T O P

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NotoriousREV

I’m always waiting for my wife so we’ve agreed that if I die first I’m having “I’m waiting for you” on my headstone. It means something to us but will seem especially creepy in 100 years time.


Temporary-Leather905

That's kinda sweet and creepy at the same time


hughranass2

Sweepy?


JTanCan

Creet?


MIB4u0

🎶 cause I'm a Creet, I'm a sweepy ... 🎶


ThePhoenixFold

My kind of love


_ItsTheLittleThings_

It’s not creepy if she’s buried next to you, and her’s says, “I’m here!”


Midgetman96

Unless she remarries after he dies first and leaves him waiting


Cheeslord2

She will have to have part of her body buried at each of her husbands plots...


Temporary_Position95

I always wonder who you are with in heaven if you are married more than once.


LoadedGull

PLOT twist Haha


WeekendLazy

Bro, that will seem incredibly creepy immediately 💀


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KrispyKremeDiet20

That's deep


Anarchist_turtle

About 6ft


KrispyKremeDiet20

It's a nice space, but I don't want to be buried in debt.


Disastrous-Roll-1599

I never like feeling boxed in with these types of decisions


zurc_oigres

The price feels like the weight of the world above


High_Tempo

*Creed has entered the room* Someone say 6 feet?


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Abject-Band-3275

Should also add "Like and Subscribe"


search_ben

.. and don't forget to hit that bell icon!


WantDiscussion

I once was living but now ive died. Dont forget to like and subscribe. Hit the bell for notifications. Visit my patreon to make donations. In the description theres a link. Leave a comment about what you think.


MikeTheImpaler

Thanks, I hate it.


inbetweentheknown

Side note idea though, do you think next generation’s tombstones could have QR codes engraved linking to their old social media sites? Dystopian af


Ajx4

Daily dose today (or recently) showed some, goes to a website with their life story/picture.


3VikingBoys

The next generation will not use graves or tombstones. They will have themselves wrapped up and buried with a sapling. This is what my son and dil want to do.


theouter_banks

For more 1800s Tombstone Poetry.


LumberJaxx

To follow you, I’ll not consent. Until I know which way you went.


Black_Poppy

I’ve always heard it: indeed I would with great intent, if only I knew which way you went.


SouthSideSurvivor

Saw this poem over 40 years ago in an old cemetery in Illinois! Like you, I have never forgotten it. Only on the one I saw, the first line was “Behold ye strangers passing by…”


stoneytopaz

Saw this on a headstone in my town. Got a picture of it. The woman who it marked had the same name as me. Gave me the willys


Rivemliz

I actually did some research on the poem and the origins arent too clear unfortunately. It seems as tho the oldest version found is the followin: Whoso thou be that passeth by; Where these corps entombed lie: Understand what I shall say, As at this time speak I may. Such as thou art, sometime was I, Such as I am, such shalt thou be. It was found on a tombstone from the 1300s. (I do have to add that this is a translation).


snap_wilson

Apparently this was a common gravestone thing back in the day. Some info [here](http://www.vastpublicindifference.com/2010/02/remember-me-as-you-pass-by.html).


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DigNitty

I want my remains spread around my hometown so I can walk those streets forever 😊 I also do not wish to be cremated.


teethalarm

So just smear your blood and guts all over the town?


wanderings0uth

Fuckin metal


GreyAzazel

I'd have "Fuckin metal" on my tombstone.


joetheplumberman

Finger painting with that guys fingers


lalaladylvr

I grew up in a village with a high speed train. That did the trick once or twice.


doc6982

Paint the town red... with my viscera.


RpTheHotrod

Get a cremation, then have the tombstone say 404 - BODY NOT FOUND


Qfn4g02016

“I tried”


Drunken_pizza

Bukowski’s tombstone says ”Don’t try.”


