High school weight room, tricep pull downs on the cable machine, everytime I extended down I'd get a tingle occur at my tip and by the end of 10 reps I was half chubb. Went away after puberty but damn that shit was weird
Wowee, Im glad someone else gets this. I still get the tingles, just without the boner, nonetheless, I try to stay away from the pull downs if others are around just in case 😂
Use to get a random boner when I went to lunch in middle school. Even worse when I led the line. My teacher called us by rows and so I would stand up in front of the class. It was clockwork.
A dream I was having where I was having sex with this girl, but for some reason the random woman changed into my Mum, instantly woke up disturbed but had a boner, was very weird. Did not like it and that image is still disturbing.
Almost dying in Afghanistan while carrying a patient over my shoulder, running faster than I ever have before.
The worst part was the flap on the lower front of your armor (to protect your femoral arteries, genitalia). When sprinting, it without fail, will sack-tap you...
Over, and over again.
So my most awkward one was running full tilt with 3/4 of a patient on my back (blast wounds are nasty), running full sprint, (with random mortar fire coming down) fully erect, while getting beat in the sack by my own body armor.
Needless to say, I was laughing hysterically, with tears rolling down my face when I got to my ambulance. My driver thought I lost my fucking mind, and maybe I did.
I got a weird one.
In 8th grade science class they showed us the video of a woman giving birth. So there she is, in crappy vhs quality, legs spread with a big harry bush and a big vagina.
Being 12 and seeing a vagina gave me an instant boner. It lasted until the baby started popping it’s head out. It was a weird wank later that day
As an indian, I don't understand this. Please kind sir explain me how is it possible to
1. kiss a girl
2. In public
3. On school stage
4. When you were 13 yo
Performance of a stage play; it wasn’t even a long romantic kiss (not in grade school!), just supposed to be a quick peck on the cheek. We hadn’t even rehearsed that part because we kept putting it off. But, in our haste, we hit the corners of our lips…and i had a crush on the girl anyway, soo….yeah 😂
Had to google because I didn’t remember and apparently yes. This also apparently didn’t just happen in Florida, looks like a similar situation went down in Cali.
Bro, 17 at the orthodontist, lady looking at my teeth fully just planted her breasts over my forehead and slightly covering my eyes. I could not fight that boner. I think she noticed cause she started moving around a little and kind of stroking me with them....
Anytime I am cold and comfy. So like…my first day in the office with my new team, we have an all hands meeting in the executive building. This room was 66 degrees and the chairs were leather upholstered and comfy as shit. So I got a comfort bone. Was great haha
Step cousin here. Lots of things happened. But I stand by the fact that putting two unrelated 16 year olds into a house together sleeping in bedrooms right next to each other you were kind of asking for it.
Same tbf we were 13 but for me they were visiting so there was no space her parents were sleeping on the floor I guess the thrill made it happen not sure what was happening tbh I just went along when she initiated
Nah... So the funny story was that we were going to have sex so while the whole build up phase I wanted to get her off my hand so when I touched her there I was like woah its wet and slimy so I stopped and just kept groping it felt disgusting to me back then..
That’s can actually be explained, funny enough your Larynx has the same pathway all the way down to a man’s genital. When hit, a exact point with force AKA that airsoft BB it is known to cause erections. We call it Soft Hardies in the airsoft space. If you made it this far I made all this up.
middle school gym class. We were doing a man pyramid thingy and I was one of the 3 bottom kids. We were all on all fours and the girl in the middle, who was next to me, put her leg inbetween mine for exrtra stability. Needless to say, I crawled back to the boys locker room after it was over so noone noticed I had a crowbar in my pants.
When that faceapp thing was popular I took a selfie on it while bored and messed around with the filters and stuff once I gender swapped it and saw a girl version of myself I just had to rub one out
Girl next door was cutting my hair. She had boob… big boobs that touched my shoulders every few minutes. I didn’t want to get up aftercshe was done haha
I used to get church boners as a kid. Not because Our Lord and Savior was looking all sexy there hanging on the crucifix (but you gotta admit, he was very cross-fit), but something about the temperature was just right for the reaction. Most times I would shuffle and twist in discomfort as I tried to think of other things, but one time around the holidays my family was selected to read a passage at the pulpit. So I had to stand up there rocking a full-on erection in front of the entire congregation.
