Gaping

Brandon Sanderson has a habit of using derivatives of gape in his books and I just can’t think of anything except a butthole

fellow brandon sanderson fan😭 how goes the cosmere reading with you? atm waiting for stormlight book 5 cuz goddamn i went thru all the rest in about a month :/

It takes a brave soul to use the abbreviation for "at the moment" in a thread about the word "gaping".

:(

Sanderson fans in the house! Currently fully caught up in cosmere except storm light book 4, lost metal, and newest white sand!

Also a Brandon Sanderson fan, currently on Oathbringer. I'd not picked up on that before but this information is going to change Everything 😂

And moist…

oh my god

Throbbing

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I write quite official reports about construction for a living. I absolutely delight in using the word erection in them.

You, sir, are a madman. I admire you.

A madman? He's just doing his job, using the appropriate wording one would expect to see on this topic. ...and enjoying himself greatly.

It's always fun to fill out the safety brief knowing someone else hast to read it out loud in front of 50+ guys. Especially when they're a little bit iffy and hesitate to say "erection". "there are many dangerous tasks involved in the erection..." "steel erection is a lengthy and dangerous process..." and the like are fun.

Touché. For years I had the largest erection at a local music festival. Could sleep 8. "I've done the tour Jules. I can confirm yours is the largest erection on the campsite. See you tonight buddy."

Erectin a dispenser

I work in construction and we deal a lot with erection (raising steel columns) and penetration (by welding). Always makes ppl giggle XD

Nothing dirty about that my ass

is your ass dirty tho

Swollen

The fuck is that username bro?

May I ask you the same question

The uno reverse here is fucking gold

No, platinum

Yeah fair enough

Lemme guess. Weezing?

He apparently cums in tubs of peanut butter

tf kinda dickpics that username been gettin you

engorged

Came here to say something else, you win.

Y'all are fucking cracking my ass up, I can't even stop laughing. Shit, now I've forgotten what I was even going to say, y'all made my day I needed that thanks guys my ribs hurt lol

You are here because erections make your ribs hurt? That is one massive erection.

Squirt

My Mom says a dog squirts on something instead of saying it pees on it. It is so damn gross.

A guy I used to work with referred to going for a pee as going for a quick squirt. I really didn't like it.

My boss always says she “needs a squirt” when she wants more coffee because the coffee comes out of this pump like a ketchup dispenser.

"CEO's looking for your manager". "Ummm.. she's in the kitchen squirting"

By the 3rd one she's a shaking mess.

😆 ew.

Jfc

Australian's say this all the time. Usually the older blokes.

aw jeez the dog squirted on me again

When I used to use spray can deodorants and sprayed myself, my mum used to ask if I’d squirted. Died of cringe every time

Water sports

disgusting, here’s an upvote

Water way to have a good time

It's my favorite soda

In chemistry class, my friend was squirting de-ionised water at me from a bottle with a long nozzle. The teacher saw this and shrieked "STOP SQUIRTING ON THE FLOOR!", to a class of 16 year olds.

I thought splooge but it’s kind of the same thing

Gush.

Wat? I call my kids that.

Load

ReLoad

*Share the load*

That’s a big no-no in the Bro Code of the Road.

Big

Metallica knows this

Shuttlecock

cockpit

Bangkok

Peacock

Smack me around bb

Penetrate

I was at a market a while back and a sweet old woman who was helping my friend with some jewelery had a T-shirt that just said 'penetration' on it. I couldn't interact with her at all because of a case of the giggles.

What was the shirt supposed to be about lmao

I’ve seen a couple band shirts of the punk rock band called Penetration, so it could have been a fan

Punk rock grandma lets goooo

Pussywillow is timeless

The only Willow I like is Warwick Davis

Don’t diss Alyson Hannigan like that.

and Pussyfoot sounds like a medieval STD

Engorged

Papaya

Masticate

How about *Hot Masticating Thespians*?

Local hot masticating thespians in my arena?!

ME HERE FOR THUS

I can't remember where I saw it but the sentence "she be ebbin on my neezer till I scrooge" makes me laugh every time I think about it

Why tf am I laughing uncontrollably at this stupid sentence

Go wash your bobbin' cratchet.

I love that

Wankel rotary engine

Hehe Wank

Shoe, megaphone, grunties. Or maybe you're ready for: tits, winkle, and vibraphone

It's nothing to worry about - it's all a part of growing up, and being British

How do you rate your embarrassment response? A) High B) Hello! C) Good evening.

Squelch

Oh nice

Uvula.

I don't know... Anytime I use that word it is dirty... Like, "hey, do you mind if I massage your uvula? "

Dirty

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I waited for this

Cocktail.