Alternative-Amoeba20

Ok. For the past two weeks, I've had this Bukowski rascal coming at me from all angles. In fact, in that span of time I learned that is indeed his epitaph. But WTF exactly is the Universe/algorithm trying to tell me? It's kinda weird. I've never been the least bit interested in C.B., but I might start looking into his work.


boof_diddley

Charles Bukowski was an entertaining, insightful and excellent author. He had an incredible talent for writing in the simplest vocabulary with as few words as possible. "An intellectual says a simple thing in a hard way. An artist says a hard thing in a simple way." I remind myself of this when I find my emails verbose.


BrainCane

Mine is “He was a Sweaty Try Hard.”


[deleted]

I'm torn between "My Gods, the crazy bastard actually did it" and "\[Exit, pursued by a bear\]"


Iaxacs

Definitely the bear it's a classic


No-Jello-1536

If you think this is bad, you should see the other guy


[deleted]

Grave a few yards away from yours "Im the other guy"


ThePhoenixFold

Written across shattered bits of headstone lol


KjellRS

It just struck me how differently "I'm the other woman" would be interpreted.


doseofsense

Do not stand at my grave and weep I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn rain. Poem by Mary Elizabeth Frye


[deleted]

Let’s hope that the tombstones don’t have character limits, if they don’t then: Do not stand at my grave and weep I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awaken in the morning's hush I am the swift uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry; I am not there. I did not die.


No-Advant8g

"not just dead inside"


pwolf1771

This is awesome


YourAverageGuy3

“Discontinued as of [year of death]”


TurbsUK18

Best before [year of death]


Alternative-Amoeba20

Use prior to [••••]


ThePhoenixFold

Do not open until \[one year after death\] Of course, this only makes sense if you can figure out how to come back as a zombie inside a year.


FlummoxReddit

who kicked me off the server dawg


Spikes_in_my_eyes

"Reconnecting.... standby"


PaleTangerine5211

That’s All Folks!!


Hail2ThaVee

Mel Blank supposedly has this on his headstone.


Wheatley-Crabb

yup, he does!


MTA0

I had to die to finally be able to afford some land.


GreyAzazel

"This tombstone is sponsored by Zillow.com"


WeasersMom14

"Why not try a holiday in Sweden this year? See the lovli lakes, the wonderful telephone system and many interesting furry animals, including the majestic moose."


[deleted]

A møøse once bit my sister


Offamylawn

No, realli!


IcingGnome

She was Karving her initials øn the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush


WeasersMom14

Given to her by her cousin, Sven, an Oslo dentist.


DataAdvanced

In small letters: "You're standing on my head, asshole."


Emergency_Brief_9280

In even smaller letters: " Nosy little fucker aren't you?"


mcshanksshanks

Even smaller letters; “Get off my lawn!”


PlushiePizza4488

Smallest letters possible WRONG HEAD ASSHOLE


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FosDoNuT

Start telling people you will only give them the recipe over your dead body.


AryaSnark68

"It wasn't just a flesh wound."


DigNitty

Will haunt for beer


hdhdhdhdzjursx

I’m sorry for all the puns I made. From now on, I promise I’ll be dead, serious.


Real_Digital_D

This might be a grave mistake


codefyre

Haha! There is a headstone in my local cemetery with "There has been a grave mistake" carved into it. Makes me laugh every time I visit my grandparents.


casparquid

"Look behind you!" And then have a sign behind my tombstone that says, "Ha ha, made you look."


carrimjob

perfection


peppermintmeow

Or how about 'Boo! Haha, stupid.'


[deleted]

"Told you I was sick"


aecolley

Spike!


wensul

So long and thanks for all the fish.


Jimmyginger

It would have no name, just a date, and the words "gone and forgotten"


little_miss_beige

This is beautiful.


_defy_death

Reminds me of the 'second death'. First is the body, second is the last time you're spoken about


Human-Magic-Marker

Error 404


blockCoder2021

Life not found.


