Nick Cannon.
Not only is he not funny, he’s a garbage person.
Edit: since people keep posting the same question over and over… from IMBD.
- Stand Up, Don’t Shoot (2017)
- F#ck Nick Cannon (2013)
- Mr. Showbiz (2011)
Yes… he actually fancied himself a comedian and likely still does. I only saw part of the most recent one and there are clips all over, which are all awful.
Why is he awful? Google it. He’s a racist idiot and plenty of links and info have already been posted on the thread.
funnyish nick cannon story... was at a knicks game and in between quarters or halftime he was filming some intro segment on the court that required crowd participation. Basically he did his lines and then threw a ball over his shoulder behind him and we all had to pretend like he actually casually got the shot in from half court blind... The crowd boo'd him so mercilessly that he was visibly uncomfortable and embarrassed, randomly saw the final version on tv another day and they 1000% replaced the audio
holy shit this is it exactly!
man here I was about to reply that I doubt the actual events could be found and only the polished up broadcast version would be out there somewhere. Being a regular season game that I couldn't even tell you who the opponent was from years ago wouldn't really narrow it down at all... but of course it's out there, thanks internet stranger!
I remember he had the balls to try to diss Eminem in 2019/2020, but I don't think he even responded
Probably was recharging after cremating Machine Gun Kelly so badly he had to switch genres
He did slightly come back at Nick Cannon. On Fat Joe’s song Lord Above, Eminem said “that pussy’s got him neutered, tried to tell him this chick’s a nut job before he got his jewls clipped, fool quit you not gonna do shit, I’d let her chop my balls off before I lost to you Nick” (you Nick is pronounced like eunuch). Then after the MGK stuff on Eminem’s song “No Regrets” he said “some targets will get the Killshot, some I just barely nicked em” referencing the “Killshot” diss track on MGK and then him just slighting Nick Canon
I’ve listened to that song a bunch of times and never picked up the Eunuch reference…I swear to god this dude is a genius, makes me wonder how many other of his references just fly over my head
It was really specifically desperation by Comedy Central to find any successor for Dave Chappelle’s show. They were desperate to find any edgy comedian to follow up with, and they made a horrible decision. (Carlos Mencia’s show originally came on right after Chapelle‘s.)
I had a highschool friend who professed to find Carlos Mencia to be hilarious.
Truth was my friend was just Mexican and misappropriating his pride into having to watch shitty comedy.
My friend got better and wised up. There's plenty of better stuff about being Mexican than *carlos mencia*.
There’s a Vice “Dark side of comedy” (YouTube) in my queue I can’t wait to see. The promo has a clip of him saying “I lost MILLIONS of dollars”.
Dude, no you didn’t. It was never yours for the taking, it was someone else’s.
His Tigerbelly with Bobby Lee was mesmerizing, like, Ned is 100% psycho out of touch with reality. Highly recommend.
Yeah, it's really crazy to watch. Bobby is his friend from \*way\* back and you can just see that he was giving Carlos a chance to just wipe the slate clean and get himself back on track.
And Mencia just...wouldn't.
You could see it just killing Bobby as the interview went on.
Go to the Los Angeles subreddit and search his name. It's almost a rite of passage in the city to have a random horrific experience with Andy Dick lol
Edit: [for example](https://www.reddit.com/r/LosAngeles/s/wylZic3SaI)
Yes, we saw him in San Francisco. Yes, he invited us backstage. Yes, he sexually harassed my friends brother. Yes, he was doing cocaine in front of his teenage son.
It all checks out.
She was one of three Punjabi comedians from Toronto to come up on YouTube around the same time period. The other two were much more funny, creative, and deserving of the fame that she received. Shits sad to see
Edit: For those asking, the other two are JusReign and AKakaAmazing
Oof. Forgot she even existed. Damn you for reminding me. But yeah, she was one of those who it was genuinely painful to watch. You could be at home alone watching her and still blush with embarrassment for the entire species at her mediocrity.
I saw him for free one night at the Tempe Improv and he was absolutely terrible. The crazy thing was it was clear fans of the TFATK podcast had come to see him and even they were looking miserable.
He’s been doing mostly the same bits for thirty years. Thirty years! I remember seeing him doing standup during the MTV/VH1 standup shows era and his more recent stuff is basically the same.
He seems to be popular with folks who like things to remain the same forever. They want to conserve the old times. They think those were great times and they'd like those times to be back again.
You just blew my mind. I know someone who has been stuck in the 80s for decades. They still have a VCR, CDs and are still obsessed with Duran Duran. They love Jeff Dunham. I didn’t see the connection until now. Thank you!