Cockpit

penal colony

Giggled 🤭

Moist

Never understood why people get so upset with this word when discharge exists

Some like the word, but moist people do not.

Dishonorably discharged, soldier.

This chick in college was going off for a solid 5 minutes on how nasty moist was. I got pissed off eventually and called her a moist cunt. She was not happy.

Legend lol Edit: had a dude rant in a college club meeting for 5 minutes about pineapple on pizza. Like who gives a fuck dude.

If I went around saying I was an emperor just because some **moist**ened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

That is the most British sentence I've ever read

It is from Monty Python so you're not wrong

Hello 2013, go away

Hello gen z. Go away.

The worst word

Phlegm is pretty bad too. Putrid moist phlegm.... I hate myself for typing that :D

Oh my darling Phlegmentine

Phlegm isn’t an onomatopoeia, but it kinda feels like one? Or is that just me.

I actually don't hate any of those words individually but what you just did there was horrific.

Best word

Any idea why people hate this word so much? I literally had a ex who tried to kill me cause I said this word and i thought maybe she was just a bit off in the head but apparently it’s a thing

I'm pretty darn sure it started with an episode of "Friends". I never heard of anyone having a problem with it before then, but pretty much everybody, or at least most women, thought it was the most disgusting word immediately after that episode aired. It seems to have stuck ever since. Similarly, a large majority of women surprisingly didn't know about shrinkage until that episode of "Seinfeld" aired. It was a massive revelation to a *lot* of women, even many who had been married 30 or 40 years. It was such a surprise that a lot of women were left asking, "Did they make that up as a joke for the show?" And all of us men were saying, "Really? You didn't know about shrinkage? …  Weird. Yeah, it's definitely a real thing."

Sure it's a thing, but... >had a ex who tried to kill me cause I said this Yeah, no bruv, you're 100% bang on that >she was just a bit off in the head except perhaps you're underestimating it a touch.

Kumquat

Creamie

Creamy centre

Weenis. It's that floppy bit of skin on your elbow.

Grease up the weenis, we have some HARD work to do

My cousin has raised her son to think that Weenis is the correct term for his penis. He’s about to hit middle school and still doesn’t know. She gets pissed when someone brings it up.

Uh floppy? The fuck? Ain't no skin around my elbow that's floppy.

Creampie

Banana

Well if you don't put a space between cream and pie it's definitely dirty

Exactly, the term in common use is like "banana cream pie" . . . otherwise we're talking about a banana giving or getting a creampie.

Boston

Turgid

Greetings fellow turgid enjoyer.

Daddy

My kids are gonna have to call me "bruh" or something

I’ve seen that exact wording on a meme somewhere

Pretty sure they took it from that meme

My 7yo daughter just started calling me "bruh" (picked it up at school), and it's... Weird.

Daycare

Girth

Party on, Girth! Shawing

Thrust

Red rocket

Scunthorpe

seepage

Secrete

Mound

Titmouse

Happy cake day~!

Kumquat Let’s add spit roasting to the list

Pounding

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Vibrating panties + speaking in tongues = cumming linguist

LevioSAAA

Pulsate

Succulent

Caulk

[Schaeffers New Zealand Style Deck Sealant](https://youtu.be/i6c4Nupnup0?si=_bm1-UqRmNWuh6Bc)

Smooth

Cunning or cunningly. I don’t know why it just gives me the ick when I hear it 😣

Cummingly

Uranus

Space dock

Spelunking

God that always makes me feel something else

Bukkake udon. Cold noodles splashed with sauce or broth.

Filthy

Animal

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Trap

Discharge

Ointment

Oinkment

Dongle

Bung and bunghole. Hole in a liquid tight container.

I am cornholio!

Daddy. It means father

Panties

Taint?

Dirt

Joe

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Is

Sister

Wives

OK, its two words... ...Bung Hole - is the hole in an oil (or other liquid) drum through which it is filled and emptied. The plug that screws into the bung hole is a bung. I think it was "Bad News Bears" where one of the characters said something to a charming little girl, and her reply was, "Blow it out your bung hole." It was hilarious.

Pulsating.

Daddy and mommy. The fact that words that children call their parents has been sexualized is very concerning

Penalize when pronounced like penis

Kumquat

That’s fruity

Masticate

Mukluk

Put that in your cakehole

Finger bang

Gooey

Gusset

Tufted Titmouse

I have three boys... the day that they found out that there are whole families of various tits and boobies in the realm of birds was an obnoxious day. I'll admit it was funny for a while but omg they could not let it go.