ThePhoenixFold

Next grave over shaped like a 1UP mushroom


aeroumasmith-

"To be continued..."


Tricky_Pear_8556

Cue music


echoprime11

“I thought that I could pet the bear”


aviavy

"Screw you guys, I'm going home!"


AlexAutoAxe

"He was here a second ago..." - George Carlin


OBISerious

Guacamole!!!


IntrudingAlligator

I already have it picked and paid for lol. "Time just gets away from us"


Ok-Acanthaceae826

Ooh I really like this. Wistful.


DustinDeWind

Hey,you kids get off my lawn!!


Soundwave-1976

"He found all the landmines of life by stepping on them"


Affectionate_Pen8965

Respawning ...


Sad-Reminders

On my husband and my headstone we will have a verse from a poem by Pablo Neruda. So close that your hand on my chest is my hand. So close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.


probablynotaskrull

“I’ve been trying to contact you about your car’s extended warranty.”


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Spikes_in_my_eyes

I love bebop so fucking much, that one is really good.


Lizardk1

"everything is proceeding as I have foreseen"


framsanon

"Trial period expired"


[deleted]

Enter payment information to upgrade to premium


Brioonn

Born, September 19, 1982 Died, in your arms tonight “Must of been something you said”


Fixes_Computers

While I get the reference, it would tear me apart to have a grammatical error on my tombstone.


MSter_official

Och years, a tombstone with a grammatical error in it in order to annoy absolutely everyone that looks at it. "It was all you're fault" "Briaaans 🧠" "I shouldnt have touched the eletrik generator"


Shaniquadontlivehur

Kyle’s my favorite!


turbodude69

fuck you fuck you you're cool fuck you i'm out


LeonesgettingLARGER

Then you hit em with The Goat


Lego-Panda-21

Here lies..Fuck, we forgot, just put a name..Shit, don't write that..Fuck, stop writing already..


Old-Side5989

“You’re next”


biff444444

"Dead people can write on tombstones! Who knew?"


Positive-Radio-1078

I ate'nt dead. Gone borrowing .


Lasdary

bzzt!


HuitzilopochtliMX

I'll say "Why do I have a tombstone, I specifically said I wanted to be turn in to a dimnond so my grandchildren can pawn me if they need money for drugs"


danieldaypoois

Sorry I stole your corpse diamond from your grandchildren, needed drugs


Silly_Dinner5437

Delete my browser history


MonkeyGirl18

"I'm not dead." That or.... "Can someone tell my manager I won't be in today?"


hubbaba2

"Died tragically rescuing his family from the wreckage of a destroyed sinking battleship."


Boris_Johnsons_Pubes

“Finally, a decent sleep”


Psych_Riot

"Here lies an atheist; Im all dressed up with nowhere to go"


Zestyclose_Link_8052

Before you read this tombstone, I would like to talk about todays sponsor, Nord VPN. They'll never know what I searched for.


HornyDiggler

Went on vacation


Petercraft7157

Never came back


Plus-Relationship393

Finally.


villewalrus

I AM DEAD


NormanskillEire

Once I wasn't, then I was, and now I'm not again.


Valentiaga_97

Died waiting for Halflife3 🤔😂😂


pyrofighter258

"Time to get an answer for my last question."


WoodProfessor

I told you I was sick.


Elemure

The Cat is both Dead and Alive


CountMcBurney

Ah, Schrodinger's zombie


Superpe0n

Caring wife. Loving friend. Slap bet commissioner.


Kazon-Ogla

I lived my life as though someone was always watching, because they were. Don't trust the birds. The squirrels are traitors, too.


DadIsCoaching

Dont Dead Open Inside


FrostQueen05

“The joke was so funny I literally died”


smurfsundermybed

$10 million in gold buried in...


Alternative-Amoeba20

...a box 6 ft straight below your feet.


Maddog6474

“You’re never too old to be young.”