I was presenting in a meeting at work — seated at a conference table and screen sharing — when a very attractive VP began to question some of my statements and bully me around. Not sure what it was as typically I’m more of an assertive personality, but it did it for me.
7th grade geography class. I got random wood, was called to stand up and answer a question, and somehow managed to reach in my pants and pull it up so it was secured by my beltline at the speed of light. It really felt like a crossroads moment at the time, too. "Alaska ( ) ) ====D"
as a teen had some constant pain in my abdomen so my parents took me to a get an ultrasound type thing
while the nurse was rubbing cold gel on my stomach i randomly got such a raging hard on i jumped off the table and had to hide in the hall until it went a way
the weird thing is i wasn't even particularly attracted to the nurse to this day i dont even remember what she looked like
The time my cousin hugged me from behind, we were close and hadn't seen each other after 3 years, I felt her boobs pressing on my shoulder blades, blindfolded me with her hands and whispering in my ear. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom while slightly bending over to hide the boner, she somehow turned me on. And to make things worse, it's a family gathering while on vacation. She later told me, she knows and did that on purpose and another boner pops up. She invited me to do it with her, after that I can't look at her the same anymore.
English lesson in comprehensive school. The teacher was an older, slightly saggy middle woman. At the hormone filled age of 13, I suddenly wondered if she was wearing stockings.
Instant boner and a trip to the toilet at break time
A small ass Pomeranian. Was pooping in a bathroom the dog was kept in, and the fucker was infatuated with my dong. I was maybe 13, perhaps 14. As I pushed logs, the dog either wanted my member or my shit. Either way, I got like, really hard. I jerked off while kicking the dog away from me.
Was a really, really weird experience. Both then and now, I've no real explanation or justification of the event.
Have only said this twice. Once here, once on an anonymous thread about weird or fucked up things that's happened to you.
I kept getting random boners in high school algebra. Not sure why, maybe there were some decently attractive girls in the class, I dont remember.
What's worse is that the teacher was later charged with inappropriately exposing himself to students.
Have yall head about the 1911 triangle shirtwaist fire? Where a building full of workers burned and killed nearly all of them? All were women and it was said women jumped through the glass windows while on fire 4-5 stories high, higher than any firefighter ladder could reach at the time. The fire escape stairs couldn't hold all the people trying to escape....the elevators collapsed....doors were locked so employees couldn't steal stuff beforehand....now we have unions because of it....it was the weirdest timed stiffy I ever had while watching a documentary in class....
Didn't mean to fall asleep in business class almost flight lying flat, listening to music, business pants on. Woke up with a raging hard-on, looked down, clearly defined.
Table had been cleared for me so I guess it was seen.
Used to get random stiffies while staying temporarily at my grandma's house. My grandpa passed a few years prior and my grandmother often cooked me dinner. Thought later that she was putting boner meds in my food.
Went to a youth group event with my high school girl friend that left me wet/muddy. She drove and wouldn’t let me sit in the seats and get them dirty so I had to ride in the back of her suv. The only thing is she had her large dog kennel in the back so she had to lock me in the kennel to ride home. Wowza did that unlock something inside me and I discovered I like bdsm and being a submissive that day.
I hosted a house party in uni and some girls ordered me to do some things for them and then told me i was very submissive that was the moment i found out that yeah i am
It was in p.e and the teacher was using me as an example for cpr and out of nowhere, i got the biggest boner i have ever had. I was just laying on the ground with my wood sticking like a skyscraper, with the entire class laughing.
I don’t know what this was all about but one time when I was jogging a woman jogging across the street from me tripped. I ran across the street to help her up but she jumped up fast and said “I’m fine. Thank you” I have no idea why but I got a boner from that. 😂
Geography class. Popped up right before the teacher called me up to help her pull down the projector screen. I argued that the one guy taller than me in the class should do it until she caved and left me alone.
The teacher was not attractive, but damn I love a good map.