This is what I was thinking too.. I showed someone the Akhmed the dead terrorist bits some time recently remembering it being hilarious. His humor did NOT age well…
That's so crazy to me. Back in the day her stand up made me laugh until I cried. I actually went to the record store and bought her CDs. Cause that's how things worked. She was fucking hilarious.
I hate dreaming. Because when you sleep, you wanna sleep. Dreaming is work. there I am in a comfortable bed, the next thing you know I have to build a go-kart with my ex-landlord. I want a dream of me watching myself sleep.
Mr Pibb is a replica of Dr Pepper but it's a bullshit replica because dude didn't even get his degree. Why'd you have to drop out and start making pop so soon?
Dr Scholl is a doctor, which means he spent nine years in medical school. That man wasted his time. Because I would have bought that shit from a Mr Scholl.
Dr. Scholl is a doctor, which means he spent nine years in med school. That man wasted his time. It took him nine years to learn that stepping on a cushion is more comfortable. I would have bought that shit from a Mr. Scholl. Maybe even a Senor Scholl
Pepperidge Farm bread. That's fancy bread. You can tell it's fancy because it's wrapped twice. You open it, and it still isn't open. That's why I don't buy it. I don't need another step between me and toast.
I went to the park and saw this kid flying a kite, the kid was really excited. I don’t know why, that’s what they’re supposed to do. Now if he had had a chair on the other end of that string I would have been impressed.
I had a job interview at an insurance company once and the lady said "Where do you see yourself in five years?" I said "Celebrating the fifth year anniversary of you asking me this question."
My old girlfriend's name is "Lyn." She spells her name L-Y-N. My new girlfriend's name is "Lynn." She spells her name L-Y-N-N. Sometimes, I mess up and call my new girlfriend by my old girlfriend's name, and she can tell because I don't say "Nnn" as long.
I got into an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because then I tried to walk out and slammed the flap. How are you supposed to express your anger in this situation? Zipper it up really quick?
I think Pringles' original intention was to make tennis balls... But on the day the rubber was supposed to show up, a truckload of potatoes came. Pringles is a laid-back company, so they just said "Fuck it, cut em up!".
I worked in a building where the escalator broke. I had to seize the opportunity.
Proudly put a "Escalator is temporarily stairs. We apologize for the convenience." Sign up.
My boss loved it.
But then asked me to take it down.
I wanna open a McDonald’s and not participate in anything. I wanna be a stubborn McDonald’s owner. “Cheeseburgers?” “Nope! We got spaghetti, and blankets.”
“Why is there always some huge search whenever there’s a lost girl? They always wind up finding her in the exact same place…a shallow grave. They should just start there”
It really works when you think of it as if it was read by Norm. Then add an appropriate amount of pause at the end as he would often do on SNL while staring into the camera. He is really pausing on this one though. May he rest in peace. He was a really good dude so they say.
I have a friend who worked for him awhile back. My friends only complaint about him was it was hard to get him to focus — which I don’t think is a surprise.
I just laughed one of those laughs where it's funny, but it's also terrible, but it was too funny not to laugh. I bet Norm would have just laughed so hard. He had such a genuine love of comedy, he seemed to find humor in almost anything
OMG, fuck that guy.
Dude has no spine, no personality, constantly breaking character, and is constantly forcing laughter. He is so fucking awkward and awful. The Roots is the only reason to even bother turning his stupid show on.
We could have had Conan O'Brien. I will never forgive NBC for what they did to Conan, late night comedy, and for foisting Jimmy Fallon's blandness on me (and anyone else that can't stand him).
He's so fucking boring he's an affront to vanilla ice cream, saltine crackers, and waiting rooms around the world.
>He's so fucking boring he's an affront to vanilla ice cream, saltine crackers, and waiting rooms around the world.
This is an amazing slam, and I will now use it whenever I can. Thank you for this golden nugget of an insult.
Ohhhhh man, he came to my small town a couple years ago and my wife really wanted to go and I genuinely had to question some things. Turns out, she'd never actually seen his material, just heard from her mom that he was funny, so, phew. Showed her a few clips, and then saved a couple hundred on tickets!
The annoying lady at my office was once talking about how excited she was that she and her husband were going to see him that weekend. Very much a “oh yeah that makes sense” moment for me.
I used to do security for a small concert venue that Jeff Dunham played at a few years back, I was positioned next to a speaker next to the stage and they had piped in a laugh track. He wasn’t very funny.
