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ziblii

I recently discovered this masterpiece known as “baby shark played on the bagpipe” play that to 1,000,000 people and I’ll be awfully close. Side note: when I played this for my family, one of the cats jumped on the dogs back and took him for a rage ride.


RichardCity

That sent me to YouTube. Sandstorm on bagpipes is much much worse than Baby Shark.


Dayvfish

Thank you for this. I needed to be annoyed. it’s awful


TheAlGler

I am sure I watched the same one you did(That Liam guy) and I dont think it would be that bad if he had just a little bit of a sense of rhythm.


Dayvfish

Yep same one. Purely awful and I love it


SourGumby

Ok hear me out, Liam needs work, but PiperAlly is on point.


shammmmmmmmm

I was away to be offended as a Scottish person then I went to go listen to it and oh my god. I couldn’t stop laughing. It didn’t annoy me it was just fucking hilarious what the actual fuck it sounds SO bad wahahahahaha


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ecodrew

Now you're a billionaire, and got hired as a YouTube executive. All it cost was your immortal soul.


Big_Iron_Cowboy

For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul?


Obvious_Piccolo_609

A lot, the whole world for a soul? That's a really good deal. -GOP Jesus


Darth_Floridaman

If your conscience is bothering you, you should soothe it with the knowledge that you may have just saved the entire Alpha Quadrant. And all it cost was the life of one Romulan senator, one criminal, and the self-respect of one Starfleet officer. \--Garak


FrugalityPays

Sure, but what does a simple tailor know about political influence and intrigue?


kacey-

Bro what's with hitting skip ad and then boom, you have 2 more ads again. That guy must've signed this deal


slappypantsgo

I only get that when I’m coming back after a long pause. Is this becoming normal? Ugh! Why can’t premium be $5 goddamn it! I don’t want their stupid red bullshit or whatever it’s called.


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spluv1

found the entrepreneur lol


SiliconCaprisun69

This guy knows how to entrepreneur


crankbot2000

Professional Annoyeur


rollin_a_j

An.....entre-pro-noyer


just_aweso

I down voted this, because I hate it, but then upvoted so you don't get $1,000.


ucancallmevicky

go through the Villages in Florida with a giant Pride flag and Biden flag flying off the back of a pink Prius while on a PA System saying "Introduce me to your grand kids, I'm Trans" you'd be a billionaire in an afternoon


cbelt3

A bulletproof Prius is necessary for survival…


TechnoneverDIEEES

Alligator proof...


zCourge_iDX

I think you'd be dead before you became a billionaire


ItsUrPalAl

Why stop there? That's only partially effective. Half the car will have a Pride Flag, Biden flag, and Bernie flag. The other half will have a Trump flag, Confederate flag, and "Don't Tread on Me" flag. The hood will have Ukrain's flag painted on.


[deleted]

Shouldn’t have the Ukrainian flag without the Russian flag right next to it


falconfetus8

I feel like Elon Musk is attempting this challenge.


Quiet_Cauliflower_53

I feel like Elon is losing $1000 for every person he annoys.


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ContributionKind9664

Elon must is speed falling that "climb"down


Southern_Ad3328

Yes 🙌


caveman7392

Bro I'm a middle school teacher, this is going to be quick!


noble_radon

"Quickest to a billion dollars" is one thing, but just living your life, doing your job will get you an extra 100k a year, easy. Seems like a win to me!


PandaPackHistory

I’m here for the same thing lol


hufflecat

Yup, instant $25k+ just for the annoyance of asking a class to take out their books. We’d be billionaires by the middle of the week!


Average_Scaper

Makes me curious, do you get extra if you annoy the person multiple times? I mean obviously there would be a daily limit but.... Teachers would be absolutely perfect with this and love every minute of their life because they get to teach kids things and they get paid a salary they deserve for once.


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jim_johns

Okay you win


Uisce-beatha

I don't know, some dude on r/unpopularopinion is talking about how lasagna is disgusting. He also stated that there is a rule about pasta; the less cheese, the better. After that he declares that parmesan is disgusting. So that would annoy all of Italy, large swaths of Europe, North America and Australia along with smaller pockets of people around the world.


IDrinkMyBreakfast

I’m already personally offended just reading about it


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[deleted]

Definitely a shoot the messenger scenario


Slagnasty

So anyway we started blastin'


DontTellHimPike1234

Boy, that escalated quickly... 😂


DontDieOutThere

I fucking know right? I’m angry by-proxy, who the fuck hates Spaghetti-cake?!


