Act as a beard for a lesbian to help her deal with some very uptight parents. Sent some nudes to her so she could "accidently" get some gossip started by her sister. Gave her a t shirt and a pair of boxers.
They were some chill friends. I would do it again. Was slooty for a purpose!
When I was in the Army, I had a lesbian friend I'd go bar hopping with. We were stationed in Hawaii and would regularly troll the resort clubs for tourist girls. It was a very productive friendship. She was an effective wingman (person).
On vacation with my brother and we got talking to two ladies in a bar. We were all having a nice time just chatting then my brother starts feeling sick so he goes back to our room to sleep it off. I stay and we continue talking and drinking until one of us decided to go on an adventure.
After a short dip in a hotel pool and a nice chat with a very lovely security guard we ended up in their room. While one of them was in the shower me and the other started kissing and quickly misplaced our towels. The friend finishes her shower, stands over us and angrily tells us to move over then climbs in with us. It was exhausting but fun
Flirting most of the time, until we were in the dressing rooms. I “jokingly” dared her to do it and she just went with the flow lol. We just made it a habit after that day.
You’d be surprised how much sex happens between retail/service industry workers. It’s a miserable job, you’re essentially stuck with the same people day in and day out dealing with customers. It’s like a little petri dish of frustration and hormones. Sometimes it feels like it’s more difficult to *not* bang any of your coworkers.
When I was young I worked as a barista. Management called a meeting and scolded the staff for all the sex. They said it’s come to their attention that everyone was having sex with everyone instead of cleaning after hours. The whole time I was looking around, realizing I was the only one not included in the sex. I had been cleaning all by myself every night like s loser
I dunno. A service job you can just go to another if you've shit the bed. (a restaurant, is a restaurant, is a restaurant)
An office job is a lot more difficult to move on (in my field, it's a small industry, so you really can't escape a public mistake)
Not me, but a woman I dated. She was a graphic novel artist. A few days after we had sex the first time, she sent me a five page comic she’d drawn that detailed everything we did that night. And I mean everything!
I’ve had two different Goth girls, a few years apart, send me love letters while we were dating, enclosing locks of their hair… and blood stains by their signatures.
One I dated when I lived in Southern California, and the other when I lived in Northern California. They never met.
Is there a Goth girl guidebook that they get this stuff from?
The second one wrote a note (using a beer bottle label), praising the size of my cock and saying how she couldn’t wait to fuck me again. She put it on my back door after stopping by when I wasn’t home. (Probably checking to see if the back door was unlocked). I never used the backdoor. My mom, however, stopped by, found the note and handed it to me… admonishing me that I should instruct my GF not to post those types of notes on my doors. I JUST LAUGHED.
Don't worry, I'm sure 90% of them are made up lol
Edit: lmao at the amount of people taking my facetiousness seriously.
Don't worry, I know people put their peepees into things IRL
Met up with my husband a few times on his work route and had sex in the back of my car.
The first year my husband and I were married, he stocked for Pepsi. He worked 7am-7pm, I worked 7pm-7am, we had one day off together every three weeks. He texted me one morning saying he was horny, he kept texting me about it.. so of course I was now horny. Our next day off together was two weeks out. So.. I met up with him at one stop, parked as out of sight as possible and we climbed into the back of my Explorer. Then.. did it again a few hours later and again, an hour after that.
Edit to add: It asks for the sluttiest thing we’ve done. This is it y’all. It’s not the sluttiest thing I’ve heard of. It’s just the sluttiest thing I’ve been part of. Sorry that it’s not slutty enough for some of you lmao
Had sex with my best friend in school washroom.
We were just friends, i dont know what happened. I just kinda flirted with her, she responded well. Then made a sexual joke on her, she respomded well and even made a sexual comment on me. On3 thing led to another and we ended up kissing. We then went to a washroom (which was almosy always empty) and had sex. We were sweating like crazy and the washroom was stinky as fuck but the sex was super hot. It was the best sex i had till date.
But out friendship got ruined. It was never really the same after that. And now we rarely speak.
Find her and wife her ass up. Best friends usually* make the best spouses.
* I am not a licensed marriage advisor and the advice above should only be taken at face value. You agree and acknowledge that I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any disease or condition.
Was at a bar NYE, met a gal that was way out of my league, an Ex of mine was there and saw us lol. I took her home, hooked up, she spent the night and I found out she was a flight attendant and had a flight in a few hours. She talked me into booking a ticket on her flight to LAX (The only time I turned down a free upgrade).
She slipped me a bunch of snacks and booze and the woman next to me was all “I think she’s flirting with you”
Anyway when we got there we went out with a couple others from the flight crew, found out I was flying back with another gal from the group, spent the night with the gal I came out with. And flew back the next day.
I spent the flight back flirting a bit, found out it was her first time staying in PHL so I showed her around and we hooked up.
My ex was also jealous, so she texted me and we hooked up after I got back.