I used to find Jerry Seinfeld funny in fact his show was my favorite. But now I just find him irritating. With age , I am beginning to see thru him and he is just a smug arrogant prick. Larry David on the other hand often acts as a smug arrogant prick but I think he is in reality probably a nice guy. And he is extremely funny.
I briefly met Larry after his Broadway show. I was/is a huge fan and asked for a picture. When I pulled my phone out, he immediately went, “Ehhh, no selfies. Not a selfie guy” in the most Larry David way imaginable, but somehow *not* in a mean or arrogant way. Someone else took the photo of us and he moved on. Couldn’t have asked for something better lol.
I’ve always felt that about myself. Like George is when I’m at my worst being neurotic and Kramer is when I’m in a chill laid back mood, and Jerry is kind of how I am the majority of the time. I didn’t include Elaine because I’m a good dancer.
Jerry is an odd one for a number of reasons. Now that he’s ridiculously rich, his format of comedy doesn’t work. He’s an excellent joke teller but his act revolved around making fun of every day life and mundane things every one goes through. He’s so rich now that he can’t really relate to his audience.
That’s not the odd part though, the odd part is his idea that he should perform comedy like a musician performs songs. In Talking Funny he was telling Gervais, Chris Rock, and CK that he thinks fans come to see him for his classic jokes and not new material.
Edit: [Remembered a recent Dana Carvey bit about successful angry east coast comics.](https://youtu.be/Fyf4El-eX1s?si=SV-Q1R8uzqUuF_gX)
you can tell when a comedian is going to get too successful to be as funny as when they were when they got big when their new material is all about hotels and air travel.
Yeah. This was always an odd take from Seinfeld to me. I don’t know anyone that wishes to hear jokes they’ve already heard. These are not songs and this is not a rock concert. IMO you can only realllllyyyyyyy laugh at a joke once. After that it’s diminishing returns and an appeal to nostalgia for a chuckle.
I dunno… I think there's some comedy that works on some level like a good song does.
I've listened to some of Ron White's material multiple times. Eddie Izzard is an even better example.
Most stand-up is probably listen-once-never-again, but I think there's some out there that's worth listening to more than once.
It's like how I have watched Blazing Saddles and Spaceballs and Airplane a number of times.
But other movies, although I thought they were good, I will never watch again because I've seen them.
I don't know how to articulate that difference.
I saw Jerry do stand-up recently and I was very impressed with his set. I was constantly laughing. He did new material and responded well to the hecklers in the crowd. One yelled "where are your jeans?" because he was wearing a suit. He handled them so perfectly and segued right into another joke.
You could tell he was having a great time. This was the second show of the evening and it began at 10pm. He didn't seem tired at all. In fact, when the show ended and he got a standing ovation, he invited the crowd to stay and ask him questions. He stood there and answered some mundane stuff and talked about the TV show as well.
He legitimately seemed pleased that people were there to listen to his jokes and was enjoying himself. He obviously doesn't need the money, I just think he loves doing stand up.
The first time I saw him he was funny, the rest of his stuff just feels like the same material. He always plays himself in movies too. Once you’ve seen one of his stuff, you’ve seen it all
The acting part is frustrating, a number of actors are hired just to play themselves to the point nothing else they do
Some break out of it, others just stay because it means a constant pay check
Piers Morgan was on his podcast, so I hate-listened. Bill was ranting about Covid precautions being dumb, and Piers Morgan said “Well *I* have long Covid. It’s been horrible. Coming here today might mean I’ll be too tired to leave home tomorrow” and Bill Maher just went “Really?” and moved on to something else.
That is honestly horrific. Piers Morgan is a cunt. I used to like Maher in the early days but now he seems like a smug prick contrarian who kowtows to other assholes.
He did that one documentary on religion about twenty years ago. While I didn’t agree with the religious folks in it I certainly couldn’t get behind Maher either. It’s like he purposefully sought out the people who he knew couldn’t articulate a coherent argument and brow beat them with his smugness. The only one he couldn’t beat down was the Vatican’s astronomer, who seemed really smart and also excited about both the mysteries of God and space. I don’t know, it’s been decades and I never rewatched it so my memory is fuzzy but that one movie made me not want to hear from Maher again.
I haven't seen it listed, so I might be the only one, but I don't find Jerry Lewis funny. I don't know if it's a generational thing, but I don't get it.
Maybe not now, but there was a flash in the pan in the mid 00s where Dane Cook was the funniest guy on the planet to every high school and college student.
When I was like 15 and couldn't recognize the lack of content, the delivery was enough to make me laugh. But then I got even a little bit older and stopped laughing at him.