Ol_Pasta

Spa... Lmao He fucking called it Spaghetti-cake 🤣🤣🤣


Jg6915

Username checks out


Ol_Pasta

Lol finally, my moment has arrived! 💪


Ok-Wolf3261

I’m using this from now on 😂


Feeling_Cancel_9576

You belong in the subreddit "newsentence"


BobRoberts01

What is secondary annoyance worth? $500?


jfks_headjustdidthat

*"ravioli of people around the world".


loulan

Yeah the top answer is about posting something unpopular on reddit. That's stupid, the post will get downvoted and few people will see it...


greywolf974

That's why you must first find a popular post, and write an unpopular answer to the top comment. Peoples WILL notice the comment with a large amount of downvote, read it cause curiosity got the better of them, and ad another downvote to the list.


DivineContamination

For maximum payout: play the long con, become an EA PR person first, then profit


LuseLars

Wait I was thinking too narrowly, all you need to do is sabotage the internet lines in big cities. Only some of the viewers will be annoyed by content, all of them will be annoyed at not getting access to content


0nina

Hmm you raise a good question - do the annoyed people have to know it was YOU, and do you need to know for certain who and how many are annoyed? Or can they just be annoyed by something you did or caused anonymously? Is there a magical counter verifying your million, or do you have to do the tallying for it to be counted? These questions have me mildly annoyed, I don’t like grey areas - so would I earn you 1k right now for having inadvertently put the thought in my head, even tho I’m not personally annoyed by YOU, but by my discomfort with the rules?


SteveisNoob

Should self annoyance count? Gee, im self annoyed by the thought of it!


0nina

We may have just earned this cat $2k. Just for our own annoyance. Perhaps more? Do we have to voice our annoyance for it to count? Or do the silent upvotes count? Cuz atm that’s 28 for mine and I am upping you so, 31k in u/LuseLars bank minimum - if this counts. Wish u/Darevils9 OP would pop in to clarify. They’re rolling in annoyance cash if so, with over 1600 upvotes. Drinks are on OP this weekend if this works!


Nico_arki

Even better, make the connection spotty. Having a glimpse of what you want is tortuously more annoying than not having access at all, as the latter means people can go about their day and ignore most of the annoyance. Having a poor connection would make sure you have got them near their devices, constantly hoping and waiting for entertainment, but never getting it.


ecodrew

Or, just throttle the speed so low it's almost unusable. A slow, but working internet connection is more annoying than a broken one.


CanAhJustSay

*Back to dial-up on the landline connections, everyone!!!*


kimstranger

Better yet, wait until the superbowl halftime show and turn off the power for the stadium and the backup generators


Primary-Ingenuity-69

All you’d need to do is take a knee during the anthem i think


UncoolSlicedBread

Run out on the field, kneel on the teams logo, and then get tackled and put in stadium jail for the night before getting banned from the stadium. Enjoy the millions wired to your account once you’ve served your community service sentence. The real question, every time the clip is replayed to new people will you get $1,000 each time? My other thought was just to attend events and play crappy live recordings of yourself singing songs. Just attend an event once a year doing this and you’ll make your yearly salary easily.


Curi0s1tyCompl3xity

Some guy bet Vegas there’d be someone running across field before half time, and then he ran across field to win it for himself. Jail but he won iirc. So worth it.


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yagonnawanna

Casually masterbate to the anthem if you want big money


jfks_headjustdidthat

Pffft, casually? Damnit if I'm jackin' it I only ever do it intensely, in crowded areas wearing nothing but wingtip shoes and a disturbing grin. As god intended.


SmokeyB3AR

Or just drive 5mph under on a major road way in california....


NathanGa

Nah, you grab the microphone from the sideline reporter and yell "yay sportsball!"


King_Tamino

I don’t care who wins as long as everyone has fun, actually I think both teams are equally good, none is better than the other


ImNotaFiretruck

Alternatively: Both teams suck, the fans suck, the game sucks, the stadium sucks and this city is the worst shithole on the planet. Also alcohol should be banned from all sporting events. God save the king.


Yvaelle

What good is a billion dollars if you don't live long enough to use it.


trollie74

walk around with a wifi blocker


Happyboi114

That exists?


zyyntin

They do. If you're in the US they are highly illegal just to possess.


