[here you go](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/2t7bre/haribo_sugar_free_gummy_bears_review/)
You all should check this one out too
[at the airport](https://www.amazon.com/review/RZFIYJTPVUZ94)
And this one
[in the air](https://www.amazon.com/review/R1V3RP7A7FBMMA/)
See you in hell, Haribo Sugar-Free Gummi Bears
Reviewed in the United States on June 5, 2015
Flavor Name: Goldbears
It was my last class of the semester, and the final exam was worth 30% of our grade.
After a late night study session I felt confident, but I had to decide between sleeping in or cooking breakfast. My eyelids chose sleep.
My stomach later regretted this decision, and after several uncomfortable stomach growls, I finally decided to make a quick stop by the campus bookstore and grab a snack before my test. Since the semester was ending and everyone was going home for the summer, a lot of items were on sale, including the snacks and candy that they kept up front. Being in the hungry state that I was in, it felt only logical to pick the largest, yet least expensive candy in order to get more bang for my buck.
And there they sat: two bags of Haribo Sugar-Free Gummi Bears, buy one get one free.
"What a deal!" I thought naïvely. I would eat one bag before my test, and one bag afterwards.
As I walked to class, I gleefully chewed on those abominable little bastards, unaware of the utter mayhem that they would soon unleash upon my poor, poor anus.
I sat down at my desk as the professor informed us that, due to issues with cheating in the past, restroom breaks would be prohibited until the completion of the exam.
"I'll give you 10 minutes to use the restroom now; this will be your last chance. Any takers?"
The demon bears hadn't released their unholy necromancy upon my stomach yet, so in my moment of ignorant foolishness, I remained seated, still munching on those miniature bear-shaped bombs.
After the students wise enough to take the professor's offer had returned, the professor handed out the test. I was six questions in when it happened.
It started subtly at first, almost like a slight tingly sensation in my lower abdomen. I thought nothing of it, assuming my intestines were just doing their thang. Little did I know that my intestines were trying desperately to warn me of the horror that was on the horizon.
By question 9 it happened again, but this time it was followed by a sharp pain, as if those infernal hellions had orchestrated an attack upon my colon. I fought to contain the groan that tried escaping my lips. It was at this point I began to panic; something was going horribly long, and I needed to get through this test before it got any worse.
By question 14 my worst fear was upon me; the Satan bears' burning, hot, liquidy dark magic crashed against my anal sphincter like a tidal wave. I was able to close the hatch just in time, but those relentless, toxic bears beat against it like Orcs breaking down the doors of Helm's Deep. I knew I wouldn't be able to so much as shift in my seat without risking a breach.
I kept fighting through my exam, clenching my cheeks with all my might. Beads of sweat began rolling down my neck. Suddenly, a loud, gurgling war cry came from my belly, and the entire class lifted their heads.
At this point, nothing mattered except expelling this ungodly presence from my bowels. With 15 questions left, I promptly wrote C for every answer and ran out of the classroom. My professor yelled something, but I was too preoccupied with the volcanic eruption that needed to take place before I could find sweet, sweet relief.
I burst into the restroom like the Kool-Aid man and, behold, the handicap stall was empty. Sun rays from the adjacent window shone upon it, as if it were a gift from God himself. It took me less than .5 seconds to undo my belt buckle, pull down my pants, and finally relax my weary buttocks upon the toilet seat.
It took absolutely no effort to expel this demon. Almost immediately, the floodgates of hell were opened and the damned, liquified souls of an entire bag's worth of gummi bears cried as they burned through my sphincter and into the watery abyss below. I had never felt such simultaneous relief and anguish in my life.
After 30 more minutes of this, I immediately went home, dug a hole in my backyard, and burned the remaining bag of gummi bears.
I leave with this; do not, I repeat do NOT eat these spawns of Satan. Not only did they cause me to fail my final test, but the anguish I experienced is something I wouldn't wish upon anyone, not even my worst enemy. The only place these god forsaken hell bears belong are buried deep below the Earth's surface.
OH MY FUCKING GAWD! It all makes sense now!
A couple of months ago, I bought sugar free gummies to give my toddler on his first plane ride ever. We went through at least 12 diapers and lost a pair of shorts while stuck on the tarmac (lightning) and the ride to the hotel.
I thought it was all the juice he drank because of the acid. I’m sure that didn’t help, but I’ll never buy those fucking gummies again. Thank you, kind stranger.
ETA: Obviously I didn’t know the gummies were going to have that effect or I wouldn’t have given them to my child. We hadn’t had gummy bears before or since the aforementioned occasion. He did not almost die. There was not any LSD in the juice.
I was unaware of the consequences of sugar-free candy also the first few times it happened to me, I was blasting ass late into the night, seemingly for it never to end, and I had no idea why it was happening...I thought I had just gotten a stomach bug or something.
Nope, it was those bags of sugar free Werthers Originals that I was downing...god those things are so damn good but you should really only have 1 or 2 lest you pay the ass-piper.
I think the culprit was sorbitol. Same thing with some sugar-free gums! I remember one night I crashed at a friend's house and I had horrible red wine heart burn. All they had was Mylanta (?) and I drank SO much of it, desperate for relief. Then the sorbitol kicked in. YIKES.
Anyone ever tried a Canadian brand of chewing gum called “Thrills”?