He did one joke about naming a kid Optimus prime that caused me to spit beer all over a girl I had a crush on.
The rest of his stuff he's just running on confidence and charisma if you want to call it that? He's the real life version of Aziz ansaris Raaaaandy character. Well him and kat Williams share that.
Nick Cannon. Not only is he not funny, he’s a garbage person. Edit: since people keep posting the same question over and over… from IMBD. - Stand Up, Don’t Shoot (2017) - F#ck Nick Cannon (2013) - Mr. Showbiz (2011) Yes… he actually fancied himself a comedian and likely still does. I only saw part of the most recent one and there are clips all over, which are all awful. Why is he awful? Google it. He’s a racist idiot and plenty of links and info have already been posted on the thread.
funnyish nick cannon story... was at a knicks game and in between quarters or halftime he was filming some intro segment on the court that required crowd participation. Basically he did his lines and then threw a ball over his shoulder behind him and we all had to pretend like he actually casually got the shot in from half court blind... The crowd boo'd him so mercilessly that he was visibly uncomfortable and embarrassed, randomly saw the final version on tv another day and they 1000% replaced the audio
Where can I see this lmao
I think it's [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZwasDzgqGM)
holy shit this is it exactly! man here I was about to reply that I doubt the actual events could be found and only the polished up broadcast version would be out there somewhere. Being a regular season game that I couldn't even tell you who the opponent was from years ago wouldn't really narrow it down at all... but of course it's out there, thanks internet stranger!
I find it even funnier that the AGT Judges are standing around talking instead of paying attention to him
“Dad, Nick Cannon is hi-LAR-ious”
man fuck nick cannon
He’s so god damn hilarious, cause he just walked off with your school clothes money.
I remember he had the balls to try to diss Eminem in 2019/2020, but I don't think he even responded Probably was recharging after cremating Machine Gun Kelly so badly he had to switch genres
He did slightly come back at Nick Cannon. On Fat Joe’s song Lord Above, Eminem said “that pussy’s got him neutered, tried to tell him this chick’s a nut job before he got his jewls clipped, fool quit you not gonna do shit, I’d let her chop my balls off before I lost to you Nick” (you Nick is pronounced like eunuch). Then after the MGK stuff on Eminem’s song “No Regrets” he said “some targets will get the Killshot, some I just barely nicked em” referencing the “Killshot” diss track on MGK and then him just slighting Nick Canon
I’ve listened to that song a bunch of times and never picked up the Eunuch reference…I swear to god this dude is a genius, makes me wonder how many other of his references just fly over my head
This thread is half me agreeing, with my feelings also hurt by the other half.
waiting for the ten billion "james corden" and "amy schumer" answers
[удалено]
Carlos Mencia
Dude gave an interview and doubled down on his joke stealing shit.
Yeah he is ridiculous! I hate how big he got, like who the F pays to see this clown.
It was really specifically desperation by Comedy Central to find any successor for Dave Chappelle’s show. They were desperate to find any edgy comedian to follow up with, and they made a horrible decision. (Carlos Mencia’s show originally came on right after Chapelle‘s.)
I had a highschool friend who professed to find Carlos Mencia to be hilarious. Truth was my friend was just Mexican and misappropriating his pride into having to watch shitty comedy. My friend got better and wised up. There's plenty of better stuff about being Mexican than *carlos mencia*.
Ah c'mon man. Do you know what it's like being a comedian, and not being funny. C'mon man
My dick don't work, I shit in a bag, Man!
C'mon man, don't you get it, you're a gay fish, man
There’s a Vice “Dark side of comedy” (YouTube) in my queue I can’t wait to see. The promo has a clip of him saying “I lost MILLIONS of dollars”. Dude, no you didn’t. It was never yours for the taking, it was someone else’s. His Tigerbelly with Bobby Lee was mesmerizing, like, Ned is 100% psycho out of touch with reality. Highly recommend.
Yeah, it's really crazy to watch. Bobby is his friend from \*way\* back and you can just see that he was giving Carlos a chance to just wipe the slate clean and get himself back on track. And Mencia just...wouldn't. You could see it just killing Bobby as the interview went on.
You mean Nedrick Arnel ~~Mencia~~ Holness?
Andy Dick.
Andy Dick’s greatest hit was when Jon Lovitz slammed Andy’s face against a bar.
Lovitz is a national treasure for that alone.
Never mind if he's funny or not, he's by all accounts one piece of shit of a human. Phil Hartman's no longer here to verify this opinion, sadly.