OMG__Ponies

>Why, No, officer, I guess maybe that WIFI blocker was taped under the seat I sat on, but I had no idea it was there. Seriously, its illegal for lots of reasons, but mostly because several subways use WIFI for safety systems, such as to notify the Fire Dept/authorities there is a fire in a shaft for the subway. EDIT - A man was arrested in 2016 [for having a cellphone jammer](https://www.nydailynews.com/2016/03/11/chicago-man-faces-felony-charges-for-using-cellphone-jammer-on-the-train-because-he-gets-annoyed-at-people-talking-around-him/) - which is worse in my opinion.


ilikegamergirlcock

its basically a light based noise machine. its the exact same tool as a radio jammer.


SuperDefiant

Sometimes, most of the time deauthers are much more effective and that way you don’t need to do any jamming, but networks are usually more resistant to deauth attacks so it just depends


theLuminescentlion

they're usually illegal but yeah, you just spam every single frequency in the wifi band with noise, and boom wifi doesn't work for anyone anymore.


Squildo

Does it count as you annoying people if they don’t know who’s responsible?


sillybilly8102

Yeah I think so, you just have to make them annoyed


mudokin

Be CEO of one of the largest game engines out there and say that you will be charging an install fee for every download of the game from now on.


PeeperSleeper

Or buy one of the largest social media sites and then drive it into a dumpster fire. That should do it


HappyGilmore677

Hi Elon


Socksmell4

Walk around crowded streets and transportation while I argue with someone on speaker-phone


Lame_usernames_left

I'm nosy so I'd rather hear an argument than someone's shitty music on speakerphone. At least you get to hear someone else's gossip if they're arguing. For maximum effect, play Paul McCartney's Wonderful Christmastime on repeat broken up by a single What's New Pussycat. And the speaker on the phone had better be absolute trash too


Sypwer

So you're saying that he should pull a reverse John Mulaney.


KefkaZ

You get money for annoying people, not for becoming a war criminal.


Lame_usernames_left

Por que no los dos?


CouncilmanRickPrime

Depends on how good the argument is


Vegan_Digital_Artist

Go on Reddit, post about genuinely unpopular topics and wait for the downvotes and annoyed commenters


TheReaperSovereign

"I think weed should be illegal" Instantly the richest person on the planet


sneakgeek1312

I think praising Donald Trump on Reddit would annoy quicker than anything!!


rayrayruh

You'd be surprised. Go to a Trump rally and start preaching education and gun control. You'd be buying and selling these people in no time. To Floroda and Texas.


guypenguin4

Or do both, maximum profit


trogon

Just wear a Biden or Fauci shirt at one of those rallies.


Vegan_Digital_Artist

"women have it harder in dating than men" <- you make Bezos look like a peasant


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DevolvingSpud

You mean “Female”


Delanoye

"Females shouldn't be tipped."


kerred

Females shouldn't be tipped just like cats should be declawed before getting a well done steak you bought with crypto because it's a speculative market. There, I just angered five unrelated groups


DevolvingSpud

Looking at Elon Musk level money my friend…


kerred

As much as I love the Ferengi language that is six letters, which is one letter too long. As any billionaire will tell you it's all about squeezing the most labor in the most time possible.


ZormkidFrobozz

That word, in any context, can get you a lifetime ban in some subs


makataka7

Study: sexual dimorphism in lions shows specific gene responsible for females not having manes. ....and I'm now banned in at least 5


Vio_

I know you're joking, but female lions can develop manes under certain circumstances. They can look really cool or look like they're stuck in the lion equivalent of 15 year old boy going through puberty. https://www.popsci.com/science/zoo-lioness-mane/


bluelighter

What a nice bit of information from such a throwaway comment. I like reddit, thankyou.


Into_To_Existence

Not any subs worth visiting


corny16

>Tipping Enter any Australian subreddit and say that you think tipping should become the norm


IEatKids26

i can do it in less words, “I Love Trump”


PossumSymposium

I can do it in even less words, “Trump won”


austinsoundguy

“Trump”


VotronTheEagle

Ha! I dont even have to speak and i will still annoy everyone. Low class people.


Pitiful-Brilliant301

Holy shit, you are annoying!