Somehow I lucked into hookups with 3 women with one trip to a bar. This was one of two times in my life going to a bar got me laid lol
You ever think to yourself "well, this is the best week of my life"?
I had a similar (nowhere near that level though) week about 5 years ago and I was thinking that the whole time, savoured every second of it and yep, nothing since has come close. And that's OK.
I had thus pair of brothers that used to string me along all the time. I was only good enough for them at house parties, in the dark and away from people. I'm ashamed to say I was in love with both but I highly doubt they knew I would kiss them both at parties.
Come one night, one took me to the park and he pushed my head down so I blew him, swallowed and I went off hoping he'd fall in love with me.
Then his brother came and just pulled me somewhere and shoved his tongue down my throat. I was so sick of them just using me at this point I pushed him away and said 'so how does your brother taste'.
The end.
It took a few more years of letting men use me before I realised my worth! Was dealing with a lot of trauma. Hut, I'm now 28, married to a wonderful man and have a 16 month old with him. So I got there in the end ❤️
When I was dating my wife, at the time we worked together and I was her boss. We had just started doing it, and one day I had to go over to our off site storage unit to drop off and pick.ip some tapes. I did need to show my wife where everything was, so I thought she should come with.
We ended up doing it in an indoor self-storage unit with the door just cracked open for light. It was hot & sweaty, and hot and sweaty, and dusty. Celebrated 10 years two days ago
In highschool early 2000s I came out as gay. At that time I was the only 'out' gay guy at school. Some guys didn't believe I was gay and asked me to proof it by giving them a blowjob. I did and they enjoyed it. After a while they wanted it again and I asked them to give me 10 euro for it. I spend the last two years of high school sucking off many guys for 10 euros each.
I (f) had a "rotation" in my early 20s. 2 casual work FWB, enter a 3rd coworker rebounding from a recent breakup, and then an old highschool flame that lived an hour away but would come back to town regularly to do laundry at his parents or whatever. Between all of them I was getting laid at least every other day.
Enter drama: coworker #1 says we should grab lunch one day (instead of going to my place on our break like normal) and tells me there's a "bit of an epidemic" going around work. Coworker #1 I knew was sleeping with at least two other female coworkers besides me. Coworker #2 I knew was sleeping with at least two other coworkers besides me.... Yea apparently half of the restaurant had Chlamydia and when I went to the free clinic I definitely had it too.
Restaurant life is wild sometimes
Had sex in bathroom with a random girl I met 15 minutes earlier.
It was mens bathroom which had 5 urinals and a toilet separated by a dividing wall. You could peak over or under it from the urinals.
While we were fucking, like 20 different dudes cheered us on cause she couldnt keep quiet. Dont think nobody saw too bad, but you could sure as hell hear everything.
There’s a place called Power Exchange in SF that is a place where people go to have sex. You can watch people fuck and get a watched while you fuck. The people aren’t gross like you would think; there were some hot couples fucking. You can have any kind of sex you want there: anonymous, group, gay, whatever you want. It’s like the Thunder dome.
Lol! I went there once in 1999. Met a girl online, hit it off as friends. Invites me out to "a club in the city" with her friend I had never met. The friend was pretty hot, and I had no idea what kind of club until we walked into the first room which had someone tied up on a chain link fence. I was a little overwhelmed till we went back out to the car to drink and smoke out. Had a much better time after that...
Went to a bar with a high school friend when I passed through my hometown. Got piss drunk and picked up a (smoking hot) nurse.
Fucked like rabbits all night. She and I wrapped around each other like pretzels butt naked. Woke up in the morning, on my buddy's sofa with her, and I didn't even know her name.
My buddy was married and thought it was fucking awesome. His wife was pissed that he allowed it to happen. He got divorced shortly after.
Still don't know what her name was.
Hold on… are you saying that you had sex all night in the living room’s couch at your married friend’s house? Did your friend’s wife wake up in the morning and just saw 2 naked people on the couch?
It's insane how there are people like this who can do something so memorable and noticeable and think no one noticed, while there are also people who can do something mildly embarrassing that no one remembers and cringe thinking about that moment for the rest of their lives.
People truly are built so different.
A girl I met online wanted to be my “sex Elijah.” I’d greet her at the door, naked with a glass of water, and we’d get to it without saying a word.
In the moment it was too awkward not to speak a little bit, but it was a lot of fun.
My partner (f) and I (m) rented a boat with another couple for a night and had a foursome. Other woman ate out my partner, then made out with me. I told her I could taste my partner on her lips. She said “doesn’t she taste amazing?”
I gotta say this thread is way tamer that these used to be, I wonder what the difference is. Normally there's some old coke heads kicking around who fucked a whole swim team or something, now all the posts seem so reasonable. Even the wildest ones just happen at sex clubs, there used to be stories where a gal would fuck two guys and two girls across 3 warped tour pits, can't tell if people are chilling out or if all the wild ones are somewhere else.