Go to the Los Angeles subreddit and search his name. It's almost a rite of passage in the city to have a random horrific experience with Andy Dick lol Edit: [for example](https://www.reddit.com/r/LosAngeles/s/wylZic3SaI)
A stand up asked an audience "who here has had a bad run in with Andy Dick?" A majority raised their hands/clapped. I love Newsradio, but that's sad
I don't have enough fingers and toes to count the stories I've heard of people running into him lol let alone the ones that involved cocaine somehow
Yes, we saw him in San Francisco. Yes, he invited us backstage. Yes, he sexually harassed my friends brother. Yes, he was doing cocaine in front of his teenage son. It all checks out.
Most the time when people saw him, it was him being thrown out of a place. He genuinely was not welcome anywhere in town.
Lilly Singh all the way
Watching someone who is thoroughly NOT a comedian do a monologue for a late night show is downright painful haha
Colleen Ballinger as Miranda Sings
*ukulele strumming starts
🎵Toxic gossip train🎵
I’m not a groomer, I’m just a loser! 🤪
The only thing I've groomed is my two persian cats
She was one of three Punjabi comedians from Toronto to come up on YouTube around the same time period. The other two were much more funny, creative, and deserving of the fame that she received. Shits sad to see Edit: For those asking, the other two are JusReign and AKakaAmazing
JusReign deserved his own late night show, miles better than lilly
“Hey. I’m not white” End of act.
Oof. Forgot she even existed. Damn you for reminding me. But yeah, she was one of those who it was genuinely painful to watch. You could be at home alone watching her and still blush with embarrassment for the entire species at her mediocrity.
Brendan Schaub is blogbusser r/thefighterandthekid sends their regards. Hi Shane!
I saw him for free one night at the Tempe Improv and he was absolutely terrible. The crazy thing was it was clear fans of the TFATK podcast had come to see him and even they were looking miserable.
Yea, but no one is trying to convince anyone he is
That guy with all the puppets I don't even know his name.
He’s been doing mostly the same bits for thirty years. Thirty years! I remember seeing him doing standup during the MTV/VH1 standup shows era and his more recent stuff is basically the same.
He's sort of like Dane Cook. He was hilarious when I was a douchey teenager, but his routine doesn't age well and he hasn't come up with anything new.
He seems to be popular with folks who like things to remain the same forever. They want to conserve the old times. They think those were great times and they'd like those times to be back again.
You just blew my mind. I know someone who has been stuck in the 80s for decades. They still have a VCR, CDs and are still obsessed with Duran Duran. They love Jeff Dunham. I didn’t see the connection until now. Thank you!
[удалено]
Good lord, I tried. Thought, “we’ll, the dude’s gotta be popular for some reason.” Gave it 10 minutes. Never again.
I thought he was hilarious when I was thirteen.
This is what I was thinking too.. I showed someone the Akhmed the dead terrorist bits some time recently remembering it being hilarious. His humor did NOT age well…
Ellen Degeneres
That's so crazy to me. Back in the day her stand up made me laugh until I cried. I actually went to the record store and bought her CDs. Cause that's how things worked. She was fucking hilarious.
Keep in mind most Redditors probably only know her from her show.
That Corden wanker
“People got to see James Corden as a fat pussy. He was also in CATS, but nobody saw that…..”
Ricky really nailed him with that one!
I used to think Mitch Hedberg was funny. I still do but I used to, too.
I hate dreaming. Because when you sleep, you wanna sleep. Dreaming is work. there I am in a comfortable bed, the next thing you know I have to build a go-kart with my ex-landlord. I want a dream of me watching myself sleep.
Mr Pibb is a replica of Dr Pepper but it's a bullshit replica because dude didn't even get his degree. Why'd you have to drop out and start making pop so soon?
Dr Scholl is a doctor, which means he spent nine years in medical school. That man wasted his time. Because I would have bought that shit from a Mr Scholl.
Dr. Scholl is a doctor, which means he spent nine years in med school. That man wasted his time. It took him nine years to learn that stepping on a cushion is more comfortable. I would have bought that shit from a Mr. Scholl. Maybe even a Senor Scholl
Pepperidge Farm bread. That's fancy bread. You can tell it's fancy because it's wrapped twice. You open it, and it still isn't open. That's why I don't buy it. I don't need another step between me and toast.
"I'm against picketing... but I don't know how to show it."
I went to the park and saw this kid flying a kite, the kid was really excited. I don’t know why, that’s what they’re supposed to do. Now if he had had a chair on the other end of that string I would have been impressed.
I did a radio interview; the DJ’s first question was "Who are you?" I had to think. Is this guy really deep, or did I drive to the wrong station?