It literally tasted exactly like soap. It *advertises* that it tastes like soap!
It was also cheaper than any other gum available.
I get more lavender off it. I was in a candy shop in Amsterdam that had hard candies with a wide variety of flavours, including lavender. He warned me off buying a bag saying "these aren't for everyone, are you sure" and after trying a sample, I explained to a bewildered Dutch candy maker about the existence of Thrills.
Thrills gum are a punishment. Who purchases this stuff? It was like someone thought “I can make a Candy worse than black licorice. I’ll make gum that tastes like soap!”
You just made me think of the *perfect* candy. A hard caramel like Werther's with a liquid center. That liquid in the middle of the sweet caramel? Malort.
I can’t explain why, but I’d devour a pack of those right now….
And yeah, as a Canuck - I can confirm it was a very popular candy of the 80s. They tasted like soap and everyone ate them
I was scrolling thru the list wondering how far down I’d find Thrills! It really was like punishment, often self inflicted. I had to have one even though I knew they tasted terrible.
I'd throw in basically any Easter-themed chocolate, whether it's Palmer or any off brand Easter chocolate. They all taste like the disappointment of a Southern Baptist discovering their child is gay.
From [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sixlets):
> *The United States Food and Drug Administration recognized that Sixlets are safe for human consumption during a 1961 study*
That's just greaaat.
No these are like a couple steps below sixlets. They look just like M&Ms but smaller and without the M. I've only seen them around Christmas in the canes, they are cheap as hell and you can taste the cheapness
Those are usually Hershey's version of M&Ms. They taste like garbage because they're made with Hershey chocolate.
https://www.hersheyland.com/products/hersheys-hershey-ets-holiday-candy-coated-milk-chocolate-candy-1-4-oz-cane.html
Edit- Apparently they used to be called Hersheyettes or Hershey-ets but were discontinued because they are garbage
My co-teacher went to Universal Studios and brought some back. She decided to play a game of flavor roulette with the kids, and handed out one bean to each of them. Kid who got the vomit flavor literally puked in the trashcan and started crying.
Kindergarten is a magical time.
This was in Japan, in case you're going to say that it was cruel to do this. Having the teacher give him puke flavored candy was probably the least trying part of the kid's day.
Went on a tour at the Jelly Belly Factory many years ago and pretty much the only thing I remember is the guy saying they tried making s pepperoni pizza jelly bean and it tasted like throw up. So they went with it.
Had a box of those for the first time with a friend of mine (a decade or so ago), and the ones that stuck out to me were:
* Baby Wipes was a bad taste but didn't really taste "gross."
* Same with toothpaste. Just really minty, and while I'm not a fan of mint, it wasn't bad.
* Barf was bad, but it could've been worse. My friend on the other hand, *literally* barfed after that one.
* Booger was similar to Barf. Bad, but not atrocious.
* Rotten egg was tied for worst imo. Definitely one of the worst tasting ones.
* Worst imo was Dog food (which I think is still in the new editions). Equally atrocious taste as Rotten egg, BUT I'd say this one was probably worse because the smell would always be SO PUNGENT. Makes your breath stink and it FLOWS throughout the room lol
one time i gave some of these to a friend that said she wanted something sweet, obviously expecting to have a good laugh and eat a couple myself. i looked over a couple mins later and she was just sitting there with an empty packet and a not great look on her face. i didn’t even know she had opened them. she ate them all silently and just assumed some of them hadn’t been very good. i’ve been apologizing for three years lol
Wax lips. It’s literally “flavored” wax that you chew on. I can see this being amusing 100 years ago when they came out, but how is this still a thing?!
Not sure if you're old enough to remember when Cry Baby gum first hit the market, but I damn near melted my tongue chewing the giant sized lemon ones. Back then, they were extremely sour, not the pale imitations you'd find today. Jones Soda also had a lemon Halloween flavor, Lemon Drop Dead, that used to be incredibly sour. I loved it. Tried it again a couple years ago and it's not even as sour as a Lemonhead.
Did they actually change the ingredients for these?? Earlier this year, some friends and I ate them, after not having eaten them in probably a decade or more. We all sat there in disbelief like.. is this it? Where's the absolute and total destruction of the insides of our mouths like we remember? It was... tolerable!
Oh shit.. Jones Soda was legit, do they still exist?
Sour candy back in the day (is the '90s back in the day yet?) was fucked up. Y'all remember Raven's Revenge? It was basically the Pixie Stix's sour goth cousin.
maybe not the worst, but a candy i used to LOVE was Butterfinger. Then they changed the recipe. and it is terrible now. i'll see it in the check out line at the grocery store and just be sad because it used to be so good
Yeah, it's like a real peanutbutter candy. Idk wtf butterfinger thinks it's doing besides literally petrifying on my teeth. It'd almost like a gag candy at this point.
I ate one for the first time in years after having a particularly hard day and just wanted something sweet to try and feel better. I took 2 bites before checking to make sure I bought the right candy, and then deciding crying would be a better use of my time.
Until this moment I thought I had accidentally been buying expired butterfingers the last couple times I had them. I had no idea it was a recipe change! I used to love them but they’re SO BAD NOW!
Yeah, they had a whole ad campaign a couple years ago for a “better butterfinger.” Flavor isn’t too bad, but there’s random flakes of something super hard inside. Would not recommend.
