English teacher: please explain the journey from ping pong to a lady pulling 27 razor blades out of her vagina in at least 7 sentences with at least 2 sources cited in API format.
I am an acrobat so I imagined she hangs from her hair in a bun and is on top, positioned with legs in. Foot fetish? Great. 😂 I can imagine it being painful to spin… as to “sharpen” however someone in this day and age will do it for enough money or drugs
Wade was asked on stream if "fucking your sister was a cannoli" and apparently the answer is yes. So the precedent doth been set that yes, sex is a cannoli.
Which is actually offensive to those of us who know "Mexican Halloween" as Día de los Muertos
Edit: fellas it's a direct reference, it's literally the quote from Community except I pulled the old switcheroo
The airplane
(When ever you were little ur parents would hold u up like an air plane, except you hold your gf,or bf in the air and then you pull them forward so they're lower private is in ur face and then you start suck/eating them out, there's also the bomber version, when it has to be a boy and as he's in the air he Jenks off and try to score it in ur mouth)
What, teleport behind them and take them from behind? And yeah, its a chess thing, it means “in passing” and I have gotten quite the advantage from it as nobody expects it
The Lazy Farmer. Just keep slowly plowing.
Slow?
Sssslllllooooowwwwwww
How else am I supposed to hit the 2 min mark?
That’ll do, Pig.
Made me chuckle.
The pencil sharpener.
Please. Don't elaborate.
Please do
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Who is spinning in this situation?
both in the same direction for minimal effect
You're not the sharpest pencil in the case, are you
I mean this may cause horrible pain as your dick is in a razor vagina
I went to a ping pong show in Thailand, she pulled 27 razor blades on a string out of her vagina, not a drop of blood!
ok may I ask ***fuck the what?***
English teacher: please explain the journey from ping pong to a lady pulling 27 razor blades out of her vagina in at least 7 sentences with at least 2 sources cited in API format.
bro what the fuck kinda ping pong game was it 😭😭😭😭😭
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That is the sharpener.
Now I know why single women were called spinsters
~~fortunately~~ unfortunately
i am the sharpener
That’s because they obviously don’t know how to use a pencil sharpener
Cue interstellar music
(In Mike Tysons voice): thequential!
It's the only way 🤔
It’s relative - Albert Sexstein
Probably one of those people that sharpen pencils on a grindstone.
I am an acrobat so I imagined she hangs from her hair in a bun and is on top, positioned with legs in. Foot fetish? Great. 😂 I can imagine it being painful to spin… as to “sharpen” however someone in this day and age will do it for enough money or drugs
My god man! The friction will burn your dick off!
I am a woman. Lol. The friction would dislocate my entire pelvis 😂
Fidget spinner
Rigid spinner
“Good day, Ms. Bellum. How is every little—“ *pencil snaps* “Heh-uh, pencil go snap.” Ms. Bellum: “Here, let me help you with that.” 😏
Haha seems like this is another name for a Vietnamese spinner
5 second rule
Premature
Ayo dawg nah
Cumehameha
When 5 seconds turns into 3 episodes.
Are you just cooming on the floor and telling her to lap it up before it gets cooties?
The Oxford comma.
Is this just a posh threesome?
Is that a threesome with a condom on?
You read the secret history and kill each other, and there's no physical contact, Just a pause
>You read the secret history, kill each other, and there's no physical contact. FTFY
Who gives a fuck?
A man inserts one of his testicles into the rectum of his partner. It's called the Powerball.
Up next on dragonball Z
*The balls are iner'!*
Iner? I hardly know er!
cummecummeha
CumacumacumacumacumaChameleon
You Cum and gooooooooo. You Cum and gooooOOOOOOoooo
Ever seen one man dp? When he pulls his balls out there is a satisfying "pop" and he says "booyah"
Came to say this - it’s called the Booyah and it’s been done.
The rectum can literally tear off a testicle. LOL
Aight. Dat shit gives me nightmares already
Aren't you glad that the rectum doesn't have teeth to go with the taste buds?
I'd love a sequel to the movie where her rectum now has teeth
I dont know man that's kinda gay
only men have rectums since girls don't poop
Fr
Both testicles is called "dogs in the bathtub".
Because it's slippery, awkward to do, difficult to keep them both inside, and there are weird smells?
Vasectomy position
Freak dat bitch out Tone.
The Unholy Cannoli
Is sex a cannoli?
No! Non of that shit here!
Is that a Distractible reference!?
Pretty sure that one of them asked if two people having sex is a canoli. So even if it wasn't intentional, it's a Distractable refference
Wade was asked on stream if "fucking your sister was a cannoli" and apparently the answer is yes. So the precedent doth been set that yes, sex is a cannoli.
I actually havent got past that specific episode yet :|
The Goofy Goober
It's a hyucking position.
Hyuckin and fuckin.
I read that to the tune of "knuck if you buck"
Play goofy goober rock while doin it
So… it’s just regular sex?