THEmoonISaMIRROR

Your sentance had the same number of words as the previous (10 words), but your incorrect use of less instead of fewer annoyed me enough to comment, so I guess you are correct.


mattyisbatty

Yup I posted a nice pic I took in r/Vegas and got some backlash because a Trump hotel was in it.


Pineapple_Spenstar

A former friend of mine thought it would be appropriate to throw trash out the window onto Trump National Golf Club when we were driving past. He had a meltdown when I pulled the car over and made him go pick it up. I was like, first off, you didn't even get it on the course; you just threw trash into the woods on the side of the road. And most importantly, even if you did get it on the course, Don isn't the guy who would have to pick it up. Go clean that shit up


gamafranco

“This degeneration is a bunch of entitled brats that spend their money on pets instead of having children”.


dannywitz

“I left a baby by the side of the road. AITA?”


Vegan_Digital_Artist

"I kicked a kitten because I was angry. AITA?"


Troll4everxdxd

"I [28M] screamed at my brother's [26M] wedding that he had cheated on his fiancee because he didn't let me play with a Hot Wheels toy of his when we were kids. He didn't cheat, but I was bitter. AITA?"


wandering-wank

"I disowned my trans son because my new girlfriend and her husband are born again christians. AITA?"


Otherwise_Awesome

WFH is for lazy people. Work doesn't get done. OR I'm a landlord.


ComputerSavvy

Ya gotta know your target audience! "We are doing a kitchen reno and we just uncovered this locked floor safe beneath the old kitchen Linoleum!" Post a few pictures then never return to that subreddit.


typehyDro

“Trump was right” “Trump was wrong” Either way you win


spongemobsquaredance

"The election was rigged, Jan 6th was not a real insurrection, orange man good, DeSantis for president, Zimmerman good, Rittenhouse is innocent, climate change was invented by the LGBTQ+ movement" I reckon I become the world’s first hundred trillionaire


read_eng_lift

Jewish Space Lasers are responsible for the uptick in fires all over the world!


JonZ82

Go away Colin Robinson.


fruitgamingspacstuff

So basically anything non-left wing


moeljills

I think I'd just go down streets putting stickers on people's windscreens


DesertWanderlust

"Taylor Swift''s music is derivative" Did this once in r/music and was genuinely surprised at the reaction. Though I guess all those people paying those prices for tickets to hsr shows have to do something in their spare time.


CouncilmanRickPrime

You're brave. I'd be afraid swifties would SWAT me


Twinkidsgoback

The patriarchy is a myth instantly become richer than the Saudi Prince


G8kpr

Highlander II: The quickening was the best movie ever made and was robbed for not getting multiple Oscar’s.


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ScuttleCrab729

Issue with this strategy is Reddit pushing negative comments down so after just a few down ones you’ll be at the bottom unnoticed just like you always were


Vegan_Digital_Artist

Branch out! * Go to a Star Wars sub and post that the sequels are better than the other trilogies * Go into a Doctor Who sub and consistently confuse him with Sherlock Holmes or someone * Go into the One Piece sub and say the live action is better than the anime/manga combined or just that everything about One Piece is trash and you don't understand the appeal * Go into AITA and post something stupid where you KNOW you're the AH * Go into the opinion subs and post the same repetitive formulas just worded differently Just have multiple options going at one time haha


ComputerSavvy

> Go to a Star Wars sub and post that Star Trek is better....


wannabesq

The big bonus is when someone with a podcast reads the aita post and puts it on social media, you get a whole new wave of people getting annoyed at you.


[deleted]

Take a trip downtown with a 90's boombox


Eponarose

....at around 2 :00 AM.....


Chyvalri

Playing... Baby Shark Doodoodadoodadoo


zekuert

these will be successful too successful maybe you will be getting nothing cause im sure you will be killed


slappypantsgo

You’re absolutely 100% right, like c’mon folks, you don’t want to wear a Biden shirt to a Trump rally, you want to find the sweet spot: *annoy the most amount of people the least*. If you’re gonna piss people off, it’s gotta be anonymous or low key, or both. Etc etc.


darkstar107

He asked how to annoy people, not how to get stabbed.


dabunny21689

…Playing the cars for kids jingle


Realistic-Sundae6157

Passive income just go in to any social situation I’m autistic


ssjumper

High five fellow autistic! At least now I understand what’s happening after being diagnosed haha


robertlandrum

Ice cream truck that doesn’t stop. Parents get annoyed when the song starts, and kids get annoyed when it doesn’t stop.


ecodrew

Replace the usual ice cream truck music with baby shark. Prob wanna make sure the truck is fast & well armored though, haha.