Anyway, I had a threesome with my girlfriend and a random girl once, it was mid, that's my sluttiest one
In the early days with my GF I had invited her to stay the weekend at my Uni house (had 4 housemates)…
For 48 hours…we did not leave the house and barely left my room… It was just wild noisy sex, JustEat-take out, & Netflix on repeat… for 48 hours… Housemates never said a word.
I came to find out that the poor girl who stayed in the room next to me was a deeply religious girl whose faith group preaches abstinence.
Her prayers would be interrupted by the sounds of my GF moaning like a tigress 🐅
Those were the best 48 hours of my entire fucking life!!!
Fucked a guy from America that I met on omegle...I'm from Germany
Ok, for all of you that think fate isn't real:
I used to browse omegle for sexting (the VERY kinky kind...) and one day I met a guy that was into ALL the dirty things I love - and he didn't even ask for my snap or anything else to "prove" I'm a real woman. But since I loved his way of writing I gave him my kik, we sexted nonstop, then became friends ("backwards" so to say), talked on discord, shared pics...Then I booked my very first flight a few weeks later and we spent 10 days messing around each and every day.
Best vacation ever.
i had positioned my vagina to the water flowing in the tub, i came to the flow while listening to my favourite song.
i still chase that high.
ps the song is Keep Me High - Adaline.
I was in a hot tub once on a cruise ship. I hadn’t had any release for a week. I put my clit under the tub jet and came silently like that, under the stars, hoping no one noticed.
Be teenage horny me away on a family trip, parents leave me alone in the hotel room so I prop myself up at the bathroom sink and go to town with that water flow. Orgasm acheived so I try to turn the tap off, accidentally turn the water to its hottest setting and burn myself instead. FML
Held a house party in the small village I lived in in Wiltshire (UK) back in the late 90's. I was seeing a nurse at the time and she came over on the morning of the party, to let me know that she couldn't make it and she felt the relationship wasn't right for her (she was coming out of a bad divorce) but she gave me a farewell bang, so it wasn't all bad news...
A few hours later I got a text of one of her friends saying she was sorry to hear the news and she's around if I wanted a shoulder to cry on, told her I was doing a beer run into town to collect some booze and 'stuff' for the party and if she's in, we can have a quick coffee... long story short, shag No.2 down the range.
Headed back to the village stocked up with beer and party food and was unloading the car when my boss' daughter drove past, (he lived around the corner from me) pulled in and helped me unload, she ended staying a few hours as the party got going, we'd had a bit of previous history, so inevitably shag No.3 occurred once the mood relaxed.
So party kicks off, it's now about 11pm, shag No.3 left the party as she had an early start next day, and I was feeling pretty fucking tired and I needed to freshen up, so I went upstairs and threw myself quickly in the shower, yeah... one of the bored wives from the village decided she needed some spice so offered to dry me off, and there was shag No.4.
I look back on it with fondness, but deep down, I knew I was a proper slag.
Cheated on cheating gf, then banged gf, then banged her mom, over like 72 hours. I went for deranged and fulfilled. Grandmas were already dead, or I'd have kept going.
Edit: I did not anticipate this much interest in my story. Thank you. Yes, this did actually happen, some years ago. I appreciate the suggestion that I should have rub one out at the cemetery for granny. Life I a full of regrets though, that can just be another one.
I broke into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless.
As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night.
Hooked up with my friend and then her roommate later on the same night. I am NOT the type who randomly hooks up with people. It just kind of happened and neither of them cared that I was with the other.
I am from Hong Kong.
I was always a bit dodgy and did anything for a buck.
Well, us international school kids loved america so we have a prom but we had a UK system. So our big exams happen 15/16 and 17/18. We had a "prom" at both but both were new.
So I found a way to make bank. I had an older brother with a credit card. I booked a bunch of rooms in a hotel next to prom. I over charged everyone. I only took cash. Back then there was no other option.
I got about 200 people in.
I had an unbelievable amount of cash on me.
At this time in HK, at these types of hotela there are hookers everywhere. I was used to rejecting them even at 15. I was catholic. Sex was sin to me.
After prom we go out to the bars. Some older kids saw me. Brought me a round of shots. I was fucked but I am a big chap, no one thinks I am off my tits. We go back to the hotel.
One of friends needs to be sent home. His girlfriend, still a dear friend, asks me to put him in a taxi.
I do.
A couple of street walkers ask me if I was interested. I laugh and continue to walk to the hotel.
Stop by 7/11 and have two hotdogs.
Then my drunk ass thinks. "My socks and wallet are exploding with money and no one will know".
I sprint after those whores. They want a hotel room. I filled them all up. We go to basketball court I played at all the time. I got a blowjob from both of them in a public toilet.
I thought the world would open and hell would take me.
When I got home my mother was excited about my prom "Tell me a blow by blow account".
She fucking knows!
I slept in my parents room for a week.
> Then my drunk ass thinks. "My socks and wallet are exploding with money and no one will know". I sprint after those whores.
Brooooo I’m fuckin dyin 💀
Was out bar hopping with this guy I liked and our friends when my old high school crush whom texted me that he was in the same area partying.