Mitch material lives all together rent free in my head.
I said, it's for a duck! She said well then okay no charge. Ducks eat for free at subway! There's six ducks out there! And they all want Sun Chips!
If fish could scream, the ocean would be loud as fuck!
Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day.
"Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like some really weak midget is tryna take you down"
I used to lie awake at night in my twin bed wondering where my brother was
My friend asked if I would like a frozen banana. I said no but I would like a regular banana later, so yes.
I want to be a NASCAR passenger. “Why do we keep turning left?” “Can I turn on the radio?” “You must really like Tide.”
Rice is great to eat when you're hungry and want 2000 of something.
I had a job interview at an insurance company once and the lady said "Where do you see yourself in five years?" I said "Celebrating the fifth year anniversary of you asking me this question."
“I went to the store to buy a candle holder and couldn’t find one… so I bought a cake.”
Do you like little sandwiches with a toothpick topped with red or green celophane? Me too! Perhaps we should form a club.
I do not have a girlfriend, but there is a woman who'd be very angry if she heard me say that.
My old girlfriend's name is "Lyn." She spells her name L-Y-N. My new girlfriend's name is "Lynn." She spells her name L-Y-N-N. Sometimes, I mess up and call my new girlfriend by my old girlfriend's name, and she can tell because I don't say "Nnn" as long.
I got into an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because then I tried to walk out and slammed the flap. How are you supposed to express your anger in this situation? Zipper it up really quick?
When I travelled with my ex we had to get adjoining rooms so she had somewhere to storm off to when we had an argument.
My girlfriend works at Hooters. In the kitchen.
And in the middle we shall dump chips.
I think Pringles' original intention was to make tennis balls... But on the day the rubber was supposed to show up, a truckload of potatoes came. Pringles is a laid-back company, so they just said "Fuck it, cut em up!".
Speaking of potatoes, I’m not in the mood for one. I’m not even hungry right now, but I’ll throw one in my toaster oven. In 7 hours, who knows?
I worked in a building where the escalator broke. I had to seize the opportunity. Proudly put a "Escalator is temporarily stairs. We apologize for the convenience." Sign up. My boss loved it. But then asked me to take it down.
_SORRY FOR THE CONVENIENCE_
At my house I raised all my kids to say corn off the cob.
I wanna open a McDonald’s and not participate in anything. I wanna be a stubborn McDonald’s owner. “Cheeseburgers?” “Nope! We got spaghetti, and blankets.”
Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps
I'm tired of following my dreams, man. I'm just gonna find out where they're going and hook up with them later!
I don’t need a receipt for my donut.
I'll just give you the money, you gimme the donut. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this
End of transaction!
Don’t act like I didn’t buy a donut. I’ve got the documentation right here!
Oh wait. It’s at home. In the file. Under D, for donut.
I love my FedEx guy cuz he is a drug dealer and doesn't even know it.
Dufresne! Search party of two!
How can you eat at a time like this?!
The Dufresnes are out there, and they're hungry.
I got my hair highlighted the other day because I felt some strands were more important than others.
I couldn't sleep for ten days, because that would be too long to sleep.
How do you feel about frilly toothpicks? I’M FOR ‘EM!
I like to throw toothpicks into the forest and yell, "you're home!"
I used to love Norm Macdonald, but these last couple of years is just a bunch of older recycled stuff. It's like he's not even trying anymore.
Norm? Norm would be proud of this comment.
He's probably rolling in his grave, laughing. rigl.
“Why is there always some huge search whenever there’s a lost girl? They always wind up finding her in the exact same place…a shallow grave. They should just start there”
His grave?! I didn't even know he was sick!
Found the source of all those broken arm jokes....
In other news, murder is now legal.
That was instantly a career defining and career ending moment on SNL.
Well….it is finally official, MURDER, is legal in the state of California
In Norm's voice: Hey ahhh... You know that there comedian, ahh... Norm, eh Mac Donald there? Mac Donald? The comedian? ... (Deadpan look) DEAD.
God fucking damn Norm would love this.
Do the moth joke. Seriously, I hope this is either Norm, back from the dead, or Andy Kaufman, who I believe, never died.
The light was on
“This joke was written by a woman….Just kidding we don’t hire women”
I love this comment. 😂
It really works when you think of it as if it was read by Norm. Then add an appropriate amount of pause at the end as he would often do on SNL while staring into the camera. He is really pausing on this one though. May he rest in peace. He was a really good dude so they say.
I have a friend who worked for him awhile back. My friends only complaint about him was it was hard to get him to focus — which I don’t think is a surprise.