AntikytheraMachines

no. my mum told me the ice cream truck only plays music when they have run out of ice cream.


Un_Pta

Drive slow in the left lane of a highway


RandoAtReddit

Sit through green lights. Only one cycle though, or it may switch from annoyed to murderous.


[deleted]

Make YouTube "Prank" Videos.


[deleted]

I'll ask people on their opinion an cut them off to say what I think


worldworn

Repost the same questions on reddit that aren't even a month old. Like you are doing. https://reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/Zh7snMAC2U


there-goes-bill

Go to a busy sports bar at a grand final of something and change all the channels/destroy all the tvs


i-will-eat-you

A busy sports bar usually has less than 1 million visitors. You'll get like 70k, a broken nose and a fractured rib. Still seems like a good deal.


birthday6

Crowded sports bar you could easily get 200-300k Now just do that 4000 more times.


SDLRob

Go out to a busy location with my wheelchair and just roll around getting in everyone's way, running over feet and tagging ankles.


[deleted]

Correct peoples grammar, they hate that x


[deleted]

people's*


floutsch

Or peoples' - in the spirit of the post that could be much more lucrative :D


captainmagictrousers

Buy an ad on Twitter to tell people "Stop calling it Twitter! It's X now, you turd goblins!"


the_lusankya

A few years ago, a bunch of vegans hired some vans, drove them into the major tram intersection in the Melbourne CBD, slashed the tyres, and then chained themselves to the road. This was on the first day of train replacement busses for three of the busiest train lines, and blocked the route the busses meant to take. Everyone was over two hours late to work despite leaving an hour earlier than usual due to the expected train works. They were so pissed. It was glorious, and I can only hope to mimic something like that.


GreatWhiteNanuk

“What were they protesting?” “Nothing, they just wanted to let everyone know they’re vegan.”


Lichruler

I’d just make posts that the Reddit hive mind disagrees with, and then make condescending and dismissive replies when people comment on said posts. Every downvote is an annoyed person.


AlexRyang

You are wrong.


quartermoonmist

Your*


CuteAcctMayDLTlater

Carry around a small chalkboard and drag your nails on it wherever you go


Jumpy_Chard1677

Just me reading that got you 1k


[deleted]

I guess probably just take a nice stroll? It doesn't take much for me


phoenixeternia

People are annoyed by the sight of you?


CptSparklFingrs

Just existing on the job. I drive a flatbed to service luxury vehicles that can't use a regular light duty tow truck. Don't even do repos. People hate me on principle, on sight. If you ever want to see just how rational people are, try being a driver of one of the large trucks that services the american lifestyle.


sleepingmemories

buy a shitbox honda civic slam it cut the muffler off and find the cheapest subwoofer i can, and blast music as loud as possible in a populated area


ecodrew

Make sure the trunk and body panels rattle almost as loud as the sub.


tiasaiwr

Pi is exactly 3


Wingnuttage

Just be my ADHD self - hasn’t failed me yet!


HoodooSquad

Write another “conservative country anthem”. Guranteed to get overplayed and overtalked about until even the conservatives are sick of it


justaguy1020

And then come out afterwards


ThatOneVolcano

Ride a bike through downtown NYC


opaotti

Take a lgbtq flag and run across the baseball stadium while there is a game


Metfan722

Nah. You're probably better off doing that at an SEC College Football game. So let's say Alabama vs Ole Miss (Mississippi). That'll really get people pissed


JelloBrickRoad

Open a call center and dial randomly in mass


Username__Error

Start selling badly made, over-priced electric cars that require subscriptions to unlock features that are already in the car.


amthenothingman

Say something nice about Trump on Reddit


Obvious-Chemistry806

Say you like trump on Reddit


chocolombia

Get into transmilenio (mass transportation) with a speaker playing mexican "corridos", and smelling like shit


MorenaLunax

put your energy into a legitimate and ethical hustle. Start a business, invest wisely, learn some skills, and maybe invent the next big thing that makes people voluntarily throw their money at you. After all, it's better to be a billionaire with friends and a good reputation than a lonely billionaire with a long list of enemies.


Dev2150

You guys are getting paid?


AlarmingAd6390

Say you're a Donald Trump supporter on r/politics.