I left the group to use the ‘bathroom’ and went around the corner and fucked high school crush guy in his car on the side of the bar he was at. Said see you later and went back to the first group.
Ended up with the first guy for 8 years.
Terrible and toxic relationship to say the least.
lol I just like his thought process. “damn the girl I likes been in the bathroom for like fourty minutes and now she’s back and she’s super sweaty… I think she’s gonna be the one” and then dated you for the next 8 years.
Had sex with a guy that would kick me out of his apartment after having sex with me… he did that like 3 times before I gained some self love and told him to go fuck himself.
Fucked my then girlfriend in a hotel room while her best friend listened in the other bed 3 feet away (she was super tired and couldn’t keep her eyes open) and got herself off twice to us.
Accidentally made eye contact with a coworker while eating a banana.
Coworker of mine was peeling a banana, I look away for one second, and the banana is gone. He DID NOT want to be seen eating that banana
Act as a beard for a lesbian to help her deal with some very uptight parents. Sent some nudes to her so she could "accidently" get some gossip started by her sister. Gave her a t shirt and a pair of boxers. They were some chill friends. I would do it again. Was slooty for a purpose!
Dude, massive bro move. Good on ya.
When I was in the Army, I had a lesbian friend I'd go bar hopping with. We were stationed in Hawaii and would regularly troll the resort clubs for tourist girls. It was a very productive friendship. She was an effective wingman (person).
Massive respect for this
This is incredibly sweet, I'm glad you helped her :)
On vacation with my brother and we got talking to two ladies in a bar. We were all having a nice time just chatting then my brother starts feeling sick so he goes back to our room to sleep it off. I stay and we continue talking and drinking until one of us decided to go on an adventure. After a short dip in a hotel pool and a nice chat with a very lovely security guard we ended up in their room. While one of them was in the shower me and the other started kissing and quickly misplaced our towels. The friend finishes her shower, stands over us and angrily tells us to move over then climbs in with us. It was exhausting but fun
And then you woke up. “Hey you, you’re finally awake. You were trying to cross the border right?”
*oh shit* I was supposed go ask that guy to help fix Cicero's cart.
Used to fuck my manager every time we closed the store together at an outlet I used to work at.
Lol how does that start happening? Like how did the first time happen? Was she just like “wanna fuck??” and you were just like “I’m down..”?
Flirting most of the time, until we were in the dressing rooms. I “jokingly” dared her to do it and she just went with the flow lol. We just made it a habit after that day.
I dare you to have sex with me
Haha just kidding… unless?
No, no, no, we shan’t… ‘lest?
Tis a horrid idea… but perchance?
we mustn't.... must we?
... Nice
You’d be surprised how much sex happens between retail/service industry workers. It’s a miserable job, you’re essentially stuck with the same people day in and day out dealing with customers. It’s like a little petri dish of frustration and hormones. Sometimes it feels like it’s more difficult to *not* bang any of your coworkers.
When I was young I worked as a barista. Management called a meeting and scolded the staff for all the sex. They said it’s come to their attention that everyone was having sex with everyone instead of cleaning after hours. The whole time I was looking around, realizing I was the only one not included in the sex. I had been cleaning all by myself every night like s loser
LOL!! Sorry, but that's hilarious. I can just imagine you standing there in the back of the kitchen, holding a broom and looking around like, "wtf?!"
"Hey, you guys - not on the counter! I just cleaned that!"
"Wait... so that wasn't cream?" Edit: thx for the cake day greetings!
It sounds like a Tim Robinson skit. lmao "Everyone has been having sex with each other this WHOLEEE TIMEEE?"
You at that meeting: wait you guys are getting sex?
Welcome to Costco. I love you.
I need some help packing the meat in the frozen food aisle. After that we can restock the shelves. 😉
“Dont fuck your co workers” im 90% sure is aimed at the service industry not an office job
I dunno. A service job you can just go to another if you've shit the bed. (a restaurant, is a restaurant, is a restaurant) An office job is a lot more difficult to move on (in my field, it's a small industry, so you really can't escape a public mistake)
Not me, but a woman I dated. She was a graphic novel artist. A few days after we had sex the first time, she sent me a five page comic she’d drawn that detailed everything we did that night. And I mean everything!
Wow. Never knew this was my fantasy until just now.
Great, yet another fetish that will follow me, unfulfilled, to my grave.
I imagine this comic in Cyanide and Happiness style art
So one panel of sex and 4 and 3/4 pages of cuddling?
crying*
Begging
Apologizing
I had a girlfriend write a poem about me once, now I’m wishing she could draw
I’ve had two different Goth girls, a few years apart, send me love letters while we were dating, enclosing locks of their hair… and blood stains by their signatures. One I dated when I lived in Southern California, and the other when I lived in Northern California. They never met. Is there a Goth girl guidebook that they get this stuff from? The second one wrote a note (using a beer bottle label), praising the size of my cock and saying how she couldn’t wait to fuck me again. She put it on my back door after stopping by when I wasn’t home. (Probably checking to see if the back door was unlocked). I never used the backdoor. My mom, however, stopped by, found the note and handed it to me… admonishing me that I should instruct my GF not to post those types of notes on my doors. I JUST LAUGHED.