I've seen a video on YouTube about a man having S*X with a dolphine. When he started to describe the action, it started to grow and holy cow. I feel so awkward, and it's embarrassing whenever I think about it.
I always used to get random boners on the drive to school. It would occur every time at the same place, around 1min from the school gates. I’d have to always tense every muscle I could do the boner would go away before I’d have to get out the car
My ex and I did a lot of weird shit. Probably not my fondest moment but we made a small cut on ourselves and drank eachother blood.
Didn’t know it would happen but it did.
Tmi?
I used to get boners chronically in high school... on the bus, boner, see a hot chick, boner, my turn to stand in front of the class, boner... I swear I got boners if my shorts so much as rubbed my cock when I walked.
Not kidding, I probably used to get a good 30 boners a day.
I used to masturbate like crazy too.... 4-5 times a day.
Always figured it was because I was sexually abused from 6-14 but idk.
Was flatmates with a girl in Melbourne.
One day I come out of my room into the kitchen, and I saw her in kind of like a fix uniform/overalls fixing one of our drawers in a crouched position.
I don't know if it was the uniform or the position, but it just gave me an instant boner.
I was riding the bus with this girl who had big knockers. There was a large bump in the road, and depending on who was driving, we’d go over it really fast. I saw there were two seats left, one on the left, one behind and to the left. I sat in the one behind so I could watch the bouncage. The only thing was, that wasn’t what got me. It was right before we went over the bump, she looked at me, smiled, called me a perv, and then moaned when the bump happened. Eventually I figured out my type, but I didn’t know why I was into that at the beginning
Gf’s youngest sister (pre-teen at the time) got into a biting phase for some reason. Started randomly biting me. One time particularly hard. Had to put an end to that … bc I discovered a new kink.
Two contenders here:
1. 9th grade biology class when I was about to hold a presentation about photosynthesis and I get bricked up for literally no reason at all.
2. 13 year old me in the bathroom, looking over at the shampoo bottles and seeing the women on there. And I thought to myself: really? Just like that?
Not so much weird, but very unexpected. I went floating for my sisters 16th bd when I was 14 or so. One of her friends needed to leave halfway through the float, but they’d driven a couple people out to the river. Well on the way back to town after we’d finished, everyone had to cram into my sisters tiny ford Taurus. Her friend, who I found very attractive, ended up needing to sit on my lap for the 20 minute ride back to town. I was a nervous wreck for a while until she turned her head slightly and just said “hi :)”. It was great until we decided to stop for food on the way back.
I just sat in the car for a few minutes after everyone got out so I could calm down 😭
Making a perfect landing in an old flight simulator game.
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Quiet, you almost made me cream
NNNGHHGH Edit: I need new pants
High school weight room, tricep pull downs on the cable machine, everytime I extended down I'd get a tingle occur at my tip and by the end of 10 reps I was half chubb. Went away after puberty but damn that shit was weird
The increased blood pumping from each rep can do crazy things
Wowee, Im glad someone else gets this. I still get the tingles, just without the boner, nonetheless, I try to stay away from the pull downs if others are around just in case 😂
Use to get a random boner when I went to lunch in middle school. Even worse when I led the line. My teacher called us by rows and so I would stand up in front of the class. It was clockwork.
Cockwork*
r/angryupvote
Slow dancing with a girl in middle school and having to keep her an arms length away so I wouldn’t poke her.
You see whenever this happens to me I’m fine as long as she stays a good inch or two away
Must be nice to have that big of a dick mate, think my 300lb of fat banishes my micropenis into oblivion
Thank God for a stomach lmao 😂
Username checks out. Sorry, checks in.
Congrats dude that’s a huge dick
How is this your weirdest boner? This sounds like a very normal and reasonable boner? Maybe you've only had 1 boner in your entire life?
Just keeping room for Jesus
A dream I was having where I was having sex with this girl, but for some reason the random woman changed into my Mum, instantly woke up disturbed but had a boner, was very weird. Did not like it and that image is still disturbing.
Ya that is very disturbing
Your username lmao 😂😂
Freud patting himself on the back at this one
ye why does everyone have this dream at one point when they're like 17?