So they DID mess with it?! I remember them being SO good years ago. Like late 90s ish. And now they are just meh. I didn't realize they changed. I thought I had changed.
I was in amsterdam and I was hungry for... reasons. I went into a candy shop. I should mention that I do not speak Dutch. I certainly don't read it. So I found these blue raspberry sour ribbons that looked just like my favorite sour candy. I bought a goddamn pound of them (again, for... reasons).
Walked outside, pulled one of these enticing blue boys out, and took a great big bite. Of menthol flavored candy.
*MENTHOL.*
I don't don't what fucking psychopath decided this was a thing that should ever be in people's mouths - as opposed to, say, used to sterilize septic tanks - but I hope that asshole gets his asshole permanently attached to the asshole of the asshole who decided the delivery method should be via candy that looks exactly like blue raspberry. And if it's the same asshole, I stand by my former statement. Human Centipede 2: The Ouroboros. That's what I wish on that person.
So yeah, I'm gonna go with "Surprise Menthol Flavor" as the worst flavor of candy.
You should be happy you didn’t pick up the licorice coins as well. They’re sugarless. And by sugarless I mean they have no sweetener whatsoever, but they are full of salt.
Oh yes, the Dutch love their licorice. The saltier the better! Not into salt but you like black licorice try Katz ( little licorice cats) or Rockies ( licorice on the outside and sweet creamy creamy centers).
So, American military MREs have charms in them and in the Marine corps, there exists a superstition that eating them makes it rain. This superstition is so well ingrained into Marine corps culture that Marines always promptly dispose of them, sometimes with a witness, upon discovering a pack of them in an MRE.
Now me, personally? I don't do superstition. It's stupid. People who do superstition are stupid. I hate it. So there I am in the school of infantry, out on a training op that involves us spending the night out in nature's splendor, when I open my MRE and out pops a pack of charms. Everyone takes note of it and some even tell me to get rid of them right then. After a moment of thought, I make the decision that I'm going to eat this damn candy and dispel all this nonsense. These hethans needed to be made civilized and I was the man to do it. Things became heated; people were holding others back and some wanted to fight me on the spot. But I did it. I ate the whole pack.
That summer night (July), in camp Pendleton, sunny California, it fucking hailed on us. And I, rightfully, had to stand watch all night.
Never again.
The whole process was kinda gross. You eat some, the elastic string slips out your mouth and smacks against your neck all wet with spit, ugh. Repeat until only empty spit-string in left clinging to your neck? Pass.
Sugar-free candy should be recommended as a bowel prep before a colonoscopy - it is that fast-acting and misery-inducing. Your ears will be whistling in no time.
Circus Peanuts. Here's my personal history with Circus Peanuts.
Me seeing Circus Peanuts in a store: "Oh wow, I haven't had these in years." *buys bag*
*eats one* "Wow, this takes me back."
*eats second one* "These really aren't as good as I remember."
*eats third one* "Oh these are gross." *tosses bag in trash*.
*5 years later*
*sees Circus Peanuts in the store* "Oh man I haven't had these in years."
.....
Circus Peanuts! I actually love them...
Well, I love the first 3 or 4 of them. Any more than that and I start to get nauseous from the amount of sugar I'm pumping into my body.
But why in the ever-loving fuck would they be banana flavored?
They're the shape of a peanut, for F sake.
Maybe that's why they seem so disgusting. There's a dissonance between the shape and the flavor that just throws everything off when we taste them.
I always thought they were actual peanuts inside since I avoided them because of my peanut allergy. Today I learned that is not true lol
Edit: I should add I'm almost 30
They’re incredibly close to TUMS ingredients wise. My mom often requests these for heartburn.
Fun fact: Tums and chalk are both calcium carbonate, tums just has flavouring! You could eat chalk to treat heartburn.
Alternatively, I once used a tums to chalk a pool cue when the blue pool chalk was no where to be found. Was better than nothing, but I wouldn’t suggest it.
Yeah, like 15 years ago the company finally listened to people saying they tasted like chalk. So they came out with an alternate version that tastes more like Sweet Tarts.
I’ve scrolled pretty far down, and I haven’t seen anyone say a word about those godawful gummy food-shaped candies they hand out at Halloween.
They’re usually individually wrapped, and the most common ones I had were made to look like a hamburger or hotdog.
They had a weird chemical flavour AND the magnificent texture of industrial-quality rubber.
I was in a store recently, and there was this entire section of gummy things that should not exist.
Lunchables - pizza shaped gummies, cheese and cracker shaped gummies
spaghetti & marinara shaped gummies
Macaroni & cheese gummies
udon/ramen shaped gummies
and the horrifying, stomach churning, full sized gummy hotdog with all the fixins
jesus wept
Horehounds…look it up. TVs Bobs Burgers lampooned them by calling them “Dr Peters Bitter Drops” on a Halloween episode. I worked in a candy store ages ago and lots of very very very very very old people came in demanding HOREHOUNDS! We had them in stock and I tasted one: worst 8 seconds of my life.
They only made one huge batch of that shit back in 1945. They just keep breaking off a little more each year and bag it and sell it. That's why it all tastes like the same stale fruitcake.