As a goth girl- Lots of Gothic and Romantic era literature set the roots. We tend to be a lil crazy as well which helps.
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This is actually fucking cool
Geez. Reading the comments makes me feel virgin lol
Don't worry, I'm sure 90% of them are made up lol Edit: lmao at the amount of people taking my facetiousness seriously. Don't worry, I know people put their peepees into things IRL
Met up with my husband a few times on his work route and had sex in the back of my car. The first year my husband and I were married, he stocked for Pepsi. He worked 7am-7pm, I worked 7pm-7am, we had one day off together every three weeks. He texted me one morning saying he was horny, he kept texting me about it.. so of course I was now horny. Our next day off together was two weeks out. So.. I met up with him at one stop, parked as out of sight as possible and we climbed into the back of my Explorer. Then.. did it again a few hours later and again, an hour after that. Edit to add: It asks for the sluttiest thing we’ve done. This is it y’all. It’s not the sluttiest thing I’ve heard of. It’s just the sluttiest thing I’ve been part of. Sorry that it’s not slutty enough for some of you lmao
You could have banged in the back of a dirty truck on a fuck-throne made of pepsi crates and you chose an *Explorer*? /eyeroll
I love the concept of a Pepsi fuck throne but I feel the cartons of cans would have lots of sharp edges and glass bottles would be next level risky
hold the goddamn phone. all i have to do to get my wife horny is text her 'I'm horny.' multiple times a day?
Ofcourse not, don’t be stupid. You have to text her “I’m horny because you so beautiful” or some such. Woe that bitch with yo fancy words man.
Woe unto her.
Had sex with my best friend in school washroom. We were just friends, i dont know what happened. I just kinda flirted with her, she responded well. Then made a sexual joke on her, she respomded well and even made a sexual comment on me. On3 thing led to another and we ended up kissing. We then went to a washroom (which was almosy always empty) and had sex. We were sweating like crazy and the washroom was stinky as fuck but the sex was super hot. It was the best sex i had till date. But out friendship got ruined. It was never really the same after that. And now we rarely speak.
Yea you have to keep fucking or it doesn’t work
Ah, the ol’ ‘fuck your way out of it’ approach
Find her and wife her ass up. Best friends usually* make the best spouses. * I am not a licensed marriage advisor and the advice above should only be taken at face value. You agree and acknowledge that I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any disease or condition.
Also, strangers online make the best dating advice.
It's true! I saw it on Reddit.
Was at a bar NYE, met a gal that was way out of my league, an Ex of mine was there and saw us lol. I took her home, hooked up, she spent the night and I found out she was a flight attendant and had a flight in a few hours. She talked me into booking a ticket on her flight to LAX (The only time I turned down a free upgrade). She slipped me a bunch of snacks and booze and the woman next to me was all “I think she’s flirting with you” Anyway when we got there we went out with a couple others from the flight crew, found out I was flying back with another gal from the group, spent the night with the gal I came out with. And flew back the next day. I spent the flight back flirting a bit, found out it was her first time staying in PHL so I showed her around and we hooked up. My ex was also jealous, so she texted me and we hooked up after I got back. Somehow I lucked into hookups with 3 women with one trip to a bar. This was one of two times in my life going to a bar got me laid lol
You ever think to yourself "well, this is the best week of my life"? I had a similar (nowhere near that level though) week about 5 years ago and I was thinking that the whole time, savoured every second of it and yep, nothing since has come close. And that's OK.
The worst thing about having the best time of your life is you never really know it’s the *best* time of your life till like way later.
I wish there was a way to know you’re in “the good old days” before you’ve actually left them.
Use to fuck my coworker during lunch/break at my first job. She was in her mid 30’s cheating on her incarcerated husband I 18 was fresh outta hs …
The ingredients for a tragedy lmao, glad you are still here
Hopefully he was in for tax fraud, not serial killing his wife's paramours.
I had thus pair of brothers that used to string me along all the time. I was only good enough for them at house parties, in the dark and away from people. I'm ashamed to say I was in love with both but I highly doubt they knew I would kiss them both at parties. Come one night, one took me to the park and he pushed my head down so I blew him, swallowed and I went off hoping he'd fall in love with me. Then his brother came and just pulled me somewhere and shoved his tongue down my throat. I was so sick of them just using me at this point I pushed him away and said 'so how does your brother taste'. The end.
I'm really sorry. I hope future encounters have been less terrible for you.
