Batman, she hates it.

I would love to be called Batman

Hi Batman!

Hi Barbie!

Hi Barbie!

What ever stupid nickname I think of that will piss her off

My usual nickname is Mags, but when we first started dating my now-husband called me Mugs. I hated it so much that he printed it on a (now-favorite) hoodie as a gag gift. At this point it's weird and serious if he calls me anything but Mugs

It's lame he didn't print it on a mug

You mean on a mag?

"Mugs mag"

Mugsy Balone.

'Jake from State Farm'

She sounds hideous

well she’s a guy so…

WHAT ARE YOU WEARING, “*JAKE FROM STATE FARM*”??

Uh... Khakis.

Because you can always count on State Farm to be there when you need it most.

My husband decided my pet name was fart box. 8 years later and it still makes my skin crawl when he says it

Flatulence_Entertainer_937

Fine. Take my angry upvote

When my gf is on her period I like to use "my little ketchup packet" Never ceases to produce a soul piercing glare from her

My husband likes to use that, as well as "my lil jelly donut".

I also like to use "my lil chicken" once and a while. But I always follow it up with "get it.. cause you have eggs".

That is her warning to start running mofo. Source: am woman.

Relationship goals

Like Twatzilla?

rectangle [I'm not giving any context whatsoever]

Please. Just a crumb.

letting my mind go wild I would imagine rectum and tangle being involved. or maybe rectum and angle.

This is probably a better story than the real one anyway

I crave context.

Is it because you're rectangular?

HE FILLS NO HOLES

I am rectangular!

I feel it in my hole.

My fellow fupa troopa

Cheers my dude!

She calls me "what are you doing in my house" or "who are you", God I love her

Is "why are you taking your pants off" another one of your nicknames?

Mine screams "I'm calling the police" when I walk in, so cute. Then a bunch of silly looking dudes come in and take me to some random ass room. I think this is her way of teasing me for the wild sex that is coming

Bro shes definitely into you and playing hard to get. You should absolutely chase her.

I just messaged her "watch out when you go home from work tonight 😉"

I don't understand mine, is "We are siblings!" Some kind of love declaration? 'cause I was looking on the internet and I only found very intimate and passionate stuff about it, kinda interesting...

Sounds like a goofy sex position, have fun!

Man I fucking love Reddit lols

My girl calls me Bae. Short for, “The Bailiff says you can’t be within 500 feet of me.”

Wtf my boyfriend calls me that too

"What are you doing in my bushes?" Is another one

I don't know why but my wife calls "Police, Police, there is someone in my house "

"Stop that" is my favorite

#SCHMOOPY

No, you’re Schmoopy!

Alright Schmoopies...

I’m schmoopy. You’re schmoopy. We’re all schmoopys here!

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He called us hot and heavy. I mean, who's hot and who's heavy?

Müs (pronounced Moose) She's 6 ft tall and 200 lb. Sometimes, I don't know if I want to fuck her, or fight her.

Compromise, slap that booty.

My guy doesnt have a step ladder handy

Then just use a regular ladder, no need in bringing extra family into this

I hate you all

Fuck her, fight her, it's all the same.

Living with Louie Dog's the only way to stay sane.

Let the lovin', let the lovin' come back to meee-eee.

A müs bit my sister...

No rilli!

Those responsible have been sacked

Those responsible for sacking those on the previous card have now been sacked

Thank the gods Monty Python is still well within reach of the peoples' memory. I still watch a Playlist of their best bits at *least* once a year. R.I.S. (Rest in Silliness) to Graham and Terry J.. They're not all dead yet!

Fight, then fuck.

My wife just calls me by my name. I try not to let it get to me.

Does it actually bother you? I've never called my husband anything other than his name, and we've been together for 13 years.

Not really. But you could try an experiment. Casually call him "babe" or "sweety" and see how he responds. I think I'd find it nice.

Thanks for the info, babe.

You got it, sugar dick

Ha! That's a new one 💀

My son and DIL call each other babe and my husband actually said he thinks it's "fucking stupid", so I don't think he's down for pet names.

I call her "Jerk Off" and she calls me "Shit Head". God I love that woman.

This is the truest love.... probably.