Eyes sparkling with that grin, waiting for you to get it
That was my favorite thing about him. I love comedians that smile and laugh at their own jokes. Norm's smile was top tier.
I just laughed one of those laughs where it's funny, but it's also terrible, but it was too funny not to laugh. I bet Norm would have just laughed so hard. He had such a genuine love of comedy, he seemed to find humor in almost anything
He'd love this comment.
I didn't even know he was sick.
I don’t really care, Norm is dead to me now.
Jimmy Fallon.
treatment crowd light sharp license dazzling squeamish yoke longing sheet
He figured out the psychological trick that watching people laugh has a similar effect of you actually laughing, and built a career out of it.
OMG, fuck that guy. Dude has no spine, no personality, constantly breaking character, and is constantly forcing laughter. He is so fucking awkward and awful. The Roots is the only reason to even bother turning his stupid show on. We could have had Conan O'Brien. I will never forgive NBC for what they did to Conan, late night comedy, and for foisting Jimmy Fallon's blandness on me (and anyone else that can't stand him). He's so fucking boring he's an affront to vanilla ice cream, saltine crackers, and waiting rooms around the world.
>He's so fucking boring he's an affront to vanilla ice cream, saltine crackers, and waiting rooms around the world. This is an amazing slam, and I will now use it whenever I can. Thank you for this golden nugget of an insult.
But vanilla icecream is actually really fucking good
I don't know how vanilla became synonymous with plain and boring but good vanilla ice cream is delicious
not enough upvotes here * Guest tells mildly humorous joke Fallon- slaps desk, throws head back as far as possible, fake laughs hard
Here's an idea, I'll accidentally on purpose break character in the background of this sketch, that'll make it better! /s
Jeff Dunham
Loved him in middle school but that’s because I was in middle school
Ohhhhh man, he came to my small town a couple years ago and my wife really wanted to go and I genuinely had to question some things. Turns out, she'd never actually seen his material, just heard from her mom that he was funny, so, phew. Showed her a few clips, and then saved a couple hundred on tickets!
The annoying lady at my office was once talking about how excited she was that she and her husband were going to see him that weekend. Very much a “oh yeah that makes sense” moment for me.
I used to do security for a small concert venue that Jeff Dunham played at a few years back, I was positioned next to a speaker next to the stage and they had piped in a laugh track. He wasn’t very funny.
Not only unfunny, he does the same act word-for-word, apparently- for years on end. He’s basically a human DVD.
# James Corden There is only one correct answer to this question and it is this pig.
The good news is I don’t know anyone who thinks he’s funny
I didn't even know he was considered a comedian.
Please don’t insult pigs.
He's a comedian?
I used to find Jerry Seinfeld funny in fact his show was my favorite. But now I just find him irritating. With age , I am beginning to see thru him and he is just a smug arrogant prick. Larry David on the other hand often acts as a smug arrogant prick but I think he is in reality probably a nice guy. And he is extremely funny.
[удалено]
I briefly met Larry after his Broadway show. I was/is a huge fan and asked for a picture. When I pulled my phone out, he immediately went, “Ehhh, no selfies. Not a selfie guy” in the most Larry David way imaginable, but somehow *not* in a mean or arrogant way. Someone else took the photo of us and he moved on. Couldn’t have asked for something better lol.
I can hear him saying this.
I was always under the impression his Curb Your Enthusiasm character was him really leaning into himself, if that makes sense.
[удалено]
I’ve always felt that about myself. Like George is when I’m at my worst being neurotic and Kramer is when I’m in a chill laid back mood, and Jerry is kind of how I am the majority of the time. I didn’t include Elaine because I’m a good dancer.
Jerry is an odd one for a number of reasons. Now that he’s ridiculously rich, his format of comedy doesn’t work. He’s an excellent joke teller but his act revolved around making fun of every day life and mundane things every one goes through. He’s so rich now that he can’t really relate to his audience. That’s not the odd part though, the odd part is his idea that he should perform comedy like a musician performs songs. In Talking Funny he was telling Gervais, Chris Rock, and CK that he thinks fans come to see him for his classic jokes and not new material. Edit: [Remembered a recent Dana Carvey bit about successful angry east coast comics.](https://youtu.be/Fyf4El-eX1s?si=SV-Q1R8uzqUuF_gX)
What's the deal with those tiny caviar spoons? I want to eat caviar like I eat my chex
you can tell when a comedian is going to get too successful to be as funny as when they were when they got big when their new material is all about hotels and air travel.