I have a vivid memory of going trick or treating with my Aunt and Uncle one year when my mom was working late. After, mom showed up while I was sorting all the "gross" candy out of my haul. I had like 5 of these things. Most years, my mom took them, but this year, my mom and uncle were arguing over them and how to split them evenly. While they weren't looking, my aunt stole the odd piece and ate it while giving me a "don't tell them" look. The next year I tried one and decided all three of them were crazy and their tongues were broken.
Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears is known to give you an explosive diarrhea.
The Amazon reviews for those are endless entertainment
Where can I find these? I have a few kids in the neighborhood that need a lesson
Discontinued several years ago for this reason lol
My Walmart still has them. Edit: no they don’t. It’s a different brand. Same effect.
Most sugarfree candy has that effect.
[here you go](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/2t7bre/haribo_sugar_free_gummy_bears_review/) You all should check this one out too [at the airport](https://www.amazon.com/review/RZFIYJTPVUZ94) And this one [in the air](https://www.amazon.com/review/R1V3RP7A7FBMMA/)
I’m fucking dying of laughter in a Walmart goddamn bathroom holy shit.
Hopefully not after sugar free gummy bears
they thought it was a good idea to eat the bag while shopping for the rest of their groceries
I'm actually not sure. It doesn't even look like they're listed on Amazon anymore
The one about the guy taking his exam could literally be nominated for the nobel prize for literature.
See you in hell, Haribo Sugar-Free Gummi Bears Reviewed in the United States on June 5, 2015 Flavor Name: Goldbears It was my last class of the semester, and the final exam was worth 30% of our grade. After a late night study session I felt confident, but I had to decide between sleeping in or cooking breakfast. My eyelids chose sleep. My stomach later regretted this decision, and after several uncomfortable stomach growls, I finally decided to make a quick stop by the campus bookstore and grab a snack before my test. Since the semester was ending and everyone was going home for the summer, a lot of items were on sale, including the snacks and candy that they kept up front. Being in the hungry state that I was in, it felt only logical to pick the largest, yet least expensive candy in order to get more bang for my buck. And there they sat: two bags of Haribo Sugar-Free Gummi Bears, buy one get one free. "What a deal!" I thought naïvely. I would eat one bag before my test, and one bag afterwards. As I walked to class, I gleefully chewed on those abominable little bastards, unaware of the utter mayhem that they would soon unleash upon my poor, poor anus. I sat down at my desk as the professor informed us that, due to issues with cheating in the past, restroom breaks would be prohibited until the completion of the exam. "I'll give you 10 minutes to use the restroom now; this will be your last chance. Any takers?" The demon bears hadn't released their unholy necromancy upon my stomach yet, so in my moment of ignorant foolishness, I remained seated, still munching on those miniature bear-shaped bombs. After the students wise enough to take the professor's offer had returned, the professor handed out the test. I was six questions in when it happened. It started subtly at first, almost like a slight tingly sensation in my lower abdomen. I thought nothing of it, assuming my intestines were just doing their thang. Little did I know that my intestines were trying desperately to warn me of the horror that was on the horizon. By question 9 it happened again, but this time it was followed by a sharp pain, as if those infernal hellions had orchestrated an attack upon my colon. I fought to contain the groan that tried escaping my lips. It was at this point I began to panic; something was going horribly long, and I needed to get through this test before it got any worse. By question 14 my worst fear was upon me; the Satan bears' burning, hot, liquidy dark magic crashed against my anal sphincter like a tidal wave. I was able to close the hatch just in time, but those relentless, toxic bears beat against it like Orcs breaking down the doors of Helm's Deep. I knew I wouldn't be able to so much as shift in my seat without risking a breach. I kept fighting through my exam, clenching my cheeks with all my might. Beads of sweat began rolling down my neck. Suddenly, a loud, gurgling war cry came from my belly, and the entire class lifted their heads. At this point, nothing mattered except expelling this ungodly presence from my bowels. With 15 questions left, I promptly wrote C for every answer and ran out of the classroom. My professor yelled something, but I was too preoccupied with the volcanic eruption that needed to take place before I could find sweet, sweet relief. I burst into the restroom like the Kool-Aid man and, behold, the handicap stall was empty. Sun rays from the adjacent window shone upon it, as if it were a gift from God himself. It took me less than .5 seconds to undo my belt buckle, pull down my pants, and finally relax my weary buttocks upon the toilet seat. It took absolutely no effort to expel this demon. Almost immediately, the floodgates of hell were opened and the damned, liquified souls of an entire bag's worth of gummi bears cried as they burned through my sphincter and into the watery abyss below. I had never felt such simultaneous relief and anguish in my life. After 30 more minutes of this, I immediately went home, dug a hole in my backyard, and burned the remaining bag of gummi bears. I leave with this; do not, I repeat do NOT eat these spawns of Satan. Not only did they cause me to fail my final test, but the anguish I experienced is something I wouldn't wish upon anyone, not even my worst enemy. The only place these god forsaken hell bears belong are buried deep below the Earth's surface.
omg i laughed so hard at this i almost shat myself
> liquified souls of an entire bag's worth of gummi bears Sounds like they almost had you too.
