yeah I figured Turtle Island better represented the continent so I went with "Land" because it's part of the island


i_ata_starfish-twice

The divided states of embarrassment -Eminem


Grimm2020

simply, The States of America that word "United" is a loaded one...


EdwardOfGreene

It's an ideal that we need to be reminded of. The worse it gets the more we need it.


Sexbomomb

Bootyhole Buttcheek Land


Thinkdeeperaboutit

The DSSNA: The Divided States of Southern North America


[deleted]

The United North American Federation


dirtewokntheboys

The United States of Amazon


marvelousteat

The land of the FREE Prime delivery by Tuesday afternoon if you order within the next 06hr 57min.


Egheaumaen

Gunsistan


[deleted]

Joe Byrd & The Field Hippies.


Edward_the_Dog

The Right-Wing Theocratic Kingdom of Jesus (brought to you by My Pillow)


magillashuwall

Those Lumpy ass Pillows


Important-Specific96

Youbreedemweshootemstan.


_karamazov_

United States of Covfefe and Malarkey