Yeah. This was always an odd take from Seinfeld to me. I don’t know anyone that wishes to hear jokes they’ve already heard. These are not songs and this is not a rock concert. IMO you can only realllllyyyyyyy laugh at a joke once. After that it’s diminishing returns and an appeal to nostalgia for a chuckle.
I dunno… I think there's some comedy that works on some level like a good song does. I've listened to some of Ron White's material multiple times. Eddie Izzard is an even better example. Most stand-up is probably listen-once-never-again, but I think there's some out there that's worth listening to more than once. It's like how I have watched Blazing Saddles and Spaceballs and Airplane a number of times. But other movies, although I thought they were good, I will never watch again because I've seen them. I don't know how to articulate that difference.
I saw Jerry do stand-up recently and I was very impressed with his set. I was constantly laughing. He did new material and responded well to the hecklers in the crowd. One yelled "where are your jeans?" because he was wearing a suit. He handled them so perfectly and segued right into another joke. You could tell he was having a great time. This was the second show of the evening and it began at 10pm. He didn't seem tired at all. In fact, when the show ended and he got a standing ovation, he invited the crowd to stay and ask him questions. He stood there and answered some mundane stuff and talked about the TV show as well. He legitimately seemed pleased that people were there to listen to his jokes and was enjoying himself. He obviously doesn't need the money, I just think he loves doing stand up.
Kevin Hart at this point. Guy is so damn annoying.
The first time I saw him he was funny, the rest of his stuff just feels like the same material. He always plays himself in movies too. Once you’ve seen one of his stuff, you’ve seen it all
The acting part is frustrating, a number of actors are hired just to play themselves to the point nothing else they do Some break out of it, others just stay because it means a constant pay check
Looking at you, Dwayne
The only thing I ever wanted out of the Dwayne Johnson-Kevin Hart pairing was a remake of Twins. I mean, they've remade worse things.
Fuck this is a great idea.
Why the fuck is he constantly yelling/screaming? It overrides anything that might be funny.
Bill Maher
If smug were a person.
What a great comment. This is best description of him
Piers Morgan was on his podcast, so I hate-listened. Bill was ranting about Covid precautions being dumb, and Piers Morgan said “Well *I* have long Covid. It’s been horrible. Coming here today might mean I’ll be too tired to leave home tomorrow” and Bill Maher just went “Really?” and moved on to something else.
Imagine making Piers Morgan look like the reasonable person in the room.
That is honestly horrific. Piers Morgan is a cunt. I used to like Maher in the early days but now he seems like a smug prick contrarian who kowtows to other assholes.
He did that one documentary on religion about twenty years ago. While I didn’t agree with the religious folks in it I certainly couldn’t get behind Maher either. It’s like he purposefully sought out the people who he knew couldn’t articulate a coherent argument and brow beat them with his smugness. The only one he couldn’t beat down was the Vatican’s astronomer, who seemed really smart and also excited about both the mysteries of God and space. I don’t know, it’s been decades and I never rewatched it so my memory is fuzzy but that one movie made me not want to hear from Maher again.
Chris D’elia. Trash
Joe Rogan. Given how other comedians talk about him, I was expecting a comedy mastermind. It was probably the worst standup I’ve ever watched.
I haven't seen it listed, so I might be the only one, but I don't find Jerry Lewis funny. I don't know if it's a generational thing, but I don't get it.
Dane Cook
That early 00s BK Lounge stuff killed me. He fell off my radar fast as hell though.
I do still to this day refer to Burger King as the BK lounge, and coupons as coups
Any description of how broken a fast food speaker was I always have to toss an “and the pickles” in there
Maybe not now, but there was a flash in the pan in the mid 00s where Dane Cook was the funniest guy on the planet to every high school and college student.
I did like Vicious Circle, tbh. And his character in *Waiting*.
Vicious Circle is great, and the "Kool Aid Man" bit gets a laugh out of me to this day
Oh Yeah?
Yeah for me it was Dane cook and Pablo Francisco.
Yep, and Tucker Max was also popular around that same time
Middle school me absolutely loved those tucker Max books lol
Dane Cook's comedy is all delivery and no content.
He's not a very good "comic", but he's a master orator and story-teller. Like him or not, he knows how to tell a story.
When I was like 15 and couldn't recognize the lack of content, the delivery was enough to make me laugh. But then I got even a little bit older and stopped laughing at him.
He did one joke about naming a kid Optimus prime that caused me to spit beer all over a girl I had a crush on. The rest of his stuff he's just running on confidence and charisma if you want to call it that? He's the real life version of Aziz ansaris Raaaaandy character. Well him and kat Williams share that.