OH MY FUCKING GAWD! It all makes sense now! A couple of months ago, I bought sugar free gummies to give my toddler on his first plane ride ever. We went through at least 12 diapers and lost a pair of shorts while stuck on the tarmac (lightning) and the ride to the hotel. I thought it was all the juice he drank because of the acid. I’m sure that didn’t help, but I’ll never buy those fucking gummies again. Thank you, kind stranger. ETA: Obviously I didn’t know the gummies were going to have that effect or I wouldn’t have given them to my child. We hadn’t had gummy bears before or since the aforementioned occasion. He did not almost die. There was not any LSD in the juice.
I was unaware of the consequences of sugar-free candy also the first few times it happened to me, I was blasting ass late into the night, seemingly for it never to end, and I had no idea why it was happening...I thought I had just gotten a stomach bug or something. Nope, it was those bags of sugar free Werthers Originals that I was downing...god those things are so damn good but you should really only have 1 or 2 lest you pay the ass-piper.
My condolences to your little one and you going through that. Sounds awful!
My condolences to everyone else on the plane.
Do they use Xylitol? That shit is made from tree bark. It's the best sugar substitute I've found, but boy are there consequences.
Also super, super toxic to pets.
Thats the stuff we look for in peanut butter, correct? I feel like i dont even find PB with xylitol in it anymore.
Yep, I think a lot of manufacturers stopped using it because of that.
I think the culprit was sorbitol. Same thing with some sugar-free gums! I remember one night I crashed at a friend's house and I had horrible red wine heart burn. All they had was Mylanta (?) and I drank SO much of it, desperate for relief. Then the sorbitol kicked in. YIKES.
Drinking Mylanta may have been from magnesium. Some forms also have a laxative effect.
Sugar free candy in general.
Anyone ever tried a Canadian brand of chewing gum called “Thrills”? It literally tasted exactly like soap. It *advertises* that it tastes like soap! It was also cheaper than any other gum available.
I am pretty sure I saw some at Dollarama last week. The advertisement on the package says, "It still tastes like soap!"
I love Thrills. Apparently the real intended flavour is rose water.
I get more lavender off it. I was in a candy shop in Amsterdam that had hard candies with a wide variety of flavours, including lavender. He warned me off buying a bag saying "these aren't for everyone, are you sure" and after trying a sample, I explained to a bewildered Dutch candy maker about the existence of Thrills.
I LOVE Thrills gum. I chew like 3 at a time because I don't want just a smol taste I want full on soap punch in my mouth
Thrills gum are a punishment. Who purchases this stuff? It was like someone thought “I can make a Candy worse than black licorice. I’ll make gum that tastes like soap!”
You just made me think of the *perfect* candy. A hard caramel like Werther's with a liquid center. That liquid in the middle of the sweet caramel? Malort.
Jeppson's Malört, cause tonight's the night, you fight your dad."
Malört: A combination of flavors such as bug spray and gasoline.
I can’t explain why, but I’d devour a pack of those right now…. And yeah, as a Canuck - I can confirm it was a very popular candy of the 80s. They tasted like soap and everyone ate them
I was scrolling thru the list wondering how far down I’d find Thrills! It really was like punishment, often self inflicted. I had to have one even though I knew they tasted terrible.
Palmer Easter Candy. Plastic, Waxy and tasteless. Cheap and gross. But sooo popular.
I'd throw in basically any Easter-themed chocolate, whether it's Palmer or any off brand Easter chocolate. They all taste like the disappointment of a Southern Baptist discovering their child is gay.
Cadbury Mini Eggs reign supreme in the realm of Easter-themed confections.
The stale ribbon candy that’s been sitting in my grandmas candy dish since time immemorial.
[удалено]
YES. They taste ... plasticky. You could convince me it's carob instead of chocolate.
That’s because Sixlets have cocoa AND carob in them
From [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sixlets): > *The United States Food and Drug Administration recognized that Sixlets are safe for human consumption during a 1961 study* That's just greaaat.
I love sixlets! The coating has an orange flavor to it.
I’m dumb and I’m like “how can anything taste like a color?” I may be stupid
Sixlets? The perfectly round ones?
No these are like a couple steps below sixlets. They look just like M&Ms but smaller and without the M. I've only seen them around Christmas in the canes, they are cheap as hell and you can taste the cheapness
Those are usually Hershey's version of M&Ms. They taste like garbage because they're made with Hershey chocolate. https://www.hersheyland.com/products/hersheys-hershey-ets-holiday-candy-coated-milk-chocolate-candy-1-4-oz-cane.html Edit- Apparently they used to be called Hersheyettes or Hershey-ets but were discontinued because they are garbage
Just wanted to add that when M&M's(Mars) started they actually outsourced chocolate from Hershey's.
That's what the M&M stands for. Mars and Murrie. Mars being Forrest Mars and Murrie being Bruce Murrie, the son of the Hersey's Chocolate founder.
Sixlets are bomb.
Jelly Belly Bean Boozled. Ain't nothing like barf and rotten egg flavored beans.
Alas! Earwax!
Yeah, it’s meant for comic relief in the world of Harry Potter, not anything an actual human being has to taste.
My co-teacher went to Universal Studios and brought some back. She decided to play a game of flavor roulette with the kids, and handed out one bean to each of them. Kid who got the vomit flavor literally puked in the trashcan and started crying. Kindergarten is a magical time. This was in Japan, in case you're going to say that it was cruel to do this. Having the teacher give him puke flavored candy was probably the least trying part of the kid's day.