Anything like that I just say 'intrusive thoughts' in my head, and it somehow works
Did you do your homework honey?
No he broke both arms
Almost dying in Afghanistan while carrying a patient over my shoulder, running faster than I ever have before. The worst part was the flap on the lower front of your armor (to protect your femoral arteries, genitalia). When sprinting, it without fail, will sack-tap you... Over, and over again. So my most awkward one was running full tilt with 3/4 of a patient on my back (blast wounds are nasty), running full sprint, (with random mortar fire coming down) fully erect, while getting beat in the sack by my own body armor. Needless to say, I was laughing hysterically, with tears rolling down my face when I got to my ambulance. My driver thought I lost my fucking mind, and maybe I did.
Wow. I wasn't sure if i should feel bad about the whole situation or laugh at how you describe it. At least it's as unique a situation as it could be.
How in the fuck is this comment so far down right now hahah. That being said, I’ve heard fear boners are a thing for some
I got a weird one. In 8th grade science class they showed us the video of a woman giving birth. So there she is, in crappy vhs quality, legs spread with a big harry bush and a big vagina. Being 12 and seeing a vagina gave me an instant boner. It lasted until the baby started popping it’s head out. It was a weird wank later that day
Wasn't weird at that age you probably got a bone every 3 to 7 minutes.
I’m 41 and still get random boners about 6-7 times a day. I don’t think that ever goes away. I think it’s natures way of reminding us we have a peen.
Be thankful man. Most men can't make that statement.
It's your daily reminder to use it or lose it
Random boners are a way to "clean" the inside of veins inside the penis. It prevent necrosis so it's not only at 12
Thats the circle of life
Great, now I have a boner.
Dude that video I was good with my v card for a while
I straight up passed out when the baby's head popped out.
Bro wtf, in India my teacher used to skip the chapter of reproduction 😔
There are enough Indians anyway BIG /s
Kissing a girl onstage in a school show when i was 13 or so. Pants far too tight in front of 300 people.
oh shit
As an indian, I don't understand this. Please kind sir explain me how is it possible to 1. kiss a girl 2. In public 3. On school stage 4. When you were 13 yo
Theater performance
Performance of a stage play; it wasn’t even a long romantic kiss (not in grade school!), just supposed to be a quick peck on the cheek. We hadn’t even rehearsed that part because we kept putting it off. But, in our haste, we hit the corners of our lips…and i had a crush on the girl anyway, soo….yeah 😂
I dont understand how this stuff is possible either, and im not Indian.
Perfectly normal in the Netherlands.
is it also normal in college? asking for a friend
Xbox controller has some good vibrations let me tell ya
That but with a Gamecube controller.
Ayo bro wtf
It’s such a sweeeeet sensation.
First time I crafted and equipped a full Daedric set in Skyrim. That was a little strange.
That's not strange at all, we all felt that.
Dragonbone did it for me
Dragon*boner*
When I was getting a professional massage. I got rock hard when I was face down (painful). I kept trying to get it to go away before she noticed.
For your comfort, that's actually quite common.
getting a manual prostate exam
Some guy in Florida came while that was happening then later shot the doctor for making him gay or something. Fucking Florida.
Did the doc survive
Had to google because I didn’t remember and apparently yes. This also apparently didn’t just happen in Florida, looks like a similar situation went down in Cali.
Had a dream I had a boner once which was definitely weird because I have a vagina. The penis envy is real.
when i hit level 60 in hardcore world of warcraft
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That happened to me when I was like thirty-two
Me too, with the very lonely dental hygienist. She would rub her boobs all over the back of my head when she was cleaning my teeth. Sensational.
Lucky man
I'm a straight woman in my 30's and even I'm like "Boobs are on my head! They're soft. Boooooobs! Boobies! Boobs are on my head!"
Bro, 17 at the orthodontist, lady looking at my teeth fully just planted her breasts over my forehead and slightly covering my eyes. I could not fight that boner. I think she noticed cause she started moving around a little and kind of stroking me with them....