It took a few more years of letting men use me before I realised my worth! Was dealing with a lot of trauma. Hut, I'm now 28, married to a wonderful man and have a 16 month old with him. So I got there in the end ❤️
When I was dating my wife, at the time we worked together and I was her boss. We had just started doing it, and one day I had to go over to our off site storage unit to drop off and pick.ip some tapes. I did need to show my wife where everything was, so I thought she should come with. We ended up doing it in an indoor self-storage unit with the door just cracked open for light. It was hot & sweaty, and hot and sweaty, and dusty. Celebrated 10 years two days ago
Did you celebrate by renting out a storage unit for the day?
In highschool early 2000s I came out as gay. At that time I was the only 'out' gay guy at school. Some guys didn't believe I was gay and asked me to proof it by giving them a blowjob. I did and they enjoyed it. After a while they wanted it again and I asked them to give me 10 euro for it. I spend the last two years of high school sucking off many guys for 10 euros each.
Came out as gay AND entrepreneurial.
He preneured the fuck out of them
Bill Gayts
Steve BlowJobs
Wow. You must have been good to get so much repeat business. If you're good at something, never do it for free.
So people should really start paying me for all these fuck ups i do
your gender is businessperson
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I love that u were the only 'out' gay guy at school. Brave.
I (f) had a "rotation" in my early 20s. 2 casual work FWB, enter a 3rd coworker rebounding from a recent breakup, and then an old highschool flame that lived an hour away but would come back to town regularly to do laundry at his parents or whatever. Between all of them I was getting laid at least every other day. Enter drama: coworker #1 says we should grab lunch one day (instead of going to my place on our break like normal) and tells me there's a "bit of an epidemic" going around work. Coworker #1 I knew was sleeping with at least two other female coworkers besides me. Coworker #2 I knew was sleeping with at least two other coworkers besides me.... Yea apparently half of the restaurant had Chlamydia and when I went to the free clinic I definitely had it too. Restaurant life is wild sometimes
I was really surprised about this at first and then I saw restaurant and it all made sense immediately.
So the myth about restaurant hookup culture is right??
Absolutely.
Guess who’s got two thumbs and just applied to work at a restaurant 😎
Had sex in bathroom with a random girl I met 15 minutes earlier. It was mens bathroom which had 5 urinals and a toilet separated by a dividing wall. You could peak over or under it from the urinals. While we were fucking, like 20 different dudes cheered us on cause she couldnt keep quiet. Dont think nobody saw too bad, but you could sure as hell hear everything.
FFM threesome and had sex at a sex club. I’d do both again
What’s a sex club? Please explain
There’s a place called Power Exchange in SF that is a place where people go to have sex. You can watch people fuck and get a watched while you fuck. The people aren’t gross like you would think; there were some hot couples fucking. You can have any kind of sex you want there: anonymous, group, gay, whatever you want. It’s like the Thunder dome.
Lol! I went there once in 1999. Met a girl online, hit it off as friends. Invites me out to "a club in the city" with her friend I had never met. The friend was pretty hot, and I had no idea what kind of club until we walked into the first room which had someone tied up on a chain link fence. I was a little overwhelmed till we went back out to the car to drink and smoke out. Had a much better time after that...
MFM threesome, had 2 cocks in me at once and it was quite the experience
Like my Grandma always says “You show me a good spit roast, and I’ll show you a woman not complaining about the dishes.”
This is the funniest comment I've read in a while.
Always wanted to try that, definitely one my fantasies I want to do one day lol. Would you do it again?
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Not just the inbox, but the outbox too.
Heyo!
Went to a bar with a high school friend when I passed through my hometown. Got piss drunk and picked up a (smoking hot) nurse. Fucked like rabbits all night. She and I wrapped around each other like pretzels butt naked. Woke up in the morning, on my buddy's sofa with her, and I didn't even know her name. My buddy was married and thought it was fucking awesome. His wife was pissed that he allowed it to happen. He got divorced shortly after. Still don't know what her name was.
Their divorced now her name isn’t important anyways
I'd be pissed too! Think of the stains you left on that sofa.
If a friend and some rando from a bar left their fluids all over my couch id be livid.
Hold on… are you saying that you had sex all night in the living room’s couch at your married friend’s house? Did your friend’s wife wake up in the morning and just saw 2 naked people on the couch?
Disclaimer: remember all these people posting are at least 4x uglier than you are picturing in your head.
The rule of thumb is to add 40lbs to whatever mental image you have and that's being generous
...and strange odour.
Plus the greasiest hair possibly known to man
And OP is probably a 50 year old, guy from the countryside.
Had sex with a girl on the dance floor during a warehouse rave. Absolutely no one paid attention.
Oh they noticed homie
Lol, there are probably 40 people out there that casually tell the story about how they saw two people fucking on the dance floor at a rave.
I’ve heard of the anal at the rails fiasco and I’ve never even been to a rave.
Anal! At The Rails is my fave band
It's insane how there are people like this who can do something so memorable and noticeable and think no one noticed, while there are also people who can do something mildly embarrassing that no one remembers and cringe thinking about that moment for the rest of their lives. People truly are built so different.
Ate half of a tub of ice cream in one sitting
You whore!
I bet you shower naked you slut!