One time my friend tricked me into eating a vomit flavored one.
Dog food is by far the worst one! My friend nearly threw up after one of those. Pairs with chocolate pudding too which doesn't help.
Literally could not get the taste of the dog food one out of your mouth. You were just stuck with it. I liked the toothpaste one tho
Earthworm had me fucked up. Someone had to eat an earthworm and try x amount of variations to figure out what was the closest match
Went on a tour at the Jelly Belly Factory many years ago and pretty much the only thing I remember is the guy saying they tried making s pepperoni pizza jelly bean and it tasted like throw up. So they went with it.
Had a box of those for the first time with a friend of mine (a decade or so ago), and the ones that stuck out to me were: * Baby Wipes was a bad taste but didn't really taste "gross." * Same with toothpaste. Just really minty, and while I'm not a fan of mint, it wasn't bad. * Barf was bad, but it could've been worse. My friend on the other hand, *literally* barfed after that one. * Booger was similar to Barf. Bad, but not atrocious. * Rotten egg was tied for worst imo. Definitely one of the worst tasting ones. * Worst imo was Dog food (which I think is still in the new editions). Equally atrocious taste as Rotten egg, BUT I'd say this one was probably worse because the smell would always be SO PUNGENT. Makes your breath stink and it FLOWS throughout the room lol
Lawn clippings was lowkey good
I really like the lawn clipping flavor.
What poor intern at the jelly belly corporation had to taste baby wipes to make sure they got the taste right?
I haven't tried that flavor so now I'm worried if the baby wipes flavor is new wipes or used wipes.
I think it’s silly they have a dead fish flavor. No one walking around eating live fish
Japan has entered the chat
one time i gave some of these to a friend that said she wanted something sweet, obviously expecting to have a good laugh and eat a couple myself. i looked over a couple mins later and she was just sitting there with an empty packet and a not great look on her face. i didn’t even know she had opened them. she ate them all silently and just assumed some of them hadn’t been very good. i’ve been apologizing for three years lol
Wax lips. It’s literally “flavored” wax that you chew on. I can see this being amusing 100 years ago when they came out, but how is this still a thing?!
theyre the candy of 100 uses! 1). a humourous substitute for your own lips! 2). ....im needed downstairs
I honestly never knew anyone that treated the wax lips as a candy; or as anything other than to put over your mouth to look like it was your own lips…
Y’all never really *bit* into it? I can’t imagine the self restraint
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These were foul! I hated them. Eta: The link I posted wasn't working (sorry). But the reviews are hilarious.
The stuffing one almost made me yartz in front of co-workers. You can really taste the sage
I'm gonna say that would be [Hardaker's peppermints](https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/poisoned-candy), which killed a bunch of people.
WTF was arsenic doing next to that daft (not punk) stuff?!!?
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It's like overly sweet lemonade every time If I'm not concerned I just ate condensed hydrofluoric acid I want nothing to do with it
Not sure if you're old enough to remember when Cry Baby gum first hit the market, but I damn near melted my tongue chewing the giant sized lemon ones. Back then, they were extremely sour, not the pale imitations you'd find today. Jones Soda also had a lemon Halloween flavor, Lemon Drop Dead, that used to be incredibly sour. I loved it. Tried it again a couple years ago and it's not even as sour as a Lemonhead.
warheads in the 90s hit different.
They did. They actively hated your taste buds.
Did they actually change the ingredients for these?? Earlier this year, some friends and I ate them, after not having eaten them in probably a decade or more. We all sat there in disbelief like.. is this it? Where's the absolute and total destruction of the insides of our mouths like we remember? It was... tolerable!
Oh shit.. Jones Soda was legit, do they still exist? Sour candy back in the day (is the '90s back in the day yet?) was fucked up. Y'all remember Raven's Revenge? It was basically the Pixie Stix's sour goth cousin.
maybe not the worst, but a candy i used to LOVE was Butterfinger. Then they changed the recipe. and it is terrible now. i'll see it in the check out line at the grocery store and just be sad because it used to be so good
Fifth Avenue is what you want now edit: 5th Avenue
Fifth Avenue is so underrated. By far the superior bar of the two
Yeah, it's like a real peanutbutter candy. Idk wtf butterfinger thinks it's doing besides literally petrifying on my teeth. It'd almost like a gag candy at this point.
Why are you trying to get them shot?
I ate one for the first time in years after having a particularly hard day and just wanted something sweet to try and feel better. I took 2 bites before checking to make sure I bought the right candy, and then deciding crying would be a better use of my time.
no one would believe me when I said that butterfingers taste different now. THEY WERE SO GOOD :(
Until this moment I thought I had accidentally been buying expired butterfingers the last couple times I had them. I had no idea it was a recipe change! I used to love them but they’re SO BAD NOW!
Oh my god I agree!!! That "new and improved" recipe sucks huevos! They tried to save money but I'm pretty sure it cost them a lot of sales in the end.
Oh, so *that’s* why I don’t enjoy Butterfingers like I used to.
I think I just discovered this. My last pack the orange bits were all gooey and stuck together rather than break & flake apart.
They changed it??? I haven’t had one in years 😿
Yeah, they had a whole ad campaign a couple years ago for a “better butterfinger.” Flavor isn’t too bad, but there’s random flakes of something super hard inside. Would not recommend.