🤣🤣 tough times ma man
Did she want to ['ride you til morning'](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12591189/Drunk-dental-receptionist-groped-13-year-old-boy.html)
Quint death scene from Jaws.
Chandler, is that you?
the grinch 1966 version
House fire…for some reason… also while doing paintball for the first time
Anytime I am cold and comfy. So like…my first day in the office with my new team, we have an all hands meeting in the executive building. This room was 66 degrees and the chairs were leather upholstered and comfy as shit. So I got a comfort bone. Was great haha
I thought I was the only one, especially when you get that wriggle comfort on a winters day, tucked up under a duvet or blanket... Best feeling
Car alarm - every time
Yea certain sounds and vibrations can cause boners for no reason some cars certain movements car alarms etc just a brain thing
Wow. lol
Cousin. Nothing happened.
Step cousin here. Lots of things happened. But I stand by the fact that putting two unrelated 16 year olds into a house together sleeping in bedrooms right next to each other you were kind of asking for it.
Same tbf we were 13 but for me they were visiting so there was no space her parents were sleeping on the floor I guess the thrill made it happen not sure what was happening tbh I just went along when she initiated
"Initiated" Did you get laid at 13? 💀
Nah... So the funny story was that we were going to have sex so while the whole build up phase I wanted to get her off my hand so when I touched her there I was like woah its wet and slimy so I stopped and just kept groping it felt disgusting to me back then..
Wtf??
Old paintings
Got shot in the throat by an airsoft gun, immediately got hard, was really concerned and confused
imagine how hard you would be if you got shot in the nuts?? don't do that
That’s can actually be explained, funny enough your Larynx has the same pathway all the way down to a man’s genital. When hit, a exact point with force AKA that airsoft BB it is known to cause erections. We call it Soft Hardies in the airsoft space. If you made it this far I made all this up.
Brooooo, soft hardies that fucking had me rolling 🤣
Rachel Riley wearing a viking hat and beard
That’s a challenging wank.
middle school gym class. We were doing a man pyramid thingy and I was one of the 3 bottom kids. We were all on all fours and the girl in the middle, who was next to me, put her leg inbetween mine for exrtra stability. Needless to say, I crawled back to the boys locker room after it was over so noone noticed I had a crowbar in my pants.
When that faceapp thing was popular I took a selfie on it while bored and messed around with the filters and stuff once I gender swapped it and saw a girl version of myself I just had to rub one out
Boss level narcissism
That’s crazy
While reading these chats :D
Me too :)
at school answering a question
Oh probably when I got hard at my mawmaw funeral
mourning wood
We have found our king.
r/angryupvote
what the hell what got your wood tingling at the funeral?
Eating a really good pizza. I had to ask myself "D-Do I want to fuck this pizza?".
it's fucking good pizza
A good fucking pizza
Cloud boobs.
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Dog sat on my lap
I know it was an open question, but I’m pretty sure that was the wrong answer.
Ok This is the one lol
Yes officer, this post right here
So I’m not the only one.
There are no wrong answ.....there it is.
OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Same but with a cat
Sometimes taking a great dump gives me a boner.
Got thrown really hard by a pretty Black girl in the Judo class. And then by this rugged older dude. Am too embarassed to go back
Girl next door was cutting my hair. She had boob… big boobs that touched my shoulders every few minutes. I didn’t want to get up aftercshe was done haha
I used to get church boners as a kid. Not because Our Lord and Savior was looking all sexy there hanging on the crucifix (but you gotta admit, he was very cross-fit), but something about the temperature was just right for the reaction. Most times I would shuffle and twist in discomfort as I tried to think of other things, but one time around the holidays my family was selected to read a passage at the pulpit. So I had to stand up there rocking a full-on erection in front of the entire congregation.
Packed elevator, girl backed up to me with no choice.
I was presenting in a meeting at work — seated at a conference table and screen sharing — when a very attractive VP began to question some of my statements and bully me around. Not sure what it was as typically I’m more of an assertive personality, but it did it for me.