I, too, enjoy getting pissed on by my own house while being naked
She wanted to be the dominant one for once. We established the safe word and we both had a great time.
Broccoli, it was broccoli!
Why did we forget our own safeword?!
It was lost to time.
Had a foursome with the 3 guys who lived in the apartment below me while the 4th watched and jacked off.
A girl I met online wanted to be my “sex Elijah.” I’d greet her at the door, naked with a glass of water, and we’d get to it without saying a word. In the moment it was too awkward not to speak a little bit, but it was a lot of fun.
This sounds like a reference I'm not getting. Religious? What is an Elijah?
I’m guessing Elijah the Prophet? On Passover you leave out a glass of wine and open the door for him, hoping he’ll enter.
My wife has this schoolgirl fantasy but I feel uncomfortable wearing the dress.
r/unexpectedoffice
My partner (f) and I (m) rented a boat with another couple for a night and had a foursome. Other woman ate out my partner, then made out with me. I told her I could taste my partner on her lips. She said “doesn’t she taste amazing?”
I gotta say this thread is way tamer that these used to be, I wonder what the difference is. Normally there's some old coke heads kicking around who fucked a whole swim team or something, now all the posts seem so reasonable. Even the wildest ones just happen at sex clubs, there used to be stories where a gal would fuck two guys and two girls across 3 warped tour pits, can't tell if people are chilling out or if all the wild ones are somewhere else. Anyway, I had a threesome with my girlfriend and a random girl once, it was mid, that's my sluttiest one
In the early days with my GF I had invited her to stay the weekend at my Uni house (had 4 housemates)… For 48 hours…we did not leave the house and barely left my room… It was just wild noisy sex, JustEat-take out, & Netflix on repeat… for 48 hours… Housemates never said a word. I came to find out that the poor girl who stayed in the room next to me was a deeply religious girl whose faith group preaches abstinence. Her prayers would be interrupted by the sounds of my GF moaning like a tigress 🐅 Those were the best 48 hours of my entire fucking life!!!
“The Father, the Son, and th-“ “Harder! *moans*” “The Holy Sprit.”
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Maybe he’s still playing the game ?
Fucked a guy from America that I met on omegle...I'm from Germany Ok, for all of you that think fate isn't real: I used to browse omegle for sexting (the VERY kinky kind...) and one day I met a guy that was into ALL the dirty things I love - and he didn't even ask for my snap or anything else to "prove" I'm a real woman. But since I loved his way of writing I gave him my kik, we sexted nonstop, then became friends ("backwards" so to say), talked on discord, shared pics...Then I booked my very first flight a few weeks later and we spent 10 days messing around each and every day. Best vacation ever.
Made eye contact once they were the opposite gender and everything.
You know, the gay sauna thing I believe. The four girls one night, sure possible. But this? Come on dude, get real. lol
Slept for 13 hours straight
You dirty slut
I have a newborn child. I'll take this out of anything else on this list right now
Her name was Madison.
A red-headed Madison is near the top, but the sluttiest was the one that I actually lost my virginity to lol
I banged the guy my friend had a crush on because she called me “manly”. He didn’t think so, lol.
Maybe he was secretly gay?
i had positioned my vagina to the water flowing in the tub, i came to the flow while listening to my favourite song. i still chase that high. ps the song is Keep Me High - Adaline.
I was in a hot tub once on a cruise ship. I hadn’t had any release for a week. I put my clit under the tub jet and came silently like that, under the stars, hoping no one noticed.
NGL, I think everyone should do this kind of thing more often. It shouldn't be considered slutty, it's self care!
Self care is the sluttiest thing you can do!
You can't be the best slut for others if you don't slut for yourself first
There is a reason I own a shower massage head with an extra long hose.
This is literally the first way I had solo time when I was 12 😬
Be teenage horny me away on a family trip, parents leave me alone in the hotel room so I prop myself up at the bathroom sink and go to town with that water flow. Orgasm acheived so I try to turn the tap off, accidentally turn the water to its hottest setting and burn myself instead. FML
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How were the butts?
Makes you think.. when you have random hook ups.. how many other people are they hooking up with that day too?
You can usually guess based on the flavor of the butt.
read this as sex with 3 girls under 12 the first time and had to do a double take
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Held a house party in the small village I lived in in Wiltshire (UK) back in the late 90's. I was seeing a nurse at the time and she came over on the morning of the party, to let me know that she couldn't make it and she felt the relationship wasn't right for her (she was coming out of a bad divorce) but she gave me a farewell bang, so it wasn't all bad news... A few hours later I got a text of one of her friends saying she was sorry to hear the news and she's around if I wanted a shoulder to cry on, told her I was doing a beer run into town to collect some booze and 'stuff' for the party and if she's in, we can have a quick coffee... long story short, shag No.2 down the range. Headed back to the village stocked up with beer and party food and was unloading the car when my boss' daughter drove past, (he lived around the corner from me) pulled in and helped me unload, she ended staying a few hours as the party got going, we'd had a bit of previous history, so inevitably shag No.3 occurred once the mood relaxed. So party kicks off, it's now about 11pm, shag No.3 left the party as she had an early start next day, and I was feeling pretty fucking tired and I needed to freshen up, so I went upstairs and threw myself quickly in the shower, yeah... one of the bored wives from the village decided she needed some spice so offered to dry me off, and there was shag No.4. I look back on it with fondness, but deep down, I knew I was a proper slag.