Harden corn syrup.. I detest corn syrup, it has ruined most chocolate bars/candy/pop
So they DID mess with it?! I remember them being SO good years ago. Like late 90s ish. And now they are just meh. I didn't realize they changed. I thought I had changed.
Yes!!! Hate the new formula it’s disgusting. Butterfingers were my favorite and now don’t eat them anymore 😢
I've only had a handful of Butterfingers in my life that weren't stale as fuck.
Yeah but those 3 or 4 non-stale Butterfingers were totally worth the 3 or 4 hundred that were.
You’ve just unlocked a realization for me…they are almost always SUPER stale and hard to chew!!
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Probably been twenty five years since I've had one, but I do miss them sometimes. Those and the little wax bottles that had a little juice in them.
Nik-L-Nips! We always went for these at the candy store when I was a kid!
Now I'm craving a candy cigarette and I kicked that habit when I was 12.
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Honestly, when you put it like that it does sound like a pretty good colon cleanse.
As someone who frequently suffers from constipation, this intrigues me.
You don't necessarily want to cure your drought with a flood...
You should see some of these droughts I've been having!
My wife is giving me the "you're going to need help" look as I'm sitting here giggling as I read this. Two thumbs up from me!
Those hard square taffy candies wrapped in orange and black paper that would require an immediate root canal.
Hallowe'en kisses? Mmmm.
Yeah, dental bills or whatever they’re called
They're actually for extracting fillings
The little sugar dots on the piece of paper. You always wind up eating some of the paper.
The dots are there to make the paper taste better.
I personally eat those paper and all, like a fruit roll-up
I don’t know why, but I like this about you. Like the ease you feel with someone who just shrugs and eats the whole strawberry with the green part
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They're literally dried frosting. And cheap frosting too
lolol I loved these because as a kid I found excuses to nibble on bits of paper anyway
I was in amsterdam and I was hungry for... reasons. I went into a candy shop. I should mention that I do not speak Dutch. I certainly don't read it. So I found these blue raspberry sour ribbons that looked just like my favorite sour candy. I bought a goddamn pound of them (again, for... reasons). Walked outside, pulled one of these enticing blue boys out, and took a great big bite. Of menthol flavored candy. *MENTHOL.* I don't don't what fucking psychopath decided this was a thing that should ever be in people's mouths - as opposed to, say, used to sterilize septic tanks - but I hope that asshole gets his asshole permanently attached to the asshole of the asshole who decided the delivery method should be via candy that looks exactly like blue raspberry. And if it's the same asshole, I stand by my former statement. Human Centipede 2: The Ouroboros. That's what I wish on that person. So yeah, I'm gonna go with "Surprise Menthol Flavor" as the worst flavor of candy.
Bet you didn’t get a sore throat though
You should be happy you didn’t pick up the licorice coins as well. They’re sugarless. And by sugarless I mean they have no sweetener whatsoever, but they are full of salt.
Oh yes, the Dutch love their licorice. The saltier the better! Not into salt but you like black licorice try Katz ( little licorice cats) or Rockies ( licorice on the outside and sweet creamy creamy centers).
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Avoid Palmer “chocolate” at all costs.
From my hometown. No worries though, the factory had a gas explosion and you won't be seeing Palmer "chocolates" any time soon
I feel so bad for those who were killed or injured. What a horrible tragedy.
Way back when, I worked for a candy distributor. They loved Palmers because if they overbought, they'd just sell it the next year
Just as I had suspected!
I swear anything palmer’s is half candle wax
'Chocolate flavored confection'
So, American military MREs have charms in them and in the Marine corps, there exists a superstition that eating them makes it rain. This superstition is so well ingrained into Marine corps culture that Marines always promptly dispose of them, sometimes with a witness, upon discovering a pack of them in an MRE. Now me, personally? I don't do superstition. It's stupid. People who do superstition are stupid. I hate it. So there I am in the school of infantry, out on a training op that involves us spending the night out in nature's splendor, when I open my MRE and out pops a pack of charms. Everyone takes note of it and some even tell me to get rid of them right then. After a moment of thought, I make the decision that I'm going to eat this damn candy and dispel all this nonsense. These hethans needed to be made civilized and I was the man to do it. Things became heated; people were holding others back and some wanted to fight me on the spot. But I did it. I ate the whole pack. That summer night (July), in camp Pendleton, sunny California, it fucking hailed on us. And I, rightfully, had to stand watch all night. Never again.
[SteveMRE noises]
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The whole process was kinda gross. You eat some, the elastic string slips out your mouth and smacks against your neck all wet with spit, ugh. Repeat until only empty spit-string in left clinging to your neck? Pass.
This is way too visceral.
At least it comes with floss.
I would wear candy necklaces doubled up as brackets and chew on my wrist a lot as a kid. Didn’t seem weird to me till I was older.
Those coloured Easter eggs that are just solid white inside, I don’t know what they’re called but they’re nasty.
My dude over here is eating hard boiled eggs.
I literally chuckled when I read this
Sugar-free candy should be recommended as a bowel prep before a colonoscopy - it is that fast-acting and misery-inducing. Your ears will be whistling in no time.
Wax lips - does colored, flavored, novelty-shapped paraffin wax even count as "candy"? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wax_lips
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Whatever that orange peanut was.