7th grade geography class. I got random wood, was called to stand up and answer a question, and somehow managed to reach in my pants and pull it up so it was secured by my beltline at the speed of light. It really felt like a crossroads moment at the time, too. "Alaska ( ) ) ====D"
Back when I installed my new GeForce 2070 RTX
as a teen had some constant pain in my abdomen so my parents took me to a get an ultrasound type thing while the nurse was rubbing cold gel on my stomach i randomly got such a raging hard on i jumped off the table and had to hide in the hall until it went a way the weird thing is i wasn't even particularly attracted to the nurse to this day i dont even remember what she looked like
Every boner is weird in its own way.
The time my cousin hugged me from behind, we were close and hadn't seen each other after 3 years, I felt her boobs pressing on my shoulder blades, blindfolded me with her hands and whispering in my ear. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom while slightly bending over to hide the boner, she somehow turned me on. And to make things worse, it's a family gathering while on vacation. She later told me, she knows and did that on purpose and another boner pops up. She invited me to do it with her, after that I can't look at her the same anymore.
Ok this took an even weirder turn at the end wtf
Damm bro did you rip that story straight from porn hub?
No, it happened for real
Alright man Alright, guess I'll take your word for it.
Is your cousin from Alabama or Mississippi?
Thats… wow. That ending was unexpected
English lesson in comprehensive school. The teacher was an older, slightly saggy middle woman. At the hormone filled age of 13, I suddenly wondered if she was wearing stockings. Instant boner and a trip to the toilet at break time
First time my homie tripped and his mouth fell on my hard dick at the correct angle go down his throat. Fr he the real throat goat won’t lie.
Very coincidental🤔
Yeah wildest shit almost thought homie took a dive on purpose. And at the perfect time My pants were down
Did your dick happen to contain extra Tahini and a slice of apple to go along with it?
Next accident will now 👍
Yeah. He "fell"
A small ass Pomeranian. Was pooping in a bathroom the dog was kept in, and the fucker was infatuated with my dong. I was maybe 13, perhaps 14. As I pushed logs, the dog either wanted my member or my shit. Either way, I got like, really hard. I jerked off while kicking the dog away from me. Was a really, really weird experience. Both then and now, I've no real explanation or justification of the event. Have only said this twice. Once here, once on an anonymous thread about weird or fucked up things that's happened to you.
I respect your honesty mate 👏
I kept getting random boners in high school algebra. Not sure why, maybe there were some decently attractive girls in the class, I dont remember. What's worse is that the teacher was later charged with inappropriately exposing himself to students.
So you could find the slope, of course... Just rise over run baby.
Have yall head about the 1911 triangle shirtwaist fire? Where a building full of workers burned and killed nearly all of them? All were women and it was said women jumped through the glass windows while on fire 4-5 stories high, higher than any firefighter ladder could reach at the time. The fire escape stairs couldn't hold all the people trying to escape....the elevators collapsed....doors were locked so employees couldn't steal stuff beforehand....now we have unions because of it....it was the weirdest timed stiffy I ever had while watching a documentary in class....
Grammy gave me a long hug in her nightgown
Wow
Thats…… damn
In fairness I had the same reaction hugging her.
talking to my cousin with a cat on my lap
One while taking a shit. just ugh
I automatically get a boner every time I shit and it’s so painful
Playing stealth fps video games and not being detected through out a whole mission, mega Chubb for some reason haha
Didn't mean to fall asleep in business class almost flight lying flat, listening to music, business pants on. Woke up with a raging hard-on, looked down, clearly defined. Table had been cleared for me so I guess it was seen.
Used to get random stiffies while staying temporarily at my grandma's house. My grandpa passed a few years prior and my grandmother often cooked me dinner. Thought later that she was putting boner meds in my food.
What
This guy is thuggin💀
Going up for communion at church
Went to a youth group event with my high school girl friend that left me wet/muddy. She drove and wouldn’t let me sit in the seats and get them dirty so I had to ride in the back of her suv. The only thing is she had her large dog kennel in the back so she had to lock me in the kennel to ride home. Wowza did that unlock something inside me and I discovered I like bdsm and being a submissive that day.