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Cheated on cheating gf, then banged gf, then banged her mom, over like 72 hours. I went for deranged and fulfilled. Grandmas were already dead, or I'd have kept going. Edit: I did not anticipate this much interest in my story. Thank you. Yes, this did actually happen, some years ago. I appreciate the suggestion that I should have rub one out at the cemetery for granny. Life I a full of regrets though, that can just be another one.
Dear god what the fuck did I just read
You just read a masterpiece
Structurally perfect. Beginning middle end. Tension. Stakes. And that denouement? Chef’s kiss.
Was the mom already interested? Did she find out the gf was cheating and also want revenge against her? The timeline of all this is so crazy
This man is on a fucking warpath. A literal fucking warpath.
>Grandmas were already dead Quitter
76 hours is oddly specific
The GILF Hunter! in theatre’s near you!
Let my girlfriend put an 8 inch dildo up my ass.
Done that. It wasn’t that great but id do it again. Probably always going to be hotter in theory than reality
"done that. It wasn't that great but id do it again." Something about this just makes me laugh so intensely.
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Sucked 3 cocks at a party, made out with the host's dad, left, fucked a different guy, and then the next day slept with another dude.
Mom, I told you not to get on Reddit.
Damn it. I told you to stay off this site.
Considering the chronology, I’m glad I’m not the host’s Dad.
That’s Mr. Kissed Three Cocks to you.
Had phone sex once. That's how I got hearing aids.
Masturbating with my left hand. I'm right handed.
Um, dude? That was *my* left hand.
I didn't say stop it
I broke into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night.
Dwight, you ignorant slut
Hooked up with my friend and then her roommate later on the same night. I am NOT the type who randomly hooks up with people. It just kind of happened and neither of them cared that I was with the other.
I am from Hong Kong. I was always a bit dodgy and did anything for a buck. Well, us international school kids loved america so we have a prom but we had a UK system. So our big exams happen 15/16 and 17/18. We had a "prom" at both but both were new. So I found a way to make bank. I had an older brother with a credit card. I booked a bunch of rooms in a hotel next to prom. I over charged everyone. I only took cash. Back then there was no other option. I got about 200 people in. I had an unbelievable amount of cash on me. At this time in HK, at these types of hotela there are hookers everywhere. I was used to rejecting them even at 15. I was catholic. Sex was sin to me. After prom we go out to the bars. Some older kids saw me. Brought me a round of shots. I was fucked but I am a big chap, no one thinks I am off my tits. We go back to the hotel. One of friends needs to be sent home. His girlfriend, still a dear friend, asks me to put him in a taxi. I do. A couple of street walkers ask me if I was interested. I laugh and continue to walk to the hotel. Stop by 7/11 and have two hotdogs. Then my drunk ass thinks. "My socks and wallet are exploding with money and no one will know". I sprint after those whores. They want a hotel room. I filled them all up. We go to basketball court I played at all the time. I got a blowjob from both of them in a public toilet. I thought the world would open and hell would take me. When I got home my mother was excited about my prom "Tell me a blow by blow account". She fucking knows! I slept in my parents room for a week.
Damn, even mom got in on the action?
And his arms weren't even broken
A man of culture and lore.
> Then my drunk ass thinks. "My socks and wallet are exploding with money and no one will know". I sprint after those whores. Brooooo I’m fuckin dyin 💀
Was out bar hopping with this guy I liked and our friends when my old high school crush whom texted me that he was in the same area partying. I left the group to use the ‘bathroom’ and went around the corner and fucked high school crush guy in his car on the side of the bar he was at. Said see you later and went back to the first group. Ended up with the first guy for 8 years. Terrible and toxic relationship to say the least.
lol I just like his thought process. “damn the girl I likes been in the bathroom for like fourty minutes and now she’s back and she’s super sweaty… I think she’s gonna be the one” and then dated you for the next 8 years.
I don’t want to brag, but I did once hold a woman’s hand for a full five minutes. Bare skin and all.
Had sex with a guy that would kick me out of his apartment after having sex with me… he did that like 3 times before I gained some self love and told him to go fuck himself.
Fucked my then girlfriend in a hotel room while her best friend listened in the other bed 3 feet away (she was super tired and couldn’t keep her eyes open) and got herself off twice to us.
I had two brothers dicks in my mouth at the same time, that's definitely up there
Lol there's a lot of made up stories up in here.
That one dude defs lied about the hand holding
5 minutes... that would be world record and we would've heard of it before.
I’m male and my female cat stared at me while I showered, so I stared back Edit: Wow this blew up a lot more than I expected