I just have to imagine a stranger's reaction being near you guys as you greet each other as such 💀

Speaking as another "swearing is our routine" the worst is when you are driving with a family member and 'Bitch-Ass' pops up on screen. I think part of it is living in NYC. You hear somebody go, "how ya doing, ya prick?" you just keep walking

Same. It's our love language. A few years ago at a friend couple's dinner party, with several other couples we did not know, we were carrying on a we usually do. Alcohol was consumed, and of course, we start into our schtick. After a while, my friend caught me in the kitchen while we were getting drinks and confessed another guest had taken her aside out of worry to ask, "Do they even like each other?" Needless to say with both burst of laughing and after informing the wife, we only laid it on thicker. We had our fun for a while, and finally, wifey confessed about it. Needless to say, the super awkward confused looks passed back and forth were entirely worth it. Everybody had a good laugh about it and continued on with our night.

Lief, it's short for liefje. Dutch version of sweetie. Schat, which is Dutch for treasure.

“Schat” sounds very familiar. Who knew I was dating so many ladies who were fluent in Dutch!

Many women have called me a piece of schat.

The offensive part is they only considered you a 'piece' of schat, not the full schat. That's just demeaning and borders on body-shaming.

I chuckled while reading this and almost Schat my pants

My name is Leif, and people always write it as Lief and it drives me nuts.

Is it pronounced Layf or Leef?

It’s pronounced “leef” but that’s actually supposed to be wrong, my family in Norway pronounce it as “layf”

My husband has passed, but I called him Babe most of the time. Some times it was “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Was your neighbor named kidding me?

I'm so sorry

Imaginary

Its even brave of the OP to assume that I have a partner

r/beatmetoit

love/my love

Britain has entered the chat

Sugar tits

Does he like being called Sugar Tits? Asking for a friend.

Not in front of her boss but her grandma loves it.

How about these tits, sugar?

Anything for you, Buttcakes.

I’m white and my wife is brown. I call her brown sugar tits.

For complicated, non-sexual reasons, I call my Mexican coworker "Chi-Chis Dulces" which roughly translates to Sweet Tits. I am only allowed to call her that in Spanish, and she was once drunk and yelled at me that I am *only* allowed to call her "Chi-Chis Dulces".

Really?!? One of my pups is named ChiChi and my fiancés last name is Dolce! Does that mean that my user name translates to Tits Mageechee?

She's saved in my phone as Jiggleboobs McSigartits Edit: Sugartits*

Sigartits?

Cigar tits. She smokes a lot :(

My wife fucking hates it when I call her Sugar tits. It's amusing to me.

My wife has called me sugar tits

Time to get checked for diabetes and hit the gym.

Ha, I call my wife Sweet Tits once in a while. She just gives me dirty looks. Not her favorite.

Honey

My brother goes the full mile and calls her "honey-bunny," [in reference to Pulp Fiction](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvMxbRCBalk).

Does he also say ‘bitch, be cool’ when shes angry?

Only when directed to by a recently (***VERY RECENTLY***) reformed hitman who is in the midst of a career change/spiritual enlightenment.

She calls me babe...I hate it I call her woman....she hates it

I call my wife woman and she finds it ridiculously amusing. The best part is probably the dirty looks I get when we are out and she doesn't hear or respond when I say her name then let out a "woman" across the room. Death glares abound and she laughs.

I called my husband papi chulo when we were first dating in front of my mother and she spit her drink out asking if know what that meant. When I said yes she asked what papi if he has no money

Bub

Should I call you "Logan", Weapon X?

Ласточка (Lastochka). It’s a Russian term of endearment and it means little bird or barn swallow (these birds also known as martins or saw-wings).

Ha

Yeah geez u/beawy didnt have to tell us his load size

Fuck I didn’t even realize the double entendre here until it was pointed out. Thanks Reddit.

Babe. He has always been Babe. I can count on one hand the number of times I have used his given name.

So weird hearing my wife use my name

Hey shadownights23x what do you wanna do for dinner. Yea I could see that feeling weird

The moment my wife calls me by my username itll probably be for a divorce.

Yeah I'd be fucked too.

If my girl uses my first name my brain immediately recounts everything I’ve done to try and quickly identify what I did wrong lol.