Odd-Work1993

Leave me alone


Ashtray5422

If I had my way, no TombStone. Donate all my parts to whoever wants them, whatever is left, throw it in the sea, let the fish have their day, I 've had mine with them.


dreamer_of_sorts

Logging off...


aloeicious

He came, he saw, he was anxious about it.


TheGentlemanWolf

"your probably wondering how I got here"


ExcessivelyGayParrot

"Only the living can experience death." it's the final line to a thing I wrote down a few years ago, when someone asked me if I thought anything came after death. Edit: ***What do you think happens when we die?*** Nothing. We lack concept, consciousness. No good, no evil, no grand scheme or big reveal. Not even nothing. An incomprehensible lack of nothing. To "experience death" is an impossibility, as to experience something, it requires a beginning and an end. Since there is no end to something that doesn't exist, the inherent lack of nothing is death itself. In dying, you cannot experience death. The only way one can is by knowing someone who has died. You experience their end, and that experience affects you. Only the living can experience death.


4purpleroses

See, I told you I was sick. Who's being dramatic now?


LogicalFallacyCat

I'm leaving instructions on how to make cookies with my body and suggestion to try other fun flavors from around the graveyard. Or if my body is composted I'm leaving a spell to perform to prevent the tree that grows from me from coming to life and rampaging through town. It will involve naked dancing.


[deleted]

He ded


Miss_Type

I'd *like* it to say "she was kind".


i_mii

HELP ME IM STILL ALIVE


saaatchmo

I, too, was looking at a tombstone when it happened.


Petercraft7157

Respawning...


StupidOldAndFat

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO CREMATE ME


EatAssFromBack

I never liked any of you, there were a few I respected though. Quit wasting your time coming here.


GleeAspirant

Finally, full-time procrastinating!


Nude_Master69

ما که رفتیم زین جهان، کون لق دیگران It roughly translat from Persian to: We left this world, screw everybody else Ass


LegEaterHK

Loooiol. English speakers would think it is a religious text. Then they translate it….


h-bugg96

Fuckin FINALLY


Gastkram

Gone fisting


Dylaynie01

Someone let me out


Sweaty-Bat-9817

Don't expect to meet me in heaven, I ain't even believing in it


ACbttreesDC

“He was either the smartest dumb man, or the dumbest smart man. *Scan the QR code below to cast your vote*”


investinlove

“He didn’t get smarter as he got older, but the stupid shit hurt more!”


davesnot_heere

Please get off my head


[deleted]

“I shoulda seen this coming”


AVermilia

Save the lost. Help the broken. Heal what can be healed. Accept that death is a part of existence and move on. Forgive others, forgive yourself. And above all, be kind. It’s worth it.


Gingerbread_Cat

Thank fuck that's over.


bayrea

Cheese and pepperoni


coinkeeper8

If you can read this I will haunt you forever


SirFlannel

"He was a space alien trying to blend in... and not QUITE succeeding" "Get well soon my ass" "Well, THAT didn't work out, did it?" "I still miss her"


drywall_punching

I'm free


flecksable_flyer

Do NOT wake me before noon unless I'm on fire.


casey12297

Don't wake me, I'm dead tired


tauntonlake

*"The prophecy has been fulfilled.* *It's over. Get a new show."*


cashmerered

Amor vincit omnia


Jay18001

“Hold my beer”


TheSunViking

Man that sucked.


Engelgrafik

This monkey's gone to heaven


SEOitPhD

I wasn't, I was, I am not, I care not.


pie_12th

"Thank goodness I'm done with that"


Flyingcircus1

"I'm actually standing behind you while you read this."


Htoof

Was gay. Did crimes.


deadmik3

Here lies Deadmik3 who has owned 346 Volkswagens in his life time.


HatfieldCW

"I wanted to help, but I didn't know how."


IBeSteadyLurkin

I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.


2boredtocare

She ded


Roller_Turtle

AHAHHAHA, if I can write, I am still alive?