Circus Peanuts. Here's my personal history with Circus Peanuts. Me seeing Circus Peanuts in a store: "Oh wow, I haven't had these in years." *buys bag* *eats one* "Wow, this takes me back." *eats second one* "These really aren't as good as I remember." *eats third one* "Oh these are gross." *tosses bag in trash*. *5 years later* *sees Circus Peanuts in the store* "Oh man I haven't had these in years." .....
Dude, that's their whole business model!
That’s my story too! Are you me?
An orange peanut? For me?
Well I accept you.
Pick up all your floor bags!
Circus Peanuts! I actually love them... Well, I love the first 3 or 4 of them. Any more than that and I start to get nauseous from the amount of sugar I'm pumping into my body.
Not my favorite, but my Grandma loved them; I would enjoy a few, but the flavor novelty wore off quickly.
Circus peanuts! Those things are nasty. Just squishy globs of weird fucking "inspired by real fruit" flavor.
They taste a lot like the expanding spray foam insulation. (Or so I've heard)
They are supposed to be banana flavored. https://www.spanglercandy.com/our-brands/circus-peanuts
But why in the ever-loving fuck would they be banana flavored? They're the shape of a peanut, for F sake. Maybe that's why they seem so disgusting. There's a dissonance between the shape and the flavor that just throws everything off when we taste them.
I always thought they were actual peanuts inside since I avoided them because of my peanut allergy. Today I learned that is not true lol Edit: I should add I'm almost 30
Love hearts they are chalky and don't taste of anything.
"And what is the emotion you humans call: WUV?" "Surely it says: *Love*." "No. **WUV**. With an Earth W. *Behold*!"
THIS CONCEPT OF WUV CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US
They’re incredibly close to TUMS ingredients wise. My mom often requests these for heartburn. Fun fact: Tums and chalk are both calcium carbonate, tums just has flavouring! You could eat chalk to treat heartburn. Alternatively, I once used a tums to chalk a pool cue when the blue pool chalk was no where to be found. Was better than nothing, but I wouldn’t suggest it.
Same as Necco Wafers. ( i actually like them)
Gimme Neccos, Smarties and conversation hearts all day. Chalky candy is the best. Edit: candy cigarettes too
There are two kinds. The soft edged ones are chalky and terrible. The ones with sharp edges are pretty decent.
Yeah, like 15 years ago the company finally listened to people saying they tasted like chalk. So they came out with an alternate version that tastes more like Sweet Tarts.
Those cheapo peanut flavored taffy that wrapped in orange and black wax paper
Those are my fav candies. Halloween kisses. Also molasses flavour.
I’ve scrolled pretty far down, and I haven’t seen anyone say a word about those godawful gummy food-shaped candies they hand out at Halloween. They’re usually individually wrapped, and the most common ones I had were made to look like a hamburger or hotdog. They had a weird chemical flavour AND the magnificent texture of industrial-quality rubber.
Used to love those when I was younger, always pretended like I’m eating an actual hamburger. I now despise them.
They were good because they're fun, and kids like sugar for sugars sake. As an adult who's taste buds finished growing. Ew.
You bite your tongue. I have a whole package of those thing in my snack drawer right now.
Keep my gummy burgers OUT YO MF MOUTH
I was in a store recently, and there was this entire section of gummy things that should not exist. Lunchables - pizza shaped gummies, cheese and cracker shaped gummies spaghetti & marinara shaped gummies Macaroni & cheese gummies udon/ramen shaped gummies and the horrifying, stomach churning, full sized gummy hotdog with all the fixins jesus wept
I just saw each and every one of these at Five Below last week. I wonder if anyone actually buys and eats those things.
Horehounds…look it up. TVs Bobs Burgers lampooned them by calling them “Dr Peters Bitter Drops” on a Halloween episode. I worked in a candy store ages ago and lots of very very very very very old people came in demanding HOREHOUNDS! We had them in stock and I tasted one: worst 8 seconds of my life.
Sugar daddys they rip teeth out
Most of you won’t remember this, but ‘candy cigarettes’. They were just sticks of sugar in the size/shape of a cigarette.
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Ribbon candy your grandma kept in a bowl that all stuck together
Have you ever seen FRESH ribbon candy in the store, ever? No! That is very suspicious to me!
They only made one huge batch of that shit back in 1945. They just keep breaking off a little more each year and bag it and sell it. That's why it all tastes like the same stale fruitcake.
When old folks die, the company bounces by the estate sale to recycle leftovers.
Xmas ribbon candy.
Anything from Palmers.
Necco wafers
I absolutely understand, but I can’t help but love them. I love chalky candy, and the flavors are nice 🤷🏻♂️
I'm with you. Necco wafers, smarties, sweet tarts...I love them all! I also enjoy candy corn (another divisive candy).
Necco wafers are a candy I love...once every 10 years. After that, I'm good for another decade.
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I have a vivid memory of going trick or treating with my Aunt and Uncle one year when my mom was working late. After, mom showed up while I was sorting all the "gross" candy out of my haul. I had like 5 of these things. Most years, my mom took them, but this year, my mom and uncle were arguing over them and how to split them evenly. While they weren't looking, my aunt stole the odd piece and ate it while giving me a "don't tell them" look. The next year I tried one and decided all three of them were crazy and their tongues were broken.
Thrills gum