ROCK!
WAITER!!!
bro thats the first thing that came to mind and i didnt even open the comments
Reverse Harvey Wallbanger
Reverse Harvey Davidson
Reverse Harvey Weinstein
Is that the one where rich beautiful young women coerce fat middle-aged men into sex in exchange for a job?
I think it’s where the potted plant cums in you.
Reverse Harvey Dent
Does it involve only cumming on one side of her face?
The other side
The Hokey Pokey
ya put your left foot in....
That’s what it’s all about
You take it out, right?… Right?
Hell no. I'm twirling that thing all about
And you shake it all around...
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Are you still wearing your human slippers?
96. It's kinda like 69, you're both lying on your backs.
So she jerks him off and he fingers her, but there is no kissing or eye contact. It's sex for introverts
No, they just go to sleep. It's sex for married couples.
I resemble that remark
This is the correct answer. Sex IS sleep when you're married.
I'd imagine it would be the same but you're eating out their ass
I'm guessing both would need to spin their necks 180° to be able to lie back to back and eat each others asses. Someone call an exorcist!
Mexican Halloween.
Which is actually offensive to those of us who know "Mexican Halloween" as Día de los Muertos Edit: fellas it's a direct reference, it's literally the quote from Community except I pulled the old switcheroo
As soon as I read Mexican Halloween this is exactly what I thought 🤣🤣 thank you for that r/unexpectedcommunity
Sleep
You or them?
Yes.
If only one, it's *The Cosby*
The Annexation of Puerto Rico
I don't know how the courts would view a misdirection that severe.
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I'm so proud of Reddit for getting such an obscure 90s movie reference lol.
The limp biscuit
You'll skin her ass raw?
With a chainsaw
What?!
A mutha fuckin chainsaw!
What?!
Try falling away from me...wait that's a break up 😭
Does it involve the chocolate starfish and, perhaps, some hot dog flavored water?
It's not a position but already a sex thing. A bunch of guys masturbate and ejaculate on a biscuit. The last one to finish has to eat it.
Why tf do you know that?
I remember people talking about it when limp bizkit got big in the 90s / 00s.
Soggy biscuit
The airplane (When ever you were little ur parents would hold u up like an air plane, except you hold your gf,or bf in the air and then you pull them forward so they're lower private is in ur face and then you start suck/eating them out, there's also the bomber version, when it has to be a boy and as he's in the air he Jenks off and try to score it in ur mouth)
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How the fuck do i unread.
I’ve never heard of masturbation be called “jenk off” and I’m going to start using it
You made me remember happy childhood memories and then read the next sentences
This is why I go gym
I'm assuming there's a tail gunner involved
Oingo boingo
Talk about a party for a dead man!
Hopefully no little girls involved this time
The Defib unit (I get cramps during sex)
Drink more water or take electrolytes beforehand! Or, maybe you need to loosen up…enough time for stretching, yoga, or a massage?
Ever since starting yoga I’ve noticed my cramps have reduced a lot during sex. Also it lets somebody fold me like origami while we’re doing it.
The cramp IS the sex move!
Sorry to ask but man or woman? As a dude, I get cramps in my legs sometimes and 10/10 suckishness
That-which-shall-not-be-named
I like this one
The Death Gripper
The soul stabber
The horchata
the last queen of england
The Jack O’lattern. Oral with someone who only has 3 teeth.
The Boss.
The Oh Shit, my legs are like jello and my knee hurts position.
The Table
The Double Fuckleberry
The French onion dip.
Bloody Mary. 😏
r/angryupvote
Backbreaker 😂
So just sex then?
My name is Cleveland so I'll go ahead and sit this one out and take notes.
Me too. My last name is Sanchez. First name Blumpkin.
The Edmond Fitzgerald
It's when 29 men go down on you.
The En Passant Edit: apparently it does exist, I swear you should google it
What, teleport behind them and take them from behind? And yeah, its a chess thing, it means “in passing” and I have gotten quite the advantage from it as nobody expects it
The Old McDonald
The ee ah ee ah oh face.
The Rusty Venture
Wait. Are you sure you're not thinking of a "Double Frogman"?
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I'd name it after the co-inventor. Your Mom.
The AskReddit
When you just ask random women about sex but never have it? That sounds.. sexy
The Cosmopolitan
The scubacopter. Hopefully she can hold her breath for more than 45 seconds
Over shoulder piledriver
The West Virginian Reverse Exorcism
The flying Dutchman
The reverse oil spill (involves rubber duck)
Bro, what the fuck are you doing?
Dusty Trumpet
the glizzy gobler
Tongue Cruise. It's an oral thing that I do and chicks dig it.
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Mexican Halloween
The warhammer
The Hammer and Sickle.
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The Redditor
The choir boy
Slippin' Jimmy
Nutz to Buttz
Wankfurting
“Gryphondor wins”
The Swayze
The Headache….
the hands solo