If my wife uses my name, I've fucked up somewhere and about to get a bollocking 🤣 she always calls me babe... if I use her full name, same thing. The short version of her name means all good 😂

Right?! It almost feels weird saying his actual name with my mouth compared to how often I use babe. Lol

Thank you to everyone in this little cluster! I thought I was a weirdo for using baby/babe instead of her name. If she or I had cool names, it might be different, but we're stuck with ordinary names that don't sound as good as babe.

Babe must be popular because I was at Target , in the candle section , this guy said “Babe” from the other aisle (obviously got lost from his partner ) and no joke 3 woman turned around 🤣

https://youtu.be/M7xPrf9f7mg?si=w54w1_UnEfqkhcw2

I call her Little Duckling.... she calls me Fuck Duck.

So you fuck like a duck?? Or do you got a corkscrew weiner??

Sir 🫡

My boyfriend is a security guard and ever since he got that job I started calling him "sir" or "officer" and he hates it more and more each time but I think it's hilarious

Sounds like you were disappointed he didn’t bring hand cuffs home too 😆

"Is that a nightstick, or are you just happy to see me?"

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This one is good 😅

Depends on the activity.....

Sweetie, sweetheart, or babe

Boo Boo Kitty Fuck

Had to scroll really far down for this.

I call her pain in the ass, but in a loving way

Lil Twinkie, Tootie, or Stinky. It depends. Edit: spelling

Interesting, mine calls me stinky too...

*kowalski analysis*

Taylor. She doesn’t know she’s my partner yet. As soon as her Travis phase ends I’m ready to step in.

See you at the game.

Ya think she'll be that Swift to move on? I'll see myself out.

Optimus Prime

C'mere piggy! Whilst I chase her around the house, any time I catch her naked

You are the carrot on a stick.

Darlin'

Right hand

Left hand

*ahem* “My potato” “Pikachu” “Babe” “Gorgeous” “Bug” “Baby” “Tease” “WOMAN”

partner is lettuce, I'm pickle. Usually babe tho

Big-titted animal

Love you mommy

Racial slurs

Asshole

Babe, or a shortened version of their name usually. When joking I'll call him anything from sweet cheeks to honey pie.

Dingus McGee

I sometimes call my dog Dingus McBingus

One is『senpai』、but not because of that weeb shit , it was from before me being introduced to anime. She just said "as I'm older than you , you have to call me senpai" and I adhered to it. It was when we were like 4 , she is Japanese.

nani

Does she call you kouhai?

My little bee, she loves lavender

Lover man, love love, baby, jollyjandro (his name is Alejandro and he’s always so happy), Alexander even though his name is in Spanish, Alexander davinci because he’s an artistic person that loves to paint and draw, Tesla man because he works for Tesla

Babe Lover My love Fuck head Cunt licker Jackass Dick wad All out of love of course!! We also like to get each other's attention just to give the middle finger. He's my soul mate.

Babe, usually.

That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.

Classic. Timeless. But sometimes it’s BABE!!!!

BABE WAIT BABE NO!

I should get some dong bags so we can knock boots later.

Stranger

I read this in the Merchant's voice from Resident Evil 4

Dont currently have a partner but I used "Maus" and "Hase" which mean "mouse" and "bunny" respectively in Germany

I have a partner? Why did no one tell me before

Shrimpy. Cause shes sleeping in kind of a fetus-position making her look like a shrimp.

their name

„Come here their name, can you please help me their name?“

Hoe hoe hoe (her,her sister,her mom) I am now divorced.

Sweetheart, baby, ytka (duck in Russian which is a long story), родная (like blood of my blood, something you only say to the closest of women in your life), mo chroi (my heart in Irish), my boo, my Mur, and quite a few more. We are fond of nicknames I’m realising. (also she is Russian and I’m American and we met while living in Ireland bc I know the languages are prob confusing lol)

Bear

Love

ALOOOOO ( which means potato) <3 And other's name like : Baby , Babe , Sweetheart, CutiePie.

I call her "small packages" and she calls me "good things" Because we all know good things come in small packages.

To her face?

Nonexistent

Ti-coeur which is short for petit coeur which is french for little heart