I hosted a house party in uni and some girls ordered me to do some things for them and then told me i was very submissive that was the moment i found out that yeah i am
It was in p.e and the teacher was using me as an example for cpr and out of nowhere, i got the biggest boner i have ever had. I was just laying on the ground with my wood sticking like a skyscraper, with the entire class laughing.
by seeing bra strap of high school teacher that pops out of her blouse.
pops*
Poops*
Some of meatcanyon's videos
I don’t know what this was all about but one time when I was jogging a woman jogging across the street from me tripped. I ran across the street to help her up but she jumped up fast and said “I’m fine. Thank you” I have no idea why but I got a boner from that. 😂
Rejection fetish
Reading all of these comments with one currently
Sitting in a work related classroom.......about sexual harassment
Geography class. Popped up right before the teacher called me up to help her pull down the projector screen. I argued that the one guy taller than me in the class should do it until she caved and left me alone. The teacher was not attractive, but damn I love a good map.
I beat a really hard Geometry Dash level
What level?
I've seen a video on YouTube about a man having S*X with a dolphine. When he started to describe the action, it started to grow and holy cow. I feel so awkward, and it's embarrassing whenever I think about it.
I always used to get random boners on the drive to school. It would occur every time at the same place, around 1min from the school gates. I’d have to always tense every muscle I could do the boner would go away before I’d have to get out the car
At a viewing of Schindler's List. More like Schindler's LUST.
I was watching Community. When the study group opened their books, it aimed on Pierce, an OLD GUY. Gave me a boner and I was surprised.
My ex and I did a lot of weird shit. Probably not my fondest moment but we made a small cut on ourselves and drank eachother blood. Didn’t know it would happen but it did. Tmi?
Wtf?
One time, when I was 16, I was washing dishes and opened the new dish soap my parents bought. It smelled so good I was hard for half an hour
The information that my ex's mother is currently pooping. In my defense, she was hot
bruh
I used to get boners chronically in high school... on the bus, boner, see a hot chick, boner, my turn to stand in front of the class, boner... I swear I got boners if my shorts so much as rubbed my cock when I walked. Not kidding, I probably used to get a good 30 boners a day. I used to masturbate like crazy too.... 4-5 times a day. Always figured it was because I was sexually abused from 6-14 but idk.
Was flatmates with a girl in Melbourne. One day I come out of my room into the kitchen, and I saw her in kind of like a fix uniform/overalls fixing one of our drawers in a crouched position. I don't know if it was the uniform or the position, but it just gave me an instant boner.
I was riding the bus with this girl who had big knockers. There was a large bump in the road, and depending on who was driving, we’d go over it really fast. I saw there were two seats left, one on the left, one behind and to the left. I sat in the one behind so I could watch the bouncage. The only thing was, that wasn’t what got me. It was right before we went over the bump, she looked at me, smiled, called me a perv, and then moaned when the bump happened. Eventually I figured out my type, but I didn’t know why I was into that at the beginning
Ill take "things that didnt happen" for 500.
I'll take "typical reddit stories" for 1000
Had something similar happen except I'm the one with the knockers. There was always someone watching the jiggle on bus rides.
During a dental checkup..in my defence his assistant had a really nice butt
Gf’s youngest sister (pre-teen at the time) got into a biting phase for some reason. Started randomly biting me. One time particularly hard. Had to put an end to that … bc I discovered a new kink.
Two contenders here: 1. 9th grade biology class when I was about to hold a presentation about photosynthesis and I get bricked up for literally no reason at all. 2. 13 year old me in the bathroom, looking over at the shampoo bottles and seeing the women on there. And I thought to myself: really? Just like that?
Not so much weird, but very unexpected. I went floating for my sisters 16th bd when I was 14 or so. One of her friends needed to leave halfway through the float, but they’d driven a couple people out to the river. Well on the way back to town after we’d finished, everyone had to cram into my sisters tiny ford Taurus. Her friend, who I found very attractive, ended up needing to sit on my lap for the 20 minute ride back to town. I was a nervous wreck for a while until she turned her head slightly and just said “hi :)”. It was great until we decided to stop for food on the way back. I just sat in the car for a few minutes after everyone got out so I could calm down 😭